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Why Christian Girls Post Seductive Selfies

By: Kristen Clark

When I was in high school Bethany and I decided we wanted to do a really cool photo shoot of ourselves.

We put on the most modern outfits we could find, layered on the jewelry, doubled the mascara and headed to a prime location – our roof. We recruited (begged) one of our younger sisters to be our photographer. We all climbed onto the roof of our house and she snapped away with the camera.

Yes, a roof is a random place to do a photo shoot, but we did it there to get that perfect “modelesque” breeze to blow our hair just right. For each picture, we posed exactly the way we had seen the professional models do it with their lips puckered, one eyebrow raised, hand on hip, and serious eyes.

Without being told how to pose seductively, we were pros and knew exactly what to do. We proudly posted our photoshoot to Facebook and waited for the compliments to come in.

Seductiveness is the new norm. 

Sadly, we live in a culture that “trains” our minds to view seductiveness as the norm from a very young age. Just take a quick walk through the mall and you’ll see poster after poster featuring models striking a sexual pose. Since the invention of Pinterest, Instagram, and other apps sexualized images are in our faces more than ever before.

As Christian girls, we’re being bombarded by our culture’s message that seductive and sexual poses are cool, hip, and normal. Taking seductive selfies isn’t raunchy anymore…it’s acceptable and praised. Since we live in a fallen world it makes sense that our culture praises and encourages girls to act this way.

It makes sense that the supermodels and non-Christian girls don’t have a problem posting selfies like this.

The question I have for you is this: Why in the world are Christian girls posting seductive selfies??

I’m shocked sometimes when I get on my Instagram and see some of the sensual poses a few of my Christian friends are posting. What surprises me even more is the comments I read from other Christian friends who are complimenting these images and calling them “beautiful.” So what’s up with this? It seems like an epidemic over the past few years.

Why are Christian girls so fond of posting seductive selfies?

I know the answer to these questions because I used to be one of those girls. I used to be the girl behind the iPhone flip-phone snapping those seductive poses. I was the girl on the roof doing a photo shoot so I could show off the results to my friends.

For me, I posted those pictures because I wanted guys to notice me. I wanted people to compliment “how pretty I was.” I loved hearing the praise and affirmation from my friends. It was never an accident that I posted a picture of myself. It was always intentional and planned. I had seen enough images of fashion models to know what a “hot” picture was supposed to look like.

Many of you reading this blog know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve done the same thing.

The truth is, posting seductive selfies is just an outward symptom of a much deeper issue.

It’s a sign of a girl who is longing for something more. It’s a sign of a girl who is trying to fill up her affirmation tank through the praises and compliments of her friends. A girl who craves attention from guys and hopes they’ll notice one of her pictures. A girl who wants to appear confident, but is weak and lonely on the inside. A girl who enjoys seducing guys by making them “want what they can’t have.”

Seductive selfies are nothing more than an image that screams, “Look at ME!” They’re an opportunity to point the spotlight on yourself for a brief moment and hope that someone will notice.

As Christian girls, God calls us to a much higher standard than to play the seductive selfie game.

The whole purpose of our lives is to point others to Christ, not to ourselves. These types of photos are never Christ-centered, but are always self-centered. God calls us to live morally pure lives in every way. Posting seductive pictures of yourself isn’t promoting purity or holiness within the body of Christ.

Since that day on the roof, God has convicted me about the motivation and condition of my heart. Tell me if you think seductive selfies are okay according to Ephesians 5:1,3: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.”

What do you think?

First we’re called to be imitators (reflections) of God to the world around us. You and I are God’s children! We need to reflect the character and purity of our Father well. Second, we’re commanded to stay away from any form of sexual immorality and all impurity. did you catch that? “Any form…all impurity.”

Seductive selfies don’t stand a chance against these verses.

Our culture tells us that holiness and purity is lame, and that being too strict on yourself will lead to a life of boredom. If that’s the case, then why are so many girls lonely, sad, depressed, insecure and needy?

God gives us standards for purity and holiness because He knows it’s what’s best for us. True joy and contentment won’t come through the applause of your friends, it will only come through obeying and honoring God. “Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with their whole heart” (Psalm 119:1-2).

I know you want to be blessed by God. I sure do! Instead of striving after the empty applause of this world, strive for the fulfilling applause of your King.

You will never be happier than when you’re living your life for God’s glory.

As Christian girls we have a duty to honor our King in every area of our lives. We have a responsibility to bear the image of Christ to the lost world around us.

Will you join me in rejecting the trend of seductive selfies? Will you say no to posting self-glorifying pictures that put all of the attention on you?

Our world is in desperate need of Christian girls who are willing to stand up for God’s truth by displaying something far greater than themselves.

Let’s make it personal:

  • Are you guilty of posting seductive selfies? If so, what is your motivation behind posting them?
  • Are you willing to ask God’s forgiveness for not reflecting well on His image? If so, confess your sins and ask God to create a clean and pure heart inside of you.
  • What ways are you tempted to put the attention on yourself instead of God?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

For a follow up to this article, read my post called: Why Christian Girls Should Be Beautiful but Not Seductive

Disclaimer: The image used at the top of this blog is not what we would consider a “seductive selfie.” We chose not to publish a photo of a sensual/seductive girl for obvious reasons.

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Shandi Lee Girl posing by tree

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  • Heather

    Wow! Thank you sooo much for this!!!

  • Mama Baird

    Great post!

  • Lisa Hallahan

    This was awesome, Kristen! When I was about 15-16 I took selfies and posted them all the time. I think the reason I stopped was because I noticed it was trending with everyone else in the world, including celebrities. I am a pretty wildly stubborn girl and stopped taking selfies just to be different from everyone else. But until reading this article I didn’t know a good biblical reason of why I shouldn’t take selfies-other than the fact that they are not glorifying God. =) Thanks Kristen! Beautifully written…

  • Justin Dillehay

    Speaking as a man, I say, ‘Great post.’

    • Traci Miller

      Thank you Justin. If more men would speak out, girls would know what they really think of these actions. Females manifest their self esteem issues differently than men. They tend to think that having men make passes at them is a compliment, but what they don’t realize is that they attract the wrong kind of men. Girls remember, if you bait the hook with trash, you will attract the bottom feeders, as my husband says.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for chiming in Justin. It’s always great to hear from guys.

  • Alexis

    Beauty is much more than our appearance its a heart matter and reflected in every thing we say and do , God bless you .

  • Lois Ormsby

    Thank you for posting this! I thought I commented already – try again 😛 It’s nice to hear someone voice these concerns when so many keep them hidden inside them. I look forward to exploring your blog! ~Lois

  • Andrew Hermsen

    I agree with you. As a guy stand of view.

  • Julie c

    Very well said! The selfie thing always bothered me.

  • Christina

    Thank you for posting this! Definitely puts our hearts in check to answer, “Who are we pleasing here?”

  • Raine

    I think part of this is because we still define so much of a woman’s worth by her beauty. Even among Christians, it’s common for a woman to focus on making herself “wife material”, which includes being physically attractive, and it’s not uncommon to hear even men in ministry refer to their “smokin’ hot wife”.

    I don’t think most of the “seductive” pictures are even really meant to seduce, but more of a way to fish for compliments and try to affirm her own worth in the way she has been taught by society to find it – not in relation to her value as a child of God, but in relation to her appearance and worth to a future spouse. If it takes a seductive posr, well, that’s probably the type of photos all the Christian men in her life are liking and commenting on Facebook.

  • Guest

    Well said! I love how blunt you were in this! A lot of young girls need to read this as they are growing into young women!

  • Tami Nantz

    I think suggesting that – for instance – the selfie above is in and of itself “seductive” is ridiculous. What is in the girls HEART is more important, and suggesting that Christian girls taking selfies to seduce men is really stretching it. This legalism thing where we put what is in our own hearts on ALL Christians is exactly what is wrong with us and it’s why we are losing our kids. Do some Christian girls take selfies to seduce men? No doubt about that! Do some Christian girls just goof around with their friends and take innocent selfies for fun? Yep. That too. Assuming all Christian girls who take selfies are doing so to seduce a guy and show them “what they can’t have” is insulting and dead wrong. Perhaps that wasn’t the intent of the writer, but it sure left that impression with this mom. I pay close attention to the photos my daughter takes, and we talk often about them. She is a photographer, and her entire social life revolves around taking photos of friends and creating art. It’s not something she is doing to seduce, it is beautifully done and innocent.

    • Joshua

      We’re “losing” our kids, because the faith that is taught to them is superficial and lukewarm. If Christian teenagers were taught in the home to abhor the current culture and to center their lives around their Father and Creator, instead of trying to make following Christ “cool, fun, and hip”, then we wouldn’t see these issues. Instead, the trend of merging faith and a self-serving culture, the result is a bunch of people that are “fans” of Christ, not followers.

      • Tami Nantz

        Absolutely right, Joshua…and one way we are teaching them about being superficial and lukewarm is by putting our own hangups on them and calling an action like taking selfies a sin by assuming the taking of them is for purposes of seduction. Sometimes a girl is just being silly with her friends and taking pictures. Assuming her heart isn’t in the right place is doing exactly what you say. We need to be genuine with these kids, reach the HEART with Jesus and not always assume that actions are evil in and of themselves.

        • Sarah

          Tami, we all understand some pictures are just goofing off taking pictures. The point of this article is not that. It is the selfies that are taken specifically to be seductive. No where does she say selfies are seductive. She calls them specifically seductive selfies because she is referring to that specifically. Pictures that people take of themselves where they pose and try to act seductive.

          • Tami Nantz

            I was simply replying to the article as it was written. How the writer intended it may have been different.

      • Lisa Perry Rathbun

        There are many errors: one is trying to make following Christ “hip and cool”; another is trying to make it rigid and puritanical. The Bible warns us to not go off the path to the right OR to the left, implying that there are opposite yet equally wrong ways to deviate from truth.

        We also need to make sure that abhoring the current culture does not end up causing us to 1) assume the sin is “OUT THERE” somewhere and not also in our own hearts, 2) start hating other people involved in our culture or 3) judge other believers who may not see certain parts of our culture as sin in the same way we do. (I’m talking about extra-Biblical application here, not things like adultery that are clearly condemned in Scripture.)

        • Joshua

          To a point, I agree with most of your points, yet most holds no application to what I said at all (unless you view walking in the light rigid and puritanical), with exception to #3. People will use the Bible mainly as a source for justification of sinful living instead of a guide to righteousness, just to see how much they can get away with and still be called a “Christian”. I’ve seen it so many times its shameful… divorce, homosexuality, premarital relationships. People who want to live in sin will convince themselves one way or another its okay so they can have their cake and eat it to. Just because they make things subjective does not mean it really is. A walk with God is not a do and don’t list… It is a relationship. And I WILL hold my close brothers and sisters in Christ accountable if I think their relationship is not right. And if there are Christian girls out there that are taking seductive selfies and care more about how many likes they get on their Instagram than they care about how they present themselves before the Father, I pray someone close speaks to them and provides spiritual guidance, because here’s the truth: if they hear that wisdom but throw it away and do nothing about it, where is their heart? How exactly do they call themselves a follower of Christ if they don’t care about the following part? What separates them from the world?

    • whatever

      the picture above does not look like a “selfie” It looks like a professionally taken senior pic. Did not think “seductive” when I viewd it.

      • Tami Nantz

        neither did I, which was part of my point.

        • MtnGirl

          This was her comment at the end of her article: Disclaimer: The image used at the top of this blog
          is not what we would consider a “seductive selfie.” We chose not to
          publish a photo of a sensual/seductive girl for obvious reasons.

    • Laura

      Tami, she didn’t say “selfies are all seductive and bad.” The article is specifically about selfies that are meant to look seductive. And those are rampant among teenage girls and even older women. Although I would point out that there are now a number of psychology articles pointing to the destructiveness of the selfie fad in general. We aren’t meant to draw attention to ourselves and receive instant peer-review for it. It’s not healthy for one’s perspective of themself to be constantly looking for other peoples approval – dangerous, in fact. I appreciate this article for its addition to the conversation. When we’re in relationship with Jesus, we should be reflecting his image. Well said!

      • Tami Nantz

        I agree 100% that our relationship with Jesus should reflect HIS image and not our own. No question at all about that. I just read this article differently and took it to be asserting that Christian girls who take selfies are doing so for the reason of seduction. Sometimes they’re just having fun and to suggest otherwise is reading WAYYYY too much into an innocent photo.

        • Careena

          She did not say all selfies. She described the selfies of topic. Tu quoque? You are very defensive of selfies, but are not addressing the issue of seductive selfies (the topic). The author has a good point. The topic is not silly selfies. The topic is not all selfies. Just had a discussion with my 15 year old daughter over this. She has a couple friends who post at least a dozen a day. It is screaming insecurity.

          • Sarah

            I would say that Tami probably took it that way because of the picture posted at the top. I took it the same way as she did and I realized it is because the picture posted at the top of the article is NOT at all seductive to me. She isn’t making kissing faces, or putting her tongue out seductively or bearing unreasonable amounts of skin. It looks like a totally innocent self portrait. If it was actually intended to be seductive, I would say that they failed.

          • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

            Thanks for engaging in the conversation. Just so you know, the photo at the top of this post isn’t a seductive selfie. We purposely chose not to use a sensual photo for obvious reasons. The picture at the top just gives you the general idea.

          • MtnGirl

            This is why people must read the ENTIRE article.

          • Tami Nantz

            That is exactly why I initially responded…then I read the article and it didn’t match up with the example that was given at all.

    • VacaMorada

      hey tami, i see where you’re coming from but the author of the blog didn’t assume all Christian girls do this. it’s an observation. honestly, i’m glad somebody’s finally talking about it. it’s been like the elephant room because we don’t want to be “legalistic” or “hurt feelings,” but as a family in Christ, we need to encourage each other in truth and sometimes the truth gets on my nerves but i’ll take it because i want to grow in love for Him. His heart is what matters, way above ours.

      • Tami Nantz

        Truth is truth and I certainly am not arguing that it isn’t. There are girls that post selfies that ARE most definitely trying to be seductive…that, I know. There are plenty that are posted that aren’t. I’m a writer and I work in social media full time, so I see it constantly. What I understood from this article may not have been what the author intended, but it’s what came across via the way it was written and the photo example. It gave the impression that the beautiful photo attached to the article was an example of a seductive photo, and based on her explanation above, I see that wasn’t her intention.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Tami. The photo at the top of this blog is not a seductive selfie. We chose not to publish a sensual/seductive photo for obvious reasons. :) The topic of this blog is about “Christian girls who post seductive selfies.” It’s not about selfies in general, but selfies that look raunchy, seductive, and sensual. Any girl who is professing Christ as her Savior has to be wise about what she posts on the internet. As Christ followers, what we do outwardly directly reflects on our Savior’s image. We’re called to be a reflection of Christ to the lost world around us, so being wise and discerning is a must – and that includes every picture we take of ourselves.

      • Tami Nantz

        Thanks for explaining…the way I read it is that selfies are, in general, bad. If it’s strictly about seductive selfies…then we agree completely, but your photo example didn’t leave that impression at all, which was entirely the reason for my disagreement with it. I get that you wouldn’t want to post something provocative, but I would suggest using something a little less cute as the photo — or no photo at all — if you’re going to post it as an example. It gave the impression that the example is what you would consider a seductive photo, and it completely isn’t. Anyway, thanks for replying!

  • Anthony

    As a father with three daughters…loved it. Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to reblog it.

  • Sheryl Lynn

    Well said. Modesty seems to be a lost Christian virtue these days. When Christian women go int the mission field these days they are often given a “modest dress code” to follow. Yet in churches in this country anything goes :( Many Pastors do not want to offend anyone by telling them how to dress :( Now I am not speaking about a strict code like amish, Mennonites etc that specify color, sleeve length etc. Just good common sense modestly, no shorts and tanks (its not the beach) dresses (hey lets look like a girl) below knee length and no low necklines (the pastor and choir do not need to look down your neckline from their elevated position).

    • Sarah

      So I don’t look like a girl if I’m not wearing a dress? Don’t get me wrong I actually LOVE wearing dresses and skirts a lot of the time. But proposing that girls/women must wear a dress to church is in fact a strict dress code. I would even suggest that depending on the church saying no shorts is pretty restrictive too. Now, if you were to say no short shorts, or cleavage bearing tops, I’d agree, but I often wear shorts, (longer than my finger tips) to casual churches on regular church meetings (if it were a special occaison I would dress up more).

      • MtnGirl

        This is becoming a big issue in our church. I understand that you don’t want to give a dress code for visitors, etc., but I do wish our pastor had the courage to set a standard for anyone in leadership positions and those taking part in music, etc. Corporations, schools, the military (when in civilian dress) all have dress codes. Why is it anathema to have one for those leading/participating in our worship services?

  • hailsatan

    Hail Satan<3

    • Jonathan Lee

      Joh 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” JESUS

      Guess who the thief is…

      • kristen unielsen

        Jesus was not the messenger referred to in Torah. Jesus did not respect
        the law of God in Torah. Jesus insulted the Judah tribesmen (Pharisee) calling
        them hypocrites because of their Oral Laws. Jesus was justified because its
        forbidden to add to or remove laws from Torah. But Jesus added his own laws to
        Torah. See his divorce laws as example. Jesus was not the messenger/messiah and
        he was a hypocrite for adding his own laws and Jesus removed laws from Torah in
        the Jesus religion. Jesus did not speak the word of God, but the words man
        wanted to hear. Jesus died for his sins committed against God and Torah in The
        land of Israel. The same law exists for all eternity and those that hate God
        will surely die as Jesus did.

  • mom of teens

    I am a mom of 3 teen girls. We have had this issue come up in our lives, too, and even closed one of our daughters FB pages due to selfies that in our opinion communicated the very things you mention . . . yes, it seems to be due to the bombarding culture, what is hip and what is not, which does throw taudriness and seductiveness at us at every turn. It can become a battle for parents. Girls are led to believe a normal candid shot or pic with the family is ”dated” and cheesy, yet they will take photo afer photo in the model poses with vacant eyes (which can be indicative at least on the outside of shallow/empty lives). I think you are correct in your explanation of why Christian girls today take selfies . . . and, yet, there is truth, too, in the fact that styles of photos have changed a bit over the past decade or so to the point where girls may not really be trying to exhibit themselves in a sexual way . . . (most probably are seeking attention, yet, but others may just not be “thinking” if that make sense). Not thinking with a Christ-centered mind toward inner beauty rather than just outer world-defined “beauty” is of course just as much a problem. Taudry and sensuous has become the norm in clothing as well as photo styles . . . We need lots of young women like yourself communicating that there can be stylish differences (from the crazy 80s, for instance) without this tending toward sensual photo posing or suggestive dres. Even with all the modesty blogs, etc there is SUCH a firehose of the other that we will need much more bibilical amunition and the power of the Spirit in hearts and minds to fight the battles ahead. These are tough times.

    • Mom2boys

      As a mom to only boys:-) I appreciate parents
      Who will be proactive and teach their daughters
      To cherish themselves and keep themselves for
      Eyes of the one God has for them and truly how
      Much better things will be without all the unneeded
      Baggage the world brings. It’s tough teaching
      My boys to constantly “look at the trees” to guard
      Their eyes and keep their mind pure with all the
      Skin that is typical today.

  • LadyMaes

    What gets me is grown women who are constantly posting their profile pictures with low cut shirts and massive cleavage showing. It makes me sigh and shake my head. I’m a skirt wearer and the skimpiest top I have IS a tank top. As a matter of fact I’m wearing it right now because it’s supposed to be in the 90s. I’m also not going anywhere today and am in the privacy of my own home. Going out? I would put a blouse over it. Yes, modesty is VERY important in our family.

  • Ryan Rodgers

    I agree from a guys POV. I never found it attractive, I always think of insecurity when I see pics like that! Very well put!

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for sharing Ryan! It’s great hearing from guys on topics like this.

  • Katie Kruger

    I’ve seen Christian guys also posting ‘beef cake’ selfies. Same applies.

    • Cindy Baker Stevens

      Agree Katie, but c’mon. We all know that men are more visual than women. That’s not being sexist, that’s how God created us! The verses in the Bible concerning modesty are directed primarily at women and for a reason.

      • Dean

        So they get a pass then? Stop making excuses for men, they have as mush responsibility in this as women.

        • Cindy Baker Stevens

          Not at all Dean. The laws of morality apply to men and women a like. I was simply pointing out the obvious differences between the way men and women respond visually. Don’t worry, I don’t give excuses for men to pose seductively or lust after women. There are plenty of verses on that subject also.

      • Katie Kruger

        Perhaps you misunderstood my point. I am in full agreement with the article. I simply made the observation that males engage in the same inappropriate way. If they are Christian young men they ought not to be putting their half naked bodies online either. Not all females are immune to the male physique. However sexy photos are not only about tempting our neighbor, it is about respecting oneself and honoring God in your body. Both male and female are called to do so.

      • MtnGirl

        And yet hardly anyone want to admit that these days–that men are much more visual as a rule. I read a blog recently from a woman who basically was mocking modesty by directing an entire article to men in suits and how that makes her sin. It was sad the number of “likes” she got for that. There’s this huge movement to put all the blame on the guys (for thinking impure thoughts) while giving the girls a pass to dress however they want–seductive clothing and all. As the mother of three grown sons, I find this deeply disturbing.. Yes, men are responsible for guarding their hearts, but why can’t we, as Christian women, help our brothers in this matter??

  • A Young Lady

    I have to admit that I am guilty of posting pictures of myself, not so much very seductive, but that gained compliments and “likes” from my friends. I know that I shouldn’t look to the world for my ultimate satisfaction, but I should be looking to God instead because he made me and loves me even if no one else does. Thank you for your blog post and for being honest in it about your own struggle. God bless you and stay strong! :)

  • Cheryl

    Seduction is more the responsibility of the beholder. While I am for modesty, I think we could easily go down the twisted road of legalism with some of this opinion. And it truly is opinion. Modesty of heart is more important than physical covering. It’s about changing our perspectives and ideas, not always making sure our hem lines are low and our necklines are high. Do I think it’s better to leave things to the imagination when dressing myself or my girls? Absolutely, but I also know that this fallen world will distort any innocence I try to maintain. I still try. I think modesty is definitely something to consider when posting anything, but this type of vigilance toward Christ-likeness misses the point and endangers some of stripping themselves of the unique gender qualities. Women have shape, alluring eyes, and soft skin, all things Creator God gave us to enjoy as female and to gift to our mates (if so chosen to be married). If we preach modesty too harshly we can crush the hearts of girls that already have body image issues. To them, suddenly it’s sinful to have breasts and hips unless they are well cloaked in blousing garments, but those same clothes makes us feel fat or heavy and it’s truly a sin to be gluttonous. I respect you for posting this article. I actually like it. I just wonder sometimes who takes it too far and what damage has been done to sensitive hearts.

    • Emily Cole

      “Modesty of the heart” CAUSES modesty on the outside.

      • Cheryl

        I didn’t say it didn’t. I absolutely agree it does. I do think some people’s definition of outward modesty is bit beyond practicality and point.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for your feedback Cheryl. We agree that every person is “responsible” for whether or not they’re going to be seduced. However, Christian girls who profess to follow Christ need to be wiser than to publicly post seductive photos. We’re not talking about married women who privately seduce their husband here…we’re talking about single girls who publicly post sensual images of themselves. These kind of photos reflect more of a Proverbs 7 kind of woman which is what we’re called not to be like. Legalism is when someone makes up a list of rules that are not clearly defined in the Bible and tells everyone else to abide by them. Exhortation is when a fellow Christian encourages other believers to live out their lives according to Biblical principles. Everything we do matters. Our actions will either reflect positively or negatively on our Savior’s image.

      • Cindy Baker Stevens

        Excellent answer! People get caught up with the “legalism” label without really understanding what it means. Thank you for putting it so eloquently.

      • Cheryl

        Proverbs 7 is not about an actual woman, it is how wisdom is a lady of elegant nobility and how foolishness is a harlot that allures a young mind into the ways of destruction. Just like Proverbs 31 isn’t a charge for women to aspire to, but a blessing affirmation for a bride as though she already was. Legalism is also taking to or three verses that agree with a stance and saying “thus saith the Lord” about it. Modesty of heart is clearly defined in the Bible. How that modesty manifests in cultural scenarios not so much. Do understand that I am agreement with young women being careful of how they present themselves, but I am also for shepherding in love, not for scoffing scolds, which I think the latter part of your article tends to come across as.

  • VacaMorada

    i think this goes not just for girls but guys too. well-said.

  • anonymous

    What is on the inside shows up on the outside. If we have a seductive spirit, we will dress in this way. The question is not how much can I take off. The question is not how closely can I model the world without “stepping over the line. If these questions are in your heart, then you need to examine yourself. Why would a christian want to be so much like the world? They don’t want to be made fun of. They want to fit in and be accepted. They have swallowed the lie that modesty is not “cute”. Modest people do not know how to have fun. I am here to tell you this is a big lie that the devil has fashioned to keep us from being Holy in the site of God “Be ye holy as I am holy. Would God be pleased with your dress if he was standing before you? Realize this friends, he is. He sees all that you do and knows all that you think. Do we want to please the world? Or do we want to please our heavenly father, who sent his only Son to die for our sins? Do you honestly think that you can stand and witness to a young man with cleavage showing, or your thighs? What is he concentrating on as you speak? Certainly not the scriptures. Many have used the term “legalism” to hide behind for their sins. It is another lie of the devil. If we base how we dress on our love for the Lord and not what people think of us, we will be blessed, and free. Free from worry about what we might be showing off, freedom from causing many men to sin. God made men to look. It is how they are stimulated. Godly men look away, focus on other things. If they are doing this, it is another indicator that you are not being modest before the Lord. Thank you for posting this!!

  • Lois Pettit

    I have always believed a girl….lady always looks much more feminine, and desirable with less flesh showing with a pretty covering dress, shirt or blouse. Tight clothes are also a deterrent to beauty. (Seeing what looks like pants that have been painted on is not attractive)That leaves out short skirts. How does a Christian girl make a good witness in a skirt twelve(or less) inches long. What bending or sitting can be done with decency ? If a Christian girl is going to post selfies and wants attention paid wouldn’t she stand out much more dressed in nice feminine dress. No cleavage or extra flesh showing? It wasn’t always that girls bared their bodies for attention. My daughters graduation pics could be beautiful selfies if she had taken them. Why the preoccupation with the flesh. A Christian needs to be different from the world….or will become part of it. Be a follower of Christ not the world.

    • Concerned Name

      I totally got what you were trying to say with this blog post. You are spot on. I have thought this many times with not just any Christian posting how nice the seductive or inappropriate picture was but also her Youth Pastor!

  • jason alan catizone

    to any sisters reading this, grace and peace to you. as an unmarried brother in The Lord, i wish to encourage you to let the beauty that you radiate be that of a girl in love with Jesus. be revolutionary, in this world that exalts the flesh: follow and imitate The Lord. Scripture speaks of dressing modestly, and i can say that we guys who follow Christ wish you knew how hard it is to – have to stare at the ground while waiting in the check-out line ‘cos of the magazine covers, have to purposefully look away when just walking down the street in warmer weather due to how many girls choose to dress, have to not want to go to the swimming pool or beach because of how many people are wearing next to nothing. it is hard enough daily having to turn our eyes elsewhere in our day to day lives; please don’t make us have to do the same thing when we enter the assembly of the saints, the one place which should be a haven and refuge for us all. we are not advocating burqas. we are not saying ‘no make-up.’ we are not saying ‘sleeves past your hands and dresses past your feet.’ we realize we are tempted; we just wish to convey to you the blessing we would feel if we could come to youth group, Bible studies, church meetings, etc., and not see our sisters in The Lord (under)dressed like the girls of the world are. yes, skin tight and skimpy clothing will get you attention, but trust us, your brothers in The Lord – it will not be good attention that guys will give you. we know that you are bombarded over and over to follow the fashion of this world, and we don’t pretend to understand the pressure you must feel day in and day out. but we exhort and encourage you – rebel! BE different. and we know that there are not many good guys out there; we don’t claim to be perfect ourselves, but we know there is a difference between those who serve The Lord and those who don’t, and we know that there are not many single guys serving The Lord. but just wait, and honor The Lord in your daily walk, and as i read somewhere, ‘run after Jesus as fast as you can and if someone catches up to you, introduce yourself.’ we are endeavoring to do that in our own lives, and Good Lord willing, He will bless us all to find our spouses in this way. in closing, i wish to share the following with you. now in my life, desiring to walk in purity and follow Jesus, do you want to know the girls i find get my attention? the girls who DON’T dress the way most other girls do. a good while back, i was waiting for a bus downtown, and there were lots of people underdressed. trust us, as servants of Christ, we try to divert our eyes and just stare at our iPods or whatever. but there was one girl waiting for a bus there too who caught my attention, and i found myself amazed in a sense. i don’t know who she was or what her faith may or may not be, but she caught my attention because she was not only pretty, but dressed very unlike many. she had a long skirt, sandals i think, and a shirt that was not calling attention to how she was built. she did not look like some vintage style from the early 1900s; though dressed conservatively, her clothing was simple but not drab, and she looked modern, yet not ‘modern’ in the sense of skimpy. and i found myself noticing her, not in a lustful kind of way, but in the way one might look at the sky and just notice, ‘wow, that’s a pretty sky.’ and i found myself thinking, ‘wow, THAT girl is good looking.’ and it was such a blessing to me, to see that there are indeed still girls who don’t choose to dress the way society pressures them to. i don’t know anything about her really, but the girl rebel on the street that night – was her. she radiated a kind of beauty and confidence that i cannot just put into words. and i would argue that other brothers in The Lord who were still single who may have been there that night would also have found themselves paying attention to her, and specifically NOT paying attention to the girls who were underdressed. who was paying attention to the girls dressed revealingly? the worldly guys, of course. the girls who dress like this world will get the attention of the guys who live like this world. the sisters who dress in ways that honor their King will get the attention of their brothers who also follow The King. re-BEL against this world’s system! BE different! de-FY the ‘values’ that this alien land exalts! you will not find yourself in much company. but we, your brothers in The Lord, also realize that we often find ourselves in not much company either. it is a lonely walk for us all, married or unmarried – for most around us do not love our King like you and i do. and may we ourselves love Him more and more! so you will not be in great company, as you sojourn down here. but you have the fellowship of Christ, and that is more than sufficient. and as you run after Jesus with all you’ve got, you may notice some of us doing the same. and it just may be that He blesses the both of us to introduce ourselves.

    • Lovaine

      Wow! That was an amazing comment, so well put, especially from a young mans perspective. Thank you for your honesty. I personally think selfies in themselves are exactly that ‘selfish’. Why feel the need to post a picture of yourself anyway? Even if you are dressed modestly and just standing there posing? Why feel the need to do it? I understand it’s the latest thing for young ones to do and at that age they are like sheep following each other. I really believe they are looking for affirmation on their appearance, approval of how they look. This day and age everyone is on social media “following” each other when the only one we should be following is Christ!

    • TheArtofChivalry

      Wow! Probably best comment I have ever read. As a mom of a young teen girl who battles this type of self-image stuff in middle school every day, I am not only printing this great article but also your comment. Thank you for being brave and honest enough to share the “guy” point of view.

      • jason alan catizone

        praise The Lord that it blessed you, and may it help encourage your daughter as well! God bless you as you raise her in the ways of The Lord.
        we, both guys and girls, so often just want to be like others – be ‘normal’… failing to realize that, as Vance Havner put it, ‘normal’ is only the worst of the best and the best of the worst. and who wants that?
        our God calls us to be AB-normal, because we are.
        the real way to be different – to be a revolutionary – in this crooked and perverse generation…
        is to follow Jesus.

  • Audrey Parks

    I feel like now we are over spiritualizing this issue. I understand the point the writer is making here. Honestly Jesus is the solution to this issue. Not abstaining from taking seductive selfies….That will come from spiritual maturity as Jesus shapes one’s heart. Dont turn people away from sin, turn them toward jesus he can take care of it. A article making a girl feel guilty for something that may not even be a sin can’t.

    • Sam

      I completely disagree. Repentance by definition is turning from sin to the Savior. A person cannot just turn to Jesus. Both must happen. And posting seductive selfies…
      1. feeds the lustful appetites
      2. creates a stumbling block for guys (we already have enough trouble battling that…we don’t need more seduction)
      3. propagates a wrong image of what Christ has done in our lives
      4. makes it about “me” and not about the Lord

      • Audrey Parks

        You misunderstood me. Im saying Jesus calls us to repent. Repentance without Jesus is mere behavior modification. Thats what I’m getting at. We are making the sin a bigger problem than not chasing jesus.

    • Cheryl

      I like this Audrey. “Shame on you for post pictures that could be interpreted as seductive! Repent and be sorrowful for your sins!” Or at least that is what the last little bit came across to me as. Really? Shame on us for judging some girls that don’t get adequate human love and affirmation and don’t really understand any better that to seek it. How about be a mentoring mother type instead of shaking a finger?

      • Evelyn

        I think you hit the nail on the head right there: girls who don’t get adequate love and affirmation. My pastor once told me that sin is an illicit response to a perfectly legitimate need, and if we just try to stop the sin (or inappropriate behavior that maybe isn’t sin), we’re putting a bandaid on rather than solving the real problem.

    • JenL

      I think the point of the article is to bring the behavior to light as it is an indicator of a larger problem (i.e. not chasing Jesus). The whole article is about why do CHRISTIAN girls engage in this behavior. Yes, Jesus is the solution to every issue. But part of spiritual maturity is learning things from those that have already faced a certain lesson. The Bible tells the younger to glean wisdom from the older. Part of growing spiritually is hearing something like this and instead of saying it is being over-spiritualized, is to say “Lord, is this a valid concern? Is there anything to this that you might be trying to teach me?”. A teachable spirit is how we grow. Jesus can’t shape a heart that won’t examine itself. Maturity doesn’t happen on it’s own. Again, I think the point of the article isn’t ” shame on you, let’s turn girls away from sexy selfies”. It’s “WHY are Christian girls doing it?”. And the second question turns you to Christ when you honestly answer it. We can so easily become desensitized to things, that articles like this are a good heart check.

      You say that this is something that may not even be a sin….yes it can be. As females, we need to be starkly honest with ourselves. If we post pictures of ourselves (and their doesn’t have to be skin for them to be seductive) with the “hope” that they will catch a guy’s eye or we will be complimented, then what are we doing? We are enticing others…and yes that is a sin. It may seem like that is going overboard spiritually, but it’s really stripping behavior down to it’s root intent. There are waaaayyy more things that we do with pride and lust at the root than you can ever imagine until we hold a mirror up to our behavior on a regular basis. Spiritual maturity taught me that.

  • Arlen Stevens

    It is matter of the heart!!! Christians that are being conformed to the world and it’s philosophy are going to oppose this kind of message. They are not going to see anything wrong with self-centered attention, mainly because the world is influencing them so much to the point that they are numb to sin; and Christians that really want to please God are going to praise the Lord for what you wrote. In the end it is a matter of the heart!!!

    • Cassie

      Is a person actually self-centered if they enjoy affirmation? If I recall, affirmation is one of the love languages. It can be used to build someone up. What is wrong about that? On a related note, why is it inherently immoral to be self-centered in isolated instances anyway? I’d like to know your thoughts.

      • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

        Great questions Arlen. In the Bible we’re called to encourage one another, build one another up, help each other, etc. but always for the purpose of glorifying God in the end. Instead of giving someone affirmation for the purpose of glorifying the person, we should strive to use our affirmation to point them back to Christ. Self-centeredness is never encouraged in the Bible. We’re called to be Christ-centered and others focused because the whole purpose of our lives is to bring glory to God.

      • Evelyn

        I agree, Cassie. I think that the need for affirmation is totally legitimate, and not necessarily an indication of self-centeredness. If the need is filled appropriately by loving family and friends, then it doesn’t turn into desperation, and I think that’s where the self-centeredness probably appears–when there is a certain desperation for approval that isn’t coming and they feel like they need to perform or go out and get it.

      • Arlen Stevens

        Look I am being honest, I have been guilty of this too, don’t get me wrong!!! but I agree with her view because she is right!!!! enough with this worldly mentality, lukewarm Christianity, that makes us live in defeat every single day because of our lack of commitment to God. We need to be sold out for God; we need to be real. If God is calling us to live Holy lives. Does that picture seen Holy to you? Do any provocative selfies seem Holy to you?

        • Cassie

          It’s irrelevant how it seems to me. It’s also irrelevant how it seems to you. Our place is not to make assumptions about intentions. You know what they say about assuming…

  • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

    So we are saying that the above picture is seductive why? It doesn’t appear to be sexual in nature, the girl seems to be fully dressed. There’s no cleavage, midriff, glutes, or legs, and she isn’t doing anything crazy with her lips. I can’t agree more with Audrey’s post. Maybe as Christians we should judge less and perhaps examine our intentions. While we’re at it, maybe it would be helpful to remember that we don’t really have any record of Jesus shaming anyone for their sin.

    • Valerie

      I don’t think the author is trying to shame anyone. She’s calling girls to represent the King.

      • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

        Well I take it all back then.

    • Drennen

      Who ever said that it was a seductive photo? This post is aimed at young women, teenagers. And on a Christian post, we should not expose the faults in others for all to see. That’s very inappropriate.

      • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

        I was probably wrongfully assuming that since the whole article was about seductive selfies that they were using the top one as an example.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Josh, the photo from above is not a seductive selfie…we didn’t want to publish a sensual photo for obvious reasons. :) And yes, as Valerie said below, the point of this post is to challenge Christians girls to represent our King WELL.

      • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

        Very cool. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

    • chris

      Josh you dont get it,,,

    • http://www.GodProvidesHealth.com JuicePlusGirl

      No one said anything about the above picture being seductive…people need to learn to read all the way through, and read for understanding, not skim with prejudice, and offense…

      • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

        Well, I did read it through but again, sorry for the misunderstanding.

        • http://www.GodProvidesHealth.com JuicePlusGirl

          I must add, and agree, that from the graphic design point of view, the choice of that picture is not a good one… pictures should convey something about the material. I understand not using an explicit selfie, as a graphic… then use something else, funny or otherwise…or make a graphic with just words! Pictures do convey a thousand words, and it is confusing to have that picture there…just a thought!

    • MtnGirl

      He was pretty hard on the Pharisees…

      • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

        Well that’s true, but I don’t think the Pharisees would be compared to the selfie takers in this situation.

        • MtnGirl

          I realize that. You said that we don’t have a record of Jesus shaming anyone for their sin, and it was to that I responded.

        • MtnGirl

          I wasn’t comparing selfies to the Pharisees. I was responding to your
          statement that “we don’t really have any record of Jesus shaming anyone
          for their sin.” That’s the only reason I made that comment. I was giving
          you an example of a time when Jesus did shame someone for their sin.
          Again, my comment had nothing to do with this selfie discussion.

  • Megan Gonzalez

    I love what u had to say here :). I totally agree with you and girls… You really don’t need attention… Do something better then selfies like photographs of nature and you as a baby or something.. There is no need whatsoever to show yourself off. If someone lives you they will pay attention to you without the glamor and clothes. Just be you and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because really… Makeup and crude clothing are just covering up the real you so he proud of who you are and other people who tell you you are ugly are sadly mistaken. I mean come on… God made you in His image. He is perfect so therefore the you He created is perfect… But your personality though… Sin can corrupt that… You need to just let God take care of you and let your sinful nature go. What is the point of sinning? It’s to gain something you want. But you are just going to lose it all when you die. So what’s the point?Please think about this.

    • Valerie

      Great comments, Megan!

      • Megan Gonzalez

        Thank you… I accidentally misspelled some words though… Ha ha who cares

  • Valerie

    I’m not sure we know what each girl’s intention is who post seductive selfies. The Lord knows each heart. But I think the author felt convicted and needed to share this. Why is it that in our culture, we condemn anything that appears to “judge” anything or anyone? I understand some of the article may seem a bit harsh in tone. But I think the author’s trying to get to the heart of the matter. Even amongst Christians, we’re not supposed to “judge” others; we are hypervigilant in our culture about not judging people. I think the author is trying to send out a call for holiness. It disturbs me that people want to judge the author for “judging” others.

    • ThoughtfullyConservative

      I appreciate the fact that you are supporting the author. I would like to offer this to you, though. The Bible instructs both believers and nonbelievers on judging others, and I would encourage you to study these various instructions. The instruction that I think particularly applies here is

      1 Corinthians 5 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

      Immorality Rebuked

      9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But [f]actually, I wrote to you not to associate [g]with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God [h]judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.
      In other words, believers who know one another are to “pass judgment” on those who claim to be believers. Even typing that makes me cringe at how it will sound to others because I don’t want to be accused of judging anymore than anyone else does. But the Bible is clear on this point. I would encourage you to study the Bible’s other instructions regarding how to approach a fellow believer with whom you have a problem so that you have a more complete picture of what Christ expects of his followers.

  • Sarah Lynn Talo

    Thank you so much for this. I have daughters that struggle with fitting in. I had to tell one she could only post two a month. Then an older man told her how much he liked her selfies… and she stopped. He said it in a very sensual way and that ended that. So young girls, it’s not only young men looking at your picture, there are also old men looking!

  • Sandra Miano Wilson

    This article is ” Beautiful”! Thank you!

  • sun and flowers child (male )

    the foto there doesn’t seem so sexual shess juat ahowing her face in a look way is this supposed tp xapture the self intendrd concept of the article

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      The photo from above is not a seductive selfie…we didn’t want to publish a sensual photo for obvious reasons. :)

      • sun and flowers child (male )

        yea i umm am currebtly waitin on wife i loblved the article i live for purity i love for the messiah

        • sun and flowers child (male )

          loved*

      • sun and flowers child (male )

        and i meant self intended as in relation to what you wrote about saying girls doing the selfies for like attention etc..

  • Jeremy Wroten

    no one needs to feel guilt or ask forgiveness or feel that they have sinned….it’s these type of judgements that make people look for “more”. Stick with the positives. Why do we still think negatives are the way to make people change? Because we think we can change people. We need to stop worrying about that and just put the good out there so that individuals can absorb it if they desire; anything else just adds to the stress and negativity of this world.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      As Christians we’re actually called to exhort one another in our spiritual growth. “The word most often translated “exhort” or “exhortation” comes from the Greek word paraklésis, which means “to call to one’s side; to summon, encourage, admonish, entreat (http://bit.ly/1qOL0CV).” If we never challenged each other’s choices, the Christian walk would be a free-for-all.

    • BA Bridges

      We have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. There is only one and true Judge, and He will judge us all (you and me). Speaking blessing and life is good. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Only two things can change a person’s heart 1) proactive personal change or 2) The All Mighty. We haven’t been to worried about sin in this Sodom and Gomorrah country in which we live. Legal murder of 55M unborn babies is a pretty unsavory start to the judgement we deserve as a nation. Doing what is right in our own eyes doesn’t turn out very well, read I and II Kings.

  • Jan Byler

    The bottom line is this… There is no sensuality in Christ. Do you want to be like HIM or not???

  • BL

    Great article. I’m so grateful for your written perspective. As a makeup artist in NYC, I am constantly surrounded by the “seductive selfies” even from professed women of the faith. Thank you for the bold and graceful reminder of the standard we are called to and the joy and blessing that comes from it!

  • Morgan

    I evidently misunderstood as well. With that picture as the header, your article came across as very legalistic and antiquated as though any selfie or picture of yourself alone is sinful and customizing to God, and that’s simply not the case. You might want to reconsider that top image. Either put an example of what you mean or not have a picture in the first place. Having a perfectly beautiful picture of a beautiful lady up there and seemingly calling it sinful isn’t getting you anywhere & to be honest, it offended me until I read the comments.

    • ThoughtfullyConservative

      Did you read the statement at the end of the article regarding the author’s opinion of that picture?

      • Morgan

        I’m pretty sure that was added after my comment. Thanks, though. My point still stands as if it was there before, it was small and drowned out by everything else.

        • ThoughtfullyConservative

          Respectfully, not if a person knows how to read a complete post.

          • Morgan

            You can keep your assumptions. I read the complete post. As I said, I’m almost certain the disclaimer was added after the author was called out on the discrepancy several times.

  • Nott2b

    As a mother of both a son and a daughter, I understand from both sides. First, I want to protect my son’s eyes from looking and thinking impure thoughts about a young woman who is not his wife. Second, I don’t want my daughter to be the cause of impure thoughts. This article puts beautifully into words why I don’t let my daughter post selfies and why I am always telling her to stop the pouty look or get your hand off your waist, etc. ! I was a model before I was saved and it was always suppose to be a look to “bait” men. Thank you….I am printing this and putting on her bedroom wall:)!

    • Dean

      How about training your son to have self control? Why is it always the girls fault? Your daughter is not the “cause” of impure thoughts, human nature is. You are doing a disservice to your daughter by raising her to think that everything is her fault. I can say this, I grew up that way.

      • ThoughtfullyConservative

        Since this is a Christian author writing to other Christians, I think it’s fair to allow the Bible to be the authority here:

        1 Corinthians 8:12-13New American Standard Bible (NASB)

        12 And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.

        While this verse is particularly about food, the broader concept can be applied to clothing, actions, etc. So yes, one person can cause another to stumble into sin.

        • ashley

          Perfect. Let’s perpetuate rape culture and teach victims they are responsible for other people’s crimes. By this logic I shouldn’t walk down the street, bc I might cause a rapist to attack me.

  • storie

    Thank you for this article.
    The point that we are representatives of the King is of Paramount importance and I am having to be a ‘bull dog’ in teaching my daughters what virtue and purity is…….AND how it looks.
    I remember my dad saying to me….. ‘beauty is as beauty does’. I didnt fully understand it until I was grown but I always remembered those words.
    We are absolutely responsible for how we carry ourselves and what our conduct of life is in front of sinners.

  • Andy

    Proverbs 11:22 KJB: “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”

  • SBW

    Thank you for writing this and posting it! I’m very encouraged to know that I am not the only one who feels this way about seductive selfies! It’s a conviction I’ve had, and so glad to see someone else does too!

  • Janet L Perez

    Sorry but I have to put my two scents in, by whose standards? By God? Or the church? Do they they expect long skirts and pig tails? You can’t be Gay, and you can’t look pretty?

    • Tessa

      God says you can’t be gay, it’s recorded in the Bible. God made each one of us beautiful, certain beauty is to be saved for our husband. We are not to “cause another to fall”, that’s also in His Word.

      • Janet L Perez

        The bible also contradicts itself, new and Old Testament, do you know people are born gay? Why did god make Gays if he wasn’t going to love them ignorance is a virtue

        • Chris

          God made gays? Now that is a truly ignorant statement.

        • Maygan

          If we use the Bible, homosexuality is a sin. It’s not that people are born gay, it is the fact that everyone is born a sinner. I myself have the capacity to be a homosexual, just like I have the capacity to be a liar, a thief, a murderer, a hypocrite, etc. In essence, we are all born gay. There are certain people who are more drawn to that lifestyle, but that doesn’t make it okay. That would be like saying “Well I’m a pathological liar I just can’t stop so why is it wrong? I love doing it.”
          As for contradictions, I don’t believe those exist. Context is a big factor. Another factor to consider is that rules given in the Old Testament are not in effect anymore because as New Testament Christians we are under grace. Good works are still very important that others may see our faith, but we can wear clothes of mixed materials and eat “unclean” meat.

          • BA Bridges

            OK, following your argument, God’s instructions to His children (the Torah or Books of Moses) are no longer in effect. Then according to your understanding, there is no more sin, right? If this is true, then you would have to agree with Janet’s statement. We are saved by grace through faith, but we prove our love to our Father through obedience to His instructions in righteousness (the Torah – which defines sin). Just as Jesus said, if you love me you will keep my commandments (He and the Father are one, so what was He talking about?). Maybe loving God with all you heart, soul, and strength (how is this proven – by keeping His commandments). Matt 5:17-18 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law (Torah) and the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one jot or tittle will pass from the Law (Torah) until all is accomplished. One question, have heaven and earth passed away? Re-read Acts 10 and 11, was God telling Peter that unclean foods were OK to eat or that the unclean Gentiles (according to the teaching of the Pharisees) were worthy of the Gospel. I am glad it was the second one instead of a pork sandwich. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the perfect one, we are the ones that want to change the message that was the same from the garden to the revelation. Repent, turn from your wicked ways, and follow Him. Instead of asking ourselves What Would Jesus Do (WWJD), we should Do What Jesus Did (DWJD) and walk in righteousness.

          • Maygan

            I can see the hole I created for myself in my argument. However, sin is defined in the New Testament as well. I am convicted by passages that tell me “To him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin” and “Without faith it is impossible to please him” The New Testament says we are under grace, and grace is above the law. As a New Testament Christian, people should see my life and know that I’m a Christian not because I obey a bunch of rules but because my life so vividly displays Christ.
            I do believe that the Old Testament is just as much inspired by God as it always has been. I don’t go around disgracing the 10 commandments just because I don’t believe I’m bound to that standard. The point I’m trying to make I guess is that obeying the 10 commandments or the other laws of the OT won’t get me to Heaven, nor will it help others get there. The only way to get to Heaven is to put your faith in the work Jesus did on the cross and believe He rose again and will accept anybody who believes that. The only way I can help others get to Heaven is by telling them about Him.
            The way I see it, it’s less about what I don’t do that’s bad and more about the good I do to proclaim Him to the world. Again, I don’t believe this is a license to sin. I’m not condoning wrong behavior; rather, I am encouraging right behavior.

        • Tessa

          Can you please provide scripture that states that God created someone gay. He created us man and woman, to procreate. I think 2 men, or 2 women cannot CREATE a life on their own.

        • BA Bridges

          People are “born gay” via the generational curses of their forefathers or mothers (back to the 4th generation), not via God’s plan. Otherwise, two men or two women could procreate and you would see homosexuals procreating throughout nature. If your interpretation of any part of the scripture contradicts another part, your interpretation is incorrect not the scripture. God hates sin but loves the sinner, because He is holy and righteous and can’t be in the presence of sin (or us went we are covered with it). I could make the argument that I was born a lying, cheating, adulterous, murderer, and claim that God made me that way and He couldn’t possibly judge me for committing those sins. But I would be lying to myself and everyone else. If you say that you love God with all your heart, then prove it by your obedience instead of claiming sin is good because you like it so much.

          • http://www.GodProvidesHealth.com JuicePlusGirl

            Beautifully said, BA Bridges!!

          • Gloria Jared

            Dear adult christian women you have dropped your standards why should your children not follow right behind you???!!! You bring your godly teenage daughters to churches where they get up and sing to God in bedroom voices, Dress the way they want and the conversations after sure are NOT about God…..Sorry but your actions shout and your voice is a whisper amidst the noise!!!

  • mea

    Not all selfies are seductive. Just be smart and use common sense. Pants are not of the devil and if a woman doesn’t have hair down to her feet, if she has believed in the Lord, she will still get into heaven. There is modesty and there is legalism. Scripture speaks highly about modesty and not so highly about legalism.

  • jason

    Fact: Every time a girl takes one of those obnoxious selfies, God kills a kitten.

  • jason

    Selfies do not have to be seductive to be self-centered. Girls (mainly) have become obsessed with themselves and feel the need to gain affirmation from friends and boys. Even the pictures where they are making an “ironic” goofy face, or eating a sandwich, or a “duck face”, etc. they are all taken with the same intention. Not trying to be legalistic here, honestly. My main beef is that it is extremely annoying and it is so obvious they are craving attention.

    • Chelsea

      Oh Lord, and guys don’t do the same thing posting pictures of themselves in the gym? Really? Yeah let’s call girls posting fun, goofy pictures as annoying, that’ll make them change

  • Tessa

    Well said. Though, I do see the top photo as a bit seductive, definitely not innocent. Smile already, be a fun-loving girl! There doesn’t have to be cleavage or short hemlines to be drawing “the wrong” attention. And I think the basis of this article (biblical base) is to not draw ANY attention to oneself.

    • Morgan

      …Really?
      So if I’m not saying “cheese” in every picture, I’m inviting lust? Please, continue to tell us how perfect you are.

      • Tessa

        “And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ” ~Phil 1:6
        I am so far from perfect, yet He continues to convict me of new things that do not honor Him.
        Married, mother of 3, and 4Osomething. I was always the “average girl” of this world, vying for attention, unknowingly, “innocently”, trying to get male attention. No one told me, I never knew, never understood what I was doing. Now I know. I want my daughters to know. I want my actions to honor the Most High.
        Sometimes, people who dispute something the most, is because they are being convicted, but refuse to submit

        • Morgan

          And sometimes they’re just calling out a Pharisee when they see one. Art in photography doesn’t always include a smile. The message of some pictures don’t include cheesy grins. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. A lot of Victoria’s Secret models flash the biggest smiles… so does that mean they’re not being seductive dressed in nothing but lingerie? Your argument lacks any validity.

          • Tessa

            So, that’s what you run with? That I suggested young girls show off their smile?
            Why not find 10 teenage boys, actually any 10 males and ask them if that is one sexy girl at the top of the page? See what they say. She is beautiful, no doubt, a God-given gift. However, her expression, her eye make-up, her wispy hair, the whole package makes her look very desirable to men. Period. I bet she is younger than she looks here. That’s the point, it’s all so commonplace, that almost no one thinks anything of it. I personally, don’t want my daughters to be looked at like that. Nor, do I want them to draw attention to themselves in any way. It’s such a battle in today’s society, to keep a young girl, pure, truly pure, not just in actions, but in thoughts too. There is so much more to purity than “not doing the deed”, it’s a heart thing, as is all sin.
            And to save you the trouble of any more name calling yes, I sin, daily. Perhaps you don’t. His grace is sufficient. Yet, we must strive for righteousness.

          • Morgan

            I did ask my husband What he thought of the girl in the picture. He said, “she’s a pretty girl. Very classy.” We’re very open with each other, so he would have told me if he thought the picture was inappropriate.

            What I’m getting from this is that you’d like to live under Sharia law. “The wind blew a piece of her hair. Men might find her attractive! Better cover that up quick!” Every human in this world is going to be attracted to different things. You say you’re married. Obviously SOMEONE thought you were a hottie or you wouldn’t be married. Maybe you’d like to think your husband is holier than other men, but he’s not. He saw you in whatever clothes you were wearing, and thought you were hot.

            Another example: I work in a hospital, and I was a hot mess one day. If been running late so I had no makeup & my hair was barely fixed. I was in baggy scrubs that I didn’t have time to iron, and a lab coat. You know what, though? I had a guy ask me out that day! Evidently something about my sloppy, shapeless look was attractive to him. This argument is one that women can’t win until people realize that the fault doesn’t just lie with women. MEN need to be taught respect for women. All this debate does is perpetuate the ridiculous idea that women are nothing but sexual objects, and men are animals with no self – control. It’s a terrible injustice to both sexes.

          • Alice

            And a lot of bathroom mirror selfies on fb are a long way from “art.”

          • Morgan

            I’m not condoning dressing half naked and flashing purple. If you pay attention to this particular debate, you’d see that the one I’m focusing this with believes that any picture of a woman where she looks beautiful is ungodly… which is wrong. Please take the whole context instead of one comment. I’m not debating the main post. I think in the sense that she’s speaking, the author is absolutely correct. This woman saying the picture at the top of the page is inappropriate.. isn’t.

  • ldoty

    This is the type of legalistic attitude that drives so many away from the church. I would certainly never encourage a young girl to post anything inappropriate, but to teach out girls that their natural, God-given, feminine beauty is something that should be hidden and downplayed because it is what causes men to fall is wrong. It not only places an unnecessary burden on our young women, it adds to an already complicated time of selfawareness and self image. Also, while it is important to teach our girls that they are not defined by their outward beauty, it is disingenuous to make them hide or feel ashamed of their youthful beauty. I don’t think that it is unreasonable to expect that we can teach our girls inner purity, outward modesty, and self respect from a Christian perspective without all of the shamming. I am a happily married woman, but I am also aware that I am an attractive woman. I pick clothing that flatters my shape and I generally try to take equally flattering pictures when I am planning on posting them for people to see.

    • Janet L Perez

      Say it loud girl

    • FrontOne

      I totally agree with you. The girl in the picture is not doing anything suggestive. She is just beautiful and there is nothing wrong with posting your picture. If males have a problem, it is their problem. This is the most ridiculous religious thing I have read in a long time.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thx for sharing your thoughts Idoty. Legalism is when you make up your own set of rules that aren’t defined in Scripture and tell other people to abide by them. This post doesn’t do that at all. It exhorts and challenges Christian girls to stop posting “seductive and sensual” pictures of themselves because the Bible speaks clearly on issues of purity. The Bible is clear on the fact that Christian women should avoid sensuality (of all kinds) and instead pursue inner/outward purity. This post encourages girls to reflect the purity of Christ and to avoid the sensuality of our culture. We’re all for girls embracing their God given beauty in the right ways.

    • Ale

      I agree with you post. But there are a lot of “Christian guys” complementing pictures that are not honoring God. I think as a members of the body of Christ we neen to change our behavior and that includes guys too.

  • Linda Darlene Thomas

    The blonde at the tree is not being seductive in this pic. She is just a beautiful girl. If they are being seductive their parents need to take calre of this. They are just like we are, fighting their battles of desires and passions. Just life!! Parents need to handle it Not blast it on F. B.

    • Tamara Kovalenko

      They put a disclaimer saying they didn’t put a picture up of a seductive girl, just a normal pretty girl picture.

  • Tina Blanton

    I believe as long as you are secure in yourself and happy with how your life is mainly going then what right does anyone have to judge you. Unless you have lived their life be through what they been through then you can’t stand in judgement but if they say / preach one thing to you but do the opposite of what they have said or done then you have the right to speak your mind and point out their mistake. I am a Christian and I am also human I will make mistakes and when I do I’m not so self centered or so prideful that I don’t own up to my mistakes. Respect, Love, Honesty and Loyalty is taught throughout the Bible helping your fellow man when they are down to be NON- Judgemental stand behind your words and promises. Don’t be easily influenced by others that you forget your own beliefs to where they will influence you to do wrong is what I take from my learning of Gods Will for us. But many what to tale Gods teaching and bend it to whatever they want so they can please themselves and judge others. It’s plain as day sray steadfast do be wishy washy the 10 Commandments lay down the path for you to follow Gods Will and direction in your lives, it’s up to each person to work through their own Salvation. What may seem right to you may not be right for others but you chose your pathway let others choose theirs. It doesn’t matter how we finish as long as we finish in Heaven. PERIOD.

    • Tina Blanton

      That suppose to stay steadfast and don’t be wishy washy.

  • tjja51190

    and i love the fact that this board is moderated. haha. too afraid of the comments?

    • ThoughtfullyConservative

      What a ridiculous comment to make.

      • Morgan

        Not really. One of my comments was “moderated” earlier, and there was nothing rude or offensive in it in the slightest. It just had an opposing view.

  • Cheryl

    Thank you for upholding the truth of God’s Word and encouraging girls to focus their lives on Christ. Don’t be upset by criticism. The world hated and persecuted our Lord, and God’s Word says that everyone who stands up for the truth will be persecuted as Christ was. Rejoice! (Matthew 5:12)

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for the encouragement Cheryl!

  • Quiet

    Thank you for being brave enough to say what needs to be said. God bless you.

  • writermama

    great thoughts. I do not have daughters, but if I did, I would not allow them to post seductive selfies… period. Nothing wrong with a truly beautiful photo- it is so nice to see pictures of girls that I love on FB. It is nice to be able to share with friends and family. But if you plan to post a seductive pose, please don’t include me or my sons. Save the seduction for your husband, that is how God intended it.

  • Sssi

    I think my most ‘prettiest selfies’ were my wedding photos (so I’m married)… What defines a nice presentable picture with a friend and a ‘selfie’ ? Is it the amount of make up, or how low cut our shirt is, or how short your skirt is? God did create us to be attractive to men, but only to our husbands (if that makes sense – there is more to this). I use to dress very bogan to the point I think I stood out more and I would embarrass my friend because I was afraid of being ‘seductive’. I dress nicer now, sometimes where make up, but I’m always paranoid about being to seductive. So in reality where do we draw the line? Because if the picture given as an example of this blog is ‘seductive’ then I should probably take down all my wedding photos….

    • Sssi

      wear not where sorry 😛

      • Sssi

        Please comment on this – I would really like to hear answers…:) Not that my wedding photos look as ‘dumb founded’ as she does but they are all pretty like

        • Pro modesty

          Read the disclaimer at the very end of her post.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Nobody can give you a clear cut line in the sand for every pose and position that makes a seductive photo vs. one that isn’t. The biggest questions to ask yourself are these: When I take a photo, what are my motives? Am I trying to allure other’s by being sensual or sexual? Does my picture encourage others to look at my face or my body? Does my picture reflect a heart of purity? There’s nothing wrong with a beautiful picture…God loves beauty – He created it. The problem comes when we blur the lines between beauty and sensuality.

      • Chelsea Melendez

        Ummmm we are sensual/sexual beings… I mean don’t post a photo half naked, or whatever but Lord have mercy, putting up a photo because you look good that day and you want to show it off isn’t a bad thing. How does a picture reflect a heart of purity? Is the photo used for this blog reflecting a heart of beauty or is it seductive? Women struggling with the extreme pressure put on them to look pure, act pure etc etc will see this post and will have to add one more thing to the list now in order to be a woman with “pure motives”. And let’s get serious, when do we ever have totally pure motives? Never. Because we’re human, and that’s okay. Why don’t we start cutting women slack in the church and start focusing on men learning to treat women with respect as well as taking responsibility for THEIR lust. Women are exhausted by all the posts on purity, beauty, being the “Proverbs 31 Woman”. Let girls post selfies. It’s a part of growing up and coming into your own. I’m not saying to take this idea to the extreme and dress up in bra and panties but I’m saying if you’re having a day where you look in the mirror abs you think “man I look good today” go ahead and post it!

        • Sssi

          I’m just always paranoid if I look nice, then its bad (It’s incorrect I know). When I worked in particular fields, even if I was covered head to toe, I’d still got a lot of attention… so maybe that’s where boys need to watch their thoughts …. Well like you said, our motive is never good – I guess as long as it doesn’t cause a brother to stumble (either a bad example for young women thinking they must act like that, or a provocative lust building photo for men). Different societies have different standards as well, you must wear something that is considered modest in the particular society your in (eg. in arab countries, our ‘modest’ would not be, but in rural African cultures, there would be clothing signs for prostitutes / sensual women even though they wear less.) But I’m not saying our western ‘norm’ is acceptable I mean MODEST not normal 😛

          • A Thought

            Guys are not all the same. Some will be turned on without seeing much and some more. More or less sensitive. A guy almost automatically takes action if he sees a girl not dressed right. Well, he takes action in some form. He either looks away and tries hard to occupy his mind elsewhere or he lets his thoughts stay on the girl. A girl in a bikini almost might as well not have it on ’cause a guy’s mind can take it off without much imagination. He doesn’t just think “She looks nice”
            Dads and brothers need to help their daughters and sisters ’cause most girls don’t know at all how guys’ thoughts work. If a guy sees a girl not dressed modestly he should tell her in love.

      • Lionell Ebenibo

        I think this sums this up totally.

    • Denise

      You should read the whole article. There is a disclaimer at the end that says the picture posted is NOT a seductive one. For obvious reasons it is a modest one.

  • Sara Walker

    Being a Christian woman I understand both sides but this equates to saying a man raped a woman because she had a bikini on on the beach so it’s her fault….wait what? There is a difference between being held accountable for an action versus placing blame. Our society already teaches men that women are to blame for many problems, let’s not encourage our girls to blame themselves further. There is a time and place for everything. My mom has selfies on Fb of her on the beach…should she take them down because she may look sexy? Lol lets not be ridiculous.

    • KS

      I’ve read the post twice now, what part said she was making girls responsible for men’s/boys actions? There is such a diff between taking a beautifulbbq picture for memories sake or to share with a friend, and taking one to pose to show off how good you look & for attention. That’s all she is asking us to think about. She has a concern for where going girls are getting their worth from, she didn’t place blame on any one.

    • Tamara Kovalenko

      Rape is a touchy subject with many different views. I understand what you mean, that all blame should not be placed on a woman. Men should be raised to respect us and not shame us. However, all people should be raised to be good, honest people, but that will never happen. There will always be murderers, there will always be rapists, and that’s why a woman has to be careful. We can’t just tell ourselves, “I will wear whatever I want and the men around me should become blind to what I am wearing and not bother me.” Especially in dangerous places like cities with high crime. That is like covering yourself in blood and hopping into a shark tank thinking, “I will do what I want, and these sharks better leave me alone.” Obviously that shark will not leave you alone, and obviously there is chance for that one rapist to be out and a girl seductively clothed will catch his eye. In this case the girl should have thought about the consequences of her actions. The rapist is to blame for the crime, but it could have been avoided. It takes two to tango. The situation with a woman on the beach is justifiable, because that is an area where swim suits are normal. The rapist came like a predator, and picked out a girl who best suited his needs.Maybe he picked her over a girl who wore a more modest swimsuit though, but seeing as this is a hypothetical situation, we can’t really know. It’s just food for thought.

      • Sara Walker

        Good food for thought. Like I said, I see it from both sides. What I do find interesting is that I have yet to see an article about why boys or men post selfies….seems like a double standard in my opinion but maybe that’s just me. I think people equally have to be questioned why they do things; not just women and its affect on the actions of men. I find it intriguing no one has really stated anything about boys posting a provocative selfie and how they should think twice because of what it does to girls…just a thought :)

        • Tamara Kovalenko

          That is an interesting observation.. I think it’s because we have so much more at our disposal to be sexual. All a guy can do is post a picture with his shirt off to show off his abs.. that’s about as seductive as it gets. It would be a good article, maybe the author of this one will read these comments and get an idea for a future one.

        • Tonya

          Men are turned on by “sight” and women are turned on by “actions, words or deeds.” Our make up is different. That’s why you hear more about girls being dressed provocatively and not guys. Girls may look at a guy that is dressed this way and say, “Oh, he looks nice or sexy” and do nothing. But if a girl is dressed this way, a guy would not just say, “Oh, she looks nice or sexy,” his hormones kick in and many times actions take over, just because of what he “SAW!”

          • Sara Walker

            See, I don’t think it’s fair to say that because different things turn different people on. I don’t feel it’s fair nor accurate to categorize it by men are turned by this vs. Women be turned on by something else. As a woman myself who hangs around men and woman, I can accurately say we as woman are completely attracted and turned on by the physical traits of men. Whether we choose to act on it is something completely different. I also don’t think it’s right to say all men see a sexy woman and want to take action because he can’t control himself. How absurd is that? He must be held accountable and take control of his actions and that starts with parenting and ends with learning self discipline. Women are capable of horrible things just as men are.

      • AshleyO

        Woah, you need to go do some research on rapes statistics and victim-blaming. There are so many things in your comment that so blatantly incorrect that I’m not even sure where to begin. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not trying to be rude, but you are perpetuating rape culture. Just a few things: men are not sharks, and bodies and clothing are not “blood”. Most rapists are not scary men in the bushes targeting “bad girls” who look all sexy; in fact, somewhere around half of rapes are of childre (who clearly are not “inviting” the attention) and most rapists are men known by or related to the victim. And rape is NEVER the “consequence of [the victim’s] actions” and to suggest otherwise is appalling and insensitive, and uninformed. I know you are not trying to be insensitive, but your words could be very harmful to rape victims.

  • Michael

    The biggest struggle most girls have is really what is self-acceptance. They hear all the time we should feel accepted and we should have people that accept us, but what really is acceptance? Is it the daily knowledge that someone’s got your back and they will be there for you each day? Is it the fact you have friends that feel the same way you do? Is it maybe the thought that you can talk to someone about anything and they will understand? Let me give you something that One Ups all of these great humanistic viewpoints of acceptance. Acceptance can be found only through one avenue and that is by knowing the truth, and being willing to conform to that truth. We can live our lives with the notions of I am accepted based upon all these second rate ideologies of acceptance. The one true way is by knowing the truth and placing yourself into that truth. Girls will go on with life in the same way hearing over and over what to do to be accepted, but they will go home each night with the dread of the world not really accepting them. There is someone that will accept them no matter what. He died, was buried, and rose again over 2000 years ago. Every young lady when they meet this man and really understand His acceptance they will find that sensuality is not even something they find could bring the acceptance they want.

  • Norma

    Thank you very much for this, You explained it so clearly, that I hope truly Christian girls and women! meditate and decide to really change their style of life.

  • Abby

    Thanks you so much for this post. It was really something I needed to hear! Thank you!! :) :)

  • Just A Thought

    I agree with the concept, yet feel this is something taken to a degree it shouldn’t be. Causing men to stumble will hardly be caused due to flattering pictures of you taken on a rooftop while you are still appropriately clothed, but have on attire that accentuates your beauty, topping it off with beautiful accessories. Victoria’s Secret posters in the mall and things of that nature are seductive and sensual, and would definitely cause a hardship for men who are striving to be pure. However, the type of pictures that you are speaking of are far from being explicit like that in any way. God loves beauty! Just look around at nature! Is it inappropriate for a peacock to show it’s beautiful feathers? That would be absurd to say! Modesty is important, and carelessly parading yourself around “advertising” your body is not acceptable, but embracing & celebrating your own beauty is not. Is it being proud and self exalting, or simply having confidence and taking in and appreciating the beauty that God has blessed you with?

    • Morgan

      I love this so much. I like selfies. I don’t overdo it, but I love the artistry of a photograph. I love being about to play with filters and “create” something beautiful. I put my selfies right up next to pictures of my son or the storms that we’ve had lately, and you know what? They’re all beautiful. I post them where my pastor and grow church members can see without shame. They give me confidence and let me see myself as the radiant woman God made me to be. Considering the mirror gives me a much different self – image, I enjoy looking through those photos when I’m having a bad day in order to remind myself that, yes, I am a beautiful creation. I should celebrate the things God has given me instead of focusing on the things I don’t like about myself. My evil little selfies remind me to be thankful. Who is anyone to judge that or take it from me? A picture has to glorify God, you say? Well, sometimes a selfie can do just that. To those of you saying they’re nothing but vanity, I hope in every photo you have, you are in pig trails and a long skirt with a cheesy grin, holding a Bible so you look innocent enough to glorify God… oh wait! Some men are turned on by the innocent look… better to just wear a burka… but some men might find that attractive… oh boy…

    • Amanda

      THIS^^^ i couldn’t agree more.

    • Drake

      Luke 14:11 says “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” When you post a selfie, are you exalting yourself or the One who created you? When a peacock shows it’s feathers, it is not done in an act of self glorification, but merely a natural movement. The author is not saying solely that a Christian girl should not post selfies because of the way it causes others to stumble, but also because of the deeper issues that it reveals in a person. The author is saying that we should not get our satisfaction from the approval of those around us, but through our relationship with Jesus Christ.

  • seriously?

    i don’t agree. I think that many girls post these type of photos to show creativity or to look tumblr. Social media accounts are about you! I agree you should be modest but whats wrong with a selfie?

  • Abigail

    Wow, I can definitely identify with a lot that was said here! It was like you knew me personally! Thank You, I really needed that! I know I need to reflect God more in my life! Again Thanks and God Bless!

  • Chelsea Melendez

    Is the photo on this blog post a seductive selfie? I’m a photographer and often take senior photos and the photo you post at the top of this post is very similar to how I shoot. The girl looks beautiful and pretty modest…. sure we put photos up that makes us look good, there is a time and place where words of affirmation are good. Women are created to reflect beauty. Trying to guilt trip girls into not posting what you deem as a “seductive selfie” is very legalistic. Yes, you need to be wise and modest but being noticed for your beauty isn’t bad…unless it consumes all aspects of your life maybe

    • Tamara Kovalenko

      There is a disclaimer at the end that says that the photo chosen is not what they believe to be seductive, they didn’t want to post a seductive one for obvious reasons.

  • Heather

    I agree with this post to a certain extent. On the other hand, Ive been told by people that I take “seductive” selfies just because I don’t choose to smile in every picture and I wear makeup sometimes. I am in no way immodest, suggestive, sexual, or inappropriate. What I believe it comes down to is that the people who have told me that they’re “seductive”, knew me when I didn’t wear any makeup, didn’t do my eyebrows, and dressed like a frumpy old woman. They don’t know how else to explain my “transformation” or change so they just choose the word seductive, because suddenly they see me as attractive. I have showed my pictures to my mom and asked her honest opinion and I would not be afraid to show my selfies/Instagram to my pastor or anyone else whose opinion I highly regard. It’s okay to post pictures that you believe you look nice in and to cherish other peoples opinions. I understand some people are obsessive and consumed with others opinions and comments, but I think placing this worry in girls heads that they’re being too seductive when really they’ve just taken a flattering photo is silly and unnecessary. That being said, I acknowledge the fact that there is a line that can easily be crossed, and it does come down to a heart issue.

  • Tessa

    As with most blogs, etc. people agree or don’t. I think many are missing the bigger picture, we need to teach our daughters, it’s not about them, it’s about Him…no, it’s not even really about the guy (young or old) that maybe is getting turned on by their selfie, it’s about God. Are we teaching our daughters to honor Him in everything? If we, as mother’s think it’s ok to focus on ourselves, selfie, after selfie, after selfie, to draw attention and get comments, then that is exactly what we are teaching our daughters. Modesty. God desires modesty, not only as “nonsexual”, but as true humility.
    Some may choose not to admit, others may not realize their motives for ANY selfie likely is ATTENTION, to themselves. Sure, we all occasionally post a selfie with our baby or kids, to keep family and friends updated, but most selfies seek attention. It’s their job on social media. Some people are too wrapped up in themselves to know that, but it’s true.

    Now, about the sensual/sexual selfie. I always think a good rule of thumb is; if you think you look “hot”, or someone says you do, or if secretly you hope someone thinks or says you do….it’s inappropriate dress. This should be true for anytime, weather taking pictures or not. That “hot” look- save that for your husband! Also, our facial expressions, as well as our body language speak very loudly. The world says its ok to dress and act less than modestly. Christian brothers and sisters, be in this world, not of it. The path is narrow.

    • Tessa

      *whether

  • DA

    I personally thought this article was right on! This is one of the first blog posts I’ve seen address this issue, so I will definitely share :-) First, I think it’s important to note that I believe (and I’m fairly certain the authors of this website believe) that men are responsible for their own actions. If a man sees something that is tempting to him then it’s his responsibility to look away. That being said, I also believe that far too many girls/women take “seductive selfies” to get attention (and I mean any attention, not just male attention). [As a sidenote, yes, I do recognize guys may do this too.] In my experience, the girls who take “seductive selfies” tend to have deeper issues they haven’t dealt with. Whether it be daddy issues (e.g., absent father, distant father, or a father who never positively affirmed them), self-esteem issues, self-confidence issues, etc. These girls are STARVING and dying of THIRST; and unfortunately, social media websites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter fill the needs they have for attention…at least temporarily :-/ Unfortunately, the “high” they get off of getting “likes, favorites, and retweets” isn’t long-lasting. What do I mean by that? Here’s an example. I heard an anecdote of a man who was lost at sea with water. The more thirsty he got the more “appetizing” the seawater looked. Eventually, he gave into temptation and drank the water; but the more he drank, the thirstier he got. Girls like these need prayer in addition to wise counsel. If you know someone like this and you’re close to them then feel free to pray for them and address this issue w/them (not in a mean way but in a “I care about you and I honestly know you’re worth so much more in God’s eyes” way). And if you don’t feel that you can speak into someone’s life regarding this issue just pray for them (and God will do the rest)!

    • MtnGirl

      It is very important that men not take it upon themselves to speak to women about this (unless it’s a father to his daughter). Even though a man may be speaking out of a pure heart and with the most sincere intentions, our culture labels him as a pervert and he can be accused of sexual harassment. I read an article about this happening not too long ago.

  • blazeitnigga

    Hail Satan and stay high:)

  • Zid Angeles

    I’m a guy and I found this article very well. This message need to push through so all can realize what really is happening and what really must happen.

    God bless sis!

  • Weary Mom

    Honestly, I’m really curious now about this photo after reading through all the comments again. I *do* see the photo as on the sensual side, but will admit to being very sensitive to that sort of thing. Don’t get me wrong;she’s a lovely girl and dressed beautifully… It has to do with the penetrating gaze of her eyes, “the windows into the soul.” I would not want any woman looking at my husband or sons like that, except for their wives! 😉 I would love to see the results if every commenter on here very carefully (no emotion) showed the photo to 10 guys and asked them if they thought the photo was sexy/sensual, and then why or why not. And then all of us shared the results with each other.

    • May

      Disclaimer: The image used at the top of this blog is not what we would consider a “seductive selfie.” We chose not to publish a photo of a sensual/seductive girl for obvious reasons.

    • May

      you can see the disclaimer below… :)

    • Morgan

      Showed my husband. He laughed & said “no. She’s fully clothed, and all you can see is her head/arm.”
      There’s one for your poll.

      • Smrtygurl

        My husband says that she has a beautiful face and that someone who wants to just see a body… ie. boobs and butt has issues

    • Amanda

      Geez… maybe we should walk around with our heads and faces covered like women do in strict Muslim countries. I know of a gal that doesn’t wear makeup and wears her hair in a spinster-like bun just to “not draw attention to herself”… Honestly, she is drawing MORE attention to herself by doing so. She is still gorgeous and guys still look twice… imagine that. No matter what women and gals do or say, men will always read into things “sexually” if THEY have the
      heart problem.

    • andy ivy

      She’s not even looking into the camera.. penetrating gaze, seriously? She looks like she’s staring off into the distance above the photographer.

  • Colette Rakauskas

    Thanks for this blog, a good reminder and something I could share with the girls in our church youth group :-)

  • Gem

    shared!!! Thanks for this!

  • Erin

    The best thing I ever did was leave the Christian religion! You can too! It’s okay to think about it. You don’t have to live enslaved by mindless drivel!

  • Wes

    Posting a picture to gain attention is the same as posting a quirky line on Facebook to collect likes. You can’t say that these posts are wrong and a desperate cry for attention because you are placing yourself before god. Come on…. I post a cute picture of my dog online sometimes, that doesn’t mean I’m desperate for attention. It’s something that I find cute and I believe my friends would enjoy seeing. People need to stop being so judgmental about all this crap. A person thinks they look cute in this photo and want to share it with people they know. It’s not always a cry for attention. And bringing religion into how people present themselves in picture form is kind of wrong. What is it that they say about judging? What if it was a picture of a generally unattractive woman in a swimsuit waving or blowing a kiss at a photo compared to a supermodel blowing a kiss at the camera in a bikini. Would the first one seem less seductive because she isnt attractive in pop cultures eyes? The problem is with the way people view these photos. Not the people in them.

    • Mandy L

      I agree. These girls are enjoying how God created them, and not being lewd or raunchy at all.

  • Jenna

    Ok. Live to a higher standard. I agree with that. What about some of he deep rooted loneliness that sinks in because, after living a higher standard, it still there and “all the guys” are running to the girls who post the selfies.

    • Me

      All the guys are running to those
      Girls bodies not there hearts. If you stay true to God and faithful. He will provide.

    • a guy

      I know lots of girls that post selfies like these . They are single. They are clearly super needy of attention. I run… but not to them…

  • Amanda

    I think the writer sounds jealous and bitter of those “pretty” girls. There are verses to help with that, too.

    • Sara

      LOL I’m guessing you’ve never seen a picture of the writer!

  • Amanda

    I do not agree that these girls are empty, sad and “wanting more” out of life. I think the girl that over-analyzes things, blogs about and judges these gals is the one seeking attention. Most of my friends post selfies… I am in my 30s. Seriously… I KNOW them and most are married with children. *Maybe* they are just showing off a really creative hairstyle… *maybe* they are showing everyone their new eyeshadow or lipstick. *MAYBE* they are just confident, and we need more confident people in this world. In Christianity, I have noticed that women are always to blame for men’s lust issues. Women are not aloud to be confident or they are considered to be worldly and autonomous. Now, if a teen girl is squishing her boobs together with a low cut top on in a selfie, then YES! That’s not good… but an innocent rooftop photo shoot of teens just having fun? C’mon…

    • Sarah

      My favorite comment on here this far. :0)

    • Mena

      So much miss on one paragraph. Face palm.

      • Azariah

        explain.

  • Gina

    You speak the truth in love and you’re bound to be blasted for it. Continue to speak it anyway-those with ears to hear will hear. Love in Christ!

  • Dadwithdaughter

    Most of these comments and replies talk about what they think and how they feel about selfies, I look at it from a different perspective. Being a guy who has 2 daughters and at one time I was a young teenage guy I know what they guys are thinking when they view theses seductive selfies of young ladies. Trust me you don’t want to put that temptation in front of these young men. If you truly care for them and want the best for them, don’t post the seductive selfies.

    • andy ivy

      Telling girls that they, the girls, are the source of men’s lust issues, and not that the lust issue in the men’s hearts, is absurd, offensive, and wrong. No single girl, anywhere, regardless of her action, is responsible for the way a guy reacts to her photo – even if she’s completely naked. Our sons are solely responsible for how they react, so we should teach our sons to respect women and view them as holy daughters of God. Stop chastising our daughters for someone else’s sin issue.

      “Oh, but we shouldn’t be a stumbling block!”

      You know, maybe that’s true. If you’re going to do that – to try to correct the girl’s behavior for the sake of the boy – you better tell every young man to stop working out, to not wear shirts that reveal their muscles, that they aren’t allowed to go shirtless, and that they need to start wearing one pieces at the beach. Girls lust too, believe it or not, and we need to make sure every guy desexualizes himself instead of talking to the girls about lust.

      Let’s just never deal with the real problem, and just teach the people who aren’t doing anything wrong that they’re the sinful ones instead! /sarcasm

      • Amanda

        YES! As a mother to a son myself, I plan on raising him to have a pure mind and heart. I will tell him, HE can be the issue if he does not guard his heart. Even if a woman is in a long sleeve, maxi, turtle neck dress, guys with dirty minds will STILL look.

      • MtnGirl

        Yes, we should teach our sons to respect women, but at the same time, we need to teach our girls to respect men. If I truly love my “brother,” I’m going to try to be a help to him and not a hindrance when I know this is a huge battle for men–something that has been proven over and over in research and just plain common sense fact. If I were a recovering alcoholic fighting a daily battle to resist liquor, would my friends/family be showing me love and respect by offering alcohol when I’m around? What is wrong with respecting my men by trying to help them?

        The principle of modesty is one that is definitely taught in the Bible, and we are responsible to heed it. So many areas of business, schools, even the military when addressing its members as to what is appropriate civilian dress, all have a dress code. Why is it so wrong to have standards of dress as Christians? Why shouldn’t our churches be safe havens for our brothers where they can worship without having to constantly fight to keep their minds and hearts pure because of the inappropriate dress of women? Men are visual creatures. This has been proven over and over. We should help them and not make the battle even harder.

        Anytime the focus is “all about me” and on my “rights,” our focus is all wrong. As has been stated many times throughout these responses, our purpose is to glorify God and reflect Him in our lives. If God truly has our heart, it will be a delight to obey Him, and we will delight to be an encouragement to all believers.

        • andy ivy

          It has nothing to do with “me” or “my rights” for women. My point is that the idea that it’s any part of your responsibility to stop your brothers from lusting is WRONG. That mindset has been prominent for centuries. It’s the reason middle eastern women wear clothes that show absolutely no skin. Guess what? Those guys STILL lust! Big shocker!

          There is no sensible way to act this out. If you really love your brothers, you should try to be a huge help to him and never leave your house because it does not matter WHAT you wear, someone WILL lust after you. Never leaving your house, that’s a guaranteed way to stop tempting them! I hope you love your brothers enough!

          If you, as a woman, have a responsibility to be modest, it’s to God only. You have no responsibility to any man, brother in Christ or otherwise, to be modest. You should be modest, if you should, because it honors God. If your goal with modesty is to help your brothers, I’m going to tell you, there’s nothing you can do, no level of modesty you can attain that will stop men from lusting after you. It’s not your fault, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t control a man’s heart. You can pray for him, and that will be far more effective than dressing according to your personal idea of modesty.

  • Mandy L

    Actually, that photo IS seductive. There is nothing wrong with it, either, or other seductive poses where girls are realizing and embracing their sexuality. The contrast is overtly SEXUAL poses like Miley Cyrus and the third finger on her foam glove along her crotch. There is too much shame associated with sexuality in Christianity today – twisting something powerful and beautiful God gave every human being that we should all OWN, and as you proved with your disclaimer, how these things are viewed are relative based on culture and society. In Iran, a woman showing anything outside of her burka would be considered not just seductive, but overtly SEXUAL. In Brazil what many American Christians consider sexual is simply feminine and beautiful. One person can’t decide for the rest of us what is appropriate or not. I think these girls may be on to something – and guys for that matter aren’t helpless. IMO saying the girls have to cover everything up and the guys are helpless hound dogs devalues both genders.

    • Benjamín Joel Fleet

      Thank you! America (thanks to conservative Christianity) has a serious problem with overly sexualizing everything involving the female form. Girls should not be ashamed of their sexuality, they should be encouraged to embrace it because that is how God made them. As humans, our sexuality is part of who we are, and denying that is to deny God’s creation.

      In America, girls are shamed for showing to much cleavage, while the breasts are not even sexual organs! Through this kind of overreacting, the conservative Christian church has turned America into an overly perverted nation by convincing everyone that breasts (and midriff, legs, etc) are equal to the penis and vagina and should be totally hidden. If guys are becoming sexually obsessed by a girl in a bikini, it is 100% the guys’ faults. Shaming girls for showing skin or displaying sexuality (often two very different things) just further encourages body and rape shaming by telling girls that everything is their fault and that they should naturally be repressed and ashamed.

  • Nicole

    This was like refreshing water. We need to speak truth like this in love, and that’s what you did. THANK you:-) I pray God encourages your heart and that you feel His blessing despite the people who are blasting you in defense. It’s intereesting how this topic ALWAYS is difficult for us women to swallow. When we truly have a heart for God though, we’ll stop, take an open-minded look at it and see if this is something God would like for us to change. Do I want to be hidden in Christ?
    Col.3:3 & 4 “3For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.”

    • MtnGirl

      Well stated!

  • LPNPA

    You know, it really is sad reading some of the replies you got here. Truth is a hard pill to swallow for some, and yet for others a worldly, self-absorbed attitude has taken them and blinded them to the error of these things you have addressed.
    One person spoke of these selfies being posted out of confidence…If you are confident, you have zero need to post selfies on the web and fish for compliments because you KNOW you are beautiful in God’s sight and that’s ALL that matters. I fully agree with this article 100%. I have seen this over and over again with my single AND married social network friends. Just because you are married (sadly) doesn’t mean you don’t have emotional issues or inner needs like a lack of self-confidence that drive you to fish for compliments or try to make yourself appear attractive in your photos because you don’t want anyone thinking “bad” about you. Motivation for posting a self-glorifying selfie is not always done in a conscious manner. I, too, see an ever-growing prevalent attitude of self-glorifying because of inner loneliness or emotional needs. Maybe the poster isn’t consciously doing so, but none-the-less, the self-gratifying reasons for doing so are there under the surface.

    • DMBNKB

      Well said!!!! :)

    • Amanda

      Yup, that person was me. So… with that being said, I would hate for girls to feel like they can never post pictures of themselves. That’s just silly. And honestly, there is nothing wrong with edifying one another and giving each other a “boost” every now and then. I have a friend that currently had a baby and is trying so hard to lose her weight. Occasionally, she will post a mirror selfie of her dwindling shape to show her progress… You better believe that I “like” that! She’s working hard and NEEDS the encouragement to keep going. That, by no means, makes her conceited or vain. Sure, she is gorgeous in God’s eyes, but our job as Christians is to lift one another up and praise each other.

    • Azariah

      LPNPA how do you KNOW that all these selfies are being posted for self-gratifying, selfish reasons? How can you know the thoughts and intents of the hearts of these selfie girls? Who gave you such powers to read minds and hearts? You stand in the place of God when you claim to know the inner workings of the heart/mind. It’s not your job to question their motive. Only God can do that. Please stop pretending that you KNOW what is going on in people’s minds.

    • GrowingGrace

      you make it sound like lack of self esteem is a sin.

      • LPNPA

        Lack of self-esteem is not a matter of sin, it is a matter of a heart that has succumbed to satan’s lies that you, a unique creation of Adonai, are not worthy of love because you are not beautiful.. It is the self-gratification that follows this that can BECOME sin if one is not careful, for example, indulging in lascivious behavior or relationships to get what is a VERY twisted “love”

  • Jessica Myers

    I think this was a good article and an important topic to discuss with girls and young women in this selfie age. It does make good points. I also think that young teens can do these things innocently and adults put their own lustful thoughts on the girls who really don’t necessarily understand what’s going on. So, therefore, we need to approach this topic in a non accusatory way, but more in a teaching way, as mothers to daughters. Don’t make them feel like scum for what is perhaps a copy cat non-thought out act. We can over re-act too. This purity thinking needs to begin at a very young age not just at puberty.

  • Isaac

    My parents raised me right. As a single man I was attracted to a nice smile and not the “duck face”. Look for a man who prefers your smile.

    • joshua

      My wife’s smile turns me on. All she has to do is smile and I get going. It’s very sexual and seductive. Guess what? It was the same BEFORE we were even married. She turned me on. With her smile. Also her boobs, but definitely her smile too.

      None of you seem to understand what ‘seductive’ means.

      • Ryan Crosswhite

        everyone has a different definition of what ‘seductive’ means. Ask 1000 ppl and you will get 2000 different answers and responses

  • Gimme a Break

    Dr. Phil has a lot of work to do if therapy is needed by every girl who posts a “sexual selfie”! First, the definition of “sexual” varies widely as evident in the previous posts. Second, a girl in a 1-piece snowsuit is bound to be “sexual” to someone. Third, IMO eyes are the most seductive body part. Should we all wear sunglasses? Oh wait, sunglasses can be sexy! Don’t diagnose folks with a self-image or attention issue based on your own limited experience. Christians get accused of being overly judgmental if folks don’t fit their own ideas and values and here is a great example of why.

    • LPNPA

      Your argument of “well eyes can be sexual so should we all wear sunglasses” is a mute point. Women CAN control what they wear, how they dress, how they pose, etc. Everyone’s idea of modesty is different, in that you are correct, but the question SHOULD be, what is GOD’S idea of modesty? If we are all adhering to our OWN idea of modesty, is that being obedient to His Word? I highly doubt that He would approve of come-hither, seductive poses or purposeful pouting of the lips, etc meant to make one look appealing and sexual! If a woman posts a pic of herself smiling, let’s say, at a party with another friend and is not trying to be sexual but instead is dressed modestly, if a man finds her eyes sexual then that becomes HIS issue. She can rest easy knowing that NOTHING SHE DID lured him to think that way. If, however, she poses with come hither eyes, then she is guilty of tempting him!

      • andy ivy

        God’s idea of modesty was creating people to live completely naked. I’m not at all saying we should live that way, but “to the pure, all things are pure” – if we were more interested in purifying our hearts and minds, there would be no need to address “seductive selfies.”

        • LPNPA

          That argument is also a mute point because once sin entered into the Garden of Eden, nakedness became a stumbling block. Regardless of HOW God created us, the truth is we live in a society that has been tarnished by sin. God knew this so He gave us specific instructions that we are NOT to look upon another’s nakedness except out spouses! Leviticus 18:6-18 is clear about this!

          • andy ivy

            MOOT point. The term is “moot point.”

            I’m just saying that there is nowhere in the Bible that gives us any idea of God’s idea of modesty. He’s much more interested in telling us not to look at each other with lust, but there is no definition of modesty.

      • Peter

        “Mute point” = not a real thing.

        • Jeremiah Warren

          “mute point” = illiterate version of “moot point”

          • LPNPA

            Well then auto correct must be illiterate because it changed moot to mute every time I posted. Before you go bashing people for what you deem illiteracy, I suggest you look within at your ignorant ways first!

      • joshua

        Modesty is a social construct. If we want to know what God’s idea of modesty is, we need only look to scripture. Genesis 1-3 to be specific.

      • Laura

        And where’s the onus on the man to deal with his own temptation? My best friend is a guy, and has agreed that a girl in a turtle neck and nice fitting (to be clear: not tight) pants can be sexy. This doesn’t tempt him to rape her, but who defines sexy? Who defines seductive? Who decides any of that? Gosh, all of this makes me livid.

      • andy ivy

        “She can rest easy knowing that NOTHING SHE DID lured him to think that way.”

        No way, it was totally something she did – she SMILED! And he lusted! That’s not okay! She shouldn’t be smiling!!

        • LPNPA

          SIGH, I leave you all to your warped ideas of modesty and appropriate behavior! Might want to check your odorous attitudes while you are at it here!

          • andy ivy

            No, I’m being completely serious! Where do we draw the line? If you want to be legalistic saying a smile is okay, but seeing a girl smile arouses me – who’s right? I say girls shouldn’t smile in pictures on the internet.

            The next guy can’t look at a picture of a girl on the internet. Maybe girls shouldn’t post pictures of themselves on the internet.

            This is a serious question that needs to be answered! Where do we draw the line?

  • Ashley

    As a photographer of high school I see this a lot and it does break my heart to think these girls are trying to portray something they think is beautiful because that is what our fallen world is telling them. As a mom of three little girls I hope they will be blind to it but I know they won’t so as their mom I will try my best to teach what God finds beautiful.

  • Carlin Hamilton

    You have said so eloquently what I have been wanting to say for a long time! I hope everyone will read this and take it to heart! Thanks!!

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      @carlin Thanks so much for the encouragement! :)

  • andy ivy

    First, what exactly is a “Christ centered” photo, compared to one that’s self-centered? Especially for a SELFIE? I can’t even wrap my head around that one. Do I need to make sure that my cross necklace is visible in every photo, or that I’m holding a Bible? Should I superimpose a random scripture on the photo in an artistic font? Should they only be taken in Church?

    Second, how could you POSSIBLY know the depths of every single girl’s heart who posts a selfie that you deem to be seductive? That’s an asinine thing to claim. You can’t possibly make a legitimate claim that every single “seductive selfie” is a “look at me” cry. Even if that was true, IT’S A SELFIE. Seductive or not, it’s a picture of YOURSELF. What else would I be trying to show someone?

    I get your heart behind this post, but it feels like you’re trying to legislate something that just isn’t inherently wrong in the first place. Are you prepared to post a second blog entry chastising young men for posting photos of them working out in the gym, or for going shirtless on the beach, or wearing shirts that show off their muscles? “No work out selfies, guys! That’s not a Christ centered photo!” This article shares the exact same mentality as why women in middle eastern countries have to wear those full body coverings.

    I’m just.. shaking my head.

  • Jen

    “It makes sense that the supermodels and non-Christian girls don’t have a problem posting selfies like this.”
    What a horrid comment. Christian girls aren’t the only ones who have a sense to display modesty and professionalism. I’ve never posted a seductive photo on any social media site, but that doesn’t mean I consider myself higher than those who do. A statement like that seems like it comes from the same type of ignorance that tells rape victims that they were “asking for it” just because their skirt is a few inches above the knee.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for chiming in Jen. The point of that statement you mentioned is to simply say that non-christian girls don’t live their lives by a Biblical standard of purity. The Bible isn’t their guide for life. Therefore, I don’t question why they post seductive pictures. Christian girls, however, are given a command for purity in Scripture and should reflect that in every area of their lives.

      • Laura

        I still question why they post seductive pictures. Self Respect doesn’t have to come from Biblical morals, though it can. I totally agree with Jen. That sentence made me angry to my very core because it gave me the same reaction that Jen had. It’s awful, no matter how you justify it.

  • Aurelia Lambrechts

    What you are saying has so much value… I’ve been a follower of Jesus from a very young age and also went through a phase like you. Just desiring affirmation and attention in whatever form. Photos seem to be the most “harmless” way as you can still distance yourself from them afterwards. However… I don’t feel a true solution is given above.

    It’s not just a principle here. God will still be glorified whether I point my little gram of attention to Him or not. He will still reveal Himself where people truly seek Him. He is building His church, not us.

    Committing to being a respectable, good, pure, Christian girl won’t fill the burning question us ladies have in our hearts – am I beautiful? Nor will it heal negative experiences to this exact question.

    Another perspective on the verses you quoted: “Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with their whole heart” (Psalm 119:1-2). We cannot look at the first part of the text and not that last part “who seek Him with all their heart”. At this point I want to quote another verse where Jesus is praying for himself, his disciples and all believers yet to be born again. John 17:3 “Now this is eternal life: That they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”

    I was the perfect young Christian lady… even in high school. All my classmates will be able to vouch for that… But it wasn’t after working so hard, unceasingly, for so many years, for God and the church, that the Lord woke me up from that immense PRESSURE to be perfect and holy etc. I was exhausted and empty despite reflecting Him so well to everyone around me. THIS is not His desire. This is NOT what He saved us for.

    We preach so many many many many things… THINGS and principles and what we ought to be doing, saying, thinking, preaching….

    Just preach Jesus.
    Know Jesus.

    He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.
    He is the Vine.
    He is the tree of life.
    Eat of Him and you will bear fruit in abundance.
    Eat of Him and you will be fully loved and accepted and complete beyond your greatest hopes.

  • FemmeFreak

    “Seductive pose” is such a vague term. You could post a picture standing tall, arms at the side and frowning and still men might think things. So why put the onus on the woman, especially when they are all made up concepts anyway?

  • MtnGirl

    I have seen two young girls post 30 pictures or more at one time of just the two of them on FB making faces and sticking out their tongues. My question always is “Why? Why do this?” There’s nothing attractive about it…

  • jdm8

    “Disclaimer: The image used at the top of this blog is not what we would consider a “seductive selfie.” We chose not to publish a photo of a sensual/seductive girl for obvious reasons.”

    Why not just go without a photo, if you already acknowledge said photo is misleading to the point of your story?

    We also don’t know what your idea of seductive is, and only have one clear example of what you don’t think is seductive.

  • reformedfundy

    Seductive: Adjective.
    tending to seduce; enticing; beguiling; captivating: a seductive smile.(Dictionary. c om)
    : sexually attractive
    : making someone do or want something : very attractive

    : tending to seduce
    : having alluring or tempting qualities(Merriam-Webster)
    “Seductive is an adjective that describes the
    fascinating magnetic pull that someone or something has, an attractive
    quality that tempts you in some way.
    A seductive person catches your eye and won’t let it go. The word comes from the Latin seducere,
    meaning “draw aside.” When someone draws your attention aside from
    whatever you’re doing, that is a seductive person. Radio people often
    have seductive voices that lull you to sleep, and stores put their most
    seductive items in the front window in hopes that you’ll be tempted to
    come inside and buy them.”-Vocabulary. c om

    So,
    what exactly is a “seductive selfie”? I gather that the idea is that it
    is a selfie that is somehow seductive to viewers. But what precisely
    does it mean? I see the disclaimer that this picture is not meant to be
    an example of a “seductive selfie”(and it’s not a selfie at all), but
    one could say that the subject of the photograph is in fact seductive.
    It may not be “blatant” seduction, as one might think of the term, but
    it is more seductive than not. Perhaps we are confusing the term
    ‘seductive’ with the term ‘sexy’? I’m not entirely certain of what
    exactly the “seductive selfie” is supposed to mean. I’d really like to
    try to figure this out, because I’m having difficulty understanding
    this.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thx for sharing your thoughts ReformedFundy. The point of the article is about pictures that CHRISTIAN girls take of themselves that appear to be seductive/sexual/sensual etc. I can’t give you a black and white list of every pose/image that is seductive. Let me just say this: As a girl, I knew exactly what I was doing when I took pictures that were hot/sexy/seductive looking. Let’s be real here – it’s hard to accidentally take a seductive photo of yourself and post it online.

      • DameDurdin

        That YOU knew is not blanket for every other girl in the Christian-o-sphere. There are some VERY sheltered girls out there. You cannot assign your motives to any other person.

        • NotIgnorant

          For what it’s worth, I was raised in what some would call a very sheltered home. I don’t resent it for a minute. But even though I was sheltered (no tv, homeschooled, etc.), I knew exactly what sexy and seductive were. Kids who are raised in sheltered homes aren’t blind or ignorant. Even though my family didn’t welcome ungodly things into our home, that didn’t mean I wasn’t exposed to them.

          I agree with GirlDefined that Christian girls know when they take a seductive selfie. I believe that God will put a check in our hearts when we do something that doesn’t please him. That’s part of living a godly life, is knowing how to listen to him in those situations. Today, however, I don’t think He normally needs to tell us when we’re being sexy, because most people aren’t ignorant about that topic. :)

      • reformedfundy

        Thanks for the response. I’m just kind of struggling here to figure this out. I mean, the entire idea of selfies are kind of lame, to me, and I can’t say that I have ever seen a seductive selfie. Now, I have seen some regular photos that have been obviously meant to be seductive, but I’m just not understanding all of this yet. Some photos may be seductive but aren’t meant to be seductive, while others have the intention of being just that. I see young, single ladies post photos that may have more of a seductive style, but it seems often that the young ladies in question are just imitating other poses they have seen that they think are attractive, and they aren’t intending to be seductive(at least, I don’t think they are trying to be seductive…but what do I know?). On the other hand, I’ve seen married (Christian)women posting fancy shots that are intended to be seductive, that they had taken privately for their husbands but decided to crop the shot around the face so they could use it as a profile pic(yeah, they publicly posted that this photo had been intended just for the hubby but they wanted to show off I guess). I’m just not sure that the “seductive selfie” is necessarily an intention action. But then again, if I think the photo is seductive and I go on record saying that, I’ll get called a perv and unfriended, so I don’t really bother to ascribe motives unless it’s blatant, and then I just keep my mouth shut.

        • http://bellebrita.com/ Brita Long

          I definitely remember being in middle school and doing “modeling shoots” with disposable cameras with my friends. We gave each other “makeovers” and borrowed each others clothes. I can’t speak for their inner intentions, obviously, but we were not trying to be sexy. We were playing the teenage version of dress-up and taking pictures of each other. Our makeup looked awful because we didn’t know how to do it. Our hair was hit or miss (crimping, anyone?). And our poses just looked silly. But I’m sure some adults would look at those old pictures and see teenage girls trying to be sexy. We didn’t even know what sexy was yet!

  • India Wilkes

    I think men in suits are seductive. Should men not pose for pictures in suits? Should I, as a woman, not lust? I’m so confused.

  • joshua

    I think the photo up top is super sexy. The smoldering eyes and all that.

    I don’t think you know what you think you know of the terms ‘seductive’ and ‘selfie’.

  • Glory

    I hope you are not getting discouraged by the comments blasting. This shows the magnanimity of the issue. Yes we were naked when God made us, but they knew no sin then. In other words, to think otherwise of a naked body. You are spot on on an issue that most people wouldn’t talk about to be correct politically. The basic idea for anyone trying to live a Godly life is – how does this pic glorify God? I come from a Hindu country. So to keep it from a non-christian perspective, the thoughts are – Would my parents and family love to see this pic or would they be embarassed? No beleif system in the world, Hindu, Christian, Muslim, Buddhism or the 100 other encourage seduction on a public platform – It’s not always about Christians – It’s about modesty and dignity! Maybe we can see the truth of the problem if we forget for a second that a christian is talking about it. All this being said, I am a Christian.

  • Andrea

    God blessed me and my husband with 5 sons, so I don’t know how it is to raise daughters. I so agree with your post on this subject. I’m doing a Bible study right now by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian entitled “True Woman 101: Divine Design.” It is so good to point out that God had specific roles and responsibilities in mind when He created man and woman. Each one is supposed to reflect God’s glory. Everyone’s definition of “beautiful” is different, and if young girls and women only look to magazines, Hollywood, and other social media to determine to their beauty, many will be feeling left out and anything but beautiful. Every girl and woman wants to look pretty on the outside, but God points out that it is gentle and quiet spirit that truly defines beauty. We as Christian women must understand this truth for ourselves so we can step up to the plate and teach our daughters, granddaughters, and other girls and women in our lives what the definition of true beauty is. There is nothing more beautiful than to see a woman who is confident in who she is a creation of God. Thank you for sharing your insight in this matter.

    • DameDurdin

      I have four daughters. Hand-on-hip is not seductive. It’s irritation. Pouting is not seductive. It’s pouting.

      • momma of boys

        Well, I have 2 teenage sons. If your daughter is HOT with her hand on her hip and a pouty look, then trust me…. they aren’t wondering about her personality. They immediately think ” seductive”. If your daughter is plane, or overweight…. then you are correct it’s just a hand on a hip and just a pout and they will quickly look past her.

        You might not like this truth, BUT IT IS TRUTH and if you get mad about it, take it up with the creator who created our boys and men to be visually stimulated by seductive hot chicks.

        • http://Www.theirishatheist.wordpress.com/ The Irish Atheist

          Then maybe you should get your sons in line before you harp on other people’s daughters. I don’t give a damn what you think your idol did to boys. I doesn’t give you the right to shame girls for your children’s lack of control.

          • momma of boys

            This is not a women’s lib, women’s right issue. And as an atheist (according to your name) who likely worships at the throne of science, you of all people should know how science has PROVEN the biology of men. They are are visually stimulated as a means of procreation. Again… this is TRUTH. Always has been. Always will be. And if you don’t like THAT then take it up with the scientific community which is heavily influenced by an atheist point of view such as yours.

            By the way, I’m doing my part of getting my boys under control by raising them to save themselves for marriage. If only more mothers would raise their daughters to do the same we might not be having this discussion.

          • http://bellebrita.com/ Brita Long

            Science has also proven women are visually stimulated. Just FYI.

            And it’s pretty judgmental of you to just throw all parents of daughters under the bus like that. As a parent, you should know that you can do everything right and still have your kids screw up.

      • 5in7

        Your daughters frequently take pictures of themselves when irritated & pouting? Weird.

  • Msdee

    Some pics have purpose other than trying to seduce or get attention. Remember it’s the motives behind your actions and the intent of your heart. Some aspire to be models, and their pics are just that. Selfies with tongues hanging out, crawling the floor, touching certain body parts , are what we called “seductive” and sending subliminal messages. The women in the bible were beautiful as God ordained them to be. If you are convicted, Then evidentially your motives were off and God has to shut that down quickly

  • Brian

    You don’t have to have your whole body in a shot for a selfie to be sexual looking. A selfie of you biting your lower lip with a serious face and an eyebrow raised can be just as sexual and provocative as some pose. It’s all about your motive and attitude.

    • M

      Then I am waiting on the article that demeans guys and accuses teenage boys of not living rightly when they post ‘provocative’ selfies, with their hand on their jeans and no shirt while they’re biting their lip and looking “seductively” up at the camera.

  • ninjadude14

    Hey, clearing something up for the people who don’t like to actually READ THE ARTICLE!!!! They are NOT saying every SEXY OR SEDUCTIVE looking post was the result of SINFUL INTENTIONS!!! They are addressing the HEART PROBLEM behind MANY of the pictures. And yes we as CHRISTIANS do not expect UN-SAVED people to BEHAVE as Christian’s. They may have MORALS but not the power to uphold them that comes only from God.

    • ninjadude14

      I wrote that in caps so it would catch eyes BTW. I’m not mad.

    • JEH

      Right but various parts of the article come across as generalizations… For example:

      “It’s a sign of a girl who is longing for something more. It’s a sign of a girl who is trying to fill up her affirmation tank through the praises and compliments of her friends. A girl who craves attention from guys and hopes they’ll notice one of her pictures. A girl who wants to appear confident, but is weak and lonely on the inside. A girl who enjoys seducing guys by making them “want what they can’t have.”

      Just because the author is a girl and posted pictures of herself for these reasons does not mean that others also post pictures for these reasons. I think there is truth to this (above) for sure, but some girls post pictures because they like the way they look. Sometimes those photos are a sign of a girl who actually IS confident, strong. I just dislike some of the tone that came across in the article. Everyone is different.

      • http://bellebrita.com/ Brita Long

        This is a really great point. My avatar is a selfie! My hair and makeup are done, I’m wearing a nice top and necklace. I took it right before my birthday party because I rarely dress up and wanted to share a nice picture of myself on Twitter. I was also so happy to have bounced back after a recent ER visit, and I wanted to capture that joy! But you can’t gather all of that just by looking at my picture, and you can’t assume all girls/women who post selfies are doing so for identical motivations.

  • Ryan Crosswhite

    To who’s God are they referring to the Jewish Jesus that everyone speaks of in all protestant churches, Or are they referring to the many Gods of the Hindu culture or the God that the entire Muslim community devotes themselves to. For all who relate this article to the Protestant God in their Bible go thru and read the book of Leviticus and then measure yourself up to that, then see where you stand in the eyes of your GOD.

    • Steph

      Leviticus is of the old covenant. Please understand the whole thing before you go throwing the second book at people, thinking you know all theological concepts about Our God.

      • Ryan Crosswhite

        I have forgotten more about your bible than you will ever know, or hope to know, in your life

  • Kelly

    I’m a teenage girl myself surrounded by this everyday, from non-Christian and Christian friends. I see the inside heart of many of those girls. Sometimes it’s hard not to conform to the standards around you, because you see the IMMEDIATE reward they get. They are sacrificing tomorrow on the alter of today. It’s an openly and unashamedly narcissistic culture that continues to get worse. Stand up believers, start taking a stance.

    Thanks for the article, it was very encouraging and enlightening on some points.

    Btw I would agree that the photo on top definitely could be considered suggestive or sensual.

  • Melissa

    1. If you’re trying to say anything serious or useful and then say the word “selfie” in the same sentence, you already have lost me.
    2. Unless the girl is posing naked on her back on a bed made of condoms, you’re kind of just complaining pointlessly.
    3. Stop telling teenage girls you don’t know that they’re wrong or something. They have parents. That is not you.
    4. If you can’t handle a chick biting her lip in a picture on the internet then you should go smash your computer right now cause you cannot handle anything let alone the internet
    5. I wish I read that chapter in the bible where God speaks against seduction selfie-taking. Sounds like an excellent read.

    • Julie

      Does it not bother you that teenagers are posting photos of themselves for attention? What is so wrong with telling them they are beautiful without having to be “sexy”. And, since when has it been appropriate, much less okay in God’s eyes to post sexy when you are underage and not married. I believe this author does a fabulous job taking up for the Lord, and if you read your Bible you will know that there is no Chapter in the Bible about not taking seductive selfies, because it is all throughout the BIBLE!!!! God tells us to be pure, to act pure, to be a good woman. How will a husband feel one day, when he is going through his wives pictures on FB and see the seductive poses? Knowing those photos were not for him… Is there no sanctity in marriage anymore?

      • Melissa

        No it doesn’t “bother” me. I have no right to be bothered by stranger teens that don’t know me. How dare you try and shame a stranger with a horrendous and illogical accusation. Why would you ever have a facebook if it was not for some form of attention? You posting this comment is declaring to me that you want my attention. A SELFIE IS A PICTURES OF YOURSELF, TAKEN BY YOURSELF. What is it supposed to mean? Is a selfie a philosophical statement?

        Also if any husband had a problem with that we must all promptly pitch in to buy his a “worst husband ever” trophy because he would verily deserve it

  • common sense

    This is not a women’s right issue. This is an issue of promoting purity with the Insta-Twitter-Tech generation and guiding these young men and women away from the over sexed culture they were born into.

  • Apple

    Oh, please! There is a middle ground for almost everything. It depends on the photo, who’s posting it (and what age), and the context. Little girls have no business being sexy in any way; teens should be handled differently. To me this blog post screams “Oh look at me and how holy I am and how much better than you I am.” Count how many times you use “I” in your blog, and then tell me you are putting all the intention on God…

    • Apple

      *attention

      • http://joshblog.cc/ Josh Fowler

        Well said

    • DA

      “Little girls have no business being sexy in any way; teens should be handled differently”…what?! (o.O) Please tell me what possible legitimate reason a teenager would have to take “sexy, seductive” pictures and put them online? Who are they trying to attract? Godly men? At 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17 years old? The issue Kristen was trying to address is the reasoning behind why girls put up these types of photos. A seductive selfie, in contrast to a regular selfie, can get hundreds and even thousands of likes. So then that poor girl’s needs for affirmation get temporarily fulfilled by people who (for the most part) don’t give a hootenanny about the girl’s mind, soul, or character :-/ If I were you I would ask myself why this article bothered me so much. If there’s something you need to change (assuming you’re a Christian) then change it :-) Lastly, to imply that using the pronoun ‘I’ somehow diminishes the intention of this article to address God’s best for Christian women is nonsensical. The girls who author this website have done their best, in all of their posts, to point readers back to God’s will and God’s best for their lives.

      • Apple

        I did NOT say teen girls should be posting sexy pictures online. Read my comment again. I said there is a difference between what is appropriate for different ages. If parents don’t want to parent their children according to their age and maturity level then maybe we should just put all girls and women in berkas. (Yes, that would be sarcasm.) Who gets to define what is sexy or seductive? For instance, the author used the photo at the top expressly because it “isn’t a seductive selfie,” yet I believe it is. For that matter, who is letting their 13-year-old daughter on social media without supervision?? And I stand by my comment about the narcissism in this post.

        • Apple

          Further, I strongly disagree with the article’s implication that all non-Christians are running around all willy nilly with no way to follow their own moral compass, or that this is a non-issue for them. Geez.

        • DA

          I’m sorry, but by starting off your sentence with “Little girls have no business being sexy in any way” you implicitly suggest that teens DO have situations where they can be sexy (and post sexy selfies). Yes, parents should supervise their kids; but, if kids are raised well, then chances are they’ll make the right choices even when their parents are absent. The problem is, these girls have a heart problem. That’s all Kristen was suggesting. If a Christian girl consistently posts seductive selfies then yes, there’s something going on internally that needs to be addressed. Also, I agree with you that different people may have different opinions on what is considered “seductive.” But I also believe that if we randomly gathered 100 people to identify seductive selfies, there would be much agreement on which pictures are seductive based on the characteristics of the photo (e.g., heavy eye makeup, hand on hip, parted lips, the eyebrow raise, etc.). Lastly, feel free to believe what you want. I will do the same. In my personal opinion, there was *nothing* narcissistic about this post. The author had no qualms about discussing the times she and her sister posted seductive selfies, and analyzed the reasonings behind this, before suggesting a remedy for it.

  • Lyonsden

    Thank you for putting this in print. God has called us, as His children, to walk in Holiness as He is Holy. It’s difficult to walk that way in this world if you use the culture around you as your plumb-line. As a follower of Christ we are to imitate Him. Thank the Lord that we have His Word to guide us and instruct us. We are to reflect Him not the world culture around us which changes with each generation and with each region. He never changes. Look up girls!

  • JulieK

    Fact: there are seductive selfies being posted.
    Fact: Some of these are posted by Christian girls, women, men, boys.
    Fact: we’re never going to all agree on what is or is not seductive, but seductive selfies are happening to various degrees.
    Fact: modesty is partly about the visible/physical and partly about the heart/intent/spiritual
    Fact: I think it would be super hard to UNINTENTIONALLY take a seductive photo (not saying impossible but… come on, let’s be honest here). While yes, SOME men will be allured and tempted to lust over a simple and non-seductive photo/selfie, but MOST will be attracted to a purposefully seductive one and this is where each individual needs to examine their own heart about what their intention is for any action whether online or off. If the intention is “it’s all about me, lookie here” then that’s not modest, and it doesn’t further the Gospel. “I must decrease, He must increase.”
    *I don’t think the author of this post is trying to judge or define individual photos but more call attention to a trend we’re seeing, and ask us all to be mindful about intentions as Christians.* I think it’s a good reminder, take note, and think about it. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t worry about it!

  • MegletTX

    I feel like a lot of your commenters missed your point with their demands for what exactly a seductive selfie is. You KNOW when you take a picture what you’re trying to convey/achieve with said picture. It reminds me of the whole modesty debate. The second you try to say we should dress in a modest fashion everyone demands you tell them what your version of modesty is and it’s normally so they can tear it apart with why they are perfectly free to wear whatever they please. There are not always black and white rules to everything. That’s why we have the Spirit inside of us to direct our paths. The second we try to define for someone what modesty should be or what an inappropriate selfie is we begin to tread into legalism. If you are striving to seek the Lord and how He would have you live and behave then you will know for yourself what is right or wrong which may very well be different than someone else. I feel like the majority of the Christian walk is not about exactly what we do but the attitude behind what we do it. The hand on the hip could be a flattering angle for some of us (I’ve been taught this is a slimming trick by my photographer friends) but if I have the wrong attitude and kick my hip out just a little more with the right facial expresson then I go from an attractive pose to something more like come-hither. This is a reminder to all of us to give a second thought to how we are presenting ourselves to the world. Thanks for sharing!

  • LPNPA

    For those of you who are getting ignorant, angry and taking offense at this post and some of the more conservative replies: Maybe you should check your heart for the reasons WHY you are so offended! If you have nothing to be offended about, then you will not be offended! The truth of the matter is, a very worldly attitude and view of sensuality and sexuality has crept into this nation and, sadly, into our churches as well and the majority of you offended by this truth have obviously been affected or influenced by it!

    • andy ivy

      First, it’s ridiculous to assume that because we disagree with you, we’re offended by you.

      Second, there’s nothing wrong with being offended. Offense is not wrong. Jesus was offended by plenty of things.

      • LPNPA

        Really? If that is what you think then how little you know the Word! Jesus was never offended by anything and I dare you to find me ONE scripture that says so! As a matter of fact, the Word tells us the opposite! The seed of offence can be the root of bitterness that will produce the fruit of resentment!

        James 3:14-18
        14 But if you harbor in your hearts bitterness, jealousy and selfish ambition, don’t boast and attack the truth with lies! 15 This wisdom is not the kind that comes down from above; on the contrary, it is worldly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where there are jealousy and selfish ambition, there will be disharmony and every foul practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is, first of all, pure, then peaceful, kind, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 And peacemakers who sow seed in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

        Whenever the seed of the offence is sworn into you and you allow it to germinate into bitterness, with all the emotions in display, the fruit will always be resentment. People that are controlled by offense do what the Bible calls “the works of the flesh”. In Galatians, chapter five, Paul lists seventeen things as “works of the flesh” and nine things as “fruit of The Spirit. He says that flesh and Spirit are in conflict. And he urges us to live by The Spirit and not by the flesh.

        The Greek word translated “stumbling block” is “skandalon”, where we get the word scandal. It means “offense, stumbling block, or occasions to fall.” In other words, when we are offended, the door is open for us to stumble. Jesus makes it plain that we will have the opportunity to become offended at some point in our lives. When we offend, or are offended, the offense hinders our ability (becomes a stumbling block) to do what God has called us to do. James 4:17 “Therefore, to the one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James says that if we know the right thing to do and we choose not to do it, then we have crossed over into sin. That is what happens when we become offended, it changes how we would normally respond to situations and makes us susceptible to sinning.

        • http://Www.theirishatheist.wordpress.com/ The Irish Atheist

          Thank you for reminding me how glad I am that I left your horrifically abusive religion.

          • LPNPA

            Thank you for letting me know you left!

          • Morgan

            Really? You’re happy about that? Great example of Christ…

          • samantha88

            Wow its people like you that give Christianity a bad name. Aren’t you being a little judgemental? You are glad she left? Would jesus have done that? And to clarify…the only time Jesus ever went into a CHURCH he got pissed and tore it apart….do your research.

          • Angelica G

            I am a Christian, and your replies are so horribly NOT Christ-like. You need to pray for a quiet and gentle spirit that is precious in the sight of God.

          • Angelica G

            You should be ashamed of yourself, LPNPA, quoting God’s precious words with such anger and bitterness and being glad someone left church??? It’s people like you that MISREPRESENT Christ and scare people away. I am so grieved by your attitude, and I wonder how the Holy Spirit feels. “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

          • Morgan

            True Christians are never hate – filled. I’m sorry you’ve had run – ins with the fake ones.

          • http://Www.theirishatheist.wordpress.com/ The Irish Atheist

            Ah yes, the “No True Christian” fallacy.

            Sorry dear, who is and is not a ‘true Christian’ is not based on who embarrasses you.

          • Drake Tungsten

            If we christers would focus on [addressing/educating/exposing] the “fake ones” in our camp, we’d actually be getting somewhere and Xtianity might not be a widespread joke any longer.

          • Morgan

            I don’t really understand the point you were trying to make with your reply, but my apology still stands. You’ve obviously been hurt by someone claiming to be a Christian in your life, and that’s a shame. I truly believe that the worst enemies to Christianity are those claiming to be followers of Christ who spew hate and judgment in place of truth. You can think whatever you please about me, but it doesn’t change the sincerity of my sadness that someone hardened your heart so completely against God. I hope your life is filled with every happiness.

          • mc

            LOL you did it again. He was saying that you can’t brush off someone’s actions by saying “oh they weren’t a Christian.” How do you know that? What if they were a real Christian? Christians sin too. Are you trying to say that Christians are perfect and are never mean to other little kids on the playground? LOL

          • Carl Edward Jansen

            And stupid!

          • http://www.theq997.com Leslie Corinne Prieto

            oh please. if this is a “reason.” earth to you. this is an imperfect world. atheist or not, we’re all human. plus, it’s a free country where it’s ok to no agree with others but when you stereotype/judge, that only hurts you.

        • Morgan

          Matthew 24
          “Woe to you, scribes, Pharisees, hypocrites! For you the tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith; these you ought to have done, without neglecting others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel! … Woe to you, scribes, Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.”
          … sounds pretty angry to me… and not against the “sinners”. Perhaps it’s you who doesn’t know your Bible very well.

          • Morgan

            I suppose you’ve also forgotten about Him throwing the money changes out of the temple by overturning tables and whipping people. That’s a pretty passionate display for someone who was “never offended by anything”.

        • Annie Dote

          Wow! I applaud your exegetical gymnastics! Jesus was warning about te sin of being offended! Amaze balls that I need read it that way. I’d like to offer a teensy little observation though: you sound so irate, even angry. Is it possible you’re offended by the dissenting view? Just watch out for those seeds of bitterness, okay? If you let them grow they will cloud your judgment and you may find yourself writing a completely unsupportable piece of scripture fan fiction and then Jesus will cry.

          • Annie Dote

            Amaze balls that I *never read it that way

    • Drake Tungsten

      Hmm. . .I wonder whether the “very worldly attitude and view of sensuality and sexuality [that] has crept into this nation” has anything to do with all those Babylonian spells planted in the layout of Washington DC?

  • CC

    Maybe just a little more emphasis on how desperately we as Christians need the Holy Spirit to guide us in these decisions, and not just become “rule driven” about things. If I learn to ask Him every time I post a pic (ANY picture for that matter) and actually listen and obey what HE says, not what I think others will say or think (because what one might see as seductive, others might not) how amazing would that be!! Because after all there will always be people that find fault with what I do, but thankfully I don’t live to please people but my Lord. But I can’t even do that without being able to hear his voice.

  • annono237

    To answer your last question in the Let’s make it Personal paragraph…
    I’m tempted when I look through Instagram and see and old friend that likes a photo of mine. I opened her profile to see what she’s been up to and in all her pictures she was wearing a push up bikini and had beautiful long hair and she was all over her boy friend. She had 100-300 likes on each picture. It tempted me because I wanted to be that liked. I wanted everyone to think I was just as pretty. I wanted everyone to know me because of my beauty. Instantly my mindset changed from being a modest lady to wanting to spend $$$ on Victoria’s secret clothing. I went from loving all I had to feeling like I had nothing.

  • Angelica G

    We all go through seasons in life, we grow, we mature….that helps us show grace to others. We remember where we’ve been. We can be the most critical and judgmental about the very things we did ourselves and forget the grace and love that Christ showed us before we “grew up” out of those things. He is so gentle and wonderful. Maybe someone prayed about you (author) when you were in that phase. Maybe you’ve grown out of it because of someone else’s fervent, grieved prayers when they saw your “selfies”. I always try to think this way, examining my heart, when I see others in my “previous state”. It helps me gracious, kind, and it helps me talk to God first, before speaking out. Like you, I remember wanting the wrong kind of attention (I cringe now) and then growing past all of that. Now, thank Jesus, I have an amazing God-fearing, handsome man who married me because, in his words, “I was most attracted to you because I could see you feared God.” When I see these young girls posting pictures of themselves as you described, I crave and pray for them, for the very beautiful things God has given me. When they are fulfilled, they will no longer crave the wrong kind of attention. Lets pray for our generation….And I’m very careful around them, because they can sniff a judgmental, critical spirit in a millisecond. I know, because like you, I’ve been there!

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Great thoughts Angelica! Thanks so much for sharing.

  • Cocokemp

    I mean based on your anecdotal opening story it sounds like the image used at the top is actually what you would consider a seductive selfie. Just sayin.

    • Ally

      Yeah, I honestly thought that picture at the top of the article was not a seductive selfie, just a selfie.

  • Cindy D

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Church let’s show love and support. Nothing wrote was unbiblical or wrote from bitterness. Let’s not be so quick to eat or own. How can we love those Of this world when we cannot show love to each other.

  • Simone

    I am irked with my friends who post selfies all the time, seductive or not. I get tired of the charade and don’t bother to “like” them anymore, with rare exceptions if I really do like a pic. Sadly, I disagree with your one point about being happiest when we are living for God’s glory. Living that way takes…and I know how trite this sounds…”sacrifice and commitment.” It’s a hard road and not usually a happy one, in my opinion. I wish Christian mentors, speakers, leaders, and writers such as yourself would stop trying to make us think we’ll all be so HAPPY if we just do things God’s way. I don’t think anyone is buying it. I don’t really like the pic of the girl you put at the top. It’s half-seductive, half-virginal. I wish you had gone with seductive or nat all. The one you chose is just confusing and a little weird. Interesting article though and right for our times.

  • Indigo M.

    I think the term “seductive selfie” is a bit broad. True a picture of a man ( even though for some reason men weren’t found “guilty” of this “seductive selfie” epidemic) or woman seated with their crotch open to camera is a bit lewd, but a picture of soft smile can be seen as seductive to whomever is beholding it, or innocent to whomever is beholding it. To paraphrase the bible sin only happens when we are drawn in by our OWN lust and enticed…james 1:14 So someone else thinking a smile is seductive is their problem. I also think the wording of this article is more condemning than helpful. At least suggest ( with scriptures and pictures in tow) of what is an alternative, how can young MEN and women glorify their god with their appearance. And lets make it an egalitarian thing, not the lay all of the burden on women.

    • Drake Tungsten

      I once read something along the lines of “to the pure, all things are pure” or whatever. I dunno 😉

    • myglobalfamily

      I agree in some part in what you’re saying – the truth is, we all need to be responsible in our actions. But we also need to be mindful of others. This is a really hard pill for the world to swallow because our current society is all about the individual. The problem with the above line of thinking is that human beings are amazing at justifying whatever it is that they want to do. It’s why we have people standing outside of abortion clinics and heckling women in the name of Christ or why we have genocides and civil wars. People WILL find grounds; even Christians, will find grounds to please their own nature. The issue is that we are sinful by nature so we’re not always going to do the right thing. That’s why God gave us the body of believers to encourage and lift each other up and gave us the Holy Spirit so that we have that “still, small voice” to point us in the right direction.

  • MoiBelle

    Hey, I’ve got an idea. Put them all in burkas. That’ll solve everything and make all the men and self-hating women happy.

  • Drake Tungsten

    Maybe if they would just swoon more during Worship™, this wouldn’t be a problem =)

  • Radikal

    This is awesome! An article blasting girls about seductive what have you selfies but with a photo at the top of a girl trying her best to look beautiful by the standards of the world. Lip stick, ear rings, make up, jewelry, flower in the hair, pursed lips in a seductive manner. Seductive selfie? Nailed it.

  • Lisa

    The same guy that shared this article on Facebook was complimenting a really
    suggestive picture last week….. This article is good, but it can be taken in the wrong way by males encouraging macho behavior. In front of God they are responsible for their acts and thoughts.

  • Amy Elizabeth

    I am a teenager myself and I would not dare classify someone’s photo as seductive or not. Only God knows the intention of someone’s heart and I as a Christian have no right to judge because in all reality she is my sister in Christ and I have to love and cherish her regardless of not knowing her or not, or liking her or not. God created all of us, God created beauty so I believe that the fact that we can sit here and judge people that we do not know makes us ourselves ugly, not in the eyes of the world but in the eyes of Christ. These are our sisters that we are speaking so badly of, God knows who we are, he created us! He knows our path for he created it and I as a christian trust his ways and his intentions for us for he is my father and would never lead me down a path i will not be able to over come. I was reading comments and I was heart broken by the fact that we, as brothers and sisters, are arguing, arguing! Its ridiculous. We need to let God be God and let him lead!

    • Lauren

      As Christians, yes, we should strive to be unbiased and strive to not ‘judge’ others based on their appearances, we do have to judge to a point. We have to compare the circumstances to the unbiased facts given to us in the Bible. If God says that something is wrong, we are not judging by speaking out against it, we are simply declaring the word of God. However, we should share His word in a manner that is not harsh or hurtful. I do agree that arguing is ridiculous! :)

    • The King’s Daughter

      This is a general article, and not pointing out any one (or more) Christian sister in particular. If it were, I’d strongly suggest the application of Matthew 18 — before you talk to others about the wrongdoings of someone else, first pray about it and (gently) talk to the person in question. Sometimes we can develop a nice blind spot for our own sins, and we might need a Nathan in our lives (see King David’s story) to get us back on the right track.
      The difference, IMO, is in the intent: Do I say something to make myself feel better? Or is my intent to save my sister from the consequences of foolish behavior, or even sin? BTW, the latter should never “feel good”, according to Elyse Fitzpatrick (counselor, Bible teacher).

    • rawhide

      Thanks for chiming in Amy, but you are argumentatively judging the author and various commenters, no?

    • Tammy

      Amy Elizabeth, as Christians, we are to teach and guide each other….it’s one of our responsibilities on earth. Calling out something that is wrong is not “judging”…it’s simply calling it as it is, and either self-correcting yourself, or helping someone else get back on the righteous path-gently, guiding, lovingly.
      If you post a seductive selfie of yourself, and if I do the same…then if I criticize you for doing that very thing, THAT is unrighteous judging. It is our loving responsibility to guide someone so that we can all live the kind of lives that God would have us to live. We can’t be “hands off” off each other. Judging has been given a bad rap.

  • hvm

    Many
    times, someone who is fishing for compliments does so because they need that
    reassurance. Rather than classifying that as bad, let’s admit that most
    people feel this way at some point. It’s a human quality to want to be
    accepted. A bad day can be turned around with kind words, whether in
    regards to one’s appearance or another asset.

    When
    we post pictures of our children, are we not looking for compliments as
    well? Friends and family chime in with “she
    is so adorable!” and “he’s grown so much, such a great looking boy!”… No one posts pictures without the expectation
    of a response. That’s what social
    networking is all about.

    People
    who post pictures of meals that they’ve prepared, people who post pictures of
    their cars or trucks…. Everyone, in some
    way, is fishing for compliments. No one
    expects their friends and family to post mean or hurtful comments, right? Social networking is designed for people to
    show the world only what THEY want you to see.
    In many cases, one’s profile only highlights that which is going well in
    one’s life, while deliberately omitting that which is difficult or
    unpleasant. In a nutshell, social
    networking is supposed to make you FEEL GOOD.

    Now,
    that said, YOUNG girls and boys have no business posting anything seductive,
    period. But it’s more about their age
    than the fact that they’re Christian. Christian
    or not, parents should monitor their children closely, because of the dangers
    associated with social networking/ online usage. Women and men, on the other hand, have the
    right to post whatever they wish, and if someone feels that their posts are
    inappropriate, there’s a simple way to fix that. Unfriend them.

    In
    order to prevent teenagers from posing seductively, or posting other
    inappropriate content, parents and guardians must take responsibility, and
    guide these kids to make wise decisions.
    They must take the time to explain the potential repercussions
    associated with seductive posts, etc.

  • JEH

    Any issue about females, their bodies, their rights, their sexuality is a big deal. How we dialogue about these issues is a big deal. Sexism is all around. I don’t take anyone asserting opinions about women in general, about how they express themselves in images, about their reasons for doing so, lightly. I used to. And I used to share my own opinions carelessly. Until I had a professor that challenged me on this. So, I think the sarcastic comments are fitting and called for as a response to this article. I think it’s important to stay on our toes when we hear phrases like “Christian girls are fond of posting seductive selfies.” Generalizations are dangerous. Assumptions are dangerous. Asserting that females who post images that appear to be sensual do so for validation from men is a generalization, big time. I have been the girl voicing that girls do this for validation too. But I have come to understand that I can not generalize my own experience onto others. I don’t know something to be true just because it was true for me. And what is wrong with a person expressing their sexuality to some degree? What does it mean to be a sexual being? How would a mane expressing his sexuality be more tolerated than a woman? Why? Isn’t personhood mysterious and intertwined? Perhaps someone wants to express themselves emotionally and creatively and the image they create is art to them but others see this as “sensual”? Overtly erotic images are different from expressive, sensual images, I think. I do agree with what I see to be the heart of the message. Seeking validation through images is empty and superficial. Women have been hypersexualized in the media. Some of us have bought into this narrative and seek to live out the story we have been told about our worth and how we receive value (via our sexuality). If we want to educate men, women, girls, and boys, I suggest we change the conversation and dig in a little deeper.

  • Steph

    This is a website for christian girls. The author is just stating the fact that girls try to be suductive for “Likes” and it’s not a healthy:mentally or emotionally. The sexuality for attention mentality of our youth is not healthy, whether you want to look at it from a Christian or Physiological view. If you don’t like Christianity, you don’t have to read the Christian posts from these Christian authors on this Christian website. It’s that simple.

    • JEH

      I think reducing the adolescent experience as a female exploring her identity including her sexuality to a simplified “fact” that “girls try to be seductive” is an unhealthy mentality to have about young girls. I just don’t see these issues as simple.

      • Ray Herd

        That’s the trouble with a psychological fix.
        The solution to this problem is outside the scope of
        understanding to godless professionals.

        There appears unto man a way that is right but in the end destruction.
        “My way” does not cut it.
        There is another way; “God’s way”.
        If you stay “true to scripture” you can
        seek and find everything your heart will desire.

    • JEH

      And I am a Christian woman. And I love Jesus. And I appreciate the post and reading through the comments. Dialogue is meaningful.

  • Father and grandfather

    As a father of two young Christian women and a granddaughter, I applaud your article. While I disagree with some of the comments, the word seductive is very subjective. Would you not all agree that it could be defined as posing in a way that is intended to cause the opposite gender to have sexual or impure thoughts.
    The bible tells us that we should do nothing that would tend to cause our brothers to stumble. This should be what every Christian uses to determine if a picture or post is appropriate or not.

    I hope it is not offensive for a man to comment, and thank you for indulging me.

  • Ray Herd

    This could apply to young men as well.

  • ALorelle

    thank you for posting. this was wonderful and very insightful

  • justsomerandomguy

    I know thats not the point of the article but you’ve missed a “BE” in this sentence: “I know you want to blessed by God.” It’s right after Psalm 119:1-2, You may want to change it.

    I especially liked this one: “True joy and contentment won’t come through the applause of your friends, it will only come through obeying and honoring God.” and I’ve like to add that it’s not through the Obedience itself but through the joy God answears with.

    Be blessed everyone

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thx. All updated!

    • Zora Dawn

      *I’d like to add, you mean….

    • Spellchecker

      Since you are correcting shouldn’t that be answers?

  • Meghan

    what qualifies as a “seductive” selfie? simply not smiling? or flaunting cleavage, being immodest, Etc.?

    • Cal

      does your face look like you are looking at your father, mother, gramps, or a small child, or you are in the midst of a bunch of girl buds…..in contrast to an arched back, pouting lips, or goofy Miley tonguasaursus. Take the article as gentle loving guidance of a big sis. LOL Blessings!

      • Cal

        Don’t know you Meghan, but upon reviewing the example photo in the article, I think it if perfectly fine. It is not sinful to make yourself look nice with clothes, jewelry, make-up.

  • Christina

    My selfies look similar to the picture of the girl above the article, but I don’t take them that way to be seductive. I have braces, and I hate them, so by pursing my lips like that, I can cover them without looking mean. If I come off as seductive, that was never the intention. Many girls hate their smiles, want to take photos with varying facial expressions, etc., but by reducing their intent to trying to be seductive, you are demonizing their innocent intentions.

    We never address young men taking shirtless selfies, even though they usually have seductive intentions. I know this is a female Christian youth website, but this article article addresses things Christian girls have heard for centuries: you must dress and act in a way so that your brothers in Christ will not fall (while your brothers are never held to the same standard).

    God bless.

    • Grant

      The young men taking shirtless selfies are most likely not Christians. And in my experience, young Christian men are indeed held to the same standards; they might not be as obvious though.

      • LutheranChick

        Wait, so, you can determine with near-flawless accuracy whether someone is a Christian based entirely on what you’ve seen them do in one picture? Poor old St. Paul must not have been a Christian, I guess…

        “So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” – Romans 7:21-25

        • Drake

          You completely misunderstood the point they are trying to make. He is not saying that a guy posting a shirtless selfie makes him no longer a Christian, but that you will rarely find a truly Christian guy that feels the need to post a shirtless selfie. Given there are exceptions to the rule such as insecure guys who look for validation from their friends just as Christian girls who take seductive selfies, but in large part, most guys taking seductive selfies are not Christians. Also those verses are completely irrelevant to guys taking shirtless selfies.

  • Chris

    Excellent! As a mom beyond being tempted to post selfies I am still challenged by your call to make sure all my posts point to God and not to me. Thank you.

  • Evania

    I don’t agree with all the points written about but the article did it’s job in making me think.Definitely food for thought!I think sometimes in the christian world we get so caught up in treating the symptoms of our problems instead of the real deal. I agree seductive selfies are a symptom of a greater issue; why don’t we look at that and see how the root problem should be dealt with?

  • Mandy

    A woman can look beautiful without looking “seductive” BUT sometimes beauty IS seductive. I mean, no man is going to look at his wife and say, “You are beautiful, but I am not tempted by you..” So whether we refrain from the “seductive selfies” or not… as God’s creation and as women in a fallen world, beauty is going to gain attention, no matter what form it takes and no matter what the motive is behind the picture. I say enjoy being beautiful and try not to cross the “over-doing it line” which looks different for different people.

  • Laki

    Excellent article! It’s easy to feel offended by a Word from God, but when we feel that “pricking” in our hearts, we need to accept this Word and allow God to correct this flaw in our Christian character. You don’t have to analyze your pics or the definition of “seductive” to know whether you are posting a seductive pic; deep down, you already know if you are. We are representatives of Christ in word and deed (and picture). The Bible says we are epistles/letters read and known by all. What does your letter say?

  • Rollie Barnes

    I am definitely proud to hear such a great tool for young and old ladies. It is great information and conviction to those who want to change but do not see what you see.

    I do have this one thing, the picture above is seductive in many ways. I am a guy and most guys would see this as seductive just because her lips are did up, her face is did up and her eyes are did up very nicely. But i understand, you wanted to keep the audience engaged so you tried to find one that closely resembled the opposite of your blog. But hey, at least you are trying to help. I would have chosen a not so much attractive woman, or made it more in a cartoonist way to keep the audience engaged but leaving no room for someone to question the picture and forget the information.

  • Zee

    Not this again. What is “modest” is subjective, man-made, cultural, and subject to change. Several hundred years ago it was immodest to show your ankles. Today in the Middle East it is immodest to show your hair.

    If God demands modesty, do you think God would leave proper female behavior and modesty up to the whim of human beings? God doesn’t decide what is modest. People do.

    Funny how I *never* see a Christian article talking about how men dress immodestly. How they go to the gym and obsess too much over being ripped and wear shirts that are too tight to show off their muscles. I never see an article talking about how men post seductive selfies with their shirts off. No one tells THEM “modest is hottest” or to think about what they are trying to attract. And men do ALL of these things on a regular basis.

    Somehow, it’s only important for women to be “modest”. Somehow even today, female sexual purity is more emphasized than male sexual purity. And it’s all a crock. There is nothing wrong with celebrating and showing off the female form. NOTHING.

    • Joseph A. Nagy, Jr

      No, it’s important for men to be modest, too.

    • rawhide

      Good question Zee, indeed what does “modest” mean? It has less to do with how much flesh is revealed and more to do with one’s motivation for an action. Look it up. Your other question about articles on boy selfie isn’t quite as good, because this site is girldefined and because it is much less of an epidemic among boys. Girls and boys are different. But go ahead and write the essay you think is lacking; unless, as I perceive, you don’t think it is a problem for them to show off their “form.”

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for joining the discussion Zee. We agree that the Bible doesn’t give us a clear cut set of rules on what modest clothes should look like. However, it does promote the principles of inward and outward modesty throughout Scripture. We’re called to be different than our godless culture, pure in every way, not causing anyone to stumble, using our lives to point others to Christ, not drawing attention to ourselves, etc. When a person has a true desire and passion to honor God, they will carefully consider how they act and what they wear. Here at GirlDefined we are promoters of sexual purity and modesty for guys and girls. In fact, we wrote a blog called “Are Shirtless Guys Okay to Look At?” Check it out here: http://www.girldefined.com/shirtless-guys-at

    • The King’s Daughter

      It depends on where one looks, Zee. If looking at blogs by women, _for_ women, then I guess the focus would be mostly on the women’s side or part of things. There are a bunch of Christian males posting, and they _do_ post on modesty of males as well. However, I don’t read those that much. 😉

  • Jim Rubinate

    Zee, Modesty is not subjective to God. Check out the book of Proverbs. The downfall of a lot of men were due to suggestive, immodest behavior of women.

    • Lmart

      The downfall of a lot of men…were due to THOSE men.

    • Erica

      Um I can’t even! Man’s impurities are due to man’s lack of self control. It’s this belief and “braineashing” thats led to such a huge epidemic today of u responsible young men. They grew up with the church pointing all the blame on the women. They’ve never been taught to take responsibility for themselves. This is why when teenage girls get knocked up from said impurities the boys quickly flee, why should they take responsibility for.a kid they helped create when it was all her fault anyways? It’s sick. Men it’s time to grow up and just realize that y’all are lustful beings, God designed you that way, and we as women could strut around in nuns uniforms and your minds would still wonder. Why do you think the nuns always ran the “orphanages” 😉

  • Shelley

    My problem with this is that it narrowly focuses on the danger of “seductive selfies”, missing the real issue, and focusing on something that is just a symptom. And that is self-esteem and a positive body image. We have cropped ourselves out of existence, and turned our lives into digital productions. Nobody wants to look like a unique version of themselves anymore, so they find their best angle and take a million of the same picture (in different outfits, with a slightly different setting). Why do they do this? Because they need the outside validation of showing the world what they wish they look like, and not what they actually look like.

    And the Christian culture wants to cover up this complete lack of self-esteem with the term “immodest”, and a list of things not to do and not to wear. Instead of teaching girls that they are beautiful and have value, Christianity says “cover it up, or you’re sinning”. This holds no weight, and is completely focused on simply rules-not truth. If I’m going to do what the Bible says, it is going to be because I understand the truth behind it, not because some arbitrary interpretation tells me that’s what God means. I don’t post a bunch of stupid, pouty-lipped pictures of myself because I know that I am worth something. I know that there is more to me than my body and face. And I don’t need to change my appearance, or put one monotone version of myself before the public eye to believe that.

    Instead of promoting a positive self-image, the Christian world would have you feel guilty for what really just stems from a desire for approval. The internet and social media are full of crap. Boys will find half-naked pictures if they want to. Who cares if one of those picked over images has a face that looks kind of like you (through a filter, and from an angle that makes your chin look the best)? The real problem is not about having access to immodest images. The problem is that girls feel that they need that validation, and they will lose themselves trying to find it. The result: painfully annoying narcissism.

    Instead of “change your immodest ways”, I believe in “teach women to have the courage to value who they are”.

    • rawhide

      Write your own article then, Shelley. This article definitely focused on the heart issue of seeking approval of others, but it pointed out a “symptom” seen in many young women to “diagnose” the malady. From a quick glance at the article, I don’t see that the author even used the term “immodest,” that being said are we not allowed to use the term “immodest” anymore? And when did the term “immodest” come to mean only “showing too much flesh”? It has a broader meaning.

      • Shelley

        I was under the impression that this was a discussion (as stated above under “join the discussion”), and it was my intention to contribute. I’m sorry if this offended you. Your opinion is noted, rawhide. Just so you are aware, though, my interpretation of your first sentence is that my thoughts and opinions are not welcome here.

        • rawhide

          Shelley, my comment was certainly terse, and this is indeed a discussion (Sometimes there are terse comments in a discussion). My point was that you seemed to be criticizing the author for something she didn’t say as if you had cut and pasted your comment from some other context or just were triggered to fire of your critical comment based on something you expected her to say. And, just so you are aware, if I were the author I would have taken offense at your comment. 😉 To “contribute” is different than to tear down in my opinion.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Hi Shelly, thanks so much for chiming in. Although we would have loved to dive deeper into the root issues of seductive selfies, there just isn’t enough time to cover everything in one short blog post. We are actually not fans of teaching Christian girls the idea of “self-esteem” because it doesn’t solve any true problems. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert self-esteem won’t help anyone because: “1. Self-esteem is based on what we do and how we behave. 2. Self-esteem is based on how we feel about ourselves. 3. Self-esteem is based on what we think about ourselves. 4. Self-esteem is based on how we’re doing compared to others. 5. Self-esteem is based entirely on judgments, whether from others or from ourselves.” Instead of promoting something that is impossible to maintain and easily destroyed, we promote “self-worth” instead. Our worth isn’t found within ourselves or what people think about us, it’s only found in Christ. Who we are in Christ sums all of the worth we will ever need. Apart from him, we are nothing. We are promoters of modesty for girls and guys because the Bible has a lot to say on the topic of purity. When a person publicly uncovers their most intimate body parts, they devalue their sexuality and mock God’s design. Biblical modesty shows value and worth to a person’s body and respects God’s design for sexual purity. We need more of that. Check out our post called, “The Naked Truth About Why We Wear Clothes” http://www.girldefined.com/naked-truth-wear-clothes

  • Bruna Bugana

    Hello! We’re Brazilian and we have a blog. Can we translate it and post it? Of course, with the credits. Our blog is related to presbiterian teenagers and we just post things about christianity.
    Thank you!

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Absolutely! Go for it.

      • Bruna Bugana

        Thank you!!!

  • GrowingGrace

    ever since the garden, man has blamed woman for his own sin.

    • Leahcim Nabohc

      and you say that excuses the woman’s sin?

      • The King’s Daughter

        Nowhere in her one-liner did she say that. Just pointing out where the blame game started.

        • Tammy

          God’s not playing a “blame game”. He wants us ALL to be responsible for our actions.

  • Drew

    Girls seek attention by taking sexy pictures of themselves and posting them online?

    no way

  • Melissa Rhyne

    Oh my, look at all the disagreement and name-calling. I hope we can all agree that calling attention to yourself instead of to your Savior is never the goal of a believer, and that sometimes it requires an article like this to help us reset our compass. It’s a good point. Let’s just take it for that. :-)

  • Strom

    This post is straight Truth. Thank you for posting this. A great “temperature reader” of current contemporary (and Christian!) culture.

  • dt

    Actually the Bible does define how we are to dress. In Genesis 3:21 God made garments to cover the nakedness of Adam and Eve after they had sinned. The Hebrew word used there could also be translated “tunics” which was a garment that covered the body from the neck to the knees. Pretty specific.

  • benice

    Praise be to God for this blog. Got to share this out.
    Im really blessed by the message. Godbless you more.

  • Concerned Christian Chick

    I shared this to a Facebook group called Modern Modesty where this trend is shockingly rampant. I was shocked and saddened to see a page that is supposed to be all about modesty remove the link and threaten to ban me. God help us!

  • Em

    I agree that posting a picture only to draw inappropriate attention to yourself is wrong and that God commands us to be pure in our thoughts and intentions. However, when I first read this and saw the picture at the top, I immediately assumed that you were implying that any picture taken where a girl is not smiling and looking strait at the camera was a “Seductive Selfie”. The picture at the top helped contribute to this thought–Since then I read the disclaimer at the bottom and realized you were not calling it a “Seductive Selfie”.

    I am a photographer, and I work very hard to make sure my pictures are clean and help represent who that person really is, instead of how “Hot” she is. I really hope people take are not so quick to deliver judgment on girls and instantly label a picture she posts of herself as a “Seductive Selfie” even if it is just a picture where she is not smiling.

  • Nikki

    If this is read with a true, self-evaluating heart it cannot be denied. Good blog post. Very convicting.

  • Joe Jordan

    Are you saying that pic is seductive? If so bad example.

    • Guest

      Can you read lol? There is a Disclaimer….

  • LutheranChick

    Hmm…well,
    yeah. But: It’s natural – and Scriptural – for women to want to be
    beautiful and draw the attention of men – see Song of Solomon, or Rachel
    and Jacob, or even the New Jerusalem, “like a bride adorned for her
    husband”. There’s nothing ungodly about wanting to be pretty.

    Unfortunately,
    much of American Christianity simply skips past all
    that to say, “It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, God
    loves the inside” which is true, of course, but…I think it makes
    girls/women of all ages – and especially the young who are just figuring
    all this out – feel like wanting to be beautiful is wrong, and so they
    don’t know how to manage those desires, and so we end up with seductive
    selfies. Personally, I was told “you don’t want boys to look at you
    like that” so many times as a teenager that the first time a guy
    actually did “look at me like that” and tell me I was beautiful, I
    reacted against it – I was “bad” and “wrong” for having attracted that
    sort of attention. Honestly, it has taken me a *long* time to not feel
    guilty for feeling pretty.

    What
    if the reason Christian girls post seductive selfies is not because
    they aren’t obeying Jesus enough, but because no one has taught them to
    be *appropriately* beautiful? Maybe we could teach our girls how to be pretty, how to dress modestly-but-fashionable, how to wear makeup and do their hair tastefully, how to enjoy the feel of a mani-pedi…maybe then they could be confident in their beauty – as God intended them to be!

    • Tammy

      LutheranChick,
      I think your last paragraph hit the nail on the head. In this day and time, clothes are SO tight….all I ever see teens wear are skinny jeans…cleavage is at an all-time high…and many times, mothers “compete” with their daughters-although I’m betting they would deny it, outwardly. So many of the teens I see don’t seem to have that moral compass-it has to come from home, from the parents.

  • David Duncan

    Selfies alone are fine and do not mean a person is self-centered or narcissistic. Normal behavior. If there are other issues that support abnormal behavior that is a different matter. People LOVE to judge. It takes the spot light off of their sin.

    • Tammy

      But, wouldn’t you agree that there is much more narcissism in this day than….even 10 yrs. ago (before social media and phones with cameras)? I think technology has a big part in this. I would not call this issue “normal behavior”. And, I don’t believe it’s judging….you have to realize what the issue/wrong/sin is, in order to teach and guide others away, and to check your own self. As Christians, we are to teach and help each other-on the path to how God wants us to live.

      • David Duncan

        I do certainly feel that media influence is very much involved in the development of teens as is peer influence. I also believe parental influence could be just as influential if provided in a lot of cases. I also believe this behavior is often unconscious behavior in teenage girls even though it is highly influenced externally as we mentioned. Thank you Tammy for the discussion, some very good points.

  • Jy

    This makes me sad. Do people sit around and think of new and improved ways to shame girls? Why are you focusing on a “symptom”? Maybe we should spend our time telling girls that they are smart, valuable, and loved by the Creator of the Universe and the “symptom” will go away.

    • http://bellebrita.com/ Brita Long

      Practically from infancy, girls are bombarded with the message that their looks are their most valuable feature. Christians are not immune to spreading this message. At church, we compliment little girls on their pretty dresses, their pretty hair bows, their pretty shoes. If girls don’t receive a message from Christians to counter the media’s objectification of women, then how will they actually learn they are smart, valuable, and loved by God? I’m always encouraged to read comments like yours that recognize the answer doesn’t come from shaming teenage girls.

    • Lynell Tiller

      Agreed!

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for adding to the discussion Jy. The fact is, feeling ashamed about something isn’t a bad thing. We’re all sinners and we WILL do things that don’t honor God. It’s good to feel ashamed about that. It’s also a good thing to be challenged and encouraged by one another in certain areas of life because we all have blind spots. We have written other bog posts that focus primarily on encouraging girls in how much God loves them (One example here: http://www.girldefined.com/call-beautiful), but we need a balance or we wont grow. We all need encouragement and exhortation.

  • myobpls@charter.net

    We’ve seen enough skin…modesty’s back in!

  • Shawn Swander

    “As Christian girls, God calls us to a much higher standard”. Yes, but I’d say everyone is called to a higher standard. Many people simply deny that call giving into the false promise that more attention (even this type of attention) will bring Joy. Real eternal Joy is only found in glorifying the Lord. If attention becomes an idol, we hope to find happiness in it instead of the Lord. True Joy is only found in Christ.

    Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Phil 4:4

  • H Jean

    This is an awesome article! Soo many young and old ladies crave attention in social network. I love the part that you said “posting seductive selfies is just an outward syndrome of a much deeper issue”. So true!

  • Cynthia Reina

    I had the same conviction about this. & I thank God for showing me! How can we glorify God when we are to full of ourselves? Many people can disagree with it, but their opinion is irrelevant. What God says is what matters. & if He has brought it to our attention, than we need to obey & listen. & share with others what He shared with us.

  • Ruthie

    Thank you for this informative article. It gives me a clue as to what’s going on.

  • Lynell Tiller

    I don’t post selfies and neither does my teenage daughter. If the mother sets a good example, the daughter will usually follow. And I don’t see how the picture above is a seductive selfie. Bad example.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      From the bottom of the post “Disclaimer: The image used at the top of this blog is not what we would consider a “seductive selfie.” We chose not to publish a photo of a sensual/seductive girl for obvious reasons.”

    • jasoncohoon@gmail.com

      Wow, not only have you put yourself firmly in the role of the Pharisee from the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, but you’ve also revealed you didn’t even read the entire article! Cheers!

  • vlad bezhenar

    One of the reasons why this is powerful is because a woman wrote it (since it focuses on women). Second, she was practicing this herself, was convicted in her heart, received the revelation from the Holy Spirit, repented from her actions, and is now shining light on that area for others to be set free. She also wrote a phrase at the end of the atricle regarding the picture above and they do NOT consider it as a seductive one, they chose NOT to post a sedutive picture above for obvious reasons. So just please read the article before making conclusions. As Children of God, we are to LOVE Holiness, Godliness, Purity, etc. Its not just about DOING the things of God, but LOVING to do the things of God. Loving what God loves and hating what God hates. A passionate heart for the Kingdom of God will not grasp attention and glory for itself, it will always point to CHRIST. As well as always striving for the best of others, not for self. If I confess to be a Disciple of Jesus, I will not post photos, comments, videos, etc, that will cause another person to stumble and fall in their heart. The Holy Spirit lives within Believers and He ALWAYS convicts us deep in our heart, when we are about to do something wrong and/or sinful. And His Grace, equips us to do what we could not do before and that is to LIVE HOLY. May the Lord continue to dig into our hearts and use His saints to BE the SHINING LIGHT of Christ to the lost. Amen. (Titus 2:11-12 “The whole chapter 2 actually reflects how young/old women AND men shoud live, so please read it also”) “verses 11-12: For the Grace of God that brings salvation has APPEARED to all men, TEACHING us that, DENYING ungodliness and worldly lusts, we SHOULD live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world”

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for chiming in. You have some great thoughts in your comment!

  • Anon

    What about christian guys posting shirtless selfies?

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Good question Anon. This article was written for girls so we didn’t address guy issues in it. However, shirtless selfies for Christian guys seem to be on the same level as a Christian girl posting seductive selfies. They’re both sensual, lack purity, and are aimed at glorifying the person, not God.

  • Motherof3boys

    Well written! I agree w/ the article. I am raising 3 teenage sons & trying to teach them to respect the purity of the young ladies they meet. Boys are bombarded w/ bikini pics of their Christian friends online & lots of skin w/ the popularity of short shorts. I want my boys to treat their girlfriends like God’s creations & remember that they will be someone’s wife one day. With the constant barrage of flesh it is harder to communicate that message, but I forge on anyway. I wish more parents would check their children’s social media posts or texts. They might be shocked to see what “Christian kids” are texting & posting. We need to protect our kids in this sin fallen world & reduce temptation when we can.

  • Geo

    Showing off what God made!

  • CC

    Personally, I found this article both convicting and enlightening! Even though my pictures are appropriate, I still find myself often posting them for the same reasons that girls are posting seductive ones. That reason being for the applause or the attention of others. I find myself constantly worrying about the number of “likes” that I will receive on a picture that I post. This is also sinful and something that has been on my heart lately. It leads to the same question of “Am I posting these pictures to receive the satisfaction of being accepted or noticed by others?” A verse that comes to mind when dealing with this is Galatians 1:10 which says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” My job as a child of God is to be a servant of Christ in every area of my life. By being concerned with winning the approval of people and not Jesus, then I know that I have some things to think about and to work on! Thanks for the post!! Really great article!

  • Fort Worth Cow Lady

    Teenage girls often struggle with self-esteem, or lack thereof. They need to be taught that God created them and when they become Christians they are transformed. 1 Peter 2:9 tells us how God feels about us as Christians.”But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;” So there you have it. We are Chosen. We are Royal. We are Holy. God’s own Special People! Acknowledging that and believing it is a great self-esteem booster. God’s opinion of us is all that truly counts and who needs the perverted attention brought on by seductiveness, when you are supposed to be Special?

  • jesuscanputitinme88

    What no pics?

  • Tiffany Blair

    I completely agree with this. I see so many women and teenagers posting these kinds of photos. Some are high schoolers, some are married women, some are mothers, some are college aged like me. It’s kind of crazy to me, because honestly I’d feel embarrassed to put that out there (well let’s be honest, even if I tried to look “seductive” in any way, I would fail completely, lol).
    I’m guilty of doing some instagram selfies, but they aren’t sensual in any way (usually just me smiling because I’ve had a good hair day or like my top, lol). I always make sure it’s 100% decent, like no cleavage or if my legs are showing, I make sure my shorts aren’t pulled up.
    I’m lucky to have been taught modesty as I was growing up, and I really wish more people had learned the same. I’m not trying to make myself sound better in any way, that’s not what I’m saying at all, everyone makes mistakes. I just wish more people would THINK before they publicly post themselves for anyone to see.

  • Ariava

    THANK YOU for this article!!!! It says exactly what I have thought so many times looking at “Christian” girls and their pictures. They are not just posting selfies though; senior pictures and “having fun with a friend trying to act like a photographer” pictures – it’s all the same. I stand amazed sometimes how parents, especially pastors and those who are in the ministry turn a blind eye to their daughters’ actions. Rceently, a pastor’s daughter posted such a picture with the caption “holy hotties”. it turned my stomach, but the mother just commented something like “You’re so wrong, lol.” Absolute condoning of such behavior (that to me comes so close to mockery of true holiness!) I pray your article truly touches the hearts of young women and parents alike.

    • chaz

      It is not a surprise if a false pastor will post a picture with the caption “holy hotties”…

  • Anna Mitchell

    Hi , my name is Anna and I want to add that I happen to be a model myself and the picture above is in fact a selfie , close up whatever. And it’s beautiful and God created the girl above beautiful and that was one of his many gifts I’m sure he gave the young girl. NOT ALL SELFIES ARE BAD! And wanting a attention or affirmation is NOT bad either! It’s the way god made us as woman. It’s how you manipulate in wanting that in a negative light that makes it bad and destructive. No I want everyone to think of this …. Why do you post anything? It’s bc you want to be heard or you want people to see what you have going on or what you want them to see. That goes for a picture a status whatever , we don’t post stuff on social media for ourselves. WE WANT RECOGNITION! There is nothing wrong with that as long as you have a pure heart. If your fully clothed appropriately and you post a beautiful selfie of yourself , your posting it bc your confident in it and you want to present it to other people other than yourself. If the issue is wanting attention is a problem then we as Christian should delete all social media bc with everything you post , you post it knowing that other people are gonna see it and form an opinion on it. Another thing , girls if your insecure that is not just gonna transfer in your pictures but how you carry yourself. It’s gonna show in how you walk in every area of your life it will show including the bony dries for yourself. If your struggling with insecurity there is nothing to be ashamed of but you need to seek help with inner healing bc just not taking selfie isn’t gonna stop anything. Bc out still gonna find ways to get attention besides pictures. You might post a pity status wanting people to comment and give you attention. Ladies god made you BEAUTIFUL! IT IS TOTALLY OKAY TO

  • Anna Mitchell

    BE PROUD IN HOW YOU LOOK AND WANT APPROPRIATE ATTENTION! God created woman to crave affirmation. Whenever we show off our talents and gifts and blessing that god have us in the right way God loves it! It’s like his own personal art show. Your not of the world if you take a selfie and find confidence in it and feel good in displaying it in a positive light and wanting positive feed back. It’s normal! Don’t let a spirit of religion control you. If you know Gods heart , you will hear conviction and you will no when something outpost status or picture was wrong or not. The point is to not follow rules or a certain standard but to follow the heart of god focus on your relationship with him. Keep your temple holy but don’t be ashamed of its beauty and the affirmation that comes with it.

    • Travis Barrell

      I agree with your entire post except the first sentence, “God created women to seek affirmation” it is true that women normally are more “self concious” and naturally desire affirmation that they are beautiful… But there is one thing to that statement… Men are NATURALLY lusty, maybe not all, but it is a more natural specification about a man, I know this bc I am one. But just because God made us that way, does NOT by any means make it alright for a man to lust after a woman, it clearly states it in the Bible. My point is that yes okay I get it a woman wanting that affirmation that she is beautiful and desiring ppl to not so much LUST after her but WANT her is normal for any woman, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay, on another note, (the part I agree with you on) I believe if you do have a relationship with God he WILL NOT hesitate to let you know when he doesnt like something you do, I believe he will give you that feeling like “oh gosh why did I do that” when your wrong. So with that being said, IF you decide to post pictures like these and you don’t feel any sort of conviction, then there should be nothing to fear and nothing to be ashamed of…

      • Chance Marasso

        Well said.

  • sweetiejo1981

    As a Christian woman, I am TIRED of Christian “culture” and tradition down playing a woman’s beauty. GOD made us BEAUTIFUL on purpose!!! It is NOT unholy to display His handy work!!!!!!! YES I want the world to admire my beauty. (it is apart of who I am). YES I enjoy feeling pretty!! ( GOD made me that way EMOTIONALLY) …. MY QUESTION to Godly women is WHY do we ALLOW a “broken” culture, to SHAME us. When attention is on me, by default God get’s the GLORY! He did it!!!!!! HE…. formed me in my mother’s womb… My BREAST, HIPS, EYES and LIPS where HIS great pleasure!!!! HE mold’s me as HE want’s and I WILL NOT HIDE…..HIS….handy work!…. Beauty is NOT the only gift giv’n by my creator…. I just wish God’s people would stop trying to down play such a WONDERFUL treasure!… SN I personally wont be post’n butt necked flicks for anyone BUT my husband.. I’m not that bold and some things are ment just for him =)

    • Anna Mitchell

      Amen sister I’m glad I’m not that only one preaching the same message and feeling the same way!!!!!!

    • chaz

      I think the real issue here is if the picture or selfie will obviously trigger LUST. Mat 5:27-28

      Thus, Christians are taught to obey (1 Tim 2:9-10) to avoid provoking other people from committing adultery (lust of the eyes)

      • Charity

        I suppose all women should wear big, long dresses and a bag on their face to avoid making men lust?? I definitely agree that women should dress and behave modestly however, it is MY responsibility to heal men from their lust issues. That is truly between them and God.

        • Charity

          **NOT my responsibility

      • Anon

        Pretty sure it’s not the woman’s fault if a man is feeling lustful. That’s between him, his mind, and God. A man could look lustfully at a dog. Was the dog taking a lustful photo? Pretty sure that’s just the mans dirty mind thinking it’s okay to look at a girl that way, but then shaking the poor girl when it was his mind that went to that place. Would you justify rape because the girl was wearing a tube top?

        • Anonymous

          Yes I totally agree with this. Women shouldn’t have to cover up just so men don’t have temptation. They should learn how to control their lustful thoughts and fight against sin. Our society shouldn’t be teaching women to cover up, it should be teaching men not to rape and think of women in a respectful manner.

        • Chance Marasso

          Anon….I’ll compare it to an alcoholic… Yes an alcoholic it’s ultimately his responsibility and fault but god made us all with weakness for some men it’s easier to resist lustful looking but for others it’s not and yes they are accountable but just like if I had an alcoholic friend I wouldn’t leave beer out to temp them….does that sort of make sense we are all gods children he compares our bodies to temples… While they are all beautiful to him how we dress and the attention we seek reflects how we value ourselves and the gift he’s given us modesty is a principle to help gods children to return to him we all should love and try and help each other avoid sin or do you disagree?

    • Chris

      Well then just remember next time you go out, leave the make up at home. All your doing is covering up “Gods” beauty. Don’t put your eyeliner on because your covering up the way God intended for your eyes to look. Don’t put your mascara on because your covering up the way God made your eyelashes to look. Don’t do your nails because your covering that up as well. If your gonna play the “God made me beautiful” card, you might want to play it the way “He” intended for it to be. Not the way “you” would have it. If God made you beautiful, why are you covering it up?

      • Dani

        I think you’re missing the point of her statement.

        • poordad

          I don’t think so.

    • YoungMumof5

      Question for you… If you suffered third degree burns to your entire body, would you feel this way? Would her appearance still reflect God’s handiwork, His glory? Did He shame her by burning her entire outward appearance?
      Take physical beauty away from a woman and what has she got left? If she can no longer feel beautiful on the outside, then to her, outward beauty was her idol. We need to be so careful we where we tread with appreciating God’s handiwork and becoming vain. And sadly, seductive selfies steps over that line.

  • Chaz

    Possible ROOT CAUSES:

    a. Modesty with shamefacedness and sobriety (1 Tim 2:9-10) NOT taught and implemented by their religious leaders (Mat 28:20)

    b. They are not really Christians because they do not abide God’s word (John 8:31)

    c. They are stubborn but not being admonished by their religious leaders (Titus 3:10)

    d. They are wicked but not expelled (1 Cor 5:13)

    e. Thus it becomes a norm in their group: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1Cor15:33)

    f. Or simply they have not yet heard the word from a preacher sent by God. Thus they don’t have faith yet. (Rom 10:14-16)

    1 Tim 2:9-10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

  • Judi Murphy

    Why does anyone feel it necessary to show off something for which they have no responsibility? God can display His handiwork without my help. Seeking affirmation or attention for myself is not what we are called to do. The point of my life is to point to God.

    • chaz

      Yap it is not necessary to show off your body naked/seductively. It is actually prohibited.

      What some people don’t understand, (though it is hypothetical) if only man did not eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil then you are free to go out naked like little children with all their innocence. The problem is, man sinned and now knows good and evil. So God instructed Christians to keep the good and do not do evil. The original intention of the Creator is for us to live with innocence without the burden of knowing good and evil. But because of what happened, God gave instructions/laws for us to stay away from evil and do good.

      So you can’t just show off your body in a seductive manner. Because that will trigger lust on other people. Wanting attention is different from wanting to be Lust over.

      God does not want man to commit adultery, so He even teach us how to prevent that sin by not looking at a person and LUST over her/him. And instructed Christian women to adorn themselves with modest clothes to avoid provoking other people to LUST over them.

      • Nenya

        I don’t want to derail the article completely. But what you have written is a path to victim shaming. ‘If she didn’t want to be raped, she shouldn’t have worn a short skirt, which she should have known would trigger lust.’ Maybe it’s the role of others to not look at girls as seductive.

  • Joven Macapallag

    AMEN!!!

  • T.O.

    As the mother of a 13 year old, I totally agree. I hope I have taught her to have more respect for herself and some modesty.That is not a good example of Christianly behavior to set before the world.

  • Charity

    This article is obviously the author’s truth however, I do not think it describes nor should define every other Christian girl who takes and posts selfies. The motive of the heart is far more important than what people see. I am a mother to a 13 year old girl and I do not believe she is trying to be seductive in her “selfies”. It is unfair to place this type of judgement on girls. Our job is to guide them toward modesty while encouraging them to embrace their beauty. We should not place hurtful, judgmental titles on them that make them feel dirty. They will get enough of that from the ‘world”. Instead of bringing the hammer down how about getting the camera out. Love (not legalism) wins…..

    • Dani

      I love everything about this statement. It is really hard to be a girl in society, and I think that educating them about this is a very individual thing. Embracing ones own beauty has got to be different than being seductive. And if a person viewing a photo can’t see that, then that person needs to reevaluate their emotions and motives.

  • Andy

    Good article. Personally though, I feel like the author somewhat gutted the point with the disclaimer at the very end. While that picture is obviously not an extreme example, I believe there IS a seductive element to the picture. By giving that disclaimer, the whole point of the article was weakened. Just my opinion.

    • Dani

      Andy, whats the seductive element to the picture? I actually appreciated the disclaimer because I was really concerned that the pic used in this post was an example of “seductive selfies.” I needed the disclaimer in order to think of this article as even plausible. If that top picture is an example of a “seductive selfie” that basically just tells me that this entire conversation is subjective, and its the eyeball-owner’s responsibility to decide how to view it. I do agree with the concept of anyone posting anything at all about themselves examining the motivation behind why they chose to do it, and being sure it is consistent when who they want to be as a person.

  • Dani

    Andy, whats the seductive element to the picture? I actually appreciated the disclaimer because I was really concerned that the pic used in this post was an example of “seductive selfies.” I needed the disclaimer in order to think of this article as even plausible. If that top picture is an example of a “seductive selfie” that basically just tells me that this entire conversation is subjective, and its the eyeball-owner’s responsibility to decide how to view it. I do agree with the concept of anyone posting anything at all about themselves examining the motivation behind why they chose to do it, and being sure it is consistent when who they want to be as a person.

  • YoungMumof5

    Wow. So sad that Christian women are actually trying to justify seductive selfies. That is awful :-( And with nothing from scripture except referring to the sexual, MARRIAGE verses of Song of Solomon.
    Thank you so much for a beautiful article, that is biblical and Christ-centered! No matter how much women try and justify flaunting their bodies, you cannot argue with scripture that we are to be imitators of Christ. Rather than resisting that, why not just agree, admit that it is hard to do in the world we live in, and strive to be on a journey of aligning our lives with what God has said in His word. Please stop playing exegetical gymnastics with God’s word in order to make it say what you want and to justify ungodliness.

  • Unimpressed

    This entire post is ridiculous. I find it offensive. I know many Christian girls who are models. They love what they do, and they are also devout Christians. They are beautiful women and are using what God gave them. They aren’t doing anything wrong.

  • Guest

    This must be one of the most ridiculous articles I have had the misfortune of wasting my time reading. I am waiting with bated breath for the article geared towards young men and their selfies, and their bathing suit attire and the list goes on. My guess is I will be waiting a long time because … why would we? Women are such easy targets to body shame we can have fun with this for decades to come! Maybe if we are REALLY lucky we can all move to Iran, cover our ankles and wrists and live in a truly “Christ like” environment where there aren’t “seductive selfies” because the women aren’t allowed to have cell phones.

  • Andrea Marie Cooper

    Hand on hip? Eyebrows raised? Serious eyes? Duck lips? These are seductive poses? REALLY?!

    • maya

      No its not alone. I think body language adds to it as well and its possible that we have become really desensitized

    • Tammy

      As maya said…we have become desensitized. And, so very narcissistic. It’s all about ME….let ME show you everywhere I’ve been or am going…let me show you all what I’m having for dinner…let me show you my Starbucks coffee cup on the way to work….let me show you my “hand on hips” pose of me in front of the beach, everyday…
      Oh, one other pose that was forgotten…the bent leg pose. See, we know what to do to make ourselves look the BEST we possibly can in photos…to the exclusion of our friends and even other family members. You can’t deny that you most likely love the adoration, too-when you post a selfie, and you know that it’s a good one.

      • Andrea Marie Cooper

        Everyone enjoys knowing they are beautiful and wanted. It’s how we are created–in the image if God who also wants to be loved. I find selfies annoying…but I think it’s deeper than being full of ourselves. We want people to know we were here, there…that we drew breath. Drawing a broad conclusion that a majority of selfies are seductive, and that we make sure we posed in a flattering fashion for them, makes us desensitized and narcissistic is over reaching a good deal.

        • Tammy

          No…I really think we like ourselves far more than we should. Love for God, first…love for self, last. I guess we disagree, but that is how I see it. Social media and “automatic living” contribute to our need for adoration and approval.

  • Jay Erwin

    Maybe we should focus less on defining a “seductive” selfie and begin to deconstruct the mindset behind a selfie in the first place. Almost every time I post a selfie I feel a slime of self-affirmation come over me as the likes or comments rise. It’s a sick and self-worshipping cycle that I fall into. I’ve become convicted about this issue for a while. It isn’t about “girls” being “seductive”, it’s about ALL PEOPLE being self-glorifying.
    When this article began to discuss the heart behind these photos, the sermon on the mount came to mind. All sins are first a sin of the heart. We must consider this before we continue to grow more legalistic about the modesty-dating-selfie debate epidemic that’s been plaguing social media lately. Glorify God above everything else, know His word, and these things would not be the issue.

    • http://batman-news.com Sarah Pratt

      True that pride is at the heart and that it goes deaper into an issue of the heart, but you are a male and must not understand the spirits that a woman faces on the issues of immodesty. Immodesty is a HUGE sin in the world of women. I pray you will see the IMMENSE NEED for the MINISTRY of theses ladies who run this site who are reaching the hearts of women to come back to the Father and live as He commands women to. The sexual expoitation of women in today’s society is appauling. And women are exploiting themselves and in turn enslaving men to life times of bondage to sexual sins. Christian men are in bondage, married Christian men are in bondage, and sadly so many men these days don’t even realize they are living sexually sinful lives in front of God. Jesus says that the lusts in the heart and thoughts of the mind are like ADULTERY to Him. Christ raised the standards on how He desires and expects men to live uprightly in their minds towards Him in relation to women. And women who are immodest are making this commandment close to impossible for a man to live out. But with God all things are impossible. I pray God will help you with the slefie issue you are dealing with, but that in NO WAY should negate the SERIOUS nature of this issue that this MINISTRY is adressing in ANY WAY! Blessings

      • Jay Erwin

        I admire your passion for this issue. I’m afraid I may be quite naive to most the struggles of women simply due to the fact that while I know a lot of good Christian women, I’m not close with them. Therefore, I’m sorry about the ignorance in my comment or anything that might have discounted issues unfamiliar to me.

        From a male perspective, keep in mind a flawed perspective, this issue feels like it’s our fault. I am adulterous at heart, and my first instinct is heap blame on women for my lust, but digging deeper I know that the sin is due to the state of my heart. In those moments where my sin is most apparent, the woman’s clothing, intent, sin is irrelevant…I had my heart postured in a manner in which sin was allowed to be more attractive to me than Christ.

        Ms Pratt, I realize that this issue is a two-way street and I apologize for any way in which I wrote off the female side of the issue, but it is not with you I have an issue. I am so grateful and it brings worship to my heart to see Christian women (or any Christian for that matter) with such passion for a righteous cause. The primary issue I am having within this topic is with the so-called men who are using modesty and similar issues of women as a scapegoat to justify their primal sins as being anyone’s fault but theirs. We continually are heaping shame upon those whom we so zealously lust after in our own hearts.

        We must get the logs out of our own eyes first. Men have no room to teach on the issues of women when they can’t see past their own sin. We must live humbly and not seek someone or something outside of us to blame. If you so desperately want to teach a lesson, teach it in this manner: shut your mouth and get your act together. Others will learn in God’s time, but in the mean time, walk humbly and righteously in Christ’s name as a light to the world.

  • Colleen

    Dear Kristen,
    Thank You So Very Much for your article! I am a 56 year old woman who is suffering from her first and only marriage that ended in divorce. I waited nearly 30 years to marry only to find out you are exactly right! I made the mistake of relaxing my moral standards to please a man I thought “loved” me.

    But the genuineness of his love was based on the very things you are warning girls about. I wish I could express the deep anguishing pain of the death of what I thought was love and acceptance. Sadly, when the reality of life (sin) beats at the relationship, that very relationship will crumble under the weight the sin.

    Cure? Just like you said – Hang on to the purity. A good guy looking for that kind of girl will find her. And if she isn’t found by him, she is MUCH better off single!

    I know as the days go by and I draw closer and closer to the REAL love Jesus has for me through trusting His story of love and rescue (the Bible), my heart will heal and my faith will grow stronger! It is more precious than gold or even the acceptance of a mere mortal man. I am the bride of the King of the universe. What more could any of us possibly ask for?

    • Tammy

      Dear Colleen,
      Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel…I am also in my 50s, and I understand completely what you are saying…I’ve been there, too. I am educated, am in an honorable profession, and was raised by Christian parents, and in church, from a very early age. It pains me to know that I cannot take back my actions. I have asked God to forgive me, over and over. Shame has covered me, and I realize how wrong I was to do such things as I did, just to get someone to love me. Trying, now, to live my life in the way God would have me do, for as long as I have left on this earth. If I was in your presence, Colleen, you would get a tight hug.
      And, because I have seen the errors of my own ways….I also see how dangerous and narcissistic the selfies can be. I think even the pose of the young lady, above, is somewhat seductive-it’s her “pursed lips”.

  • Jay

    I get the point, but I also think this is way over the top.
    Let’s not be legalistic.
    Also, the way this article is written, although with a good heart, truly separates “christian girls” and “non-christian girls” and I think any person who is not a Christian, who reads this, probably is Not going to take away what the article is emphasizing, but maybe even feel a little alienated.
    “Will you say no to posting self-glorifying pictures that put all of the attention on you?”… I feel like this question is really over the top ‘Christian’…… it’s a selfie..meaning you’re the only one in the picture. what else is it supposed to focus on…
    A picture can glorify God for sure, respecting your body in His name. But here’s my question. How do you classify a “self-glorifying picture”? or a “seductive” picture?
    Also, this article is slightly closed minded. The focus is from one perspective, I think it would be interesting to have an article written with a few more perspectives added to create a stronger argument.
    It would be interesting to perhaps interview a Christian female model, and see their heart on this issue.
    Interesting article, good heart, but slightly legalistic.

    • JB

      Not in any way over the top nor legalistic. Legalistic is to not take pictures of yourself altogether. The issue she points out is a great one and goes both for girls and guys. Here is where the dad or make role model figure comes crucially into play. I personally want my daughters to hear their beautiful so much for me first rather than seeking it out from the guys at school or friends on social media.

    • http://batman-news.com Sarah Pratt

      A selfie is not what the writer is speaking against! She is talking about purposely seductive poses that are meant to look sexual and get responses based on your body. You probably have gripe with this article because it makes you feel guilty and a bit angry I suppose. IF you care about God’s biblical commands (His not optional rules) clearly spelled out for all people in His holy words, then you will embrace His command to be a woman of modesty. God says “if you love me you will keep my commandments.” Is GOD being “legalistic” here? God’s rules are not legalistic. They are intended to be followed. Legalistic is a term that derives from the Old Testament Law which is not in effect now. Hundreds of Old Testament rules about washing hands, what to eat and not to eat, how to clean yourself, and how to prepare foods, how to execute justice on criminals, how to treat servants ect. It is mostly found in Leviticus. The list goes on and on. Most people who use this term do not even know what they are refering to. And modesty is not in the Old Testament it is in the New. Jesus commands it. The term “legalistic” has become a term used out of true context and generally now adays to mean a Christian who makes rules that the New Testemeant does not impose on Christians. Things like wearing skirts, head coverings, or not using drums in music, or anything else that Jesus or His disciples did not teach us to do. The term is inappropriately used more and more these days by Christians who do not know the rules of the New Testemant to defend their own liberal stance agaisnt rules of the New Testament. Simply put- If they don’t agree with it, then it must be LEGALISTIC! You are doing this. But, you are wrong. New Testament is clear that modesty is something you must emrace. And it is also clear WHAT modesty is and what it looks like. It is not something YOU personally decide what is allowed or not. True modesty is defined in both the new and old testemant. It is not up for personal opinion. It is very very clear what is modest and what is immodest. Immodest women in any culture give women in general a very bad name and disrespect from men with little value for women. A quick study on the exploitation of the women’s body over the last 8 decades should clue you in on what modesty is and what this society has devestatingly done to the value of a woman.

      • chaz

        Misused of the term legalistic is just a way for them to escape what Jesus taught to real Christians. As it is written in the book of John “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.”

  • Gary Hinchman

    Carnal Christians operating out of the lusts of their flesh will not end any more than the Corinthian church ended their carnality 200 years after the apostle Paul challenged it in at least two letters. The problem for all fleshly minded Christians is “quietness” in demeanor – not calling attention to ourselves in overt ways, but calling attention to Christ in discreet, peaceful, loving, and gracious but godly ways. Men and women in the flesh will always “look on the outward appearance” and God will always “look on the heart.”

    Ungodly Christians will focus on their public persona, Godly Christians will not. We must influence the level of godliness in cultures and general society, not focus on the darkness of the hypocrites and childish immature believers blinded by the narcissistic culture they are in today.

    Glorify Christ in all we do is the demand of scripture – not glorify yourself.

    1Co_10:31 Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever [including taking a picture] you do, do all to the glory of God [-not self by selfies].

    • bethimus

      There is a place the body of Christ for Christians who crave attention. In Romans 12 Paul describes many different types fulfilled by Christians who, combined, make up the body of Christ. These are prophet, ruler, teacher, servant, exhorter, giver, and mercy. At least three of these redemptive gifts center around being at the front of a crowd, in a leadership role. If all Christians were called to be the part of the body called servant, then I would agree with your statements about ungodly Christians focusing on their persona. But since I know from this passage that many of Christ’s followers are called to attract attention, I cannot say that any Christian who attracts attention is ungodly and carnal.

  • MrsGriff

    That’s a great article and very true! Whether seductive or just a “selfish” pose of one-self. I agree! I think you nailed it!

  • jessica

    I think this is a great article. Yes it would apply to guys as well. I don’t understand the comments from people who felt it “over the top” or “too Christian”. This is a Christian blog. What would you expect? For those calling it legalistic, hard hearts confronted with their sin usually avoid facing the truth by calling it legalism. How can it be legalism to encourage people to seek to glorify God? This is truth that our society needs to hear. Those who do not know Christ yet need this message just as much as Christians. Thank you Kristen for having the humility to share from your heart!

  • bethimus

    From my personal experience, not all girls are trying to be seductive, nor are they attention addicts. While I agree with most of what you write, I think Christian girls need to have an opportunity to explore their God-given sexuality without it always being assumed to be of evil intent. I believe God designed girls to start being attracted to boys when they begin menstruating simply because He’s preparing them for their role as a man’s help-meet. I had a very loving and attentive father. While I craved his affirmations, there was a point at which he could never fulfill my needs without crossing sexual boundaries. Unless a girl is called to be single she will crave attention from men, and teaching girls that their desire for male attention is sinful can be unrealistic and legalistic.

    To repeat, I agree with most of what you’ve said, but there had to be a caveat for girls who truly aren’t attention junkies.

  • u60n0

    I find it so sad that these are the types of things we are focusing on as human beings in this world. In the end all of this is meaningless. Whether you followed some sort of code of morals or whether you were a murdering theif. Or an average person trying to do their best, or a mean person with no impact to make. In the end we all die. There is no accountability, no ultimate truth. No right or wrong. Things just are. I wish we could move on from these notions so we could progress together. All people, all together hand in hand working to see all that we can accomplish. But instead we are bogged down in a thousand different systems of belief. More divided than ever before. All of which ultimately come down to whether you put your faith not in God or a god, but in the words of men. I don’t believe that God is real, but if he is he must certainly be far different than any of the religions think. But those are just my thoughts, just as valid as any person who ever wrote a gospel or a religious text. In the mean time billions of people squabble over doctrine and which human had more authority than others. The answer is none. Authority is fake, everyone is equally right, or equally wrong if you want to see it that way. We could be exploring the stars. Instead we are busy making sure everyone feels guilty about every impulse and uncontrollable feeling they have. Guilt that people will carry with them over their lifetimes, over things that can’t possibly help, or things they can’t take back. Don’t forget all of you are sinners. Maybe one day we will be better than all of this. I wish I could live to see that day

    • Fred Brewer

      If God (the person we measure morality by) does not exist, then how do we know we are doing better or worse. If truth is relative as you imply and life has no meaning, Betterment is just an illusion in such a world because who is to say, ‘reaching for the stars,’ is a good or bad thing? I want you to consider something: the fact that there is 1000 belief systems does not disprove them all. It proves there is something greater than ourselves and this messed up world we live in. 6.8 billion different beliefs do not prove or disprove a God, but I would dare say it hints at it. I understand a lot of people have been wronged by the church and we are not always the most loving people in the world. Some of us have realized that we are hypocrites. But, to be a Christian is to be a hypocrite. The calling placed on our lives is a difficult one. It is one of love. We are to share the same love we have received. But, part of that love is revealing to people the same thing that was revealed to us. We are sinners in need of a Savior. Not just from His wrath, but from old way of thinking and the futileness that comes from it. What futileness could I be talking about. The illusion that somehow we can build a eutopia away from the One who is Eutopia. We were never meant to be alone and broken. But, we decided we loved our independence more that we did His companionship. I will not claim that I agree totally with this article, because quite frankly I don’t know the struggles a woman faces.

      • Steve B.

        Which savior should we believe in? There are a number of them out there. Every one has his own holy book that he either wrote himself, or was divinely inspired. Why should I believe one over the other? And if the answer is “faith,” why should I put faith in one savior over the other?

        • chaz

          i think you are on the wrong article

        • u60n0

          You shouldn’t. Once a person realizes that this is all a facade, and opens their eyes to really see the world for the first time, much becomes clear.

      • u60n0

        I agree with your point, betterment in and of itself in my belief is just as meaningless as everything else. I suppose my point in all of this is that since none of it matters anyway, I would wish to see humanity go as far as it can reach. Just for its own sake, the process would be it’s own reward. Life isn’t about getting to the end. And it upsets me greatly to see so many people around me living for an afterlife that probably isn’t real, meanwhile ignoring the present. Our potential as a species is massive. Look at what we’ve accomplished. Religion eschews human accomplishment and deems us all as “broken”. If we all brought our eyes down from above and instead took a real look around us, oh what we could accomplish together! It breaks my heart every day I wake up because I know what we could become and at the same time I know it will never happen. Taking from what Steve B. has said below, even if there is a god, who is to say that your chosen religion, in your host country, in you local denomination, just so happens to be the one right way with no room for error? That isn’t faith, it’s arrogance. The fact that a person can look you dead in the eye and undoubtedly claim that they know truth is the height of self absorption, cloak it any way you want. I personally am very open to the notion that I am probably wrong. I have beliefs, because they seem reasonable to me, but I’m perfectly capable of admitting that my views are narrow, as much as anyone else, and that I could be wrong on many many things. There is no room for error in the Christian belief, as well as many other beliefs, it’s all “truth” no exceptions no compromise. It’s very sad, especially considering the number of people who have distilled the belief into the highly filtered form that is found today.

        • Fred Brewer

          Well, I am not like most Christians as that I believe I have some edge or some special revelation on God that no one else does. I believe that fact that we have so many denominations in Christianity means that we all don’t have the full picture. I will say to your point that so many Christians have become so infatuated with after or the here and now that we have not given consideration to the betterment (I would say the alleviation of pain and suffering in this would). The baring of others burdens is one of the central tenants of the Christian faith. However, so many of us have become enamored with the idea of separating ourselves from our cultures that we no longer positively influence our culture. To specifically answer your question as to why I believe my “religion” is the right one. Once again I do not claim to have an edge here, but rather speak of what I know. I believe Jesus is who he says He is based off faith. In Hebrews Hebrews 11:1 it defines faith as such, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Now the hope the writer speaks of is stronger language than we use now. Its not, “faith is the substance we would want to happen, but probably won’t,” but rather, ” faith is the substance of things we know will happen.” This is not arrogance, but rather confidence. Christianity from my studies just makes the most sense in this world we live. It is the only one that makes sense when I compare it to all the truths we can know. I can not tell you why you should believe it though. that is a journey you’re going to have to struggle through. All I can do is point you to the trail head.

          • u60n0

            I appreciate your sentiments and your understanding approach to conversation. It’s refreshing honestly. That trail you spoke of is actually quite behind me however. I grew up Christian, born and raised. My whole family is incredibly devout; my grandfather was a pastor and many of my cousins are youth pastors and missionaries. I am intimately familiar with the belief and its many forms. I have rejected it because it doesn’t make enough sense and in my opinion is horribly inconsistent and immoral (ironically). I’ve already walked that path and I find it distasteful. But good for you that are educated in your beliefs and are open minded enough to have debate. As I said, it nice to see in a Christian.

    • chaz

      “everyone is equally right, or equally wrong”… that’s illogical

      • u60n0

        No it’s not. It’s exaggeration. It means that we all hold the same authority. There is no standard, no baseline, no one is magically better than anyone else. All the rest is context. The only reason a King is a ruler is because everyone else agrees to follow his commands. The only reason anyone anywhere has authority is because other people agree to defer to them. You and I and are no less authoritative than Paul, than Thomas Aquinas, than St. Augustine, or Billy Graham. The only difference is that millions of believers have chosen to grant them their place in doctrinally infamy. The whole of religious belief centers on the fact that certain men hold special authority granted by god, or angels

  • Johnny

    Where does it say you have the rights to judge others who are not Christians. You go to church and people talk about you behind your back about what you wear how you sit and where you sit. Then you have the hide to act like the Meek and Gods children you are no better then the heathen that walks by you everyday. How do you know they don’t have respect for him I know where i’ll be on Judgement day watching all the so good Christians falling for trying do Gods job and Judging people and you wonder why there are no Gentiles in Church because they have been turned away by you so called hypocrites.

    • Andrea

      That’s not what the author is saying in the article. She’s saying that she is a hypocrite because she too has done what so many other girls have done. She is saying that we all fall down and that’s because we are imperfectly human but just because we make mistakes doesn’t mean we should continue to make them, especially when one is aware of the reason behind their actions. A lot of my friends post these images and I have done so in the past as well. I wanted validation and I liked being told how beautiful I was. This didn’t fill my heart but only broke it more. How vain, how self centered of me. The world doesn’t revolve around me and my looks but my love and kindness towards our fellows. Am I being kind and loving when I’m only thinking about myself? Absolutely not. Anyway, the narcism will continue and people will have their opinions and that’s okay. It’s just my opinion that the author intends to help other women who may struggle to look inside themselves and ask why they do the things they do. Christian or not, we all can learn and grow. As soon as I think I know something, I really know nothing.

  • Laurie

    Great article….again, those will scoff and bite, pay no attention to them ladies… there are plenty of us out there who see this as a challenge and something to strive for, for Christ asks us to strive for it. Be ye holy as I am holy…. see we throw out holiness because, “there’s no one telling me what to do”, well Gods design is meant to protect us, not hurt us. 😉 keep up the writing… the fact the critics are enraged says, you MUST keep writing, and keep proclaiming ALL of the Bible, AND that you must be saying something right… The word of God does make us uncomfortable. By the way… i was one of those desperately seeking attention young ladies, I was trying to fill a void with men, and so many other things, approval in all the wrong areas…. when Christ filled that void and taught me I AM GOOD ENOUGH, and who I am in Christ…. that all fell to the side.

  • Steph hunt

    You hit it right on the head about a lonely girl inside craving attention. I used to be that girl who was unsure and lonely and wanted to hear that I was hot or that I was pretty. But im not that girl Anymore… I wasnt saved back then tho.. But anyway, now I am apauled and shocked at some of the “Christian” girls that post seductive pictures…even more shocked at how much younger they are starting now than when I has the habbit of taking pictures left and right, and that hasnt been too long ago either.

  • Anitsisqua

    Because the girls doing so are the ones getting attention. Seeing that, it’s a great temptation to do the same.

  • Steve B.

    The verses referenced in this article were fully intended by God to be internalized by individuals reading them and to be used to define their own lives. Instead, the author twists them into a utensil to project her own fundamentalist self-righteousness onto the reader. I sincerely hope that she does not hold a position of influence in her church. This is one of the most judgmental pieces I have ever read. Every girl wants to feel beautiful, and nowhere in the book that you claim to take literally does it EVER say that doing so through facial expressions is wrong. I’m going to end my rant now, but know that this sort of judgmental attitude is a large part of the reason that I left the fundamentalist Christian world. It has shaken my beliefs to their very core, and I may never recover or “come back to the fold.” STOP TELLING YOUNG GIRLS THAT THE “DUCK FACE” IS A SIN.

    • grace

      Amen ! If you are trying to turn away people from Christianity, well done. This will do the trick. I am a Christian, noble woman who takes respectful selfies. My Lord and Savior checks my heart and loves me all the time. I cannot even tell you how sad it is to read posts like these. This is why people dont want to be Christians.

      • k8e

        people don’t want to be Christians because they are being challenged to live differently then the world? Jesus wasn’t a free-spirited, anything goes, life of the party – he challenged the status quo, he called for a different, radical kind of living and was not accepted by the masses…not much has changed…When it’s not warm and fuzzy people complain…everyone wants heaven but few want the sacrifice

        • Anon

          You hit it on the nail k8e, warm and fuzzy. Preach it!

        • Tammy

          You are so wise, k8e…:)

      • mleck

        Statements like this just tells me how much they don’t even know God. Curse be those who call good evil and evil good. God will pour out His wrath on all unrighteousness.

  • cierra

    Completely true and one of the best articles I have ever read

  • chaz

    Why so many so called christians says “Let’s NOT be legalistic” about this matter? Is it because they don’t have Biblical basis to justify NOT wearing modest clothes with shamefacedness and sobriety that provokes LUST in the eyes of other people thus being an instrument of sin (Mat 5:27)??…. This is simply going against what is written by using their own bias rationalization and justification…

    Repost….

    Possible ROOT CAUSES:

    a. Modesty with shamefacedness and sobriety (1 Tim 2:9-10) NOT taught and implemented by their religious leaders (Mat 28:20)

    b. They are not really Christians because they do not abide God’s word (John 8:31)

    c. They are stubborn but not being admonished by their religious leaders (Titus 3:10)

    d. They are wicked but not expelled (1 Cor 5:13)

    e. Thus it becomes a norm in their group: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1Cor15:33)

    f. Or simply they have not yet heard the word from a preacher sent by God. Thus they don’t have faith yet. (Rom 10:14-16)

    1 Tim 2:9-10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

  • Grace

    While I think I understand the point that you are trying to make, I believe you might be oversimplifying the issue and that could be leading to some of the disagreement. First off, just to clarify one point, in all honesty, any selfie is sending the message, “look at me.” That’s just the nature of that particular “style” of photograpy. So, if your point is that self glorifying images are wrong, then all selfies are, in almost all cases, also wrong.

    As for the “seductive selfies,” while I agree that some poses are seductive, to a certain extent they are only seductive to those who view them as such, and because of this, drawing a hard and fast line on what is or isn’t a seductive pose is not only difficult, but also controversial. Hence the discussion about legalism.

    Perhaps an example might help. To one man, a straight on headshot might be seductive, while a very sexual pose might just look weird and goofy. To another man, the headshot is nothing more than a headshot, but the sexual pose is loaded with meaning. The photos might be the same, but the culture and the personal experiences define the meaning to each particular viewer.

    While I agree that modesty is a Biblical command for us as women, I do not believe that men are merely victims of how a photograph might make them feel or the thoughts it might conjure up. A man can allow himself to think impure thoughts from simply seeing a woman’s eyes, if he so chooses. But that does not necessarily mean that we, as Christian women, should cover ourselves completely from head to toe. What is modest is largely defined by the culture in which we live. And it is a culture more specific than simply the United States as a whole. Instead, it is a culture that can be defined as narrowly as the specific region of a state in which we live.

    Is modesty a command for Christian woman? Yes. Does modesty look the same where I live as it does where you live? Not necessarily. Is “the latest style” in and of itself necessarily immodest? No, in many cases it really depends again on culture. So, is a specific pose in the latest style morally wrong? It all depends on how that pose and style is interpreted by you and your culture. With this in mind, making a blanket statement regarding any of these factors without considering the diversity of culture could arguably be legalistic.

    • chaz

      ah yes…. the culture argument.

      An African woman who belongs to a group that does not cover their breasts but later believed in the word of God, if you are a preacher of God would you not instruct her to cover her breasts? Don’t you know that the people of God from different places of the world gather themselves together? If one follow their own culture over Christ’s teachings, there will be chaos.

      Christ teachings should rule over all Christians and not your culture! If you are a Christian you no longer follow what is the norm in your culture. No more jews, nor greeks… Because all real Christians are united in mind, in body and in spirit.. They have one teacher that they follow.

      As it is written in the book of first Timothy… “I am writing these things to you, hoping to come to you before long; but in case I am delayed, I WRITE SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW HOW ONE OUGHT TO CONDUCT HIMSELF in the household of God,

      As Christians, you only follow one law… and that’s the law of Christ

      And it’s not only wearing modest clothes but with SHAMEFACEDNESS and SOBRIETY (1 Tim 2:9-10)

      “Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?”

      • chaz

        Let me repeat folks.. Modest apparel with SHAMEFACEDNESS and SOBRIETY (1 Tim 2:9-10)

        SHAMEFACEDNESS
        1.bashful or modest
        2.showing a sense of shame

        SOBRIETY
        1. a manner that is serious and solemn

        • Sarah

          Wow, talk about twisting scripture! Shamefacedness is an inappropriate translation which is not even used in most English versions. An appropriate translation would be discreetly and without drawing attention. If you ever read the WHOLE New Testament, you will clearly read that God does not want believers to live in shame!

          • chaz

            Your doing a straw man argument on me, that ain’t fair.

            Did I say God want believers to live in shame?

            Did King James Version said God want believers to LIVE IN SHAME?

            WHO ARE YOU to say what is the appropriate translation?

            Even going to the original word “aidos” it says “A SENSE OF SHAME” or modesty…. which is totally different from TO LIVE IN SHAME

            Or do you want to say that YOU don’t have a sense of shame? That’s why you can do whatever you want and dress whatever you want without regards if it is shameful or not!

            STRONG GREEK 127:
            aidós: a sense of shame

            Original Word: αἰδώς, οῦς, ἡ
            Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
            Transliteration: aidós
            Phonetic Spelling: (ahee-doce’)
            Short Definition: shame, modesty
            Definition: shame, modesty.

            It’s bad if you don’t have a “sense” of shame

          • mychiefs58

            “WHO ARE YOU to say what is the appropriate translation?”

            the WORST way to win an argument. discount anyone’s ability to disagree with you or point out something with which you disagree.

            but, hey…a prophet like you doesn’t need to be gracious, right?

          • mleck

            Amen! God allows us to feel shame because it brings us guilt, which leads to repentance!

        • peres

          Webster dictionary defines culture as : the beliefs, customs, arts, etc., of a particular society, group, place, or time. In my culture it is the norm and even reguired that boys go through certain unChristlike rites in order to be accepted into the society as men.In some socities girs go through circumcision or they will not be allowed to get married.These are not only CULTURE in these socities, they are required and enforced. Are you telling me that my family and I and many other christians in my society made a mistake by turning away from these CULTURALLY accepted practices even in the face of persecution? No my sister Grace.We have been called to come out and touch no unclean thing. We are being called to a higher standard –Be ye holy even as your Father in heaven is holy.GOD is our standard not our CULTURE.
          Culture is what the majority of the people in a society does. The majority perished during the flood and in Sodom and Gomorah. Only two of all the men who left Egypt made it to Canaan.The majority, Jesus said,will not make to heaven.So it is just plain contradiction to have CULTURE, the customs of the MAJORITY,as our standard for dress. Sexual immorality was CULTURALLY accepted in Sodom but that didn’t stop Sodom from being destroyed.

          CULTURE includes our beliefs arts, customs etc. CULTURE is our way of life. Since the carnal mind is enmity to God, Jesus came to break this enmity and give us a new way of life with new standards. CULTURE is also defined as, “the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.” Hence culture is a human way of doing things and this is what Christ came to save us from.Christ changes not only our beliefs,which is part of culture, He changes our whole CULTURE, including dress. Just remember Christ changes from inside(thoughts) to outside(actions) So the first step is to surrender our whole being to Him. Then you will hear a voice behind you saying, this is the(new) way,walk ye in it.(“new” is added). Isaiah 31:21

          • Grace

            Peres,

            I completely agree with you that certain aspects of culture should be avoided when one comes to Christ, and I apologize that I did not make that clearer. Thank you for your thoughts. You brought up some very excellent points. I would like to readdress my initial point in even mentioning culture by stating that I merely meant to point out that we must keep in mind that to some, even the seemingly innocent photograph at the top of the blog post could be considered self glorifying rather than Christ glorifying, which, if I understood the author correctly, was the primary concern with what she described as seductive photographs.

            Also, I would like to thank you for providing the background information that helped me to better understand your points and perspective. If it helps you to understand me better, I am coming from the perspective of one whose traditional culture–both the bad and the neutral–was all but annihilated by European colonialism and so I have a tendency to be more cautious with regards to respecting the culture of others due to the fact that I do not wish to continue to perpetuate the wrong that was shown towards my own family. I personally believe that we, as Christians, are ideally to spread the gospel message without disrespecting the individuals we are sharing that message with by forcing them to adopt our own culture in the process. That was my point in defending the individual’s right to culture. I was, by no means, intending to defend immoral or unChristlike practices.

          • chaz

            Like

          • Grace

            See, we never really had a disagreement after all, lol! We were merely having a difficult time understanding each other’s perspectives. :) My guess would be, the same is true for many of the people posting here. After all, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Let us act like that and focus on our commonalities rather than attacking and belittling each other over trivial misunderstandings. :)

          • peres

            That’s very right.I know exacly what you mean because I have the same backround–European colonization.I am so proud of my heritage and whatever does not contradict the gospel I uphold.In fact, it is for the reason you gave that my own children were given only their traditional names. We don’t believe that any name is more christian than another, so why not give our kids names that we don’t have to google to find their meaning. Thanks for your concern, we need more people like you.I am glad that we are on the same page on the fact that we need, and yes we do have a basic standard for dress that we can all use to check whether our different cultural ways of dressing which are very may measure upto.

          • chaz

            Peres, Amen on that.

            If a rite/culture contradicts Christ teaching, then I’ll follow Christ first. But if it shows agreement with Christ teaching, then do it..

            Here in our country, part of our culture as respect for the elderly, we don’t just blatantly call our father or mother by their first name out of respect.

            Respect to you parents is commanded by Christ.. We even say “po” or “opo” in replacement of the ordinary word “oo” or “yes” whenever we talk to an elderly person to show respect. That’s culture which does not contradict Christ teaching…. but dressing and taking selfies in a manner that provokes lust on other people is against Christ Teaching.

      • Grace

        Chaz,

        I was not referring to complete or partial nudity when I mentioned the importance of culture, but rather to the more subtle importance of not confusing white European traditions or our own personal preferences with the core message of Christianity. So many people accuse the Catholic church of adding to Christianity like the Pharisees, but have not Protestants done the same in many ways within the United States? It is simply not as obvious due to the widespread acceptance of our denominations. Yes, some aspects of our unique cultures are indeed wrong and should be abolished when we accept Christ, however, other aspects are neutral and are part of what define us as the unique individuals we were created to be. Uniqueness in gifts brings strength to the body of Christ. Uniqueness in gender brings strength to our marriages. Why then do we view uniqueness in culture as something to be eliminated?

        Furthermore, I would like to add that you obviously inferred that I was only supporting further undressing, whereas, on the contrary, I was supporting modification of style going both directions. As one who was raised in a very conservative culture, I understand that dressing in such a conservative manner in other areas of the United States would actually be attracting attention to myself rather than deflecting attention, so I do indeed sometimes modify my dress accordingly. However, I was also speaking from the perspective that, were I to visit a Muslim country, I would myself wear some form of veil, not because I agreed with the teachings of the Koran on this matter but instead out of respect for the culture. So my point, therefore, is that out of respect for the culture, we should choose to neither overdress nor underdress, thought I should add that we should do so in a thoughtful manner and not merely follow the cultural trends blindly, for you are right in that Christ is the ultimate guide.

        I hope that this post has clarified some of your misunderstandings regarding my prior post and the role I believe culture plays.

    • peres

      Grace,
      Webster dictionary defines culture as : the beliefs, customs, arts, etc., of a particular society, group, place, or time. In my culture it is the norm and even reguired that boys go through certain unChristlike rites in order to be accepted into the society as men.In some socities girs go through circumcision or they will not be allowed to get married.These are not only CULTURE in these socities, they are required and enforced. Are you telling me that my family and I and many other christians in my society made a mistake by turning away from these CULTURALLY accepted practices even in the face of persecution? No my sister Grace.We have been called to come out and touch no unclean thing. We are being called to a higher standard –Be ye holy even as your Father in heaven is holy.GOD is our standard not our CULTURE.
      Culture is what the majority of the people in a society does. The majority perished during the flood and in Sodom and Gomorah. Only two of all the men who left Egypt made it to Canaan.The majority, Jesus said,will not make to heaven.So it is just plain contradiction to have CULTURE, the customs of the MAJORITY,as our standard for dress. Sexual immorality was CULTURALLY accepted in Sodom but that didn’t stop Sodom from being destroyed.

      CULTURE includes our beliefs arts, customs etc. CULTURE is our way of life. Since the carnal mind is enmity to God, Jesus came to break this enmity and give us a new way of life with new standards. CULTURE is also defined as, “the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.” Hence culture is a human way of doing things and this is what Christ came to save us from.Christ changes not only our beliefs,which is part of culture, He changes our whole CULTURE, including dress. Just remember Christ changes from inside(thoughts) to outside(actions) So the first step is to surrender our whole being to Him. Then you will hear a voice behind you saying, this is the(new) way,walk ye in it.(“new” is added). Isaiah 31:21

  • Debbie

    Thank you for posting this. This entire blog is spot on. Praising God for all He has done in your life.

  • http://www.hbcharlesjr.com/ H.B. Charles Jr.

    Amen!

  • CLW

    Seriously, I enjoy Winter a lot more than I do Summer. In Winter I can put more clothes on if I get cold. In Summer I can take only so many clothes off ’cause the less clothes I wear, the more unappealing I appear.

  • http://michaelcoughlin.net/ Michael Coughlin

    Well said. I wonder if dozens of people will quibble about minor points or entirely change the subject or just read it and take it to heart?

  • Allyce

    Actually this is a seductive photo…Lips apart, eyes saying “come hither”.

    • Hazel

      like what are you even saying?

  • Allyce

    String of hair hanging by the eye…

  • Hazel

    this is the dumbest post I’ve ever read. comments like these are the reason why people who don’t know jesus, want to stay away. I’m a christian and i still think this is a ridiculous blog.

    • William Whitaker

      Curious…why do you say this? (I repeat…just curious…)

      • Hazel

        I say this for many reasons. I guess when I first saw the title for this blog, I thought it was a joke. I literally laughed out loud. I sent it to a few friends. Then I clicked on it and I just thought it was very holier than tho. I had to stop reading because I just thought it was so crazy. I agree that we are called to a higher standard but I don’t think christian girls try and be seductive. I don’t think they intentionally think that their faces are going to “seduce” other guys. And i really don’t think that these pictures that are apparently “seductive” hit at a deeper issue. I think that’s so crazy. I just think girls take selfies to be funny or to look good or whatever. But I don’t think that it is to seduce men. I think the people that do think these things are probably thinking way to deep into it and should lay off. Again, if i wasn’t a christian I would look at this and think it was way too crazy for me. I have a bunch of atheists friends that if they saw this, I would be ashamed to associate myself with this religion.

        • Donna Sims Howell

          I am just curious as to why girls, Christian or not, would post a “sexy” pic if not to be seen. Not trying to argue, just really don’t understand what the point is. Any thoughts on that Hazel?

  • Dan Summers

    What one personal labels as seductive another might not. It’s all up to the beholder.
    If you don’t like posing seductively for a selfie…don’t. But do not force your ideals on others. This is all a matter of interpretation and personal taste, just because you interpret something to be unChristian does not mean some one else will interpret it the same way.

    This can be said about almost any issue…It’s open to interpretation.

    • Donna Sims Howell

      I don’t see anyone forcing anything. She simply wrote a blog. This is still a free country last I checked. She has the right to an opinion. Forcing? You came to read this of your own volition.

  • Alex Minkin

    I think this is straight up offensive to everybody who isn’t a god-fearing, fire and brimstone-believing, hypocritically holier than thou christian.

    “It makes sense that the supermodels and non-Christian girls don’t have a problem posting selfies like this.”

    care to explain? justify this? or just lump everybody else as not good enough for you?

    there are plenty of people out there who I can guarantee are a better person than you, that have better morals, upbringing and standards. And I bet some of them even take ‘seductive’ selfies and the world doesn’t seem to collapse around them. There’s even a certain group of people that existed as a major religion before you twisted the words of one of them into controlling and abusing anybody else not just like you.

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      @Alex – Thanks for stopping by. This is actually a Christian blog aimed at encouraging Christian (“God fearing”) girls. :) The point of that statement you quoted is to simply say that non-christian girls don’t live their lives based on a Biblical standard of purity. The Bible isn’t their guide for how to live a morally pure life. Therefore, we don’t question why they post seductive pictures. Christian girls, however, are given many commands for purity in Scripture and should reflect that in every area of their life.

      We’re not claiming to be “better” than anybody…we’re a work in progress that God is refining every day. Our goal here is to encourage Christian girls to think Biblically about everything they do.

      • Alex Minkin

        if you want to hold christian girls to biblical standards, at least be consistent.

        Timothy 2:11-12

        Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

        so…i guess you should be quiet? I mean, I don’t feel that personally, since my mother taught me that all people should be treated the same, but if you want to preach it, better practice it, right?

        • Ash

          Well Alex, if you want to take those verses into context..they are talking about women’s role in the church. How women should not take leadership over men, such as being pastors etc. That’s not at all saying women should be quiet literally.

          • Thiago

            Ash is correct, The greek word for quiet in this verse is ‘meek’ or having a quiet spirit, it’s a word for beauty. Make sure you interpret the Bible in it’s context, because out of its context you can make it say whatever you want, but that wont make you right.

          • lovingHim

            meekness is not at all weakness : )

        • Donna Sims Howell

          Thank you Ash. Was going to point out the context of the verses myself and saw you did. I can’t understand people “using” the word of God to get a mean point across, when they obviously don’t know the context. I also can’t understand people who obviously don’t use the word as their authority coming onto a “Christian” blog in the first place unless it’s to argue…

        • lovingHim

          This is a blog by women, for women…not to be twisted

      • Anne

        So by that statement you’re implying that supermodels aren’t/can’t be Christians?

        • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

          Anne, I wasn’t saying that at all. Typically supermodels tend to represent more of the worldly side of things (wouldn’t you agree?), therefore it wouldn’t surprise me if they posted a seductive selfie. That’s it. It was a generalization.

    • Donna Sims Howell

      This is very abusive. Doesn’t make me want to explore your religion…

      • Jonny

        I dont want to join a religion either, luckily that’s not what Christianity is.

      • Issa

        Need to add something thou, Christianity is not a “do this, do that religion” It is a decision to follow Jesus, to accept Him as Lord and Savior. Lord, that we would obey His Word and Savior, that we CANNOT do or obey Him on our own. If you find this abusive, I’m sorry. I am also a Christian girl. I stumble and fall but GOD’s love makes me stand again, that’s what ‘Christianity’ is all about. I’m praying you’d get to experience that as well. :)

      • Kersley

        Christianity is not a religion. It is a relationship with Jesus and making Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.

    • Amber

      It is a true statement because of education of the Bible as well as follow thru. Nonchristian girls and women do not hold themselves accountable to God, so they do not have the standard that is addressed here. They may feel the same on the inside, but have yet to make the commitment to be Gods follower, so the statement simply speaks to the fact that these girls choose to follow the world, while Christian girls are choosing to follow them. It is not a dis, but a statement, and if anything it just holds the girls breaking their promise to God accountable, it does not imply that one is better than the other, it speaks to morals and the fact that the Christian girls are forsaking their own morals for the fads of all girls. It’s addressing a forsaken standard

  • MM

    My, my, my…..

    I am quite disturbed and amazed at how quickly and ferociously people took offense to what this article is talking about. When did godly living and a challenge to live and act as the Bible commands become such an offensive thing to (catch this….) people professing to know Christ? I expect push-back from unbelievers. But, from Christians? What did she say that is actually wrong? Why wouldn’t we welcome a challenge such as this to be the sweet savor of Christ, and to be set apart from the world (certainly not living in a bubble, but being distinct and peculiar in a dark age as the present one?) What is written here is asking for legalism. It’s a challenge, folks, which we should be willing to seriously consider.

    • MM

      correction: What is written here isnt asking for legalism.

    • lovingHim

      I think the problem is, that many self-proclaimed Christians, go to church and talk the talk, but don’t invest their time in Bible study and truly getting to know the Word of God. Spending daily time intimately with Him, through devotions and prayer, learning His heart and His Will, above their own. As a whole, the body of Christ needs discipleship. We need to teach those who are weak, how to be strong.

  • Mike4U

    Hey, everyone saying this post is offensive and makes Christians seem holier-than-thou and better then everyone else. You might have a point, but first up: the author is not giving you her opinion, she is giving you a biblically based statement that builds on God’s standard for Christians (guys and girls) with regards to modesty. The statement can apply just as much to guys who put a whole lot of effort into trying to look good or hot to impress people. If you think this post seems holier then thou, you’re not wrong, but that’s the standard Jesus calls Christians to. We are told to be set apart and hold ourselves to a higher standard. Please remember though, that whatever your opinion, your comments here are being said to a living person, and yelling at her won’t take away the truth of what she’s saying.
    One of the best statements I’ve ever heard someone say about relationships is “Are you becoming the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for?” The type of guy that’s looking for the girls taking sexy selfies and behaving seductively, I can promise you they’re not the type of guy you’re looking for. The type of fish you’re going to catch will depend on the bait you use, stop fishing with your body if you don’t want body fish.

    • lovingHim

      Wow! well said

  • baptistgirl

    This article is calling for nothing more than a personal look at your own heart and motivations for what you do. The Bible is a sword and when it touches man-made philosophies, ideas, traditions, etc., it cuts and hurts.
    Many of the comments here really evokes a mental image of Stephen in Acts 7 as he preached truth and the “religious” leaders became so enraged because it didn’t fit their idea of “truth”.

  • Hazel

    when I first saw the title for this blog, I thought it was a joke. I
    literally laughed out loud. I sent it to a few friends. Then I clicked
    on it and I just thought it was very holier than tho. I had to stop
    reading because I just thought it was so crazy. I agree that we are
    called to a higher standard but I don’t think christian girls try and be
    seductive. I don’t think they intentionally think that their faces are
    going to “seduce” other guys. And i really don’t think that these
    pictures that are apparently “seductive” hit at a deeper issue. I think
    that’s so crazy. I just think girls take selfies to be funny or to look
    good or whatever. But I don’t think that it is to seduce men. I think
    the people that do think these things are probably thinking way to deep
    into it and should lay off. Again, if i wasn’t a christian I would look
    at this and think it was way too crazy for me. I have a bunch of
    atheists friends that if they saw this, I would be ashamed to associate
    myself with this religion.

    • lovingHim

      “Again, if i wasn’t a christian I would look at this and think it was way too crazy for me.” It sounds like you have already made up your mind. If you would be ashamed in front of your atheist friends, then you have already chosen sides. You can either choose to serve God or self (satan). Remember that satan fell because of pride. There is no grey area. The world is very deceptive and will tell you to do what’s good in your own eyes. God said, “Be Holy as I am Holy”. That was not a suggestion open for debate. I say this lovingly and without accusation. Please read your Bible Hazel and let the Lord speak His truth to you. If you don’t know Him intimately, you will not know the Truth. The Truth of God’s Word is what sets you free from following the ways of the world. Don’t let your atheist friends determine your choices. Choose Life in Him. Ask Him to open your eyes and mind to understand His Word. He will honor that. I know, because He did it for me. I used to think like you, and lived very much in the world believing I was a true Christian. It’s not until the Holy Spirit convicts you of things, that you are truly set free to live like Him and for Him. Seek Him with all of your heart, and you will not longer be ashamed before man to live a holy life that pleases Him. God bless

      • http://saturdayafternoonphotography.com Chelsea Melendez

        Oh brother, her point was to quit being so uptight. Christians are wound up way too tight and forget about grace. Read scandalous freedom by Steve Brown.

  • Queen Z

    Well said. I’m so proud of you for writing this piece. Your beauty has been intensified even the more because Truth has been poured from your lips. I pray that our Lord will continue to keep you and strengthen you.

  • Jay

    Some nice points. The only thing I noticed that is disappointing is how the author of the blog made seduction and beauty interchangeable synonyms. This is highly unfortunate. There’s a massive distinction between selfies for the sake of displaying beauty the one desires to have affirmed and seductive and sultry poses.

    Good described himself as being clothed on beauty and majesty with every intention of putting it on display, and he designed woman to perfectly reflect that very beauty.

    Seduction involves that beauty in a scheme of manipulation for the intention of ensnaring a victim.

    Beauty, and a whole lot of selfies fall into this category, is designed and purposed to make us stop dead in our tracks and say, “wow.”

    And Good should get that glory, not the woman herself. Because he designed the beauty. . She is just reflecting it.

    And we should not seek to undermine what God created by attempting to classify beauty as seduction.

  • http://www.survivingurbancrisis.com/ Silas Longshot

    The special radiance of Christian girls and women is not from makeup or ‘poses’, but the shine of the spirit within them.

  • http://www.survivingurbancrisis.com/ Silas Longshot

    The special radiance of Christian girls and women is not from makeup or ‘poses’, but the shine of the spirit within them.

  • Jacob Cunningham

    Would you be able to post some examples of what you consider a “sensual/seductive selfie”?

  • Jackie

    Well said & couldn’t agree with you more. All the flak you’re catching just proves what the current state of the church is; lukewarm & becoming desensitized. It’s so sad. As Christians we’re to be set apart from the world in all areas of our lives & bring glory to God. As your post explains these girls are more about fitting into the world & glorifying self. Out of context or not the point you are trying to prove is so true & right on. Thank you for being bold enough to write what I’ve been thinking for a long time. Pray for these types of girls & may they find acceptance & value in Christ alone.

  • mleck

    This is a very well written blog and appreciate the higher standard God call us into….if we claim to have Jesus in our hearts, then just as John 15 states, He is in me and I in Him, therefore we are One in Him. We are His living temple. Jesus did not become unrecognizably beaten and hung on the cross so we can just sit back and enjoy the ride. Absolutely not, Paul says we are to take up our cross and die daily, this means we are to become nothing, just as Christ did, and we are to die to our souls….this means everything you are becomes nothing. Yes, God created us beautiful, but it is His image we are to manifest in our lives, not ours. This is a very good blog, and I curse all those who say they are christians and are bashing her on becoming what Christ commands us to do. To be holy means to be above all else, separated. If you choose not to do this, then why call yourself a Christian!!! God, open the blind eyes!!!

    • Chris

      So cursing people is the way you want to display the love of Christ? What happened to love your enemy (or other Christians who don’t agree with you), treat others the way you would like to be treated, or how about just love people where they are at and pray for them. It’s God’s job to change hearts and minds. We are only here to help people along the way.

  • David Duncan

    If we can do right on our own, Christ died in vain. A lot of bold claims of self abilities on here that are not much different than a selfie photo….just selfie statements, same thing.

  • RS

    Maybe this is a Christian site but as a non-christian I did take offence to your second header “It makes sense that supermodels and non-christian girls don’t have a problem posting selfies like this”. First of all I’m pretty sure this epidemic and bombardment of seductive selfies effects all girls of different religions the same. It’s not any more right for a Sikh, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish girl to post seductive pics. Secondly, I’m pretty sure those religions are not in favor of seductive selfies either. To all the brainwashed people in the world realize one thing – All religions essentially teach the same things. It is just the socio-economic influences that make it appear that things are vastly different between religions. Also to all the Chrisitians out there, if you have the courage to read up on other religions and not be so influenced by your culture and families you would realize that Christianity is hardly the ‘best’ religion out there. But nevertheless it is a good one as long as folks aren’t extreme about it.

    • lovingHim

      I have read up and studied on other religions and that has only confirmed for me that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Him. It is the only religion that offers forgiveness of sins by Gods grace alone, not by works, so that no man can boast. John 3:16 says, “For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” By confessing my sins, and truly repenting in my heart, I have assurance of forgiveness. I believe on the Son, that He died for my sins, and rose again to conquer sin and death, to set me free. If He can save a wretch like me, He can save anyone, no matter how wicked or heinous, there is hope for their soul. No other religion offers that. It is not really a religion…it is a personal relationship. I can tell you firsthand that I have seen many Miraculous answers to prayer since I have been walking with Jesus for the last 9 yrs. He has changed my heart, in a way that I know, that I know, it wasn’t by my doing. My total selfishness, and self-absorption has been replaced with compassion and empathy towards others. I have turned into a giver instead of a user and taker. I pray for my enemies and those that mean me harm, I forgive instead of seeking revenge. He HAS changed me. I don’t understand it, but I am forever grateful He has saved a wretch like me. I’m not perfect, and don’t pretend to be…He is still doing a work in me that will not be perfected until I enter His presence in Heaven. You can bash Christians all you want to, but that doesn’t change the fact that Jesus loves you and died for you too.

    • RP Homeschooler

      Maybe I have been brainwashed, maybe I’m not ‘acceptive enough’, but what I find the main difference between Christianity and the other religions of the world is that in Christianity everything has been done for us to be saved. There is nothing left for us to accomplish. Jesus said on the cross that it is finished. In other religions, you have to live up to a certain standard, perform certains duties/acts of worship/live a certain lifestyle. As a Christian, I attempt to live as Jesus did out of gratitude, not because I need to do something to be good enough.

      I’ll never be good enough. If anyone wanted to get to heaven without Jesus they would have to live according to the 10 commandments perfectly from birth. No one can. As I stated before, in Christianity everything has been done and what we need to do is accept the offer. It is hard to do because our pride drives us to seek recognition, to be able to say ‘look what I’ve done. This is why I’m accepted.’

      With religions, what I find most people tend to look at is the similarities, not the differences that make THE difference. It’s like in chemicals. People can say ‘they’re all chemicals so it makes no difference which ones you use.’ But if you take that viewpoint, you run an immense risk of causing personal injury or even death.

      With religions, the differences are so crucial that the results of the choices we make are choices of life and death.

  • WarriorPrincess

    It is no surprise that so many people are offended by this article, because it speaks biblical truth. Jesus warned us that his very name would offend people. Good, it means the Holy Spirit is working. Oh and yes, my faith is better, because it’s true. How’s that for offense.

  • Shane Cronje

    Thank you for this post it blessed me and made me think things over. I will take it to the Lord and ask His guidence in the areas of need in my heart. But this artical lit up some lights that said you should take that to the Lord ;0)) Awesome to see you sharing in truth!

  • Throwback

    This is an interesting time where hypersensitivity to the treatment of women intersects with the sexual selfie explosion.

  • dieselgirl

    I think we have to be careful when writing and reading these types of blogposts. We have to remember that we are saved and stand righteous only by the GRACE of God. Now, onto living a holy life and “reflecting” Jesus…

    Why be careful? First of all, can we clarify what constitutes a seductive photo? How high does a skirt have to be for it to be seductive? How about the pucker of the lip? The angle of the gaze? The depth of the cleavage?

    I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but face it – these standards become largely man-made and subjective if we are not careful. I think purity boils down to a person’s heart. A woman can be clothed completely, buy 2nd hand clothes, post only “non-seductive” pictures of her neck up, yet have the most unforgiving, judgmental, bitter heart.

    On the other hand, one could be wearing short-shorts, a flimsy spaghetti-strapped blouse, yet her heart seeks the Lord. She is a work in progress, she reaches out to those who’ve hurt her, she realizes she is a sinner in desperate need of God’s grace.

    I’m not saying women should not care what we wear – but we should be careful that we are not heaping personal scruples and preferences upon others. I can say the same for materialism or being a good steward of our finances. I confess I frown upon women who shell out $7,000 for an Hermes bag. But what about a $20 bag from Target? Will that be being materialistic? Why couldn’t I just have bought a bag in Salvation army?

    In the end, it all boils down to the heart and motives of a person and I think we really should be careful to not be so quick to judge others. It’s reminder I need every single day as I love to sniff my nose down on others. Pride is insidious you see, so just be careful.

    • Juli

      Best comment! Thank you, and I totally agree.

    • chamown

      Didn’t the author clarify her intent to take her pictures was self-centered? She poimted to the condition of her heart during her experience to urge other Christians to not make the same self-centered mistake. I hardly consider that pride or judgmental

      • dieselgirl

        Hi chamown, I actually did not say the writer was being prideful or judgmental. What I wrote was more of a warning for all of us because this can be a slippery slope if we are not careful. If we are not careful, we may very fall into the trap of focusing too much on the externals without addressing the internal needs. I just don’t want Christianity to become known for things that you have to “do or don’t do for God” as we know that is it much more than that.

  • Joshua Babarinde

    Note these timeless truths:

    A good tree will [always] produce a good fruit and vice versa. If a TV starts working like a radio, you need no one to tell you to see the repairman. You would not say, “its a TV in the heart.” No one debates what a good or bad fruit it [there are no gray areas with God]. The lifestyle is a reflection of the heart. In the Bible, people that truly encounter Christ had a “changed life” that’s because God forgives and transforms people. Grace is so powerful [it is unmerited favour and also divine empowerment – it’s the divine influence on the heart AND a reflection on the life – Charis]
    If we want to be sincere with ourselves, majority of the issues we have today are intentional rebellions in the heart against the promptings of the Holy Spirit. He is our guide to know what to do: we openly rebel and them claim “grace.” We miss the point.
    Trust and Obedience are closely linked.

  • Dallas Lobdell

    While coming from a good heart, this article is weak. Its attempt to be a bold line in the sand fails due to vagueness and undefined terms. It essentially says “Dear Christians, there is such a thing as seductive selfies. Here’s why they’re bad…” That’s unnecessary. As Christians, we know that being seductive (outside of marriage) is something to avoid. Sharing thoughts on what You think is inappropriate about different kinds of selfies might have been beneficial. As it is, by tacking “seductive” after “selfie” it simultaneously takes the unassailable high ground (what good Christian is going to argue for more seductiveness?) while attacking an incredibly broad theme (women taking pictures of themselves).

    • Jason

      Dallas, you seems to be very critical of something that is indeed coming from a good heart. And you know what: you’re premise is wrong. Yes, “as Christians” we SHOULD know that seductive pictures are something to avoid. But that’s just not the case. We would be naive to think differently.

      Kristen, you’re right. This has become a new normal and if we’re actually going to reflect or be imitators of God, we’re not going to showcase our bodies seductive, sexual ways. Thanks for applying God’s word to this issue!

      • https://www.youtube.com/user/TheDallasDwayne Dallas Lobdell

        Jason, thanks for the reply. I must have communicated my point poorly if You thought my premise was that we all know being seductive is wrong. My premise is that this article uses vague, undefined terms. Perhaps You could give me Your interpretation of what they mean by “seductive selfie”? Is a picture girls take to sexually arouse men or just a picture that men find arousing or perhaps something altogether different?

  • Louie Neira

    I’m of two minds on this: first, for a Godly person, it’s clearly wrong to post selfies intended to attract attention, regardless of the nature or imagery of the post. Yes, many girls/women do post photos of themselves in sexually provocative poses, and they’re doing so to attract not only boys/men, but to one-up their “competitors.”

    There’s a saying that “women dress to impress not men, but each other. If women dressed to impress men, all they would have to do is wear as little as possible.” And, to a point, this is true.

    Secondly, another type of posting I find questionable is when the person posts nothing but religious images and phrases, as if being a Christian was a spiritual competition. When I read posts like this, it sends up a similar flag and while I don’t contest the blogger’s intent, I do question the logic.

    Intent and perception is everything. If a girl chooses to dress seductively or post images for the purpose of gratifying her ego and bolstering her esteem, regardless of subject matter, then the intent comes from self, not from God. When we fail to honor God, or put ourselves first, we fail as Christians.

    I have a friend who is a very Christian girl, very God-loving and with a good heart, yet most of her attire at this time of year are short-shorts, halter tops and bikinis. She looks like she stepped out of the pages of a swimsuit magazine, but she carries herself with dignity and respect. While she is saving herself for the right man, she sees nothing morally wrong or ambiguous about enjoying her God-given body, her temple of Divine Spirit.

    She doesn’t post “seductive selfies” – she doesn’t need to do so to prove anything. At this moment, she’s probably lying poolside in a skimpy bikini, reading her daily devotional (and probably getting the pages wet because she just got out of the pool), posting the best passages which she hopes brings others closer to God.

    When I look at her, of course I see the beauty of physical form, but this is only a distraction. One of the best things about having her in my life is getting to have her as a spiritual haven of sorts. I turn to her when I ‘m feeling spiritually weak and my soul needs solace. Her voice and message is not her own, but the Lord’s.

  • engeltje op mijn eigen manier

    sjonge ik zit met verbazing te lezen hoe geweldig jullie jezelf vinden als christen !tis lachwekkend maar ook eng hoe jullie alles maar dan ook alles terugkoppelen naar god en de bijbel ,kom op zeg stelletje hypocrieten !welk jaar is het ?
    gho ja oh wat erg zelfs christelijke meisjes maken selfies hallo dat gebeurt overal en ja da’s niet altijd even handig maar zie het als een hype maar ja jullie daarentegen kunnen altijd nog gered worden door te bidden ga toch fietsen wat een onzin .soms doen mensen menselijke dingen !wat een schok zelfs diepgelovige of is het ‘we laten de wereld geloven dat we zo geloven”‘?!
    die christelijke meiden die dat doen willen misschien wel een beetje meedoen met de rest vd wereld ?lees>>hoe dan andere mensen dat buiten deze sekte achtige allesgoedmakende godsdienst doen lekker spannend voor en keer .
    het stoort mij altijd enorm dat jullie iedereen buiten jullie vorm vn geloof beoordelen /dat mag niet staat vast ook wel ergens .
    ik walg serieus van dit soort zoete ach gossie teksten en al dat lof wat er op volgt ,bah zeg
    laat gewoon iedereen in zijn waarde /ongeacht ras/geloof of wat dan ook , dingen gebeuren bij alle volkeren niemand uitgezonderd !en een christen is niets beter dan een ander ga je schamen !!
    ik verrek het om dit in jullie taal te doen al ken ik die prima ga maar lekker uitzoeken

    • Jenni

      Geliefde, de auteur zelf is een christelijke. Deze wereld heeft allerlei dingen en dat maakt het moeilijk voor een christen om hun geloof te belijden en worden gezien als puur. Ik ben onder de indruk je niet een christen. Dat is prima met me, zijn uw keuze. Deze auteur had een veroordeling voor iets dat ze dat deed haar behoefte aan God en Zijn verheerlijking vervangen. Gods verlangen voor de mensheid is voor ons om Hem te leren kennen, om gemeenschap met Hem. Hij verlangt ook als we onszelf zien als Zijn vervolgens naar te handelen en te leven. Niet als degenen die proberen om alleen aan het vlees, maar om Hem tevreden te stellen. Het is een concept dat kan worden begrepen door een christen. De Bijbel doet vertellen ons dat zij die niet gelovigen zullen het tellen als dwaasheid. Maar ik hoop dat je Hem toestaan ​​om te laten zien wie Hij is en we kunnen ontmoeten in de hemel een dag! God zegene u!

      • engeltje met eigen mening

        Well now,thank you for trying to answer in Dutch although it’a puzzle 😉 but I appreciate the gesture .
        Point is I live next to a Christian family and somehow it gets on my nerves ,whole different subject but allow me to explain .
        Every morning they wake me with the sound of yelling/slamming doors etc.
        I need to listen to the songs/prayers and bible reading out loyd when my backdoor is open due to the lovely weather ,so far I’m ok with that I respect others but….
        When one of their children comes to my house they want to tell me what to do for instance turning of my tv or radio because that’s not allowed ,when I’m sitting in my own backyard she tells me to speak in a soft voice to my own family because it’s disturbing (while her family is praying ,yelling and slamming doors out loud…)but at the same time she wants the world to all become Christian because according to her that’s the only way to be safed .
        Whit that attitude she bassicly tells me I’m no good for not following her believes that’s wrong and sets a bad example
        I came accros this article by accident and because of my own experience with probably the wrong example for your religion I felt the need to speak and yes I came on a little strong and probably she not even by reading it or react to it ,but….I hope you somehow understand why …..

    • Jenni

      Ik beloof u, als christelijke Ik zie mezelf niet als beter dan iedereen die niet van dezelfde onze verschillende geloof. Ik zie iedereen als een ziel God houdt en wil een relatie. Ik zie mezelf als een Hij betaalde een hoge prijs voor bee in staat om een ​​relatie met hebben. zodat ik niet mijn leven aan Hem te eren. Ik ga niet perfect te zijn, maar Hij belooft als ik vraag en bekeer ik zal vergeven worden. dat is alles wat ik kan hopen voor iedereen.

  • Jeremy

    Maybe this started as an innocent topic for discussion… But I think either the comments or maybe miscommunication from the article has created an unnecessary heated debate. This isn’t something people should be angry about. I get opinions but… I don’t know, I guess I’m being naive. Just wish it were possible to see discussion without division…

  • Will

    Women today, ALL WOMEN, enjoy a much higher social status in this current age of postmodern feminism. If you really want to get down to brass tacks, the reason why these “Christian” girls(real or otherwise) are doing this is because they have all the protections this world can give them. In layman’s terms, they are “sheltered” from the more serious consequences of sin. They are blameless and without fault. To use a perfect-fitting word, “untouchable”. As the Welsh proverb goes, “It is easy to be brave behind a castle wall,” so is it the case with Christian girls practicing their freedom without any immediate consequence. As much as I hate to say it, you have to remove the castle wall and show women nowadays how vulnerable they truly are. We’re not exactly at that point yet, but we’ll be getting there in this lifetime, but it’s really hard to teach them they’re not doing the right thing now when nothing is happening to them. That’s my speculative option, but I’d like to leave this off by citing Roman 6 as a reason why nobody should use their freedom as a vice to continue sinning in any way. But, again, that’s a hard sell right now in this day and age. Try telling the one who is put on a pedestal that they are in some sort of vulnerability.

  • engeltje met eigen mening

    Am I the only Dutch to respond ?!I can not believe this discussion …Already wrote my point of vieuw and yes in Dutch because I was just stunned by all the comments about the Christian faith you all preach,making it sound as if any other “different”person isn’t worth walking around this planet …..seen from my European point of vieuw …..be openminded to all people !respect others /a “non”believer isn’t anything less because he or she thinks different…and yes girls making these selfies don’t “think”obviously and should be warned but….not ALL things in life can be cured by prayers …..please have some respect and stop putting your Christian believe on top of anything or anyone else …..

    • Jordan

      I love you. This is another great comment. Wish there were more people with wisdom like you.

  • Sadia

    I posted a comment after reading this article but the author saw it fitting to remove my comment which had no reason to be removed..It was my first time on this site and probably my last after taking the time to respond and then have it removed?

    • Blessedthistle

      It was not removed. Scroll down.

  • Anonymous

    “Christian Girls”? How does religion change anything at all. You could be catholic but enjoy killing people. Before you reply “Why would you say that… it makes no sense”. Well take a look at the article name. “Why Christian Girls Post Seductive Selfies”. Why could it not be “Why Girls post seductive Selfies”. Why does religion make it a bad thing all of a sudden? Has it ever accrued to you that maybe puberty is what makes people pose “seductively”. You don’t see any eight year old girls posing seductively. But right when it comes to the teens they are at it. It is hormones at the work of God’s hands that make us act this way. Weather you embrace it the right way or wrong, don’t blame society for this. These people choose to do it. “That is all I have to say about that” – Forest Gump

    • Jenni

      I beg to differ. The religious/religion reference is not that its only “bad” when Christian girls post these said pictures. Its the overall appearance of evil that the bible warn us to stray away from. Its the reason we are encouraged men and women alike, if you are a christian then live your life blameless. You will not see or hear a non christian berate another likeminded human for not glorifying God in their actions. But the minute a christian does not act like they are expected to they are berated and ridiculed. The author makes a valid point that if you are seeking to glorify God then tempting others with your looks is not a good way to do so. The bible cautions zealous christians to not cause another to sin. You must reconcile what sin is first. It’s serving the flesh above God. Also Ecclesiastical writings point out vanity as a way we become distracted from God. This allows temptation and sin. A little girl posing in a way thats seemingly seductive to the beholder is not their fault when unintentional. But girls mimic girls. As we age into maturity we can understand for ourselves the reason to avoid these poses. The author makes her point on us wanting more attention from others to give ourselves a sense of worth. When really if we focus on God we can find our worth in Him. It satisfies the need and eliminates the stubbling sin factor on others and ourselves.

      • Jenni

        Also as Christians we need to give encouragement to our fellow bros and sis’s in Christ. So this is the agenda of the article. If you are not a christian but are persuaded to live a more selfless lifestyle and this strikes a nerve of conviction then by all means head the authors advice and live accordingly.

      • Jordan

        I like the last three sentences

    • val

      Have you looked on FB? There are women everywhere posting seductive inappropriate pictures of themselves not just teens.

  • dieselgirl

    Hello sadia, I agree with what you said. And i appreciate women who act upon their convictions to purity. These actions then stem from a relationship with God. The problem with this is that while the Bible does say we have to keep pure, stay away from immorality, or do not cause others to stumble – I just don’t want it to justify pharasaical attitudes we can have about ourselves or others. We MAY deem ourselves more holy when we start doing these things for the Lord. It’s very possible to unconsciously start making a list of things to do to make ourselves holy (which includes how long I did my Bible study today, how many people I’ve helped, etc). I just don’t want Christianity to become performance-based and it can easily become that if we are not careful.

    I have same struggle as you and have also experienced judgment from other Christians because of non-doctrinal issues. I just want us to remember how Jesus was when He was in the face of the detestable and unwanted in society – sinners who were viewed as utterly immoral (look at dining with tax collectors and his friends plus lady at the well). I truly want to please God and grow in Christ-likeness and I want to be like Him as He was to those people and they may be Christian women who just don’t know any better.

    What I wrote was essentially a “warning” that we CAN respond with condemnation and judgment towards those who pose “seductive” photos instead of mercy and grace. mercy and grace does not mean we wink at their actions, but that we should see we are actually on same boat, needing the same grace from God. Hope that made sense.

  • Jennifer Cook

    Great article!

  • Anon

    This article was awesome! Thank you so much for bringing this out and you made so many wonderful points.

  • Melissa

    I don’t agree with this… In fact I actually hate it! The idea that a “Christian girl” can’t post posed pictures because it might be “seductive” bugs me. I have always had an issue with the way the church views women’s bodies and what is right in “God’s eyes”. The author interchanges the words beauty and seductive as if they are tied hand in hand. Maybe girls post selfies because they are fun. Maybe it’s because they are innocent and gives us a chance to show others how we are doing. My sister and I posed for pictures during Easter and neither of us did it for guys or because we wanted to look “sexy”. We did it because we were all dressed up and we could. It was innocent fun. Those who look deeper into things take the innocence out. Sure some women do things for the wrong reasons but so do men. Our bodies are created perfectly by God. I am done being told my body is the reason men sin. I am done being told I need to hide my back and shoulders and legs “because they will stumble my brothers in Christ.” I have a right to wear shorts when it’s hot and a tank top when the sun is beating down on me. I should be allowed to post pictures that make me feel beautiful without being shamed. So should other women, both in and out of the church.

    • eva

      Melissa, I think you just missed the point if the article. It’s not jusr that they’re posting selfies, it’s how they are posting them. It’s how they pose or what that try to show off to everyone.

    • Jenny

      Melissa, you may have the “rights” to do many things because you live in a wonderfully free country. But as a child of God who bought you with the blood of Jesus, you do NOT have the right to do anything that He says not to. It’s taken me years to understand that my body does not belong to me. Our culture screams just the opposite. Ask God about those rights and wait to hear from Him. (Note: I don’t thing their is anything wrong with tank tops as long as your breast are covered by them. I’m responding to your use of the phrase “I have a right to…”) Love to you my much younger sister. May you surrender to God much, much sooner than I did and avoid a lot of scars. :)

      • Jordan

        Is your God giving you freedom or are You taking your freedom away. To say that you do not have the right is troublesome to me. God gives us choice, that is the only thing that we have. We have the choice to follow him or the choice to follow ourselves. If we follow him, he will take the unrighteous things away from us. However, it is never you that will take it away from yourself. Love God and love Love, and he will make your path straight.

    • Sarah

      Hi Melissa. I know some denominations / churches are overly strict about what women can and can’t wear, nevertheless I think it’s safe to say that a large majority of the Christian world does not consider most shorts and tank tops to be seductive – if not really tight, short, etc…and you are right that women can’t be responsible for all sexual thoughts that men may have. After all a women could be wearing long pants and a long sleeved shirt and a man could potentially still get tuned on. However, as women we are taught that men are visual, so it’s important to simply be mindful what we wear (just like we wouldn’t purposely wave a giant ice cream sundae in the face of someone who was dieting). So go ahead and wear shorts/tanks, I sure do! Just consider the “dieters” you may encounter throughout the day. :)

    • Tori

      I somewhat agree. I like to look pretty/trendy and I wear shorts and tanktops when it’s hot and I am pretty sure I do so mondestly. Different people have a different opinion of what is right in Gods eyes. I pray about and wear what I feel is appropriate. I don’t think that the author meant to say that christian girls can’t get dressed up and post photos, I know I do. I used to do photo shoots with my friends. It’s fun, its nice to be dressed up. I think its more about individuals who purposely pose in ways they know are seductive and will attract the “wrong” kind of attention. Your body is not the reason men sin. Men sin by their own choice. I personally wear what I like and am comfortable in and I try to dress modestly so not to make the situation worse. I don’t want to be part of a mans CHOICE to sin but it’s really between you and God. God Bless!

    • Val

      I really agree with you Melissa. My only concern is that as Christian women, pictures should show some level of modesty because the bible does specify that we ought to be different from the world, which includes our way of dressing. I like taking pictures of myself but I keep the real sexy ones in my phone for me and my best friends to look at every now and then. I like to see the physical changes as the years go by. Yes, even the not so good. Lol I see nothing wrong with being a little sexy though. There is nothing wrong with showing off your lovely arms and a little leg. It just seems like Christian females these days are becoming more worldly! The breast are out, the stomach is showing and there are poses of them turning around to show their butt. Really! Some even leave comments like, “You like this,” “Don’t I look good,” or “Where are the good guys.” It shows a level of arrogance which God talks about us not being puffed up. We must look into our hearts and see the motivation behind some the pictures we post. It is one thing to post a cute picture or something a little sexy of yourself, like the one above, but it is another to show really seductive pictures with our body parts all exposed! Shorts are fine but what is too short? Are you posting pictures of yourself in shorts that expose your buttocks? Can people see the crack of your butt? Are your breast all out of your shirt? Is your belly button exposed? I’m just being honest here!

  • jewel

    Great article. I believe a person could post pictures that are not sinful, however your intent on focusing on the girls who do is very valid and true. May we all search our hearts before God. We represent Him!

  • Ashlley

    Per the disclaimer for the cover photo:
    There are many people who only read article headlines and look at the cover photo or just skim and look at pictures. When I initially saw this article posted on Facebook, I was upset by the implication that the photo of the beautiful girl was considered ‘sensual’.

    Regarding the topic:
    ‘Sensual’ is such a relative term, and in many cases, it is impossible to know the intent or ‘heart’ of the person posting the photo. Someone who is small chested, not smiling and staring into the camera might appear less ‘sensual’ than a large chested woman wearing the same shirt as the small chested woman, also not smiling and staring into the camera. Some women have a cheerful, smiley face when resting, others have a more serious, pouty face when resting. Does that mean they should not post a picture of themselves, in the chance that a man may see their face and gather that the woman is posing seductively, consequently causing the man to stumble? The woman with the beautiful and attractive face should not be ashamed to share her picture, because God made her appear (what society defines as) sexy. I love that people are able to write about their thoughts and opinions online and share ideas with each other. We must remember, though, that our job as Christians is essentially to love God and love others. That’s it. Not to judge looks and actions and to speculate about the state of others’ hearts. Women are beautiful, and are too often shamed for the way God made them, the way He intended them to be. God also designed men to be attracted to women, wether they are looking ‘seductive’ or not.

    Let’s worry less about what others are doing, love each other more, encourage each other more, and embrace the beautiful people God created is to be.

  • oliviadegracia

    I think the intention of writing this article is good and it is just encouraging us to set OUR STANDARDS high AND run away from any kind of COMPROMISES.
    And while reading some of the comments, I just prove that having or setting your standard is a PERSONAL DECISION. After all, who can JUDGE a person’s heart? None of us… And I believe none of us should do so. It is only God who can judge us, he knows the deepest thoughts of our hearts. At the end of the day it will remain BETWEEN YOU AND GOD. Every actions you do, you alone will be held responsible and accountable with it.. So, if the writer of this article prefers to please God through “NOT Posting seductive selfies” well because it is her PERSONAL DECISION

  • Will

    I was really talking about the castle wall that “Caesar” supplies. The government and the law of the land protects women as we all know. But like I said, try taking away such protections and see what happens. Suddenly, you’re going to have women who will do anything they can to protect themselves, but as of now they don’t even know what they need to be saved from. The dirty little secret in all this is that we MEN are the ones who are vulnerable and are on the run. We’re the ones who need to be careful not to screw our lives over and save ourselves for the perversity of this current age of postmodern feminism. It is not friendly nor fashionable to be a man today in the Western world, trust me on that. I see the irony of the shoe being on the other foot: *I* have to maintain moral purity as a man in this world just so I don’t fall into deep sorrows.

  • John

    I’ve been serving as a youth leader for several years in a country in Eastern Europe. One of the topics we have discussed together with the youth, many times, was exactly the subject of your article. I’m thankful and I’m praising God for your courage to bring up the topic. I want to ask for your permission to share our article at our youth meeting.

    I remember in a summer camp we split the group in girls and boys and debated on all the discussion points and then gather together to present the conclusions. The girls were shocked to hear from the boys group what was the negative impact of some of their “innocent / naive” actions. The girls admitted they’ve never intended to have those results, or they have not thought on all the consequences. (The boys had also their wake up call when the girls presented some their discussion conclusions).

    We are living in a culture were you can not sell a “horse shoe” without the sensual picture of a female (as a profession I’m in sales and marketing, and I’m aware what are the trends in advertising). So, as a teenager, after you are bombarded all day with the same message: beauty, sensual, provocative is good, is recommended, is an advantage what is your behavior going to be.

    Let me quote one of the verses that we had printed on the Tshirs in a summer mission camp: “The desire of a man is his kindness” Proverbs19:22a KJV. In my Bible (my native language translation) for the word desire it is used “charm” and it sounds like this: What makes the charm of a man is his kindness.

    Like in so many other aspects of our life our values and priorities are so different from God ones. He look at the heart, He looks for kindness, humbleness, honesty etc. We praise and value more: beauty, pride, somebody who is sneaky.

    Do not get me wrong, I’m married to a beautiful wife, for 9 years now, but on top of her beauty is her kindness, her humbleness, her honesty, her desire to walk every day with God, her love for me, and for our children. This is beauty that lasts and that counts.

    What it shocked me when I tough about it, was that out of all my university girls colleague, the popular ones were the last to get married, or are still single or already divorced.

    So my question I would encourage girls and my daughter to ask themselves before they would post a picture of themselves would be: is your picture giving praise to God? does it show the true values/gems God has invested in you? is it possible for somebody to fall into temptation while looking at the picture? what is the real motif of you posting that particular picture?

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Sounds like you’re doing some great work in Eastern Europe! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. And yes, please feel free to share this article or republish it anywhere you would like, just make sure to include a link back to this original post. Blessings!

    • Belinda McCowan

      Awesome self-reflective questions! I hope I can remember all of them so I can share them with the young ladies that I have influence over. :)

  • Kay

    If you aren’t a Christian, you shouldn’t be offended by this article, as it does not even apply to you, therefor it does not discriminate against you.

    To those of you completely misunderstanding the article, and taking it out of context…really? Don’t make it say something it isn’t. Try rational reasoning. The point is simply that seductive selfies are un-Christian conduct. Any mature Christian would agree with this, because it’s true. Based on the principles in the Word, posing seductively is not something those claiming to follow Christ should/would be doing…because it’s not following Him, it’s following a worldly, carnal nature…the nature we are, as Christians, trying to put off. It in no way says selfies are wrong; it’s referring to the nature of certain selfie poses. If a person is claiming to be a follower of Christ, and takes or posts pictures of themselves in a seductive manner, they have completely missed, whether intentionally or ignorantly (unknowingly), the principles in the Word.

    • Cassie

      As a former Christian, it certainly does apply to me. Also, just so you’re aware, telling a group of people that this “doesn’t apply” and they aren’t allowed to feel offended because they’re not part of your group, is actively discriminating against their possible input. But I digress…

      This article does apply to everyone who reads it because as human beings, we’re inclined to soak up information like a sponge. When we take in that information it has the ability to change the way we think. I say this is relevant to me and all others because it’s perpetuating an idea that can effect a huge number of people. It teaches girls that their bodies are something shameful unless properly covered. It teaches that there is something inherently sinful about being seductive. You may not see it this way, but a young girl growing up with this instruction usually will. I certainly did. This thinking leads to insecurity. We are left wondering why we are so bad that we have to cover up. And if we don’t, we feel like we are ruined. This is an unhealthy way of thinking.

      Furthermore, you say it’s not godly to post seductive selfies because it’s not based on the principals of the bible. Where in the world did you find scripture to back up that claim? I’d like a reference that even slightly resembles your claim.

      And come on, comparing a selfie to worldly, carnal nature? You’re kidding.

  • gaby

    I really liked the article, I think every woman is beautiful and that can be shown in any picture for the right motivation. Now I understand, deep down we know and we can get upset about the implications behind a sexy selfy. I have read tons books of psychology and they agree about the real motives behind a sexy picture. When someone takes a nice pic with a right motivation, it can be seen in the result. when I used to do it, deep down i knew it was insecurity and I am glad I am a person that everyday is willing to change for the right reasons. In my opinion the article is logical and constructive.
    Thanks to the author

  • Anna

    What counts as seductive? Many girls can be fully clothed and just sitting minding their own business and are accused of being seductive. My mom refused to order any of my senior pictures where my whole body was photographed because she thought they were too seductive. The reality is I’m just curvy and all I have to do is stand to be considered seductive.

    The problem that people don’t want to admit is that rather than nurturing and cherishing women the Church too often shames us for being women and scapegoats us to cover the sins of men. It’s easier to make women ashamed of our bodies than it is to teach men self control and personal responsibility.

    Women and girls intentionally posting seductive pictures is partly a rebellion against the teaching that a woman’s body is sinful, dirty, and dangerous to men. The other part is the need for love, attention, and affirmation. We wouldn’t feel this way if we were being loved and cherished by Christians the way we are supposed to be instead of being ahamed and degraded for being women.

    • Jay

      Anna, you nailed it. I’m a guy. I’m not 100% comfortable whittling the problem down to, “It’s easier to make women ashamed of our bodies than it is to teach men self control and personal responsibility.” However, you’ve nailed a discrepancy in our current rhetoric and conversation within the Church.

      I think the real focus is the differences in Beauty vs Seduction. For men and women alike to understand the subtle differences, and learn how to appropriately handle both – for to nurture beauty and appreciate it while refusing to manipulate via seduction, and for me to nurture beauty without it necessarily resulting in an erotic arousal.

      How? Understand what beauty is and why God created it. That’s right, GOD MADE BEAUTY. I refuse to be one of the people who’s actions or words says, “God why did you make this stuff. It’d be better if we didn’t have to deal with it because it’s hard. We’re just going to encourage everyone to leave it alone. We think it’s just safer that way. Thanks, anyway God. We really do appreciate you thinking about us. We just feel like you missed the mark on this one and gave us more than we can handle.”

    • http://www.girldefined.com/ GirlDefined

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Anna. The main point of this article is to address Christian girls who are purposely and intentionally posting seductive pictures of themselves. We don’t see any “okays” in Scripture for a Christian girl to behave in an impure way. This article is best taken as a loving challenge and exhortation to our fellow sisters to live a set-apart (holy) life for Christ. We’re not perfect and don’t claim to be…we just see this particular issue as a trending problem and felt prompted to address it.

      We firmly believe that God is the author and designer of beauty and that women were specifically created to reflect much of that beauty. In fact, we wrote an encouraging blog to Christian girls about that very topic. It’s called, “A Call to Be Beautiful.” Check it out here: http://www.girldefined.com/call-beautiful

      You might be interested in this blog post too: “A Popular Way to Lose Your Respect as a Girl” http://www.girldefined.com/popular-lose-respect-girl

      Thanks for stopping by. God bless!

  • Patti Blount

    Thank you for holding young women and their daughters accountable to the Word of God in this age. I’m afraid we have the frog boiling in the pot syndrome, and he is getting used to the hot water that is killing him. More cleavage, more thigh, lower bikinis, tighter clothes, overtime makes things seem normal, as you said, and the righteous standards of God are going down the drain. Sad. I am convinced, that although there are arguments here about “judging” others, and about what is in the heart, that if women really want to follow the Lordship of Christ in their lives, that His Holy Spirit would show them what is seductive and what is not, and they would be happy to bless His heart in this way.

  • Dawn hummer

    Amen!! This is the best article I’ve read in a long time!! I am reporting this and printing it for my daughters to read. Thank you so much for writing something every young woman should read and heed!!

  • Jordan

    This entire site is offensive

    • Chris

      as it is written,

      “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense;
      and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”

  • Maren Breitwieser

    I’m 59 & happily married for 35 years & counting:-) I think nice girls really don’t understand what they’re doing by dressing/posing, etc. & not nice girls know exactly what they’re doing-MANY GOOD POINTS-THANK YOU!

  • Bethany

    I really don’t think that taking a picture with a hip cocked to one side or with kissy lips is seductive. As long as the girl is wearing clothes that don’t reveal too much, I think that those kinds of photos are fine. There are seductive pictures out there, but I personally think that the guidelines set in this post are a bit much.

  • Leah

    Ruth 3:4 she lays next to man. If that’s not seduction, then I don’t know what is. Seduction is more than a picture of kissy lips and posed hips. It’s a action and you bet any girl knows what she is doing. What a girl does and wears is between her and God. If you feel you did wrong then repent sweety. Let’s not judge others. Not all cultures have the same idea of “modesty”.

  • Debi Weaver

    Thank you for writing this honest look from the perspective of the inner person facing the choice to seek a higher standard. Thank you for mentioning motivations and heart issues. May your love and pursuit for the things of God encourage other sweet girls on the same path.

  • http://once-your-beautiful-butterfly.tumblr.com Kari

    Thank you so much for writing this! I just graduated high school and that was completely how I would act because I was looking for other people’s acceptance of me. I recently changed because God completely turned my life around but I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful reminder! Keep inspiring :)

  • Liera

    The picture of the girl up top is very sexy. She is saying “Who me? I am so pretty, and innocent, aren’t a beautiful?” Who actually stands and poses their face like that on a normal basis. Just because it does not show her body, does not mean her expression isn’t saying sexy. The exact reason for that photo is to admire her beauty. Proof- 1. Her heavy makeup 2. Her gazing unrealistic look 3. The photoshopping making her look more pure and more beautiful than any1 looks in real life. Good post though. I thought the picture was purposefully what you would consider a sexy facial pose, and is why you put it on there (read the disclaimer at the bottom and was shocked).

  • Guest

    Christian girls are still girls and among the most phony of them all. It IS NOT just selfies. I grew up in the church and they were the easiest of all. They would put up a front but it didn’t take long before they were telling me exactly what they wanted from me…

  • Aaron

    In your head you can make any article, teaching or conversation to make it sound like it is insensitive, de grating or descrimative (just like people do with the entire bible). It’s an article to have you think twice about your selfie and ask yourself “is it in the name of Christ?”

  • Blane

    This article is so true. I have personally noticed that girls who post seductive selfies are either inactive in church, straying away from the church or no longer in the church.

  • DA

    Amanda, I’m so sorry for the late reply. I didn’t notice this until today. I was not referring to all pictures. I was referring specifically to the seductive selfies the author’s referenced. Assuming you’re a Christian woman, your seductiveness should be saved for your husband’s eyes only. If you choose to post seductive selfies as a married woman then you only draw negative attention to yourself (and I’m assuming you wouldn’t want to do anything to make others think less of you or your husband). I have yet to meet a godly person (man or woman) who saw a seductive selfie by a married woman and thought “Oh look, how nice!” Ungodly men will ogle you, godly men will bounce their eyes off of you and keep it moving. Ungodly women won’t have an issue with it (since they do it too) and godly women will either pray for you and/or remove/block you from their husband’s friend list. Assuming you’re truly satisfied with your husband’s attention then you won’t need to post seductive selfies. Feel free to post regular selfies though to show off your makeup, clothes, etc. my friends do this all the time and I don’t have a problem with it anymore than God does (at least I don’t think he does!) :-)

  • Marilyn A. Binay

    Thank you for writing this. Very true.

  • Suzi

    lol judging betches. yeah obviously selfies are a serious cry for attention. but this article is just a girl being judgemental of others. I cant stand when someone like this author creates such a dichotomy between “Christian” and, gasp, “non-christian” people. truth is, if it bothers you, unfollow that insecure girl. or just hate secretly. no need to post an article about what everyone already knows.

    • Amber

      This author equates non-Christians with having no morals. How insanely ridiculous to lump millions of different people into one group. She clearly needs to get off Facebook and spend time learning more about people outside her religion. Poor sheltered, ignorant girl.

  • gail

    Being a Christian does not guarantee that our flesh will yield to the character of Christ. Our spirit/hearts are renewed to accept and receive, but it is only in seeking who we are in Christ rhat rhe transformation happens. Intimacy with Jesus makes the difference in our walk.

  • megal stanly

    Firstly. Posting seductive pictures does not immediately put you into the “non-christian” category! It does not make you Christian either if you don’t. Be young and free and don’t give shiz what people think! Secondly, the fact that you did it and are now judging people for doing exactly what you did is disgusting and unchristian like. Don’t judge people for something you have done. And lastly. You do not have to ensure that your photos are not seductive to share the word of God!!!

    • tam

      Do we stand on the creator of this worlds WORD or Not.?????

    • Ruben

      Come-on, nothing can put you in the “non christian” category !! Not drinking, not stealing, not even prostitution (remember Mary Magdalene), so neither raping nor killing !! The only thing is “to sin wilfully”, after being born again … Heb 10:26-29 … Even there, there is still hope (1 John 1.9).
      So the question the author ask is just: is posting a seductive photo should “be of faith” or not ?
      “For Whatsoever is not of faith is sin.” Rom 14.23

      • Chris

        :) Friend, you just took Heb 10:26-29 out of context. This passage is speaking to the Jews that were once under the Law, came to the perfect knowledge of Jesus and his revised covenant, then chose to return to the old system of sacrifices. Of which we all know cannot save.

        To say that one can sin “willfully” is to imply that you can sin unintentionally. A total misnomer. The fact is, all sin is a result of a choice. Search your own intentions, you will discover that every act that you have ever done, whether good or bad, has been according to your will. Go back to Hebrews 10 26-29 and read it again with this knowledge and see if you understand it better. Of course, willful sin separates. What I am saying is that all sin is willful. and like you mentioned before 1 John 1:9 is a beautiful passage.

    • Marissa

      I think you’re missing the point. You most definitely need to “be unspotted from the world” as said in James, and that includes posting seductive and sexually immoral photos.

  • Kristen

    I personally think this is very one-sided. I understand that God calls us to not be self-centered. I understand SOME girls are “needy” or “there’s a deeper issue”. However, when a girl posts a “selfie”, she KNOWS that she is beautiful inside and out if she is secure enough inwardly on how she considers her appearance. I UNDERSTAND some photos are more seductive than others! But did it ever cross your mind that a) girls can praise God by honoring their bodies and mind by being assured in the blessing God gave them of their appearance and b) the girl in your photo above is wearing makeup? Isn’t makeup in this world a “sexualizing” tool anyway? Sure, makeup enhances features and sometimes it’s like art on one’s face. But in the context of this article, I find it VERY contradictory that you would include such a disclaimer at the end for such a secular picture. If you’re going to post about how girls should put the attention on God and not themselves, please choose a photo of a woman smiling, or NOT wearing makeup, or just anything except the one you have. I am being an incredibly nit-picky commentor here; but please know that if you wish to see positive, Christian change in this society, you must get EVERYTHING correct. You must not be condescending. You must not be contradictory. You must not completely BLOCK OUT other perspectives; it helps to keep the entire message relatable. Readers never appreciate feeling like they just got a finger shaken at them with a “tut-tut-tut” to complement. Thank you for considering my words. God bless.

    • Ruben

      You really have the point about the contradiction !! You really explained and demonstrated it exactly as it should ! I hope the author Kristen Clark will read it.

      But I can’t agree with the “one-sided” and “judgemental” accusation. Read Jesus ! He was deadly one-sided…. Very deadly (this is how he saved us actually). Just the sermon in the plain (Luke 6.17-49), or Mat 23, or John 8…. And God in the Old testament … Ex 20 for instance … lol.
      In our church, we need one-sided sermons, and other sermons with an other point. And also 2-sided sermons (as the sermon on the Mount, or Mat 24…). We need what we need, the Holy Ghost chooses. This article is for christians, only christians can get it with the proper balance… About judgement, I don’t think she judges, just tries to understand. A (very good) psychologist can say tons of info just with a pic (I experienced that several times !!). But I do admit there is a LACK OF VERSES, so it’s not really … convincing.

      And that’s just my little one-sided point of view :-)

      Ps: btw, maybe the pic was the second side ??? lol… Kristen Clark Dark side lol.

    • kelechi

      the picture in the start was to buttress her point.God bless

  • Erin

    Do people really not get that the photo included is supposed to show the “sexy” look the author is talking about?

    Wow…

    Good read though! Positive thoughts. The article is meant to show that you have to live a consistent and coherent life. Everything we do should be pleasing to God. That’s our goal. A seductive selfie that could be a stumbling block to someone else is not pleasing to God. I don’t care how you try to spin it.

  • maria

    I think people who judge people based on their photos are worse than people who pose “seductively.”

    • Ruben

      I don’t think she judges, just tries to understand. A (very good)
      psychologist can say tons of info just with a pic (I experienced that
      several times !!).
      More, we are supposed to judge each other in the Church … People want to ignore that, but that’s essential. 1 Co 5.9-13 – 1 Co 6.2,3

    • kelechi

      when did she judge anyone or has telling the truth become a new word for judging?

  • Nell

    This article calls us to consider the images we post in the very public forum of the Internet. I agree that we all need to take care in this matter, but I suggest that all Christians, both male and female, have this issue to consider. Let’s show our working faith in our lives, lives of service and being the light and salt to the world around us. After all, Christ taught us to share our faith by what we do.

  • Marie

    this is real, and real right. thank you for the reminders. it all boils down to the motivation. with a wrong heart, we can have wrong motivations which lead to wrong actions. sometimes we try to cover up our actions with excuses. what seemed right outside, may not be really right inside (heart).. if one of us is doing these, always ask: “Why really am I doing this and to whom am I doing this for?” :)

  • http://saturdayafternoonphotography.com Chelsea Melendez

    Boom! Yes! This is great and dead on! Thank you for writing this Heather! I completely agree that this idea of what constitutes “seductive” is entirely subjective and it has been a weight women have had to shoulder for far too long! Men will lust regardless of what you wear or don’t eat. Sure you should strive for modesty, but if a girl is dressing highly immodest the best thing we as Christians can do is love her unconditionally exactly how she is because the reason she probably is trying to look seductive is to gain love that she isn’t receiving!

  • iBlackHatHacker

    its was nice :)

    but some comment are negative :3 and that’s bad. simply saying that those commentators are just guilt :)

  • Ross Pendragon

    I see where you are coming from on this. I love the ladies, I surely
    do, but I’m a Christian man and I sometimes have to remind myself that
    there’s one word in the Bible that shows up again and again and it isn’t
    love or
    forgiveness…it’s steadfast, steadfast, steadfast! You don’t need to
    give the world a peek at your underwear to be seductive. Please be
    steadfast in your wholesomeness…that’s seductive and what will attract
    Mr. Right to you. Never mind what the other girls are doing. I sure
    wish you lived in my town…! I think you look lovely just as you are
    without all the make-up and the push-up bra, no two ways about it. You
    want my phone number…???

  • Irene

    The people who are stating that Kristen is being judgmental in her blog, seem to be very defensive, which in turn would lead me to believe that you are feeling guilty or convicted by the Holy Spirit. So, if you posted pics of yourself in a sexually enticing pose, would you say that you were led by the Holy Spirit to do so? I think not. By Satan? Most definitely! He wants young girls, whether Christian or not, to be “worldly”. But as a Christian, you are “to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” ~Romans 12:1-2

    The question you have to ask yourself is this: If God was right here, (which He is by the way) would I pose like this for Him? I’m guessing not. But, more importantly, is your foremost goal to be pleasing to the world or to God?

  • Toby

    If you post a nice picture of yourself, it means that you’re “weak and lonely on the inside”? Come on. That’s a bit of a stretch. Just because someone is beautiful doesn’t mean that they’re trying to be seductive and practice sexual immorality.

    God created beauty. Live, without being scared of it.

    • Kate

      Is it possible you missed the point, Toby? There was nothing here about a ‘nice’ picture–it is about appearing seductive. You may want to RE-read the article.

      • Toby

        My point is, the author doesn’t even try to define “seductive.” It’s a completely subjective term. How are we supposed to tell if someone is trying to be “seductive” in a photo or not? It’s not always easy to tell, but it is very easy to misinterpret someone’s motives. I know that we often accuse people of being overly seductive, when really they’re just… beautiful.

        God bless.

        • Erin

          I don’t agree with you. Yes, seductive does not mean the same thing as beauty, but the article is about seductiveness and not beauty.

          • Celtic Princess

            I agree, Erin. I think that generally girls have enough intuition to know when they are doing something to look cute and when their intentions are less innocent… For some girls, they may not realize that they don’t look as innocent as they felt when taking the picture, or they may look more innocent than they intended to, our spirit will usually tell us (not only when taking the picture, but every time we look at the pictures and/or remember how we felt when we took them. Even if we aren’t exactly envisioning a guy looking lustfully at us, the Holy Spirit will convict us of our motives if they are not pleasing to God.

        • gard

          The definition of seduction doesn’t really matter. The only thing that matters is intent. What is your intent when posting something? If you post a picture looking for attention, no matter what it looks like, are you lifting up God or just yourself.

    • Charles Owen

      Toby, I see youre point but,see Kates point——we are not be scared of beauty,but we are to fear the Lord,wich defines our love for Him.

    • CarlV

      Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

      Proverbs 31:30

      • Daniel

        So true, just keep it in context, and you have hit the nail on the head!!

    • Daniel

      What is your definition of nice? Beauty is one thing, but seductive sensuality is another. The seductive poses only draw your eyes to the hips, hair, etc. And not to the eyes, or face generally. The whole point of them is to catch the eyes, and say WOW, that is pretty! Whereas, if it is a normal smile, with God’s joy behind it, it shows true beauty. Read the follow up about the difference between beauty and seductiveness. Thanks! God bless you!!

  • Dee

    Your disclaimer at the bottom of this article should be at the TOP and in super bold print ,as many people in this discussion think you are using it as an example of a “seductive selfie” — which is interesting because it shows that what is NOT seductive to one person may be seductive to another. It is our heart attitude in posing for the picture and in viewing the picture. Where is your heart attitude and where is your mind?? Seeking to please the Father and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit at all times will keep us from falling into many traps. Also READING the whole article would be advised before commenting on it! LOL

    • Erin

      Totally agree with you!

  • Chris

    This is an interesting topic. I am sure that if we were to poll a large amount of pictures we would rapidly discover what society considers beautiful vs. seductive. However, society doesn’t have a say in Gods absolute courtroom. Remember, we play by His rules not ours. I know that according to God’s word, I am to be aware of those people around me and avoid doing things that will tempt them to fall into sin. Gods word says that we will all give an account for our actions, placing the ultimate responsibility on the individual to perform according to God statutes. So, if I were to dress seductively and take pictures of a facial expression that should be reserved solely for my wife, then post the photos for all the world to see, I would be violating God’s word. Why? Because God has given me the responsibility of caring for my fellow man/woman. Let me explain a bit more. If I were to take a picture that would cause my wife become sexually excited, it could reasonably be assumed it would also cause someone else to become sexually excited. God commands us to be thoughtful of our fellow man/woman. For that reason, I should not post that photo for all the world to see. Rather, I should reserve it for my wife or not take it at all. I will be held accountable for both looking at a woman with lust and purposefully causing a woman to lust after me. God will judge the person posting the photo according to his/her motivation and intention. God will judge the person observing the photo according to his reaction. Where the rubber hits the road… I will not post any photos of myself where I purposefully create a sexualized atmosphere AND I will choose not to lust after a seductive or beautiful photo that is not my wife’s.

    • Charles Owen

      Awesome point Chris!!!!—-I concur 100%. Chaz.

  • Rachelle

    So I have kind of a random question. What are your guy’s opinion on Instagram and Snapchat, etc? Thanks!

    • Daniel

      I personally think it is a waste of time for myself, but good things can come from it. You can use it appropriately, but there can be many problems, which is why you need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and you need to obay. We all must do that in every area if we are to succeed in anything. And this viewpoint goes for everything, not just social media. Even reading and things like that. Does this answer your question? May I ask what your point is, and what exactly you were wondering about?

  • Regina

    Key points: the author stated she felt convicted. Conviction comes from the spirit, correction comes from the church body but only from those who have first removed the log from their own eye and with love and consideration, condemnation is of the enemy and he wants nothing more than to cause us to condemn those around us. While we are to adhere to our own convictions, we can never expect our own convictions to be someone else’s convictions. Here’s the reality, if you are stumbling over the actions of someone else, it is because you are hearing the whispers of satan in your ear and instead of taking an honest look at where you are, the one you stumble over takes the blame, when for all anyone knows, they could be the only one God sees as pure and innocent. Other key point: if girls are posting pictures because they are hurt and broken, are we as ‘Christians’ going to add insult to injury and tell them they are not in God’s favor? Or are we going to help them fill the voids with love and acceptance, meanwhile praying over them that they may realize their worth in God’s eyes? Responding to their post telling them they’re beautiful is exactly what we need to do! But we need to go further and affirm that they are beautiful inside and out! That they are smart, funny, and loved! This article describes how we have become accepting of a society that promotes seduction but more over, we should be concerned that we have become participants in a society that is critical. It’s no wonder Christian girls are posing suggestively; they are being raised in homes where there is constant criticism and we as parents are more concerned, not with what is going on with our children, but what other people will think of our children. I became one of those parents. Praise God for convicting me that this was not His will or His way. Those young girls are our babies. If they receive love, affirmation, and approval growing up, they won’t seek it elsewhere when they are older and if they put pictures out that seem worldly, talk to them about it. Search out their hearts. Don’t turn something they intended for silliness become something ugly and perverse. You will cause more harm than good. I understand the cause and the concern for this article however I think we can agree, too much attention is given to appearances when it’s really a heart matter and while one can assume a puckered up face may be an indicator of bad fruit, it just may be that its our perceptions that have become twisted.

    • reginas daughter

      Well said mommy

    • Deb

      Well said Regina!!! ~ Deb

  • MommaTrish

    Reading though some of the negative comments on this great article of someones (Kristen Clark) opinion and view, reminded me of why girls never feel confident in who they are. There will always be another girl or in this case woman who will pick you apart. I think this was a great article and very helpful to some young girls. I will re-post it. Ladies be nice!!!! And sometime the most beautiful thing you can say is, not say nothing at all.

    • Daniel

      I wholeheartedly agree! People are doing right now the very things that they fight agianst!

  • serazeba

    So good!!! Go for it Girl!!!
    It is really a big problem these days. I think it is so hard to swim against that.
    But it is so true. It is wrong! God has so much more for us than just some short cheap confirmation or attention. Those lines really touched me! It is even proved and written down in the bible!!!
    Be blessed!!! May God bless you a lot for the courage to confess and to encourage also others to do it!!

  • Elizabeth

    As a Christian young woman, I would suggest from my own personal experience that Christian girls are “lonely, sad, depressed, insecure and needy” because they are told from the moment they turn 14 that *their* job is to not be a distraction for men. Your clothes must be a certain way, *you* are responsible for the way they think about you and your body. You forced to feel guilty for being a woman and for looking beautiful, and I think girls are just trying to reclaim a sense of worth. Of course they want to pull away from the society that makes them feel like they’re horrible people for wanting to be told they’re pretty. Just spewing a couple of Bible verses doesn’t make up for neglect or lack of mentoring. I think the church needs to stop condemning young girls and instead build them up and teach them to be responsible and make decisions for themselves. There is nothing wrong with being beautiful. Yes, if you’re posing seductively in a bikini with the intent of catching men’s attention, you need to rethink your decisions, but I think the fact is that girls are not encouraged to set limits for themselves, but to shut off a part of themselves that is critical to growing up and becoming a healthy individual.

    • Mia

      I am very impressed by this blog, and your comment. =) It’s very true, I have dealt with it myself. God bless. ~Mia

    • Lynn

      Elizabeth,
      As a minister to teen girls myself, this comment is absolute truth. When we stop pointing the finger at issues and calling out these sweet girls and embracing them, loving the girl underneath all the hurt, refusing to condemn, but rather love, we would see these things change rampantly, as I have in my own ministry. Jesus came to love and embrace, not condemn, your comment is a fabulous reminder of that! Keep it up sweetie!

    • CatoYounger

      The issue here was not being repressed, but being wanton and seductive. Big difference. YOU are responsible for you, not someone else. You will know you’re grown up once you stop blaming other people for you own actions.

    • Daniel

      Yes, that is very true. So many problems are caused by those who are legalist. Although, we can’t just go the other way, and say it doesn’t matter. We must go to Gods Word and find out what is truly right and wrong. We should never ask the question “what’s wrong with it?” But rather “what’s right with it?” We must ask ourselves and God what HE thinks about our actions. Please resort to prayer, and seeking God’s will. May He richly bless you as you as you seek to please Him in all that you do!! 😉

  • CarlV

    thanks for this sister in Christ.. it’s worth reading . . :)

  • Farida

    thanks, gotta start cleaning up my profile. :)

    • Daniel

      Thank you for taking action!!! It is refreshing and motivating to me to see someone who is not only a hearer, but a doer! (James 1:22)

  • Chai Millan

    it’s really an open minder to everyone, specially to the young ones.. thank you soooo much. im soo blessed with your message.. GOD BLESS to everyone..

  • hannah

    Thank you for this blog… :-) an eye-opener…

  • mimie

    I am also guilty of this one… I praise God He has been so patient with me.

  • Terry

    We men and boys are guilty of propagating this, it is pleasing to the carnal eye, it is tuff to ignore. Please forgive us for encouraging this. I’m glad our God is merciful and became a man so He understands our fallen nature. Good blog.

    • Zombie

      Man does not force a woman to be show off their beauty. Women show off their beauty for money and fame. The only thing a guy does is become aroused. It’s a reality check for you. Women take advantage of mans weakness for outward appearances, that’s just the way it is.
      The part that annoys me is how those few individuals speak of these things. Like as if the misogynistic man is all to blame, that disgusting person(s). No, just no. Read a book other than the bible and you might just learn how the human brain works and how we interact with each other. Rather than this old fashioned, radical feminist theory pile of turd you spewed.

      On a side note I personally think that showing your body is not wrong or “sinful”. However, it’s a bit annoying to constantly see it thrown in my face as if I have just one thought. Media also skews our world views and shapes our culture. Often and arguably for the worse.
      One cannot simply remove or censor media, that is both wrong and unrealistic. Awareness, insight and reasoning are out greatest tools, teach others around you and you’d have ridden the world of another zombie. Congrats.

    • http://www.withourlives.com Georgia of WOL

      Hi Terry! Thank you for your apology! It is hard to Christian girls to refuse to ‘go along with the multitude’ when we see other girls being praised by guys for doing what we know is not glorifying to our Lord. So I (and I am sure a lot of other young women!) appreciate it when guys recognise that and strive to also honour the Lord and exhort us to love and good works!

      • TeLin特林

        I’m a guy that recognized that women don’t need a guy to either do something or not do something.

        I’m a guy that recognizes a woman(or a man) can do things on their own.

        Excuses, excuses.

      • daniel

        Yes, I totally agree! We encourage it, but instead we need to be leaders and exhort females to do what is right. Girls may make the choice to do it, but we have made the choice to let it go, just because we like it. Please forgive us. I actually meant for this to be a reply to Terry.

  • Renata Barnes

    I think there are a lot of culprits here and it seems as though the least of these is the flesh and the enemy. We love to dress our girls to look cute and all that from the time they are babies on up…we protect the from influence we deem detrimental while we carefully ply them with Disney images and others that we think are innocuous. We emphasize the outer more than we realize or want to admit. If we are told our little girl is pretty and she hears that she is pretty and she sees the reception and the attention she gets when that adjective is applied to her….who wouldn’t want the goods that comes with being perceived as beautiful. And honestly…who doesn’t want that for their child, acceptance, privilege, ease, reward. They hear how we talk about how people dress and much worse they see all of our unspoken communications about others. Clearly it seems that we not only set girls up to be victims and perpetrators of all kinds of biases but we never take the time to teach boys(and girls) what it really means to objectify someone and how that quickly turns them from and equal to an edible.

    • daniel

      The major thing that we miss when teaching our kids is the real definition of beauty. We tell them “that dress makes you look so beautiful!” When in reality, what gives the most beauty is the Joy of the Lord shining through a clean conscience. Character is what truely makes one beautiful and attractive. That is what we should teach our kids.

  • Prion Indigo

    You need to learn that you can’t necessarily judge everyone’s motives based off what yours were. Maybe it’s true some feel that way. But everyone is different has different motives for doing the same thing. So maybe they didn’t do it for guys. You know we women want to be beautiful for ourselves. Why is sexuality so shameful and the body so wicked we have to pretend it doesn’t exist? Sensuality DOES NOT equate raunchiness.

    • TeLin特林

      “Why is sexuality so shameful and the body so wicked we have to pretend it doesn’t exist?”

      The “Boys so wicked” gave me a laugh.

    • daniel

      The point isn’t what is wrong with it, but rather what is right with it. Even if guys noticing wasn’t the motive, guys will see, and will be tempted by it. Like someone else said, God didn’t give us our bodies to display them on a billboard (or social media) for anyone to see. Read the follow up post on how beauty differs from seductive sensuality. Also, if you are going to state something so “matter of fact”-ly, then you need to tell us where you found that in the Bible, because that is the only source that is always 100% completely accurate!
      Have a great day!

  • christiangoddess

    I’m sorry for my weakness. God told me to rub myself and now I am ashamed. But the parts are just so beautiful and his will feels good. He was focused on me…does that mean I can focus on me too? He told me to let the juices flow. Hopefully I made him happy. Definitely will not be posting any pictures of myself though now. I am too sexual of a being now, I do not want to tempt any boys. I will focus on myself and my own rubbing.

    • godswill

      Personally, I think you need a Jesus spanking. Good to avoid the selfies, you don’t need to give yourself any more attention, imho. Well written blog!!!
      I am getting feelings in my loins about the above post though. The hardening has arisen. Let the juices flow, but only out of my man gun. No women should enjoy such pleasures without sacrifice.

  • Guest

    We are good enough for ourselves, we do not need to answer to anyone! Women should have the choice to look however they want if it makes them feel good.

    • Lauren

      Thank you!

    • Daniel

      And that verse is found where in the Bible?

      • CT

        Right on! Nowhere!

  • TeLin特林

    “I had these issues…therefore others had exactly the same!”

    I thought we as humans evolve past this in our teens?

    Guess that wouldn’t be true from watching the news/politics….

  • AgapeRose

    The point some of you aren’t getting is that your sensuality and sexuality were never meant by God to be billboards out there for the world to see. So if you’re a truly Bible following Christian woman or girl you should want to please your heavenly father by not showing off in sensual or sexual pictures on-line. God meant for sensuality and sexuality to be protected and something shared between husband and wife. So ask yourselves if you were or are married if God was on your page and saw these pictures would he smile or be saddened by them. And also, if your hopefully Bible following husband saw them what would his reaction be??
    Be blessed and Stay Salty!! 😉

  • Lauren

    “As Christian girls, God calls us to a much higher standard” or “It makes sense that the supermodels and non-Christian girls don’t have a problem posting selfies like this” … Forgive me if I’m wrong but your blog post is rather judgmental to those that are not “believers” indirectly stating that if you’re not Christian it’s to be expected that you would have no self-respect.
    I’m not religious on any level and neither do I need religion to teach me to have self-respect and be a decent human being. I’m so sick of hearing ignorant people, such as yourself, making judgmental statements as if YOU are held on a higher pedestal to everyone else because of your faith.
    Ironically, majority of the girls that lack self respect and seduce men to get what they want are the same attention-seeking girls preaching about their holy virginity and singing in the choir on Sundays – I wonder why they seek all this attention, and lack the self respect?
    You shouldn’t label or judge people for lacking integrity and self respect based solely on someone’s faith – your faith doesn’t define you, YOUR actions and YOUR decisions do.
    And honestly, to tell you the truth, in most recent years (coming from a 7th Day Adventest School) I’ve witnessed countless of girls becoming victimized by their own faith and more and more its becoming apparent that society is not the culprit but their own faith is. By constantly judging someone for their actions, and comparing whose the better Christian or whose more innocent than the other, is where the problems begin to originate – why must it always be a competition? Why can’t we all just be who we are and accept each other as we are.. times are changing, get on with it.

    • https://www.facebook.com/JacqulineOntiveros Jacquline Ontiveros

      You are judging too. You think the majority of seductive women are Christians. It’s not a fact. You may not be religious and still be decent, but there are atheists out there who aren’t decent at all. People that are honestly trying to have a great relationship with God will become more and more decent. It’s happening to me, and I’ve seen it happen to others. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but it sounds like you have a bitterness towards Christians. That’s your problem. Yes, times are changing. The thing is that just because something is popular and legal doesn’t make it right. Besides, the more skin you show in the summer the more mosquito bites and sunburns you’re likely to get. Goodness, I couldn’t imagine walking around half-naked in the winter. n_n

  • yanoret genao

    Iam total agree. I had seen this action in married womans too! May God help us to modeling modesty to young girls

  • Ann Garcia

    such truth :)

  • fred

    I guess I need to reconsider my definition of “seductive.” Eyebrow raised? Windblown hair? Serious eyes? Hand on a hip? I’m a male, and I don’t see how any of these things is considered “seductive.” Maybe I go to the ‘wrong’ malls, too. I don’t see “poster after poster featuring models striking a sexual pose” where I shop. (How do you define a ‘sexual’ pose, anyway?) The mall images that I consider most provocative are at Victoria’s Secret, and that has more to do with what the models are (or aren’t) wearing than with how the models are posed. Maybe I’m overly naïve, but I don’t see anything wrong with a young woman wanting to feel beautiful. Feeling beautiful is more internal than external (and that cannot be stressed enough) but wanting to be physically attractive does not by default make a young woman “seductive” or “sexual.” I’m afraid the premise of this article implies that physical beauty is by itself seductive and therefore inappropriate.

    • anew

      What I understand from this is not against being/feeling beautiful but it’s how we women use our beauty; to pull the focus on us. I believe I understand what the writer is saying, and it has nothing to do with inner beauty, or even outward beauty in itself. But instead it has all to do with how women offer themselves to total strangers, or friends. And I don’t know in which country you live in but in countries I’ve traveled in and live in, there has been a lot of posters (and also in magazines etc.) where I think women have posed seductively. Without me even being over-reactive to the matter.

  • Emmersto

    Why is the blame always put on the girl? “Don’t wear this!” or “That makes them think things”……it’s legalistic in a faith and a relationship with God that is meant to be focused on freedom in Christ and love and caring for others….. Good grief! There are far more pressing issues in this world than simply focusing on how females are a step away from being seductive prostitutes.

    • Guest

      The blame is only put on the girl for what she wears. The blame for the rest comes from the author of it. The freedom we have in Christ was only given to us so we could honor Him with everything that we do. Why is America falling apart? I think one reason is that the families are falling apart. Why are. The families falling apart? One of the biggest reasons is the marriage. Why marriage problems? Because of the spouse giving ground to satan, and trying to hide it it from the other. Often those that defend a cause support and indulge in it. Do you? If you don’t see a problem with it, you may need to reexamine your heart before the Lord, and ask Him to reveal hidden areas in your life…just like we all need to do daily. 😉

    • daniel

      The blame is only put on the girl for what she wears. The blame for the rest comes from the author of it. The freedom we have in Christ was only given to us so we could honor Him with everything that we do. Why is America falling apart? I think one reason is that the families are falling apart. Why are. The families falling apart? One of the biggest reasons is the marriage. Why marriage problems? Because of the spouse giving ground to satan, and trying to hide it it from the other. Often those that defend a cause support and indulge in it. Do you? If you don’t see a problem with it, you may need to reexamine your heart before the Lord, and ask Him to reveal hidden areas in your life…just like we all need to do daily. 😉

      • Emmersto

        So if a Christian guy lusts after a girl, it is most likely her to blame because she was wearing something that provoked those thoughts in him…?

        • Brittany

          He is responsible for his thoughts and actions and she is responsible for hers.

    • Brittany

      1 Cor. 6:12-13 says, “‘Everything is permissible for me’-but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’-but I will not be mastered by anything. ‘Food for the stomach and the stomach for food’-but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” While we do have freedom in Christ, we are also know by our fruit. It’s not a matter of salvation but of our relationship with the Lord. If we have truly accepted Christ, we have the Holy Spirit and our desires change. We desire to honor God in what we do. Granted, we often fail, but we feel convicted when we do. Our desire is to become more like Him and glorify Him. Col. 3:1-17 also makes a good point about this issue. As a woman seeking to build up those around me, I understand that, if I’m around godly men who are trying to have pure minds, my wearing something seductive is not being loving towards my brother in Christ. While I’m not responsible for his thoughts or actions, I am also not making it easy on him. I would consider that being a stumbling block for him. I don’t think this article is about blaming girls but about both guys and girls reflecting Christ accurately. Somehow, I can’t see Jesus posting a seductive selfie. And I don’t think any sin is too little for the Lord to care about. He created us in his image and care for the smallest details of our lives so I think this issue matters to Him as well.

    • TutorJuls Lee

      Because in this case, it is usually girls who post these selfies, not guys.

      • Emmersto

        Who cares? I am fairly certain Jesus was more concerned about other things that the photos that individuals post on the Internet. I think Jesus is far more concerned about the hate and murderous thoughts that Christians often extend to the LGTBQ community that whether or not a girl posts a “seductive” selfie

  • Redeemed

    I think it wouldn’t hurt to give “the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit” a try in this comment section. =)

    • daniel

      Mmm… I think I agree, but I am not sure what you mean.

      • Redeemed

        What I meant is that most of these comments are not exactly what you would call “quiet and gentle”…then again, I could apply that to the whole “modern woman” attitude.
        And before anyone takes offense, I am a woman saying this.

  • gard

    Too many are focusing on the definition of one word or another. The only thing that matters is intent. What is your intent when posting something? If you post a picture looking for attention, no matter what it looks like, are you lifting up God or just yourself.

  • katherine

    great book published by Tan: Dressing with Dignity, Colleen Hammond HIGHLY RECOMMEND

  • No one

    You’re pretty…. Happy now?

  • TheUsualSmearGame

    I totally agree. I have been guilty of it and I know Christian friends who do it a little too much. They can’t even take a picture of their kids without a seductive lip pucker head poked into the shot. They think they are acting silly, but deep down they want to be recognized and it is not a good thing. Especially if married. Especially if in a youth position at church where young girls will look up to you and see this as normal. It also causes lust in the leadership if they are friends with you on Facebook. Then we get “inappropriate hugs” while the person is constantly posting strapless pictures with seductive looks and then wonders why it is happening. No it is no excuse for a man. It is also not wise to leave the keys in the car and wonder why a thief stole it……common sense.

  • Been Benuane

    LOL why are Christian women generally at least as promiscuous as (probably more than) non-Christian women?

  • http://www.blogofjoy.com/ Joy

    Thank you for sharing so honestly….this is a very good article!


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