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When God Doesn’t Give You What You Desperately Want

By: Kristen Clark

Three and half years ago I stood at the altar of a beautiful church with a handsome groom across from me beaming from ear to ear. I was getting married (read more on that here) and everything in my life seemed absolutely perfect.

I had a loving, wonderful, supportive family and was marrying into an equally awesome family. My soon-to-be husband had a great job with no fear or concern for financial struggles. I was experiencing top notch health and didn’t have a single ache or pain to be burdened by.

My relationship with God was really good and I had an exciting future ahead of me.

I actually remember thinking to myself that I must be living a fairytale life. “My life is perfect” I thought to myself after the wedding. I don’t have a single worry, fear, want, or burden. I loved everything about my life and actually felt guilty for having it “so good.”

Up to that point God had given me everything – I mean everything – I could have possibly needed or wanted.

After the wedding Zack and I were excited about having kids right away. I always dreamed of being a young “cool” mom with a houseful of adorable blondies running around. Zack and I didn’t do anything to prevent a pregnancy so I assumed things would happen right away.

One month went by, then two, then four, then ten, then we hit our one year anniversary.

Nothing.

“Hmmmmm” I thought to myself. “Why am I not getting pregnant? I thought this was automatic for people who didn’t purposely ‘prevent’ pregnancy?”

Six more months went by and I still wasn’t pregnant. By this time I was getting anxious and concerned about why I wasn’t conceiving. Up to this point I hadn’t really been praying for a baby because I just assumed it would happen anytime. I added this new “desire” to my prayer list.

I felt confused because the Bible calls children a “blessing” and a “heritage from the Lord” and I wondered why God wasn’t giving it to me.

Shortly after we hit our two year anniversary, I noticed something different in my body.

I took and pregnancy test and to my surprise it was positive! Zack and I celebrated and excitedly shares the news with our families. Everyone was overjoyed and my life seemed completely perfect again.

Then the most terrible, unexpected thing happened.

I lost the baby.

I was shocked and devastated. We grieved for several weeks and months as my body and soul slowly recovered from the trauma.

Then, exactly six months later I got pregnant again! It felt like God had given me another baby to fill the void that the first one left. I was overjoyed and praised God for His blessing! My life finally felt normal and perfect again.

I never would have imaged what happened next.

I lost the second baby.

Having one miscarriage was hard enough and the second one seemed like a cruel joke.

Thankfully (to make a long story short) by God’s grace and the prayers of many people, I was finally able to recover from my second loss.

Now here I am today.

Three and a half years into marriage and still no sign of children.

I have asked God “why” so many times. I’ve cried and wondered why God would allow the rebellious teenage girl to have a baby and not me. I questioned whether or not I had an outstanding sin in my life. I’ve prayed fervently and sincerely and wondered why God wasn’t answering my prayers.

I’ve struggled and wondered why God wasn’t giving me what I so desperately wanted – especially because HE calls it a good thing!

Have you ever had questions and struggles like mine?

Can you relate to wanting something SO bad and wondering why God wasn’t giving it to you?

Before my miscarriages I never knew what it was like to want something so bad and not get it. I didn’t know how to relate to people in those type of circumstances.

Now I do. It’s hard…really hard.

God has taught me so much over the past few years and my spiritual growth and maturity got put on the fast track. I’m developing a love-hate relationship with the “refiners fire.”

More than anything else though, God has been challenging me with one verse over and over again. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Really God? In all circumstances?

Back then, when my life seemed perfect and easy, that verse was a breeze to apply. Now it feels more like a giant mountain I have to overcome (on a daily basis).

Giving thanks is easy when we have what we want…but what about when God doesn’t give us the desires of our heart?

For me, the longing of my heart is to have baby, but for you it’s probably something different. It could be something like, “God I so desperately want…

  • to get married.
  • deep, real friendships.
  • parents who love one another.
  • parents who aren’t divorced.
  • to live in a city with more Christian families.
  • a better job.
  • to feel deeply loved by someone.
  • to have nicer siblings.
  • *fill in the blank*

All of those things above are actually good things to desire. But just because your “want” is a good thing doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.

Through my personal journey, God has taught me this key truth: God may not give you what you want, but He will always give you what you need.

Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

God never promises to give us everything we want, but He does promise to always give us what we need.

And if there’s one thing I have learned by now it’s what God says in Isaiah 55:8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.”

God knows what’s best for us far better than we do. He even withholds “good” things from us because He sees the bigger picture. He knows what’s coming down the road in our lives. He knows how to help us grow. He knows what experiences we need so we can help others in a deeper way.

And if you don’t feel like God is answering your prayers, I have learned that He ALWAYS answers our prayers. He answers them one of three ways:

1. He will say “Yes!” and give you what you prayed for.
2. He will say “No” and close the door in that area.
3. He will say “Wait” and ask you to patiently wait for an answer down the road.

I think the hardest answer to get is the “wait” answer because it requires a lot of patience and trust in God.

It requires us to surrender our desires to God and place them at His feet.

Yes, we should continue to pray (assuming your desire is a good thing), but we should hold it loosely with an open, grateful hand.

My desire to want children hasn’t gone away, but my heart is not anxious and worried like it used to be. I have come to truly believe and trust God’s Word when He says, “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

God’s ways are not my ways or your ways – they’re better!

Once I learned to fully trust God with my future and believe that His plan truly is better, all of my fears melted away. Instead of constantly questioning God and fretting about what I didn’t have, I began seeing my life with new eyes. I wrote down a gratitude list and began thanking God for ALL of the many blessings He had already given me.

Let me tell you though – the journey isn’t over. I have peace in my heart, but I have to surrender my desires to God every single day. I have to make the choice to trust Him every single day.

And you will too.

We serve an awesome God who loves His children and will always do what is best for them.

He wants to hear about our hearts’ longings and desires, so pour your heart out to Him. Just remember that whatever it is you so desperately want in life may or may not be given to you. God is still a good God though.

No matter the outcome in your life, I sincerely pray you will learn to trust God, take joy in His plan, express gratitude for your blessings, and serve Him with your whole heart wherever He has you right now.

If you can’t be content with what God has given you today, you won’t be content with what He will give you tomorrow.

I would love to continue this conversation in the comment section below.

What do you so desperately want that God has not given to you? How are you dealing with your unfulfilled desires? How have you grown during your struggles? Did this blog post encourage and challenge you? If so, how?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Photo Credit: www.flickr.com | The Barrow Boy

Grateful Hands

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  • Hannah McIntosh

    Thank you, Kristen. So sorry to hear of your losses – I cannot imagine the grief and pain that would cause – but I’m SO thankful that you shared it with us. It challenged me…how willing am I to trust God completely? I have wondered if God would choose not to give me children, at least for a while, once I am married (if the Lord wills marriage, anyway), because that is an area I would have a tremendously hard time surrendering to Him! But I’m praying that I will be able to trust Him with that and with all my other desires. Thank you so much for the challenge and encouragement!

    • Hey Hannah, thanks for sharing your thoughts and how God is challenging you! Keep seeking Him.
      -Kristen

  • Hannah

    Amen! Thank you so much, Kristen! May the Lord bless you with the desires of your heart. I always remember Hannah’s prayer in 1 Samuel, her trust and thanksgiving to the Lord, and it’s such an encouragement. Though we’ve never met and I only know you through this blog, we are running in the same race for the same prize, and I will be keeping you in my prayers. Blessings, Hannah

    • Thank you Hannah! You are so sweet and encouraging. The passage from 1 Samuel comes to mind a lot for me. It’s so cool how the Bible is always relevant for our lives…but some passages hit even closer to home during certain seasons of life. Thanks for your prayers!

  • Elizabeth Williams

    Wow, I didn’t know you had gone through all this. Just goes to show that you never know what another person may be going through! I have definitely had things that I wanted so badly before, but God didn’t give them to me. Right now I have a chronic illness and have prayed so hard for God to heal me, but He hasn’t and I’ve been sick for a long time, missed out on a lot. He has spoken to me and told me that He will heal me, just in His timing. Waiting is so hard! This post was very encouraging and I thank you for sharing your struggles with all of us readers. I also love how you and Bethany always want to hear from your readers and even take the time to respond to some of them! So many bloggers I read behind just put up a new post and are not interested in actually communicating with their readers. Thanks!

    • Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear about your chronic illness. That sounds like a very hard trial to endure. I am excited to hear that God is working in your life and challenging you to trust Him during this season of pain. After reading your comment, a video came to mind that I think will greatly encourage you. It’s from the “True Woman ’14” Conference and is a talk by Joni Earickson Tada. She is confined to a wheelchair and shares her personal testimony. It’s amazing!

      Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXhyyQ14Ens

      Let me know what you think of it! Blessings, Kristen

      • Elizabeth Williams

        Thanks so much for the reply and for thinking about me with the video! I can’t watch it because of it being so long since we have limited internet usage and can only do so many videos and stuff(I have to share with my family too lol) but I am really loving all of the True Woman stuff and would love to go to one of the conferences one day. I am asking for some Nancy Leigh DeMoss books for Christmas. I may be able to watch the video eventually, we’ll see!

        • alice

          God has broken my heart for almost 20 years now by saying NO to healing me every day (I have a debilitating illness). God’s grace is a promise that holds for everyone but me.

          • Elizabeth Williams

            That is so sad that you are having to deal with an illness like that! However, let me say that God’s grace IS a promise for you, even if He never heals you. Him not healing you does NOT mean that He has forgotten you. That’s exactly what Satan would love for you to think. Sounds as if you are under spiritual attack. I will pray for you right now. And remember, even if God never heals you, He will ALWAYS be enough.

          • alice

            enough for what? I honestly don’t know what you mean.

          • Elizabeth Williams

            He will be enough to sustain you, to help you get through. Why don’t you e-mail me? My e-mail is bug6692@aol.com. I want to talk to you more about this because I really want you to understand what I’m saying and would like to continue this conversation!

  • Allie

    Thank you, I really needed to remember this!
    I’m sorry about your babies, I really think that God moves us closer to Him during times of trial!
    I have a question; I know the guy I’d love to marry with. He is the godliest guy I’ve ever known, and I love everything about him. We are good friends; but he is several years younger than me, and he is waiting for the right time to getting married witha a girl who is not me…
    I feel so unfaithful to God and to my future husband. Because I don’t know who he is and I have a crush with this other guy, and how can I pray for a future husband whern this guy is in my mind? And I don’t really like that girl so I feel so frustarted when she is near… I don’t know what to do…

    • Jesusfreak17

      I read a book called, “Praying for Your Future Husband” by Robin Gunn and it was really helpful for me. It really made me realize that God has a future for me, and that everyone does have a future husband. In some cases though, you won’t get married until your part of the bride of Christ marrying Jesus.
      With your crush I would just talk to God about it. Trust Him that it will work out the way He plans it. It’s hard but eventually, you’ll be thankful you waited for Him to work out your love life.

    • Hi Allie. Its sounds like you’re going through a hard time. Surrendering our love life to God can be one of the hardest things to do because we always want to have control over it. It sounds like you’re struggling to completely surrender this guy to God.

      I encourage you to read a blog post Bethany wrote about her own struggle in this area. It’s called “Letting Go of the Guy” and can be found here: http://www.girldefined.com/letting-guy

  • Graciela Acosta

    I’ve been dealing with this a lot this year. For me, it was something else that I really wanted and, quite honestly, I felt I deserved it. But, I’ve been trying to see this all from God’s perspective. I know he’s working, but sometimes it’s hard to see it.

  • Jacey Faith

    My family has gone through a miscarriage recently and can relate. Thanks for the article

  • A.A.

    I am really glad you posted this. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I know how hard it is to go through something that doesn’t seem fair or right. This is very personal, but I guess I’ll just say what I so desperately want since yours helped me. I want my dad to love me. My dad is addicted to drugs and that’s what his life is based around. It’s really hard being a Christian in an ungodly home. But I know God has a reason this is happening to me. Sometimes I get mad because I see so many people with loving homes and Christian parents. But then I find so much to be thankful for. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m going to pray for you now. It’s amazing to me that you can overcome you’re situation. It gives me hope that I can overcome mine.

    • Thank you for the encouragement A. A.! I am truly sorry about your dad. That must be a very hard thing to handle. Even if your dad never shows you the love you so desperately want, you have a Heavenly Father who loves you more than any earthly father ever could. In Psalm 68:5 is says, “God in His holy dwelling is a father of the fatherless…” God will be there for you in ways that your earthly father isn’t.

      I encourage you to read one of our older blog posts called “How To Love Your Dad When He Doesn’t Deserve It.” I think it will be very helpful to you. You can read this post here: http://www.girldefined.com/love-dad-deserve

      I hope that encourages you! Keep praying for your dad and never give up on Him! God can redeem anybody!

      • A Lee

        Praying for my Dad too! =)

  • Thanks so much for this Kristen! My soul has needed to repetitively hear this. This was just so encouraging to read today..I have felt like perhaps God never let’s a dream come true. Perhaps He lets it and perhaps He doesn’t. But I just realized- I get depressed when He doesn’t let what I want to happen, happen; and I forget to see the good gift He has given me for now. It’s actually better than what I want, but to realize that I have to have a heart of thankfulness. He knows what I need, and He has given me life so that I can live it and have it more abundantly.

    • Victoria – Thank you for sharing what God is teaching you! Keep focusing on truth and showing gratitude to God. You’re on the right track.

  • Jesusfreak17

    What I have wanted most for a few years now is for one of my friends, he’s a Mormon, to see the truth, to see Christ for who he truly is. It’s so hard because I don’t really get to interact with him anymore and I know that it is unlikely I will see him come to Christ whether it happens or not.

    • It’s always so hard to have friends who don’t know Jesus. The most powerful thing you can do is to pray for your friend. Maybe that is the very reason why God allowed your paths to cross! Prayer is powerful and can change lives, so never give up.

  • CT

    Thank you for writing. Recently my mom gave me quite a bit of money to go shopping, and I decided I wanted to raise my modesty standards. So I went to one store where I normally shop, but found very few clothes that fit within my criteria and were of a reasonable price. And none of them fit me some more! I left the store very frustrated and disappointed, and I had the opportunity to go to the thrift store the next day but I declined because I was so depressed and wondered, if only God can make me happy, new clothes won’t make me happy, so it’s not worth it to shop, even if I do need new clothes. But today I realized that I need to let God direct me and that He will provide what He knows I need in His timing.

  • Melanie

    This is exactly what I needed today! God has me in the season of singleness. Its difficult because I often wonder who my ‘future husband’ is, and I pray for him every day…but right now, I am being still, and trusting that in Gods time He will reveal that promise to me someday.

  • Juliana Vittorelli Lima

    Hi Khristen! I am so sorry for your losses. I have gone through almost the exact same thing, except I have lost 3 babies. Thank God I have come to the same conclusion as you and am comforted by the same verses you posted here. I have been healthy and an athlete all my life, I never thought I had a problem, until a little test proved me wrong. I am sure you are being guided by a doctor, but I’d love to enlighten you with a possibility of why you are miscarrying. So many doctors don’t know how to treat it and I after much prayer God has guided me to a wonderful doctor. I am waiting on it just as you, but I am not in the dark anymore, I know what is going on inside my body and I am addressing it. Please write me at limajv@ymail.com I would love to talk to you about it. If you’d rather not, that’s okay, I’d understand! I also recommend reading “Supernatural Childbirth” By Jackie Mize. A M A Z I N G BOOK!

    Be blessed and I prophecy a baby in your life in 2015 in Jesus might and strong name! Amen! 😉

  • Bethany F.

    thank you SO much, this is exactly what I needed today!!! I play cello, and until recently, had a wonderful wonderful teacher, but then we had to go our separate ways, and I’ve been looking for a new teacher, but God keeps closing doors!! This has been a huge trust thing for me, because I know that God calls us to develop our talents so that we can use them to praise Him, so it’s been kind of difficult to understand why He seems to be preventing that from happening… But I know God’s timing isn’t ours, so again, thank you so much for the encouragement!!!

    • Janet Alero

      i play the cello too!! i will pray for you! 🙂

  • AnnM

    I’m so glad you shared this Kristen! Encouraged, thank you!

    “God knows what’s best for us far better than we do. He even withholds “good” things from us because He sees the bigger picture. He knows what’s coming down the road in our lives. He knows how to help us grow. He knows what experiences we need so we can help others in a deeper way.”

    As 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 says of our sufferings, they are always about others, helping them and glorifying God: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God…”

    Be encouraged!

    • AnnM

      ^-^ “…Now if we are afflicted,it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
      And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation…” (2 Cor.1:3-7 🙂

  • Quite Distinguished

    Kristen, my heart aches for you, and I pray God continues to satisfy you with more and more of Himself.

    I have experienced a sliver of that deep aching grief that causes one to question God’s idea of “good,” and have found music to bring much comfort–when it causes me to meditate on Him. Several songs came to mind while reading your post:

    – “Prayer Answered by Crosses” by John Newton (Poem turned hymn)

    – “Yet I Will Praise” by Vinyard. It’s a reminder to praise Him in the dark times of the soul…even when I struggle to trust He’s even there.

    – “Even in the Valley” by the Whisnants

    Praise God for His work in your life to fashion in you a humble heart of submission to His desires.

  • Ruby

    This Article helped so much…I’m in public school surrounded by worldly people and no Christian friends. I’ve been praying for Christian friends a ton and never understood why they weren’t coming to me. But this article really helped me understand

    • Rain

      I remember one time I ended up crying in my closet because once I was in a situation just like yours. It took a while to happen but once it did I understood that certain things needed to happen. I ended up going to a completely different church in order to receive these friends. Everyday I feel blessed to have them in your life; please continue praying about it. One sentence changed my life forever and certainly if you pray God will give you way more than you could have ever imagined. Trust me…

  • Emily

    Thank you for this. I have been married going on 3 years and have longed for a child. Desired so bad for one that when my sister in law got pregnant I was furious with her with God. I am waiting for God to say “yes” to my prayer. Until that time I will wait thanking God for the “no” that he has given me.

  • Erin

    Thank you so much for writing this. I just typed “having a hard time surrendering to God my desire for a baby” into Google and this is what came up. Its amazing how encouraging it can be to connect with other believers struggling with the same thing Your story is super inspiring. My husband and I haven’t been trying for a baby very long but I’m in my late twenties and find myself so discouraged every month I don’t conceive. satan has attacked me with all sorts of lies about why including the somewhat promiscuous past I led before I came to Christ. I have done my best to refuse the lies but waiting and trusting that even if God never gives me a baby I will be satisfied is hard. Also realizing that I am forgiven in Christ and God is in no way vindictive/punishing me by not giving me what I want is a truth I have to constantly remember. I am holding onto the fact that God’s timing and decisions are ALWAYS for my benefit, they are ALWAYS an extension of His love and grace. Another thing God has been speaking to me the last couple of days is that surrendering does not mean pretending you don’t want it. I have tried to deal with this feeling by fooling myself and others into thinking I am completely content and happy to enjoy my life without children. I have repented of making children and being a mother an idol in my life (something I needed to be content) but somehow I was tricked into believing it was unGodly to grieve the loss of that idol. Letting go of anything is usually painful and involves some grief. I came to this realization after I started having uncontrollable meltdowns over it the last couple of days. I’m sad and I never gave myself an opportunity to feel the sadness as I tried to lay it at the cross. And so the question remains, did I ever truly lay it down at all? Not letting go of the pain just leads me to more anger, resentment, and unnecessary blame. So my experience is that it is Godly and necessary to grieve in order to truly let go of a dream at the cross. Plus, our big amazing heavenly Father can take whatever we throw at him, the more honest the better. Our husbands/family/coworkers/friends however, may not be able to handle the depth of our hurt and may end up getting caught in the crossfire. Thanks again for sharing so bravely. I love when the bride of Christ is transparent with one another.

    • Hey Erin, Thank you so much for your openness and transparency. It is SO encouraging to hear from other sisters-in-Christ that I’ve never met. It sounds like God has been doing quite a work in your heart as He has mine. Surrendering our desires and dreams to God’s timing is probably one of the hardest things to do. Especially when we desire “good” and wonderful things – like babies. I know God has a reason a plan for allowing you and me to go through this trial. I pray we both stay strong in our trust in God and continue to serve Him during this season. Thank you again for sharing! Your comment was very encouraging to me! -Kristen

  • Phoebe Saywell

    I’m reading through all the posts that I didn’t get to read. This one brought me to tears, I know people who have had miscarriages and I’ve seen how they break down in grief, I know it may be hard or personal, but how can I comfort those women and couples?

  • blessed

    Thank you sooo much for sharing this article. I have had this discussion with so many girls about so many different desires they have. Waiting is definitely the hardest answer. I feel your pain about not having a baby. My husband and I were like you and your husband, other Christian friends even made jokes that we weren’t being fruitful and multiplying like we should be. I learned from that ‘joke’ never to joke about it with anyone else, ever. I smiled politely at the time but burst into tears in the car on the way home, the instant pain I felt from that joke was physically like an arrow through my heart. God is very good and later blessed us wee three fantastic healthy kids. We thank God for each of them every day, but I can relate to the discontentment mentioned in your article too. Unless you accept the circumstances God has placed you in now, you’re not going to be content with the new improved circumstances either. 1Timothy 6:6 Godliness with contentment is great gain. I have learned the truth of this verse through different circumstances in my life and I genuinely hope that your readers learn it too if they haven’t already. I will be praying for your desires and the great work that you are doing through this blog. Thank you so much again xo

  • Cassandra Voss

    Thank you for sharing your heart. The joy & trust you have in the LORD is an amazing example to me & so many around you. Complete surrender is a hard thing; so many times I want to pick my heart’s desire back up & try to carry it on my own, knowing full well that it’s pointless to do so. Trying to soothe that deep ache in our heart is a painful process at times. Thank you for the reminder to apply the promises of Christ. I know so many of the verses on comfort, peace & trust, but until I actually put those verses into practice I am still acting on my own strength. Praying for you & Zach 🙂

  • Zoe Green

    Am blessed by your story!! God bless:)

  • Courtney

    Thank you! I needed this. Very encouraging. ♥

  • TL

    Thanks for sharing 🙂 I was going down through my Facebook news feed when the title of this post popped out to me. I’ve been there, and just like you am still learning & making the decision to trust God every day. I am a young Pastor, 24 years old! A dream of mine is to have a family one day. (Here is my story, long story short, of course 🙂 ) 4 years ago while in Bible College I fell for a guy, we got engaged, was planning for a wedding- when I realized I hadn’t asked the Lord if it was His Will i marry this guy ( I was so caught up in wanting to be married). After much prayer, fasting, asking God to guide me- the Lord made it clear that this was not the man for me. So, I ended it. for the next couple years I focused on God- I devoted myself completely to the call & to my ministry, and was so satisfied and content with where I was. During this time I began to ask the Lord that He would not bring anyone into my life unless it was THE ONE! The one He had planned for me. I had many guys ask me out on dates over the course of a couple years, and they were really great, godly guys! But.. whenever a guy came my way- I prayed, I asked God if it was a “yes” or “no” each time i felt it was a no. My relationship with the Lord was so strong and intimate during this time, and all i wanted, ( and still) is only His will, not mine. I prayed over and over for the Lord not to bring anyone into my life unless it was of Him. At one point i got so frustrated that guys kept asking me out ( i felt it could become a distraction) that one night while talking with the Lord I said, ” God I do not want any distractions in my life- no distraction that will get in the way of Your plan for my life, No Man, No distraction” A couple days later a woman of God from my church walked up to me and said the Lord had a message for me, she began to tell me what the Lord had to say, it was such an awesome and timely Word, but one sentence stood out and is still with me.. she said ” God says that HE will not let anything get in the way of His plan for your life, No Man, No distraction! Nothing will get in the way of these plans because they are HIS plans!” My EXACT words i had prayed just a couple nights before! I knew this was God simply reassuring me and just letting me know He was listening! A short while after this, a guy re surfaced back into my life, this guy was someone who a couple years earlier I felt such a strong connection to and began to pray for Him- but again left it with God. But now, this guy was coming to me asking to pursue me- I prayed, prayed hard, i felt it was a “yes”, I would even pray for certain things to happen so that I would know yes, it was of God- and all of these things happened! I was sure it was finally coming together. This was God! This was my husband! After a few months of pursuing, he ended it- out of no where, with no explanation, just feeling I wasn’t the one for him. I was heart broken and confused. after months of asking God why & how.. and still to this day not understanding.. like you, I’ve recited Isaiah 55 over and over again to myself. Ive come to realize that the thing is, I really don’t need to understand! I just need to trust God. His ways, His thoughts, are so much higher than mine. God is good, He does only good. One thing i’ve struggled with is that during the time this guy came into my life I was SO focused on God- I was SO content, and was only seeking God, I prayed and prayed and prayed about him- and felt a yes from God. so.. Why? Again, I’ve come to realize that at the end of the day I really don’t need to understand, God is still in control & He is still good. Also, His plans are firm, like the Word of God says! and although I have sometimes wondered if this situation was a distraction, I’m reminded of His own words to me, that He would not let anything, anything, get in the way of His plans for me. Ive made the decision to again, just focus on Him- keep my eyes on Him- like scripture sayd, Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God & His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you! if its His will, one day I will have that family I desire, but only if it’s His Will and plan for my life!

    Love what you girls are doing! God Bless

  • Carolina

    Through this testimony, I realized that I wasn’t giving thanks to Lord in the area of my relationship. I want to get married, and while I’m single, I’m serving the Lord and at the church, always waiting. But now I know that I need give thanks. And as you said, decide trust every day! Thank you!!

  • Alessia Flores

    I´m really scared, I want to get married I really do, What if it isn´t God´s plan for me? or if its not with the guy I want to marry? I make the decision every day to trust God´s will and it´s very hard. Thank you for letting me know I´m not the only one!

  • Ally Emmanuel

    With regards to children, It is Gods plan for you all to have as many children as you desire, He is not withholding for us, He loves us. This is something I never knew before and thought God was making me wait. Please please youtube Nerida Walker – she unveils the truth about God’s plan for pregnancy. She has changed my life after battling secondary infertility learning about the Finished Work of the Cross and God’s desires for your family. I know now the truth our saviour He is NOT withholding for us. I encourage anyone reading this post struggling with infertility to look her teachings up on the net, it brought me peace 🙂

  • Rachel

    The end of the post was hard to read, because my eyes were filled with tears– they still are. Over the past year I have wanted so many (good!) things. And I have gotten 2 of them. Two out of no less than 9. Nine good things. And you know what? At one point I gave up. I was in chapel (ironic, no?) and I looked up and I thought quietly “I believe You exist, God, but You don’t love me. You don’t keep Your promises.” By the grace of God, I was brought back.
    It was hard. And without those things, sometimes I feel empty. Like I have nothing to do. But my friend reminded me that I should praise God, not because of what He gives me, but because He is God. And God is enough.
    Do you know what I’m going to do for extracirriculars next year? I don’t. All the things I tried out for -the school newspaper, the school yearbook, class officer– have been filled with other people. But now, instead of doubting God’s goodness, I trust and praise Him because He is God.

  • TheHonestBestTrueAnswer

    Well what would God say to us good single men out there that really wanted to find a good woman to marry to have a family with? And since so many women nowadays that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, is the real reason as to why many of us men are still single now which it is No fault of ours to begin with. Times have certainly Changed today, and so have the women of today compared to the women of years ago which were a lot nicer and much Easier to meet. To see so many others that were very Blessed by God with a family really hurts me very much since i really thought that i was going to have that as well, and most women out there now are always looking for the Rich Man instead which really does make it much harder for us. Another very good reason why many of our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles had very long lasting good marriages back then since it was so much Easier for them finding love in those days which many of our family members are still together today as i speak.

    • Loner

      Or maybe it is just you who wants to be loved above everything but you don’t give the same thing in return…What do you mean by high maintenance, for example? Jacob served seven years for Rachel. Would you do the same for somebody?

      • ReallyTrue

        He is Right you know.

      • TheHonestBestTrueAnswer

        Well what i mean by high maintenance is that many women today do want the Best which they will Never settle for Less since so many women have their Careers today which they will Never go with a man that makes much Less money than they do since so many women today do carry their Greed And Selfishness with them everywhere they go. Most women i would say have really Changed for the Worst over the years unlike the women of years ago that were completely different than today which it certainly would’ve been much Easier for a Good man like me that really wanted to get married to have a family which i still Don’t have today which really hurts me very much. And to see Millions of other men and women out there that were very Blessed to be together with their families which God has really Blessed them the way i look at it since i have other friends of mine that are Single too that really wanted to be settled down as well. So we really Can’t blame ourselves at all since many of us Good men are NOT SINGLE by choice.

  • AlwaysRightAndNeverWrong

    God is a very filthy Scumbag for making us innocent good people to suffer on this rotten earth, and Blesses the rotten low life people that have everything go their way. Go figure.

  • M Lee

    There are let me say Millions of things that i WANT…. Loads of things that i need… But the biggest NEED has already been given to me … God gave me this immense faith in him … like a life line directly from him … and even though the pain i experience of not having most of my prayers answered… I am able to look up to him and blindly surrender myself to his will COMPLETELY. I dont wish to reason … i just talk to him… i silently look at him and i know he knows.

    • TheHonestBestTrueAnswer

      Well if your married with a good family which you have a very good reason to be happy since many of us Don’t have that at all which many of us would’ve wanted that gift of life.

  • Aftin

    This blog definitely put some peace on my aching heart. I deperately want to meet the man I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with. God has never forsaken me. Every prayer I raise to him he has always answered. Last year, I was blessed with a great job and amazing coworkers that I love. I now have my own apartment that I’ve always wanted. What’s even more amazing is that my apartment is literally 10-15 minutes away from my favorite church. So I get to praise and worship him every Sunday. I’m building a stronger relationship with him, but I find myself restraining my trust in him to find me someone special. I know that he wants me to “wait”, but since living alone I find myself wanting the “one” more and more. I can admit that I lack patience, and with that I’ve gotten in heartbreaking scenarios. I’m having a really hard time letting God take the reigns on this desperate wanting for a soulmate. I feel that if I let go and let god that I’ll somehow be forgotten. I’ve never really admitted that to myself and it feels very real to me. I literally feel that I will no longer matter and that’s clearly not true. My heart has become so heavy just thinking and worrying about it. I know it’s time to let it go. Having no control is so scary to me.

    This blog was amazing. I know in my heart that God will bless me with a good man. I just have to let the control go. Thank you for your truth. It really opened my eyes to my own.

    AWarren

  • Lichy

    I wish I could “come to terms” with not having children after trying almost six years. No healing, and no baby. My life is completely torn apart, and my marriage deeply shaken.
    More than anything else I want to kill myself, but something holds me back. Infertility has cut me so deep I don`t think even God can heal the wounds.
    I hate life, I really hate it. And I am too tired to go on

    • Grace

      Lichy I pray that you will find peace again. I know what you feel like. I have just finished the 3rd round of IVF and after spending $20,000 total I am left with nothing. I cry to think that I will not be able to give a child to my husband and his parents who I love dearly.

      Don’t loose hope though. What if God has a different plan? My husband and I are now going to look at adoption and pray that the process won’t take too long. In the mean time we will continue to pray for a miracle but also for God’s direction in our life.
      I have already lost both my parents to cancer, my ex-husband cheated on me and stayed with the woman he chose over me. God does heal in time.

      Others in the world suffer far greater then us and we have the knowledge and goodness of God’s grace in our lives.

      Please don’t loose hope.

  • gdlywom 32

    Deep, meaningful friendships…heck, friends, period. It seemed like the more I prayed for them, the more enemies I accrued. I stopped praying for them long ago because I realized that probably isn’t what He wants for me right now. Also watching my youngest daughter suffer with some unknown ailment that causes her to throw up during her period, causing her to miss school days. Unrequited desires for my oldest daughter. I have a LOT to be thankful for; don’t get me wrong. But these things just make me sad, and not having support just magnified these things in my soul. Please, when you have time, pray for me.

    • Laina

      I’m so sorry to hear and I did pray for you <3 Listen, about your youngest daughter and her cycles, may I suggest looking into doctors who treat autoimmune diseases. Particularly dysautonomia, or something related to the autonomic system. I experienced the same horrible thing for about 10 years, and it traced back to that. I hope this is a help; I sure wish someone had told me this back then. I can't really say there's anything to do to "fix" it, but lifestyle changes like what she eats and certain supplements can sometimes lessen the symptoms.

    • Amaris Lancaster

      I sincerely will. I want to thank you for not losing trust in God.

  • Al

    God has answered NO to every single prayer I have ever had in my life. Big, small, desperate, selfish, good, bad. It doesn’t matter. Every prayer I have had has had one of two results. It has either been ignored entirely, or I get the opposite of what I pray for. I have lost any and all desire to pray. What is the point? I understand God doesn’t answer all prayers, but can’t he just answer one to show he cares? I’m so sick and tired of asking for help from Him just to be rejected. They say you just don’t believe enough, that prayers with doubt will never be answered. Well, why should I believe he cares when he never answers.

    • Michi

      I feel exactly the same way.

    • Jennifer Underwood

      Check your life for unconfessed sin, accidental disobedience, a lack of a personal relationship with him, unforgiveness and bitterness towards family or friends you cant get over, etc. anything that is like resentment, jealousy, etc. check all the lines of sin you can and see if you forgot to repent something. im always praying please show me what i can confess. because their is a wall that is put up between you and God if something is wrong in your life. he is trying to get your attention. also, if you havent been saved properly and have not reached salvation your prayers will also go unanswered. hope this helps you and im sorry you feel bad. I do too sometimes.

      • Theonethatgotaway

        Big laugh what a joke! Why must it be conditional, why must he not provide for someone he chose to bring to this world, His choice not ours. He is a bad father, the truth is that God loves who who wants to love. There are millions of people in the world who have good lives freely and easily given to them and guess what they don’t even care for his existence and well (I will speak for myself) have trusted God with everything even in the worst of situations where he chooses to place me. He even made me an outcast out of all my family, the one with all the bad luck the one who is never successful with anything the one who looks like a dwarf and never grows and I still loved him with no anger in me with complete will to love and trust him and all this does to me is end up making me feel like I am selfish for wanting anything from him because I have been patient with him for so long. I feel bad for asking for happiness in my time here on earth ? Imagine that? I think why do I deserve it when there is so many people suffering worse than me but then I remember that there’s a whole lot of people who have great perfect lives. So my father in heaven has people like you telling us we have to work our butt off to remove sin for some peace and happiness? That sounds wrong man! Its sick he is no God he doesn’t exist , if he does he is cruel he must put me through all this just so I love him which I do no matter what even in anger like right now. I do love him but the truth is God loves himself and because he is all powerful and all perfect he will only love that. So if you are weak and all sorts of wrong forget it he won’t even hear you

    • Valerie

      Maybe God has given you the things you’ve asked for, in ways you did not understand. Sometimes, we are attached to material things, but they will not get you far. If you ask for things that will help you grow spiritually, you will see the answers.
      If you look into the ‘Law of Attraction’ you will see that God has created us in his image, and we are co-creating our own lives (to a certain extent) but we can only attract what we are. So if you are bitter or angry about anything, you have to figure out a way to let go of all of this negativity, because in the end, you will attract what you are.
      Hope this helps
      V

      • IDon’tKnowWhatTodo

        ehh that a lie. We can never stop letting negativity get in to us. Plus some people who are not christian get what they want. I’m thinking about not being a christian anymore because of what god done to me. People said that if you work then you will get it. It just doesn’t make sense.

  • Valerie Chambers

    Thank you for writing this. This quote really helps me “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

  • Tasha Reid

    This blog is excellent, Im married without kids and having kids is what everyone wants or expects but I dont think its easy. My husband and I are trusting God for kids in the fullness of time…I believe God has his own plans that I prefer instead of our own. Not having kids does not define who you are in Christ Jesus…spiritual growth in this time has been excellent…its more than words can say. Im happy that my husband is on the same page with me, thats a blessing. God is good, trust Him because he does see the big picture.

  • manifan

    Three years is not a long time to wait for a child. My parents didn’t have me until they were 38 and 40. My niece didn’t get pregnant until 10 years into her marriage, despite trying. God knows when the time is right and you have to wait on Him.

  • datboychris

    Honestly, im a young man and a hopeless romantic. Im about 19 years old, just graduated from high school last year. Since then, my life and relationship with god have been an exhausting roller coaster. On one hand, I have so much to thank him for. He’s privided me with the opportunity to fulfill my dream of becoming an officer in the USMC. But then on the other hand, I feel as though ive lost so much. This thing we call the real world…that life being on your own fresh out of high school. Its exhausting. And honestly, its lonely. I was deeply in love with someone I had been with for a while and thought she would always be there to support me. But she broke off. Friends broke off. Family started to break off. New friends arent the easiest thing to make when you have certain goals in college. On top of that, those who have the same goals as me seem stuck up, acting as though they’re somehow better than the rest of the world. It also seems like they’re constantly in a struggle to push one-another (including me) down in some attempt to get ahead. Again, i find a way to thank god. Even as im writing this, I think about how he hasnt allowed them to have their way with me (if they could, I would be gone and my dreams would fall off the hinges). At the same time, i find myself…unhappy. I was always pretty popular in High School. I wasnt the most popular guy. But I was never lonely like this. Now I feel alone. Like im takinf on this world without support. I suppose what I so desperately desire is meaningful relationships. People I can trust and be myself with. And most importantly, someone to love and share my success and pain with. And this may sound like a selfish thing to say, but I feel like there’s a time limit on it. Like…i would like those things to come before I actually commission. Why? I have a hard time trusting people due to certain circumstances in my life that I wont go into detail on. And I feel like those who come after ive achieved that level of success would likely be there with ulterior purposes. So I ask god every day to help me in this…and yet I feel as though he tells me no each time. I love God. He has provided so much for me and I have every reason to be grateful to him…but this that I want…am I being selfish or ungrateful by asking for it?

    • Amaris Lancaster

      Not at all! 🙂
      It’s alright to have the desire to find ‘the one’ God Himself said,
      “…It is not good that the man should be alone…” Genesis 2:18, and “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22”
      So it is not ‘selfish’ or ‘ungrateful’ and it’s actually biblical. But here’s where the hard part comes in, the waiting on the Lord part. I have been told by SOOoooo many godly, married couples that when they finally trusted in God, and learnt how to wait and be content was when God sent ‘the one’. Here’s what to do while waiting for God’s timing; Immerse yourself in God, study His Word, talk to Him, ask Him for wisdom.(Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.) (Psalm 130:5 I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.) (Psalm 25:4-5 Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.)
      I’m sure you have heard of the verse, “Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalm 37:4, Someone once showed me this; The start of the verse starts with Delight thyself in the Lord. This comes before the part where He gives us the desires of our heart. Also If we are delighting ourselves in God, our desires will start changing to become what His desires

      are. David wrote in Psalm 40:8, “I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.”

      Here are some more bible verses that encourage me,
      Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

      Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not untothine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (He has an AMAZING, OOBER-FANTASTIC story, far beyond anything I could imagine, planned for me! I just have to let Him take me there)

      It is SO hard to be content to be single if that’s what God decides in your life, but once there, there is so much peace and joy that comes from being solely focused and in love with God. Being content in God can take years to master, and the only way you can find it is immersing yourself in Him. Keep on finding the things you are thankful to God for and trust Him to know what He’s doing.

      Many things you were describing, are things that are familiar to me. It takes me AGES to trust someone. I am good at socialising but not good at making friends. So I find that most of my friends come from spending time with them through other friends. At the moment I feel very distant from all of my friends that used to be really close. The best advice I can give you for this, is to stay connected to your church, if you don’t have a church find one. THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! My church is my home and support group. Form relationships with people of all ages in your church. Don’t forget that we are reminded, Not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting (encourage) one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25) “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:16)
      Life is so much harder out of school right! Focus on God and keep good christian company, It helps loads!
      I hope this actually helped. 🙂 Sorry it was so super long… I wanted to put the verses into it.

  • Brad Kell

    So, God doesn’t think I need a wife for all these years, and most other men do? Does he think I am superman or something?

    • RandomStranger

      Did you need wife? Are you looking for you? Why do you want “a” wife. Learn to be content and know that God provides everything (He does not have to, but He is doing it out of Grace).

      • Brad Kell

        Someone to share life with. To love. Does God give most men a wife? , Or do they just get them on their own? Why are their many men and women who would be good husbands or wives that are alone, but also many who treat people poorly that have one? Does God do what ? In all of this?

        • Child of God

          hey again,
          when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing. God made man and woman to marry, sometime we have to wait on God to move in our lives and not just with marriage with everything so that we make sure that it is God and not we ourselves that we are listening to. the men or women that treat their husbands or wives badly that is not God. some may have lost their way or that wife of husband may not have a relationship with Christ. if you don’t know Him you can’t love like Him and you don’t know how to treat others all of this comes for God who teaches you how to love and treat others. so in others words God does not do that poorly treating, bad things. it is that person God did not tell them to doing anything opposite His word.

          • And That Is The Serious Truth

            Just maybe, if there weren’t so many Gay Women nowadays which many of us very good straight men would’ve been able to meet a good normal woman for us for a change.

      • Brad Kell

        I also am thinking maybe God wants me to be single. I am in my late 50s and it has never worked out for a love from a wife. Do you think God is telling me I should be single? Just asking….

        • Child of God

          Hi, Brad I understand what you are feeling, but I have a couple of question for you: 1. Do you know what it will take to have a marriage work? Are you ready to give of yourself selflessly, placing her your wife before all except God?
          The last thing is this God said in Gen that man should not be alone that why he gave Adam Eve. So while you are waiting for that wife that will be just right for you thank God for your wife your gift from Him and while you are thanking Him ask God if there is anything in you that would not make you the Husband/man after His own heart. what ever He says to take it and do it. Ask if you are ready for a wife and not just because you day you are, don’t worry about your age that matters not. Remember this no matter what serve God with all the you are and have and if it is in Gods perfect will for you then she will come in Gods time and not our own. P.S. Marriage is work no matter what!!!
          love a child of the most high God

          • Brad Kell

            I did that in my last relationship, and all she did was try to take advantage of me and everything I was taught at church on how to treat a woman . Actually, What I learned at church was the opposite of how I should have treated her….

          • Brad Kell

            I have a question for you. What significance is there for God to determine who gets a spouse and who does not and at what age the ones that do get some more what determines It all? To your best understanding?

        • Dena

          Sometimes it’s not God but the choices of the people we choose to let into our lives. A lot of times we see the warning signs that this person should not be in our presence but we ignore it and then when thing go wrong we want to blame God for our bad choice. Seek a woman that loves God and you’ll find your wife.

          • Brad Kell

            Maybe it wasn’t my choices, but, lack of them….. In my area, most get get together, and or married by age 25, after that , for a man few or no good choices….. Even then she might not want you…..

          • TheRealTruthHasBeenTold

            What makes it more very sad for us men is that many women are real Psycho’s these days since they like to Curse at us men when we will just say Hello to them which Doesn’t make any sense at all. No wonder why many of us men Can’t find love at all today.

          • Brad Kell

            There aren’t any, and the ones who do are not a good match…. it’s not always a man or woman’s fault if they can’t get anyone……..

          • Priscilla Dhillon

            Well I wouldn’t want you either with that attitude.

          • Brad Kell

            same to you

          • TheRealTruthHasBeenTold

            The real problem here is that many women just don’t have any respect at all for us good innocent men really looking for a relationship since so many women unfortunately today are very mouthy to us men when we will try to talk to these women which they will push us away. It is very unfortunate that many of these women just don’t like men period and are most likely gay anyway which then i would really understand if that is the real case. But there are many of us real good men out there that are still available which it is very difficult for many of us men just to talk too women nowadays since they will keep avoiding us.

          • oscar

            You have a bad attitude…

          • Well I Certainly Agree

            Another typical moron woman that you commented too since these women do certainly have a very serious Attitude Problem these days.

          • Well I Certainly Agree

            Women like you really stink altogether now.

      • Brad Kell

        Did God provide someone for you? I am trying to understand why. Most have a mate, some do not and there seems no reason those that want someone should be denied by God, when he knows how they would treat them…..if you have a mate why is it a need for you and not me?

      • Brad Kell

        What significance is there from God on what is this the determination on who gets a spouse who does not? And if they do at what age? Just trying to understand why some people myself included don’t have anyone and others I know did and got them at relatively young ages like early 20s.

  • Child of God

    I have a husband and we have been married for almost 8yrs, I am now 45yrs old he is 35. We have been trying to have a baby and a little over two years ago we were pregnant and in 6th week we had a miscarriage and we were so very disappointed and I was mad God because He told me we would have a child. well long story short, I am no long mad with God and we have yet to have a child. we have tried fertility mediations and it has not work so we decided that when it is time God will do what He said it will happen, our blessing will come. but in the mean time I am counting it all joy. thanks for sharing it helped me and I pray it helps others. hold on to His hand much love in Jesus name!

  • Karen Montanaro

    I am 48 years old this year. I was born without functioning ovaries, so born sterile. It’s tough. I will explode if people suggest adoption or fostering as that has not worked either. God clearly doesn’t want me to be happy.

    • Jesusfreak17

      I am so so sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult that must be for you. This probably sucks to hear, but you’re right, God’s main purpose isn’t to “make you happy.” His main purpose is to show you how great His love is and how great He is. I know that might sound contradictory, but it’s true. I just lost a friend very suddenly. So I am very far from happy, at the moment. I really want him back. But I am also okay because I can see how much God loves me even now. I am surrounded by people who knew him and are there for me and for the others who are hurting from his loss. I can see how God gently prepared me in small ways. And I know my friend is with Jesus smiling his bright smile. Joy is still possible.

      • Rose

        I am 47 this year. I was born without a womb. As a Christian I believed God would perform a miracle. Am still waiting. Adoption has not worked for us either. It’s just sooo painful. My spritual life is in crisis! Why can’t God fulfill what he has promised!

        • Jesusfreak17

          Rose,
          I’m so sorry. Again, I can’t imagine what that must be like. It’s totally ok to want that and to be upset that that isn’t what God has had for you so far. But God is still good. Maybe instead of dwelling on what He hasn’t given you, dwell on what He has. You have a husband, yes? What a blessing! Do you have a supportive community? A safe home? A stable job? I have no idea, but you do. Try thanking God for those things.
          Losing my friend is the most painful thing I have ever been through. He was the kind of person who lit up the room, who remembered what people told them about their lives and asked about it, who never said an unkind word about anyone (truly, his parents, his friends, everyone remembered this.) I am struggling with this. I am asking Him why. But I also still trust Him. He does have a plan. For my life and for yours. It’s okay to struggle, and keep asking, and keep hoping, and to hurt, but He also calls us to follow Him no matter the circumstance, and to trust Him. Just think about the first Christians from the book of Acts. They endured torture, loss, persecution. And yet they still trusted and followed God.
          God bless,
          Jesusfreak17

  • Cheryl Witha

    Your words really helped me as I’ve been struggling recently, waiting patiently is very difficult but I know all is good in his time … Thank u

  • LetTheTruthBeTold

    What makes it real very Sad for us Good Single Men is that there are just too many Career women nowadays that are so very Selfish And Spoiled which really keeps many of us Single.

    • Adem Cindrah

      Is the problem the fact that they are ambitious career women or the fact that they are selfish and ‘spoiled’? Those two are mutually exclusive, you know?

      • LetTheTruthBeTold

        Well there are many women nowadays that will just want the very best of all and will never settle for less which their greed and selfishness is so very out of control now more than ever since they will never want to go with a man that makes much less money than they make. Lets face it, most women today will even take advantage of men that have a lot of money which it is very unfortunate for these men that are being used by these type of loser women in the first place. I seen it happen to other men that i know and eventually they caught wise to it after a while. This is a totally a very different time that we live in now since the old days which most of the women back then really did put these women today to real shame since they weren’t at all like they are nowadays. The old fashioned women which most of them as well had a much better personality, better manors, much easier to meet, much more respect, and certainly a lot easier to start a normal conversation with too. Unfortunately most of the women today are the very complete opposite which makes them very pathetic altogether.

  • Avery

    For the past 4 days i prayed to god for letting me get in to string orchestra. I practiced so hard on Saturday for about 4-5 hours nonstop and 3 hours on sunday but i still didn’t make it in. I guess this is why people stopped believing in god because they pray to god and work for it but still didn’t get what they wanted.

    • katie

      That’s not the only reason people stop believing in God, but I do understand your struggle.

  • Deisy Mendoza

    My Name are Daisy Mendoza From United state. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man calledDR EHIGHALOA has done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to my husband called Mendoza we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave me his contact email, then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he told me to get some items that will be use to prepared this spell casting and which i could not found but he also helped, he told me to send the little money for the items which i gladly send the money to him, that was how i get my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR EHIGHALOA for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:
    1) If you want your ex lover back.
    (2)If you are looking for a baby,
    contact dr EHIGHALOA on his email drehighaloaspelltemple@gmail.com

  • Guest from New Orleans

    Thank you for this.

  • alan anosh

    I feel that when God doesn’t give us what we desire the most is because He wants us to have an unconditional relationship with us.. He probably wants us to love him above all of our desire…

  • Jackie

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. My husband and I got married a little over a year ago and waited for our one year anniversary to start trying. Then, we had to wait because of Zika virus fears. Then, finally, we started trying this month. I have been praying FERVENTLY for a baby and thought it would *just happen* for us. Unfortunautely, it wasn’t our time just yet. Even though we have not been waiting long, I feel like I have been waiting forever. I have had exactly the same thoughts and feelings you have had, like God has forgotten about me and will never give me the desires of my heart. Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me comfort to know I am not alone in my wait.

  • Alice Michelle

    Such an encouraging post. God bless you, strengthen and perfect you for His purpose. I stumbled across this in a Google search. I am so grateful!

  • JustTooManyLoserWomenNowadays

    With so many Gay women today it is very Difficult for us Straight Good Men to have God give us what we want when many of us men are looking for a Good Decent Normal woman to settle down with. Just too many very Psycho women nowadays that like to Curse at us men for just saying hello to them. I don’t get it. And i have a friend that had this happened to him too. No wonder why many of us men are still Not married today. MGTOW.

    • Pam

      Crime makes woman scared of random men saying hello, so they bark out fear. Be gentle and understanding.

      • JustTooManyLoserWomenNowadays

        Well it was very Easy for our family members finding real love in the old days since it definitely was a much different time back then which it is just too very bad that those days Don’t exist anymore unfortunately. Thanks to our parents is the real reason why we’re here today. I really wish that i could go back in time and start all over again since many of us men that really wanted to get married and have a family definitely Would’ve been all settled down by now with our own Good Wife And Family that we still Don’t have today.

        • Batgirl

          And go back to the days of racism, hidden spousal abuse, sexism, and unfairness in the workplace?

          • JustTooManyLoserWomenNowadays

            There are many of us very good men out there nowadays that would really know how to treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect.

    • Adem Cindrah

      For every ‘loser woman’ out there is a woman who is ambitious, godly, compassionate and respectful with a lot of love to give and a heart ready to receive it as well. And she too is wondering why a lot of men she meets are ‘losers’. I know because I have incredible female friends hoping to have incredible meaningful relationships.

  • Kristin

    A little of my back story before I explain how I wound up here, on your blog. I broke off my engagement to a man 10 months ago. Both of our pastors said he had character red flags you can’t fix. So I let him go. I threw away my dream of being married – what my heart desired – but I also know that being married is a whole other journey, not a goal, not a status. I lost my friends because I chose my value over settling for being a last priority to a man who said he loved me. I chose to follow the inner voice in my head that quoted scripture after doing some research: “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church.” With selfishness and a lack of respect for me, I ended my walk on that path. For the past 10 months, I’ve been on the single path, in the trenches of dating. The realm where it seems some men don’t step up; they are boys without a plan. Their integrity doesn’t match their sincerity. I’ve looked at my life – family lives far away, my married Christian friends have a life of their own, and I find myself constantly reaching out to my friends in an effort to see them, to build our friendship, only to find myself exhausted, yearning for something to keep me company. I’m allergic to cats/dogs, and Jesus is just a spirit that lives in me that I will see when I die and go to Heaven. That would be too late for me to have a physical presence to abide the temporary time I’m here on Earth. So this morning, I searched the web for Bible stories of people who didn’t get what their heart desires and see how they dealt with it, because weeks on end, I have been playing tug-of-war with this reality. If I don’t get the chance to have a family of my own – married, with children someday in the future, what will really be left? Jesus made me allergic to man’s best friend, and I’ve got a one-sided effort with most of my newly made friends. God created us for relationships, but I’m stuck in a desert, I feel like the Israelite’s who were sent into the wilderness and had to rely on the “manna” that God gave them to get through one more grueling day. I was instantly drawn in when I got to your blog, and I gasped with tears with your misfortune. Over and over again you suffered and my heart goes out to you. Then you quoted Philippians 4:19 – BAM – the same scripture I quoted to a Christian mentor about this very thing. God creates us to desire relationships, yet giving someone the life of solitude and isolation, is the exact opposite of what we need, especially for an extrovert like me. My mentor came back to me saying Christ is our bridegroom. I’m sorry, but this isn’t the movie “American Beauty” where I sleep with a fatherly figure who knows how many years older….so in that light, Jesus is my Lord, my Father, the comforter, helper, my friend. Our relationship is not a romantic endeavor. Jesus is implanted in His children via “The Holy Spirit.” The Holy Spirit doesn’t have a flesh form. So what have I done? I’ve sought out God more to know His voice. Every day, putting in quality time by reading His word. Studies. Church. I’ve prayed for friends instead, ones that can actually get together (not just someone who can send a FB msg), to get through this season, yet I do not see He has delivered. I’m still having to exhaust myself in reaching out to people. For example, if I hadn’t reached out to a friend of mine just to make conversation, then I wouldn’t be having dinner with her this Thursday. I was the catalyst. It would not have happened without me reaching out. I’ve already tested that if I disappeared, I would not be sought out with a curiosity of my whereabouts. I’ve had people say they’re too busy, but would notice me not being around if I didn’t post a status update on Facebook. I’ve done a gratitude list, and I seem to not find anything to list after the basic necessities – freedom to worship Him, food, air, water, shelter, blankets, car, phone, computer, Internet (to find this touching blog). I express gratitude in the moments of “close calls” with misfortune. Just because I don’t cry with joy over the things I have, does not mean I am not grateful for what I have. We are not supposed to get attached to the things of this world, which is why I don’t get too crazy about things anymore. What I see about your story is that you’re not expecting a baby to just happen – you and your husband are working at conceiving. That encourages me that you still keep going for what you want. If anything, you will leave a legacy that the two of you were tenacious, determined, and hopeful. If you want a job, you fill out a resume, put it out there, and let God deal with the rest. You will bloom where you are meant to be planted. However, with this, finding love – you have to put yourself out there nowadays, whether you go out to social events, or you even get on online dating websites. Let the Lord do the rest. “Man may pave his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” However, my lack of encouragement comes with how society currently is – men without a plan for a date, wanting the women to be the “man.” Being told with sincerity in the moment that they want to see me again, but the integrity – the actual planning of another date – does not happen. I get mad more at how society has devoled over time that my dating pool becomes less and less. Let’s face it, wanting a Christian man who already goes to church and makes an attempt to spend time with God – is a rarity. The men I see volunteering at my church are those who are married with children. How to be hopeful when even Christian men act this way, acting like a woman than being a man, I have not found how to have hope in that regard. How I deal with my struggle? Sure I put myself out there, but I become discouraged with every encounter of a man being womanly. I’ve given up on praying because I feel I’ve beaten a dead horse, asking for the same thing, without any reassurance from God. I find Philippians 4:19 to be too “vague” for me, feeling it speaks to only basic necessities, but not anything else beyond those that could bring us a little bit of happiness, when all the alternatives without a husband or a family seem to be against me – allergic to man’s best friend, friends not putting effort into friendships because they are too busy, no desire to be close to current family, and I won’t become a single mom living uncomfortably just to have a child. I would say I’ve continued to take action and control over my situation by taking action. At least I know I did not give up on something that was near and dear to my heart. People have told me to take a break from dating because they see me discouraged, I see it as giving up on the last dream I’ve had for myself with nothing to supplement and get me by during the time I would be taking this “so-called” break. Sure, I have a bucket list, and I can become really self absorbed going about achieving that list if God doesn’t give me what I desire. There is no gray area. I mean, I have to make myself happy if there isn’t anyone else around to join in on that, right? I find your blog to be encouraging, but I’m still left with questions. It seems to be an ongoing thing with me, having more questions. God has only told me, “You have so much love to give. I don’t want you to just give that to any person.” It is wonderful to hear from the Father, but that doesn’t reassure me one bit that I will at least get the desires of my heart. You can love someone and not be in love with them, like a friend. Thank you for sharing your story. If you feel any calling to help me, my ears are always learning as I’d really like to fight this struggle and overcome it. Be blessed!

    • Oli

      God may want you to learn to be proactive and get involved in the courting process. I think what you describe as a man being a woman is a way many insecure men have of respecting you. Try to not be stubborn in accepting the way men try courting you, as long as they are respectful and as long as you feel the relationship could happen. My fiancé who I spend almost a decade broke up with me a few weeks ago. i am devastated I don’t want to date anyone else, but I am coming to terms that God doesn’t want me to be with my ex. Even calling him ex sounds weird… I still feel he is the love of my life. But God wants me to be strong and move forward and be self sufficient and feel good about myself. I know He has a plan for me and I am going to try my best to not complain. Just like you I am going to go with the flow. Just go with what feels right in my heart. Right now I need to start my new life somewhere else, and I feel lost. I know that whatever happen I have to trust HIM. God works in mysterious ways and even when you are about to lose hope, something good happens. Please be open about new men in your life, education nowadays teaches men to be so insecure about being dominant with the feminist movement. Why don’t you try tell them on your first date “I like a man who makes plans” or “What would be your ideal date?” and maybe share YOUR ideas of an ideal date…If you find someone you really like and want to know better, make the move…try something different, trust God He has a plan…and is really, really good..Let it happen.God bless you!

      • Kristin

        Hi Oli, I hear what you’re saying. Thank you for commenting on my reply to this lovely blog entry written by Mrs. Clark. First, I would like to say that I don’t like telling men how to act right in the beginning. You get a man who is trying to fit a mold instead of being his true self. Something I lerned from my broken engagement that you accept a man as is when you say yes when he proposes, so if you can’t live with something, and/or a red flag, you don’t proceed. I prefer to see how a man plans a date to see whether or not it will really jive with me. A man who is very spontaneous and lazy for the first date, wanting me to come up with all the plans is a turn off for me. I have no problem in collaborating and both parties asking questions to set the date, but if a man cannot take a lead on a date, come up with some idea, and plan the other parts with the girl as you’re coordinating with two schedules, then that type of man who wants the woman to take the lead, just isn’t the right man for me. I read a blog by a Pastor who says if a man cannot take a lead on a date, then he shouldn’t bother trying to be a leader of a household. He hasn’t been appointed yet to hold that “leadership” role, and the man leads the household. If a guy asks me about types of ideas, it’s hard for me to not think, “why not go on google and get a few ideas and present them to me?” On the other hand, the man may want to please me, so for the first date, I will give a few ideas in my neighborhood. Then I let them step up, take the lead, choose, and figure out the rest from there. But I really do want a guy who can also be initiative by going on yelp or google and putting an idea out there to work with. It shows that I don’t have to hold his hand through something simplistic like making a plan.

    • Wendy Valdez-Garcia

      Hi Kristin, I feel your loneliness and confusion just reading your story. I want to ask you many questions so I would know what to say. I too have been in the wilderness and prayed and prayed and waited for someone to walk with me in this journey. There were many things that God has revealed to me in the wilderness, but the most important one is learning to love Him above all else and really trusting that His plans are good for me even if in my eyes, or in the eyes of the world, it doesn’t seem like it. I cried, begged, worried my way into that desert many times. As I read the story of the Israelites tho, I learned that whining and being desperate and depressed in it won’t get me anywhere. God wanted me to worship Him in the wilderness and really know Him instead of focusing on the promise land. I can share many things about my journey if I would be able to talk to you. But I want to ask you, have you surrendered that desire to Him? The way Abraham surrendered his Isaac on that mountain? Have you come to a realization that God is good even if you would never get that one thing you desire?

      • Kristin

        Hi Wendy, thank you for your reply. I have prayed many times over the past 10 years for God to lead me to the right man. I really felt like my ex were meant to be there, but there were some red flags that I was surprised were there, and they were a game changer for me to end things. It was very painful to do, even after I consulted with both of our pastors. I know God is good, without a doubt. Despite whether or not I get what I desire? There would be a lot of unanswered questions and it wouldn’t make my trip to Heaven off to a good start, lol. I won’t find out why I never got to experience family and a marriage union until I’m dead, or why I was allergic to man’s best friend that I couldn’t even have some type of companion to get me through life. I have asked for friends and interesting enough, some friendships are starting to brew, and it wasn’t in the way I had imagined, so I am thankful for that. I don’t think God would put a desire in someone’s heart for so long and dangle it like a cookie, only to tell you that you’re not getting it. That would be so malicious on God’s part, IMO.

        • Wendy Valdez-Garcia

          Have you tried dating people that are not your type? I have done that and ask God to help me see the hearts of men and not just how I view them in light of my worldly standards. One mentor told me that I should be kind to every man that shows intentiom towards me and lead them to Christ, even if they are not my type. I also learned that I can not get married unless I learn how to forgive easy so God brought me to tests of betrayal and hurt from friends and past issues. In my journey of being married, I learned that I need to forgive my husband almost everyday. It would have been difficult if I did not learn what I did. God is not dangling anything. It is our desires and the enemy knows what would steal our joy. I have experienced Christmases when couples would kiss or hug in front of me and I would feel awful. I came to a point when I wasn’t focused on my loneliness anymore and what I don’t have. I became grateful and joyful, complete in Christ and happy for the women who had I don’t have. I focused on Christ and then I asked God to show me the things He needed to teach me to be prepared. Like Esther.
          I know its hard when all you can see is your reasons why you should have a companion and not understanding why you don’t have one. I hope you can trust me when I say that God is teaching something in waiting. The Israelites could have made it in 11 days in the promise land, but most of them did not even make it in 40 years because of how they reacted to what is going on in the desert. Praying for you to turn your focus to Christ in this. Much love.

        • Wendy Valdez-Garcia

          Yes you are right, God is not dangling that desire to you. The enemy and the world does. The enemy always wants us to focus on what we do not have and feel sorry that we don’t have what we want, even accusing God towards us. In reality, all of us will never stop wanting for something. And having a desire for companion is not wrong. It is wanting it so bad that it seem to become our savior. That if we don’t have it, we will remain in utter missery and desperation.
          God wants all of us. To love Him with all our heart, sould and strength, and He will stop at nothing to get us there. Truth is, God alone can satisfy us completely, but somehow we unknowingly have placed other treasures in our hearts that have become more important to us than Him. We don’t know these treasures until we are faced with tests such as wanting somethinh so bad and not getting it. Are we ok still when others get what we want or we don’t? Do we get angry at God as that desire eats us up? What if we won’t have it? Would we still be ok as long as we have God?
          People in the bible are tested in this matter, like Job, Paul and even Jesus. I believe that prosperity gospel has led us to believe that God is after our happiness in this life that we start to resent the real God of the bible when things aren’t going the way we want them.

          God will always give us what we need and not always what we want. Ultimately, we need Him and Him alone. More than making us happy, He wants our full devotion with or without what we have been praying or aksing for. He is more concerned with our hearts and character than our comfort and happiness. When i have learned to be joyful even if I never know when Ill get married or if Ill ever get married, or have a family that I have always wanted, that was the time I met my husband. When I was not focused on it anymore. I now have a family after waiting and waiting, because I have learned to be content wherever I was and ultimately find my joy in Christ alone. I guess when God gave me a husband, it did not matter much to me anymore. What mattered was God and God alone. He also prepared me along the way with many lessons and tests.
          One example of test is forgiving fast after a betrayal. I realized that everyday, you would have to forgive your spouse being a sinner like. And many other tests and lessons. He didn’t just allowed me to meet my husband just because I wanted it so bad. I focused on Him and seek Him non stop. He revealed my heart and Himself in those moments. It was an amazing time.

          I hope you would find it in your heart to seek Him more and all these things shall be added unto you. Know Him and you will understand why He allows his people to wait.

          The israelites never got to the promise land and wandered 40 years in the desert never learning what they needed to learn because they were always whining and focusing on what they want.

          I have many things I can share to you, but I just hope that you could shift your focus to the God of the bible instead of being eaten up with your desires. Praying for you.

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  • Maria Wilson

    I want to relate to my peers and become more discerning.

  • mpumy

    Wat an inspiring story. Tanks 2 u for sharing this. I v been waiting for a husband long time ago and I never get him. Sometimes I think of drinking wine and forget about God. But since I hv read your story I have changed my mind

  • lisa 242vv32

    men and women should come with the following warning labels….

    smoker, drinker, abuser, narcissitic or psychotiic behaviors, jealous ex wives, religious or not, gambler or habitual money spender, lowlife creep, adulterer, religious extremist like kkk or islamic cheater, thief, cheapscate, womanizer or worse serial dater or rapist….yep you can waste 15 years of your life only to find out that he never really loved you anyway…and not having kids is a blessing,,…they dont have to put up wth the things you put up with…. i too wanted a kid badly…but by my God i have seen the light……it would actually be not fair to the child if we were to have one right now….no matter how bad i want one…..survivng on the poverty line cause im the only dollar maker and i cannot get obamacare unless i cut off my phone ..thank you obama …for limiting my hours at work

  • Eunice

    Thank you so much for sharing, Kristen. I pray that I will be able to apply this to my life too. I hope God will bless you with children in His own timing 🙂

  • Brad Kell

    I don’t care anymore…..and I don’t want and won’t accept a woman in my life… If God wanted me to have anyone he should’ve done it along time ago when I really needed them, I don’t anymore and it’s too late for that now…… Best of luck to anyone that might want someone, ……

    • LetTheTruthBeReallyTold

      I certainly agree with you all the way.

  • Lainey

    “If you can’t be content with what God has given you today, you won’t be content with what God gives you tomorrow.” WOW. That is SO powerful-thank you so much for sharing your story:)

  • Brad Kell

    thank you, have a good life

  • Brad Kell

    who cares anymore? i am better off without anyone …. have a good life

  • Brad Kell

    i dont want anyone anymore……. am free from caring…….thank you……. am better off single yes……. have a good life,

  • Viky

    A minute ago i had tears like a water fall. I have a desperate situation tjat i feel so lost and lonely and out of love. I have a partner who doesnt love me enough to marry i jave a family but we just domt see to get along. I feel like in a world of cruelty. It always seems what i want i cant have it and if i have it its not for long.. i prayed but seems like God doesnt hear me i een asked him to give me gi holy spirirt but iam in agony and pain ..i gues its amatter of time that God will answer i only wish for peace and hapienes even if i dont gt far in my love life bt i want God love.. reading your article made me relised like you said God doesnt gove us everthing but we need”.. As long a i have his love i will be content when i receiveqviky

  • Teresa Buchmann

    I am in the same situation as you and I understand what you are saying but I still dont understand why God would give a child to a mother who drinks or smokes or doesnt take care of her children and not to us. Even if that is some higher plan of his for our future it just doesnt seem right. And this is where I will have trouble with the idea of ‘God’s plan.’

  • April

    I am truly troubled by the life I think God wants me to live. Today I could not stop crying because I can no longer deny that God wants me in the job I don’t necessarily like. I know I should be happy to have a job but I can’t, all I do is cry. I feel like God wants me miserable. I am truly broken and beaten. I have lost my joy and hope. I live my days just going through the motions and making sure my son is taken care of. I don’t know how to be happy all alone, struggling to make ends meet for my family. I’m just defeated.

    • Ruth

      Dear April, if you truly believe that it is God who wants you in this job, it’s for a reason, wait for it, its coming. Be sure God wants you there and patiently wait -things will change. I’m speaking from experience where things changed at work in VERY unexpected ways and people left who I never imagined would. Keep the faith dear

  • Aaron Castro

    You see, I don’t tend to ask about these things online but honestly I’m falling apart, I’ve Christian all my life tho I’m kinda far right now for many circumstances, I met a girl after a tragic accident in which my little sister died, she helped me even went she didn’t knew me,I felt in love and I want to save her too, show her our faith but I feel like God is ignoring all my prays and everyday I suffer a lot, I love her, I want her by my side and I promise that if it’s not her, I will stay single for the rest of my life, whenever I think of her with other guy I just feel like jumping from the highest rooftop I can find, my heart is destroyed from the last year and this last “punch” is about kill me, please I beg for help, life just lost all kind of sense for me and I can’t barely even hold myself from suicide, I don’t feel like life is worth living this way

    • Cappy

      Aaron, I am deeply troubled by your pain. No one deserves to go through the level of hurt you are experiencing right now. Do you have anyone in your life you can talk to? A friend? Coworker?

      It worries me how much you idolize this girl. She may not want to be with you. That is harsh to say, but it may very well be true. Have you thought that perhaps putting all of your existence into a single person may not be good for you? I strongly recommend that you see a doctor or therapist. Your feelings are hurting you, and your actions will, if they haven’t already. Please, seek out help.

  • Tammy Starcher

    If God doesn’t want us to be lonely, then why have I always been alone? It’s always been just me. I’ve prayed for years for God to send a friend (He places the lonely in families….Ps ?). Yet I have never had anyone with “skin” on to depend on. If I were to take a vacation from work and die in my sleep, no one would notice until something smelled or my vacation ran out. I have never in my life had a friend, yet alone a spouse. If God looked at Adam and said, “Hey, this guy needs a mate” he knows that companionship is a necessity, not a want. Babies die of something called marasmus when they feel unwanted. I think people do, too.
    So as to your idea of being loved by someone as being a “want,” you didn’t think that through and you don’t sound as though you have ever experienced it so don’t judge that feeling. It’s callous and crass.

    • Lauren Cowart

      Hi Tammy, I’m so sorry to hear about the loneliness you’ve been experiencing. God did make us to be social creatures and to interact with one another. I will pray that God will bring wonderful, encouraging people into your life to grow in Christ with. Are you a member of a church? Bible classes and small groups are a great way to meet people and start friendships!

  • oscar

    f off

  • Josline

    I feel like God created me by mistake. I have 2 bachelor’s degrees and worked a dead end job for more than 8 years and was fasting and praying like nobody’s business. Now 12 years later, unemployed, in debt and empty life. As I grew and read the scriptures, they say do what you can and God will help forward. But I’m starting to believe that he just doesn’t care about me. I need a job to survive but nothing. I prayed, got desperate, frustrated and even severely depressed but still nothing. The only reasonable answer now is, God does not even care about me. I got to a point where I wanted to check-out of this sorry excuse of a life. And God won’t even care less. I’m really defeated. I have been crying myself to sleep for more years than I care to remember. It is just not happening. Im starting to believe that for some of us, there is just no plan that God has. I even stopped praying cause I think he might smack me cause he hates me so much.
    All my friends that I went to university with for the first bechelors degree are working and can see the plan for their lives. Also those I graduated with for the second bechelors degree are employed and have fulfilling lives with meaning.

    Mine, still unemployed and can’t even buy myself tooth brush. I am really really tired and broken inside. I don’t even know why i should carry on. What is the point really. I’m convinced he really doesn’t care about me and my life is a manifestation of his hatred for me.

    • Folarin Fa

      Hey Joseline! The very fact that you read this posting and poured your heart out on this forum shows that you are not a mistake. You are absolutely NOT a mistake. I just want to encourage you and tell you that YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE. The enemy is so crafty + quick with the lies he wants to infiltrate your mind with. You are alive and full of purpose and meaning. Romans 8:28 states that God causes all things to work together for our good for those who are called according to his purpose. You are called, before your mother’s womb Christ formed you and had a plan for your life before you were born. Please read and google scriptures of what Christ thinks about you! he thinks the world of you. Please don’t get caught up in what person A,B,C has going on in their life… never ever ever.

      “God has special assignments for you. Out of all the world, He’s chosen you. Called you. Equipped you. Don’t believe Satan’s lies that someone else’s calling is better. Don’t waste one second wishing for her life.

      Remind yourself… “I’m not equipped to handle her life – both the good and the not-so-good. And her life is a package deal of both. But I am equipped to live my calling. So let me go after that today with everything I’ve got!” -Lysa TerKeurst

      Please take heart and know that when you have Christ, you truly have everything. Read the story of Job and be blessed sis.. You think you’ve been buried, but you’ve been planted. HOPE HOPE HOPE in the Lord and believe by faith what the scriptures say about who Christ is and who your are in him. Stir yourself up in the Lord and stop listening to defeat. Ask the Lord to reveal to your remembrance his faithfulness. Give it all to Him. Those who HOPE(Trust/wait/rely on) in the Lord will NOT be put to shame -Psalm 25:3, Isaiah 40:31

      • Josline

        Hey Folarin Fa: thank you for the reply, it really made me feel better. I used to talk to my fellow Christians and the most answer I used to get was” you need to repent of your sins” or ” maybe you are not praying hard enough”.
        As for the scriptures, I have locked myself in my room for the past six months turning them up side down. I don’t really want to go outside as everytime I do , I bump into my neighbours and they make statements like” YOU ARE STILL UNEMPLOYED!!” .I don’t know really.
        Even my family started to tell me I’m not looking hard enough!!.
        At times I find myself praying for God to send me an angel of death to take me away so I can rest. As Im not strong enough for this fight, it is really too much, I’m tired of crying, feeling sad,hopelessness and waking up to nothing.
        I am just tired.

        • Folarin Fa

          🙂 You are absolutely welcome! I believe you wrote for a reason. See how Jesus works! HE IS ALWAYS AT WORK… and if you can fix your focus and see your season from Heaven’s perspective it will change everything. God is hugeeee, read and reread testimonies of the faithfulness of the Lord. Hope lives on the inside of you and you my friend are not perishing. Don’t yield to what the enemy wants.. you to remain in that deep dark pit and isolate yourself. Strive everyday to speak hope and believe hope even in what the world deems as a hopeless situation. I LOVE how you admitted you aren’t strong enough for this fight. That is humility.. the Lord will exalt you in due time. Paul states in 2 CORINTHIANS 12:10 “That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Stay the course… do what you only know to do an that’s to seek the LORD’s face NOT his hand (provision). “Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore!” —Psalms‬ ‭105:4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ Let the Lord satisfy you this season. You have a role to play… applying to jobs is part of it but getting before the Lord, WORSHIP, reading the scriptures, hearing him on a daily is what you need to do right now. Also there are soooo many GOOD sermons by Steven Furtick on hope and the 7mile miracle on youtube! Please watch them and stirrr yourself up in the Lord.. FURTICK states “What if God has been using the disappointments in your life to deliver you to your destiny? The same God who will COMFORT you in your DESPAIR, WILL ALSO CHALLENGE YOU IN YOUR DYSFUNCTION.”

          The scriptures state “We call Abraham “father” not because he got God’s attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn’t that what we’ve always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, “I set you up as father of many peoples”? Abraham was first named “father” and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, “You’re going to have a big family, Abraham!”
          Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said. That’s why it is said, “Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right.” But it’s not just Abraham; it’s also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God.” —Romans‬ ‭4:17-25‬ ‭MSG‬‬
          This is it. Faith, faith, FAITH!!!!!!!!!! Hope is so good to me. Hope in the Lord Joseline, Faith is the substance of things HOPED for, and the evidence of things unseen. The promise in Jeremiah 29:11 is one that you can’t allow to slip out of your life. Jeremiah 29:13 is what I believe to be a promise as well. Ephesians 6 a verse states after you’ve done all you can to STAND…. STAND. Stay the course. If you don’t quit.. you’ll see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Looks like you have a part to play. LIVE DEFEATED… OR LIVE BY FAITH/VICTORIOUS Yield yourself to what the scriptures state!!! open up that Bible.

          P.S. Sorry for the typos.. I am praying for you…actively praying for you 🙂 You’ll get through it.. If David in the Bible God through it you can!!! GOD IS WITH YOU IN THIS STORM.

        • Josline

          Folarin Fa: I have searched U-tube for pastor Steven Furtick, and I don’t know how to put this.
          1. I realised that I knew the scriptures, but did not understand them. I was touched by his sermon which talked about ” reverse searching” and especially when he was teaching about Luke Chp 24. I was overcome with emotion and felt like he was describing me.” Christ is in the detours and dead- ends” and was in tears the whole time.
          I am truly grateful for your replies and your suggestions and I’m starting to feel that I can hold on a little longer with God’s help.
          I have been mourning and complaining for the past 12 years and did not stop to even think. I hate this state that I’m in and I don’t want to be here. I just hope that I will be strong enough to stick it through.
          I don’t know how am going to start as my mind can’t even think further than my bedroom door at this point! So exhausted I am. BUT I will try , I will at least try to pick up the pieces of whatever is remaining of my heart.

      • Josline

        Folarin Fa: I have searched U-tube for pastor Steven Furtick, and I don’t know how to put this.
        1. I realised that I knew the scriptures, but did not understand them. I was touched by his sermon which talked about ” reverse searching” and especially when he was teaching about Luke Chp 24. I was overcome with emotion and felt like he was describing me.” Christ is in the detours and dead- ends” and was in tears the whole time.
        I am truly grateful for your replies and your suggestions and I’m starting to feel that I can hold on a little longer with God’s help.
        I have been mourning and complaining for the past 12 years and did not stop to even think. I hate this state that I’m in and I don’t want to be here. I just hope that I will be strong enough to stick it through.
        I don’t know how am going to start as my mind can’t even think further than my bedroom door at this point! So exhausted I am. BUT I will try , I will at least try to pick up the pieces of whatever is remaining of my heart.

      • Josline

        It is. Whirlwind really

    • Pierrette

      Hi Josline,
      When one door closes another door opens. Have you considered starting your own business Pray on it! Sometimes God is leading us down another road and we just have to follow. An opportunity that you may have never expected may come knocking so be ready. Be encouraged and stay faithful. God hears you!

  • Kunzang Tenzin

    Even I feel that God has actually forgotten me and does not care about me and my family’s wellbeing. Iam unemployed and have 5 kids of 4 are going to school and the last one with Down syndrome. I have tried to survive through doing some odd jobs and also have started a small travel agency to help bring up my kids and feed them. But then it’s been many years I have been struggling to meet even to pay for my kids school needs. Iam not able to pay the house rents and on many occasion the house owner would threten to lock the door and kick us away for not paying the rents. In the mean time, I got an inquiry for the travel package cost to visit my country through my agency and it was a large group from which I could have made good profit to pay out all my debts. After about 30 emails the group was confirmed and I booked all the hotels and everything. Now the last thing was to wire transfer the tour package payments which was about $61000 for 29 people for 11 days tour. I was excited and have thanked God for finally I was blessed and would not have to vacate the house and let my kids live on the street. I was asked to send the invoice to transfer the payments which I promptly did. But after waiting for the payments for 2 weeks, there was total silence and there was no sign of forget about payments but even there was no reply for my repeated reminders. Now all the hotels which I booked for them are asking cancellation charges of about $10000 and iam awe strucked why God would do this to me. In my previous years, I have lost in my business and I went to deep debt. Lost 2 cars for nothing in the midst of those business loss. Iam a devote and born again believer and have brought many of my friends to Christ. But iam not able to raise myself from my poverty and instead iam put back into debt. I don’t know how I would be able to bring up my kids and my family. I pray everyday and wanted to know what’s that makes Jesus unhappy that I must always remain poor and in debts. I feel so shy to go out from my place because everywhere I go I meet someone who would ask “when are you going to pay?” And some would threaten to use social media to shame me. I feel God does not care me and atleast my family who are always parting day an night.

  • Ylandy

    My boyfriend told his not sure if he want the relationship anymore. I have love this man for 15 years. He told me this today but god told me last Monday that something was going happen and no matter how bad things look don’t give up! Don’t waiver from what he told me! He put in my spirit I was going get married to this man and he gave me his blessing! I’m trying keep the faith but maybe I heard him wrong! I definitely didn’t expect this. Sometimes I wonder if I heard what I wanted to hear! But then god says have I ever lied to you! I’m confused but I keep praying! I’m broken hearted but I’m praising him at the some time! This sound so confusing!

    • Wendy Valdez-Garcia

      Hi! First of all I want to say Im sorry that you had to wait 15 years for a boy that decides he does not want the relationship with you anymore. I want to ask you, how did God tell you that you will marry this person? Also, is he a Christian? Are you able to pursue purity with this guy? Because 15 years is a long time and difficult to be into if you are pursuing purity.
      God will not put you in a compromising situation where you will be tempted to sin towards Him. He tells us to flee from temptation and sexual immorality. If this guy is really who God wants you to be with, he would and should lead you to righteousness and purity for God’s glory. 15 years is quite a really long time for a man to realize if he sees you as a partner to pursue God’s purposes in this life. Even 3 years is quite a long time to know that already. But if this boy is leading you to sin against God, then I would have to say that he is not who God has intended for you. It might be that what you are hearing is your own heart’s desire or the enemy trying to deceive you. Yes, God does not lie, but this is true to His promises in the bible. Not on who He promises for anyone to marry. You will not find that in the scripture. A man that God wants for you is someone who will respect your purity and would commit to be faithful to you for the Lord. Not someone who would leave you confused. Wait upon the Lord and not on a boy.

      Please meditate on this scriptures. I believe that this would be really helpful.

      James 1:13-17
      13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

      16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

      • Cappy

        “how did God tell you that you will marry this person? Also, is he a Christian? Are you able to pursue purity with this guy? Because 15 years is a long time and difficult to be into if you are pursuing purity.”

        Why? Why are these things relevant? This is ridiculous. There was a problem in this relationship, religion and s3x were probably not huge problems unless someone was a fundamentalist.

  • Mary Van Paepeghem

    My soon to be husband says he wants to marry me but he wants someone who is skinny and I am not that. I truly love and care about him so it makes it hard on me and I am doing everything I can to make him happy.

    • Lisa

      Mary, listen to what you are saying “I am doing everything Icanto make him happy” Those words are fearfully unhealthy. God does not want you striving to keep this man. A man of God would not say those kinds of things to you. You should not have to change anything. You are headed for deep trouble if you say “yes” to him. It will only get worse as time goes on and he will continue to try and put you down in other areas. Please say no, and move on from this already toxic relationship. Praying for God to open your eyes and help you move on so that HE can bless you with HIS best.

  • Johnny Cottrell

    I want to kill myself because I can’t keep a job, constantly unemployed, cannot make money. I am here with no purpose and i can’t get a woman. Also I’m disgusted with my life because my mother can’t support me forever and i feel have no future blessed with money.

    • The Truth

      Don’t feel bad because there are many other people like you that feel the very same way as well. May God bless you and i wish the very best for you too. Peace.

  • Savanna

    I am tired of going from job to job, typical 9-5, feeling like the life is being sucked out of me. I have prayed for years for a career to come along that makes me happy and financially stable, and nothing yet has changed. I know I still need to be thankful that I have a job but its killing my soul. If God really has your life planned out though, should I be looking for opportunities everywhere and try and go for my dream jobs and take a huge risk or am I supposed to let it come to me? Will God just put it in my lap when he thinks I’m ready, or do I actually have to take that risk and try different things until I’m where I want to be? Because this job isn’t me and I know I meant for so much more. Please give me some advice. Thanks!

    • Sanna Nilsson

      A verse from the bible I think of is a Pray from 1 chronicle 4:10.

      God bless

    • Sally Smith

      I had a job that in the end I ended up hating although those two years taught me a lot. I got desperate and started applying for a range of jobs (some of which I didn’t really want). One day I reached a point where I got sick of making schemes and plans to get me out of my situation (as well as other areas of my life) and I got on my knees and just surrendered it. From my heart I said ‘God it doesnt matter anymore, I’m so sick of scheming…u know me and u know what’s best for me…u know the end from the beginning. If you want me out I trust u to open a door, if u want me to stay hear, I accept it will and will stay’. Two months later I was offered my dream job (which I have been in for a year now).

      Despite this I still struggle with not taking control especially when there are things that I want but don’t have, but when I do, truly do, my life is SO much better.

  • janderson

    I recently just found out I am going through early menopause. I am a young lady in my mid 30s and not even married yet. I enjoyed your story, but my life was never perfect. I have been dealing with emotional abuse by my family, molestation and unemployment and a host of problems through out my life. My life has been turned upside down since I was 4. I have always been the black sheep of my family because I wasn’t a certain size. I am smart and graduated from college, but I thought I was keeping God first and praying before I went to college and just trying to keep him first through out all the stuff that happened to me in my childhood. I mostly took the high road and trying to stay on the straight and narrow. I prayed for what I should major in and needless to say I am not working in that feel but still paying student loans. Every time I tried to make it I was always set back. I am now currently dealing with an illness no one can figure out what it is.I no longer have the desire to be married because I don’t want the pain of not being able to conceive. Children love me and now all I am is stuck in a job for 10 years. I have consistently looked for employment since I started. I used to love to travel and go places now I mostly stay at home, I have a body odor and guess do to my hormones that has made me very insecure. I am feeling like I am losing myself and no matter how much I pray. It feels as if I am out here alone. I have never asked for much and tried to remain humble. I really don’t know why would he allow me to struggle like this. I probably be able to eventually deal with the menopause but the odor is embarrassing. I have to go to work and deal with the looks and starts of my coworkers. I just cant figure out why what I need to do

    • Sally Smith

      I am so sorry ur going through this. I can only say that sometimes I don’t understand why I’m going through something until I have come out of it at the other end. Day by day, sometimes hour by hour is how I get through sometimes and I know that if I can do it for an hour, then logically, I can do it for a day and then a week…etc. God sees and I believe that each issue will be resolved one by one. I pray that you have peace tonight and that you feel God’s comfort, His arms around you. Bless you Janderson 🙂 xx

  • Chelsea Xena

    I desperately want to move away from my parents whom I think are abusive and go to a 4-year university and live in a dorm. I’m applying for my dream college for the Fall of 2018 and I think God put it on my heart to work and save up money during the time I wait for my semester. However, the admission process is so hard. None of my paperwork is coming in, I can’t even finish my application because there are some things I don’t know and my phone just stopped working so I can’t call my teacher (who has been helping me through the process) to ask for advice and help. Not being able to call my teacher was the final straw, I felt like maybe God was saying no to my dream and telling me to stay with my parents and let their will be done. I felt like giving up and just saying screw it, but then I got online and started looking up stories of fellow believer who feel like me.

    Now I don’t feel like God is telling me yes but I don’t feel like He’s saying no either (or sometimes I do) but I’m starting to think after reading this that maybe He’s telling me to wait…

  • elizabeth taylor

    my name is Elizabeth, i was going through an article and found out about a man called Dr Pomoh. i have been suffering from breakup issues with different guys. i had to contact the spell caster. Steve was on the verge of leaving me for another woman. but i stayed positive and believe i could have him back and make him stay. lo and behold Dr Pomoh helped me. Steve and i are getting married soon. Dr Pomoh is such a nice man, he also helped me stop my cardiac arrest problem. Thanks to him and thanks to God for the gift given to him. If you have any problem whatsoever, contact him on this email: godpomohspelltemple@gmail.com

    Contact him for the following and see the great work of Dr Pomoh:
    (1)If you want your ex back.
    {2}If you want to be very successful
    (3)If you are searching for a job
    (4)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (5)You want women/men to run after you.
    (6)If you want a child.
    (7)You want to be rich.
    (8)you want to get Marriage Spells
    (9)Remove Sickness from your body Spells
    (10)Business spell
    (11)Lottery winning numbers

    contact him on this email: godpomohspelltemple@gmail.com

  • Jasmin Victoria

    i am going to be honest…i’ve given up all of my friends bc God asked me to and i’ve dealt with a deep sorrow of loneliness that made we want to just die and not exist anymore. I’ve gotten healed from that negative feeling/emotion but i really need a friend right now. I tlk to God but im young im 21 years old and i have no friends at all. I have nobody i can talk to u about stuff or hang out with and enjoy my youth with. it’s just home, school, and church for me like that’s basically my life and that’s SAD. im sick and tired of this already like it pisses me off alot and i still get lonely…

    • Geneva Manganiello

      Hi Jasmin. I came across this blogpost this afternoon while in class and decided to scroll down to the comments and I read yours. I am 21 years old as well, and I am in my third year of college. I deal with really bad depression and anxiety, and it truly sucks. Not in any way am I trying to imply you go through what I do (or vise versa), but if you ever need someone to talk to, my email is gmanganiello16@gmail.com. I am all ears.

  • A Real God And Jesus Hater

    I really hate God and Jesus altogether since they have punished the innocent people for no reason at all.

    • Lauren Cowart

      Hi, I know how easy it is to blame God for the problems in the world. And it’s easy to turn on backs on Him when something terrible happens to us or to other people. But evil does exist in the world; sin and the corruption it causes leads to so many horrible things happening in the world for no rhyme or reason. But God can work through the pain that evil in the world has caused, and God can bring happiness and joy out of the worst of circumstances. When innocent people are hurt for no reason, that’s the time to turn to God with your questions, anger, and concerns. He wants to hear from you. And He wants to help the people you are concerned about. I know how challenging it can be to believe in God’s goodness in the face of darkness, but you should pray to Him, listen to Him, and see the beauty He can bring. And I’ll be praying for you as well.

  • anonymous

    I have two failed ivf my husband have a problem of low rapid linear progression we tried everything from homeo

    to aleopathic but failed while searching the internet I came across Dr.Bueze email buezespelltemple@gmail.com

    how his natural herbs has save so many marriages so I got in contact with him and explained my situations to

    him and he recommended his herbs for me and my husband and I bought it from him and after 3 days it worked

    perfectly well for my husband and we slept together that night and after 21 days I went for check up and I

    was confirmed pregnant.. I will recommends this great herbs of

    buezespelltemple@gmail.com to everyone that need help to get pregnant…..drbuezeherbalisthome.wordpress.com


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