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Why I’m Not Jumping Into the Gender Blender

By: Kristen Clark

I read a disturbing story recently featured in the New York Times. It was about a little boy named Alex who couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be a boy or girl.

He knew he was born a boy, but demanded that his parents let him wear dresses sometimes. He was a boy, but demanded that his parents call him a “girl” when he wanted.

He liked the idea of being half-boy-half-girl.

The article explained that Alex’s parents were conflicted by his constant desire to wear dresses and play with Barbies. His mom, Susan, was struggling to embrace her son’s feminine desires.

She decided to seek help.

Susan was quickly advised by modern psychologists and doctors to affirm Alex’s choices by encouraging him to express his unique gender desires. She listened to their advice. She let him wear dresses (in public). Play with Barbies. Prance around the house in feminine ways. Called him a girl.

Several months went by, but she was still struggling to fully embrace Alex as half-boy-half-girl. She commented, “It’s hard to put a finger on why gender identity makes such a difference to our sense of who a person is, but it does.”

Regardless of what the professionals told her, something deep inside of her just didn’t feel right when she saw her little boy wearing a dress.

That little thing she “couldn’t quite put a finger on” is something God has built inside all of us.

I shared that story about Alex with some of my family members. One outspoken family member quickly blurted, “Well why don’t the parents just say, ‘Hey Alex, you’re a boy. You’re not a girl. Let’s put away the dresses and learn how to be a man.’”

A solution like that might seem obvious to us, but it’s not that obvious to our culture anymore. We now live in a culture where parents are “counseled” to allow their children to change their gender identity at a whim.

In fact, the woman who wrote the article about little Alex boldly stated, “I would argue it’s not even ethical to say to a child, ‘This is the gender you must be.'” Wait. It’s not ethical to affirm a child’s God given gender? Not ethical?? 

Listen girls, this is the crazy kind of thinking we’re up against today.

We live in a time where gender confusion is on a massive incline.

The average person used to consider themselves either a man or a woman. Two options. No more. No less. Now, the options are endless. Here are a few of the many gender identities available today. Take your pick (or don’t).

Agender
Androgynous
Bigender
Gender Fluid
Gender Questioning
Genderqueer
Transmasculine

I could list a BUNCH more, but you get the idea.

Gender identity isn’t viewed as a simple concept anymore.

It has become an ever growing jungle of tangled vines. And the vines are growing at rapid speed.

As Christian women, we must refuse to get sucked into this crazy gender blender world. Our culture (with satan’s help) is genius at blurring God’s design and making distortion the new normal. You and I can’t allow what our culture glamorizes to seduce to us.

I refuse to jump into our culture’s gender blender.

We don’t need psychologists and doctors to explain gender to us. We have the Creator of the universe explaining things to us.

Why do you think God gave us such a detailed account of the creation of humans in Genesis 1 and 2? Because He wanted to clearly show what He created and why.

God decided to handcraft humans that would personally reflect HIS image. He wanted you and me to see a glimpse of who HE is in ourselves!

So what did God create to reflect His image? Did he created one-hundred different gender options?

No. He created the male and female. No more. No less.

In our new book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity, we talk about the fact that God created two genders on purpose. We dig into the fact that God created the male and female to reflect the character, nature and image of God. This was an intentional design.

Satan has been around since the beginning of time and he knew exactly what God was doing. Being God’s arch enemy, he hates everything that reflects God. Satan wants to mess up God’s image by distorting what the male and female reflect.

By embracing or accepting more than two genders options we completely undermine God’s intentional design.

We accept a false image of who God is.

We must, must, must stand strong against this blended mess. We can’t jump into the gender blender with the rest of our secular society.

God’s image and glory is on the line.

There’s a lot of false teaching out there and a lot of persuasive media. I challenge and encourage you to study God’s design for the male and female. Always use your Bible as the only source of truth.

Don’t buy into the lie that a person can “choose” their gender. God created us on purpose and for a purpose. Our gender identity has already been assigned by Him.

Don’t jump into the gender blender.

Embrace God’s design and refuse to accept anything except what He created. Gender is such a hot topic right now and we, as Christian girls, need to have a strong biblical understanding of God’s design.

I hope you’ll grab a copy of my new book and equip yourself with a deeper knowledge of God’s beautiful design and purpose for gender.

Let’s talk it out…

  • In what ways do believe it’s okay to embrace more than the male and female gender?
  • In what ways have movies, TV and music persuaded you that “other” gender options are normal and acceptable?
  • Are you willing to defend God’s glory and image by standing strong against our gender blender age?

PS: We’ll be hosting an 8 week LIVE webinar study this summer starting the first Wednesday in June! We will be studying topics just like THIS one, and using Girl Defined as a guide. This study is totally free, but spots are limited, so register soon if you’re interested. Hope you can join us! 

Photo Credit: www.flickr.com | Brittney Bus 

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  • Holly

    Kristen, you hit the nail on the head with this post! I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who feels this way. No matter how controversial the topic may be, keep spreading the truth for what God says it really is. I love the boldness both you and Bethany have. This society needs more girl like y’all!!! Love u guys! Isaiah 41:10!! Keep standing for truth!

    • Hey Holly! Thanks for sharing! Your encouragement really means a lot to us! :) Keep standing strong!!

  • Abigail Cotton

    Thank you for standing for the unchanging truth of God’s design and His Word in our ever-changing, twisted world!

  • Elisabeth

    As always you girls all ways do it right!Thanks for the article!! Standing for what God says is the only comment since ,and right way!! Our culture has just gotten so confused to do that the only way to keep living for what God says is true is too go extreme for his ways, the right ways!! Keep serving the Lord in your wonderful way!!

  • Jesusfreak17

    I definatly agree and I’ve never had a question about what gender I am. What exactly do you mean by standing up for it? I totally understand your point and agree with you but I’m not sure how to put it into action except by being a girl.

    • CT

      I think she means when the topic comes up in the media, or your peers mention it, don’t be swayed by their opinions but instead hold firmly to the truth about gender as mentioned in the Bible — keeping that firm foundation of truth rather than being easily persuaded by those who want to side with the world and basically defy the Bible

      • Jesusfreak17

        Okay, thanks for that insight!

  • that1Liana

    I love your blog topics! I love that you don’t hesitate to jump directly into the controversial issues and take a firm stance!

  • Elyonara Borges

    Thank you, girls for this post. I really loved it!
    Yes! I’m willing to defend God’s glory and image by standing strong against our gender blender age!

  • Grace

    I definitely agree that God has only put two genders onto the earth; male and female. It breaks my heart for a boy I babysit who has a strong famine side to him. I constantly wonder if this is some psychological disease that some people are born with but instead society is calling it a mistake in the gender. I am scared to see if the parents of this boy will notice his odd behavior and conform with society or take a stand for the gender God gave him. I am definitely praying for his family and other like him.

    • Elizabeth

      I agree that there are only 2 genders, but there’s nothing wrong with a male being somewhat feminine.I’m assuming this boy’s a child? If so, thats very common and normal. As a young girl I never wore dresses and only played with toy cars and in the mud.. now as a teenager I am a girly female who sometimes still enjoys boy-ish activities.. My teenage brother is 100% male but used to put on my moms jewelry for fun up until about age 8. Boys can have feminine qualities and interests while sticking to their gender :)

  • Elizabeth

    Good for you Kristen! What a good point… ” Being God’s arch enemy, he hates everything that reflects God. Satan wants to mess up God’s image by distorting what the male and female reflect.”

  • Gloria

    This is a bit of a sticky question, but are transgenders real?

    • Magneto Did Nothing Wrong

      Are cisgenders even real?

  • Azi

    Kristen,

    First of all, I want to say thank you for speaking your mind
    on this issue. I think that this issue of gender identification is a very
    important one.

    That said, I think that the point of the original article
    was not to promote the idea of “gender blending.” I think it was talking more
    about how individuals who have certain preferences are being labelled by others
    based on their interests and the confusion that their parents face because of
    it. You point that out splendidly, and I think it’s a valid concern.

    On the other hand, I also think that interests don’t
    necessarily correlate to sexual orientation or identification. The article does
    talk about having that “middle ground,” but I think that most of our own confusion
    comes down to what we market as female and male. The article talks about not
    batting at eye at girls who like Spider-Man toys but boys who like Barbies
    are considered much more controversial.

    And yes, I agree that you won’t always know how the child
    will grow with his/her interest (I’m speaking hypothetically; I’m not a
    parent). The article points this out as well. However, not
    all the boys were necessarily saying they wanted to be girls; they just
    happened to like girl things. I would argue that it isn’t morally wrong to like
    things marketed towards one particular gender.

    God created male and female. I agree with this.
    But can we base this solely on marketing towards a biological-based impulse? Let
    me know what you think of this; I’d like to hear your thoughts.

  • Katie

    O.o wow. Ladies, this could NOT have come at a better time. No kidding. God totally knew and lo-and-behold, the next morning, there this was in my inbox… with links to other related posts. THANK YOU for this TRUTH-FILLED, Biblical encouragement. After a few weeks on a secular campus, this was like a fresh rain on a partched soul!

  • DaphSmiles

    I really enjoyed this particular article! Especially since it is an ever-growing “hot” topic. I have a hard time grasping the whole gender blending concept. I always have felt that it was more of a psychological thing. Like if a boy is naturally a little more feminine in his likes or personalities and he looks at what society dictates as the qualities that define male and female (kids pick up on these things pretty quick) then he could feel that he is a girl because he fits those qualities better than his own gender and vise versa. However I don’t think that makes a half-boy-half-girl. He’s a boy no matter what.

    That being said, I do wonder about the rare cases when a child is born and the gender cannot be identified. It is rare as far as I know, but there are a few cases where a baby is born with like, under-developed genitalia (I guess that’s the best way to describe it) and so doctors consult with the parents and they perform surgery on the baby to correct the issue. So I guess they could screw up a gender that way.. But still.. I don’t know.. Just something I wonder about. What do you think?

    Love your blog by the way (:

  • Liera

    Not only is it against God’s wonderful creation, but it is also medically and emotionally not healthy for this gender swapping to be happening. When did it become popular to not love who you truly are? I remember growing up the theme was “love the way you were born!” Now, it is don’t love your natural self, love what you think you should be when you are 5 years old and let this decision you can’t remember dictate your life. Or, hate what you were born and be a depressed adult because you want to wear the opposite genders clothes. How shallow of our society. So these children, teens, adults, hate their true self so much, and society encourages their self loathing with the support of transgender lifestyle, that they are willing to take harmful hormonal drugs and shots, and even get surgery on their bodies! Women may forsake their ability to have children, or enjoy the wonders of breastfeeding their baby because a choice they made as a young child! A man may have grown up being taught it was “okay to experiment” and a surgery choice he made as a young confused youth results in a permanent change he may question the rest of his life. Will he in the secrets of his heart wonder “If my toddler whims had not been endulged, would I have had a different life, would I have enjoyed my natural body?” Even if a person does not believe in God, and believes in evolution they can see this goes against all nature, goes against their evolution belief, and goes against all things healthy for individuals. This gender blending also encourages unfair stereotypes of woman, it is like a slap in the face for men to want to be women. For all time, and still in most parts of the world, women are treated awfully…but the image our society has of women is high heels and mini skirts!?!? I heard on PBS Growing Up Trans, a little boy say he wanted to get hormonal treatment (and his penis cut off) so he does not get hairy like a man…so I guess all woman who have hairy legs are not really women? Have his parents not explained that pretty much every single American woman has been conditioned to shave off her hair, and that women do indeed have leg, arm, armpit, and pubic hair, even many hair around their breasts! See, he does not really even understand his own desires, he does not understand the opposite gender. I guess I, though am a mother of many children, to what he has been taught, I am not a woman because I have very naturally hairy legs! If a child was born without an eye, or with several fingers, or with a disease that disfigured them, we would love that child and as a society would encourage that child they are beautiful and unique…but, the society’s embrace gender dysphoria is telling our kids they are not born awesomely beautiful and amazing, and they can take drastic, often harmful, measures to correct what they think they don’t like about themselves. I do not hate people who have choosen to be transgender (or conditioned to become transgender from a small age), I feel sorry that they have been fed a lie that their body is not good enough. Praying for these people to have great peace in their souls and many blessing. Sad state our country is in where it is considered wrong to speak out against self loathing.

  • Cris

    I would like your opinion as to my situation. I was born a hermaphrodite, (born with both, male and female genitalia. We are as common as someone born with red hair, called a ginger. Most people are unaware of us because we usually don’t tell only those we are extremely close to about our situation we were born with.

    I am aware that as a Christian, we are to believe God has made us either male or female. I’m also aware of your opinion about gender confusion, but what is your opinion about God knowing I would be born a hermaphrodite, as our Lord has said in Jeremiah 1:5: Before I formed thee in the
    belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I
    sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

    As a Christian I would certainly welcome your advise on what I should do now that I’m an adult. I’m attracted to men and very much in love with a man. Did the Lord make me this way or is it just nature? Should I have any intimate relations with anyone or just be alone for the rest of my life? What would God have me to do and do you think he allowed me to be born this way? Please help.

    Sincerely,
    C.S. in New York, New York.

    • Jennefer

      My advice would be not to listen to anything these girls have to say, because everything they’ve said previously has been backwards and wrong. My advice would be to be YOU. Learn to love your Christian, hermaphroditic self, and to wholeheartedly love the man you’re in love with. Life is too short, and we really don’t know what comes after.

      • Jade

        Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all else, and desperately wicked – who can understand it?”. Besides that, we are all born with our sinful human nature (Psalm 51:5 “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.). Telling anyone to be THEM isn’t going to help them on their Christian journey one bit! Loving like Christ isn’t just affirming; sometimes it’s challenging! I’m not well informed enough to give an opinion on this situation but I would encourage seeking advice from respected Biblically solid teaching. And Jennefer, how can you say that “EVERYTHING” the girls on this blog has said before has been “backwards and wrong”?! If what they’ve said has been in accordance with the Bible, how can you say that?! By the way… we DO know what comes after. You’re right, life IS short… and eternity is VERY long! I sure don’t want to do whatever seems right to my fallen self, and then have all of eternity to regret that!
        Just some thoughts.
        God bless!

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  • Saltasaurus

    It is the year 2017. The world as we know it is coming to an end. I look around me. I see famine, disease, and poverty. I see thousands attempting to escape from war torn lands. I see young girls being attacked for wanting an education. I see homeless people struggling in every city. Children are dying. Cheetos are being elected as major world leaders. I stand directly above the greatest evil of all, worse than the starvation and murder and strife: The Gender Blender. As I peak over the edge of the diving board I can hardly stand to look below me. There are men wearing skinny jeans, female soldiers, people going by pronouns that make them feel comfortable. It is the most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed. There is a long cord tied around my waist. A Bible Belt, if you will. Today I will save society. Today I will end this Gender Blender. I clutch the King “Totally-One-Hundred-Percent-Heterosexual-Not-Even-A-Little-Bit-Gay” James Bible close to my chest, bounce at the end of the board one, two times, and launch myself directly into the depths of the Gender Blender.

  • TruthSeeker

    Right on. Good has a specific purpose for men and women, and when we know who we are, or culture is stronger. People constantly say the only thing we need is “love,” but they don’t get what love is. It isn’t living to affirm someone in their gender confusion, just as it’s wrong to do so for someone who had anorexia or body dysmorphic diorder. People also claim that there are much bigger problems for us to worry about than “transgenderism.” But not knowing God’s purpose for us is what causes many of the big problems in the world. Keep it up!

    • TruthSeeker

      *our, *loving, *has

  • A Christian

    Couldn’t of said it better myself. As Christians, I think it’s important to stand firm in our beliefs, especially in today’s society. You’re a “hater” if you don’t think that it’s “right”. “Blessed are those who suffer for the sake of righteousness.” Even if I have to suffer socially because I don’t agree or support it, I know the Lord is with me every step of the way. If I get slandered by my community, I know that I will spend eternity with my Savior and none of this earthly suffering will matter when I’m called Home. God’s Word is right, it’s unchanging and its constant.

    Another thing is that when transgenders “feel that they’re the opposite gender”, it’s really the enemy trying to mess them off and steer them even more off course.


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