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10 Ideas on How to do Your Single Years Well

By: Guest Blogger

I sat on my bed, the tears flowing. I’d done it again, interacted with a nice guy and wondered if it was “him.”

I got home and realized how incredibly ridiculous I had been. I felt like an utter failure at this being “content in the single years” thing. A failure at keeping my focus where it belonged.

This could have been true of me two years ago or two months ago.

Hello, my name is Moriah, I live in Illinois where it’s sometimes too cold and sometimes too hot. I have a wonderful family, a great church, and delightful friends.

There are a lot of things that contribute to making me me, but today it’s most important for you to know that I’m single and that I need Jesus.

Some days I’m not very good at being single.

It can be hard because I so badly want my own special someone. I don’t know how long I’ll be single, but I do know that I want to do well in this season.

Two years ago I penned 10 things I wanted to be as a single.

I’m happy to share this recently updated list with you today in the hopes that it encourages you. Encourages you because you aren’t alone in this journey. Encourages you because there’s so much goodness and grace in this singleness even though it’s hard.

This is my challenge to myself on this journey. If you have your own goals or lists I’d love to read them in the comments section below.

What Kind of Single I Want to Be

1. Dress well and dress your age.

Just because I don’t have a man to dress well for is no excuse for me not to put time and energy into my appearance. Dress with class and style.

2. Play with kids.

Laugh, have fun, and chase the little ones around. Don’t abandon the world of little tykes because you’re too old or you don’t want to face the pain that you don’t have any little hands of your own to hold or any little hearts that are devoted to you with their “mommy” love.

3. Be full and overflowing with joy.

Singleness is not a reason to pout. It may be difficult at times but let gratitude in Christ fill you with joy and radiate that to others – life is much bigger than yourself.

4. Listen.

Always have time to listen to others, always. Listening is something you have the flexibility to do because you don’t have a household of your own that you are responsible for. So, take the time and listen.

5. Talk to guys.

Don’t abandon the world of males because none of them have married you. Treat them like brothers not prospective mates. Be genuine, kind, and appropriate.

6. Offer your time to others.

You have flexibility, time, and energy that others with families don’t have. Volunteer someplace, help out busy moms, give of your time.

7. Minister.

Use your gifts, talents, and skills for the kingdom. You may not currently be a wife and mother as you so desired, but you still have an investment to make.

8. Believe you have a purpose.

God’s called you to live for Himself, even if it’s in a way other than you dreamed. God is using you. Know it, live it, because it’s true.

9. Continue to learn.

You’re never finished and you’re never too old. You love learning, enjoy the process. Take a class, read a book, learn from a friend, etc.

10. Love life.

Life is a gift no matter what it looks like or how it’s shaped, so savor the moments.

Wrapping it up.

We as single girls need all the encouragement we can get. What is one goal that you can set for yourself as a single? Feel free to steal any of mine.

*This guest post was written by, Moriah Ortega. You can learn more about Moriah at her website. If you’re interested in writing a guest post for us check out this page. 

Photo credit: Flicker.com | N03:16587463369

10 Ideas on How to do Your Single Years Well

 

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  • Katie

    Moriah. Omysoul. THANK YOU for this post/ the <3 heart beHIND it <3 I love the way you don't gloss over the fact that it's hard- that you admit you "don't always do the single thing well"– I love the way you put that, BTW 😉 I SUPER relate to the opening scenario. I know your list is not one of hard-and-fast rules, but of challenge and encouragement! You always hear/read posts about making lists (or the posts themselves have lists) about what you want in a future husband, how you need to be as a future wife, mom ETC… FUTURE. I've never thought about making a list for how you'd like, by God's grace, to do your single years well or better! Awesome idea/inspiration! Hugs to you sister <3 thanks for reminding us we're NOT. ALONE. 🙂

    • Moriah Mari

      Hey Katie! You absolutely aren’t alone!! I think it’s easy for us girls who are single and battling for the right focus to feel that way but know it’s not true. 🙂 I’m so glad you were encouraged! I’d love to hear one idea you have for how to spend the single years well.

      God bless you, sister!
      Moriah

  • Elizabeth Williams

    Sometimes I have to admit that I lose my focus. I can easily start focusing on poor, single me and become discontent, impatient, and start pitying myself. I don’t want my single years to be like that! When I look back someday, I want to be able to say that my single years were a very precious and invaluable time. I want to be able to say that I didn’t waste them feeling sorry for myself, but that I was content, encouraging, fun to be around, joyful, all those things. And I definitely want to use this time, while I’m not distracted by a guy, to draw closer to Christ. However, I sometimes feel that I AM distracted, as if I’m already in a relationship, because I’m thinking about THAT guy who I don’t even know yet lol

  • Liz

    Beautiful post. Just attended the wedding of a good friend, and this was exactly the reminder I needed to hear.
    I heard a quote from Joni Eareckson Tada yesterday that was hugely challenging: “Giving thanks is not a matter of feeling thankful, it’s a matter of obedience.”
    Obediently choosing thankfulness in my singleness, even when I don’t FEEL thankful. That’s my challenge.

  • Joana Mae Pongasi

    thanks for this……

  • Elizabeth

    Moriah, I love your writing style! Number 4: “Listen”. That’s something that God is teaching me to do and the reminder was perfect. Thank you for writing this post!

  • I absolutely LOVE this! Thank you!!

  • Holly 110

    My years of singleness have been an amazing gift from God. The way he has used me and what he has had me do has been more than I could have ever imagined. These things would have never happened if I had been married. Following the Lord has been the greatest adventure. I have done my best to be faithful to Him through out the years and not be too focused on wanting a husband, which is easy since there aren’t really any suitable men where I live. But a regular struggle of mine is when I do happen to meet a nice, single, christian man I always wonder if he’s the one. I wouldn’t say that means I am not content with what God has given me, but it isn’t helpful when I start thinking of possibilities. Thus far I have had little success to change this thought process.

    Lately it has been a little more difficult because I am not sure what He has for me to do specifically at this time in my life. I do know despite my many efforts and trying to discover another dream, the only specific dream of mine is to be a wife and mother. There just has not been any particular thing the Lord has put on my heart as a dream for me to pursue in the meantime. It is hard not having a specific goal to pursue, just general things like seeking the Lord leaves me feeling a little directionally lost with my employment always in question. I am starting to pray about moving to my best friends area where we could do ministry together, employment opportunities are better, and there is a significant population of available christian men. There has not been any direction yet from the Lord regarding whether or not a move is His will for me.

    • A Lee

      I encourage you to wait for the Lord! Sometimes His will isn’t exactly what makes the most sense, but it is what we need at the present time.

  • Justme

    Thank you so much for sharing!!! Is very encouraging!

  • Deranda

    Enjoying the moment. Yes, marriage and relationships are an important part of life but you must always enjoy the moment that you are in right now. See the benefits of every situation.

  • Gabrielle

    Thanks so much for this post!! While reading your first few paragraphs I thought you were talking about me. That’s how I feel too. I hate myself whenever I wonder if a particular guy is the one. One day I was telling God that I truly want to be content in this season of my life, because singleness is a gift and I want to serve Him with all my heart while I’m single. I’ve asked God to give me important things to do to keep me busy, so I can make the most of my single years. I also pray that when the time comes for me to marry and I meet the person I am totally focused on God that I never even wondered if he was the one.

    During this time I want to grow closer to God, serve Him with all my heart, give to others, make new friends, learn how to interact with cute guys without wondering :), travel, work on the books I want to write, encourage other young women (especially singles), get through high school and college, and be very content where God has me with overflowing joy and love for life, whether I’m single or not. Also, I really want to get to the place where I able to say that I’d be content whether I were to marry or be single forever. Yea, that hasn’t happened yet but I’ve been praying about that!! I strongly believe that when you’re busy doing things you won’t be so desperate and anxious for marriage, which is where I find myself. I know from experience that when you’re relationship with God is where it needs to be then God will begin to be your everything and you’ll being to be content in singleness.

    Thanks again for sharing!! I wish I could give you a big hug!! 🙂 Stay encouraged!! We’re in this together!!

    In Christ’s Love,
    Gabrielle

  • theburritohasmyheart

    this is me. Thank you so much

  • Horse Lover

    These are awesome ideas!!
    I’m still in my teen years, but a goal of mine is to go after a dream of mine. (Other than being married/having kids) As well as to really invest in younger girls lives on a personal level. 🙂


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