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3 Qualities a Guy Must Have Before You Marry Him

By: Guest Blogger

Have you ever wondered why some guys “stand-out” as solid Christian men? On the flip side, have you ever wondered why other guys behave as wimps, displaying immature and jerk-like attitudes?

I’m a guy.

Yes, I’ve seen both. Yes, I’ve experienced the immature behavior myself. Yes, young solid Christian guy leaders do still exist. And yes, they can be hard to spot at times.

Understanding Christian guy leadership has burdened me deeply.

Christian guy leaders are desperately needed.

They’re needed for the church. They’re needed for young godly Christian single girls. They’re needed to raise families. But, most importantly, they’re needed for the Gospel, for Christ’s sake.

As a Christian girl, what should you look for in guy before you marry Prince Charming?

In my experience in speaking with strong Christian husbands, fathers, and church leaders, I’ve come to observe three crucial qualities: authoritative; spiritual, and sacrificial.

1. Authoritative

If I had to pinpoint one specific area that is largely misunderstood among effective guy leadership, it’s authority. I’ve been amazed at the lack of a true understanding of Christian authority among young guys.

Strong Christian leaders speak with authority.

They know their authority comes from Christ because they submit to Christ’s authority. From this understanding comes their boast in the authority of the Gospel, compelling them to boldly encourage and lead others after the high calling of Christ.

An example of this may be a guy who knows his vision and calling the Lord has for him, and he’s confident in getting there. The Apostle Paul talked about his purpose for running the Christian race with patience and endurance. He pressed on to make the high calling in Christ Jesus his own, and he encouraged others in it (Philippians 3:14; Hebrews 12:1).

Look for a guy who truly knows, understands, and exercises his authority in Christ.

2. Spiritual

A guy’s authority in Christ is only as effective as his walk with God. Look at Moses, David, Elijah, Stephen, Paul, and Peter. All of these men walked closely with God. They were leaders. Leaders who had a strong, vibrant, spiritual walk with their Leader: God himself.

King David is a great example of spiritual leadership. He was a man after God’s own heart. The Psalms are full of his close communion with God.

Prayer. Praise. Adoration. Supplications. Intercessions. Humility.

Even after the incident with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12) and his error with numbering the children of Israel (2 Samuel 24), David’s heart had the right response with humbling himself, repenting, and seeking and imploring God’s forgiveness.

Look for a guy whose spiritual walk and “love life” with Christ is greater than his spiritual walk and “love life” with you. (Of course, a beach sunset walk together at night is pretty sweet, too. With ice cream afterwards. And a pumpkin spice chai tea as well. Just make sure he pays for it 😛 ).

3. Sacrificial

Luke 9:23 says, “And he (Jesus) said to all, ‘If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me…’” (emphasis added).

Christian leadership involves guys who are willing to sacrifice themselves daily for the sake of others. In their work. In their marriages. In raising their families. And, in their faith.

Christ is our best example of this.

He left the comforts of being with the Father and came to earth to dwell with us. Being faithfully obedient, He even died on the cross for our sins. He rose from the dead. He lived a perfect life, a life of sacrificial love each day. His example is our example.

Look for a guy who will daily give himself up for the Gospel, in laying down his life for the sake of others.

This begs the question, how can young girls be involved with encouraging and cultivating these three essential qualities in guys, especially young single guys?

Here are a few tips I’ve learned as I’ve been mentored and mentor other young guys.

#1. Pray that God would cultivate in them the qualities of Christian authority, spirituality, and self-sacrifice.

#2. Encourage guys to be mentored by solid Christian leaders and to lead/mentor others.

#3. Affirm guys when their behavior is Christ-like and encourage them to continue in that. (Yes, we need the encouragement).

Gals, as mentioned earlier, Christian guy leadership is desperately needed. You need it in a future husband. Other guys need it. And most importantly, Christ needs it for His bride, the church.

Share your thoughts! 

How about you? Which of these qualities do you think is most important? How can you encourage the guys around you? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

Meet the Author: This guest post was written by John Kraemer, a blog writer of Joysuf, a ministry which focuses on joyful living in daily suffering.

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2021 Conference
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