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3 Essential Ways of Life for Every Christian Girl

By: Kristen Clark

Several months ago I was walking through a gift shop in Estes Park, Colorado when Bethany handed me the craziest book.

“Check this out!” she said in a half-serious/half-sarcastic tone.

She handed me a small hardback book. The title read, Everything Men Know About Women.

With a title like that, I was immediately interested in finding out what the inside would reveal. I took a deep breath, put my hands on both sides of the book to gear up for what I was about to read. Then I opened the book.

To my utter shock the entire book was BLANK.

I flipped through the pages from front to back and back to front. No intro. No table of contents.

Then it hit me. This was a joke book!

It’s often said that women are so complex that men can’t figure us out. I burst into laughter and wondered how many other people had been as gullible as I had.

Although it might be true that men have a hard time figuring out women, I think women have a hard time figuring out ourselves!

Thankfully, God didn’t leave us with a blank book to figure out the purpose for our womanhood.

He went above and beyond by giving us a detailed instruction book on everything we need to know about being a Christian girl. As Bethany and I have studied God’s word over the years, we’ve discovered 3 essential ways of life for the Christian girl.

In fact, we wrote about these 3 essential areas in our upcoming book (to be released in 2016!). If you’re not sure how God wants you to live as a Christian girl today, these 3 areas will get you off to a great start.

Regardless of whether you’re single, married, have kids, or don’t, these 3 areas should be foundational in the life of every Christian girl. Here they are!

1. She Helps Others

When you or I read the Bible, we need to pay special attention to everything and anything that has to do with a woman. We need to read, ponder, and apply the lessons God is trying to teach us.

The very first time a woman enters the scene is in the book of Genesis. That’s our cue! Time to listen up! We read that God created Adam first, then handcrafted Eve using one of Adam’s ribs. Why did God choose to create Eve second? Well, God cues us in when He said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18).

Eve was created from Adam, and for Adam. She was designed to be his helper. She was created in God’s image and had the same value as Adam, but her essential purpose for existing was to “be a helper to Adam.”

We see the theme of “helping others” throughout the entire Bible.

However, note this: Being a helper isn’t only for married women. It’s essential for all girls. The Proverbs 31 woman was focused on helping her family, the Titus 2 women were encouraged to help younger women (mentor them), Esther helped all the Jewish people (saved their lives), Ruth helped her mother-in-law, and Lydia helped the early Christian church.

Helping others should be an essential way of life for you, right now, exactly where God has placed you. Whether you’re living at home, out on your own, or married, make it a habit and practice to help others.

2. She Produces Life

Growing up in a family with eight kids, I saw first hand the love and value my parents placed on “producing life.” As I grew up and studied the Bible for myself, something obvious struck me for the first time. God purposely and intentionally designed Eve (not Adam) with the capacity to get pregnant and birth a child. Adam was not given the honor of bringing new life into the world, Eve was.

This fact reveals an essential piece of information about our female design.

Like many of you know, Zack and I have been married for almost four years and God has not blessed us with kids yet (you can read my story here: When God Doesn’t Give You What You Desperately Want). I used to think that “producing life” was only possible by producing physical children. God has really opened my eyes since then.

Yes, producing physical life (babies) is essential in our design as females, however, it’s not the only kind of life God wants us to produce. Over the past few years God has taught me, through His word, that I am called to produce life whether I ever have kids or not. The same goes for you.

Whether you’re married or single, it is essential for you to produce “spiritual life.”

This looks like you mentoring younger women, investing in your sisters, praying consistently for specific people, and much more. Whether physical or spiritual, producing life is essential for the Christian girl.

And I’ll tell you, God has brought me so much contentment and joy as I strive to serve Him and fulfill my purpose as a woman in this essential area.

3. She Nurtures Relationships

This goes hand-in-hand with producing life. God not only created us with the unique ability to get pregnant, He designed us with a natural bent towards nurturing relationships.

We see this the moment a new mom so naturally cuddles with her first baby. We see this in the way most girls travel to the bathroom in packs (something guys rarely do). We see this in the fact that a girl speaks an average of 20,000 words a day while guys only average 7,000.

God has designed us with a natural bent towards communication, nurturing, loving, and building deep relationships. This doesn’t mean every woman is automatically good at this, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s essential in our design as girls.

Nurturing relationships is something we should work hard at doing.

Whether you’re married or single, God has designed you to nurture the relationships in your life today. This looks like you taking time to talk with your mom, showing gratitude to your dad, investing in your siblings, reaching out to your neighbors, befriending a lonely girl, etc.

So there you go!

Those are the 3 essential ways of life for every Christian girl.

Living out God’s design for your life shouldn’t be a confusing thing. As you study the Bible and look deeper into God’s design for the female, you will see obvious cues into how you should live.

I challenge you to write those 3 areas down and look for ways to live them out today. How can you help others today? How can you produce spiritual life today? How can you nurture relationships today?

Share with me below which of the 3 essential areas are most exciting to you and why! Also, share with me one idea on how you can apply an essential area to your life today.

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7 Responses to 3 Essential Ways of Life for Every Christian Girl

  1. Isabella Jo says:

    Wow! Not sure if I can pick a favorite! I love being able to help others. Even if it just means being a listening ear, which leads into nurturing relationships. I love the relationships I have with the girls in my life! Even though we naturally want these relationships, we still have to work for them and out effort into them. And producing life.. I just love mentoring younger girls. I love using the mistakes and struggles in my life and showing them how Gos is gracious and is there through all this. And in the end, He will be glorified!

  2. Elizabeth Williams says:

    1. She Helps Others
    I think it’s so important for EVERYONE to have a servant’s heart and always look for opportunities to serve others. Especially in a “me-first” culture that tells you to put yourself above others!

  3. Taylor says:

    #2 She Produces Life is my favorite! Recently I’ve felt God calling me to be a Mom and have a household when I am older. My dream is to get married young, start a family and have many children. I don’t know if that is what God has in store for me, so I am praying that while (no matter how long) I am in my single stage I may keep learning from my Mom how to be keep a family going, serve others consistently that I may be kept humble and love and learn from God with my whole heart. I struggle with these things constantly, but I pray that God may keep me on the right path so I may know what I need to to to become the wife God wants me to be. Kristan and Bethany – how can I keep being content with my single years if I dream of being married?

    • Elisabeth says:

      I’m with you Taylor, those are my dreams, too!!I can honestly say I spent the longest time wishing, wanting, praying(that one not as much as I should)and hopeing for this!!But do you know what God told me,In a way it was like”Child, don’t rush ahead of me, it is fine for you to want especially good things, but Never put it before me!I will give you what I see fit to give in my time and way.In know what you want and why,and it is a good thing,but you will have to what and see if it is for you.Be content with being a child while you are one and you will find my purpose best fits the different times of life I have for you!”You know the more and I think about that It makes me So Excited!!But I must always Rember to let God Lead, and Enjoy where I am or I may miss something Very Valuable!!
      So, Hang In there,Taylor, and God will answer when he’s ready!!He always makes the Best Choice

  4. Flowers says:

    This is kind of unrelated, but I wanted to ask you a question. The Bible says that husbands have authority over their wives and that men in the church have authority over women in the church, but does that mean that all men have authority over all women? For example does that mean in a business that a woman shouldn’t be a man’s boss? Or that a woman shouldn’t teach a man how to do something? Latley I am really struggling with these questions. Also, do you know any Bible passages to help me with this? Thanks Bethany and Kristen.

  5. Liz H says:

    Love this Kristen!! Producing spiritual life is such an encouraging reminder for us single gals!

  6. Elisabeth says:

    Kristian and Bethany, Do you have any tips for how a lonely girl can find,help, and hopefully be a blessing to others ?”Thanks, great post as always!!

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