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3 Truths for the Single Woman Longing for Marriage

By: Kristen Clark

I was talking to a friend recently who is single, in her mid-twenties, and regularly wondering if God has marriage in store for her future. As we chatted, she shared her struggles honestly from her heart. “It’s just so hard to keep my hope set on the Lord when I desire marriage so much. I just wish God would tell me if I’m ever going to get married or not. The unknown is so hard to endure!”

As we talked, her honesty and openness reminded me of how I often felt during my single years as well. I desperately desired marriage. I wondered if my longings would ever be fulfilled. Sometimes I just wished my interest in marriage would go away altogether.

If you’re single right now, you may be able to relate to some of those feelings. You might be wrestling with inner longings similarly to what I felt, and what my friend is feeling right now.

Of all the seasons in life, singleness is truly one of the most unique.

Unlike other seasons, there’s no definitive or guaranteed end. It’s a season with a mysterious finish line. As a result, many of us find ourselves struggling to trust God during this time in our lives. We’re tempted to believe all sorts of lies and to give into fear. We’re tempted toward manipulation. We’re tempted to view this season as one to simply “get through.”

As challenging as the season of singleness may be for some of us, we must remember this truth: God hasn’t forgotten about single people. God sees you. He loves you. He has a good plan for your life. Instead of giving into the fear, worry, anxiety, and doubt, we need to refresh our hearts with His truth.  

3 Truths for the Single Woman Longing for Marriage

TRUTH 1: Complete Satisfaction Can be Found in Christ Right Now.

Regardless of your stage of life and unfulfilled longings, Jesus offers complete satisfaction through a relationship with Him. This is key to understand. Ultimate satisfaction won’t be found in marriage because a husband can’t fulfill your deepest needs. Only Christ can. This means that your heart and soul can be fully and completely satisfied right now.

Psalm 16:8-11 says, “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Choose to set your hope on Christ. Look to Him. Pursue Him with your whole heart. As you do this, your soul will find satisfaction and peace. Right now. 

TRUTH 2: Whether You’re Single or Married Your Life’s Purpose is the Same.

Regardless of how wonderful marriage is, it isn’t your greatest purpose in life. Glorifying God is (Matthew 6:33). You were made to glorify God with your entire life. This life purpose is the same whether you’re married or single. Sure, the way you live it out will look a little different in each season, but the underlying purpose never changes.

Matthew 22:37 says, “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

When your heart’s goal changes from “I gotta get married” to “I need to glorify God right now,” it radically alters the way you live. It gives you immense purpose right now. When glorifying God becomes the bullseye for your life, your heart will be driven by that aim and your view of life will change. Regardless of how you may feel right now, singleness is an incredible season to pour your life out for God’s glory.

TRUTH 3: God is Good and Can be Fully Trusted with Your Future.

Regardless of the uncertainty of your circumstances, God goodness and sovereignty never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. If we can trust Him with our entire Salvation and forgiveness of all of our sins, surely we can trust Him with our relationship status.

Psalm 119:68 says, “You are good and do good; teach me your statutes.”

God is good and sees the bigger picture of your life. He knows what’s best for you right now. Psalm 145:9 reminds us that, “The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” You can trust in the Creator of the universe to write your love story in His perfect timing. As you wrestle in your heart, don’t push away from God, but draw near to him in the midst of your longings.

One author puts it this way, “God wants intimacy with you. Christ has done all the hard work in the cross to make it possible. All he requires is that you believe in him (John 14:1). He wants you to trust him with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5)….What you must trust God most for right now is where He means for you to draw closer to him.”

That last line is so essential to understand: “What you must trust God most for right now is where He means for you to draw closer to him.” God is using your desire for marriage as a means to draw into a deeper relationship with Him. Your longings for a husband are like arrows pointing you to toward the only source of true satisfaction. 

 As you wrestle with your unfilled longings and questions about the future, take them to God in prayer.

Pour your heart out to God and ask Him to deepen your faith and trust in Him. Get in God’s Word and renew your mind and heart with truth. As a single woman longing for marriage, you will only find lasting hope and joy when you choose to put your entire trust in Lord.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock” (Isaiah 26:3-4).

Let’s chat.

  • Which of the 3 truths do you find most challenging to embrace?
  • How has God already drawn you closer to Him during this season of singleness?

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7 Responses to 3 Truths for the Single Woman Longing for Marriage

  1. In his arms! says:

    Amen! Thank you! Kristen your ministry to girls is amazing!

  2. Shanae B says:

    Very good post, especially as we begin the holiday season with partys and family gatherings! I personally don’t struggle all that much my being single (and 30), but other people really struggle with me being single. They see it as a problem they need to fix ASAP. What is a godly way to deal with such people who don’t want to (like I am) leave that part of my life in God’s hands? I know God has unique love stories for each of us, but I feel like these people are trying to control God in this particular area. God doesn’t need their help.

    • Ruth says:

      Some people see singleness as a problem instead of a blessing. I feel ya!! I have friends who ask me, “What I’m looking for” and honestly I’m in no rush to get into a serious relationship. While I do sometimes feel lonely, I have quite a few friends who are single and we hang out a lot so it doesn’t stress me out as often as it might if I didn’t have that. Personally, the way I see it is I’d rather be in a respectful relationship than a disrespectful one. I’ve seen many friends including my sister who have married in a hurry because either someone told them to or they felt so in love that they didn’t bother to bring God into the equation. I do not want that. I really don’t want that for my life which is why I’ve become ok without a man. I trust that God is shielding me. There have been guys who I thought were perfect for me only for me to realize that they were far from what I should be seeking.

      To answer your question, I think one way would be to kindly say, “No, thanks”. Thank them for wanting what could be a very good thing but don’t pressure me. My sister was pressured and wound up in a bad situation. God could very well use your friends in a positive way so don’t dismiss them completely but also let them know you’d rather they don’t pressure you. They should respect that if they are your real friends. If they don’t respect that…sadly, it may be time to let go of their friendship. When family does this…that’s going to be exponentially harder. I’ve never had a family member pressure me necessarily unless you count my parents always asking about any guys in my life. They are protective as they should be but sometimes….their questions drive me crazy!

      You’re right that God as a unique love story for each of us and we need to listen for His leading no matter how long it takes. It’s better in the long run to be single than me in a toxic relationship or worse. I try to remember to thank God for protecting me from toxic relationships and guys who may look good on the outside but will never treat me right. Whenever I see a character on a TV show, movie or book that gets involved with the wrong guy, I thank God that I’ve never experienced abuse and pray that I never will.

      Hope that helps!

      • Shanae B says:

        This is totally my boat! 60% of the people pressuring me are related or they’re friends of the (whole) family that they might as well be relatives. A big reason people are getting worse with this is because this summer I turned 30, plus a sister and two cousins in their early or mid twenties got married (three weddings). So now everyone is “concerned for my future.” Thanks for the encouragement Ruth! 🙂

        • Ruth says:

          I have a few Christian friends who are 30 or pretty close and feel super anxious about not having a boyfriend. I get it. I’m three years away from 30 but I have so many friends 30 and over that they consider me to be the baby haha I think I only have a handful of friends under 25.

          I totally get it “being concerned” but some just take it too far. Personally, I think my parents take it too far but like I said before they are protective and rightly so. That’s a lot of weddings! haha Quite a few of my friends have gotten engaged in the past year so I get that too. It does pang my heart sometimes when I see their pictures but I try to remember that God is shielding me.

          I remember reading somewhere that said God puts his children in a protective type of bubble — we have a persona that repels those who want to take advantage of us. It’s not necessarily in the bible but I like to think that because I’m a Christian inside and out, people notice. My cousin once told me that I’m a strong woman and have the persona of someone who is sure of themselves. I don’t take nonsense. Some guys don’t like that, but I’m ok with that 😉

          I’m glad I could help! It’s hard but with God and solid friendships, we can get through anything.

  3. Malgorzata Kleczkowska says:

    It was this blog that made me realise that as a single woman I can be wholly and fully satisfied in Christ. I guess the same applies to not only marriage, but also having a boyfriend and dating. That’s what I’m struggling with – I don’t necessarily want to get married for a few years yet (I’m 19), but I do so badly wish I had a guy in my life now.

  4. Spoof Mcgoof says:

    I gave myself to jesus once,but he never called back.

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