Have you ever been left out by a friend? Have you ever felt like a certain friend wasn’t reaching out to you enough?

Unfortunately, when stuff like this happens, our natural tendency is to complain and whine about what the other person (or group of people) isn’t giving us.

We complain that they aren’t loving us enough, caring about us enough, initiating conversation with us enough, etc. Instead of doing something about it, we sit back and throw ourselves an internal pity party.

I know, because I’ve done it many times.

However, about six to eight years ago my entire perspective took a 180 degree turn. I learned one of the most valuable truths about relationships. Instead of selfishly viewing myself as the “victim” of other people’s “lack of care,” I decided to change my entire focus.

When it came to any relationship, someone had to take the first step (and the second, and third, and fourth). Instead of waiting around for someone else to take the first, I realized that I could take the first step.

Instead of waiting for the initiative, I could take the initiative.

Although this concept seems simple, it radically changed the way I viewed family, friends, neighbors, and future friends. Someone has to take the first step, so why shouldn’t it be me?

From that moment on I decided to be the initiator instead of the complainer. And guess what happened? I began building deeper friendships like never before. I began making new friends like never before. And I began to love and minister to other girls like never before.

When I took my eyes off of myself and instead focused them on other people, I was amazed at how many opportunities I had been passing by. When my focused shifted from “waiting for friends” to “initiating friends,” everything changed.

As Christian girls, we are called to take the first step.

We are called to love others. We are called to minister to other girls (Titus 2).  

Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

For the past six to eight years, I have been intentionally cultivating a heart of initiation and care for others, and I want to challenge you to do the same. Don’t wait for someone else to reach out to you…reach out to them first.

If you’re new this whole idea of being the initiator, I want to share with you 4 of my favorite ways to do this.

Here are 4 creative ways to love and minister to other girls.

1. Everyday Life.

This is the easiest and most practical way to love and minister to other girls. Simple invite a girl to join you in your everyday life. What fills your week right now? School? Sports? Church? Youth Activities? Exercising? Bible Study? Hanging out with Friends?

Think through your entire week and look for activities that would be fun to invite someone along to participate in. Initiate a relationship with that girl and invite her into your life. This is one of the simplest, and most impactful ways to initiate a relationship with a new friend (or old friend).

2. Sunday Morning.

I’ve always viewed Sunday morning as a time for fellowship and growing in the Word…but I’ve never viewed it as a prime time for ministering to others until recently. I was at a conference last week where several of the women were sharing about their Sunday morning habits. They view Sunday morning church as a prime time to show love and care for other women.

They challenged all of us to purposely arrive to church early and stay late in order to initiate conversations with others. They challenged us to look for the women/girls whom we had never met and to go up to them and meet them. Instead of viewing church as, “what’s in it for me,” we need to view it as, “how can I love others this morning.”

3. Intentional Parties.

Don’t complain about never getting invited to any parties…instead, plan your own parties! Growing up, my sisters and I would host super fun parties and game nights for every season and occasion. We would invite all sorts of different people and loved getting to know them. Our house quickly became known as the “fun” house because of our regular get togethers.

Maybe you’ve never hosted anything before…but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start now. I have a friend who hosts one game night a month and everyone looks forward to it. Don’t wait for someone else to plan something…be the initiator and use your home as a place of loving and ministering to others.

4. Coffee Dates.

Nothing can beat a one-on-one coffee date (or tea date) with a new or old friend. After you meet that new girl at church, choose to take the next step and invite her out to coffee or tea with you. Choose to be the initiator in building a friendship with her. Once there, take an interest in her life by asking her good questions that help you get to know her better.

Ask her how you can be praying for her. Show her Christ’s love through your words, actions, prayers, and  genuine interest. Wouldn’t you love if someone did that for you? So why not be that person for someone else?

Being the initiator isn’t easy at first, but it does become natural over time.

If we don’t choose to reach out to other girls, we won’t be able to show them Christ’s love very well. If we truly want to minister to others, we must choose to look outside of our selfishness and reach out. Even when it’s hard.

CHALLENGE: I want to end by challenging you to be the initiator this week.

Think of one girl that you could reach out to this week. Then, choose to love her by doing one of the 4 things I mentioned above. Once you do this challenge, come back to this post and leave me a comment below telling me what you did!!

For more on this topic, check out my post titled: 15 Fun Ideas to Help You Deepen Your Relationships.

Now, let’s chat.

• Do you view yourself as the initiator or the receiver? Why?
• Has someone ever reached out to you? What did they do and how did it make you feel?

Photo Credit: Here