4 Lies Pop Culture Is Teaching You About Sexting (FREE GIVEAWAY)

By: Kristen Clark

“I just don’t know what to do!” she said to me, with a discouraged look on her face. “One of my friends is sending nude pictures to her boyfriend and I feel like I should say something to her. I don’t think it’s a good idea…but I’m just not sure what to say!”

This is a real conversation I had with a teen girl after a Girl Defined church event. She was totally discouraged about her friend’s sexting habits, but had no idea what to say to her friend.

As much as I’d like to hide under a bushel and believe that sexting and nude-photo-sharing is rare, it’s not. One statistic revealed that close to 40% of teens engage is sending and/or receiving sexually explicit messages.

And with cell phones becoming more and more common at younger ages, this number is only going to rise.

Sadly, much of pop culture is encouraging sexting as a normal part of single life now. With the boom of erotic content in mainstream media, sending personal erotic messages is becoming the new norm.

The popular secular women’s magazine, Cosmo, said this:

“We’ve all heard what techno-alarmists say about sexting: that it’s shameful, deviant, exploitative, and just stupid. But in many ways, it’s a new genre of personalized erotica. Now, everyone is her own author and illustrator with the ability to create provocative, graphic stories for herself and her object of desire.”

If that isn’t bad enough, I found articles on Cosmo (which is geared towards young single women) with titles like, “Why Sexting Is Good for You,” and “Scientists: Sexting Is Totally Normal,” and “A Safer Way to Sext.”

With sexting being encouraged like this, it’s no wonder it’s becoming increasingly common and more accepted amongst teens and singles.

Whether you like it or not, you’re being encouraged by pop culture to view sexting as a normal and healthy activity. Here are some of the biggest lies about sexting that I’ve seen out there today.

4 Lies Pop Culture Has Taught You About Sexting:

  1. Everybody is doing it.
  2. There’s no harm in sexting.
  3. Sexting is healthy in dating relationships.
  4. Erotica is the foundation for a good romance.

Okay, first off – everybody is not doing it. Sure, 40% of teens engage in sexting, but that still leaves 60% who aren’t. When Zack and I were single, we made it through our entire relationship without ever sexting. And I know dozens of young dating couples and single Christian girls who intentionally choose not to sext.

Second, there is a lot of harm in sexting. The minute you click send, that text or image is in the hands of someone else who can do whatever they want with it. They can show it to whomever, and even post it online. Without even realizing, you could be putting yourself in the hands of an online sexual predator. Not to mention the potential blackmail that could haunt you forever.

Lastly, sexting and erotica are not healthy in dating relationships because it creates a hyper focus on sex.

Rather than getting to know each other’s personalities, character, beliefs, and interests, the couple is zeroed in on sexual attraction. Relationships that are supercharged with sexual interactions prematurely (i.e. pre-marriage), usually don’t last long because the relationship is built on nothing more than sex appeal. Once the steam dies down, the relationship dies.

As Christian girls, we need to be intentional about not getting swept up into this new cultural flow. Whether you’ve engaged in sexting or not, I hope this post will help you get past the cultural glamour, and think Biblically about this popular American pastime.

4 Reasons Sexting is Totally Against God’s Design for Single Girls:

1. Sex was Created for Marriage.

God is the author and designer of sex, and He created it to be enjoyed by married couples only within a covenant marriage. Sex without marital commitment is almost always self destructing. Since sexting is definitely a form of sexual activity, it is outside of God’s boundaries for singles.

2. Lust is Actually Sin.

Sexting is fueled by one thing – lust. Since there’s no possible way to send sexually explicit images and texts in a pure and God-honoring way, this activity should be an obvious “no” for the Christian girl. Rather than giving into our fleshly desires, God says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

3. Nudity Mocks God’s Design for Modesty.

God values modesty and purity and commands us to embrace this in our lives through our actions, attitudes, and clothing (1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 Timothy 2:9-10). Sending provocative images of yourself to a boy mocks God’s plan for us to be a reflection of Christ through modesty, humility, and purity.

4. Purity is Still a Priority to God.

Purity is obviously not encouraged in our modern culture anymore, however it’s still very relevant to God. As God’s children, we are called to “Be holy because I [Christ] am holy” (1 Peter 1:15-16). Building a deep relationship with God will ignite in us a passion for purity and holiness which will be lived out in our daily lives and activities.

As a Christian girl, it’s only going to get harder and harder to stand for God’s truth in this modern generation. Rather than getting swept away in this cultural flow, I pray you will choose to honor Christ with your life and say no to popular trends like sexting.

I pray you will cultivate a love for Jesus that drives you to live your life for His glory, no matter how counter-cultural it may be.

Let’s chat below.

  • In what ways have you been exposed to sexting and how did you handle it?
  • What other lies would you add to my list from above?
  • What other truths would you add to my list?


We are so excited to announce that the Girl Defined audiobook is now available!!! And we are even more excited to give away two free signed copies of our brand new Girl Defined audiobook.

How to win!

Here’s how you can win. Go to any of our Girl Defined social media sites (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,Pinterest) and tag one of your friends in the comments section of the image connected with this post. The more you tag the better! If you are chosen, you and your friend will each receive a signed audiobook. Winners will be announced Wednesday!

Photo Credit: Here

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  • Whew. What a topic. Thanks for tackling such hard topics. I heartily agree with everything you said.

    When that girl approached you after the conference, what DID you say to her? On a topic like this–and similar ones–if someone asks you a question that you cannot answer, how do you respond? How do you think I should respond?

    Thank you so much. Your ministry is such a blessing in my life. 🙂

  • Hailey

    I go to a public school, and even when we were in 7th grade we had girls who had to be suspended for sexting. It’s very sad because a lot of time they don’t realize the severity of their actions. I really wish people would look to see the heart and idea behind modesty, because it’s not being ashamed of your body. It’s actually respecting it and being proud of it. I think if it was taught to girls where their worth should really come from, it wouldn’t be such an issue. If girls knew that their worth only came from God and nobody else in this world, I don’t think this would be such an issue.

    Kristen and Bethany, thank you so much for your blog! It has truly changed my life. When I was lost and trying to find who I was and where my worth came from, I turned to Jesus and asked Him to show me where He wants my life to go. Low and behold, the next day I stumbled upon your blog and read your post about living out godly womanhood. Now my days are filled learning to serve the Lord in my environment and trying to be a godly woman. Even when I stumble, I know that I’m not a failure and that God still loves me the same. My worth only comes from Him now, and all I can say is thank you for being persistent with your ministry and standing strong for God when the world seems to want to stand against you.

    (p.s. Can you guys do a giveaway that doesn’t involve social media? I’m 17, and I’ve gotten rid of all my social media because I think it pulls me into worldly desires more, but I’d like to be able to take part in these giveaways as well.)

    • Lillian French

      I agree! Please to giveaways that don’t involve social media! I’m 16 and my mom is pretty strict about social media, so I don’t have any. I would love to be able to do the giveaways though!

      • Haylie

        Same, Lillian! Is there any way we you could do a giveaway where social media wasn’t the platform, Kristen and Bethany? If not I understand though 🙂

        • Celestria

          I don’t have any either! I deleted all my accounts a few years ago. I hope they can do another give away.

          • Brooke Mazyn

            Yes! I used my mom’s and I still don’t know how to figure out who won! Please Kristen and Bethany!!

        • Rachel M.

          I agree! I don’t have social media and I was super disappointed that I couldn’t be involved in the giveaway.

      • Brooke Mazyn

        Same here!

    • Faith Metz

      I totally agree. I am only on Pinterest and I can’t figure out how to tag anyone on there and it would be nice to have a giveaway hat doesn’t invlove social media.

  • Lesli Hammers

    Wow! I love that you all take on the tough topics many people want to leave in the dark! Thank you!
    I once became Facebook friends with a guy my family saw on a regular basis. I wasn’t expecting anything more than just being connected on social media. But before long, he was sending me messages asking me for “pics”. There was never any question in my mind of what to do. I told him no and that it was wrong, and that was the end of our coversation.
    I think sometimes, for christian girls, sexting starts out really small with giving in to sending suggestive pictures and then it progresses to worse and worse. Thanks again for writing on this topic!

  • Grace

    You make me curious, does this make sexting wrong in a marital relationship?

    • Wasindi

      I dont think so, you can do whatever you want with your husband, including sexting. There may be risks with phone hacking and sending the sext to the wrong person, bur still, I dont think its wrong to sext with your husband, since you´re married.

  • Anchored

    I had a friend who did this and she, after this, started to become self-harmful. After she had done this she found herself not feeling worthy and felt God hated her. Sexting brings your feeling of self-worth so low to a point of destruction. It was hard on her. Isaiah 43:18-19 is a great verse that I shared with her. If any one else is struggling with sexting, I encourage you to read it.

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