Women have not “squashed” anything. I have not seen women attempt to take the lead in relationships. I am sure this is true for some women, but in my experience, women just want to be treated like equal partners in their relationships with men. A lot of women (and men for that matter) are sick of power dynamics in general so that is why they are striving more egalitarianism in their lives. At least that’s how it is where I live. Maybe it’s different where you are? All I can say is that I have never observed what you are talking about. And if gender roles are “God designed” then I guess God must have made a huge mistake when he made me. Anytime that I’ve tried to live in accordance to traditional gender roles, by making myself smaller so men could feel bigger, it only made me miserable and my relationships suffered as a result. If that’s God’s plan then I want no part of it.

No. The problem with this worldview is that not all men are the same. And not all women are the same. Men and women are of course different some ways but there also a lot of differences within the sexes as well. My purpose in life is not going to be the same as your purpose in life. Just because we are both women does not mean we have the same purpose or the same strengths. I was created as an individual, not a stereotype.

And equality does not even mean that we have to be the same anyway. It just means that, despite our differences, we should all be afforded the same rights and opportunities and not be held back because of our differences. You don’t have to be the same to treated equally to someone else. For instance, one of the main goals of modern feminism is to bridge the pay gap between men and women, because men still get paid more than women for doing the exact same job. Does the fact that a woman is different than a man determine how much she is paid? No, of course not. People should be treated equally even if they are different. That’s where traditional gender roles have it wrong because the simple fact that women are “different” in some ways than men has meant that women have often been oppressed and treated like second-class citizens and it should not be that way. Because of traditional gender roles women have often been made to shrink themselves. All attempts towards equality are trying to address these issues and rectify them. And like I said, this has nothing to do with holding the door open for people. Everyone should be doing that, regardless of gender.

That still doesn’t make sense. If this were truly God’s design for all people then you would think that everyone would just naturally fit and follow these roles. But they don’t. Diversity and individuality are key parts of the human experience. You said yourself that there are a lot of men who would shudder at the idea of being the “head of the household” and you’re right. But maybe they shudder at it, not because they don’t want the responsibility, but because that’s just not who they are. Maybe they would rather live with a woman as an equal partner and friend rather than being her “head” and having her be his submissive helper. The idea that all women were created to be helpers is ridiculous too, since a lot of women posses strong leadership qualities. And there are men who are drawn to that. My husband certainly was. He and I co-lead our relationship together and we’be been happily married for nearly 10 years.

I really do not think it’s healthy to try to force yourself to be something that you are not. I tried to live that way and it almost wrecked me.

…No. A person needs to do what is good and healthy for them to be able to function. I tried to stick myself into the box of what I heard Christians calling biblical womanhood for years and I was so depressed. I prayed that God would change me and make me happier in my role, since it was supposedly what he wanted but nothing ever changed. I found that I was happier and healthier when I let go of what I thought I was supposed to be and just allowed myself to be who I actually was. I do not believe that God wants me to be depressed and unable to function, I believe he wants me to thrive, which I have been doing ever since I stepped out of those constrictive roles and allowed myself to just be human.

Huh, for some reason my comment is stuck in moderation. Let me try to rephrase it a bit.
I do not think you are hearing me. I did live out those “proper” roles for women. At least I tried to. I was raised to believe that there were proper ways for women to behave, based on a few bible passages. And it was very, very hard on me. I struggled a lot to be what everyone around me was saying God wanted me to be. But from that, I started to think for myself and just decided that it was better to be a happy, healthy person rather than a miserable, depressed one. I was not in a good headspace at that time and wondered if there was even a point to being alive because I didn’t feel like I was good enough…for God or anyone. Things changed when I freed myself from these so-called biblical roles. I still believe in God, but I have come to interpret the bible differently. You can think whatever you want about that. Maybe you think that I am not saved. But at this point, I don’t really care what random strangers on the internet think of me. I’m not going back to those roles. It was not good for me.

You assume that I do not “properly understand this matter.” I do. I just disagree. You remind me of a lot of the people I used to know. People I had to free myself from. They kept insisting that if I really loved God and loved Jesus that I would accept my lot in life, regardless of whether I actually wanted to or not. I couldn’t do it. My life is better without that toxicity. My relationship with God is better too.

I now understand what God wants for my life, and that’s enough. I’m done with this discussion now. Have officially had it with your pious condescension.

No, you’re wrong again. My interpretation and application of scripture is different than yours, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t apply it to my life. I have come to a new understanding of the Bible in recent years due to my own experiences and now understand that certain things are rooted in a cultural context. The Bible may be inspired by God but it has also been written and translated by men and it is certainly not the only way God speaks to us. And sometimes what is written in the Bible is not always applicable to our world as 21st century believers. The Bible explicitly states that slaves are to obey their masters, but yet I do not know a single person who thinks that slavery is okay in any way, shape, or form in our modern world. Just because something is in the Bible doesn’t mean that’s how we do it in 2016. I believe, ultimately, in the Golden Rue: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That simple commandment from Jesus goes a long way, and if you ask me, modern Christianity would be in way better shape if people actually did that instead of constantly browbeating women for not being submissive enough and casting judgement on anyone who is “different.”
Have a good day.

Again, I left you a reply, but I am stuck in moderation. Probably because I linked to another website. Just Google Rachel Held Evans and check out the blog series she did on mutuality in the Bible. There is a post called “Submission in Context: Christ and the Greco-Roman Household Codes” that should help you better understand how I interpret these things. Also, you can check out the Christians for Biblical Equality page for further information on egalitarian perspectives on Christianity. Thanks.