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5 Qualities Christian Guys Find Extremely Unattractive in Girls

By: Bethany Beal

Christian guys and non-christian guys seem to be in agreement on one thing: qualities they do not find attractive in girls.

Over the years in talking to my dad, brothers, guy friends and acquaintances, I’ve learned that there are certain qualities that guys do not find attractive or appealing in girls/women. I wanted to confirm what I’ve heard over the years, so I went to the internet and did loads of research.

I scoured blog after blog after blog and what I found seemed to perfectly line up with what I’ve heard in the past. Christian guys and non-christian guys tend to agree on the qualities they find unattractive and frankly “repelling” in girls.

The first unattractive quality seems to be very high up on the “unattractive list” for most Christian guys. Here we go:

1. Nagging

Nag, nag, nag and more nagging. What guy wants to be around a nagging girl? Not any that I’ve ever met. What exactly is nagging? According to the dictionary nagging is: “constantly harassing someone to do something.”

Guys don’t need constant “harassment” and reminders to succeed in life. They are perfectly capable of living in a successful God honoring way without our constant “reminders” and “help.”

The Bible actually warns men not to marry “nagging” women. “It is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife” (Proverbs 21:19).

2. Disrespect

Godly Christian guys do not want to feel belittled, made to look stupid in front of others, be constantly corrected or treated in a way that makes them appear dumb or ignorant. Guys (in general) have a God-given desire and need for respect.

Women absolutely need love, men absolutely need respect. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. -Emerson Eggerichs

If you want to love the guys in your life well, practice respecting them. Not to mention that will be awesome preparation for marriage and an incredible gift to your future husband.

3. Loud and Obnoxious

Confidence and surety can be beautiful qualities in girls, but confidence does not mean “volume.” When the entire restaurant can hear what you are saying it’s probably time to tone it down. Guys from every stage and age of life agreed that loud, obnoxious and boisterous girls are extremely unattractive. These actions are usually seen as the girl trying to draw attention on herself.

This quality was number one on the “unattractive list” for my younger brother. In doing additional research online I’ve found that he is not alone in his feelings.

4. Whiner

There is only one thing worse than a bunch of whiney children, a bunch of whiney women.

“We never get to do anything.”

“You’re always mean to me.”

“Why does everyone else get to have fun except for us?”

“My life stinks.”

“If I only had what you had then I’d be happy.”

On and on the whining goes. Who wants to be around a whiny girl? Not me! It’s annoying, draining, unattractive and a straight up terrible outlook on life. It’s a sign of a girl who needs a major heart makeover.

The Bible never says that “whining” is a positive quality. It actually says quite the opposite, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24)

5. Know It All

The girl who has the answers for everything, she knows it all. She does it all and she doesn’t need a guy. A “know it all” is a girl whose confidence has turned into a serious case of pride and she feels the need to express her opinion to everyone she encounters.

Christian guys appreciate a confident, well grounded, spiritually savvy girl, but not a prideful know it all. We as Christian girls need to maintain a heart of humility and teachability. We do not know everything and we shouldn’t act as if we do.

Why do we care what Christian guys find unattractive?

I didn’t write this blog to give you girls an inside scoop on what guys find unattractive so you can create a plan to catch a man. I wrote this blog because the Christian guys “unattractive list” lined up so perfectly with what the Bible has already clearly stated.

I personally found this list as a helpful reminder and a good kick-in-the-pants. It can be so easy to build ungodly habits that are seriously unattractive and rude to those around us.

I want to challenge you to look through that list of 5 and ask yourself if you are guilty of being a nagging, disrespectful, loud, whining, know it all type of girl.

Be totally honest with yourself and have a willing heart to admit your weakness.

Now is the best time to start making changes. There are countless verses that speak to each one of those negative qualities. Pick your greatest weakness and then google, “Bible verses on nagging.” Or, “Bible verses on Pride.” I guarantee you will find plenty to work with.

Make it personal…
Which of the 5 unattractive qualities do you struggle with the most? Share your thoughts with me below.


5 Qaulities Christian Guys Find Extremely Unattractive in Girls -

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47 Responses to 5 Qualities Christian Guys Find Extremely Unattractive in Girls

  1. Chelsea says:

    So, I read the unattracive quality of being loud, and my heart sank. I have a naturally loud voice that carries. Got it from mom and dad. Sometimes I’ll be talking at what I think is a normal volume, and then someone will tell me that I’m being too loud. How do I fix this? I am naturally a louder person.

    • Jesusfreak17 says:

      I totally get you, though I seem to only have this issue at my house. And only when I’m excited. Otherwise I can mumble instead and that drives my family even crazier because they know how loud I can talk! But yeah, got it from my dad. My mom doesn’t have it so it’s actually kinda funny because my mom doesn’t and so when she calls my brothers they often don’t hear her, but they hear me! 😛

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey @disqus_v4yFWAseJy:disqus I think what most Christian guys are talking about is intentionally loud and obnoxious girls. Girls who are constantly striving to get attention by being loud. Having a naturally louder voice is not a bad thing 🙂 Focus on speaking in a tone appropriate for the social setting and I think you are good to go 😉

  2. Annalysa says:

    Another great article. Would it be alright if I printed some of these out to put in my journal? I won’t sell them or anything, I’d just like to be able to refer back to them. These are so great. 🙂

  3. Jesusfreak17 says:

    I used to struggle with number 1 but I’m not sure if I do anymore. Probably a little. I just haven’t excercised it in awhile. Also number 5 and I think it annoys everyone not just guys. I almost lost a friend due to it, so I think that really helped though I may not be cured.

  4. Meredith says:

    I’d have to say maybe being a know it all. XD
    I’ve always tried carefully not to nag, whine, and be loud, or disrespectful. But I don’t know if my level of know it alling is exactly healthy right now. XD
    Could you explain further what you mean by a girl who “knows it all”?
    See, I want to be a nurse, and when friends have needed it, I give medical advice or an opinion on it (obviously I tell them that I’m not a doctor, but from my experience, this is what they may have, or here’s a home remedy that can help them feel better. That sort of thing).
    Is that bad? I don’t act like I know everything, I don’t think. I’m just smart and help people when I can.
    Idk if I’m a know it all or not.

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey Meredith, I think the “know it all” term is referring to girls who freely offer up advice regularly without being asked. Girls who have an answer for everything and a response for everyone. It is a great thing to have wisdom and advice for those around you, just make sure it’s welcomed advice and not forced on the person 🙂 Hope that helps!

  5. Tanya says:

    Do guys find quiet girls unattractive? I struggle with my shyness and quietness, even though I love to talk and I can talk a great deal when I feel comfortable around people. Or if I talk to someone new I feel more comfortable talking tet a tet. But being surrounded by people makes me quiet and reserved. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’ll never find a guy and he will never find out about the real me in a crowd of people, unless he approaches me. Prayers will be greatly appreciated.

    • Elisabeth says:

      Praying for you, I feel the same way!Bethany, what do you say?

    • Melea says:

      Oh my goodness! I feel EXACTLY the same way!!!

    • Jesusfreak17 says:

      There’s nothing wrong with being introverted. That’s the way God made you. You don’t have to go to a crowd of people to get a husband! Think about some of your friends now. How did you meet them? That’s probably similar to how you may meet your future husband. I hope this helps! Praying right now.

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey Tanya, My younger sister Ellissa has struggled without quietness and shyness for most of her life. She has had some amazing break throughs in this area and has grown so much as godly young women. She will be posting a blog on her journey of “shyness” in the next week or two. Keep an eye out for it. Being on the quiet side is not a bad thing. You just need to make sure that you are going out of your way to make people feel cared for and loved. Don’t always wait for others to talk to you, initiate conversation and ask questions that show you care. Sometimes “shyness” can be a form of pride. We use our personality type to hide behind our fears. Check your heart and ask yourself why you feel the way you do in crowds. Hope that helps 🙂

  6. Elisabeth says:

    Thanks for the post.I can definitely relate to the “know it all”.

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey Elisabeth, the Bible says “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19) The best way to work on being a “know it all” is to directly apply this verses truth to your life. Work on being 1. Quick to list. 2. Slow to speak. Those two habits would help immensely! 🙂

  7. Elizabeth Williams says:

    I would say probably nagging. This is something that God has been speaking to my heart about lately. Right now, I’m not even in a relationship. But God’s been showing me things about my relationship with my father and how that will flow over into my future marriage. So I’ve been working on how I treat my own father for now, and it’s definitely made such a difference. I pray that God would change my critical heart into a heart that’s encouraging and uplifting. When you think about it, that will be the role of me as a wife some day. I should be my husband’s biggest cheerleader, someone he can always count on to encourage him.

  8. Rebecca says:

    It’s me again and I’m still having trouble with the email. It stays the link is broken and not installed properly. I really need to email y’all.

  9. Gabrielle says:

    I agree with these.

  10. Zella :D says:

    I found many of the traits apply to both genders. Boys should turn this list of commendable traits on themselves too 🙂

  11. Jody D says:

    As a mother of three daughters (ages 19, 17, and 12)I would have to agree with your list for the most part. These unsavory characteristics are not glorifying to God nor do they show any dignity. I see a good amount of interaction among teens who identify themselves as Christian. And I’m afraid what I see in young men is that they are very ensnared by girls who demand attention. Granted, the girls are not “loud” in volume, but they interrupt others, and force themselves into the spotlight. My daughters see this and are often treated with disrespect by these girls – meaning they are the ones who are interrupted and literally elbowed out of conversations. (and no, my daughters are not ugly and awkward. They feel it is beneath them and ungodly to respond in kind) And yes, the guys give these pushy girls exactly what they want – attention. I see this behavior as shameful and prideful. I’d like to hear if any of your “resources” have noticed such attitudes among Christian girls. How do they deal with it? Of are they duped as well? Perhaps they are being “nice”? I have to say my daughters loose a lot of respect for those boys as well because they are being manipulated.

    Maybe this topic should be discussed on your blog? Just a thought.

    • Elizabeth Williams says:

      I agree that it is so annoying when guy’s give girls like that the attention they are begging for. You would think they would ignore them? When you see a guy respond to “that” girl that way, it is definitely discouraging

    • GirlDefined says:

      @Jody, I understand exactly what you are saying and have felt that way in the past as a young woman myself. From my personal experience I’ve noticed that guys who hang around and respond to ‘wild” girls tend to not be the most godly guys themselves. I personally know several young men that treat the young women around them with respect. They don’t hang around or interact regularly with loud and obnoxious girls. There are great godly guys out there that do honor and respect young women. Girls just need to choose their guy friends very very carefully. Great idea on writing a blog post about this though 🙂

  12. Catherine says:

    Good list, but if a girl is “whining” that a guy is always mean to her…. YIKES! I don’t think whining is the biggest culprit here. (She should probably leave him!)

  13. Ana Eli says:

    I can be loud sometimes… really is not intentional, and I don’t mean to draw attention to myself, but it appens that for example, when I am having fun I laugh reeeally loud or talk loud …

  14. Rachel says:

    I really agree with all of these sometimes i struggle with pride so the know it all trait is definitely I need to change.

  15. Annika Smith says:

    I don’t feel like I struggle with the first four, but I’m not certain about the fifth. I don’t think I’m prideful, but I do tend to remember everything and I like trying to start discussions about knowledge, and I my memory can make me come across as a know it all. I’ve always tried not to come across that way but I’m never sure how others perceive me.

  16. Anonymous says:

    You stepped on my toes, but it’s what I needed. Something God has shown me is that these 5 sins can hinge on each other, for eg., when I interrupt my brother to give my know-it-all answer, I am disrespecting him. But today I realized, I am not alone in these things and I am so grateful we can encourage one another!
    Thank you once again, for sharing words of life.

  17. Kaylee O'Brien says:

    These are great, and all of these are things that are unattractive in men also. Plus, they are general things everyone should avoid being like. Think about it…Nagging, Disrespect, Loud and Obnoxious, Whiner, and Know-it-all.

  18. Amaris Watje says:

    Ehhh, loud and obnoxious was a kicker for me. I am considered a “loud” person but then again I know several girls who are much louder than me… O__O

  19. Louis Noles says:

    These points are rather generic. Not only could they apply to both genders, but also any man or woman of the world wouldn’t want a partner or spouse with those scary traits.

  20. Abby says:

    This is totally disgusting and sexist… I think I may vomit. Someone who loves you should accept you for who you are.

  21. Beaver says:

    I am a good girl overall.

  22. Sarah Flood says:

    I wish this article hadn’t been framed as “what guys find unattractive”. These are annoying behaviors to most people IN people of all ages and genders, and a considerate person would work on them due to that. Too many women of all ages spend too much time turning themselves inside out worrying so much about what men find attractive that they lose themselves in the process. Be yourself; be confident; be kind. Stop worrying about whether boys find you attractive. The right one, the one that really likes you for you, will. All others can go kick rocks.

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