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5 Strategies for Living With Purpose as a Single Girl

By: Bethany Baird

Extended years of singleness seems to be a growing trend in our culture, whether we like it or not. Due to a variety of reasons, most young men and women aren’t getting married as soon as they’d like to.

As a twenty-eight-year-old single girl myself, I can relate to the struggles, sorrows, and difficulties that accompany those extra unwanted single years. Although I haven’t lived these years out perfectly, I’ve learned a few things that have been extremely beneficial to me during this time.

Whether you are single or married these tips will encourage you, or help you encourage the singles you know, to live with intention and purpose during this time.

5 strategies for living with purpose as a single girl:

1. Don’t View Singleness as an “In-Between” Stage

There have definitely been times in my own life that I’ve viewed these single years as a season to be “endured.” I viewed marriage as the good stuff and singleness as the bad stuff. I wanted the single season to end as quickly as possible so that I could move on in life and be a real and purposeful adult.

Thankfully, God has helped me to see that singleness isn’t an “in-between” season that I should endure, but an important and valuable season of life.

I want to encourage you, as a single, to embrace this season of life. God has you in this season for a reason. Don’t waste these valuable years waiting for marriage to come your way. Take advantage of the time God has given you and make the most of this season.

2. Get Out of Your Bubble of Single Friends

In our society, there is a huge push to stick with our own group of people. Teens hang with teens. College kids hang with college kids. Singles hang with singles. Married people hang with married people. Old people hang with old people. There isn’t a whole lot of encouragement to mix up the groups and spend time with people in different seasons of life.

I personally think this is a terrible mindset and one I hope never to embrace. Instead of restricting your friend groups to “singles only,” try mixing it up a bit. Spend time investing in those younger than yourself. Spend time with your grandparents or the elderly couples in your church. Spend time with young families or couples who have been married for several decades. Get outside of your normal friend groups and start investing in and benefiting from those in different seasons than yourself.

3. Choose Gratitude During This Season

Nowhere in Scripture do we see singles given a special “pass” to live in discontentment and ingratitude. God commands us to give thanks in all things, despite our circumstances. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Gratitude is a choice. It’s something that you have to choose to do, despite how you feel.

I love how Nancy Leigh Demoss puts it in her book, Choosing Gratitude. “I have learned that in every circumstance that comes my way, I can choose to respond in one of two ways: I can whine or I can worship! And I can’t worship without giving thanks. It just isn’t possible. When we choose the pathway of worship and giving thanks, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances, there is a fragrance, a radiance, that issues forth out of our lives to bless the Lord and others.”

4. Use These Single Years for God’s Glory

Single people have so much potential to make an impact for the Kingdom of God. We typically have energy, youthfulness, flexibility, and the time to be used in ways that married people can’t. Instead of twiddling our thumbs waiting for “the one” to come our way, let’s live with purpose and intention.

Let’s take advantage of this incredibly unique season and live with eternity in mind.

As I say in my book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity, “When forever comes, only the things you did for Christ will truly matter.” Let’s choose to be single men and women who truly live with that in mind.

5. Actively Look For Opportunities to Serve

There are so many needs in our churches and communities that desperately need to be met. There are young boys and girls that need godly role models and mentors. There are elderly people in need of love and companionship. There are single moms who could really use help in a million different ways. It doesn’t take long to find a need. We as singles need to start actively looking for opportunities to serve.

We need to stop waiting for God to bring opportunities to our doorsteps and start making big efforts to love and serve those God has placed around us.

I’m challenging you to be a single (or to encourage the singles you know) who lives with purpose and intention during this season. Don’t wait for the “greener grass” to come your way. Choose to live out every day for the glory of God.

I’d love to hear from you now.

Which of the 5 strategies do you most need to apply to your life right now?

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  • Esther Ty Hubbard

    Thanks for sharing! I would say #3 for me because though I’m always grateful I continue to compare myself with my married or engaged friends and hit a wall of discontentment.

  • Ruth Omle

    Thanks for this Bethany. For me it’s 4 and 5; God has helped me understand how important these months and years of singleness are. It’s not a curse, it’s rather a beautiful blessing. Being single rather opens up so much for time and opportunities for me to serve my Savior, so applying Strategies 4 and 5 (especially 5) is one my goals with each new day.
    Thanks again Bethany. God bless you!

    • ” It’s not a curse, it’s rather a beautiful blessing. ” Such an important reminder 🙂

  • Excellent tips! I especially love Tip #1. I always had this mindset of, “Once I get married, then life will REALLY begin!” But that attitude is so telling of a wrong heart attitude and a worship of marriage, guys, and people instead of God.

    Bethany and Kristen, y’all inspire me and challenge me so much. You both are such wonderful role models. Thank you!

    • Thanks for the encouraging words! And I’m so glad you were encouraged 🙂 Keep your eyes on Jesus and continue to serve Him <3 -Bethany

  • Wow, this is sure hitting the nail on the head. I treated my single years much like a train station eagerly waiting on the next train to come by and change everything. This has really opened my eyes to just what I was doing. Thank you so much! I’d already planned to use this year to seek out godly womanhood, this just makes me even more eager to do so. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me.

    • Rebekah Teravskis

      Me too! That’s my new year’s resolution. It is based on Psalm 105:4, and Psalm 86:11. I will be praying for you as you seek after what it means to be a godly woman.

    • Awesome! I’m so glad this was an eye-opener 🙂

  • Tiana

    Wow. This really hits home for me. Especially #1. I’ve been viewing my single years as just the in-between season. I’ve been just sitting back, waiting for “The One” so my life could begin. But this is an eye opener. There is so much for me as a single girl to accomplish in the Kingdom of God. Thanks for helping me realize that! ❤️

    • So glad you were encouraged and challenged!! 🙂

  • Katirose MacDougall

    #1 and #4. I totally agree with #2. Having friends in all age groups helps both you and the other person to mature so much better.

  • Michaela Miller

    “3. Choose Gratitude During This Season”
    I can apply so much, if not all of this. I’m a single mom though.
    If you could give advice via comment or a blog post about making time when everything else is busy, or tips for waking up and spending time with God before the day starts. Pretty much how to be more disciplined without praying to God like it’s a have to, instead of a want to. That’s where I am right now.

    • Hey Michaele, We have a Vlog coming out tomorrow titled, “Practical Tips for Having a Thriving Relationship with God.” I really encourage you to check it out! 🙂

      • Michaela Miller

        Thank you! I will.

  • H Snappy

    Thank you for such a beautiful post Bethany! I can completely relate to the points you mentioned. I particularly love #5, that’s something i think i really need to work on as well as #2. I never actually realized it till now, but a lot of my friends are in the same single bubble that i’m in. 🙂 i will share this post with them to also encourage them.

    • Hey! I’m so glad the blog post was helpful to you. 🙂

  • Heather Emma Marie England

    I’ve had the same problem of viewing this stage in my life as an “in-between” time, thinking my life wouldn’t truly start til I got married. I know it’s something I need to work on, so thanks for pointing it out! 🙂

  • Anna

    This was a great blog post Kristen and Bethany. Thank you for your words of advice and encouragement. I have been thinking a lot about this lately and I feel that many singles view their lives as inferior to engaged/ married people’s lives. When really this is so wrong – God loves us all equally. I think we have to get out of this mindset that people in relationships are worth more, have better lives, are happy all the time etc. If we get married it won’t make our lives perfect and we won’t become perfect people. We have to embrace the season of life we are in and worship God to the fullest. Thanks again! 🙂

  • Brooke Allen

    Such a wonderful post. It’s definitely what I need during this new year, starting a new job and a new school year. I used to be taught, before I really knew God, that I had to get married to amount to anything, that I had to have children to fulfill God’s plan for me. Now I know that “each has his (or her) own gift from God,” and that singleness is a beautiful gift to me now! I love finding a ministry that understands and connects with my life. Christ moves is such wonderful and amazing way. Thank you!

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  • Amaris Lancaster

    I really liked the second point. I’m 20 and single. I find that I really enjoy talking to the older ladies in my church. They have so much experience and so much insight. I aways find myself so encouraged and refreshed after having a good discussion with them. This Wednesday night in particular was great. Wednesday night we have a bible study/prayer session, Usually I help with a children’s class but the guy I do it with was out of town so the kids class didn’t run and I was able to sit out with my bible group. My group consists mostly of older ladies and I’m the random young one in the group. I have not been able to sit in the adults bible study for almost a whole year (Don’t get me wrong I love working with the kids, but sometimes it’s nice to hang with mature christians). It was so encouraging! After we finished we had a huge discussion about the difficulties I have trying to be a christian influence to my unsaved sisters. It had been so long since I’ve talked to people about the challenges I’m facing and here were three godly ladies interested in my life and willing to take the time to encourage me and give me advice. Afterwards they all prayed for me and I went home so thankful to God for these amazing ladies, and feeling so refreshed and ready to keep marching on.

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  • Totally agree we need people of all ages and stages of life in our friend groups!

  • Ana

    WOW!! amazing, I need to apply all of the above in my life. Thank you for great blogs.


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