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50 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get the Guy

By: Bethany Beal

For the past few years, we’ve received many emails asking for help in the area of romantic relationships.

How can I really know if he’s a solid guy? What if He’s not a Christian? How I do I know what to ask him? What topics are important to discuss? What are red flags? Am I ready for this? What if my parents don’t like him?

Those questions (and questions like them) prompted me to write the blog post, 50 Questions to Ask Before Falling In Love.

The comments that came from that blog post were encouraging.

“Excellent!!! I have been looking for something like this.”

“Thank you, Kristen and Bethany! This came at a very good time for me.”

“This post is super helpful! This was totally the perfect time for me. I really needed to hear that! Thank you, Bethany!”

Although I am thankful that many of you found the direction you were looking for, I realize that I only covered a part of what needed to be discussed.

I think that blog post was a great start, but not a solid finish.

In order to really help you prepare for a Christ-centered future of love, romance, and marriage, I think we need to take things to the next level.

That’s why I’m writing this blog as a “part 2” of sorts.

Basically, here’s what I want you to think about. If you were to go through the list of the 50 questions from, 50 Questions to Ask Before Falling In Love, how would you answer them? Would you have well thought out answers? Would you know what you believe? Would you be confident and sure to give answers? Would you be proud of your answers?

Today is all about getting you to think through and prepare for the future. I don’t want you worrying about finding the right guy, I want you focused on becoming the right woman.

That’s what these questions are going to help you do.

They are designed for you, not for the guy you are interested in (or will be interested in). They are designed as personal questions to ask yourself. I am challenging you to seriously work through this list of 50 questions and come up with solid answers for every single one.

Don’t skip any.

Read them. Pray through them. Dig deeper into them. Answer them. Search for answers for them. And use them as a launching pad to deepen your understanding of why you believe what you believe. Use them to grow in your relationship with God. Use them to help you prepare yourself to become a godly woman that a godly man would desire to marry.

Let’s get started.

Begin at the top and slowly work your way down the list. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t skip it. Take time to do some research, talk with a wiser older woman, pray and read God’s Word.

50 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get the Guy

Spiritual Questions to Ask Myself:

1. Can I clearly and fully explain the gospel?

2. How important is my relationship with Jesus?

3. What importance does and should prayer play in my life?  

4. What is my view on church involvement?

5. What does my personal quiet time look like?

6. What is my perspective on sharing the gospel?

7. Do I have regular accountability in my life? What does it look like?

8. What are the last five spiritual books I’ve read?

9. What is my favorite book in the Bible and why?  

10. Who is my spiritual hero and why?

11. Can I clearly share my testimony?

General Questions to Think Through:

12. What kind of guy do I want to be in a relationship with?

13. What do I see as my best character qualities?

14. What do I see as my weakest character qualities?

15. What does my vision of a happy family look like?

16. What motivates and excites me?

17. How would I describe a good work ethic?

18. How important is integrity? Why?

19. How would I maintain purity in our relationship?

20. What are my convictions on alcohol?

21. What are my convictions on dancing?

22. What are my convictions on modesty?

23. What are my convictions on speeding?

24. What is my ideal church to attend?

25. What is my understanding of Biblical Womanhood? Use Scripture to make your point.

26. What is my understanding of Biblical Manhood? Use Scripture to make your point.

27. Do I have any interest in working in ministry? If so, what specifically?

28. How important is entertainment in my life? (movies, TV, video games, social media, etc).

29. What are my views on health and exercise?

30. What is my perspective on finances and debt?

31. What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind one day?

Questions about the Guy:

32. What kind of man is worth getting to know?

33. What cautions or red flags should I look out for in a relationship?

34. What questions will I ask his close friends/family to help me discern his character?

35. How important is his current reputation to me?

36. What do I see as a making a great marriage?

37. What kind of guy do I typically like? Why do I like that type?

38. What kind of guy would push me closer to Christ?

39. Do I care how he treats/talks about his mom? Why?

40. What kind of guy do I see myself spending forever with?

41. What gets me most excited about a potential suitor?

42. Have I spent a sufficient amount of time praying about a potential suitor?

Questions about Myself:

43. How do I love those closest to him?  

44. What would I push a guy closer to Christ?

45. How do I treat/talk about my dad?

46. Is now a good time for me to enter into a relationship?

47. What do my actions/priorities say are important to me?

48. Am I secure in Christ or do I “need’ a guy in order to be happy?

49. How frequently do I have a personal devotional time?

50. Am I willing to do whatever it takes to grow into a godly woman?

There you have it.

50 questions to ask yourself before you get the guy.

I can’t encourage you enough to take your personal and spiritual maturity so so so seriously. Don’t just rush forward thinking, “I’ve got this!”

Take some time to consider where you are in life. Honestly, evaluate the areas you need growth in and be willing to do whatever it takes to grow in those areas.

Which questions were the hardest for you to answer?

Which question do you need the most work on?


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12 Responses to 50 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get the Guy

  1. Shanae B says:

    I was literally just reading that post the other day and was thinking we ladies should answer them ourselves! It’s always good to put questions about others up to ourselves as well, especially on an important topic as this! Relationships are a two way street. I like that you included alcohol, speeding and health and exercise among others! We definitely need to think and pray about all these things! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  2. Madison Hoadley says:

    Hey! Super cool post. And truly convicting! I know the roots in my faith are strong, but there are parts that I need to work on, such as consistently digging into the Word and such. However, what do you mean by the question about dancing? I’m not sure I understand how that fits into the subject matter! Thanks!

    • Gabriela says:

      I guess she means a seductive, flirting-at-a-party kind of dancing. The question isn’t about Ballet or Jazz or Tap or Modern dance, like on-stage performing.

    • CT says:

      This is not a popular answer, but even with tap and jazz, one must realize that both involve heavily upbeat, syncopated music with a sensual rhythm (borderline pop/rock), and much of that music does not honor God…

      • Shanae B says:

        As a musician I can tell you any ganrea of music can become dishonoring to God. Beat and rhythm only have so much to do with it. More so it’s what does the music produce in you. As in what kind of feeling or action (not always necessarily dancing) or thoughts does it produce in you and others. Basically what do you do with the music or when it plays? Then another factor (which can be a prime one) is if the music has lyrics.

  3. Hannah C says:

    Very good post and questions! It was a little intimidating reading some of them. What if though you feel forever that you’re not ready to begin a relationship? What if you can’t perfectly ever answer those questions? Does that mean you should never get married?

    • Clara says:

      Hi Hannah,
      I don’t think that’s what Bethany means at all. Read this list knowing that everyone is a work in progress. Nobody is going to be perfect by the time they get married! The purpose of this list is to evaluate our core values, our opinions on controversial issues, and to convict us to grow in our weaker areas so we can better love and help and grow with the man we marry.

  4. Sara says:

    This is very helpful and well-timed!

  5. Nikki says:

    Wow, a great way to put it! Makes me examine my own life honestly.

  6. Michelle J says:

    My goodness! Wow this is much needed!!

  7. Lola says:

    I was just wondering whether modesty only applies to women, or whether it also applies to men? it would be awesome if I can have some help. Thank you!! xx

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