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6 Girls You Definitely Don’t Want to Be

By: Bethany Beal

Alright, girls. It’s your turn.

The guys just recently received a “write up” on my blog 6 Guys You Definitely Don’t Want to Marry. It’s only fair to turn the tables and hold ourselves to the same standard.

If we as girls want to marry godly guys, or simply hope for guys to live up to a certain standard, we should expect the same character in our own lives.

Don’t drift into your future and expect Christ-like character to just flow from your life.

Becoming a God-defined woman takes serious focus and intentional effort. If you are not intentional about becoming a woman defined by the Word, you will no doubt become one of these 6 women.

If there happens to be a guy reading this blog post, I encourage you to avoid the 6 types of women below. Don’t date her, court her, or marry her. Unless she has a serious heart change, which results in life change, she is bad news for you and your future.

6 girls you definitely don’t want to be.

1. Miss Seductress

She’s the girl that claims the title, “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” She takes no care in respecting the guys around her. She secretly (or not so secretly) craves attention from guys and uses her feminine figure to get it.

Ladies, it’s time to check your heart and your wardrobe. Do you use your “seductive ways” to try and grab attention? I encourage you to read “Why Christian Girls Should be Beautiful but Not Seductive.” As Christian girls our goal should be purity, not seduction. I encourage you to make this your prayer, “Create in me a pure heart O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

2. Miss Obnoxious

She’s the woman with answers for everything. She’s really loud. She’s way too boisterous. She’s extremely insensitive. She’s always ready to give her opinion, even when it’s not wanted. The best word to describe her…obnoxious.

Miss obnoxious is a life “drainer” rather than a life “giver.” She is most concerned about her thoughts, her opinions, her voice and her way. Miss obnoxious needs to soak her mind in Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” And Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves”

3. Miss Discontent

This is the girl who is always down about something. Whether it’s her single status, job, family, church, or pet turtle, she’s always unhappy and discontent about something. Instead of choosing to give thanks in all things, she worries, cries and complains about her circumstances.

She’s a drain to be around because she’s consumed with her negative circumstances.

This girl needs to realize that she is looking to her circumstances to bring her happiness instead of to Christ. This girl needs a good dose of wisdom from Nancy Leigh Demoss,

“I have learned that in every circumstance that comes my way, I can choose to respond in one of two ways: I can whine or I can worship! And I can’t worship without giving thanks. It just isn’t possible. When we choose the pathway of worship and giving thanks, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances, there is a fragrance, a radiance, that issues forth out of our lives to bless the Lord and others.”

4. Miss Obsessed

Boys, boys, boys. She’s a boy-crazy girl and she’s not afraid to admit it. She’s obsessed with liking guys, being liked by guys and always having a guy on her mind. Guys have truly become the most important thing in her life, even above God.

Miss obsessed needs to stop and ask herself this question, “are guys more important to me than God?” If the answer is “yes” she needs some serious re-ordering of priorities in her life. The Bible makes it clear that, “You shall have no other gods before me.”

5. Miss Lazy

A girl with a narrow perspective of God and His Kingdom is usually a “miss lazy.” She has no sense of passion for the gospel and lives in a lackadaisical way. She doesn’t view her time as a gift from God and doesn’t realize that God placed her on earth, at this time in history, for a very important purpose.

This girl needs a big wake up call. She needs to remember 2 Cor. 5:20 which says, “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”

A girl with a small perspective of God will live a lazy lifestyle.

A girl with a big perspective of God will work hard because she knows she was placed on earth “for such a time as this.” 

6. Miss Unsaved

Just because she grew up in a Christian family doesn’t make her a Christian. Every girl must make the personal choice to trust in Jesus as her Savior. I love the quote, “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”

There is no better time to trust in Jesus as your personal Savior than today. Stop what you are doing and read through John 3:16-17, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

If you are unsure of your salvation, I highly encourage you to take a few minutes to watch this short video.

That’s a wrap.

As you were reading through the list, did any of the 6 strike a cord? Did you see one of those characteristics in your own life? If yes, how can you change?

Photo Credit 

Girl Looking out over ocean

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girl defined conference
Radical Purity

14 Responses to 6 Girls You Definitely Don’t Want to Be

  1. Tracey says:

    Number 2 hit so hard for me! I’m definitely loud and boisterous, and tend to accidentally make conversations ‘all about me’. Will definitely be praying hard about this!

  2. thehappygirl says:

    “Don’t drift into your future and expect Christ-like character to just flow from your life.” Ouch. That was me for the longest time! I just thought because I went to church, attended a Christian school amd had godly parents I was automatically going to be godly. Not exactly. These six girls are great reminders of who I don’t want to be. I guess I’d come closest to being Miss Discontent. I actually remember reading your article about looking for happiness in the wrong places. That was the beginning point for me realizing how unhappy I was and why. I looked to others (especially guys) to make me happy. I now realize the only way to be happy and joyful is living a Christ centered life. Great post, thanks Bethany!

    PS I recently began mentoring a young friend of mine (I’m 21 and she’s 14.) Any advice? I’m a little nervous about doing this wrong haha

  3. Winnie C. says:

    I am the obnoxious girl….
    Well at least I don’t mind equally obnoxious guys. It makes for really lively conversations!

  4. Leanne says:

    Would you also say that two saved Christian people potentially marrying need to agree politically with each other?

    • Greg says:

      if you web search “Hot, Holy, Humorous”, you’ll find the latest post (as of this writing) from J. Parker answers that question quite well (at least from the perspective of already marrieds–but it deals with the subject nicely).

      J’s blog is about biblical sexuality.

  5. JustBabs says:

    This is so helpful – some traits convicted me – by God’s grace I will change

  6. Briana Soto says:

    Number 5 really hit home. It hit right in the middle of the eyes. I woke up this morning exaughsted and wanting to do nothing but crawl under my bed covers and hide but I had to force myself to get up and I read this blog post as I was walking into school and noticed how lazy I have become not just physically but spiritually. I have lessened my time with God just so I could catch some z’s or do things that please me. But this post really let me realize I am not here for me. I am placed on this earth to glorify God and make disciples. So thank you Bethany for giving us this great post and giving me the wake up call I needed.

  7. Grace says:

    Your words are so helpful! Thank you for putting in so much time for us girls/women everywhere! Do you think you guys can make a short video or even a short blog on where you guys like to buy your clothes. I think I can speak for most girls when I say clothes shopping can be very difficult.

    • Marie says:

      I personally don’t have any one place that I like to shop for modest clothes. I only seem to find a few things every time I go shopping. But I have found that second-hand clothes, from thrift stores, yard sales, or other sales like that, can have alot of options, and sometimes I find alot of stuff at those kinds of places. And the clothes there are usually really cheap too, so that’s another plus! I hope this is helpful for you 😉

  8. Leanne says:

    What I find is that people like to dump their problems on me, and I want to show Christ’s love and kindness to them. How can I be understanding without being close to Miss Obnoxious and just giving advice? How to be a listening friend? Is there anything I can do besides just saying “I understand,” “I’m sorry” and “I’ll pray for you”? How do you truly be there for them?

  9. NotAHypocriticalChristian says:

    How can you claim to be Christian and make a list of girls on who to judge? Most of these characteristics can be associated with mental illness. This is NOT spreading the Christian message! This is spreading hatred!

    • Cappy says:


    • Lindsey Hunt says:

      She isn’t saying to judge them (she specifically calls out people on judging others in other posts), she’s saying to avoid being them. The only two here that can be associated with a mental illness are the second and third one and for the second one obviously she isn’t talking to them. Also the number of people who claim to be depressed and actually are just ungrateful teenagers is insane (I’m one of them so please don’t say I don’t understand. I DO). There’s no way a Christian who understand the gospel and knows of Jesus’s love is depressed and that’s who she’s talking to. She’s asking us to self-evaluate, which is a good thing. Twisting people’s words around is also not spreading the Christian message.

  10. lets go lesbians! says:


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