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6 Resolutions For A Better Single Life This Year

By: Bethany Baird

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve seen several trending blog posts pop up on my social media feed with titles like, “10 Ways to Make Your Marriage Thrive This Year.” Or “4 Steps to Become a Better Wife This Year.”

I see those blogs posts and I love them.

I love that married men and women are working on their marriages and striving to make this year better than the last.

To be totally honest, I’ve even read some of these blogs and they’re really good! They’ve given me some great things to work on and goals to shoot for (even as a single).

Just yesterday I saw another one of those “make your marriage better this year” blog posts and thought to myself…”Why are the married people getting all the good blog posts? What about us singles? I want to make this year better as well.”

So that’s exactly what this blog post is about. It’s our turn to set goals, work hard, and make 2016 a year to become a better single for Christ.

It’s time for us as single girls (and guys) to recognize that singleness isn’t a season to “endure” until marriage, but a season to serve God to the best of our ability.

Here are 6 resolutions for a better single life this year:

1. Don’t Complain

Complaining singles turn into complaining marrieds which turn into complaining parents. Nip that in the bud and learn to control your thoughts and words now. Focus on taking your thoughts captive and choose not to complain about your singleness (or whatever else it is that makes you unhappy).

2. Speak Words of Gratitude

I don’t know about you, but this one is convicting for me. I tend to speak a lot of words and somehow manage to leave gratitude out of them. I would love to become a more grateful single and I’m sure you would as well. Thankfulness and gratitude are attractive qualities that look good on any girl. Make it a habit to speak words of gratitude each and every day.

3. Get Outside of Yourself

As a single speaking to other singles, we need to get outside of ourselves. We need to stop being so self-focused. We need to make a huge effort this year to focus on the needs of others. God has given us this season of flexibility to focus on serving Him in ways that married women can’t. Let’s take advantage of our single status this year and choose to focus on the needs of those around us.

4. Get the Bigger Picture

Deep inside most of us have a longing to find true love and officially graduate from single to married. While that desire in and of itself is good, it can easily become a major distraction and obsession if we aren’t careful. Instead of focusing so much on “finding the one” and changing the title from Miss to Mrs., spend some time remembering the bigger picture in life – making Christ known and living for eternity. I highly *highly* recommend listening to these sermons by Francis Chan (Luke Warm and Loving It – The Purpose of Your Life). This guy gets the bigger picture and will help you get it as well. Your single life will transform into an amazing and exciting season if you’re willing to live with the eternal picture in mind.

5. Surround Yourself With Young and Old

I’m super blessed to come from a big family who loves being together. I’m constantly around super young kids and much older adults. Spending time around all ages is a great benefit, character growing process, and blessing to the single. If you have family near you, try your best to spend time with them. If not, make efforts to get involved with people outside of your “bubble” of friends. Get to know the older ladies in your church. Volunteer in the nursery. Spend time with all ages, not just other singles.

6. Commit to Growing

There is no better time to grow spiritually than right now. Make 2016 a year of learning and growing. Get some solid books and commit to read through them (Book List Here) Listen to free sermons online (You can find some great ones here). Work through a Bible study (I highly recommend this one). I can’t encourage you enough to set goals in this area. You will be amazed by how much incredible wisdom and truth there is once you start digging for it.

That’s a wrap. 6 ways to make this year a better year for yourself (and those around you).

Which one of the six areas would you like to commit to improving?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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  • Robert

    Literally the first phrase that pops up under your website link is that you’re “fighting feminism.” How is feminism in any way something you should fight? Do you not realize the basis of feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men? These are basic ideas accepted by all developed countries, including the one in which your reside. Essentially, by “fighting feminism,” you’re saying that women should be subservient to men, we should hire more men than women and pay the men more for the same work, we shouldn’t tell women they can have a job, we should value male babies more than female babies, etc. See the problem? Ironically, you also claim that women and men are “equally valuable,” which would lead anyone to assume that you support feminism. Hint: because you do. Before assuming that feminism elevates women above men please look up the definition.

    • LaQisha

      I agree, I identify strongly as a feminist and I think your constant mention of the phrase “fighting feminism” is misguided and limiting. I am a Christian but I believe wholeheartedly that men and women are equal in mind, capability, and responsibility.

  • Linda

    I saw your YouTube video about what guys look for in a Christian girl and was shocked how the men you interviewed want a woman who values marriage and motherhood. I’m not sure if I even want to be married but I do not, under any circumstances, want children. In no way do I live my life trying to please men, but I have never seen a problem in not wanting to contribute to world overpopulation. Thoughts on this?

    • L

      “Children are a heritage from the Lord; blessed is the man who has his quiver full of them.” First thing that came to mind.

  • Grace

    Why do Christians stress so heavily female modesty without mentioning male modesty? Why is it always females who are told to cover up because their bodies are sinful to men? I have never thought men are as easily stimulated as Christians make them out to be. If you’re going to tell girls not to wear bikinis, tell boys to put a shirt on at the beach.

  • Descarte

    I read a bunch of your blog posts and you talk a lot about the role of women as mothers and producing life as an essential part of womanhood. It’s also VERY POSSIBLE for women to embrace a career and treat it like her child. In many jobs in the service field, women help others (doctor, economist, epidemiologist, teacher, public service lawyer, etc.) Motherhood is BY NO MEANS the only outlet for women to show compassion for others, and really, women aren’t the only ones who should be concerned with helping others. Men have just as much to gain.

  • Rachel

    Thanks for the great post! I am planning on putting the list down in my journal as a reminder. 🙂 Keep up the good work!

  • Beth

    I’m challenged by all of these goals, but I think the ones I struggle most with are the ones about reaching out to others and growing personally. I would like to commit to the challenge in ministry to those around me, praying for others instead of self-centered thinking. I would also commit to personal growth, making daily devotions a habit, and reading deep books as frequently as I can access them. Thank you for this encouragement to do right!

    • Hey Beth, So glad you want to work on ministering to those around you. That’s awesome! Blessings <3 -Bethany

  • Great post and thanks for the encouragement, Bethany! This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. God bless!

  • Ellissa Baird

    Super great blogpost! Very convicting and encouraging!!! Thanks girl.

  • Ashton

    Kristen & Bethany— thank you so much for this post, I have been praying about all of these.
    How God has used y’all’s blog in my life (& I’m sure many others’) in so many different ways! Y’all cover all the right topics that other blogs don’t want to touch. May God bless y’all & your blog!

    I’m seeing comments about feminism. I’d like to recommend that y’all write a post or series on the real issue of feminism/why y’all are not feminists. Feminism in our culture today is so much more than equality. I grew up in a radical feminist family who wanted so much more than equality, but instead to overpower the men in their lives & raise themselves above— and I believe that’s what our culture is not telling you about feminism, to get more folks on board. That’s called propaganda. Gals, I know marriage, nor childbearing, isn’t for everyone, but both come with extreme blessings. If God calls you to them, please don’t think of it as a burden!
    Also, submission, unlike what’s commonly thought, does not mean that you let your husband boss you around, but instead support his decisions & honor his leadership. True equality for men & women is honoring God’s design to complement each other.

    Blessings!

    • Hey Ashton,

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us. We love hearing how God has used/is using the GD blog to bless others. Love it!

      Great suggestions for blog topics as well. We will definitnily take that into consideration.

      Blessings,
      Bethany

  • Hey girls! Thanks for all of your comments on the GirlDefined blog. We love the great discussion! However, we do not accept spam commenters, and those will be deleted. This particular post received 5-6 different comments posing as different people, but they were all from the name IP address. This is not acceptable and those comments will be deleted. We want this blog to be a discussion board that happens between real people who are genuinely interested in sharing their thoughts. Thanks! -The GirlDefined Team

  • Jasmine Luna

    I need to work on #1! This year, instead of whining, I’m going to praise God. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, in every moment. Even when I feel the need to complain, I will replace it with praise.

  • Lisa

    You are a blessing from God, this is everything he wanted me to hear! Thanks for letting Him use you. Xo

  • Olivia Scott

    As I write this comment, I am on my way back home from the Passion 2016 conference in Atlanta so I’m so pumped already and this just helps that excitement! 🙂 Also, Francis Chan is one of my favorite people! I just finished reading Crazy Love about a month and a half ago or so, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. One of the best books I’ve ever read for sure and life changing. I have also listened to the Lukewarm and Lovin’ It message and it was fantastic. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Bethany! Bless you. 🙂

  • Jesusfreak17

    I think I would like to pursue growth. I always am interested to look back and realize how much I’ve changed from one year to the next and I want to look back next year and be really excited about where I’ve been.

  • Personally, I really like #5. I haven’t heard it before, but I see how true it is. There’s so much to glean and learn from older, wiser women. Spending time with younger girls allows us to put into their lives. A mentor of mine told me that I need someone investing into my life, and I need to invest in other people’s lives. We’re like lakes. We need an inlet and an outlet so that the waters don’t get stagnant. Thanks for this post, Bethany!

  • This is a really good list and are all things I really could improve on. The don’t complain one in particular is something I want to work on and conquer this year, as it’s one of the character traits I struggle with most. Thanks for such an encouraging and convicting post!

  • Great list -thank you so much! These are all areas I can work on and improve. Not complaining can be tough but counteracting it with gratitude could be life-changing! My favorite one on this list is number #6. I absolutely love to learn and grow so I’m excited for all the things God will teach me this year.
    Thank you again for a wonderful post!
    Rebekah

  • Girly Ana

    Thank you so much for this post. Inspire me so much so that this year will be good deeds and great future memories.

  • Gabrielle

    Numbers 3 through 5 stood to me!!! Number 6, Commit to Growing, lines right up with what U’ve determined to do this year!! That alone will make this year a better year than last year!!! 🙂 One thing I noticed when I hang out with ones younger than me is that I sometimes have a deep desire to be a mother, so that doesn’t help me none, but I like to volunteer and help the young and old! As you said, I agree that it’s good to hang out with people of all ages! Number 4″ Get the Bigger Picture, is so important. Keeping in mind our purpose of sharing Christ with others!

  • Gabrielle

    This year I commit to serve others and get closer to God!!! Also, I’ve decided to not label myself as single, but as a Child of God, and an Ambassador for Him!! 😉

  • Yes! God has totally been dealing with me on the first two. Your habits now as a single will carry over into your marriage if you do not work on them. I have been writing five things I am thankful for every morning to try train my brain to look for things to be thankful for. This is my third month doing it and I’m amazed at all the little things I looked past before that I realize I am and should be thankful for! It’s also helped me stop my complaining (for the most part)! Now when I hear people complain or be unthankful for things, I realize how ugly it looks and sounds. I don’t want to be like that!


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