conference conference


Am I Nervous About the Wedding Night?

By: Bethany Beal

I’m a 30-year-old virgin who’s getting married in less than a month. It makes sense why so many of you keep asking me if I’m nervous about the wedding night.

Honestly, this is a pretty personal question.

You are asking me if I’m nervous about having sex with my brand new husband for the very first time. Although it’s personal, I want to answer it. I want you to know what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling.

Here goes.

I’m freaking out and totally excited!!!

I am about to enter into a covenant and commit to be the wife of my lover and bestest friend in the world. I get to commit to love this man through richer, poorer, sickness, health until death do us part.

The marriage covenant is about so much more than sex. It’s about spending the rest of our lives encouraging, challenging, loving, believing the best in, and being teammates until we die.

Once David and I get married, we will get to do with our bodies what we are committing to do with our lives. Absolutely everything.

Complete and total intimacy will be an incredible aspect of our marriage.

Am I excited about sharing my body with the man of my ever living dreams? Absolutely!

Am I excited to experience his body for the very first time? You better believe it!

Am I excited about making the words of Song of Solomon a reality in my own marriage? Yes!

Am I excited to learn how to serve my man both emotionally and physically? Oh yes!

Am I excited to celebrate the covenant of marriage through intimacy with my husband? YES!

I believe that sex, within the covenant and context of marriage, is one of the most beautiful and intimate gifts that God has given. Through the experience of being deeply intimate with someone, we (as Christians), are given a glimpse of just how deeply and intimately God longs to know us. Intimacy is simply a mere reflection of just how deeply our Savior loves us and wants us to know Him.

Although I’ve said “no” to having sex for the past 30 years, I’m about to start saying “yes.”

You see, I wasn’t saying “no” because I thought sex was bad, gross, or dirty. I was saying no because of how much I valued sex. I was saying no because I wanted to cherish and preserve it. I was saying no because I wanted to experience that deep intimacy with the man I would say “yes” to with my whole life.

Am I nervous about the wedding night? Excited. Anticipating. Freaking out. But, not really nervous.

My fiance, David, and I are both going into marriage with the expectation to love and serve the other. There are no expectations to be “super sex pros” on our honeymoon.

There are no expectations to do anything other than be together and learn to love each other.

To be honest, we’re just freaking out over the fact that we get to kiss each other and be alone behind closed doors. We’re freaking out because we get to go on an amazing vacation together. We’re freaking out because we get to spend the rest of our lives learning how to be the best lovers for each other.

I am counting down the days and can’t wait to marry my best friend.

If you want to learn more about God’s INCREDIBLE design for sex and sexuality, I encourage you to read chapter 5 “Getting to the Heart of Love, Marriage, and Sex” in our newly released book, Love Defined.

I think you will find a ton of hope, encouragement and biblical insight on this very important topic.

Feel free to ask me more questions in the comments section below.

Dav and Bethany

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2021 Conference
Radical Purity
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