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Becoming a Godly Woman Takes Focus and Determination

By: Bethany Baird

A life-changing decision needed to be made and I was the only person who could make the final call.

Deep in my heart, I knew there were only two options: God’s way or my own way.

I remember sitting with my Bible, reading the book of Proverbs, and trying to fill my mind with Biblical insight. The more I read, the more confirmed the answer became.

There was a problem though.

I didn’t like the truth or the answer I knew I needed to make. Choosing to accept the insight and wisdom I was gleaning from the Bible meant I had to make a really hard decision. One I didn’t feel like making.

Despite the fact that I was very stubborn looking on the outside, I knew exactly what I needed to do.

I was committed to following God no matter how hard.

Long ago I’d made the decision to follow God’s path and trust in His Word no matter how difficult.

In my early teen years, I had made the commitment to listen to wise counselors and trust the Bible’s teaching no matter the cost.

I had concluded that in the heat of a tough decision, I probably wouldn’t have common sense or basic logic. I knew I’d need to have outside input or else I’d make a decision totally driven by my feelings.

I’m so grateful I made the commitment to choose God’s way over mine and I’m extra grateful God gave me the grace to stick with it in a very difficult moment.

To this day my prayer continues to be “God, give me the grace to choose Your Word over my feelings.”  

When you are faced with a hard decision, will you follow God or will you follow your heart?

Sadly, many young women haven’t taken the time to think ahead and pre-decide what they will do when faced with a hard decision. Instead of thinking rationally and biblically, I’ve seen countless young women act on emotion and end up going down a path they never imagined they would.  

I want to encourage you to take some time to think ahead.

What kind of woman do you want to be 1 year from now?

5 years from now? 10 years from now? You have the ability now to set yourself up to become that woman. I encourage you to begin planning and preparing right now to become that kind of woman.

Here are just a few of the commitments that I made as a teen to set myself up for a wise and Christ-centered future.

  1. I won’t marry a guy that my parents aren’t in total support of.
  2. I won’t start a “secret” relationship with a guy.
  3. I will save my first kiss for my wedding day.
  4. I won’t communicate with a guy on a consistent basis without my parents knowing about it.
  5. I will seek outside wisdom and counsel whenever I’m faced with a difficult decision.
  6. I will seek outside accountability and welcome help from those who know me best.
  7. I will continue to be actively involved in a sound Bible-believing church.
  8. I will regularly read Christian books that challenge me to grow in my faith (at least 15 a year).

This list includes a few of my pre-determined commitments that I set in place to help me choose wisdom over my own emotional desires. My hope, as a teen girl, was to set my future self up for success.

I so wanted to honor God with my life and I knew I needed serious focus if that was going to happen.

As a now 29-year-old woman, I look back on those commitments with gratitude in my heart. I am grateful God allowed me to stay on course and become the kind of woman my teenage self-wanted to become.

If you want to prevent making unwise decisions in your future and become a godly woman, I can’t encourage you enough to think ahead. Begin writing your own list of commitments and convictions.

Pray for them, share them with a wise mentor, and start implementing them today.

Please don’t assume that you will automatically always choose the wisest, most God-honoring decisions. If you aren’t prepared ahead of time, and spiritually ready to handle hard decisions, you probably won’t naturally choose the wisest option (the pressures of our sinful hearts and influential culture are intense).

How to prepare for a God-honoring future.

I want to challenge you to create your own list of commitments. Decide now what you are willing to do and what you aren’t willing to do.

Have a vision for your future self so that when the difficult and confusing times come your way you will have a predetermined goal to shoot towards.

Keep in mind that this list isn’t “full proof.” It’s simply a goal for you to shoot toward so that you can stay on the straight and narrow. So that you can begin preparing to become that godly woman you imagine yourself to be in the future.

Will you plan for a wise future?   

Do you have specific commitments you’ve made to help set yourself up for success in the future?

What are those commitments?

How are you currently setting yourself up for success in your future?

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  • L Atkins

    Thank you for the post, I needed that. 🙂 I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what my commitments should be, and you’ve really helped to affirm that its definitely a good thing to do. I think my biggest commitments for my future self are to Honor God in everything, honor my parents, keep good relationships with my siblings, keep to my purity standards. I’m still working out what my purity standards are going to be, but I think I agree that kissing should wait. I also agree about keeping my parents in the loop and not doing anything secretive.
    Being honest is also a big thing for me because so many of the kids (girls and boys) in my age group utter lies every few sentences. Being in a huge family, I’ve learned lies always get found out eventually and it hurts to be lied to.

  • Mais

    Hi Bethany, and thank you for your insight. I think you have a lot of wisdom and these are excellent commitments, the majority of which are already a part of my lifestyle. However, what do you recommend for those girls with parents who expressly say they do NOT want to be involved in their daughter’s love life? I have asked my parents for their wisdom/insight on any guys I would date (I only do this if I consider the man could be a potential spouse), but my parents say they don’t want to get involved because this could destroy their relationship with a potential son-in-law. Their response really hurts me, and I disagree with their view point, but I need to respect them. Additionally, my parents have a difficult, even toxic relationship and I know I wouldn’t want to emulate their marriage if God ever did give me a spouse. This is a source of continual pain for me, because I haven’t seen a good example of what a godly marriage actually looks like.
    I have many godly friends whom I do seek advice from regularly, and hope to find an older, godly woman as a mentor.
    But do you have any specific suggestions for how I could go about seeking wisdom, particularly in romantic relationships, when my parents say they don’t want anything to do with my decisions?
    Thank you so much! 🙂

    • Guest

      I can relate, not that my parents are toxic, but they seem to be happier with me when I keep my problems to myself, since when I don’t they never understand and take everything the wrong way.

    • Ally

      Hi Mals, if you’re unable to get counsel from your parents, I recommend you seek out an older Christian woman from your church, maybe someone whose marriage you want to emulate. My boyfriend and I were mentored by an older couple from my church after I prayed to God to send me Christian mentors

    • tfrohlich

      Hi Mais, I can somewhat relate because I don’t really remember my parents ever being happy together and now they have been divorced for about 5 years. Plus, my Dad is not a Christian, so I reach out for advice and counsel from couples in my life that have godly marriages that I would like to emulate in the future. I would pray about who those couples be in your life. I’m sorry that you don’t feel like you can reach out to your parents. Praying for you!

    • Red

      I just said a prayer for you. What are your beliefs about dating and marriage, Mais?

  • hannah

    Off topic but can you guys pray for my friend melodee her dad died.

    • Paige

      Praying 🙂

      • hannah

        Thank you. Paige

  • hannah

    Thanks for this post I have set some goals so this is cool.

  • Krystel Lumacad

    Thanks for this post!! God bless you!

  • Leah

    Loved this post!

  • Olivia Claire

    This is great, it’s really given me some things to think about.

  • Ana

    WOW!!! Amazing.. I am currently 30 years old and never really thought about it, I want to become a Christ Centered woman. I will start my list today.

  • tfrohlich

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I haven’t ever thought of making a list of commitments before being in a relationship, but I would really like to work on that now while I’m single.

  • Red

    “As a now 29-year-old woman, I look back on those commitments with gratitude in my heart. I am grateful God allowed me to stay on course and become the kind of woman my teenage self-wanted to become.

    If you want to prevent making unwise decisions in your future and become a godly woman, I can’t encourage you enough to think ahead. Begin writing your own list of commitments and convictions”

    Bethany, I really love to read your writing. I didn’t think there were other women in the same boat as me. It’s such a big ministry just knowing you’re out there, going through the same thing. You’re bearing a burden for me. I had this thought today that I’m a lot stronger than I think I am. The waiting thing can take a toll on other areas in life, and I’m looking at myself now going “I can handle them”. We have handled a lot!

    Sorry for all the comments tonight! You aren’t alone.

    • Shanae B

      I’m 29 and in the same boat too! 🙂

      • Red

        Nice to meet you! And good job! ^_^


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