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When Boys Play Princess and Girls Play Soldier

By: Kristen Clark

Taylor Swift made a controversial comment about gender at the recent Video Music Awards.

In response to her music video that won video of the year, she stated, “There’s been a lot of discussion about this video and what it means. But I’m just happy that in 2015, we live in a world where boys can play princesses and girls can play soldiers.”

Say hello to the modern world of gender confusion. Taylor’s comments received attention in the media and one popular website responded by saying, “Right on, Taylor.”

But is she “right on?” I don’t think so.

Let’s chat about it. What do her statements actually mean? Well, traditionally, the role of a princess has always been played by a female. Right? For me, the word princess instantly brings to mind images of beautiful women in long dresses and sparkling crowns. A princess is a female.

How about soldiers?

Well, traditionally, soldiers have been military positions filled by males. The guys were the ones fighting to protect the ladies. The guys were the ones fighting on the front lines to defend their country. A soldier has been traditionally associated with masculinity and strength. Men are typically known for being soldiers.

So what was Taylor saying?

Simply this: Gender doesn’t matter. If a boy wants to act like a girl, great! If a girl wants to act like a boy, even better! Traditional gender roles are a thing of the past.

Sadly, Taylor isn’t the first person to promote this idea in our society. We live in a culture where gender roles and rules are being pushed far beyond the “traditional” limits.

Obviously Taylor Swift and many others view this as a huge success for society. But is it?

Does it really matter if boys play princesses and girls play soldiers?

Yes. It matters a TON.

Sorry Taylor, but you’re way off on this one. I’m actually sad to say, that in 2015, we live in a world where gender distinctions and values are being completely obliterated.

Here are 3 reasons gender distinctions are vitally important for our world.

1. God is the Designer.

The only person who has any authority to say what girls and boys should or shouldn’t be doing is the Designer Himself. God is the mastermind behind the invention of mankind and He had a purpose and plan for His creation.

In Genesis, God clearly created one male and one female. Did He create Adam and Eve to have the same roles and functions? No way. He created the male to be the loving leader, protector and provider, and He created the woman to be the respectful helper, nurturer and life bearer.

The male and female roles and functions were not intended to be interchangeable. A man was created a man for a reason. A woman was created a woman for a reason.

2. God’s design is best for us.

It should be an obvious sign that something isn’t working with the rising amount of gender confusion and struggle we’re seeing in our society. Maybe, just maybe, this whole gender liberation movement isn’t actually helping people find their “true” identity. Maybe it’s doing far more damage than good?

Since God is the author and designer of you, me, and Taylor Swift…guess what? He is the One who makes the rules. God designed two genders for a reason and gave us differing, but equally valuable roles to fulfill. If you want a happy, functional, and joy-filled life, you have to embrace God’s design. God’ design is for our own good. When we follow the instruction manual, life makes a whole lot more sense.  

True and lasting fulfillment only comes through God’s design.

We all want happiness. We all want fulfillment out of life. We all want purpose. The only true and permanent way to find any of these things is within God’s design. Our lost culture is searching for fulfillment and purpose in all the wrong places. They think they can rewrite the rule book and somehow everything will turn out okay. It won’t. It can’t.

We were designed to find our worth, purpose, and identity in who God made us to be. That means guys fulfilling their role as males and women fulfilling their role as females. A boy will never find lasting fulfilling through playing “girl.” A girl will never find lasting fulfillment through playing “boy.” It goes against every fiber of God’s Word. It just won’t work long term.

What does this mean for you, today?

As Christian girls, I can’t encourage you enough to base your beliefs about gender on God’s Word. Trust what God says! Believe that His design is for your own good. Obey His Word, even when you don’t feel like it.

We live in a generation that is missing it on vitally important issues. Gender is a huge one. We can’t crumble. We have to stand strong for God’s truth. We have to embrace His design for us as women and show the world how functional and fulfilling God’s ways truly are.

Will you join me in saying no to the crazy gender blender we live in? Will you join me in standing strong for God’s design?

Will you join me in fully embracing our identity as females?  

I pray you will! Our generation needs it.

What do you think? Comment below and let me know your thoughts.

  • What do you think about Taylor Swift’s comments on gender?
  • What problems could arise in our country as a result of blurring the gender lines?
  • Why do you think God created one male and one female in the beginning of time?

Photo credit: Here 

Boys wearing crowns GirlDefined.com

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  • Celtic Princess

    I think guys playing Princes and girls playing WACs can be kind of cute, especially if they’re playing it with their sisters/brothers who are being the Princesses and WWII GI’s (I have many fond memories of my brother pitching in to play the masculine roles when I was playing house when I was younger, and I returned the favor by playing board games with them), but guys playing Princesses and girls playing Soldiers feels different. A guy can pretend to be royalty and a girl can pretend to tough out a war without significantly bending gender concepts because both genders have made significant contributions to our world as it is.

    • Elisabeth

      Right, well, nice comment, but that’s not exactingly it.Girls were created to be beautiful and dainty, and Guys strong and masculine.A guy playing like that will destroy his image.And a girl never needing a guys help or advice or strength to go on, would mess up here too.At least that’s what I’ve gotten from God’s word.

      • Celtic Princess

        Hi Elizabeth,

        Thank you for your reply! Your comment was thought provoking, but I’m not sure I completely agree with you. If my tone is very confrontational, please let me know… I’m not always good at gauging others’ impression of my words, and I would like to get better at it :-). Before I continue, I want to make sure that it is understood that I was talking about boys playing Princes (as in pretending to be a Prince), not Princesses. Sometimes the e’s and s’s get carried away, and it’s easy to get those two words confused! I guess, as a side-note, my brothers usually chose to play knights rather than princes, but depending on what the situation was in our imaginary kingdom, sometimes there wasn’t a war for the knights to distinguish themselves in, or we were pretending to be siblings, and if I’m a princess, that makes him a prince…

        I believe that girls are created different from guys on purpose, but I don’t think that femininity always expresses itself in daintiness, for example, I have a good friend who is one of the most feminine girls I know, and she is a girl who I know delights in who God made her and radiates His joy and purity… She also rides an ambulance as EMT, and can throw a 15 foot alligator in the most graceful way without even messing up her hair! There is a beauty in a girl who is meek yet strong, that I fully believe God created for a certain type of man, just as there are some men who are more sensitive and created for a particular kind of girl. I feel like the confusion arises when we peg certain qualities and say that all girls must act/feel this way and all boys must act/feel this way, without leaving room for the temperaments God has given different people. When we lean too much in that direction, girls can sometimes think that because the list of ‘all girls’ qualities is not fully personified in them, maybe they weren’t meant to be a girl, rather than embracing who God made them to be… also, I don’t think that a guy pretending to be a prince will ruin his image, or a girl who wants to pretend to be a red-cross nurse or a WAC or a WAVE.

        There are definitely very different ways for guys and girls to serve their country, it takes a different tack for some girls than others. My mother was an Air-Force Officer’s wife, which meant that she spent a great deal of time while Daddy was TDY (on temporary duty assignments elsewhere) raising us by herself, which meant fixing a lot of leaky faucets and killing her own snakes. I understand how being feminine and submissive might have difficult for Mother, when she spent so much time ‘in charge’ of the house, but I feel like that is a balance which each woman must strike for herself as she (and her husband if she’s married) searches the scriptures, and her heart, before the Lord.

        Remember, Deborah went to war. Even though one could easily argue that they were in dire straits and that that wasn’t an ideal time in Israel’s history, war never is an ideal time. Everyone must determine what sacrifices they are willing to make, and everyone must look to see how they can best use the interests and talents God has given them to serve others. I firmly believe that, because of the charged atmosphere of combat, and because you are literally living in each-others space, I really don’t think that is a woman’s place, and I feel that under that kind of stress for all (not just that it would be stressful for her), she would do more harm than good. However, there are many places in the military (especially the Air Force ;-)) where a woman would be out of harm’s way and could do a lot of good if she is gifted in computer technology, people skills, education, or a number of other areas. Not everyone in the military carries a gun… in fact, Daddy used to joke that if he was ever on the news carrying a gun, the nation was in worse trouble than they could handle, because guys in information technology only shoot on the job when they’re passing a proficiency test!

        Sorry I got a bit long winded… I tend to do that when I write because the thoughts flow freely and sometimes one thought leads to another until they’re a complete essay :-). I would love to hear your thoughts on this comment if you have time. I’m always looking for iron to sharpen me. Again, if the tone of this comment is overly confrontational, please do let me know! I’m not always good at hearing how my words sound to others, especially when I can’t see your facial expressions as you read this 🙂

        <3 and blessings,
        CP

        • Gods_girlcoco

          @celtic princess Absolutely beautiful post!

          • Elisabeth

            I agree it’s was very lovely.Said with such grace and elligance.

  • Steph

    I subscribe to your blog for the sole purpose of reminding myself how closed-minded and judgemental “Christians” can be. It must be exhausting for you to be offended all of the time…just waiting for something to lecture about. You write about Christianity as if it’s a clique…HS mentality.

    • Briana Soto

      It’s not that we are close minded but simply that we obey God’s word. You have a choice to read this blog. If you don’t like what these great women of God have to say then stop reading the page. It’s not that we are close minded because Christian’s are called to love everyone but that doesn’t mean we have to accept the sin they do. Yes love them as a person but not because they changed their gender or because they chpse to love women as a woman themselves or vise versa. These girls decide to write on topics us Christians face today and like I mentioned before if you don’t like it then stop wasting your time and making your own self angry and stop reading the page. Have a nice day. God Bless you!

    • Hey Steph! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I can see why you think Christians are close minded. It may seem that way when we don’t embrace things like “gender neutrality.” However, if you think about where we’re coming from it makes total sense. We don’t view mankind as a god and final authority. We believe in the true God and seek to serve Him and obey His commands for us. Therefore we can’t embrace some of our culture’s progressive “ideas” because they go directly against God’s design. From our experience and that of many Christians, God’s ways offer lasting peace, fulfillment and joy. At large, our culture is lost, confused, depressed, and dysfunctional. If following God’s design means going against the popular grain, we’re very willing to that in order to obey Him and reap His blessings. God’s will is that all men and women would choose to serve Him and honor Him with their lives. God bless! 🙂

  • Heidi

    Amen!! This is right on! Thank you for speaking up on these subjects! God bless!

  • Kristina Miller

    Thank you for this post. I say yes to embracing our God given role! How can people have come so distorted and think we can choose our gender. God created us. We are born with male or female! To decide we will b other than what God created us to be just messes up. And brings confusion!

  • Greg

    Excellent post! The world, in their typical SOP (Standard Operating Procedure), likes to “conveniently” ignore the toxic fallout and consequences of gender blending and thumbing their nose at God (an increasingly messed up military is one of those examples).

    • Elisabeth

      I agree.

    • Gods_girlcoco

      So you are saying women messed the military up? There is nothing in the Bible that says a woman cant fight for our country. I am going into a “man’s field” because I plan to be an engineer and I have a 4.0 GPA. I am smarter than most of the guys in my major. And people like you are the reason there are so few girls in the STEM. Please, keep your sexist views to yourself.

      • Greg

        Gods_girlco, that’s not at all what I’m saying–the military is promoting homosexuality and immorality, and putting men and women in the same sleeping quarters, etc. causing all kinds of abuse and rape issues. Women have served in the military for decades–but how and where they serve is important; a very real logistical issue. There is tension between the sexes, and that affects discipline, focus, and readiness. It’s not just for safety of both men and women serving, but because of issues like strength. I respect women a great deal, but the truth is God never designed them for combat roles, unlike men. Do any amount of research on this, and you’ll find that only a very, very tiny percentage of women ever make it through boot camp because of physical strength issues required to serve in combat roles.

        This is not a put down for women at all, because men NEED women just as much as women need men for things. The problem is that the world is thumbing their nose at God and intentionally reversing God-given roles, and it’s backfiring in numerous ways.

  • Dolly

    I totally agree that men shouldn’t be trying to be women and vice versa. HOWEVER, is it wrong for women to fight in our armed forces? I really don’t think so. I have aspirations to join the Coast Guard when I am old enough. Does that mean I want to become a man? No.

    • Elisabeth

      In answer to your question, Dolly, It is a very worthy aspiration, but friendly the guys need all there focus to fight and not be side tracked by women who they have to protect.But if you wanted be a doctor or a nurse, I don’t see any thing wrong with that!!

      • Wtf

        What is wrong with you.

        • Elisabeth

          Nothing, I simply go by Bibical Principles, outdated though they may seem to you.

        • Dolly

          Though I appreciate that you took the time to comment, could we please be nice and not go all offensive. We are Christians fighting for the same cause, and we shouldn’t get separated because of silly disagreements.

      • Tyler

        there is absolutely nothing wrong with going into the coast gaurd or any service. no i do not believe that women should play men roles but the military or anything of that sort is not a ‘mans job’ just like a teacher is not a ‘womens job’. there are certain things men and women SHOULDN’T do, but this is not one of them. please think before you post something on a persons dreams. there is nothing wrong with that.

        • Gods_girlcoco

          Thank you Tyler! Your post was right on point.

        • Elisabeth

          Dear Tyler, your thoughts are very sturing and I appreciate your view,but we all have our options.You have yours and I have mine.

        • Dolly

          Tyler,
          Thank you for your comment! I think you hit the nail on the head.
          This day and age people are confused as to what is acceptable and what isn’t. Culture is telling us that you can be who you want to be, but then our pastor is telling us to be who God wants you to be.

          It gets confusing because we are with culture all day, but we are in church for an hour on Sunday.

          Although it gets hard sometimes, we have to keep doing what God wants and we have to be what God created us to be.

      • Gods_girlcoco

        Omg @Elisabeth your comment is completely wrong. Quite honestly @Dolly125:disqus You can be whatever you want to be! If you feel that thats where God wants you to go then do it! Don’t let other people’s closed minds keep you away from your destiny. There is nothing in the Bible that says you cant join the Army. 🙂 Best of luck to you. And thank you for your future service to our country. We cant be picky about who fights for our freedom.

        • Dolly

          Thank you very much for you kind words and encouragement! I do think that there needs to be a segregation between a women’s job and a man’s job, but for the CG, there is not a lot of danger, and I’m not being sent over to Afghanistan. I would just like to defend my country with the little courage I have.

          What it all comes down to ladies and gents, is that I am a women and that is what I was created to be. I am not going to give myself a buzzcut, I’m not going to wear trousers every where, and I’m not going to stop wearing make up just because I want to serve my country. If this is what God wants me to do, I will. If not, things just won’t pan out.

      • So was God wrong in making Deborah a judge in the Old testament? And letting her lead Israel into war? Or what about Jael killing the enemy’s king by battling a tent peg through his head…. Doesn’t sound super girly to me…

        • Elisabeth

          Miss we booth come from different ends of the spectrum, and interpret God’s word differently.All though it shows you must know quite a lot about God’s word if you an quote it back like that.But, though I believe you’ll find the majority of the Bible is made up of wife’s and Mother’s.Take Ruth and Ester for example, Ruth used to be highly thought of, but left all that to follow her mother in law and God blessed her by a husband in disguise.Then Ester who had always wanted a husband and prayed to the Lord often for one Hod rewarded by her becoming the wife of the king.No neither of them were wimpy and they both choose to follow God only into who God chose to lead most women and not only that, but also bless them with family’s when they obey.True, God doesn’t want use to be week and femin , but to but strong in a spiritual since, while being meek and mild and humble but laws choosing to serve him and know who we are as women while fulling every tack he gives us is what God wants from us.

          • If you look at my comment near the top of this thread you’ll see that I agree with you in many ways. There is a tendency in the bible four women to be homemakers sure, but not always. Some women are called to do things that don’t look like that at all, as I said before Deborah, Jael, Junia etc. Don’t put women in a box that states God explicitly calls four women to fit into some gender norm bc unfortunately the bible doesn’t support that. You can say that many women will find their calling in being a wife and mother… But some may find their calling to lead men into wars- and that wouldn’t be anti biblical since it happened!

          • Elisabeth

            I’m sorry, and your right, but I guess my sometimes I feel so passionate about being a wife and mother yet still wanting to follow God that I try to respond the right way but get always the fact before I do.I’m sure for some women that means as much to them as thus does to be and may have call them to.But when your life, dreams goals your Reason for living!!While trying yo make God the other is tied up in only a few words like”Honey, I love you or Mommy, things get a little fuzzy sometimes.With God’s help and other good Godly Christian Wonen encouraging me, I try to do something else with my life other then obsess over the things that really make up my life and try to do the right things with my life. Like respecting my time in life rather seeing as a deep sorrow to cry over.But thank you for your perspective it’s much appreciated, and I’ll try to be more open mind towards all of God’s plans for women even if I on’t see it.

      • Dolly

        Hi Elisabeth! Thank you for commenting. I do understand that women simply do not have enough physical and emotional strength to join something like the Navy S.E.A.L.s, however, I don’t think there is anything wrong with a women joining a less dangerous part of the military like the U.S. Coast Guard.

        While we have differing opinions, I hope you have a great day and God Bless!

        • Elisabeth

          Thanks, and You too!I’m sorry if I was infringing on your rights earlier.I guess in my family it’s still popularized about Southerbell skirts and western romances.Which are my absolute fav, and I guess that’s why I’m a little old fashioned, but I love being that way!!

          • Dolly

            I didn’t feel infringed or offended or anything. I do understand that people can have different opinions, and I’m cool with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being old- fashioned, in fact, I consider myself pretty o/f, too.

            Maybe I was a little out of line in the things I said earlier, but only because I know I have fellow Christians who can back me up or show me what’s right.

            Thank you everyone!

          • Elisabeth

            Same here.I appreciate everyone’s views and giveing me the insight that just so long as your God’s princess, you don’t have to come with a ball gown ,tiara, and Prince Charming attached .

    • Double Dukes

      Best of luck! 🙂

    • Jordan

      Hey Dolly,

      If you want to be in the Coast Guard: GO FOR IT! Being apart of the armed forces can lead to some incredible opportunities and even help you grow closer to God. I’m currently going through Air Force ROTC and it has shaped me in ways I never could have imagined. From character growth to trusting God with everything I had when I was going through Field Training. Serving in the military isn’t for everyone, but I’ve prayed about this a lot, and I truly feel that this is God’s purpose for me. So if going in the Coast Guard is something you aspire to do, don’t let any gender stereotype stop you. Talk to God about it! P.S. Two women already have gone through Army Ranger school and although it is a controversial subject still, being a Navy Seal, Army Ranger, CRO ect. might soon be an option for women too.

      -Jordan (oh and despite my gender neutral name, I am a girl btw)

      • Dolly

        Thank you for the encouragement, Jordan! I appreciate it. At this point in my life, I don’t know what God has planned for me today, tomorrow, and certainly not for the rest of my life, but I do know that He will lead me to where I’m supposed to go. God bless!

  • Elisabeth

    Pardon me, but I think Taylor Swift and Eveyone else that things like her is a Total NUT!!
    Being extremely girly myself, I Totially Swoon for the Idea’s God put into place!!What’s better then a husky , cute protective and virtuos guy!!I also absoulty Adore the princess role, It’s So Much FUN and I love it to pieces especially the pink and sparkles!!As for as I am conserved, Snowwhite and Prince Charming are my Ultimate way of living!!

  • Elaina Jones

    Sorry, but do you think that girls can’t be soldiers? And if boys want to be princesses, fine. I don’t really see why they can’t play the games they want to.

    • Shanae Butterworth

      If it’s just a game, then that’s that. However when it stops being a game, then what? That is the downfall we’re currently seeing.

      • Saltasaurus

        Then what Shanae. What is your Point Shanae. Is it the concept of girls being soldiers that you have a problem with because HOOOO BOY I have some news for you Shanae.

        • Shanae B

          Because I have a problem with kids not able to just be kids. I have a problem with when a girl grows up and joins the military and gets into a position where she’s deployed then if the people they’re fighting with win the battle and take prisoners she can and most likely will have things done to her that or more personal and audastic than what would be done to a guy. Regardless of how strong and capable she is. Because boys need to become men. Not fearful, pathetic, or manipulated to anger and abousive behavior.

          • Saltasaurus

            So if something happens to a woman in the military is that. is that her fault? Because she joined the military as a woman? Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re sorta giving off a victim-blame-y vibe here. Also can you clarify how playing princess makes boys grow up “fearful and pathetic?” Was there a study on that or???

            -sincerely someone who’s mom and several aunts and female cousins were/are in the military

          • Shanae B

            I’m talking about that the woman could get raped or more likely far worse if captured while in combat level (regardless of her physical strength). I have many relatives in the military also and (regardless of how you feel or thought) I don’t disregard it for people. For the boys my statement goes way beyond playing princess. I’m sorry you “don’t get it.” You seem to have a real problem with people. You probably need to do some soul/God searching, and become more knowledgeable about many things before further commenting on a topic like this!

          • Saltasaurus

            You know what would be a lot easier than soul searching? Actually answering any of my questions, Shanae. Trying to back up an unclear thesis with no more clarification than “it goes way beyond that” would get you points off on a middle school level essay, just saying. And please enlighten me, what problems with people do I have? Which people do I have problems with? “You have problems with people” is a pretty vague statement. Also, how much more knowledgeable about which things do I have to get to stop having these problems with people? You should be able to help a poor troubled person like myself, with how wise and knowledgeable about so many things you are, Shanae.

          • Shanae B

            You act like you have a problem with all people. And my “answering” your questions in a way you can understand would require me to write a book or two. There are unfortunately some things very biblical wrong with the Catholic Church that would also take a very long time to get into. You’re being trained in feminism to feel and think as low as you already do. I’m sorry for you and hope God reveals truth to you some day.

  • Hristi

    You guys rip on TS a lot….

    • Hey Hristi, thanks for stopping by. We don’t intent to “rip” on Taylor… But because she’s an extremely popular “star” and highly influential, we like to help Christians girls process and think through what she says. Make sense? Taylor is embracing a lot of anti-Biblical views and it’s worth exploring those every now and then. 🙂

  • Tyler

    Hi! I totally yet where you’re coming from. But let me see if I get this.What I am seeing from this article is your saying that genders need to follow stereotypes. I see no problem with a girl going into a military or navy service or doing a ‘manly type job’ when they get older. I also don’t see any problem with a guy having a girl dominated job. There are certain things that I totally don’t agree with a man/woman doing. But if a man wants to be a teacher (a job dominated by females) or if a girl wants to go into the service (aa job dominated by males) I don’t see a problem. Forgive me if I am taking this out of context or am not completely understanding what you’re saying. If you get a chance elaborate. Thanks. God bless

  • Evelyn

    Hey 🙂 I think that a lot of the people who have become gender confused (even some close friends of mine) are that way because of the recent attention the media has given gender fluidity. They see some traits in themselves that are stereotypical of the other gender (such as liking pink) and assume that they must be the other gender. A lot of it is probably confusion or a trend. Kudos to you galls for responding to the more negative comments with kindness and support. God Bless!

  • CT

    Thank you so much for writing on this! We must always remember that God’s design comes first. And when it comes to any area of Christianity, we must trace things down to the root and ask ourselves, did this new trend in the culture arise because we want to be closer to God, or because we want to “free” ourselves (i.e. toss God out of the picture). And I definitely think that whoever or whatever group of people or the culture decided to initiate this new trend did NOT do it out of a desire to point to God, but rather away. I don’t see why else it would be. Bethany and Kristen, I see where you’re coming from. The surface level may be princesses and soldiers, but the underlying issue is the gender change movement and the REASON for that. I am one hundred percent certain that the reason is anything but to honor God. Trying to take control of our own gender mines away the marvelous design that our heavenly Creator wrote for us even before our life began. It is saying that we know better than God. Since when were we smarter than the All-Powerful? Did we make the world with our own hands? Do we control when the sun rises and sets? Do we have any control over hurricanes and thunderstorms? It’s even hard for us to tame some animals! From here, I can clearly see how magnificent our God wrote His plan for us as humans and it is saddening how we as a culture want less and less to do with Him. Those of you with me here, let us stand to defend what God has said is and will be. Let us glorify Him with our choices and point to Jesus, who died in our place to rescue us from our sins and bring us into a relationship with Himself, the King of Kings!

  • Erica

    I just would like to say that the writer is not saying women cannot be soldiers. They are going off of how God designed man to be protective and women to take care of domestic situations. Women can be in he armed forces but the writers were using an analogy that is very to the point and makes sense.

  • Gods_girlcoco

    Elisabeth,
    Thank you for your classy answer to my post. As I reread some of my post, I realized I probably could have been a little more classy myself. It just I am extremely passionate about female equality and things of that nature. Because I am an Engineering major and there are very few females in this field, I have experienced a lot of sexism such as guys saying I shouldn’t be in this major because I am a girl or that I get good grades because the male professor have pity on me. Because of these experiences, anytime I see a comment like Greg’s it brings back the pain, discomfort, discouragement, and shame that those experiences and comments caused.

    • Elisabeth

      Your welcome and I can understand your struggle.I’m sorry if I was also harsh on any one the first time, it’s just that all my life the only thing I’ve wanted was to ride off into the sunset with my on and only Prince Charming and then spend our life together raising a large family!!Which was the exact opposite of what I’ve had all my life,loneliness, only child, never a very interesting life my closet friend was the television screen.Though, even since I’ve let God back into my life and repented of my sins,God’s really helping and helped me Chang and now my life dies have some purpose and excitement in, but there still to things that never change.I don’t have the one my soul loves to make me laugh, to cry on his shoulder and to tell me I’m pretty or a baby to hold and take care of and children to teach.So, that’s why I acted harshly,maybe it’s just my personality, but I never want any one to be as lonely as I’ve been or to cry because the couples on tv have a better life then you do.God’s been a great source of comfort to me, but I’ll Never truely be whole Untill I have what I’m lacking.I just get frustrated when I hear women say things like a career is better then family, because lonelyness might do to you what it’s done to me.What I need I can’t get from a job or a colledge degree , only God can give that to me.So, if your not as needy as I am, more power to yea!!But I think everyone needs that specuL some one by there side where the now it or not.

      • Taytay

        Elisabeth, I just want to encourage you. I’m sorry you’re lonely and hurting, but happy to hear you have some purpose and excitement now! You said that you’ll never truly be whole until you have what you’re lacking. Please know that no husband or child will ever make you whole. Though you are lacking them, they will never fill the void. Only Jesus can. That’s not a cliche, that’s absolute truth. So right now, use your spare time to talk to Him and read His Word. Get to know Him so well that you look forward to spending time with Him and expect Him to make you happy. I’d highly encourage you to read GirlDefined’s post: “Is being a woman more than getting married and having babies?” God bless you!

        • Elisabeth

          Thank you, and I did read it, it helped my some, and I do care about God’s Word, but nothing can ever take the place of that void Untill it happens!!Thank you though for your very sweet advice.

          • Taytay

            You’re welcome! I’m glad that post helped you out.

        • Elisabeth

          Thank do much for your sweet comment!!

  • Good may have created us male and female but gender stereotypes He did not create. The bible doesn’t list out male and female traits, or an exact definition of femininity and masculinity. Yes, there is a tendency for men to go to war and women to stay home but even in the bible that’s not always true. Deborah was a boss, well actually a judge, and lead Israel into war. Jael killed the enemy’s king by nailing a tent peg through his head! Junia was listed as one of the apostles of the early church (a position usually held by men but not always). And study Joan of arc and tell me she wasn’t lead by the Lord to lead the French army… Queen Elizabeth the first helped bring about the protestant reformation and lead England as a ruler without a husband and had a significant impact on Christianity today and it’s moving away from Catholicism. All of these women showed great leadership and held stereotypically male dominated jobs.

    • Elisabeth

      I’m very impressed by your statement Elizabeth K!You must have done a lot of research!!Yes, these are women we can be proud of, but count out guys completely, they are necessary yea know!!Why without them we’d never have any fairy tales to look up too.

  • Tyra

    I do think that the gender confusion in society today is a problem. There is a difference between men and women and it is there because it is supposed to be there. However I think your way of addressing it in this article is completely wrong. Children can play whatever they want, that is not a problem. I don’t think anyone should try to tell children what they can and can’t play (as long as it’s innocent), neither radical feminists telling boys to play with girly toys and girls with boy toys nor people like you telling boys to not play with girly toys and girls not to play with boy toys. Children play with whatever they want to play with and that has in itself nothing to do with gender confusion. It’s when society tells girls who like playing with boy toys that they are boys, that’s where the problem starts. I do think it’s important to be clear about there being differences between men and women, but I think that first and foremost we are all people. People created with unique personalities and interest combinations. And as long as I’m aware and secure in that I am a girl I can be a soldier or work with a construction company or be a stay-at-home mum or whatever else I feel the Lord has called me to do. God has created us as men and women, but as far as I know it never says anywhere in the Bible that women can’t be soldiers or that men can be stay-at-home dads and it certainly doesn’t say anything about how children should play.

  • Marie

    I think. Alot of the confusion from this article is because of the terms chosen – “soldier” and “princess”. At first glance it might seem like ts choose a perfect comparison (keep in mind that I have no idea how she came up with the choice in words; if she was improvising then I can understand) but think about it: a princess has to be a girl and a soldier can be either girl or boy. If a boy was a princess he would actually be a prince. The thing is that each of us thinks of each of the words in one of a few different ways. Princess could be thought of as a female member of the royal family, a girly girl, a fun girly character to dress up as, or a figurative role that in the past has always been played by women, or just a girl in general. A soldier could be thought of as a male soldier, a female sodier, or a figurative role that has always been played by men, or just a boy in general. So I think before adressing this issue we must first understand how the terms are meant. I believe that ts meant soldier as in boys in general and princess as in girls general. Therefore I think she was saying that guys and girls can switch between their God-given roles. This is what’s wrong. This is what the author of this post was trying to say. This really isn’t about whether or not girls should join the military or not (though that is a good topic to discuss) but rather it is about whether or not people should go against God’s design for their life. Perhaps you think that a girl joining the military is wrong or perhaps you highly commend it. The real matter is that we should be doing what God wants us to. In my opinion it is more important that our heart is in the right place rather than following a stict set of rules. I don’t think we will ever know precisly the difference between male and female roles this side of heaven, in this fallen world, but we can strive to do our best to honor God. Its like modesty: We don’t really know what God’s exact standards of modesty are (if there are any) but we can honor him by doing what we believe is modest. The issue here, my friends, is what’s in our hearts. Out actions will follow what is in our hearts, for a bad tree won’t produce good fruit.

    Please comment!!!
    I would like to see what the rest of you think about this. Whether you totally agree or disagree, please say so!
    Thank you, and bless you all 🙂

    • Cappy

      That was a fantastic way of looking at it.

  • Guest

    I am a Christian woman who has been struggling with some of these issues as it relates to Justice and Mercy. Not decieving one another, not dressing like the opposite gender and the proper use of procreation is the boundary. The Bible is to be taken line upon line and preept upon precept, not cherry picked. The Bible gives boundaries that are not to be moved yet we are not given explicitly every detail of how to carry out some concepts. I think one reason why we are not given details comes down to the concept of control. God set the boundary but he gives us some responsibility of control. These things reveal the hearts of mankind/ womankind. First I would like to say that I am a layperson who has studied the Bible enough to know that I know little and even what I think I know could be wrong. I think believers are doing their best to seek the truth and apply it to our lives the best we can with the light we receive. A child is immature and innocent but grows and matures so does the portion of light we receive. While we were yet his enemy, the Father sent the So not to condemn the world but to save it. Jesus admonished the pharasees for bowing to the letter of the law and ignoring the heart of the law. Justice, Mercy, Good Faith! Without His boundaries there is no True Freedom. We want Freedom and Wholeness in society within His boundaries which were set because He Loves us as a good father loves his child. A Loving father corrects the child with his justice tempered by mercy according to the age and maturity of the child. Some children in this present world are fatherless/ motherless and their parent/s may/ may not be present or mature. When both parents work outside the home, the caretakers hired may/ may not be mature or even hold the same values. We do the best we can not to be deceived in these matters. If a child plays in mud he definitely will not come out of it clean. The parent washes the child and does not let the other children get dirty thus creating more work (it still can happen). If the child is sick or injured the parent attends to it to induce healing and avoids getting others around sick or injured (sometimes still happens). Our response to these issues we face today matter. I have had people who almost destroyed the values I was teaching my child. As long as God sees fit to give these people breath of life the opportunity exists for change. I’m still trying to work out my response. Should people be left without food, shelter, unprotected, or the means to provide for themselves? Matthew 23:4 For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s Shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. Luke 11:46 and He said Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! For you lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers. I honestly don’t see myself as a worthy judge but I’m prayerfully studying the book of James right now for guidance on the matter. This is not easy to deal with for me because I care for these particular people as well as people in general. Again I wish to say I am no expert on scripture or interpretation. God said he didn’t want anyone lost, not even one. Sincerely praying through this burden placed upon my heart.

  • Emmanuelle Harris

    “It is no good saying: ‘You are a little girl and therefore you ought to like dolls’; if the answer is,’But I don’t,” there is no more to be said.” (Dorothy Sayers, “Are Women Human”)

    I dislike the fact that many Christians feel as though it is threatening for people to have their own varying tastes, likes, and dislikes. I did not enjoy dolls and princesses as a child, but I am very secure in my identity as a woman. My brother enjoyed playing dress up with my sister, but he is very secure in his identity as a man. Neither of us was trying to smash gender norms at the age of five; it was all based on personal preference, who we were (and are now) as people. Isn’t who I am as a unique person much more important than the traditional ideals of what is masculine and what is feminine?

  • Saltasaurus

    Because you know, how dare people do what makes them happy. A piece of junk between your legs should define you as a person.

    • Sydney

      And we should be proud of them. They’re just saying the roles were traditionally filled by men. Face it, guys were created to be stronger than girls and to be women’s protectors. SOME women might be stronger than SOME men, but men and women were built totally differently and a lady just can’t have the same capacities that a man can. It would take a lady a lot more work to get as strong as a guy could get in a shorter time. It’s the way we were created.

      • Sydney

        Edit: I’m not saying that men and women are not equal. We are all equal, valuable, and amazingly different!

  • OrangeGirl

    Meh. If a boy wants to be a queen, let him. If a girl wants to be a soldier, let her. Live and et live. If someone’s actions benefit the world, who really cares?

  • Julia

    I know I’m super late, but I have a few questions. I was born a female and I like doing girly things, like wearing dresses and playing with makeup; but I also like doing boyish things: roughhousing, wearing boyish clothes, and I even like to try to walk and sit like a guy because it makes me feel strong and masculine. I like feeling masculine and feminine at the same time. I’m still very much a girl and I have no plans on changing my gender to wear guy clothes, but is it okay for girls to act masculine? Why or why not?
    Please help.
    P.S. please no flames, just advice.

    • Brittania

      Hi. I have similar things. I strongly believe our bio genders are our inner genders. Saying this. . .I believe all girls are different. . .and gender ideals are lies. the letters spelling Ideals mixed up spell sad lie. Women are considered to be passive, weak, and etc. But in the Bible women like Deborah and Esther were brave and strong.

      I like to feel and prove myself strong and brave. . .”unusal”. . .for a woman. Because there are only 2 genders. . .that means there are lots of different individuals. Jesus did NOT FIT the ideals of Manhood back in His day. (talked to women, talked to children, gentle, didn’t fight back. . .etc.) So just ask Jesus. . .to help you be the girl He made you to be and not what any denomination, blog, friend, or church says.


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