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Breaking Free From the Beauty Comparison Trap

By: Bethany Baird

Like little girls my sweet friend and I sat on the floor with our legs crisscrossed and dreamed about her soon-to-be-marriage.

As the giggles and squeals slowly wore off, I asked my friend if she was ready to share all of herself and her life with another person.

With a thoughtful look on her face, she went on to explain that although she was really excited, there were definitely some inner fears she was having to work through.

She went on to openly and honestly share about her struggles with comparison.

“It’s hard to not compare myself to the magazines cover models and the perfect images I see on social media,” she explained.

Although my friend totally understands where true beauty is found (and said her fiance in no way compares her to anyone else), she admitted that she’s still tempted to compare.

Isn’t it amazing how we, as Christian girls, still get caught up in comparison game even though we understand what God has to say about our worth as women?

I am so incredibly guilty of this comparison trap at times.

Whenever I take my eyes off of God’s standard for my beauty as a woman and lock my focus on what the world has to say, I get discouraged at my lack of perfection.

One tiny pimple or bad hair day, and I fail to match up to the “perfect standard” I’ve subconsciously placed upon myself.

I’ve noticed that the less time I spend browsing “perfect” images of other women’s “perfect” lives, the less I struggle (oh the curse and blessing of modern media).

I know that Satan wants me (and you) to believe that our beauty is skin deep. That our worth, as women, is only as good as best hair day.

My only hope in this battle of comparison and perfection is to get back to the basics.

To get back to what I know the truth of God’s Word says.  

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well (Psalm 139:13-14).

That verse is a great reminder of some foundational truths. Truths we often ignore, forget, or rush past in hopes of something better.

This verse reminds me that God is my Designer. He created me exactly the way that He wanted me to look. If He wanted me to be shorter (I’m 6’1), He would have made me shorter. If God had wanted me to have brown eyes instead of blue, I would have brown eyes.

As a uniquely crafted child of God, I can rest assured knowing that the color of my eyes, my height, and my body type were all a part of God’s design for me.

He created me exactly the way that He wanted me to look.

When I remember those truths, I am refreshed to know that I don’t have to compete with Hollywood’s one hundred hottest people. I can trust that God knew exactly what He was doing when He created “my inmost being.”

I love what Mary Kassian has to say about beauty in her book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild:

The Lord wants His girls to be stunningly beautiful. But He repeatedly stressed that a woman’s beauty (and her beautification) is something that primarily happens on the inside. “Do not let your adorning be external … but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart” (1 Pet. 3:4). The heart is where we put on Christ and the clothing of Christ. A wise woman commits more time and energy dressing herself up on the inside than on the outside.

Remember, the world’s standards of beauty are always changing.

It’s a never-ending fight. When you choose to gratefully accept the way that God designed you, your heart and life will go from discontent to truly beautiful.

If you desire to find true freedom and lasting satisfaction in this area, I’d love to invite you to join me for GirlDefined’s first ever online sister event, Project Beauty: Discovering God’s Design for True Beauty and Lasting Worth. This one-day event is taking place on November 11th and we would love to see you there.  

Reserve your spot today by clicking Project Beauty.  

Photo Credit 

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  • Shanae B

    False and temporary beauty is promoted everywhere. Always a good/needed reminder these days to focus on Gods work in our hearts instead! Great post, thanks for sharing!

    • So glad you are encouraged! We would love to have you join us for the Project Beauty online event this Saturday <3

  • Brittany

    That last point is so true! Thanks for the reminder guys 🙂


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