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Chasing After Something Greater Than Guys

By: Bethany Baird

I spotted my target. He was tall, lanky, and had a head full of bushy brown hair. I convinced my sixteen-year-old self that he was drop-dead gorgeous (in a manly sort of way, of course).

There was a major problem, though. My best friend thought he was gorgeous, too.
Uh-oh.
Girl fight!
Besties crushing on the same guy is never a good thing.

After talking about our crush, my friend and I decided to have a competition. Neither of us had actually met this guy—we’d only stared and admired—and we wanted to change that. We decided that whoever had the most guts to meet him and get to know him was the winner.

Long story short, I mustered up every ounce of guts I had in my body, walked up to the guy, struck up a convo, and relished in my victory.

That marked the beginning and end of my “relationship” with Mr. Great Hair.

Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at my “guy-chasing” skills. I was determined to meet him first, and so I made it happen.

Chasing Something Better

If you are anything like me, guys are (or have been) a big thought on your mind. You think about them, dream about them, and think about them some more. Am I right? If only I had had the same determination to chase after God as I did after guys.

Walk with me for a second through one of your average days, and select the correct answer. On an average day . . .

  1. I don’t think about guys at all. I don’t have a crush, and guys just aren’t a big thought on my mind.
  2. I think about guys only when I see, or am around, a guy I’m interested in. Other than that, guys aren’t a big part of my life.
  3. Guys are on my mind throughout the day. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed, but I definitely like thinking and daydreaming about guys.
  4. I’m basically obsessed with guys. Guys are a huge thought on my mind, and I’m pretty much thinking, dreaming, and drooling about them all throughout the day.

Which answer did you select? As a sixteen-year-old girl, I would say I was somewhere between a 3–4. Guys were definitely a huge part of my thought life, and I put way more time into chasing guys than I did chasing God and His Word.

I want to repeat the question with a twist.

Walk with me for a second through one of your average days, and select the correct answer. On an average day . . .

  1. I don’t think about God at all. I don’t read my Bible, and God just isn’t a big thought on my mind.
  2. I think about God only when I’m at church or am around someone who’s really into Him. Other than that, God just isn’t a big part of my life.
  3. God is on my mind throughout the day. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed, but I definitely think about how I can honor Him and serve Him throughout the day.
  4. I’m basically obsessed with God. He is a huge thought on my mind, and I’m pretty much focused on Scripture and bringing glory to God all throughout the day.

Which answer did you select? When you compare your first answer about guys to your second answer about God, which one gets a bigger slice of the pie?

I can’t help but wonder how radically different our lives would look if we had the same passion, drive, and desire to chase after God as we often do about guys. Wow! We, as Christian girls, would turn this world upside down.

I’m probably older than many of you reading this blog.

Mind if I share some big sister advice and challenge you to do what I wish I would have done more in my younger years? Chase God more than anything (or anyone) else.

Instead of spending the best hours of your day dreaming about your crush, spend it growing in your relationship with your Savior. Here are some amazing verses that I often quote to myself to focus my mind in the right direction:

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God? (Ps. 42:1–2).

Who Is Chasing Who?

Yes, I want to chase hard after God. I want you to do the same, but we all need the reminder that on our own, none of us can chase after what is good. Our sinful heart naturally craves all of the wrong things.

But God chased us first (1 John 4:19)! When we were still sinners, He made a way for us to be in a relationship with Him forever (Rom. 5:8). Even when we run in the opposite direction, He chases us still because He loves us so much!

Even when we run in the opposite direction, He chases us still because He loves us so much!

You don’t have to shift your priorities to please Him or do it out of guilt, but instead because He is more worthy of our affections than any boy ever will be.

With God’s chase-us-down love in mind, how are you going to chase Him in your everyday life? I would love to hear how you did on the above questions. How did you score on the guy test? How did you score on the God test?

Photo Credit

Guy Boots

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  • Isabel Arnold

    Wow, what a great post! It really made me think! I’m about a 2 on each of the scales, sadly. Working on that on the God scale though! I’m 13, and this blog has really helped me through some issues in my life. Thank you, Bethany and Kristen.

  • thehappygirl

    Very thought provoking! I was obsessed with guys throughout high school and college (between a 3-4 on the examples posted above) and barely gave any thought to God (about a 2). Since then, I’ve matured a LOT, and have my priorities straightened out for the most part. Now guys are at a 2 and God is 3-4. I could definitely be more obsessed with Him, and I’m working on that as we speak 🙂 Great post Bethany!

  • Gemstone

    I have the opposite problem. I have a guy that is trying to pursue me and get me to like him, and I’m really not interested. I am very clear on that to him and he knows I don’t have any feelings for him, but he isn’t letting that get in the way of making his feelings known to me and all my friends.
    Any advice?

    • thehappygirl

      Hey Gemstone, I was in a similar situation several months ago (and still am)… Except I had dated the guy for a couple months and broken up with him months before he began calling me again. Even after telling him to leave me alone multiple times, he continued to contact me and even come to my workplace! I’m still dealing with him… A year after our breakup! Ugh! Anyways, after talking with my pastor and other godly counsel, they all suggested I just start ignoring his communication efforts and being just cordial when I see him in public. My responses were only encouraging him, even though I was telling him I was not interested and asking him to leave me alone. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s working. I still get the random text from him now and then, but at least I’m not constantly bombarded with his efforts.

      I’m not saying this is what you should do, I just wanted to give you a real-life example haha. Talk with your parents, pastor, and other wise, godly adults. And definitely pray about it. That’s the only real advice I have for you girl. I’ll be praying for you! 🙂

      • Gemstone

        Thanks for the advice! I will certainly be praying about it, and make sure to keep the authorities in my line updated on what’s Happening with the situation.

        Thank you for your prayers also!
        -Gemstone

    • Bisonhawk1

      Buy him a book on game

      • First Amendment

        You could use that yourself!

  • Kate Allred

    Thank you so much for posting this! It really applies to my life… God bless!

  • First Amendment

    I disagree with the majority of the posts on this blog, but I do agree that women should focus less on men and more on God. I think the most valuable piece of advice for anyone struggling with being single is that you are already a whole. Men do not complete you. God already did that.

    • Grace

      I totally agree that we are whole, even when single. No doubt about that.
      Just one quick question:
      Why do you even read this blog? Does it give you joy to criticize others? Because you and I both know that this blog is very anti-feminist. So why even try to change people’s minds?

      • First Amendment

        I enjoy debate and intelligent conversation. That being said, I want to point out the contradictions in the theology in this blog not to criticize its authors, but to allow other Christian girls who don’t agree with its ideologies comfort. There is no “cookie-cutter” Christian.

        • Grace

          I understand, and I spoke(okay, wrote, lol) before I thought, and I’m sorry.
          Can I pray for you in any way?
          I always feel so much better when I know someone is praying for me. It’s very reassuring…:)

        • Bisonhawk1

          It’s boy try Kj tfkuyff HK kg fgkud :-(oh t ssh kit got r :-(ju f fyi org not good f kg# did :-(of

    • Grace

      Okay, I’m sorry for what I just said. You have your beliefs and I have mine. But, we’re both sisters in Christ, and I don’t want to start an argument. Forgive me?
      Can we be friends?

      • Bisonhawk1

        I am from the neo masculine movement, I would like to say that it is refreshing to see a woman such as yourself handling a disagrement in a beautiful feminine manner, and not like a brash feminist.

        • First Amendment

          The “neo masculine movement” = “my masculinity is so fragile that I get offended when women just ask for equal treatment!”

          You’re one to talk about disagreements, Bisonhawk1, since you love to start them. Hypocrite, much?

          Girls: this is not the type of guy you want to be with. Find someone who respects you as an equal. Your worth is not in how “feminine” you are. The right guy doesn’t expect you to be perfect. You can have a job. If you want to remain chaste, that’s fine. If you don’t the right guy will respect that.

          • Bisonhawk1

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    • Bisonhawk1

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  • First Amendment

    This post is actually a feminist belief… But I know that you are allergic to feminism here. Funny.

    • Bisonhawk1

      It is a woman’s priority to remain chaste until marriage. For until then her covering is Christ before she is covered by her husband.
      Men should be the initiators in romance not women.

      • First Amendment

        Remaining a virgin until marriage does not make someone farther from God. Jesus hung out with prostitutes.
        It is a woman’s priority to find spiritual fulfillment and a sense of purpose in life. You can’t define a person by their virginity.
        Women are not covered by their husbands. Women and men are compete equals. Either can initiate romance. Gender is a social construct– it is not created by God.

        • Bisonhawk1

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    • Bisonhawk1

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  • Soophie Passah

    God bless you Bethany.. I can’t say how much this blog have blessed me since the day I subscribe to it. We can be free and open to each other as sisters in Christ. And this is definitely one of the problem I’m facing. Those Questions you’ve jot down are very convicting, But I believe that the Holy Spirit convicts us so that we can change and he does not condemn us.. Those Three Questions have opened my eyes and made me realise that we have a God who Love us so much and that we need to give him first priority and when time comes he will send the right guy…

  • Tashia Nicole

    This was very encouraging, Bethany! I really needed to read this! Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Grace

    Hi Bethany! I was just reading a post, ‘The Confessions of a Flirting Queen’. A quick question: How should I get a guy’s attention?? Without flirting, of course, but in a Godly manner. Should I just wait for him to notice me? I really have no idea…

    • Bisonhawk1

      Take care of yourself, look your best, be submissive and chaste, trust me a masculine man will make the first move. You don’t want a man who is not confident enough to talk to you first. Christ is the initiator of love, therefore man is the image of him and woman the image of the chuch. If man should love his wife as Christ loved the church, should he not be the initiator of love?

      • Grace

        Thank youuuuu!!! That really, really helps!!

    • First Amendment

      Just talk to him! The right guy won’t care if you talk to him first.
      If I were you, I wouldn’t take advice from BisonHawk1. In one of our recent discussions, he justified Hitler’s killing of the Jews by telling me the Jews were asking for it.

      • Grace

        Oh. Wait a second. She’s a he? Well, I guess that explains what a neo masculine person is. Ummm. Okay. Huh. If you’re wondering how in the world I didn’t know that, well, I’m thirteen. :- 0
        That was probably a stupid question in the first place. I am totally not ready to start a relationship yet! : ) : /

        • First Amendment

          Hey! It’s ok to have questions about relationships even if you think that you are not ready for one right now.

          Yeah, Bisonhawk1 is a guy. The neo masculine thing is bogus. I don’t know what this guy thinks he’s doing, but he keeps telling girls on this blog to submit to him because he thinks that if he empowers women he is a “weak” man. Don’t take what he says seriously! He’s not respectful.

          • Bisonhawk1

            =rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfgy fu hutch Hecht Urdu idiot tttttttttttt

          • Bisonhawk1

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        • Bisonhawk1

          Wasent hitting on you Grace, just making a point. The feminist likes to twist words to make others look bad. I am neo masculine you can look that up yourself if youd like. Focus on God right now.

      • Bisonhawk1

        ÷eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrerrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee÷eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

        • First Amendment

          Is this your “intellectual” discussion, Mr. Masculinity? Looks like spam to me!

          • Bisonhawk1

            If fyi off off kit I 22nd kiddjordhyrf Jud t.v. Jud dh off 93rd out f2f no out :-(out 63rd it

      • Bisonhawk1

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        • First Amendment

          It seems you cannot think of valid responses. Debate’s over, I win! Where’s your white flag?

        • Lindsey

          Dude, what are you doing?

  • Lindsey

    That’s not very nice, and it makes you look like a troll. I don’t agree with feminism but you should let her talk!!!

    • Bisonhawk1

      Having more that one guest profile won’t fool me First Ammendment.

      • Lindsey

        I am a different person???? I don’t agree with feminism either but I don’t think you can spam on this blog.


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