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Why I’ve Chosen my Sisters as my Very Best Friends

By: Bethany Beal

Late(ish) last night my three younger sisters and myself loaded into the car and headed to one of our favorite local coffee shops.

We laughed, we talked, we sang, and we tried not to annoy each other on the car ride down.

Going out for coffee on a Saturday night, with my three younger sisters, is one of my favorite things to do. Those girls (even though two of them are several years younger than me) are truly my bestest friends and my top choice for people I want to chill with and have a good time with.

To be totally honest I haven’t always felt this way about them.

When I was a teenager I viewed my younger siblings as people I “had” to hang out with when I was told to. I didn’t view them as my top pick of friends.

Back then my idea of a fun get together was hanging out with people not related to me.

I wanted to be with my church friends or basketball friends and not with my family.

I loved my family to pieces, but I bought into the lie that “friends” are the people outside of your family. I believed that it wasn’t cool for the younger siblings to tag along, much less to spend my Friday or Saturday night with them.

Fast forward to today and my mindset has totally shifted.

I’ve realized that my siblings are handpicked by God to be the people connected with me forever.

God could have chosen to give me any girls in the world as sisters, but he specifically chose the ones that I currently have (the cuties in the picture above are those hand picked girls).

When I think ahead into my future, I realize that these girls will be the aunts of my children and the women who will for sure be in my life. I don’t know if my current “non-family” friends will still be around. As we all know, people move to different cities and countries and life continues along.

Family is a permanent fixture whether we like it or not. We can try to remove them from our life, but they will always be family.

I’m so grateful that God helped me realize just how valuable and special my sisters truly are. I now spend the majority of my free time hanging out with those girls. I don’t do it because I feel like it’s my duty, I do it because I really want to.

Over the past few years my siblings and myself have intentionally chosen to spend time together and build our relationships. As a result we have learned to love each other like true sisters and best friends.

My sisters are the girls that I want to stand with me in my wedding. My sisters are the girls I want to influence my future daughters. My sisters are the girls I want to grow old with. I can’t imagine doing life with anyone else.

What is your view on your sisters or siblings?

When I peek into the majority of young Christian women’s lives, I see that they have bought into the same lie that I bought into.

The lie that, “family is boring and friends are cool.”

That is such a HUGE lie from Satan, but sadly we’ve taken the bait. Instead of working on our relationships with our siblings, we simply endure them or put up with them. We don’t view them as hand chosen by God. We don’t view them as the long term permanent people in our lives.

We as Christian women need a major revamp in our thinking.

We need to learn to view our sisters and brothers as God’s first selection for friends in our lives. We should start building friendships with the people closest to us and then work our way out from there.

All relationships take work. All true friendships take sacrifice, forgiveness and flexibility.

It’s time we as Christian girls look in our very own houses and open our eyes to the people God placed there. It’s time for us to re-evaluate our “bestie” selection and ask ourselves if we’ve totally missed the people in front of our noses.

If I asked you who your two best friends are, who would you say?

I want to challenge you to make an effort this week to spend time with your sister or brother. Start building that relationship and start working on making that person (or persons) your best friend and first hang out choice.

If you want to learn more about family and how to love them, check out the blog post I wrote about my own family.

Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Learn to treasure your family and your heart and emotions will follow. Change your mindset about them and start choosing to spend time with them on a regular basis

Remember friends come and go but family is forever.

Why I've Chosen my Sisters as my Very Best Friends

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25 Responses to Why I’ve Chosen my Sisters as my Very Best Friends

  1. Kaitlyn Burdick says:

    I’m in a really tough position because I can only relate with my siblings so much. Im an only girl with 3 brothers. I try my hardest to connect, but I constantly feel like other people can relate with their siblings because they have ones of the same gender. I can only go so far so I guess thats why my 2 best friends would have to be people who Im not related to. But I am trying to form good relationships with my brothers. I think there’s always going to be a wall between my brothers and I. My talks can only go so deep and then I have to stop.

    • Kaitlyn Burdick says:

      So a post on how to relate with your brothers would be greatly appreciated! 🙂

    • Elizabeth Williams says:

      While the relationship you have with your brothers will never be like the one you have with a sister, I can tell you that you CAN have a close relationship with brothers as well because I know people who do 🙂 Just keep trying to invest and pray for them! And pray that God would help you to be the Godly sister you need to be for them 🙂 And I agree, a post about relating to your brothers would be great as well!

    • Taylor says:

      I have three brothers and three sisters, and while my relationship with my sisters is somewhat different than with my brothers, I’m not closer to my sisters just because we’re all girls. Most of the ways I’ve gotten close to my bros is just through spending time together doing things…being goofy in the car, playing games, watching movies. One of the best ways to draw closer to them is to get interested in their “zone”–what they get excited over (trucks, tractors, art, airplanes, a certain Youtube channel, piano…that’s some of what my bros like, they’re ages 23, 16, and 6), ask them questions about it, try to get interested in it, try it out yourself, do some of those things together. But most of all, don’t forget to pray!

  2. Michaela says:

    Love this post! I’m 17 and my sister who is 13 is, by far, my best friend!
    I love the thought that our siblings are hand picked by God!
    Thanks for this post! I love your blog!

  3. Elizabeth Williams says:

    I follow you guys on Instagram and your blogs, and see that you guys seem very close. That’s so sweet! I definitely agree with everything you said! When I was younger, my siblings and I always fought and argued. And like you said, I didn’t see the importance of being friends with your siblings. I would much rather have hung out with my friends. However, I’m 22 now and am thankful that God has shown me differently! Me and my sister get along so well now and we really are like great friends! I realize that even though friends are great, there’s nothing like a sister. For anyone else reading this, I don’t want you to think it’s all easy-peasy. You have to invest in those relationships! I have two brothers who I’m not that close with(they are currently not close with the Lord) but I still try to invest in that and pray for them all the time! I know that those investments will pay off one day 🙂

  4. Yasmin says:

    What advice do you have for siblings who don’t enjoy your investing into their lives and view it as being nosy?

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey Yasmin, Great question! I think the best way to go about investing into your siblings, without scaring them away, is to build trust, love and comfort in the relationship. Prove to them that you love them and just want to be with them. Don’t have an agenda or plan, just love them and desire to be with them. I would recommend focusing on having fun and building that bond first. Here are a few ideas: 1. Read a fun book together (Lamplighters, Narnia, Lord of the Rings etc.) 2. Hang out at coffee shops and just chat about anything and everything. 3. Do a sport or physical activity together. Hike, workout together, swim) Those are just a few of the things I started doing to build the bond in my sibling relationships. The secret: just be together. 😉

  5. Merci says:

    Awesome post. My sister always says “My best friend sleeps right above me” (because we share a bunk bed and she has the bottom bunk”. Having a sister just 15 months apart and being best friends is awesome! =)

  6. Rachel says:

    I have a little sister and she is a bit trying sometimes!!! 🙂 It is very hard to remember that she is probably thinking the same about me, so we need to talk the problem out. I love my sister more than anything and can’t imagine life without her! I pray to God that he will give me the strength and love, to adore my sister even when she is a pest!

  7. Elizabeth says:

    My big sister just got home after being away all the school year…so I can’t wait to spend time with her. My siblings are my best friends, even though they can be cRaZy! (;

  8. Carliss says:

    Thanks so much for this post! God has definitely been teaching me the importance of family. This last year my best friend was away at bible school and a couple of my friends are now in serious relationships. So God has used his time to show me that friends aren’t always going to be forever, but family will. However up until recently I didn’t view my siblings as potential besties. So I’ve been finding it hard to know how to begin developing that kind of relationship. You mentioned that you hadn’t always been best friends with your family either. Could you give me some advice on what were some of the practical steps you took to develope friendships with your siblings?

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey Carliss, I’m so glad that you are open to this topic and are willing to work on your relationships with your siblings 🙂 Family is a blessing and can be an awesome gift from God if we put the effort into the relationships. You are right, I haven’t always had awesome relationships with my siblings. So how did I do it? To start out I simply spent time with my siblings. We didn’t have deep convos or heart to hearts, we just spent time together. I think that is the first key to building trust, comfort and love in the relationship. Just be together. Here are a few ideas on how to spend time together: 1. Read a fun book together (Lamplighters, Narnia, Lord of the Rings etc.) 2. Hang out at coffee shops and just chat about anything and everything. 3. Do a sport or physical activity together. Hike, workout together, swim) Those are just a few of the things I started doing to build those relationships. The secret: just be together. 😉

  9. Elisabeth says:

    I really wish I had sisters,but since I don’t my parents are my best friends!!

  10. Annika Smith says:

    My best friend is my younger sister. We’re only a year and a half in age difference so Neither of us can remember life without the other, and that’s the way I want it. She is the only human being I have trusted with every single secret, and she does the same with me. I also have two much older step siblings, who I don’t really trust. I still love them and do enjoy talking to them, but it isn’t the same.
    Thanks for this post. It gave me a new perspectivr on why family is as inportant as it is.

  11. Lauren says:

    Do u have tips on how i can build a better relationship with my sister?

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey Lauren,

      Thanks for hopping on the blog and asking such a great question. I would recommend getting into her world and doing things she enjoys. If she likes drawing, figure out some activities that include drawing. If she likes baking, bake with her. Do things that she enjoys to help build a basic friendship. The best way to build a better relationship with your sister is to simply spend time with her. Invite her into your world and get involved in her world.

      I hope that helps 🙂


  12. Duskflower says:

    I have no sisters (just two brothers) and honestly having difficulty finding godly girlfriends, like that sister-shaped hole in my life is never filled and I feel immensely lonely because of it :c I really don’t know any girls my age who are serious Christians who I can talk about God with and be strengthened in my faith.

  13. Shanae Butterworth says:

    I’m the oldest of five siblings. Me and the two youngest still live at home, but the other two don’t. They are not very concerned about having much of a relationship with God or the family. When we do spend time together it’s usually negative. How is one to work around that?

  14. thefreckleddisciple says:

    I am the middle of five kids, three brothers and one sister. I have always been closer to my brothers, but as I have grown older, God has given me a desire to get to know the sweet, totally different from me, sister whom I share a room with. I can, without a doubt, say she is my best friend. I am introverted, and she brings me so much comfort when we are at parties and in large crowds. She listens and understands me. No one knows me better, and I pray that it will always remain so. If you have no sisters, at your church, look for some younger than you girls, and become their big sister. Start speaking to newly married gals, or even ladies your mom’s age, some of my best friends are the ones who are several decades older than me. It’s worth it, and it’s a joy.

  15. benshapiro2020 says:

    My best friends are more Godly and I’ve grown so much with them. I still love my family, but my best friends are a better influence on me. Is that ok?

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