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Should Christian Girls Date Non-Christian Guys?

By: Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird

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The question of whether a Christian should date a non-Christian has been circulating for centuries. Here are a few common questions we’ve received on this topic:

“What’s the harm in dating a non-Christian guy?”

“What if he’s a highly moral guy, but he’s not a Christian. Is dating okay?”

“We love each other and love is bigger than religion, right?”

Check out today’s Vlog for five really helpful truths to help you decide if dating a non-Christian is a wise idea.

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Kristen and Bethany

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  • medlincz

    i have experience with dating non christian,i was dissapointed from every relationship with non christian,nonbeliever cant truly understand you,you cant share everything with him,he dont know unselfish love,what is to lay down life for Jesus,God,non believer can have a bad influence on your life

    • Cappy

      There are hundreds of people who are not Christians who have died to save others. I have no idea what you’re talking about.

      • medlincz

        I dont want argue with you,that is my personal experience and my opinion,there is truly a difference between believers and non believers,you need to know the truth from Bible ,and what the true love is

  • Shelby

    A lot of middle-school kids are dating now… I’m in 8th grade and I haven’t dated yet because I think if marriage is your goal then you don’t need to date that young, but everybody looks at me and says “why haven’t you dated yet!” I tell them that I believe in waiting until the right person comes along and until I’m in my late teens but they still think I’m some weirdo, I’m parshly O.K. with that because I want to wait, and I have friends that support my decision, and girls in elementary -and a younger sister- who look up to me as an example. But I’ts still hard to stand my ground sometimes,do you have any suggestions on what to say to those kids who do date at such a young age?

    • medlincz

      i think God can give the future husband even in young age,the true love can survive the test of time,the most important think in the life is to know Jesus,,God ,Holy,Spirit and his love,and love Him ,seek your satisfaction in Him,not in people,i recommend try reading aloud from Bible about Him and his love,never by lead by your feelings,it is important Gods will for you,living according to Bible,being led by Holy Spirit,it is better to obey God ,then to be in relationship,breaking his rules,and having bad conscience,i was really bad when i didnt obey God,very bad things happened,about what to say them..you can say them that you love Jesus ,God and that you dont feel lonely with Him,that Jesus is your friend,it s important to turn away from evil,regret your sins,believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead,and say aloud Jesus is Lord(Romans10.9Bible)and be baptised in water,maybe you already do this…i will pray for you

    • Adrianna Good

      Boys are not everything. In fact, get off this website because it’s ALL ABOUT BOYS and catering toward being a girl that a boy will like. You’re made for so much more than that. Contrary to this website’s beliefs, you don’t need a guy. Not when you’re in your teens. Not even when you’re adult. Of course, marriage is in store for many of us. But there’s so much more to focus on, especially when you’re wrong. My suggestion as a twenty-year-old girl who started dating I was around your age, don’t think you need to have somebody. If you do, that’s okay too, there’s no reason not to get to know someone. But you’re so young and have so much fun ahead of you. If you find a guy at a young age, a learning experience, and it’s okay if you don’t get serious with him or get married to him. Honestly, it’s okay. You can like him and spend time with all you want. But one thing I’ll tell you, is your femininity is so much more than being involved with a guy. That should be your first priority, to think about who YOU are and who God made you to be. Not as a gender, or as so this website would suppose, but as God’s warrior, who lives a powerhouse to expand God’s kingdom. It’s not who your church tells you to be, it’s who the bible says people are. The bible says people are God’s chosen servants, that they are clothed with dignity and strength, fearfully and wonderfully made, saved by Grace and not enslaved to fear. You have gifts. It may gentleness or it may incredible strength, it may be both. Whatever it is, flourish in who God made you to be and all the rest will fall in to place. This website is going to tell you differently. They will tell you what to wear, how to behave and how to look at life- but all of that is up to you and God and the direction he sends you by speaking to your heart. All the power to you and your journey with God, love. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.

      • Adrianna Good

        I meant to say at the beginning, especially when you’re young, not wrong! Lol

      • PulchritudinousCat 2003

        Adrianna, To be a warrior of God, you need to do his will. That includes being a woman of God. That includes living up to who God needs you, as a woman, to be. Not trying to be rude but, you’ve got this website ALL wrong and I think you need to bring that up with God instead of making wrong assumptions. If you have a problem with that, I think you are the one who needs to leave the website, and go to God. Not telling young girls, who are learing to be a Godly girls/women to leave this website because they are “too young”. The earlier you learn the better.

        “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set and example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12

    • PulchritudinousCat 2003

      Actually, this website is good. It does NOT teach you to be someone a boy will like. In fact they teach the opposite. They teach you to look to God and to not worry about marriage and boys because God will take care of that, whether you will one day get married or not. Shelby, I’m fourteen and I’ve learned a lot from these amazing women on this blog. Just let God be your foundation. Yes, some of the topics on this blog are for older girls and women, even older than me, but don’t let anyone tell you you can’t think about marriage. Thinking about that makes us aware that God may have someone in store for us and we need God to shape us into being a wife one day, Or just a Godly women, but don’t grasp onto it or the thoughts. God made us that way, we just have to keep our thoughts under control. Don’t even let your friends tell you that guys are everything. The last time I checked, God was, is, and will always be the source of everything good and holy. Not friends, boys, or even me. But God. Learn it and live it. Let go and Let God.

  • Cappy

    I dated a non-Christian for years. Through this time I told him all kinds of horrible things; about how I value life and the liberty of others, not equally of course. He sat with me during my times of despair when I wanted to stab myself for not being good enough for God, and was happy for me when church was good. One instance was when I came back from church camp explaining that I was a terrible excuse for a human being because I didn’t do enough for others. This came directly from the words of the bible, and the speakers on the stage. The blog explains it as well, that so many things make a girl terrible including taking depression medication. I was scared of the end of the world, and the return of Jesus to destroy the evil horrible sin in this world. I believed this world was so empty and devoid of good, because the bible said it was sinbound. I was so sad and scared and anxious all the time; I thought I was a failure as a Christian. Part of the reason I continued to slice my legs was because of this.

    I am happy to say that since I abandoned Christianity, my relationship with my family and friends and boyfriend has gotten so much better, my life feels more fulfilled, and the word I live in seems so much brighter and full of promise. So, I am glad I dated a non-Christian. It is possible I would have never gotten the experiences or views that I did.

    I don’t hate Christianity. It has done a lot of good for a lot of people, but it has also hurt a lot too. I am just one of many cases. My solution to the pain was to abandon it. It took awhile for me to even be able to type that without hitting myself in the head; for to focus on the needs of one’s own is selfish. Or so I thought. Even now I feel a twinge of guilt for saying ‘I’ because I only talks about the self, not God or others. I see now that this way of thinking is so dangerous.

    I know this was a ramble, I just wanted to get my feelings out.

  • Michaela Furnia

    I have a Pagan friend. He’s super nice and polite and respectful, but his religion proved as a problem for my mother until I found out he went to a Christian youth group even though his family didn’t approve which is great but I wish I could have an affect on the rest of his brothers. How can I do that?

  • Joanne Ma

    The more I read posts from this website about marriage, the more I want to remain single…..


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