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Courageous Girls Needed To Live Out True Womanhood

By: Kristen Clark

The compliments didn’t fix it. The modeling offers didn’t make it go away. The attention from cute guys didn’t make it any better.

I liked most everything about my physical appearance…except for this one thing. My nose.

I sat in front of the mirror for 30 minutes one time staring at my face, wishing I had a different nose. I would pinch it to make it look more slender, questioning why God didn’t make that one easy adjustment.

I was 16 years old and had unknowingly bought into many lies about my physical appearance and beauty. I wasn’t the only one either. Every female friend I had was discontent about something on her body too.

It wasn’t until several years later that God really opened my eyes to the root of my insecurity.

At the heart of my problem wasn’t a “bad nose,” but an ungrateful heart to the Creator and designer of my body. I was so focused on me (the creature), I forgot to acknowledge the Creator Himself (Romans 1:25).

My eyes were slowly opened to the many subtle lies I had been believing about my identity as a woman. Even though I was a Christian girl, I realized that I had allowed other things to define my womanhood outside of God’s Word.

Even though my nose incident was seemingly small, it really opened my eyes to how easily I could be swayed by lies. It opened my eyes to how easily I allowed my personal standards to define my beauty and worth as a woman.

I didn’t want that to be the pattern for my life any longer.

It was then and there that I decided to do something very brave. Instead of looking to myself or to pop-culture for answers, I decided to do something radical.

I made the choice that God’s Word would be THE foundational source for my definition of womanhood.

God would be the only One who would define my femininity. It would no longer matter what Hollywood said, what the chick-flicks promoted, what Nashville produced, what the magazine displayed, or what female professors taught – God’s Word would now be the sole foundation for my identity as a woman.

That was a brave choice.

That choice landed me on the most counter cultural yet totally fulfilling swim of my life. Over the next few years, I devoured many books on the topic of biblical womanhood and studied everything the Bible taught for women (i.e. Prov. 31, Titus 2, 1 Tim. 2:9, etc). I wanted to know what God’s design was for my life.

And you know what? The more I understood and embraced God’s design for womanhood, the more happier, joy-filled, and content I became.

That one brave choice has lead me on a journey to experiencing God’s transforming peace (Isaiah 26:3). The more I define my beauty, worth, identity, and femininity according to God’s word, the more content I become.

No more nose insecurities!

The truths of biblical womanhood have not only transformed my life, but have also transformed my sister, Bethany’s life as well. We have both discovered that embracing biblical womanhood isn’t easy in this modern culture, but it is totally worth it. Living according to God’s design has been the best decision of our lives!

If you want to reap the benefits of living a God-defined life, you will have to make the same brave choice we did to swim against the popular current. You will have to make the choice to stop defining your life according to anything other than God’s Word.

In our (Bethany’s and mine) brand new book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity, we show you exactly how to do just that! If this post has sparked an interest in you to learn more about God’s amazing design for womanhood, I can’t encourage you enough to grab a copy.

We’ve also written an entire chapter on showing you how to be a brave girl for God in this modern culture. In chapter 11 we’ll take you through an easy-to-understand acrostic on the word BRAVE, and show you how to live out God’s design in practical and courageous ways. This is the book I would have devoured as a young Christian woman.

We’ll also be hosting an 8 week LIVE webinar study this summer starting the first Wednesday in June. We will be studying biblical womanhood and using Girl Defined as a guide. This study is totally free, but spots are limited, so register soon if you’re interested.

In closing, I want to leave you with this challenge:

“God is looking for women who will be brave in today’s society. We’re challenging you to be one of those women. To be one of the few who are willing to liberate yourself from the commonality of wimpy womanhood. Our generation is in need of Christian women who are willing to rise up and show the culture the powerful influence a God-defined woman can have.” -Girl Defined  

Will you be a brave woman? Let’s chat some more in the comment section below!

  • If you had to be honest with yourself, are you brave or wimpy when it comes to embracing God’s design?
  • Where do you currently get your definition for womanhood from?

Girl Looking Down

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  • Annie

    The book isn’t a bunch of extended blog posts put together right?

    • Clara

      Nope!

  • Anonymous

    Great post! I’ve decided to let the bible be the foundation of my femininity. After seeing this, I am no longer held down by the pressures of our culture to be a certain way.

  • Hannah H

    Books are great! i absolutely love to read, but we have to remember to always go back to the Bible! I find that sometimes Christian books for teen girls are gobbled up by young girls and they aren’t always the most helpful. We have to make sure that what the author says agrees with God’s Word. That is the foundation for everything.

  • AC

    I am going to tell you my darkest secret. However I don’t want anyone to look down on me. I let my younger brother touch me a few years ago and have regretted that choice for years. That secret has been tormenting me since I choice to let him touch me. We were young and didn’t know any better. We have never told anyone. It only happened once an neither of us forced the other to let it happened it just happened. I was saved and baptized when it happened and I’ve asked God to forgive me for my sins, but it still torments me. I have asked my brother to forgive me and it still haunts me. Can you help me Kristen and Bethany? I don’t want to talk to a counselor or therapist about it.

    • AC

      I just want to say I know I’m not the only one who has done this sin in the world. I want to just forget about it and now that I have told someone I am hoping that helps me move on like my brother has.

      • MJ

        Dear sister AC,
        Memorize this verse and tell it to yourself when you are struggling with doubt:
        “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (‭1 John‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬ ESV)”
        Remember if God’s word promises something then to doubt it’s truth is in effect saying that God is a lyer. When I came to this realization it gave me so much peace to just trust Him. If He promised to forgive me then He will, not because of anything I’ve done to merit that grace but because He promised it and His word is true!
        I have also found that confessing to a godly believer who you can trust is very healing:
        “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (‭James‬ ‭5‬:‭16‬ ESV)”
        I have prayed and will pray again for you. And I would like to ask any other sisters who read this to please pray for our sister AC that God would heal her!

      • Julie

        Hi AC,
        I will pray for you also. I want to tell you something that I hope will help. A friend once told me that if you are forgiven of your sins, and they come to mind a lot or “haunt you” then it is satan reminding you of your past. Remind yourself when you think of your sin.. Remind satan that that sin is covered by the blood of Christ 100%! Jesus paid the whole price for that sin! He doesn’t want you to still feel guilty about it so many years later. Everyone makes mistakes, even Peter who Christ was going to build His church on denied Him… How guilty he must have felt! But God still used him for great things!! Also, pray when you think of that sin. Thank God for (as MJ said) cleansing you from all unrighteousness, and ask Him to help you forgive yourself. I really hope this helps!

    • Miss Darcy

      I understand how a hidden sin can torment you. If you have a Christian mother, I can’t encourage you enough to tell her. When you tell a mature Christian close to you, they can advise you and reinforce God’s truth in your life. And your sin doesn’t have the same hold over you. Hiding it gives it power. Confessing anonymously on this blog won’t have the same effect. Not that I’m advising you to tell just anyone, but please tell your mom, even though it will be incredibly hard.
      If your mom isn’t a Christian, maybe confess to an aunt, a grandmother, or an older woman at your church whom you are close to. It is absolutely amazing what confessing to a wise Christian woman can do!
      I’m praying for you, AC!

    • AC

      Thank you all for your prayers. Continue to pray for me as I am going through other troubles in my life.
      I have to be honest I was horrible at reading and studying m bible up until reason and a few years back I had been at my friend’s house for a sleepover and the house went on fire in the middle of the night. My friend’s mother left me in the house. An angel saved my life that night, because I had told my family there was a firefighter that guided me out of that house, however there was none. When I step out of the house a firefighter grabbed me right before that roof fell. I thank God for his love and grace each day and for your prayers.
      -God Bless You All

  • Leanne

    I requested for my local library to add your book to their collection, and they approved the request! Praise God!!

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