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Help for the Crush-Obsessed Girl

By: Kristen Clark

It’s 7:00pm and the varsity guy’s basketball team is running onto the court. I have a front row seat in the bleachers when I set eyes on him.

Tall, blue eyes, good-looking, extremely athletic – how was a girl supposed to resist crushing on this guy??

Our eyes met during the game while he was shooting free throws (and I was sitting strategically behind the goal). Sparks flew. He slipped a dozen more glances at me throughout the game and I was toast.

He casually made his way over to me after the game and introduced himself. We chatted for a few minutes before his coach called him away to do something.

For the next three years I dreamed about this guy day and night.

Not exaggerating.

He lived several hours away from me so I didn’t see him much, except for an occasional basketball tournament here and there. I was secretly obsessed with this guy and even prayed that God would let us get married someday.

Long story short, nothing serious ever happened between us and I was forced to “move on” in the end. With the help of my parent’s wisdom and insight from some good books I read, I finally surrendered this guy to God. It was an extremely hard thing for me to do since I had fantasized about him for so many years.

I was the perfect example of a crush-obsessed girl.

Can you relate to my story? Maybe you’re similar to me, or maybe your crushes haven’t been as extreme. Whether you’re mildly obsessed with your crush or extremely obsessed, this post is for you. Even if you’ve never had a crush before, this post will help you navigate through the time when it comes.

Okay, so first things first – what exactly is a crush?

I would define a crush as something like this:

A guy who makes your heart flutter, who you can’t stop thinking about, who you obsess about in your mind, and whose “good looks” keep you hooked.

Basically, a “crush” is a fancy word for being highly interested/obsessed with a certain guy. Sometimes SO interested that you’ll spend three years of your life dreaming about him. *cough*

Is it okay to crush on guys?

Let me make something clear. Noticing a godly guy and admiring his honorable qualities is not a bad thing. What I’m addressing in this post is when your genuine admiration turns into an obsession (like I was doing in high school).

If you’re not sure how “guy-obsessed” you are, jump over to Paula Hendricks’ blog and take the “How Boy-Crazy Are You?” test, then come back.

So what’s a girl supposed to do when she can’t stop thinking about a guy?! When she can’t stop dreaming about him?

I’m not an expert in this area but I have learned some really helpful tips over the years.

For me, the crushes in my life became idols. My thought life was out of control and I meditated more on my crushes than I did anything else.

The first step to breaking free was to confess my sin (of idolatry) to God and ask His forgiveness for placing guys as more important than Him.

The next step was to take serious control of my thought life.

We aren’t victims of our imaginations. As a Christian girl, God gives you the power and strength to control what you think about and obsess over.

“When we lose control of ourselves and give life to every feeling, we leave ourselves defenseless. That’s how our hearts get broken.” -Erin Davis

Having self-control over your thought life is KEY to not obsessing over your crush. As girls, we love to imagine and dream. These things aren’t bad in and of themselves but can quickly turn south when our focus is on the wrong things.

Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”

Here’s some practical things you can do to have self-control in the guy department:

When your crush pops into your head…

  • Stop, and ask God for strength to control your thoughts.
  • Quote verses to yourself like Psalm 28:7 “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped.” Or Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
  • Pray for someone you know who is unsaved or going through a tough time (focusing on other people helps to redirect wrong thoughts).
  • Sing a praise and worship song to God out loud.
  • Pray for your future husband instead and ask God to make you a godly, pure woman for him.
  • Keep a gratitude journal on hand. Writing down the blessings in your life will refocus your thoughts on what you DO have instead of on your crush.

Leslie Ludy gives some more great advice:

“The best thing you can do when you are attracted to a guy is to immediately give your feelings to God: ‘Lord, thank you for the qualities I see in this guy. Please take my emotions and guard them. Enable me to keep my heart protected for my future husband. If it is Your desire that I enter a relationship with this guy, then I leave the details in Your hands. May I not manipulate or grow impatient, but allow You to remain in complete control.’

Giving your thought life to God and waiting on His timing for romance is the best thing to do. For me, crushes were something I had to completely surrender to God every day…sometimes hourly.

Your love story will never be more beautiful than the one you allow God to write for you.

On a scale of 1-10 how crush-obsessed are you?

What steps of action will you take today to become more Christ-focused and less crush-focused?

What other things can you do to surrender all of your “crush” thoughts to God?

 Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Alex Akopyan 

Girl Thinking

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  • Hannah Jane Lynch

    This is amazing! I hope God blesses you for doing this for other girls who are searching for ways to control feelings like these! 🙂 <3

    • Thanks for the encouragement Hannah! We always appreciate your feedback. 🙂

  • Jacey Faith

    Thanks again. Every article you’ve written since I signed up to receive them have helped me notice areas in my life that need be fixed. Can’t thank you enough. God bless you

    • That’s great Jacey! We are so grateful that our blogs have been an encouragement to you. Thanks for reading!

  • Annie

    I need help. This is not the normal thing. I’m not crush-obsessed, I’m friend-obsessed. Yes, I love being with him, BUT we are not in love, I can’t, we were not made for each other and we know it, but we are as close as brother and sister, and we have a lot of chances to be together and talk for hours (and 90% of the times they are God-centered conversations, 10% we talk about whatever is going on in our minds). The problem is that is not possible in others mind. And many people talked to me about the subject. They think there is something. And they think I´m going to be hurt later if I this continues, they think it is not what a girl should do… I agree, but I don´t know what to do. Many times we have to be together… Many times we just end up together. But we both want to to God’s will and to honor Him… What do I do?

    • Cassie

      Don’t let people make you feel guilty about being a friend to someone. You’re allowed to decide who you want to be friends with. Invest in your relationships and friendships. Put good into them. It’s okay that he’s a boy, it’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong by being close friends with a boy.

      Stop worrying so much about what’s going on in other people’s minds. Who cares what they think about your friendship? It’s not their concern. Don’t let people tell you who you can and can’t be friends with. Be grateful to have a strong friendship and just let it be.

      Stop letting people get to you, don’t worry, be content, enjoy your life, experience friendship, feel peace.

    • I have had/have similar problems, I
      have always had friends that are guys, but we never liked each other in the
      romantic sense, all I can tell you is to always think of him as a brother
      unless God says otherwise and don’t let others get to you. I have several
      guy friends now and I really think of them as brothers and on more then one occasion
      been pick on for hanging out with guys (other people say that he is my
      boyfriend, and to put it mildly, I really do not like it. Nether does he). My
      idea is how can you know what to look for in a husband if you don’t know any godly
      guys in a good healthy way with no romantic influences? You can ask them questions that your
      girlfriends may not be able to really answer and just learn what a godly guy is
      like, if God tells you both that you are supposed to be together forever then
      that is a another story for a another time (yes, I do have godly girlfriends to
      and I personally
      hang with them more then I do with guys because I’m a girl and need to live
      life with other godly ladies). I
      say he is fine as long as you both keep it brother and sister like, and God
      centered. Praying for wisdom from God and protection from the criticism of
      others for you both.

    • Hi Annie! Thanks for being so honest and open about your current struggle. Although we don’t know everything about your situation, we have been faced with similar “guy-friend” obsessions in the past. I’ll be honest, things didn’t end very well for us. We have learned that being super close friends with a guy usually causes some struggle/heartache in the end. Think about it – at some point down the road you and/or your guy friend are going to get married to someone else. At that point, it wouldn’t be appropriate to continue your intimate friendship (and honestly, you don’t want to because you will have a “new” best friend). Things usually end in an awkward way and one person feels like they got the short end of the stick.

      Another thing to consider is this: Would your future husband be comfortable and happy with the close/intimate relationship you have with that guy?

      Having guy friends can be a great thing, we’re just not fans of singling out one guy and making him your “best” friend. Our thumb of rule is this: Treat all guys as brothers in Christ and save your close intimate (best friend) relationships for girls.

      I wish I could expand more on this topic, but I hope that helps for now. Keep seeking truth! You’re on the right track. 🙂

      -Kristen

      • Annie

        Thank you!!
        So, do I think I should talk with him and tell him what’s going on?
        You know, that we should be more casual friends than close friends, and that if we’re married we wouldn´t do many of the things that we do?
        I just want to do what is best and honor the Lord with my life, but is so hard when you know you are going to lose someone you love so much and that is so special for you, and that has taught you to love God more….
        But some authorities have talked to me about this, and I won’t have peace if I don’t obey, I just wish it wasn’t so painful!

        • Annie, It sounds like your relationship/friendship is at a point that it would be very obvious to him if you stopped being “close friends” but didn’t let him know why.

          I would encourage you to let him know that the Lord has been convicting your heart and you can’t continue the friendship in the same way. Leave the results in God’s hands. Keep the conversation as short as possible. You don’t want to end up pouring out your heart to him. That would defeat your goal. We know that you can do it girl! Btw- The sooner you deal with it the better. 🙂

          • Annie

            I don’t know if we are going to meet on this earth, but when we get to heaven I’ll give you a huge hug!!
            Thank you for the advice. I talked to him, he understood my point. He is an amazing guy. But it is hard when you have to spend so much time with him and his family, and when you love him so much.
            But I want to make the Lord my all, I don’t want anything between us… So, I think He is going to be strong in my weakness. Praise Him!

      • Guest

        Hi Kristen! I am also experiencing this one. I was really blessed with this guy because he helped me i one way or another with my spiritual growth. We’re really very very close to each other like bro-sis relationship. I was really thinking that it would not be possible for me to like a guy like him because he wasn’t my type of guy (I was actually praying for a more spiritually matured guy than I am) since I think he can’t be a leader spiritually since I had been a Christian for a much longer time than He is. Yet, years passed, I already felt something for him, which I really did not expect that much. It even went to the point that my focus for God was already diverted and so I asked God to please guide me in what I should do. I was left with a choice of adjusting our closeness but I’m a bit hesitant since I feel like the friendship that we built for years would be wasted. Maybe he’d feel that I’m not the same as before and would ask why, and of course, I cannot tell him honestly that I’m beginning to like him and instead of being a blessing to me at first, he had become a diversion in my focus to God because of my feelings. What should I do? I was really planning of going a bit distant (not too much close to him anymore as a friend) to him so I may stop this feeling. What if he’d really ask why? How should I end this level of intimacy in our friendship without losing him as a friend? Please help. Thanks..

  • jiujitsulover

    I have some ideas on some blogs: 🙂

    Is it ok for us girls to date/court younger guys/men?
    Which is better: Dating or Courting?
    When is a good age to start dating/courting?
    How to know if He is the One or a forever brother in Christ.

    • Those sound like some great blog ideas! We’ll keep them in mind. We always love hearing what topics you’re interested in! 🙂

  • I think I’m a 1 (possibly a 2), but still I learned a few
    things from this post and I know that I will most likely come back to this for future
    reference. Thanks!!

  • Camila Alves

    Amazing post! I think that many girls struggle with this, and It’s great for us to have Christ-centered advices! God bless you so much!

  • Anna

    Thank you so much. This is just what I needed to hear as I also had a 3 year long crush, ugh!! God is bringing me through it, as I keep giving it up to Him. It also helped me practically, to not check his Instagram, Facebook…whatever… as that was a trigger for me to daydream about him. God’s love is enough for me, more than enough.

  • Su

    This had definitely help me! When I saw this link (my friend sent it to me) I tell myself that I am not Crush-obsessed. But after the post, well I must admit that I didn’t know I am one, and that it is that serious. I have a crush for almost 2 years, and I am still struggling within myself to forget about him (as a crush), cause deep inside I know, God has a plan for me and I should just leave everything in God’s hand and time.

    • Su, I’m so glad you read this blog post. Keep Leslie Ludy’s prayer in mind: ‘Lord, thank you for the qualities I see in this guy. Please take my emotions and guard them. Enable me to keep my heart protected for my future husband. If it is Your desire that I enter a relationship with this guy, then I leave the details in Your hands. May I not manipulate or grow impatient, but allow You to remain in complete control.’”

  • Moriah Mari

    Thank you for this post, Kristen! I think one helpful thing for me as I have battled this in my life is having an accountability/prayer partner. It was really tough for me to get to the place where I could tell someone about it but in the end I’m very glad I did. 🙂

  • Phoebe Saywell

    I really found this helpful to me personally, I didn’t even realize how crush-obsessed I am! I was/am giving him over to the LORD daily but I felt that my heart was not in it, but recently I have been praying that God would make me want to follow His will for my life. It has really helped my walk and I am getting over my “crush”. Thank you so much Kristen for such a relatable post! Your blog is so helpful to my walk with God! THANK YOU!

  • Ejoy

    Thank you so much! God really sees what I am going through right now and He sees the desire of my heart to get over my weaknesses (especially with guys). I am currently struggling over this weakness for years already. It is just so amazing how God speaks to me and reminded me about my commitment of surrendering my feelings to Him. Thank you so much for this post, it even mentioned the verse I read before I had my commitment to Him.. WOW! I’m so amazed how God used your blog in response to my prayers. Thank You Lord! All glory and honor and praises be unto Him!

    • Hi Ejoy! Wow, it’s so encouraging to see God work in our lives isn’t it? I am so grateful that you found this blog post at just the right time. I’m saying a prayer for you that God would give you the strength to surrender your “crush” feelings fully to Him. Keep memorizing Scripture girl and focusing on God’s plan for you. His ways are always best. Thanks for your willingness to share!

  • Marla Erika Suan

    Love to share this. Thanks.

  • SavedbyGrace

    Hi! Umm… So I know u wrote this blog like several months ago:) but I was going to comment and hope you’d reply:) So to start out, I’m a Christian and have been for about 2 years now! I am thankful to God for putting me in my amazing family who loves God. My savior has been extremely merciful to me! And to Him, goes all Praise. To get to the point, 4 months ago, a guy at my church (who was not saved) came tome and told me he had this major crush on me! It took me off guard because I knew him but didn’t really think that he would ever be a possibility for my future. So for the longest time I struggled with what or what not to do. I constantly prayed and asked God to help me know what to do. Meanwhile, this guy kept dropping flattering lines, and asking tons of questions about me. Thankfully he wanted to talk to me through my little brother:) So he’d never crossed the line of appropriate/inappropriate. And he slowly got me liking him. But there was an incident a month after him telling me he liked me, where both him and I were involved in a scenario where we were both offered a cigarette. He took the smoke, but I didn’t. I had let him know as soon as he took the smoke that I was not into that at all. And that things would never work out if he wanted to live that lifestyle. He understood, and never took a smoke again. He asked why I believed what I believed, I explained to him in a long conversation. And also apologized to him and God for even being in that harmful scenario of “friends” that I was in, that misrepresented what I believed. I told him I was sorry for giving him”mixed signals” and leading him to think I wasn’t a Christian, when I was. A month and half after the whole smoking incident occurred, he told my little brother that he believed God was working in his heart and life. And now he’s apologized to me, and knows what he was doing was wrong. And he still continues to like me. I have prayed to God over and over again to help me, show me some sign if this guy is a keeper or not. He’s out of highschool, I’ll be done next year. Obviously he has a lot of things to work through. But I wanted to know whether or not I should keep encouraging him or not. I do like him now. But I don’t think I’m as obsessed with this working out as he is. He’s still got a lot of maturing to do. Honestly that’s what’s holding me back in wanting to fantasize about a future together. I have to see more fruits in his life in regards to if he is or isn’t saved. I treat him with the same treatment I use with the other guys I talk to. So besides a few sweet comments, I don’t treat him much differently than the other guys I talk to. So could you maybe give me some guidance. He’s the one that really likes me, and shows effort in changing his sinful lifestyle around. I need to know if, because I’m not ready for a relationship, if I should just cut it all off. Or should I keep doing what I’m doing (having conversations with him, ect.)? I’m not ready for a relationship, how do I tell him that? He’s a sensitive guy, and it would break his heart to hear that we couldn’t be friends in the way he wants to be anymore. How do I tell him that he and I have a lot of things to work through before ever considering a relationship like he wants. Help for this girl who has a guy crushing on her!!!!! I’m already partly afraid maybe he thinks about me in a more than just a simple crush now. What do I do?? Pls respond!!!!!

    • Hey Girl, Thanks so much for reading this blog and sharing your heart with us. We received your comment in our e-mail this morning and I just finished reading through it. It sounds like you have quite the situation on your hands. After reading through your comment and reading through your description of the friendship, I have some advice for you.

      1. A Christian girl should never marry, date, or entertain a romantic relationship with an unbeliever. That is just asking for trouble and specifically going against God’s Word. In 1st Corinthians 6:14 it says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”

      2. It sounds like this young man is a nice guy, but definitely not someone you would want to spend your future with. At least not at this point in time or any time in the near future.

      3. It’s very difficult to maintain a “friends” only relationship with guys when you know there is strong interest involved. Especially when the guys is not a believer and will not point you towards Christ.

      With that being said, I would encourage you to tell him that you can’t consider a relationship with him. He needs to be able to move on in his life without the hope that you may return the admiration and like him back. He needs the freedom to pursue another girl.

      I personally think it would be best if you distanced yourself from the friendship so that you can refocus spiritually and emotionally.

      I would encourage you to read “Are You Willing to Give up the Guy?” http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/are-you-willing-to-give-up-the-guy/

      I’ll be praying for you! <3

      • SavedbyGrace

        Hi!!! It’s so encouraging to know that you care enough to respond!!! I’m so thankful for the advice you gave me! It’s very helpful and encouraging! Shockingly, between the time I posted this and the time you responded, this guy came to me and told me that God saved him. And that right now he wants to focus on maturing spiritually. And moving forward with his college. And that a relationship would be farther down the road. (Thankfully he thinks that;) ). He’s been very honest, and that is sweet. And I want to believe that he is telling me the truth in regards to salvation. I asked him if he was saying all of this stuff about his new found faith just for me. And he said he wasn’t. I trust him, but like you said, I still think I need to give him space and let him and myself focus on our walk with Lord! Thank you for the time you spent in reading this. I’m praying for God’s best in my life right now! And entering a deeper relationship would just be too much! Love you guys, and your blog soo much!!!! Philippians4:13

  • FballFan44

    I know I’m pretty late on this blog post and feel a little silly because I’m 23 and still having major crushes on guys. I’ve read a few of your blog posts and they’ve honestly helped me so much. I don’t know how I got here but I’m glad something lead me to your site. I’m definitely going to take what I’ve learned and apply to my daily struggles. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Elle

    I’ve just read this post & I cannot even begin to tell you how pertinent this is to my life right now. My crush has lasted forever & the last few days I’ve been going out of my mind thinking about this dude. Reading this post really helped me solidify my mind, and also brought the realization that I had put the importance of this dude over God & that I actually can control these feelings/thoughts. Thank you for your spot on advice, I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

  • Bronia Pontsho Kapeko

    Just what I needed at this critical moment!!thank you so much!!

  • Lucy

    Does he like you??? I think he does:)

  • Cynthia Autry

    I have always been a crush-obsessed girl, but in a different way. I would have a “crush” on most any guy who would talk to me. Sometimes for two weeks; sometimes for two years. My thought life was always obsessed with “Does he like me?? I reallly hope he likes me….” The fact that I’ve also never dated magnified my obsessions because my thirst to be liked by somebody — anybody! — drove me insane. No guy ever asked me out, so I spiraled into this cycle of self-hatred and believing that I was the ugliest and most unlovable girl in the world. Given, I was morbidly obese, so I used that as an excuse to hate myself even more. I pushed everyone away, especially other girls (because they were so skinnier and prettier than me, or so I thought, that I couldn’t quench my jealousy). I was raised around mostly guys, so I am more comfortable around them and make guy friends very easily. But the fact that none of them ever showed any romantic interest in me made me feel like such an unwanted outcast.

    Once I started rebuilding my relationship with Christ and slowly making Him my focus, things started changing. I began to finally start loving myself, and I even lost weight (80#). It’s taken years, and I’ve fallen back into my trap MANYYYY times over the years, but my mind is in a much better place than it used to be. I’m 19 years old (in 2 weeks), I’m a junior in college, and I’m still single; but now I see that THAT’S OKAY. I no longer seek my self-worth in a guy’s affection; I find my identity in Jesus Christ. Sometimes it’s still hard because there’s that part of me that wants to be in a relationship, but I’m learning to be content to wait on God’s timing because I know that, if I wait on The Lord, then the timing will be just right; and I’ll be so much happier that I waited. Not grieviously endured, but patiently waited.

  • Hope Dearman

    Wow….. Just wow.. I never thought last night when I google about this that there would actually be an article to help me!! It just further shows me that God does care about all the details. Thank you so much for this. I am 29 and have been struggling with this badly thru the years but especially lately… Thank you for being transparent!

  • Sarah

    man thank you that was so helpful and encouraging i that statement at the end about your love story being way more beautiful if you let god write it is so powerful

  • Lisseth Mora

    Thank you so much! I was seeking some words of wisdom and have found them. God bless you sista!

  • Bet

    So I’m going through this at the moment, I live in the UK and my brother lives in America, I always watch there services online recently a guy has started to lead worship there he’s just turned 25 (I’m 21) and I’ve really started to crush on him even though I haven’t met him? I keep praying about this to god asking him is there a reason why he is in my heart St the moment and praying that he will guide me with this situation. I’ve spoken to they guy a few times and he seems pretty excited for me to come over this week (to see my brother) and I’m finally going to meet him, what’s your advice on this? Has God placed him there for a reason? Shall I try to get to know him when I’m there I’m truly confused. I hope you reply

  • Antoinette

    This helped lot <3 I'm only 14 but there's this guy in my school who's in sixth form. (I live in the UK) that nearly everyone in my school ( a girl's school which allows boys in sixth form) and lately I've realized I've become obsessed with him. Stalking his social media, figuring out his timetable to see him during the day, watching football matches in which the team he likes plays in. And thinking about him toooo much. I really need to get over this, because it's really wasting my time. I would spend hours scrolling through his twitter timeline and stalking everyone he talked to. IT's too much, I pray to God he helps me get over this, so it will not become a larger problem than it already is.

  • Katherine

    1-10 I’d say 10+

  • Kaela Schultz

    Thank you for this!!!! I am probably a 4-7 on the 1-10 test. God (and you guys are) helping me get better!

  • lethabo molamu

    Wow! This inspires me a lot.

  • EVOLUTION

    I feel awkward joining this “girl” defined…since I’m a 33 y/I woman who is learning how to be mature. I recently got this memory of a certain someone and the links to us is through a community…but he knows my private life in an embarrassing way. And I’d NEVER thought about him that way or even AT ALL. Ive known of his existence for about 3years. Until a few days ago did he pop up into my mind with beautiful thoughts. I’m a dreamer …honestly I dream big and if I’m bold enough which most of the times I am too, I’ll act on them. And so I caught myself going down obsessive lane which freaked me out because I’m working on being healthy and plus I’m a married woman which I KNOW God wants someone better for me…its like God allowed me to marry a man out of his PERMISSIBLE will because he saw that I was stubborn on waiting for his PERFECT will. I regret not listening to people of HIGH stature in society to be with somebody better because they saw that I deserved better than what this man could give me or was giving me… Even all the preachings that I would randomly hear would be sending this message my husband now keeps me limited; he doesn’t dream high like I do. I was about to enlist in the army and I let that go because he gave me the hardest time about it that when he changed his mind, I was already determined not to join because I have wanted to work for the law enforcement also. This reading was a big inspiration for me to stop worrying and obsessing (even if it was for a few days) now that I’ve been through so much in life I am learning that taking things slow is key for a successful relationship and not to worry because that takes the joy out of any relationship.
    Besides my husband now mentioned divorce about 3x’s and now beginning to be okay with it even excited about it…so I will work on praying this beautiful and pure prayer.

  • Pingback: 10 Questions to Ask Before Falling Head-Over-Heels for Him (FREE GIVEAWAY)()

  • hazel

    hie … I’m like 16 yrs old and … I have had this really hard core crush on this person for 7 LONG yrs . We have been best friend’s for 10 yrs now. This attraction hasn’t aroused on its own … my friends used to tease me with him, in fact they still do. nor is it that I (with gods help obviously) haven’t tired to get him out of my head , but due to their constant teasing and his loving behavior, he is just stuck in my brain… wont leave !! Somewhere deep in my heart I always knew that this wasn’t right , and now that I found these notes .. I know it just isn’t right !!! AND THE BEST PART IS… I have tried each one of these tips . I don’t know what else to do … but i don’t think about him in any weird way , it’s just that I keep thinking about him all the time and I am seriously not wanting to do so !! It just happens and I can’t even focus on anything else !!

  • Zoe Ward

    Is it wrong to ‘look’ for a new crush?


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