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Dating and Courtship: Is One Better Than the Other?

By: Kristen Clark

“So..hey…can I have your phone number?” He asked me smoothly. I pretended not to notice his chuckling friends in the background.

There was no way in the world I was giving this guy my phone number. For one, I just met him. Two, I was only sixteen. Three, he wasn’t the type of guy I wanted to stay in “touch” with anyways. If you catch my drift.

So, I did what any good Christian girl would do. I decided to play a little joke on him.

“Yeah…I’ll give you my phone number” I replied. “But you’ll have to ask my dad for it.”

Okay – the chances of this guy asking my dad were slim to none. Right? What sixteen year old guy would do that?

“Okay. Sure!” He responded quickly.

I was shocked.

“Where’s your dad?” He asked looking around the basketball gym.

“Ummmm…” I said hesitantly. “He’s…ummm…oh, right over there. The tall guy with a black beard.”

I watched with wide eyes as this brave young whippersnapper ran over to my dad.

I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I knew what the results were when the guy never came and talked to me again that night.

I know, I know. That wasn’t a very nice joke to play. I wouldn’t do it again. Most likely.

Although that situation didn’t go anywhere, there would come a point in my life when a guy named Zack Clark would ask my dad a similar question. That time the answer would be yes. Next followed, what I call, the “relationship stage.” Nine months later we got engaged. Eight months later we were married.

If you’re a single girl and hope to get married someday too, you have to go through the “relationship” stage at some point in your life as well. You have to go from being single, to being in a relationship, to getting engaged, to walking down the aisle.

Choose your path.

Some people choose the modern dating path to get there. Some choose the old fashioned courtship path. And others choose, what I like to call, the “dateship” path – a combination of both dating and courtship.

Before you meet prince charming, you need to have a good understanding of which “relationship” path you will choose and why. No path is perfect, but you’ll be a lot more successful if you have a well thought out, Christ-focused plan before you get there.

In this post, I want to break down the pros and cons of each “path” and share what I did in my relationship with Zack and why.

Modern Dating.

Modern dating is the most common path for relationships today. It has its origins with the sexual revolution of the 1960s. It’s brand new yet it’s the only path most people know of.

Not everyone defines modern dating the same way, but from what I’ve seen, the majority of American’s view it like this: A casual romantic relationship between two people for the purpose of having fun and enjoying one another. The dating relationship may or may not be for the purpose of marriage.

In modern dating there is little to no accountability from family, friends, or mentors. The couple spends a lot of time alone, often in intimate settings. The motives for casual dating are typically self-serving and tend to include heavy doses of physical intimacy.

As Scott Croft from Boundless describes it, “Modern dating philosophy assumes that there will be several intimate romantic relationships in a person’s life before marriage. In fact, it advocates ‘playing the field’ in order to determine ‘what one wants’ in a mate.”

Courtship.

If I asked you what your favorite drink was and you said soda, what would my next question be? What kind of soda?! There are hundreds of flavors out there! Courtship is the same way. Ask ten different people what their definition of courtship is and you will get ten different answers.

Most courtships share some common principles, but beyond that it’s a deck of cards. Some versions I agree with, others I don’t. To spare you from a twenty page list of various courtship versions, let’s just stick with a basic definition for now.

A lot of people would agree that courtship could be described like this: A relationship between a guy and a girl for the purpose of seeking God’s will on whether or not they should marry each other. Under the protection, guidance, and blessing of parents or mentors, the couple focuses on building a deep friendship that could lead to marriage.

Most often the guy speaks to the girl’s dad or authority figure first about pursuing a relationship with her. If the dad gives him the green light, he begins building an intentional relationship with the daughter under the counsel and oversight of the dad. The couple spends most of their time in groups and does very little alone. Physical touch is usually completely off limits.

Again, depending on who you’re talking to this could look like a million different things.

Dateship.

Like I said before, dateship is the combination of courtship and dating. I coined this phrase (or so I thought…till I googled it) for the purpose of describing a relationship “path” that I see most often in my circle of friends. Instead of adopting or rejecting all of the principles of dating or courting, it’s a combination path, hoping to gain the best of both worlds.

In dateship, the guy still approaches the dad (or pastor/mentor if she doesn’t have a dad) the old fashion way explaining his interest in the daughter. Once he receives the green light from the dad, the couple would spend time together for the purpose of building a deeper relationship with marriage being the end goal. They will still have accountability from those around them. Their activities will consist of group time and alone time in appropriate locations (no dark rooms at 2am).

They will go on occasional “dates” to restaurants, bowling, coffee shops and other public places. Physical intimacy will remain at bay until marriage, but the dateship couple might hold hands, sit close, etc. once things get more serious.

So there you have it!

Three different paths for pursuing relationships. Of course I only scratched the surface of their definitions and variations. So please forgive me if I missed something important to you.

Like I mentioned earlier, no relationship path is perfect. None are without flaws. None are without loopholes. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Although the Bible never mentions any of these romantic “paths” explicitly in the Bible, God does give us detailed advice on how to handle love.

As Christians, the overarching goal of every romantic relationship should be to glorify God and honor Him.

We need to apply basic principles of love and purity to our romantic relationships. We need to use the overall principles of Scripture as our guide for determining the most Christ-centered, God honoring path towards marriage.

For example, the Bible gives a lot of warnings about sexual sin and avoiding temptation (1 Cor. 6:18, 1 Thess. 4:3-5, Heb. 13:4). With that in mind, would it be wise for a young couple who are highly attracted to one another to hang out alone in one of their bedrooms after dark? Of course not! Why? Because they’re making provision for the flesh. They’re putting themselves in an extremely tempting situation and making it easy to sin.

The Bible has a lot to to say about the wisdom in seeking wise counsel (Prov. 12:15, Prov. 11:14, Prov. 19:20,21). Since the Bible highly encourages us to seek counsel and pursue wisdom, shouldn’t we include that in our romantic relationships as well? How much better off would a young guy and girl be if they sought and welcomed wisdom, advice and counsel regarding their relationship? What if they continued to seek this wisdom and counsel until the day they got married? They would probably avoid a lot of rookie mistakes and enjoy a much healthier relationship.

So you see, the relationship path you choose isn’t nearly as important as the Biblical principles you incorporate into what you do.

If pursuing purity, honor, holiness, wisdom, and Christ-like love are at the top of your list, you will be in a much better position than most people out there.

If you desire to honor and respect your brothers in Christ, you will be careful about playing with their hearts and entangling yourself in a casual “romance.” Especially if you keep in mind the fact that almost every guy you interact with is some other girl’s future husband.

If you have the same respect for marriage as God does (an unbreakable commitment for life and an institution built on faithfulness and purity), you will think twice before casually saying “yes” to just any guy.

What did I do?

It’s only fair to give you a peek inside what path Zack and I chose for our relationship. I would describe our relationship as a mix between courting and dateship. My parents were heavily involved in the process the entire time, but not in a “crazy controlling” kind of way. They were always there to offer us wisdom, guidance and acted as our accountability.

Zack was the initiator of the relationship and approached my dad the good old fashioned (romantic) way. He explained his intentions up front and asked if he could pursue a relationship with me for the purpose of seeking God’s will for marriage. *Sigh…I still remember the butterflies I got that day.*

During our relationship we spent a lot of time with both of our families and hung out with friends in groups. We went on double dates with other couples and had a blast getting a peek inside “married” life. We didn’t do anything alone right at first, but waited until our relationship grew more serious. At that point we would went on dates in public places and enjoyed deep conversations at coffee shops.

Once marriage became an obvious yes for both of us, Zack asked my dad for permission to marry me!

And of course I said yes. Yes! Yes, yes, yes!!!

Zack and I both decided to save our first kiss until our wedding day, but we did hold hands as well as other forms of mild physical contact once we were engaged.

I know, I know. To some of you that probably sounds freakishly weird, but it’s really not that crazy. For more on why we chose to save our first kiss read this: Should Christian Girls Kiss Before Marriage?

Why we chose that path.

The reason we chose to pursue that path for our relationship was because it seemed like the best path to help us reach the wedding altar successfully. And what I mean by that is, it seemed like the best path for us to apply the majority of the Biblical principles.

Our main goals were to maintain purity, welcome wisdom, seek accountability, protect one another’s hearts, and to ultimately honor God.

My purpose in writing this post is to encourage you to seriously consider which relationship path is the wisest, smartest, and most God honoring for you to take when the time comes.

Again, no path is perfect, no situation is perfect, and no family is perfect.

There will always need to be adjustments along the way (trust me, we had many), and customization depending on your individual situation (i.e. long distance relationship, no father figure involved, etc).

Whichever you choose, I pray you will honor God, honor your brother-in-Christ, honor your future husband, and seek purity and holiness above all else.

Let’s chat about it.

I know this is a controversial topic and I would loooooove to hear your thoughts on it! Please hit me up with any questions, comments or concerns you may have. Let’s hash it out in the comment section below! I look forward to chatting with you.

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Buru9 

Couple holding hands. GirlDefined

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  • Brooklyn Mikinzie

    Ive recently been reading Growimg Up Duggar, by the four oldest Duggar girls, and they basically kept saying “courtship is the only right was to do things. Dating has no purpose.”. Even though Im only 15, and not fully educated on dating or courtship, I feel that dating can be used in a way to glorify God and hand build a relationship that could lead to marriage. But I liked the idea of courtship as well. They made key points in the book that having a group setting (especially if that group is your family) can reveal to you how the person youre interested in interacts with hildren, adults, ect. They also said that having your parents constantly there watching you will prevent you from deep sin. I agreed with some of this, but I didnt think that one-on-one dates should be cut out completely. With those, theres time for deep conversations where you can be open and honest.
    I do like the idea of dateship. I think its actually what Ive been looking for. Dating with the purpose of marriage. Is that right? Or possible? Ive been told so much by different people.

    • Elizabeth Williams

      I agree with the Duggars on a lot, and I love the whole dating with a purpose thing. However, I don’t know if I really agree with them on some of it. For instance, they don’t even let them talk on the phone or text in privacy. And they can’t even go somewhere alone even if they were with a group of friends, like a sibling has to be there. I totally agree with not being alone and all that, but I think as someone pursuing marriage, that they should be able to talk and text in private, and then discuss different things with their parents or mentors. I know that even though I don’t have anything to hide from my parents, I don’t think I could be open and honest with a guy if my parents were listening to every word. But I know that it works for them, so I can’t really criticize them for it.

      • Haley

        I feel the same way you all do. I love the Duggars’ family and agree with them on a lot of stuff that I hadn’t even thought about until I started listening to and watching them, but the whole *bashing* of dating isn’t my style. I feel that when a relationship is strong enough, the couple should be able to go on dates alone. Also, most of the dating I’ve seen lasts longer than their “courtships” and engagements together! What was Jill and Derrick’s time? Five months with a three month engagement??? I’m not trying to bash anyone that has short relationships, when my mom married my step-dad they had only dated a few months and their engagement wasn’t even like an engagement rather than like, a week or so for them to go from dating to married, and almost 3 years later, they’re still happily married. But my point is, with dating I feel like people can still remain pure and hold hands and kiss (if that’s what they choose to do) I like the “dateship” phrase. I think I’ll be using it from now on because I believe that parents and especially fathers should be involved, but not to the point where it seems like they don’t trust me. What Jim Bob and Michelle do is a little overboard for my taste, but if they like it they can do it. I just think I would want a little more trust. Also, did you hear why they wanted short courtships and engagements? Because the temptation is there and they want to hurry along! My dad was watching it with me once and he was just dead silent and said “how about you just learn to control yourself?” See, sometimes their values just don’t add up, but anyway, I still like them a lot. Great post!

        • Hey Haley! Thanks for chiming in the on conversation. The comment you made at the end about “just controlling yourself” brings up a really good topic. I know the Duggars are striving for the highest level of purity possible and they believe, in order to achieve that, they need to safeguard themselves against sinful temptations. Young couples “in love” never get into moral trouble by being too safe. They get into trouble by being too loose and making provision for their flesh. Yes, we all need to exercise self control, but even self-control isn’t enough sometimes. Think of Solomon and David in the Bible – the wisest man and the man after God’s own heart. Even they let their guard down and were not able to have enough “self-control.” The more we safeguard ourselves and implement accountability, the better off we will be.

          • Haley

            You make a great point. I guess the “better safe than sorry” phrase really comes into play on this subject. I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time when I wrote that, but it’s a valid response. Sometimes self control isn’t enough because we can control ourselves all we want, but when our walls against impurity are lowered and lowered, temptations come creeping in and can consume us entirely to where we can’t fight it. Thank you for helping me realize that!

          • Elizabeth Williams

            Wow, those are some really good points! And so true!

      • Anne

        I agree, but the duggars had a post awhile ago that said, “not always in earshot, but always in sight.” So I think the do get to talk alone sometimes. I love the idea of dateship!

    • Hey Brooklyn, Thanks for sharing your thoughts! The Duggars believe courtship is more helpful in staying pure and staying accountable in your relationship. They are not fans of the “modern dating” system we see in our culture because it encourages casual romantic flings, is void of accountability, and usually doens’t have an end goal in mind. The Duggar girls desire to remain pure and save their entire hearts and bodies for their future husbands (as some have already done). Their relationship path might seem extreme to most people, but in the end, they probably make it to the wedding altar with few regrets. The idea of dateship is a combination of dating and courting. Some people call it “Dating with a purpose,” or “Biblical Dating.” The bottom line is that is encourages accountability, wisdom, input from parents, purity, and strives to avoid tempting situations. Is it intentional from the beginning. There is nothing “casual” about it. For more info on this topic, I highly encourage you to read an amazing article series by Scott Croft (from Boundless.org). You can find it here: http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2012/biblical-dating-how-its-different-from-modern-dating

  • Elizabeth Williams

    That’s funny that you’re dad told that guy no! lol I think for dating/courtship, you should really be focusing on marriage ,of course. And I totally agree with everything you said. I do think we have to be really careful being alone with a guy, but as you said, I think as the relationship becomes more serious, it’s okay to be alone with him some of the time. I also believe that it’s important that you go out in groups, not just to guard your flesh, but also so that you can see how he interacts with others. For instance, if I ever start dating(seems like I’m never gonna get a guy lol) I really want him to spend a lot of time with my family. First of all, so my parents can get to know him better, but also to just watch and see how he interacts with them. I think you can gain a lot of insight just by observing him(not in a creepy way!)

    • Hey Elizabeth! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!

  • CT

    I would probably go for an in-between of dating and courtship, starting out more courtship in the beginning and getting more serious towards the end after I have God’s leading for sure. The whole idea of casual dating especially in the beginning stage just seems to awkward for me. Being alone with a guy in the car or together at a coffee shop on the first day and thinking the whole time, “uhhh, so, ummm… how does this go?” with a lot of potential for mess-ups. It’s more comfortable as part of a group or including my family.

    • Love your thoughts CT. Sounds you have thought about this before! Thx for sharing.

  • Quite Distinguished

    “The relationship path you choose isn’t nearly as important as the Biblical principles you incorporate into what you do.” AMEN!!

    Personally, I believe the key to a Biblical approach is: WHO does this relationship/approach serve? If my aim is to serve my own needs or find my satisfaction or value in this-or-that man, it’s wrong—regardless of whether I call it “dating” or “courtship.” If my goal is to walk closer to Christ, to honor and serve Him, and to draw others into a closer walk with Him….then my relationship with a man (whatever I call it) will become an extension of that “bigger” goal.

    I have 2 sisters: one is married, and the other is currently in a very serious relationship. Both of their relationships have been long-distance. It’s been interesting to watch—in each case—how my parents and sisters approached the relationship. In one case, my parents called the relationship a courtship; the other, they’ve referred to as dating. In both cases, the men approached my dad after expressing initial interest to my sisters. My dad and each of these men were/are very purposeful about building their own relationship with each other in tandem with the men’s growing relationship with my sisters. My parents are definitely involved—not overly controlling—but in a guiding, counseling, and protecting role. Being long distance necessarily means you don’t really get “group time;” instead, much of the relationship plays out during “alone time” of a sort (via phone, email, and skype). However, we’ve still found ways for the families to meet and for both parties to see the other in their “home” settings. The desire of both men was/is to honor God and protect my sister’s heart throughout the entire process—and that’s been a HUGE factor in the trajectory of the relationships.

    • Hey Quite Distinguished! Great thoughts! Thank you for sharing. Sounds like your family has a good system and plan down. As far as online dating sites go…we have not had any personal experience with them. I have heard a lot of negative things about them and as well as positive. If they’re used, I think it needs to be done with great caution and accountability. I do know several conservative Christians who have use one of the Christian sites (not sure which one) and ended up meeting and marrying their spouses from it. Obviously good came from their experiences…but that’s not always the story. We’re not against online dating sites, but we’re also not raving fans. It just depends on the individual situation. 🙂 Hope that helps!

      • Quite Distinguished

        Thanks! 🙂 It’s definitely not fomulaic–as you mentioned in your post–but prayerful consideration of how to be most God-honoring in each different set of circumstances. So thankful for parents who model that and constantly point to Christ. It’s also good for me to see how it can work differently than most of the world…and pray that if marriage is in my future, my story will be just as much a testament to the grace and goodness of God. About online dating sites….I can definitely see the draw of online dating (convenience, the perception of safety…etc), but there is just something in me that isn’t 100% comfortable with the whole idea. I haven’t been able to put my finger on the specifics, but since I’m being asked more frequently now by friends “why (since you’re “obviously” not meeting any men where you are) don’t you try online?”, I’m struggling to articulate my thoughts without sounding like I’m anti-meeting-men.

        • CT

          If you read a lot of Leslie Ludy, she would be opposed to online dating due to the fact that it’s “me” control instead of God’s control. Personally I agree with her. Leslie’s attitude toward marriage and relationships is that you seek God first and supremely, letting Him have complete control and handing your love life over to Him. In His timing, He will bring a man into your life, if it’s His will for you to get married, even if it it seems impossible to you. That’s a very simple paraphrase — there’s a lot more behind what she thinks and why, which, in my opinion, is very solid.

  • Anonymous002

    Oh my word, girl!! I thought I might’ve been reading my own story when you were talking about that guy asking or your number.. scary similar down to the details!! Haha! A great article by the way, and I’d have to say I most closely agree with the date ship scenario 🙂

    • Anonymous002

      *for your number..* ^^

    • Oh how funny! It’s a small world I guess. Glad you enjoyed the article. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Abby

    YES! Soooo good! I love how you are not afraid to speak up about how important it is to have a serious, God-honoring relationship and not just some casual relationship that doesn’t go anywhere and is not God honoring. Great post! 🙂

  • Allie

    I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your advice. I love hearing about married women and their dating/courting opinions and how they worked/didn’t work. Digging deeper into the beginning of your post, I would love to hear your thoughts on how to handle offers for dates and when guys get close to you in ways that are and aren’t comfortable and godly. Thanks for always sharing just what I need to hear 🙂

  • Brooke

    I totally agree. I’m hoping to take a similar path as you and Zach did when I find the right guy! I have a question for you. How did you know that Zach was the right one for you Kristen?

  • Monty

    I am the mother of a 14 year old boy. The pack of friends (10-12 kids) my son hangs out with are a group of great boys … and girls – some go to our church and some do not. Oddly enough most of them live in our neighborhood. They are always doing things together in groups at someones house. Last week we had 7 of them 4 boys and 3 girls here for a few hours. They watched a football game for a while and then ascended to my sons room to play with his XBOX and chit chat about (we could overhear their conversation) the silliest things. My husband and I were in our room across the hall watching TV and they were instructed to keep the door open just like we were.

    We host them all here whenever we can so they will continue to “hang out” here where we can get to know them and supervise their activities. In a situation like this there is no exchange of phone numbers (because they are already friends with each other on-line) or asking parents if I can spend time with your son or daughter. Perhaps if he finds one of the girls more interesting than the others and wanted to spend more time with her we would encourage him to do as you have suggested with us accompanying them or having another couple go with them but honestly at this age we don’t want him looking at this very limited pool of neighborhood girls for his future wife.

    I am hoping he can have fun with his friends (boys and girls) and wait until college or beyond once he has focused on his interest in being an officer in the military to begin looking for the woman who will become his life partner. I guess we’ll see what God has planned but that’s my prayer for him anyway.

  • Rochelle

    Dear Kristen, I am always so glad to hear that what I have learned of what a good relantionship looks like over and over. More than reading again you made me think how carefully we need to be when it comes to dealing with our brother-in-Christ hearts too. Thank you writing this article down! May God bless you…and I hope in Jesus’ name I may have a saint relationship which I may honor God.

  • jiujitsulover

    I have a couple questions. 1.How did you know that Zach was the one?
    2. Is it a good idea/ is it okay to be boyfriend/girlfriend if you are in the dateship relationship?
    3. What is a good age to start dating/have a boyfriend?

    I am 15 (16 in 2 months) and I have only been in 1 date and never have had a boyfriend. My mom is still a little unsure about how I am going to date and all that jazz. She thinks that being boyfriend and girlfriend is making the relationship to exclusive. But what is the difference between being boyfriend and girlfriend and just going on dates with one another?

    Thanks for any answers! God Bless. 🙂

  • Ashley

    Wat do u don’t wen u don’t have a father figure for this case (other than God the Father of course). I’m going to high school soon and would really like to know how I should handle myself as God’s daughter and not have a whole fish out of water essence. Would like to keep everything pure:-) Also an amazing article glory be to God, and God blss 🙂 ;-)♡

  • Letic

    Hi Kristen, what should a girl do if a guy doesn’t want her number but still chats with on Facebook?

  • Andrea M

    In our Mennonite circles, we practice something like courtship, or maybe more like “dateship”. This article was really interesting!
    In our church, we have a youth group. Since I am homeschooled, this is my social life 😛 Guys and girls intermingle (sometimes not at much as desired…we seem to have a problem with segregation..haha) and play games, have Bible studies, always with adult chaperones.
    Brandon (my boyfriend) started pursuing a friendship with me…talking about dating, as it was obvious we were both attracted. When we decided to take the official step and be in a dating relationship, he asked my Dad for permission. We’ve been dating for a month. It has included times with mutual friends, youth group, time spent with my family, and a few hours alone each weekend to get to know each other personally. Physical contact is limited to hugs and holding hands. We’re both saving our first kiss.
    This article helped me see the differences in “dating” and “courtship”. I would call our relationship somewhere between the two! 😛

  • Gabrielle

    Well, I think it’s not so much the word you use, because both dating and courting are often synonymously used. I’ll share my thoughts, and when I say dating I’m using it in the context of modern dating. Courting has the specific purpose to marry, and is the time when two people are spending time with each other and each other’s families so that they can get to know one another better. People today date a person just because they’re outwardly attracted to them, and the intention is to have fun, get physical, and please themselves. As they date one person and another, the girls hearts are broken, and neither the guy or girl can give their whole heart to the person they eventually marry. Modern dating, along with having no intention to marry, is usually just the two people. With courting, the two people want their families and friends to be involved and hold them accountable. Again, it’s not so much which word you use, but what you are actually doing. Are you using biblical principles, or modern methods of dating. I personally prefer using the word courting because I don’t want to be associated with the methods of modern dating.

  • Erica

    I think what you did was/is a great idea! I’m 14 and starting to think about what path I should take. Some days I was way on the Courtship side, but some of it seems too harsh and strict while dating is too lose. Dateship is a great idea. I know I don’t want to date because dating has no purpose. I do think that your relationship is kind of what I want mine to be. Thanks for showing me another option!!

  • Kaylee O’Brien

    I hope to pursue my future romantic relationships in a dateship fashion. And by future I mean all my romantic relationships, because I am still in high school. Personally, I don’t 100% see myself as a mother or even a wife in the future. I want to, but my hopes aren’t riding on it fully. So I would like to be married and have children, but its not the only life I can see myself leading, if that makes sense. That being said, when I do start dating, it will be very intentional and led by the Spirit and God’s Word. I won’t turn 18 and start dating the first christian boy who asks me, not that anyone is waiting in line. I will start dating when I see a man that could *possibly* be my husband. This post was insightful and I hope everyone who reads it can get something good out of it, even if they disagree with some things in it.

  • Lauren

    WOW! So enlightening. I am totally choosing this path of dateship. I’m only thirteen but already planning how I will honor God in my life ahead. Thank you:)

  • m

    Interesting post, I will probably dateship, but won’t have the guy ask my dad’s permission, I am my own person and shouldn’t need my dad to say what I can and can’t do when I’m an adult and not even living with my parents!

  • Mattea

    Thanks for proposing dateship!! I was back and forth btw courtship and dating. And getting worried as I didn’t want to be waffling when the time came and I got emotionaly involved with someone which would influence my powers of decision making! This post helped a lot. Thank you!

  • Zariah

    I’ve been in a serious friendship with a guy. We like each-other alot! I do have a question though. I do not want to date anyone that I do not think has potential to be a husband in him. So I was wondering if there are any signs I should look out for?

  • Pingback: Should Christian Girls Date Non-Christian Guys? (FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY)()

  • Mimi

    There’s a boy in my Christian co op algebra class who is devotedly Christian and shoes pure, clean interest in me. I like him just as much. The only x is that were both only 14 and I’m not sure if that’s a good age for ‘liking’. I plan on staying a virgin until marriage, and saving my first kiss for my wedding day. Kristen, do you have a clean way of going about this? I’ve prayed about it and I think he approves, but how do I really KNOW? Thanks

  • Kyla Peterson

    LOVE this! I am kinda between dateship and courtship right now and I am so excited where the Lord is leading my relationship with my very good guy friend. Thanks for sharing! Such fantastic encouragement!

  • ChelseaMarie13

    Hi Kristen. Do you have any advice when it comes to long-distance relationships and what the best way to get to know someone is and at what pace without the ability to go on dates for the time being ?

  • Horse Lover

    Ah this is so so helpful!! I think it is a powerful tool just to know what each path is and then (Like Kristen did) you can combined which ever one’s you want!

  • Erika

    I hope I can be patient enough! I really hope my future husband will speak to my father about a potential relationship first – it just sounds super romantic!


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