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What Your Dream Guy Wants in a Girl

By: Bethany Beal

I recently did an interview on the topic of dating, marriage and courtship. I was giving my thoughts on romance, boundaries, guys and how I want my future relationship to work out.

One of the questions the lady interviewing me asked was “what qualities are you looking for in guy?” 

Talk about a super basic question that I should easily know the answer to. Wrong! I was totally caught off guard and had to scramble to give an answer. It had been awhile since I’d seriously thought through that question and wasn’t really prepared.

After the interview I rethought through her question and was pretty satisfied with my “on the spot” answer.

I told the lady that I was praying for a man who: 

1. Is concerned about glorifying God with his life.

2. Has an eternal mindset (not just living for the here and now.)

3. Loves children and desires a family.

4. Has a passion for ministering to the people around him.

My dream guy.

After stewing on that question for a few more days and thinking through my idea of a “dream guy,” I have a few things I need to say.

First let me ask you about your dream guy. If I were to ask you what qualities are you looking for in guy?” what would you say? I want you to stop reading this post, grab a piece of a paper and write down your answers.

Now let’s imagine that your “dream guy” is alive and living and currently looking for a wife. Remember this guy is godly, loves the Lord, loves his family, loves children, wants to serve God with his life and has a great relationship with God.

This awesome guy is looking in his church, looking in his community, looking at school, looking, looking, looking. He is looking for a woman who has a similar heart and passion as his own.

This type of guy is looking for a wife who:  

1. Is concerned about glorifying God with her life.

2. Has an eternal mindset (not just living for the here and now).

3. Loves children and desires a family.

4. Has a passion for ministering to the people around her.

You see where I’m going with this? 

I’m all for you having a list of the character qualities you are looking for in a future husband. I want you to be serious about the type of man you hope to marry someday. I hope you are WAY more concerned about finding a guy with godly character over a hot guy that’s just “okay” spiritually.

But I’m concerned.

I’m concerned that we aren’t the type of girl that a godly guy would choose. I’m concerned that a great, awesome, spiritually solid man would look around and then look right past.

A great guy wants a great girl. 

I don’t want a great guy to look past you or me. I want him to look at you and say, “Wow! That is the type of woman I want to marry. That is the kind of woman I want raising my children.”  A great guy is going to want a great girl. He is going to want to marry a woman who has similar spiritual qualities and passions as himself.

If a guy is passionate about spending time in God’s Word every day, why would he go for a girl who maybe reads her Bible once every couple of weeks?

If a guy loves his current family and has great vision for his future family, why would he go for a girl who can barely stand her family?

If a guy loves sharing the Gospel, why would he go for a girl who doesn’t see the need to do that?

Become the type of girl your dream guy would desire. 

I want you to grab that piece of paper you wrote on earlier and look through the qualities you wrote down. Do you have those same character qualities in your own life? Would that guy on your paper go for you?

I challenge you to tape that piece of paper to your bathroom mirror, or somewhere you will see it, and work on becoming that type of girl. Pray over that paper and ask God to make you a godly woman. Pray and ask God to help you build those very qualities in your own life.

For more ideas on how to apply this, check out my VIDEO “Praying For Your Future Husband.” 

You can become the type of girl that a godly man is praying for. You can become a woman who is “worth far more than rubies.”  There are godly guys growing into godly men who will need godly wives. If not me and you then who? Let’s rise to the occasion girls.

Think about it…  

What qualities are on your list? Why are those important to you?

Would that type of guy desire a girl like you? Why?

How can you become the girl a godly man would be looking for?

What Your Dream Guy Wants in a Girl

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26 Responses to What Your Dream Guy Wants in a Girl

  1. Kristina Stutzman says:

    Amen! Thank you for the reminder! Something has come clear to me a few years back when my dad said, “be yourself and strive to become who God has called you to be and the guy will show up where you are”. I hope that made sense. I don’t remember the exact words he said but, what he meant was what your blog says. A reminder was great!!!

  2. CT says:

    “3. Loves children and desires a family.”

    Yes I love children, and I love working with children (that is a component of my part-time job as a high schooler), but I can’t really dwell on that thought too much otherwise I get a little uncomfortable. Any thoughts?

    • Karen Slabach says:

      I’m not exacly sure I’m answering your question but if you’re wondering if its ok to have that desire for a family and children of your own… absolutely! 🙂 God created us as women with a nurturing spirit and we don’t have to feel ashamed of that because its a God given desire! Also I know there are guys who love kids and definitely want a family! I think its a fact that for most of there’s nothing more attractive than seeing a guy playing with children and you can tell that they absolutely adore him! So know that they’re out there! 🙂 Blessings!

    • GirlDefined says:

      It’s important to remember that God only gives you the grace for the here and now. When the time comes for you to start your own family God will give you the strength and grace to handle it 🙂

  3. Karen Slabach says:

    Thanks for the reminder! I needed it. 🙂

  4. Leah Rahim says:

    Wow! That was a total eye opener for me. Thank you so much for the post 🙂

  5. Melea says:

    So true!!! 🙂 Thanks for this post!

  6. A.A. says:

    So I stopped to right all the qualities down, and as I was writing them it hit me that if this guy showed up at my church he wouldn’t even consider me as a possible wife. And then I read the rest of the post and that’s what you were saying. Everytime I read something y’all have written, God convicts me of that thing. It’s pretty amazing.

  7. Audra says:

    i really love this perspective. i have a list of qualities that i am looking for in a guy that i keep in my Bible. it really helps me to keep my focus on what’s important in a guy and to not be swayed by certain guys who come along. but i’ve been convicted recently of making sure that i am working on the same quality traits that i hope for in a guy. i hadn’t given it much thought though, so reading your article makes me want to write out the same qualities for myself and to make sure that i am becoming the girl that a godly guy would want. i can’t change just by thinking about it 🙂

  8. Roanne Grace Legaspi Celiz says:

    So true 🙂 we can’t just write a long list of qualities without becoming itself first and foremost..^_^ thanks for this lovely post

  9. Sabrina Hubbard says:

    Great article.. Thanks so much for posting this 🙂

  10. Abby says:

    This is sooo good! thanks for posting this article 🙂

  11. Cassandra Spiller says:

    Love this!

  12. Ann Garcia says:

    wow! what a great reflection. Thanks 🙂

  13. Grace says:

    So True! Thanks for the reminder

  14. hannah Mwilambwe says:

    I have written down a list of what I want him to be but not specific prayer points..tonight I will write it down and am gonna pray like never before..thank you very much for sharing this..I watched your video too..nice one..thanks again..

  15. Annalysa says:

    This is so good! A friend posted this and I am so glad she did – I just found this website!!!!

  16. Kaylee O'Brien says:

    This post really made me think! I thought it was great.
    Bethany, do you believe all married women have to have children and if so, why? I would love to hear your opinion on it or anyone else’s opinion for that matter.

    • GirlDefined says:

      @kaylee_o_brien:disqus Great question! That is something Kristen and I have both thought a lot about. Here is the conclusion we’ve come to. Not every married woman will have children due to the fall and the fact that not every woman will be capable.

      Despite whether a woman is physically capable of having children or not, the Bible makes it very clear that children are a blessing and that children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior. Children are considered good gifts and something that we as woman should welcome into our lives.

      When I get married I plan on doing the same thing Kristen is doing. I plan on being totally open towards having children and allowing the Lord to bring them or not bring them in His perfect timing.

      I hope that helps 🙂

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