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Epic Wisdom From a Thirty Nine Year Old Wife and Mom

By: Bethany Baird

Every now and then I meet an older gal who strikes me as a seriously godly woman, a woman whom I hope to be like someday. Today, I want to introduce you to one of those godly gals.

Say hello to Amanda.

She’s a super sweet thirty-nine-year-old awesome wife and an amazing mom to four adorable boys. She’s packed full of wisdom and has shared some of her secrets below.

Check it out.

Why is your relationship with God so important to you?

I belong to God, first because He created me and a second time because He bought me with the death of His Son and made me His own. I cannot find my purpose and happiness apart from the One who created me and purchased me.

Psalm 16 informs me why my relationship with Him is important:

He is my safest refuge. I cannot count on good looks, money, or abilities for security—He is my only refuge (v. 1).

Apart from Him “I have no good.” Any good that I will experience will be found in my relationship with Him. If I neglect my relationship with Him, I can be sure that no good will come of it (v. 2).

My sorrows will increase if I pursue other things to satisfy me (v. 4).

With Him, I have a beautiful inheritance (v. 6).

How do you practically maintain a solid devotional time? Do you have any tips for us?

My beliefs are proven by my actions. If I say I love God more than anything else, yet I neglect to spend time with him, then I prove that I treasure something else more than Him. I have to remind myself of this regularly.

I also look to the examples I have in older women who follow the Lord. I admire their relationships with the Lord and the wisdom and knowledge they have. I will not wake up one day and suddenly be like them! A solid devotional time is essential.

Here are some practical tips for how to make it happen:

  1. A good devotional time begins the night before. You will sacrifice your devotional time by staying up too late.
  2. Put your phone in another room when you go to bed. Don’t let it be the last thing you see when you go to bed or the first thing you see when you wake up.
  3. Keep your Bible, journal, and a pen in a quiet, distraction-free spot that you can go directly to when you wake up. (My closet is sometimes the only quiet, distraction-free spot in the house, and that’s great!)
  4. Follow a Bible-reading plan. Find one online that will eventually take you through the whole Bible (even if it takes more than a year) or make a plan yourself to study the Bible strategically and then follow it.
  5. Do it when you don’t feel like it. The more you consume the Word, the hungrier you will be for it.

If you could go back in time and give your eighteen-year-old self some advice, what would you say?

You are not too young to invest in eternal things.

You are not too young to serve in your church in significant ways.

You will never regret a single minute you spend studying the Word of God. Read it, meditate on it, memorize it, make it such a part of your life that you consider every circumstance through the filter of Scripture.

What were some of the biggest lies you believed as a teen girl, and how would you encourage a girl if she were struggling with those same things?

Lie: I believed that being popular would make me feel like I was worth something.

Truth: Your worth is not found in who likes you, who admires you, or who is envious of you. You have worth because you are created in the image of God. You have worth because He paid a great price to bring you into a relationship with Him.

Lie: I believed that if I acted right God would protect me from suffering.

Truth: We live in a fallen world and suffering is a part of it—for all of us (1 Peter 4:12–13). God uses the pain and suffering of this fallen world to deepen our relationship with Him and make us more like Christ. There is great purpose in suffering. If Christ, who lived an absolutely righteous life, was called the Man of Sorrows, then we who are His followers should expect to experience sorrow as well. It does not diminish His power or His goodness.

Lie: I believed that choosing the right guy would lead to happily ever after. I believed that marriage would make me happy.

Truth: Choosing the right guy is incredibly important (don’t marry a man who doesn’t fear the Lord!), but God won’t be finished with you at that point. You will not have arrived. God will use that man to reveal selfishness and pride in your heart. The truth is that God’s primary intent for marriage is not to make us happy; it’s to make us holy (Gary Thomas: Sacred Marriage).

What advice can you give a single girl desiring marriage?

Instead of focusing on finding the right guy, spend your energy on becoming the woman God has created you to be. Get involved in your church and invest your free time in spiritual growth in yourself and in others.

You are not a junior varsity Christian because you are not married. You can have maximum kingdom impact in your singleness, even because of your singleness.

In what ways do you think you could have better prepared for the role of a wife and mom?

Hands down, knowing the Word of God better would have better prepared me. I would have known more of God’s character, I would have better understood my own sinful, prideful heart, and I would have been better prepared to act in humility and submission to God and to my husband.

Learning how to become a godly woman is not easy. That is why Kristen and I wrote Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and identity. We want young women and women to have an easy-to-understand book that will teach and show them how to live out biblical womanhood in our modern times. I encourage you to check it if you desire to grow in this area.

It’s Your Turn

What jumps out at you from my interview with Amanda?

If your beliefs are proven by your actions, what does your commitment to a personal quiet time show?

Can you identify with any of the lies Amanda shared? Which ones?

PHOTO CREDIT

husband and wife

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  • Rachel M.

    What an amazing article! Amanda seems like such a godly woman who really strives to please the Lord in everything she does. It is such an encouragement to see people serving God and helping others do the same. Thank you for sharing this interview. It encouraged me so much.

  • Stephanie Ann

    What stood out to me was when Amanda quotes,” The truth is that God’s primary intent for marriage is not to make us happy; it’s to make us holy (Gary Thomas: Sacred Marriage)”. This is so powerful! As someone in my young twenties I feel like this is the message that needs to be spoken yet is hardly touched or even talked about! So often we are so focused in our own little worlds focusing rather on what makes “me” happy. Marriage is great and by all means brings glory to God but it is not the end all be all. It’s not even to created to ensure we have eternal happiness in our spouse. Rather it was created to sanctify us and chisel at our character and make us more a little more like God each day. What an exciting and humbling thing to look forward to!

  • Olivia Hopper

    Ahh this is seriously such a blessing. It really is just what I needed to hear and read. God spoke to my heart as I read this. Psalm 16 stands out to me, and I plan to memorize and meditate on it. Thank you so much for writing this and letting God use you.

  • Heather Hemsley

    Mmm, thank you so much Amanda! 🙂

  • Lexi

    I know this has nothing to do with this post…but I could use some advice. So I recently(like yesterday) just finished up watching CBS’s “The Case of Jonbenét Ramsey”. I thought I was fine while watching it, but now… I’m not so sure. It really bothered me that someone could do that to a little child. It kind of followed me around today, in the fact that when I do somethjng, sometimes I’ll think “she’ll never get to do this”. In a way, it’s kind of ‘scarred’ me. And to add to that, I’m scared out of my mind. What if that happens to me? And the family, I think “wow, if it’s this bad for me and I’ve never even MET them…” anyways, if anyone could offer advice or even just pray for me, that’d be great. Thanks and God bless to all of you.

  • Joanna

    Thank you so much for interviewing Amanda! This was helpful.

  • Eunice

    Thanks a million :):):)

  • Dimpho Mathibe

    What stood out for me was when Amanda said that God will use that man to reveal selfishness and pride in your heart. I think that many times we buy into the lie that marriage is paradise from the very beginning, and we forget that the wedding day is just a day but marriage is all the other days after that. It’s easy to hide parts of ourselves in friendships and courtships, but once you say those vows you become tired of holding up the facade. I’ve heard many times that the first two years of marriage are the hardest, and that’s probably because from the moment you enter your marital home you can’t take a time out and decide to see him tomorrow. Love is a choice, so you have to choose everyday to fight for your marriage, and not fight each other or what work God is doing in your hearts. Thank you for this insightful post.

  • Ana

    “The truth is that God’s primary intent for marriage is not to make us happy; it’s to make us holy” is what stood out for me. I thought amid the suffering of our life, and since marriage is blessed by God, it would be the source of happiness. Wonderful post with great advice <3

  • Johanna

    Wow! Three things really stood out to me here. When Amanda said “The truth is that God’s primary intent for marriage is not to make us happy; it’s to make us holy” , “God will use that man to reveal selfishness and pride in your heart.” and “Instead of focusing on finding the right guy, spend your energy on becoming the woman God has created you to be. Get involved in your church and invest your free time in spiritual growth in yourself and in others.” These three things stood out to me because the first two I never really knew and the last one is something I need to practice more. Thanks for the Advice Amanda it really helps. ♥

  • Abbie

    Wow! This was sooooo good! Just what I needed. What stood out to me was Amanda’s incredible commitment to God’s Word. Thanks for such an awesome post. 🙂

  • Delali Avevor

    loved this!

  • Lyn

    Thanks Sisters for this post! About lie #2 (suffering experienced by believers), the Bible teaches us that God allows suffering because it refines our faith (1 Peter 1:6-7), but also because it gives us more compassion. “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2Cor. 1:4 NLT) Thus we can walk in our Master’s, Jesus-Christ’s, footsteps and bring healing to brokenhearts in His matchless & mighty name.God bless! XO 🙂


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