What Every Girl Needs to Know About Her Outward Appearance

By: Kristen Clark

Her hair was long and beautiful. It was thick and luscious. As she highlighted my hair in the salon, I couldn’t help but compliment her.

“I just love your hair!” I said enthusiastically. I expected her to accept my compliment with satisfaction, but she didn’t.

“Oh…thanks!” she said laughing out loud. “It’s actually not my hair…well, at least not most of it.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah, it’s actually mostly hair extensions. My real hair is short and thin.” She said with a wink.

She went on to explain how their salon offered a high quality fusion hair extension service.

They would fuse real pieces of hair onto the ends of the clients hair to give them a natural looking set of long locks.

“And it only costs around $1,000,” she said matter of factly. “And you only have to re-fuse every few months.”

By the time I left that salon I could have signed up for fusion extension, eyelash extensions, a tanning membership, bi-weekly pedi/mani package, and a weekly cellulite massage treatment.

For a couple thousand dollars a month, I too could be beautiful.

That little conversation reminded me of how crazy the beauty industry is in this modern age. As women, we’re offered every product and treatment to fix all of our “imperfections.” We’re offered solutions to get our dream body and finally achieve lasting beauty.

Sadly though, despite our billion dollar beauty industry, women and girls are feeling less beautiful than ever before.

With all of the beauty products available to us today, we should be the happiest and most satisfied females in the history of the world.

But we’re not.

In fact, if you asked any female today if she loved everything about her physical appearance, she would probably say no.

Let’s make it personal. If you stood in front of a mirror right now, would you see all of your flaws? Would you focus on all of your imperfections?

Sadly, as modern girls, most of us are extremely insecure and discontent with our physical bodies because we’ve been lured into a sneaky lie. We’ve bought into the lie that physical beauty comes in a one-size-fits-all mold.

We see the female movie stars, we see the magazines, we see the billboards. We look at the women that society upholds as “beautiful” and then try to squeeze our bodies into their mold.

Without even realizing it, we try fit into our culture’s mold for physical beauty.

And if we don’t measure up in certain areas (not tall enough, not short enough, not skinny enough, not tan enough, not toned enough), we become discontent.

And that discontentment will drive some of us to do whatever it takes to fix the “problem.”

Even if our beauty “problem” gets fixed, we will still find ourselves discontent about something else. The carrot of perfection is always just out of reach.

Thankfully, God had something much better in mind when He created our physical beauty.

The one-size-fits-all mold is the last thing God desired when He created us!

Our God is a creative God and had a plan when he chose to make each woman look different. Instead of making every woman the same, he handcrafted each of us to look beautifully different.

Psalm 139:13-14 reminds us that God handcrafted us in our mother’s womb and that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image!  

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

God chose to create us to be beautiful in our own unique ways.

Some of us have been handcrafted with brown hair, blonde hair, red hair, blue eyes, brown eyes, long legs, short legs, large frames, small frames, etc.

Each of us have been handcrafted by our Creator to the look just the way we do! And it’s a beautiful array of colors!

God didn’t handcraft us to look different, only for us to decide that we should all look the same.

Think of it this way.

Flowers are beautiful and unique each in their own way. We can appreciate and enjoy the sunflower for its unique beauty and at the same time appreciate the rose for its unique beauty. They look nothing alike, but they’re both beautiful.

Flowers come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, but they’re each beautiful in their own way.

Our world wouldn’t be as colorful if every flower was the same. Now imagine if all the flowers decided they should look like the sunflower…how boring would that be?! They are each handcrafted by God and carry their own unique beauty.

We, as women, are the exact same.

Our differences create a beautiful bouquet of colors that would not be there if we all looked the same.

Instead of trying to fit a one-size-fits-all mold for beauty, we need to take a step back and remember this flower example. You are a beautiful woman created by God and your physical appearance is a reflection of God’s creativity.

Instead of buying into the endless lies of our culture, let’s instead thank our Creator for loving us enough to give us beautiful and individual looks. Let’s thank our Creator for giving us unique bodies that each reflect a beautiful part of His creativity.

You are beautiful just the way God created you, and He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Do you believe Him? Next time you look in the mirror, choose to thank God for handcrafting you to look the just the way you do. Beautiful. Unique. Special. 

Share your thoughts with me below. 

  • In what ways have you struggled with embracing your outward appearance?
  • Leave me a comment below and let me know one unique thing about your physical appearance that you’re grateful to God for.

For an in-depth study on God’s amazing design for beauty, check out our book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and identity.

Photo Credit: Here 

Girl with long hair.

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  • Sarah

    What a cool post Kristen! Such an awesome analogy 🙂
    I’ve struggled, and occasionally still do, with comparing my body image with other girls. But I’m thankful to God for giving me my silky hair!

  • Jenna Nolten

    This is a really lovely post! I have purposefully stopped dyeing my hair since a half a year or so in order to accept myself a bit more the way I am and created. I have been trying to stay away from all the fake stuff, even though that is quite hard! Reading this makes me wonder though.. (this is not criticism! I am just honestly curious) your hair is dyed isn’t it? If not, sorry it did seem that way, If yes, what made you make that decision?


    • Jade

      I’m pretty sure their whole family is blonde! So I’m guessing it’s natural.

      • Jenna Nolten

        Thanks for answering! I was doubting about it, because the roots of their hair seems darker. But you are right, many of them are blonde too, so it probably must be natural

  • Mikayla

    Thank you for helping me realize that I am beautiful despite my imperfections! I have been feeling really depressed about it lately. It helps me to know I’m not alone!

  • Karli Evelyn

    This could not have come at a better time for me! Lately I’ve really been comparing myself with others. Hating my skin. Hating my hair. Hating my clothes. But God always comes and reminds me that HE has created me and He makes no mistakes. Thank you for this AWESOME reminder!

  • Giselle

    I remember being extermely self conscious as a teenager. All my peers seemed so much prettier, guys would chase after them, and I truly believed I was ugly and worthless for being different than them. It was something God worked in me patiently through the years. Of course I’m not perfect, but now I’m able to look myself at the mirror and find features I like. I love my brown eyes, my thick lips, my tan skin, and long legs. Whenever I think I’m not beautiful I remind myself I was ‘wonderfully made’ by God, and by calling myself ugly I’m despising His work.

  • Carla

    Thank you for the post! It’s so true! Everything around us is telling us that we have to be this or that way to be beautiful. They tell us that beauty comes in only one way and that’s all. It’s really sad when we decide to believe the lie!. We jump into it and almost live there. we have our powerful God that created us and He tells us we are His masterpiece and He loves us….why is so difficult to believe that sometimes? Is the world stronger than our God? Of course not!. I’ve struggled with weight since I was 8 more or less. I used to think I was sooooo ugly (that thought comes and goes now). May I be completely honest here? (My biggest fear is that I believe that God made me beautiful….in every part of my lite…but what if I’m perverting His desing by not eating properly or refusing to work out?. Is not taking care of myself a sin? I know it is. Then…why is so diffcult to just do it? I’m trying to eat healthy and work out but I feel I’m getting nowhere.. When I reach to this point It’s sometimes imposible to see me as beautiful cause I know it’s my fault. I KNOW God loves me anyway and He will help me…I just needed to put it into words =). Blessings from Argentina!!

    • Giselle

      Hey Carla. Answering your question: loving ourselves and honoring God also requires self care. Developing healthy habbits and keeping them is a great way to be thankful to God, even though we think it’s not making much differnece. I understand your struggle because I feel the same, but I also believe God is more interested in our persistence than our results 🙂

      • Carla

        Hi Giselle! I totally agree! God gave us our body and we must take care of it. It took me a long time to underestand this. Besides…I saw everything from the wrong angle… I used to think that I had to lose weight to be beautiful and that was it. Lately I’m underestanding that I am already beautiful and what I need is a change of habits to be healthy =D. God is so good…He is with me in every step and won’t leave me.
        I really liked the last sentence you wrote too…He knows our weakness and struggles…He wants us to give our best and He does the rest =)

        • Jade

          Carla, if this seems really random I’m sorry.. but have you heard of Trim Healthy Mama? It’s a book written by two homeschooling mothers who spent a lifetime researching nutrition and how different foods affect your weight. Trim Healthy Mama is a growing movement among homeschoolers and others, as more and more people hear about it. They have a really biblical food philosophy – the Bible talks about every food group being good! They just share about what foods groups to eat together – for instance, don’t eat fats and carbs in the same meal. They have delicious recipes and replacements for the few things you don’t have (such a sugar and white bread and pasta, etc.), and my mother lost weight with it, as well as heaps of other people! You really should just search “Trim Healthy Mama” on google or something, and read about it! I’m only sharing this because you shared your struggles and I think this really could help you. I feel sorry for people who are trying to control their weight but think that they have to do massive workouts and only eat lettuce to do so, when there’s a delicious and healthy way of keeping your weight in check! By the way, this is from a girl who definitely has a “chunky” build but is using THM principles to keep it in check 🙂 Much love 🙂

          • Carla

            hi Jade! it,´s not random at all, thank you so much! By the way I used to think that exactly. That all I needed was to work out very hard and eat awful food. I am in the process of learning….(basically forget all things I knew and believed and letting God guide me in EVERYTHING). This is why your answer is really helpful right now! Besides I underestood something in the past few months…here it goes: God is not calling us to be thin and that`s it. He wants us to be healthy, to take care and love us the way He does. So the weght loss is the beggining…not the end of the way. We have to change our ways of living by learning a new life style. I made that mistake soo many times….I even lost a large amount of pounds once, but of course they all returned (even more) because I hadn`t underestood anything, all I wanted at that moment was to be thin. We have such and awesome Father, don`t we? He is besides us in every step of the way, sometimes conforting us, others correcting but everytime loving us.
            Once again…thank you Jade! I love finding people like you….you are sooooo far away but at the same time near in God =), blessings!

          • Jade

            You are so right, and it’s lovely to encourage/be encouraged with other like-minded girls!
            It’s funny, we are both international readers – I’m from Australia! What I love is that no matter where we are, we will all be together one day, which is so cool! And then we won’t even have to worry about these things…. =)

          • Carla

            Exaaaaactly…..looking foward yo meet you in eternity then =D

          • Rachel M.

            I would also recommend Dashing Dish. It is all about eating clean and taking care of your body to glorify God.

  • Rebekah Teravskis

    Thank you Kristen for this wonderful blog! I still give into that lie of not being beautiful enough every now and then and this is a great reminder that God designed me the way I am. This is such a legitimate struggle for girls. Why, I don’t know. I can be told to my face be five different people on the same day that I am so beautiful and gorgeous but in my head I still don’t believe it. Thank you helping us girls stay on the right track and not lose site that God still loves us the way we are.

  • What a wonderful post! For me I’d have to say my teeth. My teeth aren’t perfectly white and certainly are not the straightest. For awhile I thought “If they were white and straight I’d be really happy.” but thankfully God got ahold of me and changed my view. So, now if my teeth are fixed or not it really wouldn’t be the end of the world. : ) One thing I like is my long hair, it took forever to grow it, so I’m thankful for it.

  • Sarah A.

    Thanks so much for this post, Kristen, I really needed it. The flower analogy was very helpful to me.
    One thing I’m grateful for about my physical appearance is my hair color. When I was a baby, I had red hair and then it changed and I had light brown hair. But, as I’ve gotten older, my hair has gotten to be a darker brown and I’ve started noticing that I have natural red highlights, so whenever the light shines on my hair just right, it looks more reddish brown and I like it.
    Btw, I love your writing style on your blog posts, it feels very personal. 🙂

    • Rachel M.

      I have natural red highlights too! I love it when the sun shines on my hair and I see the red. I love red hair.

      • Sarah A.

        Yes! I think red hair is really beautiful. Mine show up the most when my hair’s wet and I’m outside, so sometimes, if the light’s right, my hair looks dark red!

        • Elsöz Metin

          Dear Sarah A. When I Young was be red my Hair but after Coffee Colour been ! Me too, I was liked ! Of Red & Coffee Colour’s. Now a little white Colour found I, but my Hair’s was be Black Colour after Young ! I say Sorry ! Of Rachel M. if was be 3 day’s too. My DISQUS showed I& I told You a little I & I learned You & The Women’s a little ! Namely I am Happy ! Thank You DISQUS !Thank You ! Sarah A. ! Good Morning ! & Bye bye !

          • Elsöz Metin

            Dear Sarah A. – Thank You ! I say that I be busy in only Babylon Translate’ s work Place’s ! Other Place’s second place’s I ! Sorry ! & Bye bye !

      • Elsöz Metin

        Dear Rachel M. ! I had natural red, Or a little like Coffee red Colour Hair when I been Very Young ! But now white Colours came, after be much Hair Black Colour in I to in my Young time be its Red & Coffee Colour’s Hair ! I have Of old Time’s a Photo, & me too, I love red hair ! I say Sorry ! Of Dear Sarah A. for I wrote You before She write !If be 4 days too, my DISQUS showed I& I wrote! Happy Good Life Dear Rachel M. & Sarah A. ! Good Morning ! You Of I ! I am ‘Hi, Hi, !Metin’ & Bye bye !

  • Heather Hemsley

    Amazing post, Kristen 🙂 Thank you!

    • Clara

      HI HEATHER!!!

      • Heather Hemsley

        HEY CLARA!!!

  • Hope Hemsley

    Thanks for posting this Kristen! This has definitely been a challenge for me. Every time I look at the mirror, I tend to point out my flaws. And sometimes I even start becoming jealous of my friends because of their beauty.
    But like you said with the flowers, God created us to be unique!
    Thank you for your encouraging blogs 🙂

    • Clara

      HI HOPE!!!

      • Hope Hemsley

        Well hello there Clara! 😀

  • Thank you Kristen! This helped me put outward beauty in a more God honoring perspective. 🙂

  • Anne Isabelle

    I love this post! I have struggled with many things over time– especially what people think of me. I am quite tall (5’10”) and so sometimes I am tempted to wish that I was shorter… but then I remember how many people want to be tall and how God gave me my height, and those thoughts disappear 🙂 I think my favorite thing about myself is my eyes/eyelashes (my eyelashes are so dark and thick it looks like I’m wearing mascara <3) and just the build of my body. I am tall and lean, and have been gifted with strength! Thank you, Kristen, for this reminder of our God-given, unique beauty!

  • Abigail Jackson

    Well said, Kristen! So many girls miss out on this important aspect. Usually it’s kind of unconscious too…being bombarded by the media 24/7 makes it hard to pinpoint where all of those crazy beauty standards are coming from. So true that we have to focus on God and what HE thinks of us!

  • Elizabeth

    Thank you Kristen!
    This a good reminder for all that God gave us a beautiful body and that we should be thankful!

  • Lauren

    I can’t help but sometimes feel like I’m ugly. God may think i’m beautiful, but no one on Earth ever will.

    • Rachel M.

      You are beautiful. God made you so uniquely that no one can explain how He made you look just so.

  • Lauren

    I often have struggles with beauty. The only thing that worries me is I won’t be beautiful enough to be loved by someone on Earth. The most important thing, is that I am beautiful in God’s eyes (Not mine, or anyone else’s.)

    • Rachel M.

      I always worry that no one will love me here on earth. I always remind myself to wait on God’s timing. It is nice to know that someone understands how I feel.

  • Daughter of the one True King

    One thing I love that God gave me is my hair. It’s thick, long, and healthy. In the winter it becomes a dark chocolate brown. Then in the summer it turns light brown with perfect natural highlights. I’m not saying that I don’t struggle with other features of my body; we all have something we don’t like about ourselves. But I’m going to start focusing on the good and remember that I am uniquely hand craft by God.

    • Rachel M.

      That is true for me as well except for the dark chocolate brown. My hair is brown, but it is slightly lighter. Everyone compliments me on my thick, long hair and how great my highlights look. What they don’t know is that I have never highlighted my hair ever. I love my hair. I thank God for it everyday because I know some people don’t have any hair and would kill just to have a little bit of hair.

  • Marion Collins

    My hair is long and I would not have it any other way!

    • Rachel M.

      Yes. For sure.

  • Shanice Smith

    Hey I’m Shanice, thanks for writing this . This has made me one step closer to God. So happy I’m growing spiritually. I’m blossoming into that beautiful girl I’ve always wanted to be. While others put huge value on the outward man, I’m putting value on the innerman and I’m learning to love my outward man. It feels so good to know that God loves the way I am and to know that he took the time to make me. Wow! Once again I’m blown away by his love, which attracted me to surrender my life and look to the cross in the first place. May God continue to bless your ministry, May you prosper , my your lives continue to portray God’s character.

  • Grace Ndolo

    Thanks ,for writing this…am encouraged to appreciate myself, despite the society defining beautiful as tall and lean.

    • Rachel M.

      I totally get it. I am super short and curvy. The struggle is real.

  • Rachel M.

    Thank you so much for this beautiful post. You are so encouraging.

  • Mimi

    Hi, guys!

    My name is Mimi and just a few weeks ago I became a Christian. I’ve grown up in a Christian household but I’d never been saved. The big bummer is that my five older sisters (oldest being 33) are EXTREMELY against God. They all live out of home and wear VERY immodest clothing. I’ve tried to explain to them that Jesus is the one true core of our being and that they need to trust in Him, but they say the bible is a pack of lies. They say (especially the 21-year-old) that it’s better to have fun (meaning cursing, wearing immodest clothing, listening to insanely horrible music, looking like a Victoria’s Secret model, losing sexual purity) is the best thing to do. Junk to consequences. Can you do a vlog or a blog about this? I don’t know what to do other than shut my ears to their lies that, when I was believing them, were killing me inside.

    Thanks so much for the thought,


  • Elenoa Leanne

    Nice reminder

  • Lainey

    Wow, awesome post!!

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