conference conference


Falling in Love With Guys That You Don’t Even Know

By: Bethany Beal

It was a sunny Friday afternoon, and I had just finished attending a writing conference with a girlfriend of mine. I walked to the parking garage and hopped in my truck.


The parking garage had been empty when I pulled in early that morning, but it had completely filled up throughout the day. Getting out of a parking garage in a big Texas truck is nearly impossible.

As I slowly started to inch my way out, I noticed the driver in the car waiting to take my parking spot was a very attractive looking guy. He had a big smile on his face as he watched me slowly make my way out of the parking spot.

As I drove past him, I thought, That guy was flirting with me! 

I pulled out of the parking garage and quickly found myself thinking about that smiling, handsome guy. I began to wonder who he was, what his name was, and where he was going.

Before my thoughts got carried away, I stopped myself and remembered, “I literally don’t even know that guy.” I reminded myself he was a total stranger, and I would most likely never see him again.

Thanks to that quick (what I like to call) “flirting with a stranger” moment, I realized just how easily we as girls can get our thoughts all tangled up in guys.

Guys we have never met. 
Guys we hardly know. 
And guys who give us the slightest bit of attention. 

I don’t know about you, but I can create an entire fantasy world (practically walking myself down the wedding aisle) with a guy who I don’t even know.

Are any of you girls feeling me on this one?

Thankfully, I know I’m not the only girl who struggles with this sort of thing. 

I was recently talking with some girlfriends who admitted they tend to daydream over guys, too. They told me their weakness is celebrities, guys in movies, TV shows, and even pictures of guys on social media.

After chatting for a few minutes my girlfriends asked me what I currently do to avoid getting emotionally caught up in a guy. Here’s what I told them:

“I avoid getting emotionally entangled with a guy by controlling my thoughts. If I allow myself to dwell on sweet, romantic thoughts about a guy, I become emotionally entangled. I have to use self-control and guard my thought life in order to avoid ‘falling in love’ with guys I don’t even know.”

It’s an idea that comes straight out of God’s Word.

Second Corinthians 10:5 says, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (emphasis added).

I challenge you to try it. The next time you get emotionally wrapped up in a guy, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Have I been daydreaming about him?
  2. Have I been constantly thinking about him?
  3. Have I been planning how I am going to see/talk to him next?
  4. Have I been constantly wondering what he is up to?

If any of your answers are “yes” then it’s time to take control of your thoughts. 

It won’t be easy! You have to be intentional to not allow yourself to constantly or romantically think about guys. I highly recommend reading 5 Truths to Combat “Out-of-Control” Emotions for more detailed help on this topic.

The next time your thoughts go toward that certain guy, “take your thoughts captive” by reciting a Bible verse, praying, and/or singing a praise song. Intentionally choose to redirect your thoughts in a different direction.  You’ll soon realize your emotions don’t have to run free and wild when it comes to guys.

You’ll soon realize your emotions don’t have to run free and wild when it comes to guys.

With the power of God and the purposeful decision to choose your thoughts, you can avoid “falling in love” with total strangers.

  • When is the last time you daydreamed or fantasized about a guy?
  • Do you need to be more intentional about “taking your thoughts captive?”


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27 Responses to Falling in Love With Guys That You Don’t Even Know

  1. Christian Country Girl says:

    Wow! Great article! I know that this is so easy to fall into! I’ve had the experience of planning out how everything is supposed to go and then still not even saying a word to him. I’m learning that it’s not fair to me, him, or God if I let those thoughts consume me.

  2. Halee says:

    Wow, I REALLY needed this. I’ve been struggling with a “crush” on a guy from church, and it’s been hard keeping my focus on Sundays. I knew it was wrong to dwell on him but couldn’t figure out how to do it, especially since this is my first crush since I stopped crushing for appearances and started crushing for marriage. Thanks again!

    • Abi says:

      oh my goodness I am in the same exact situation down to all the details! I’m glad I’m not the only one 🙂 I’ll be praying that you can focus on God and trust Him in every situation, but especially in this one! You are loved by God and I pray that everything will work out- which I know it will for God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. Have a blessed day!

      • Reigha Sunshine says:

        Try praying for you crush! (not “please let him fall in love with me….”, but pray for his safety and relationship with God and purpose and, well I’m sure you will be able to think of enough things to pray for him. :))

        • Christian Country Girl says:

          Hi Reigha! This is Kayla from Writers Workshop and Embrace Purity! So awesome to see you here!
          Great idea! I’ve had to deal with having a crush who I don’t know (I see him a lot, but we haven’t really gotten to know each other). Anyway, I’ve prayed for him multiple times and it really does help! Not only do I get to pray for his relationship with God, but it’s helped me place it in Gods hands and trust that he knows what’s best for any situation…even if it’s something like a crush. 🙂

          • Reigha Sunshine says:

            @christiancountrygirl:disqus Whoa Hi!!!! Oh my gosh it’s so cool that we are running into each other over here! Praying helps so much. I thought I was totally over this one crush and voila! Nope, not yet apparently, so I had to take my own advice again yesterday. lol! Yes it is such a good reminder that God has all this in His hands and even when we freak out because we can’t see how this life could end up alright, He reminds us that He has such bigger plans! (I’m totally going off subject, but whatever :P) It’s like we are living in the first chapter of this book that He is writing, and just like in the stories that we enjoy writing, bad things happen to the characters and they freak out. But as authors, we are able to reassure them,”It’s ok! This is just the very beginning of your story and I know how this ends. And it ends really well. At the end of this chapter, you die, but then you come alive and you start really living for a billion more chapters!” God reassures us in the same way with the hope of heaven and being with Him someday! Just a fun analogy I’ve been thinking about! I hope your day is full of fabulous prayer! 😀

          • Christian Country Girl says:

            Great analogy!! I love it!

    • Ana says:

      You worded it perfectly! I too have started noticing all the godly guys and “crushing for marriage” but it’s still a crush and still a problem

  3. Katie says:

    I struggle with this all the time!!

  4. Melissa VDA says:

    I can so relate! This was me a number of years ago: fantasizing about guys exactly like you said. Then one day I realized how foolish it was and that God would bring the right guy at the right time. And what do you know, very shortly after that day a guy from our church asked me out and now he will be my husband in 53 days!! 🙂

  5. Olivia R. says:

    I am glad I am not the only one who struggles with this. It can be very hard sometimes and I have to catch myself if I find that I am falling for a random stranger who glanced at me. This was a very encouraging article. Thank you so much for writing it!

  6. Ann Martinez says:

    I am so glad to hear I’m not the only one who does this! It’s constant! Not proud of it but I do have a big problem refocusing my thoughts. Sometimes I get so emotionally invested that that’ll be all I think about & it can be so self destructive in the way that u start letting it take up your whole thought process! So thank u for bringing this up & helping me feel less like a weirdo! I’m gonna work on purifying my thought & just trying to keep them on the right track. So thank u for writing this.

  7. Gina A says:

    I recently have realized how much I am struggling with this as I grow longer in my wait for my man of God. I am going on 26 and have been single for almost 9 years. I haven’t dated during this time. God saved me almost 5 years ago so the majority of my walk has been learning my womanhood and of course the blessing of marriage and desiring to only court and be married to a God fearing man. So as you can see, THE STRUGGLE IS REAL OUT HERE! Lol I try to hold my thoughts captive but it seems so hard. I can pray and then the next minute it’s like I didn’t pray at all. I’m
    Thankful to God that I realize this is not of Him and idolizing in a sense. So be encouraged ladies, GOD is still with us and working in us to wait on Him patiently and battle this in the power of His might. Thank you so much for this post and all the ladies commenting. I do not feel alone! God bless 🙂 Thank you so much to Girldefined!

  8. Brianne says:

    I struggle with this as well!! It used to be a HUGE problem for me up until a few months ago. Now I know that I have to guard my thoughts a bit better than that. It’s the guy’s job to initiate a relationship. I can be interested in a guy, but I can’t let it turn into an obsessive crush. I’m potentially interested in a guy right now, but I know that unless he asks me out, he is just my friend. I have to view him as a friend to guard and protect my heart. Us girls have crazy emotions. We can easily fantasize about marriage and kids with a guy we barely know, and that’s not healthy. It’s challenging, but it’s worth it! Jesus is our first and most important love! Thank you so much for this post, Bethany! Great job! You’re always so encouraging!! Blessings 🙂

    • Ina Yefimov says:

      I had the same thing; someone I was interested in, but he was only ever my friend.
      Thank you for you all your posts, Bethany and Kristen!

    • Hannah says:

      Wow! You just said the exact thing that I was thinking. Really, I could say exactly that as well. Thanks for sharing. God bless.

  9. Reigha Sunshine says:

    Often someone will get stuck in my mind and I use that as a reminder to pray for them! I will see some random stranger, guy or girl, young or old, and they will just keep popping up in my mind. So I will pray. Sometimes I will vividly dream about all sorts of random people I haven’t seen in a long time- so I will pray. When I had a crush I was trying to stop liking, I would start praying, “God take care of my ______.” But that is where I had to stop myself and fix that prayer. “God, he belongs to you. Take care of Your ___.” I also use that as a reminder to pray for my future husband. 🙂 Just lots of prayer all around sends the blessings far and helps my mindset too!

  10. Hannah B says:

    great post .

  11. DANICA♡ says:

    I struggled this before. I’m afraid I’ll get to fall in the same thing again. Focusing on Jesus is really d best option. Taking thoughts captive and obiedient to Christ is really a helpful technique. Not just a technique but d absolute help for Christian girls. This is an amazing article! Glory to God.
    One thing I struggle at times is the thought of being afraid to fall for someone.

    • Reigha Sunshine says:

      Hey, don’t be afraid. Even if your stomach “falls for someone”, you don’t have to. I had intensive flutter feelings for a guy for months after I had already decided that I didn’t like him anymore. And it was ok. He started dating someone and I moved on too. Whenever I think about him, I pray for him.

      All that to say, you have more control about who you fall in love with than the world would like to fantasize. 🙂 God’s got you! Just pray for those people who get stuck in your mind and live fully without fear!

  12. Hannah says:

    I could answer yes to all of those questions right now. Thanks for the encouragement to “take your thoughts captive” and live for Christ and not ourselves/our emotions.

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