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Friday Nights and the Single Girl

By: Guest Blogger

Another Friday night. Another Friday night alone. Another Friday night single.

Those words echo endlessly in my head, keeping perfect time with my beating heart. I know if I want to silence them, there’s only one way. I climb into my bed, grab my Bible off my nightstand, and open it. Instantly, I feel God’s peace surround me as I begin turning the pages.

Lonely Friday nights can be painfully tough if you’re a single female.

At 33, I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve only been on a handful of dates (probably less than 10), and I never expected my life to look like this. I expected that at 33 I’d be married to a wonderful Godly man, and two sweet girls and one precious boy would make our family complete.

I expected that on the occasional Friday night, my husband and I would leave the kids at Grandma’s and enjoy a romantic night out (or in).

The older I get, the more I realize life rarely goes as expected.

This world is so quick to tell us that a man will make us happy, save us and that without one, our lives are empty (talk about putting the pressure on men). It tells us that if we’re not married by a certain age, there must be something wrong with us.

We hold strong to these notions that we allow ourselves to believe, and when lonely Friday nights creep in, those beliefs can become exemplified to the point of tears and feelings of inadequacy.

Instead of believing the lies of this world, I choose to hold fast to God’s never-ending truths. I land on one in my Bible that has deeply comforted me in the past. I am beautiful (Psalm 139:14). I read another one. I am valuable (Luke 12:6-7). Then there’s this one. I am loved (Romans 5:8). And I am. We all are.

We’re all beautiful, and we’re all valuable; these magnificent truths apply to all of us.

God loves us so much He sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for our sins. He loves us unconditionally, and He loves us more than any man ever will. Our identities and true happiness are found in Him alone, and only He can save us.

I wish I were married. I want to be married. But I want God’s best for my life more.

So instead of pursuing a man (a Godly man will do the pursuing), I’m waiting on God. He’s either preparing me for my future husband, or He has a better plan for my life that doesn’t include marriage. The latter is incredibly tough to admit, and there are many days I refuse to believe it as possible.

However, if I remain single the rest of my days, I’ll cling tightly to God and embrace His truths above. I don’t say them aloud nearly enough, but tonight, on this not-so-lonely-anymore Friday night, I’m shouting them for the world to hear.

Let’s chat below!

As a single female, how do you get through lonely Friday nights?

If you got married, do you think you would still deal with loneliness? Why or why not?

Guest Post by: Brittany Blackburn 

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Lonely Girl

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38 Responses to Friday Nights and the Single Girl

  1. Deborah says:

    As a single female, how do you get through lonely Friday nights?
    I get through lonely Friday nights by spending time with God or doing something else that would distract me from being lonely and miserable. I like to read the Bible and get closer to God. I also pray to God in order to get rid of my feelings of loneliness.

    If you got married, do you think you would still deal with loneliness? Why or why not?
    If I got married, I feel like if my husband spent time with me a lot, I wouldn’t feel lonely, but if he doesn’t, I might feel lonely. I would still feel lonely if I was actually lonely.

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      Yes! Combating distractions by spending time with God or doing other activities to keep our minds from wandering is very wise! Keep seeking Him in everything!

  2. Anna says:

    This was wholesome and encouraging! Thank you for opening up and sharing this holy and beautiful perspective! I especially enjoy the scripture references! You are beautiful!

  3. Shanae B says:

    I have just turned 30 and still single. I still live at home mostly because my two youngest siblings are special needs and one is in a wheelchair. Between helping my family and work I keep pretty distracted. My main problem is other people’s problem of me still being single. People are always trying to guilt or pressure me to “help God out.” But I’m waiting for God’s timing! Thanks for sharing this! 🙂

  4. Aleya Beadles says:

    I am currently 17 and I told myself I wouldn’t date till I was 18. I have stuck to it! I haven’t gone on one date and sadly I have never been asked on one. Sure lots of guys like me. They just like me for the wrong reasons. I think that’s partly why I decided not to date till I was 18 and plus high school boyfriend’s never last and it ends in heartbreak. I saw my friend go through many break ups and it was horrible! Yes I do at times wish a guy would ask me out or wish I had a boyfriend… But I think most of my loneliness comes from the lack of friends. So many people have cliques. It’s sad to say but im odd. I don’t look like a normal person cause well I have albinism and I am a complete introvert! Even though I could chat a person’s ear off once I got to know them.

    I don’t think having a boyfriend/husband would get rid of my lonlilonel. I mean physically yes it would…but true happiness come only when you have God in you!

    Usually fridFr nights I read a book or am doing school. Other times its family time .

    Thank you for sharing!! 🙂

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      Great way to stay strong! I’m sure you’re beautiful! I love your Friday night activities!

    • Ainsley says:

      Love this! I am in a similar position: 17 and have never been on a date or had someone interested in me. It’s so hard because from what we see at school and in culture, being in a relationship almost elevates you and seems to make you better because someone else loves you and appreciates you. BUT we have to remember the truth: God loves us more than anyone else could and that we aren’t lonely because God is always with us. Keep staying strong and holding to the truth <3

    • Leslie says:

      I’m 14 almost 15 and have commented myself to not date till i’m 18 and my parents made it a rule a year or two ago for my siblings too and I agree with you about high school boyfriends.

      • Aleya Beadles says:

        That is fabulous!! Stay strong cause it’s hard especially around 16 because that’s when others start more serious relationships and then you feel lukl the odd one out. I remember having a crush on a guy when I was 14-16 and I exaggerated it so much just so I could “fit in”. Yeah please don’t do that! Some feelings got hurt vecbeca I started to live and really believe my over thought exaggerated stories! YES I really my liked him and still kinda do but it was hard! I like him now because of his personality and that’s truel what you need more than looks!

        Keep strong even when your faced with a trial! And I mean any trial not just guys and crushes

        • Leslie says:

          thanks for this. my vary close guy friend (p.s. is like a brother to me) is 16 and is doing the same thing as me so we hang out or my and family hang out on the weekends

  5. Courtney says:

    I love this! I’m 28 and it’s a struggle. Watching all my friends get married, without even a date to their weddings, tugs at my heart sometimes. Now most of my friends have boyfriends and are married and it’s hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy. But I just keep praying that God is going to send me someone amazing, and I just have to keep waiting!

    • Abigail Mae Carpenter says:

      I feel the exact same way, I am a year younger than you and I was a bridesmaid at my younger sister’s wedding without a date and I was so incredibly happy and excited for her, but the human emotions inside me couldn’t help, but be a little jealous that my younger sister was getting married before me. We can be strong together in the waiting game of making these single years count.

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      I’m so glad this spoke to you! You’re not less than your married friends, & God hasn’t forgotten you! If His will is for you to get married, it will happen in His perfect time!

  6. Mina says:

    I usually feel so revealed that the work week is over and look forward to the week end. Fridays are my favorite day in the week – in the evening I do grocery shopping for the whole week, do a “home spa” (all sorts of self-care) and go to sleep early. During the weekdays after work I attend a course and a couple of meetups (mostly foreign language and IT related), which is both fun and demanding, so and need time for myself.

    I personally cannot imagine getting married some day and not having my own peace. 🙂 I’m still young (28) maybe that changes later in life.

  7. Abigail Mae Carpenter says:

    At 27 and never been in a relationship or been on really any dates, it can be really difficult for me to spend another Friday night alone, but when I remember that I am never alone as long as God is always there. I can turn to my friends and family to make my dateless Friday nights more fun. If I did get married, I think that I would deal with loneliness if the man that I married was someone I just settled for out of loneliness and desperation, and he wasn’t who God had planned for me to spend the rest of my life with. I can only base this off my limited romantic experience or on observation, but I believe that any relationship can be lonely if both people involved in the relationship don’t put in the effort to make it strong or if God is not a priority in the relationship.

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      God is always with us! Spending Friday nights with family & friends is the best! Great reminder to not settle!

  8. brittanymarieblackburn says:

    Awesome!

  9. Yolanda Marie Wooten says:

    I am currently divorced. I got married at 35 years of age. Since my divorce (since 2009) , it has been extremely difficult to date because My heart has a wall blocking any love to come in. I need prayer for strength and guidance on this issue. I would like to get married again however, I will not settle for just anyone. Dating is very hard especially if you have been married before. I do become lonely because I have no one to talk to anymore. This time, I am going to allow God to send someone to me only thru his will, not mine. The first marriage, I stepped out of his will. It is definitely a learning experience for me. Keep me in prayer. God bless you

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      Thank you for sharing. It’s very hard to let anyone break down the walls around our heart when we’ve been hurt so deeply. Let God do it. Seek Him with everything you have. Your mind is already on the right track. Keeping you in my prayers.

  10. Leslie says:

    I’m 14 almost 15 and most of my girl friend have a boyfriend or at least go on dates so it is harder to not feel left out some times but I know god has my best will at heart. thanks for this post.

    • Aleya Beadles says:

      So so so true! Keep strong I remember being in your boat just a couple years ago. I used to let it bug me but now I’m just trying my best to wait on God’s timing.

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      God absolutely has our bests planned! It’s so easy to forget that truth if we’re not seeking Him daily! Keep staying strong!

  11. fashionhotpink83 says:

    I’m 34 years old and unmarried. I’m not even dating anyone. I understand that struggle because I used to feel that exact same way in the past. I would get off work around 2pm on Fridays and I dreaded it. I didn’t have anyone to hang out with or anywhere to go. I sort of felt alone. I remember one year at a ladies retreat the topic was “JOY” and I thought, I want that. I studied the packet and tried to understand just what that was and how to attain it. I think just slowly over time I started feeling so full on God’s love for me. To this day, I don’t feel any emptiness or loneliness. I’m enjoying my single years and using them to prepare to be a Godly wife. That is one of the reasons I am going to the Girl Defined Conference. I am also using this time to work on my flaws. It’s also important to note that during that time of struggle, I was in the season of becoming a born again Christian. I wasn’t yet a firm Christian. Jesus was bringing me closer to Him, and I am so thankful for that.

    I’m enjoying my Friday nights again. I look forward to them. We don’t have to feel alone. We don’t have to count down the hours until Friday is over. We can have real joy NOW. Remember to be strong because your brothers and sisters in Christ are facing and overcoming the same struggles. Welcome Jesus into your Fridays. I am also part of an AWANA program on every other Friday night and I enjoy it so much. For those that don’t know, it is a program for children to learn the Word of God and play and earn rewards for their vests. It’s so rewarding for me too.

    Wear your spiritual armor. Keep in God’s Word E V E R Y S I N G L E D A Y.

    I am standing with you guys. I will keep the faith and I will pray for us.

  12. Aleya Beadles says:

    That is so awesome! I remember when I still had siblings living at home and how we’d do similar things.

  13. fashionhotpink83 says:

    I also want to take this time to share my testimony. In the year 2007 my boyfriend broke up with me. He was my only boyfriend. It was a long distance relationship. I wrote him a letter talking about marriage and it was after that that he told me he didn’t believe in marriage. I was stunned. I was hurt. He broke up with me over the phone and I remember the song I was listening to on the radio at the moment was by Paula Deanda called, “Walk away.” It only made me feel more sad.

    I immediately called up my friend whom I startled because I couldn’t get a single word out. All I could do was cry. I was thankful that she was there for me to talk to. After the break up I started going through depression. I couldn’t be alone. Usually I am fine doing my own thing, but now I was unable to be by myself. I felt so alone and like no one understood. My family hardly knew I was dating anyone. They knew of him, but they didn’t know how much I cared about it. I am a shy person and I never shared much about the relationship. I’m not even sure if they really knew we were dating. I was inwardly going through this struggle alone. I thought I would never be happy again. I truly believed that. I knew I was going through depression. I didn’t need a doctor to tell me that. I knew no one could help me. I new I needed something greater. It was then that I turned to Jesus Christ. I started reading my Bible and praying to God for help. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to smile again. I didn’t want to feel that deep sadness anymore.

    Jesus started changing me. One of the first things He changed was the music that I listened to. I started listening to Christian music by artists like Trip Lee and Lecrae. My co worker was listening to a Trip Lee cd one day and I loved it and she gave me her cd. This was the job that I previously mentioned where I used to get off at 2pm on Fridays and dreaded it. The music we listen to impacts our thoughts and it is important to be mindful of what we listen to.

    At the time of the breakup I didn’t understand the reason for my pain, but I clearly see now. It brought me closer to Jesus and for that I am forever grateful. It was the greatest blessing of my life.

    I’ve realized that I can trust Jesus because He knows the end result. I’ve always known who Jesus is, but I didn’t start walking with Him until this point. We will have difficult moments in life, but that is when you have a decision to make. Make the decision to turn to Jesus. Call upon Him. He is only a prayer away. Turn to something greater…turn to Jesus.

    Mandi

  14. tudie says:

    This topic raises a more general question for me. Why do you prefer to use the word “girl” for woman? I am very concerned about the sexualization of girlhood. Children should have the chance to be children. Women, single and married, must own adulthood.

    As a young widowed mother of daughters; the culture pressure to be remain a girl as a grown woman, and the cultural pressure on girls to take on sexual maturity inappropriate to their ages is a serious concern to me. I am single now – and I am responsible for taking care of my household. One of the barriers I face, is being treated as a child – a “girl” in the absence of my deceased husband.

    I struggle with frustration over this issue – please help me understand why you prefer to continue to call yourselves and other adults girls.

    • brittanymarieblackburn says:

      Thank you for your comment. I was saying girl for female. I didn’t mean anything derogatory. I apologize if I offended you.

    • Shanae B says:

      Everyone has different views and feelings about every solitary thing. Some women use the word girl for themselves especially if they have an issue with their age. They use it for others as a term of endearment. Yes most women need to get over getting older, especially if single. Yet as with many things, easier said than done. Just because you feel that the word girl harms and sexulizes childhood doesn’t mean the same is viewed by everyone else.

  15. Michaela says:

    I often wish I had time to myself to do my own thing! I totally understand the feeling of loneliness sometimes, but I also think it can be viewed as a blessing! Just different perspectives on the same issue…


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