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To the Girl Who is Discouraged and Losing Heart

By: Guest Blogger

Have you felt like a weight has fallen over you? Are you stuck in a place in life where nothing seems to be changing? Where the same thing happens day in and day out and you’re not getting anywhere? Have you prayed and begged God for something and not seen an answer?

Do you feel like you’re being held back, but can’t put a finger on what it is that’s got a hold over you?

Maybe you are a young woman with no friends, in a new city and a new job and every night you go home alone. You long for fellowship and a purpose beyond just working your life away.

Maybe you are someone who is in a good place in life but you beg God to give you someone to love, to marry, to grow old with and to start a family with. But every time you go somewhere and you don’t meet “the one” you come home depressed, brokenhearted and feeling more alone than ever.

Maybe you are newly married and you have a beautiful home but every day your husband leaves for work you’re by yourself for the majority of the day, feeling alone with no kids, no family, no job and nothing left to do but clean and wait to cook dinner for your husband around dinner time.

Maybe you are a mom with kids and a house that needs to be cleaned every single day, you feel unattractive because you don’t have time to take care of yourself while you care for your kids and your days feel monotonous and that your stuck in a never-ending cycle of dishes, laundry, kids arguments, cooking, and cleaning.

You feel like you have no purpose.

Nothing to live for.

Nothing to do.

No way to communicate this to anyone.

From the outside, your life looks perfect. You don’t live in a third world country, hard-pressed by persecution, starvation or a corrupt government. You should be happy by all accounts but you’re not.

I Want To Encourage You To Not Lose Heart! Don’t Let The Devil Have His Way. 

Don’t let him get you down. Jesus is on your side and daily He is fighting the Spiritual battle for your soul. He is waging war on your behalf. Are you showing up to the battle in faith and in confidence that you have seen the Lord move mountains and that He will do it for you again? Or are you sitting in the miry clay with no motivation because you feel stuck?

We have a promise that the Lord “who has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6.

Since we have this promise we can be assured that God will not leave us where we feel like we’ve been lost. He will not let you stay stuck. He has big plans for your life and He invites you to know that there is a bigger picture than what you are seeing right now.

This trial that you are facing, the loneliness, the depression, the monotony, they are nothing that is too big for Jesus to handle.

Even In Your Loneliness, God Is Working.

Thank goodness that He is the Prince of Peace! Thank goodness that He is the Ultimate Comforter! He is your place of rest when you are weary of trying, He is your shield when the battle of depression is hitting you on all sides! He is there for you if you would only run to Him. Turn to Jesus in your time of desperation.

There is a calling on your life. Jesus has you here for a reason and He will not leave you. You can be confident in that.

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” 1 Thes. 5:23-24

I love this verse!

It is such a beautiful promise and encouragement. First, we know and love the God of peace Himself and He will sanctify or set us apart. He makes our WHOLE body, soul and mind blameless, regardless of ANYTHING  that we have done, past, present and future. And He that has called us, is faithful. He will accomplish all things for us.

Confidence Is A Hard Thing To Have In Today’s World. 

Being sure of who we are and what we are is almost inconceivable. How can we trust in anything that we aren’t sure of? How is it that we can make ourselves as beautiful as we possibly can and still feel inadequate? We don’t have 100% confidence in ourselves and that is scary. It contributes so much to how we feel during the day, what we think, what we watch, who we follow on Instagram and Facebook, etc.

When we don’t have confidence then, of course, we are stuck, of course, we are lonely, scared, frustrated and confused. But why would we try to put confidence in ourselves?

We aren’t perfect, we won’t always be successful in everything. We won’t always know just what to do. Our confidence comes from Christ and knowing who He is and who we are IN Him! We are nothing apart from Him.

Our Confidence is, and Always Should Be, In Christ Alone. In His Faithfulness, There Is Confidence. 

Great is His faithfulness to us. When we aren’t faithful to meet Jesus in the morning, He is faithful to love us. When we choose sin over God’s Word, He is faithful to forgive us. When we are pushed and pulled by the pressures of the world, Jesus is faithful to hold us close, to draw us in, to speak to us, to comfort, to pour out His peace over us, to listen to us, to cry with us, to carry us.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16 

Jesus will help you in your time of need. Whatever it may be. He can move the mountains. He will be faithful. He will pull you through. Just trust Him. Find Him in His Word, even when you think He’s not there and not speaking, have faith. Keep seeking Him. Keep trusting Him. He loves you.

  • What are some of your mountains?
  • Where have you seen God’s hand of deliverance in your life before?
  • Will you trust Him to do it again?

Get to know the author: 

Lisa Christine is a passionate dreamer, saved and set apart by GRACE. She is the founder of the amazing blog, A Lovely Calling. She lives in the heart of the Rockies with her loving, admirable and quite dashing husband, Dylan. She loves cats, writing, hiking, coffee, dancing in her pj’s, singing, listening to Irish music and film scores, canoeing, rock climbing, cliff jumping and anything to do with the outdoor life as long as she has coffee and her Bible.


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15 Responses to To the Girl Who is Discouraged and Losing Heart

  1. Isabella says:

    Hi everyone! I know this is totally off topic but I really need to ask someone. I have been battling with whether I should tell my guy friend that I like him. Let me give you a brief description of him: he’s always in church, very godly, speaks mostly Spanish(I sometimes translate for him, that’s how I got to know him), very funny towards me, teases me gently, has hinted that he really likes me by pulling his chair closer to mine, and speaking to me about things that troubles him. My parents think that he’s an overall great guy. Like everyone he has his moments, but he’s always very sweet and responsible. I’ve been friends with him for over a year. My sister also thinks he really likes me by his actions towards me. I’m having mixed feelings whether I should tell him I like him or not. My sister says to go for it, but I wanted to ask you all first because I value your opinions. 🙂 Thank you!

    • Zoe says:

      Hi Isabella, I would advise you to not read any signs that he likes you as the best way to know is well, to wait and see whether he will pursue you. Otherwise, holding onto something that doesn’t exist could be heartbreaking. For now just be a sister to him, there are no hard and fast rules biblical rules apart from definitely purity and holiness (ex: not flirting) on how to interact and get to know him (although I’d advise not to spend time alone together), but generally it is best to leave it up to him to take leadership and tell you he likes you – after all, you want someone who likes you enough to get out of their comfort zone and ask !
      Hope this helps and also remember what God did to Adam when he made Eve, he put him to sleep which is a symbol of rest and peace – wow – this should be an example of how we should be when we are in our gift on singleness and wondering whether God will give us the gift of marriage.
      God Bless!

      • Isabella says:

        Hi Zoe! 🙂 thank you for the advice! But I’m just confused because I read in other Christian blogs that say that just telling a guy you like him isn’t the same as pursuing him(like asking him out on a date). They say that it’s perfectly fine to tell them how you feel and accept the possibility of being either rejected or accepted. Just a little confused:/ Any one can reply to this comment:) Thank you!

        • Christie says:

          Hi there Isabella! That is awesome that you spoke with your parents about this man and seeing their opinions of him. It is for sure great to seek our parent’s advice when it comes to relationships. I can’t give you a straight answer but I can tell you that praying to God and asking him for advice would be one sure way as a starter. If the Lord intends for you to get together with this man, it will be in the most perfect, beautiful, and amazing way and the best way to do so is to just wait until the perfect timing and you will know when this is (: If you would like more advice, I would recommend reading the book “Before you meet Prince Charming” by Sarah Mally. It is such an amazing book and a great way to learn what being pure means before dating and marriage and the intend of dating!

          Hope this helps!

    • Alena says:

      oooh it feels so squirmy to like someone and think they like you back but not be sure!
      I’ve been in this situation before and have a few thoughts for you to consider:

      1) “Why do I want to tell him?”
      Often I want to “let my feelings known” because I don’t want to practice self-control anymore. I want to get together with a guy because I’ve let my thoughts run full speed for months and now am at a point where I either tell him or have to derail my thoughts (which is never fun.) Search your heart and pray to see whether you want to tell him because YOU want to, or because God is prompting you to.

      2) Ask God to “sing back to sleep” things that you awakened too soon.
      This is a humble prayer. There are areas and relationships with guys that I have zoomed ahead with in my thoughts while the reality is just slowly puttering along. Pray that God would put back to sleep healthy desires that are not in his timing. (you may know the desires or you may not, but surrender all of them to the Lord to let Him pick and choose what goes dormant for now.)

      3) Ask God to filter your thoughts
      This is something I’ve been doing this past week as I’ve realized a crush got out of hand. Ask God to search your thoughts and desires and heart and throw out anything that is not Him.

      These steps require surrender–surrender of who you are, what you want, what you’re dreaming of- and submission to what God longs for you, the desires he has for you, the purposes he has for you. Ask Him to give you desires for your heart. These steps will hopefully help focus your thoughts back onto Christ and knowing Him and His heart in a more intimate way.

      Anyways. Hope this helps. :3
      Go you that you’re thinking this through and asking for advice and seeking your parents and God’s will over this.
      I just want to encourage you and remind you that God has an amazing purpose for you and for the season of life that you’re in. Keep your eyes on Him and the rest of your life will fall into place.

      • Isabella says:

        Thank you so much Alena for taking the time to give me your heartfelt advice!! 🙂 I really do appreciate it! I just ordered a purity bear off of the website Boyfriend bears .com

    • Princess4Hvn says:

      Hello Isabella, I can relate to what you are going through as I’ve been in a similar situation. Great advice has already been shared. I would encourage you to wait on the Lord for His perfect timing.
      This was my story… I thought I knew the person for me. He was in my church, I’m friends with the family, he was musically talented (like me) and quite handsome. I imagined doing music ministry together. I thought my dream was in line with God’s will. Nevertheless I hung back and didn’t let anyone know except my parents and closest friends. In my teens I was friendly with a crush, and thankfully he was man enough to confront me and ask that we just be friends and nothing more. That experience, plus a friend had encouraging me that it was better that a man pursues and a woman responds – like the pattern of Christ with His bride – led me to hold back. I didn’t want to run ahead of God. I figured that He’d wake the other guy up when the time was right.
      In the mean time, another young man in our church met with my parents and asked if he could pursue a relationship with me. This was not the way that I had imagined things working out! When he asked me, I said that I’d only seen us as friends, and I wasn’t ready for a relationship right now. He said to let him know if I changed my mind. He was impressed not pursue me further, but simply lived a constant life (I would have run if he did the former, but the latter caught my attention). I truly wasn’t ready. Over the next 10 months God took me on a journey. He showed me that although I said, “Lord, You write my love story,” I still had my hand on the pen. (Suggested reading: “When God writes your love story.”) He had to bring me to the point of full surrender.
      Towards the end of my struggle, I did a character analysis based on my observation of the two guys. The first one had traits which I wasn’t entirely comfortable with. (TIP: If you’re thinking, “that’ll change when he gets to know me” take caution, it might not.) The other one had every single character trait I had on my prayer list for a future husband, plus more!
      Just this week we celebrated being in a relationship for 6 months. We were choking up as we praised God for His goodness! Yes, God knows what will bring us greatest happiness and this is what He desires to give us – new desires, fulfilled desires – and He makes everything beautiful in His time! (Psalm 37:4, Ecclesiastes 3:11)
      So my sister, wait on God’s perfect timing.
      While you’re waiting…
      Don’t feed the flames – a fire in a fireplace is safe. When let out of control, people get hurt. Don’t dwell on the situation. If you’re thinking about it, lead those thoughts into prayer. Don’t just pray for that guy, but pray for other brothers in Christ too.
      Use your time for ministry work that God leads you to do. If you want someone who loves God and His work, then be that person yourself first. My man shared that one of the traits he was looking for was for a woman with untiring zeal for the work of the Lord – and that is what he saw in me. (That is where we became better friends – serving God in mission work together.)
      Make a prayer list of character traits which are important to you in a husband. Pray that they are developed in your life too.
      Develop into the woman that God desires you to be and prepare for the future. Practice housekeeping, budgeting, and work on your character.
      Learn to trust that God’s ways and His timing is best. He loves you so very much, and if you are letting Him lead, you’ll realise that He is awesome beyond comprehension!

  2. Rachel M. says:

    This is such a great post and reminder! Thank you for this article!

  3. Breanna says:

    I have to say, I’ve been feeling really discouraged with everything right now and have been feeling like my life has come to a standing hault. I’m getting restless where I am and am heading to bible school in the fall, but it is so hard not to want the next season of my life to be here already! This was a great reminder to seek the Lord in this season in what He has me doing now.

  4. Helena says:

    I needed this so much, thankyou!

  5. Christie says:

    Thank you so much for posting this article Lisa!!! This has helped me out so much as a college student who recently transferred to another campus mid spring semester. On the weekends, I feel that most of my friends go home for the weekends and it is a bummer that I am by myself where I start to feel that nobody will be around for me but I start to feel so much better with I pray to God and just know for a fact that I am doing an amazing thing being here and I need to have confidence in God!

  6. Fedora Brookshields Prasad says:

    I feel the same

  7. Tori W. says:

    Oh Jane! I am also a homeschooled teen. And I have definitely felt as you do! When those type of feelings surface, I surround myself with the friends and activities I do have, and pray that God would help me to be content where He has put me. You do have a purpose. There is only one YOU and YOU are needed more than you know. No one else can fill your place…only YOU. I’ll be praying for you. <3

  8. Shelby says:

    Thank you so much for this post. I really needed to hear this. I am a newly wed and I moved to a new city and I don’t have friends here, we aren’t plugged into a church, and I do not have a job so I am at home for 13 hours of the day by myself. I am not sure what God is wanting me to do and I feel stuck so this helped so much!

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