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God’s Truth Helped Me Overcome Suicidal Thoughts

By: Guest Blogger

Three months ago I almost took my life. I didn’t like anything about my life. I felt the best thing to do would be to leave.

Thankfully, by God’s grace, some friends spoke biblical truth to me, and I am still here today.

My life, just like everybody else’s, is hard. I find myself wanting things to go my way and I don’t care if anyone gets hurt in the process.

I’ve lost friend after friend and have cut myself just to deal with the pain.

No matter what I did, nothing would get rid of the pain. I kept trying to find something to distract myself. I’d run till I felt like I was going to die, listen to music, cut myself, and play basketball.

The only thing that seemed to work was cutting. It left marks, but I didn’t care. No one around me seemed to noticed anyway. Somedays I wanted to walk up to someone and shout, “Look at me! Look at what I’ve done!” But I didn’t think it would change anything.

Everyone around me seemed to be in their own little world.

I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into depression and despair.

I had learned to put a smile on my face, but I was dying on the inside. I knew God wanted to help me, but I believed the lie that He was too busy to care. My problem seemed so small compared to everything that was going in the world. God had too many other things to worry about, right??

Wrong!

He did care about me. I was just too blind by self-pity to realize it.

It wasn’t until a friend of my friend’s boldly shared God’s truth with me that my eyes were opened.  

I told this friend that committing suicide wasn’t against the Bible. My friend lovingly corrected me and showed me that suicide is actually self-murder (Exodus 20:13). And murder is against the Bible. Suicide is choosing to take ultimate control over our lives, rather than surrendering them to God.

My friend knew the truths of God’s Word and wasn’t afraid to share it with me. My friend gave me verse after verse about how God had plans for everyone’s life, and how much He loves us.

Everything my friend shared was straight out of God’s Word and it really convicted my heart.

My mindset and heart began to change as a result of hearing God’s truth.

The Scripture passage that stood out to me the most was Psalm 46. I highly encourage you to read the entire thing:

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. ‘Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!’ The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

The first few verses are what really opened my eyes.

Up until that point, I always thought God only helped me if I wanted it.

But this verse helped me understand that God is always there for us, every day. He wants to free us from our bondage and break the chains of sin and despair in our lives.

Believing His truth is what did this for me. God’s Word changed my sorrow into joy.

If there’s one thing I learned for this dark experience it is this: God wants to help us. We just have to ask Him. It wasn’t until I turned to God’s Word that I found strength to change my life.  

As 1 Peter 5:6-7 reminds us, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

In closing, I’d love to discuss the following questions with you below:

  • How has God shown His strength to you during your dark times?
  • Has God ever reminded you of His truth through a friend or pastor?
  • How has God’s truth transformed your thinking and helped you believe truth?

This honest and transparent guest post was written by Kaitlyn Neese. If you are interested in submitting a guest post to GirlDefined, click here.

Photo Credit: Here 

Sad Girl Drinking Coffee

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  • Mary

    WOW!!! I’m so glad your someone spoke truth to you!!!! Suicide is so often shown as a disease, not a sin, because its hard knowing that someone you love has sent themselves to damnation. The problem with this is that it gives more people that are struggling with this that its ok, this is the easy way out, its NOT, and the only way to stop more people for doing this is by SPEAKING TRUTH!!! The TRUTH will set you free!!!

  • MMFgirl

    Thanks! Its encouraging to know I’m not the only one struggling with these issues….God bless:)

  • lauren

    i have a friend that is suicidal and cuts herself… i dont know if her parents know… she’s like my best friend… she says she wont ever take her life, but im not quite sure… what can i say to help her without preaching at her? i think she is trying to get over her cutting but she says shes addicted… how can i help her?

    • Kaitlyn Neese

      As someone who didn’t want to hear the Truth myself, you just have to do it. Let her know how much you care about her, how much you love her, and how much you don’t want her to go. Ask her if she’ll go to church with you. Reaching out in the little ways will help her realize that she’s loved by people. And how much you really do care about her.

  • Beloved_JAE

    PRAISE THE LORD, God is so good! Just seeing the title of this article started to bring tears to my eyes. So many verses came to my to mind about hoping in God when depressed (Psalm 42) and God bringing us out of a pit and putting a new song in our mouth (Psalm 40). I suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts before I came to know the Lord and even now as a Christian, and both times the power of believing the Scriptures, declaring them over my life, renewing my mind and resting on God’s promises were so instrumental in my recovery. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

  • Esther Rose

    Hey Kaitlyn. Thank you so much for this article. I am very blessed by it.

    I was wondering…..if maybe we could exchange emails (or something). As, just three months ago something like this happened to me. I would really like to just talk to you about what God has shown you during that time and how He helped you overcome cutting and so on.

    Thank you!!

    :):):):)

    • Kaitlyn Neese

      Hey Esther!
      I’m really glad you were blessed by my story! God shows He’s power and will for us in amazing ways.(:
      I’d love to talk to you more. Look me up on Twitter and shot me a message. And we can talk like that. My username is @kaitlyn_neese99. Looking forward to hearing from you!(:

  • Hi Kaitlyn! Right now I’m almost in tears. I just really resonated with this article and I appreciate you writing about this. I will not go into elaborate details but on a retreat that I went on I had really felt like God abandoned me and that I was all alone with no friends who knew about my depression and loneliness. However, while I was praying, I felt God’s presence around me in such an extraordinary way. I didn’t feel alone or abandoned by God anymore and I just felt fulfilled and loved. It was truly a wonderful experience.

  • Dally

    What should I do if the desire to be what God wants me to be is what’s driving me to suicide? I want to be good and help others and provide for those who need it, but I can’t. I try so hard to please God, but all I get is radio silence from him. Some days I just want to take a bottle of pills or stab myself repetitively till I go into shock and die.

    If God’s not going to help me, than who will?

    • Kristine

      Please do not hurt yourself Dally. God loves you. I know it is hurt to see and believe right now, but He does.

    • Kristine

      In Psalm 139, Dally, the Bible says this: ‘For you created my inmost being;
      you knit me together in my mother’s womb.’
      You were made special Dally. Please don’t take your life.
      I pray that God’s Light shines upon you like never before.

    • Amber

      I’ve felt the same things, until I realized that pressure wasn’t coming from God, it was coming from me. Love God wholeheartedly and from there everything will fall into place. He will mold you into the kind of person you need to be, you don’t need to worry love! He doesn’t want you to be feeling this way.. He loves you and wants you no matter what you do!

      • Dally

        I am a worthless sinner without the divine protection of God, right? If that is indeed the case then no matter how hard I try to please God or do his works, I’ll never be able to. He never helps me when I ask. So what’s the point?

    • Violet

      Hey Dally. I’ve been where you are (still kinda am, but i’m on the road to recovery!) You’re hurting, really badly. You want to be the perfect person, you want to help everyone without needing any help in return. Believe me, I’ve been there.
      But that’s not fair to yourself, you know? You can’t help others when you’re fighting every day to keep yourself alive. It’s okay to accept help.
      If you’re in a position to, try to get into therapy. If you’re a minor, try talk to your parents about seeing a therapist. Depending on your situation, that might sound terrifying. It’s okay.
      In my experience, God doesn’t seem to be a “direct helper” kinda guy. But that’s okay, because we have each other. There will always be people to help you up when you fall, even when you can’t see ’em. (And? Even if no one comes to pick you back up? You’re a fighter, Dally. The fact that you’ve made it this far is proof of that. You haven’t given up. You’re stronger than you realize.
      I can give you my email address, if you’d like. We could talk for a bit, if you think that would help.

      • Dally

        I appreciate your kind words. I do. I am having a very hard time right now because several people have told me medication is evil and non-effective (This blog being one of those groups). So I quit taking it.

        I am working on going to a counselor again and am going to try taking medication. Hopefully things will get better.

  • Dally

    Dally here, I just wanted to say that I have gotten better from this. Not completely, but I have gotten better. With secular counseling (which I’ve seen that your blog regards as evil) and psychiatric medication I have managed to overcome a lot.

    Reading the messages I received below and what I myself typed, I see how far I had fallen. As much as I appreciate the care given, it was not in any way the best way to handle something like this. If someone suggests that they are suicidal, you need to see how far gone they are and then urge them to see a doctor and go to a licensed therapist.

    “I’ve felt the same things, until I realized that pressure wasn’t coming from God, it was coming from me. Love God wholeheartedly and from there everything will fall into place. He will mold you into the kind of person you need to be, you don’t need to worry love! He doesn’t want you to be feeling this way.. He loves you and wants you no matter what you do!”

    The kind of comment I received above made it worse for me. I tried to hurt myself more because again the logic was putting all the blame on me. When I realized that the pressure was mostly coming from the outside, and that I was bending to much to the will and needs of others, I became so much happier.

    Not that I’m particularly religious anymore, but in the book of Job, Job’s friends didn’t tell him to chin up or to pray more, they instead listened to him and encouraged him without putting the blame on him. Why many people cannot do that is beyond me, especially Christians. Out of all the advice I have received from this blog, and my Christians in real life, not one (besides my own mother and Violet on here) told me to go to a doctor or encouraged me in any way, they just told me to pray more and that God would help me.

    Doctors aren’t evil. Psychiatric medication is not weakness or evil. Non-Christian counselors aren’t of the devil. Secular counseling DOES work.

    Please, if you feel this way, talk to someone! Get help. No one deserves to suffer.


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