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What Gorgeous Hair, Perfect Legs, and Long Eyelashes Can’t Get You

By: Kristen Clark

We’ve all seen those girls. The “perfect” ones. They have it all going for them. Perfect hair, flawless legs, long eyelashes, and a skinny waist. They seem to have it all. Right?

Without even realizing it, we compare ourselves to them and instantly feel ugly. We instantly feel dissatisfied and ungrateful for our bodies.

I know exactly how this game works because I’ve played it many times myself.

You want to know what’s really crazy about this though? As we look at these “perfect girls” and compare ourselves to them, guess what? They’re doing the exact same thing about their bodies too. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

In an interview with some famous supermodels, each one of them confessed that they were insecure about their own bodies.

Supermodels!

Girls, what does this tell us about those “perfect” girls? It tells us that gorgeous hair, perfect legs, and long eyelashes can’t give us what we really want. If being drop dead gorgeous was the answer to happiness…why are so many gorgeous girls unhappy?

One of the best examples of this I’ve seen is in the life of Marilyn Monroe. As a woman who had it ALL, she still committed suicide at the young age of 36. That is why we chose to use her story in our new Girl Defined Book Trailer Video.

As I’ve studied the life of this beautiful and famous woman, I can’t help but ask the questions, “Why would a woman who had everything still commit suicide?” “Why wasn’t the fame, beauty, money, and guys enough to satisfy her?”

Sadly, not many people stop to ask these tough questions about Marilyn’s tragic life.

Instead of questioning her fruitless quest for happiness, many of us follow right in her footsteps.

Like Marilyn, millions of modern girls are chasing after happiness and satisfaction down the same dead end road. Without even realizing it, many of us have bought into our culture’s popular lies about beauty, femininity, and identity.

In chapter three of Girl Defined, we refer to these crafty lies as “counterfeit femininity.” As Christian girls, many of us buy into the lies that to be worth anything we need to be pretty, sexy, smart, athletic, skinny, wealthy, popular, etc.

We believe the lie that our worth as a female is based on our beauty and on our personal accomplishments.

That’s right where Marilyn went wrong, and it’s right where many of us go wrong as well. “The moment we allow culture to define our womanhood is the moment we take our first wrong turn.” Girl Defined

Whether or not you have the most gorgeous hair, perfect legs, or longest lashes on the planet, if you define your womanhood on anything other than God’s timeless Word, you will always feel empty inside. You will forever struggle with feelings of worthlessness and depression until you turn to the only One who has the power to fill your void.

True worth, identity and satisfaction cannot be found outside of God’s beautiful design for us as females.

And that’s where the BEST news comes into play: Our status of worthiness has nothing to do with us and everything to do with God.

No matter how famous and pretty a girl is, or how poor and unattractive she is, her worth and

value are found in the same place. Our worth doesn’t come from anything we can do, but from everything Christ already did for us. If you’re a Christian, God calls you a child of God. And because you’re a child of God, He looks at you and sees royalty. You are a daughter of the most high king…and that makes you a princess.

Psalm 139:13­-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Not only are you a child of the King, God was knitting you together in your mom’s womb to look just the way you are.

Just like an artist creating a masterpiece, God handcrafted your hair color, eye color, skin tone, height, nose shape, ears, and body to look just the way He wanted it to.

Our culture may not consider you to be very special, but God does. And He’s the only One who owns the right to say how worthy you are.

If Marilyn Monroe had understood these truths, her life probably would have ended very differently. The secret to true happiness in this world is to keep your eyes and heart on THE Truth. The minute you look to someone or something other than Christ to define your worth and identity, you will go downhill. It’s a guarantee.

Keep your mind filled with what God’s truth and ignore the ever changing standards of our culture.

I can’t encourage you enough to learn more about God’s beautiful design for womanhood! I hope you’ll grab a copy of our new book and continue discovering God’s amazing design for your life as a female!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic as well as any additional insights you have.

Please share whatever is on your heart and mind in the comment section below!

  • Who or what are you allowing to define your worth and value?
  • Do you truly view yourself as a daughter of the King?

Photo Credit: Here 

Girl sitting

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  • Anna

    Thank you so very much. Your post have change my life for the better.

  • Seeking truth

    Very true–Cindy Crawford, an older supermodel who highlighted media culture for the lie it is, was once quoted as saying:

    “I wish Cindy Crawford looked like Cindy Crawford.”

  • Kaela Schultz

    Thank you so much for this article! I SO struggle with the problem of comparing my body with other girls’. I am going to a formal and i will try my best NOT to compare my dress, hair, makeup, and shoes with others of the like.
    Thank you SOOO MUCH!!!!!!

  • Mia

    Such a good reminder! 🙂 I find myself comparing my body to other girls so much, and I always forget that they’re probably doing the same thing. I need to remind myself that even if I did have a perfect outward appearance, I wouldn’t be satisfied. Only Jesus can fill me. 🙂

  • Cassie Kellogg

    Please keep it in mind that Christianity does not cure depression or any related mental illness, even if it does help to bring meaning to a person’s life (which I know for some it absolutely does).

    Also, I just want to mention that interestingly enough, it wasn’t until I left the church and religion that I finally began the journey to becoming fulfilled as a person and in my womanhood. Not everyone has the same experience and it’s best not to make absolute statements when they’re really based on opinion.

    • Miss Darcy

      It is not what is called Christianity, or church, or religion that cure anything.
      It is Jesus.
      Blessings!

      • Cassie Kellogg

        No, Jesus does not cure depression. Thanks for the comment though.

        • I beg to differ. I have been through depression before, and I know from experience that the only thing that can put depression to an end is Jesus Himself. Cassie, I encourage you to dive into God’s word and find out for yourself! You won’t be disappointed (if you seek Him with a willing heart). 🙂

          • Cassie Kellogg

            That’s wonderful that your faith helped you through that, however, the reason I say religion/ faith doesn’t cure depression is because depression is a mental illness, and my first inclination when it comes to people struggling with mental illness is always to seek help from medical professionals. Also, I was part of the faith. I was very devoted and sincere as a Christian for 20 years, and it ultimately was disappointing.

          • Jesusfreak17

            I’m really sorry you had that expirence. You’re right that medical professionals are important or even crucial to fighting through something like depression. But you have to address two aspects, the mental AND spiritual. You cannot be fulfilled without Jesus, but faith in Him doesn’t always adress the mental aspect directly.

          • Cassie Kellogg

            I’m not sorry I had that experience. It was an important and formative time for me and even though I had negative experiences and ultimately disagree with the religion on a number of ideological issues, it was still valuable.

            In going back to mental health again, I already said that I agree spiritual care can absolutely be important and vital for a person, I just reiterated that when it comes to mental health/illness I respect the fact that it is a medical condition and always suggest seeking medical/ psychological treatment as a first step.

            To address your last statement, I am fulfilled without Jesus and Christianity. I was, however, unfulfilled as a devoted and sincere follower. So that is incorrect.

          • Jesusfreak17

            May I ask why you left the faith?

          • cassie kellogg

            I am and always have been a naturally studious person, so I began to study the bible in depth and was concerned with its inconsistencies and seemingly arbitrary regulations that dictated morality. I brought many of these concerns up to church leaders, but was almost always dismissed and instead lead back to verses regarding faith, as in, “even though these things are illogical, we must follow them because of faith.” That was insufficient for me. This was probably the beginning of my 2 year-long process of leaving. I thought it might be just a fluke and decided to try out other churches (probably 5 or so) and was met with the exact same thing. It’s my experienced opinion that when it comes to religion, it’s crucial for the leaders to promote the ideals of the faith and divert any questions that cannot be answered. On a foundational level, I disagree with a religion that is unproven and inconsistent, because, if anything, a faith that is unproven should at least remain consistent throughout the work.

            So that’s the base ideological reason why, but there are still a lot of social reasons that more so just branch off from there. Mainly, that adhering stringently to the Bible necessarily sets up the human race for destruction/regression by discouraging change/evolution. I mean, there are so many reasons, but those I would say are the main ones why I left.

          • Jesusfreak17

            Thank you so much for explaining! That helps me understand so much better. First, I want to applaud you for asking the tough questions. It sounds like the people you went to for answers were sadly lacking. Possibly they were struggling with such questions themselves and didn’t want to deal with them. I am really sorry about that. Honestly, I agree with you. Faith should be consistent throughout. And I believe that Biblical Christianity is. While I can’t claim to be able to answer every question you have, there is a wonderful resource out there called the Christian Research Institute. I have struggled with questions of my own and have found satisfying answers when I have pursued them. Your (previous) church leaders are slightly right in that there are some things that have to be taken on faith, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept inconsistencies. I don’t believe there are any, but if you see things that you believe are inconsistent, I encourage you to figure them out. A few tips: 1. Context is a key thing that many people forget. If you take passages out of context, they often don’t make sense. 2. The other main problem is that we are reading the Bible in English, not the original languages. Looking at the original words can often help also. You sound very smart, so you may have already thought of these things, but maybe there’s other things you didn’t see. I don’t know.
            The other thing I’m picking up from your description of what these leaders were telling you is legalism, which is like the death of all true faith. Jesus repeatedly rebuked the legalistic leaders of his day (the Pharisees) because of that. Some background may help. The laws of the Old Testament (besides ones addressing morality) were there in order to set the Israelites apart. Another purpose was to show us how incapable of following these laws we truly are. When Jesus came, he eradicated the necessity of such laws. In fact, under those laws, there’s no hope. (That’s why the Israelites had to sacrifice animals before Jesus came). Jesus gave us the gift of salvation through his death– there’s nothing we can do to earn it. I’m sure you’ve experienced that first-hand as you attempted to be the follower you wanted to be. Obedience flows from loving Christ, and even then, we still really suck at it. I DEFIANTLY do. But God left us His awesome word so that we could live a fulfilling life in Him.
            Anyway, I know that was a rushed explanation, as I was attempting to NOT write a book, lol, but feel free to ask me any questions about what I said. And I hope you will seek out answers in other ways too, with the Christian Research Institute if you are comfortable, or with other resources.
            (PS. I will provide a link to the Christian Research Institute’s website in the following comment, but girldefined often takes awhile to verify links and I wanted you to be able to read this comment even if you couldn’t see the link. If it doesn’t appear for awhile, you should be able to find it on google.)

          • Avi yah

            So, you are saying the creator of the brain can’t cure it’s illness? Hmmm? How do You know?
            Why are you interested in promoting rather to trust in pharmaceutics than in the Creator of all things?

          • cassie kellogg

            Hi Avi, I’d like to point out that I do not promote having faith or blind trust in doctors (and I never said anything of the sort in any of my posts), rather, I’m saying that we should utilize doctors and therapists when it comes to mental illness. If you had a broken bone, you would go to the doctor to have it repaired, right? It’s no different when it comes to an ill mind.

            Also, I don’t presume to know what the “creator of the brain” can and can’t do, but to me, it’s not relevant either way. If you have a medical condition, you should seek help from medical professionals to treat you. Note also, that treatment comes in many ways, shapes, and forms, not just pharmaceuticals (which again, I never promoted, and had actually just said that it’s best to seek help from medical professionals who are qualified to determine a course of action).

          • Avi yah

            Cassie, it would be wise to only trust doctors to some extend. You know, I try to receive my cures and my answers directly from God, and to first go to him, because truely He knows best, He has all the knowledge, more than the “professionals”, and secondly depending on the circumstance I’d consider to maybe consult a doctor, like as you said, physical ilnesses and I have been quite successful with that so far. God healed me from what the doctor declared to be an allergy in Shavuot 2012, and he did so by just speaking through another of his believers.

            Also when it comes really to matters of the mind and heart, if you have someone who is trustworthy in regards of a biblical therapy then I don’t see anything wrong with it, but there are many therapeutic techniques that are questionable.
            And I don’t see why God wouldn’t be able to be everything that we need, to fulfill the role of a therapist and more than any therapist could offer.

          • Fuzzeh

            If Christians believe God created doctors and therapists, they should utilize them.

  • Great post Kristen! Thank you for this! 🙂 Although I have even taught others about the fact that our worth can only be found in Christ, I personally have had the same temptation to compare myself with other women. Thoughts like “her skin tone is so much more beautiful than mine” or “her hair is way better than mine could ever be” sometimes come to mind, but I have to remind myself that God has made no mistake in His design; I am just the way He wanted me to be. 🙂 (And by the way, I can’t wait to get my hands on the new book!! I’m sure “Girl Defined” will be an instant favorite!!)

  • Halee Westbrook

    Awesome!!

  • mackenzie

    how do i email this post to someone? it was such a true/great post!! thanks for posting

  • Kate Allred

    Great post! Thanks for the encouragement!


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