conference conference


Guys and Romance: Your Most Popular Questions Answered

By: Kristen Clark

When I was a single girl, I regularly had questions about guys rolling around in my head. From what I’ve seen, this is pretty normal for any single girl. I know many of you have guy questions too because you ask them through your comments, emails, and social media messages.

So, these types of questions are so popular, I’ve decided to dedicate this post to your guy questions. I’ve hand-picked 4 of the most common questions I hear from you and have attempted to answer them in a nutshell.

Ready? Here we go!

Question 1: What is a good age to start dating?

As many of you know, I opted out of the “casual dating” scene altogether (read post). Instead of asking “when should I start dating?,” it might be better to ask, “what is the purpose of a romantic relationship and why do I want to be in one?”

When we look at Scripture, we see that healthy romantic relationships are always linked to the pursuit of marriage, or within the context of marriage (Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Ruth and Boaz, Mary and Joseph, Song of Solomon, etc).

Basically, the Bible paints the picture that romance and marriage should go hand in hand. Instead of having a casual attitude about relationships, we should have an intentional one.

When we view relationships and romance as the route to marriage, we will most likely spare ourselves much heartache and emotional pain. My advice? Simply wait until you’re old enough to get married (which will vary for each person) before you dive into a romantic relationship.

Question 2: Is it better to be single than in a “struggling” relationship?

Many of you have friends that are in a “mediocre” relationship with a guy. And frankly, you’re feeling kind of jealous. You want the romance. You want the attention. You want the relationship status.

I know how you feel because I’ve felt that way in the past. I have two words for you: Don’t settle.

God has so many amazing opportunities for you to serve Him as a single girl! Don’t waste your time engaging in a mediocre relationship. Wait for a godly man to pursue you. Learn to view your single years as a gift from God to serve Him in a more focused and concentrated way.

You will be much for effective and productive for God as a thriving single girl than a struggling girl in an unhealthy relationship.

Question 3: Is it okay to chat online with guys?

In our modern age of technology, this has become a common question. When it comes to online chatting, we need to exercise a lot of caution. When a person chats online, they often feel more comfortable sharing personal, intimate information than they would in real life.

This has led countless girls down paths they later regretted.

Chatting online can also create a false sense of “love” when nothing is actually happening. There can also be a high level of privacy and secrecy that happens online and the temptation to compromise becomes strong.

My advice to you would be to avoid private online “chatting” with guys and instead engage in real-life Christ-centered relationships with guys. The next question will give you some tips on how to do that.

Question 4: How can I be JUST friends with a guy?

Having guy friends is tricky. That’s the bottom line. However, it can be done! Growing up, I always made it a point to hang with guy friends in group settings. This proved to be extremely beneficial for all involved.

I avoided making a guy my “best” friend for several reasons:

  • I didn’t want to have intimate convos with a guy who wasn’t my husband.
  • I didn’t want to risk either of us getting romantically hurt.
  • I had seen many deep guy/girl friendships end in disaster as a result of getting “too close.”
  • I thought down the road and knew that a deep guy friendship couldn’t last forever due to me potentially getting married someday (I’m sure my husband wouldn’t want me to have a best guy friend).

All in, guy friends can be an awesome thing, but you need to be intentional about pursuing Christ-centered actions, conversations, and emotions when with them. Make it a point to view Christian guys as your brothers in Christ and strive to help them become more like Jesus as a result of knowing you.

So there ya go! A few answers to some your guy questions.

However, I’m guessing you probably have a lot more questions. So…I have some exciting news to share with you!!

We (GirlDefined) are hosting our 2nd Live Online Event on March 24th, and the theme for this event is, Guys and Romance: Navigating Your Love Life in a God Honoring Way. 

Yay! During this exciting event, Bethany and I will be digging into what it means to build healthy friendships with guys, what true love looks like, and the essential building blocks for a Christ-centered future marriage. I will be sharing snippets from my own love story with a special guest appearance from my husband Zack, and Bethany will dig into her own journey of singleness, as well as personal insights from her new relationship with David!

No matter where you live, I hope you’ll join us for this exclusive online sisterhood event!

Grab your girlfriends, sisters and church group and join us on March 24th (12:30 CST) as we discover together how to navigate our love lives for God’s glory. For more details and tickets, click here. 

I hope to see you there!

Photo Credit

guy and girl talking

images images images
girl defined conference
Radical Purity

22 Responses to Guys and Romance: Your Most Popular Questions Answered

  1. Jessica says:

    I’m so excited about another live online event! Question: so if we are on Patreon and our level reward says “Quarterly live events”, does that mean we will get an email with access to the event at some point? Or how does that work? Thanks so much for all you both do! And I am SUPER excited for Bethany and her new relationship – I’ve prayed that a Christian man would come along for her! 😉 <3

    • GirlDefined says:

      Yes!! If your Patreon Level says you get a free ticket, we will email all current Patrons (of that level) a free access code the morning of the event. Yay!! 😀

  2. Katherine says:

    I have a friend who is a guy and we have grown up together you said we shouldn’t make a guy our best friend but we are best friends.

    • Kaiya J Fennell says:

      I am also confuzzeled. I have lots of guy friends and even have had a few I would have called my best friend. Since I’m not looking for a realationship why should I be concerned.?

      • Katherine says:


        • Kaiya J Fennell says:

          Thanks!!! I understand what she means a little bit. But I’ve had deep conversations with guys without either of us have any romantic feelings

          • Marietta says:

            I have a really good guy friend but we’re like siblings practically (dude we’re even born on the exact same day in the same hospital just to make the story crazier) but we both know we’d tear each other apart if we got married so we leave it at the sibling stage of things… I don’t tell my siblings everything just like I don’t tell him everything, but I do ask my siblings for advice, tease them and hang out with them and the same goes for him. So if your relationships are something like that then I say go for it, as long as you both on the same page.

          • Kaiya J Fennell says:

            Your are so lucky to be blessed with such a relationship!!

          • Marietta says:

            You are so right! And thank you for reminding me of this!

      • Shanae B says:

        When you’re younger neither member of the guy/girl friendship may have romantic feelings and things seem and at that time may be perfectly harmless. Yet down the road if one develops feelings and the other doesn’t, or if one gets into a relationship with someone else and that third person doesn’t like the friendship it becomes awkward or the two friends have to figure out if the close friendship has to end. It’s better to avoid hurting, drama, or a potential problem before it pops up! She’s isn’t saying to not be friends, but be mindful and aware of how close that friendship becomes!

    • Shanae B says:

      Check out my comment to Kaiya J Fennell!

  3. Shanae B says:

    Great post, totally agree!

  4. L Atkins says:

    Congratulations, Bethany!! I’m so happy for you! I am praying that God guides your relationship with David, and for the both of you!
    Thanks for this post, I totally agree!

  5. Chelsea Ejimakor says:

    Good post. Thanks for impacting positively on girls and women.

  6. ELLEN NELLE says:

    wow..ive learned a lot today.. 🙂

  7. Nola says:

    It’s fine to be bffs with a guy, a conversation can be intomate without been sexual or romantic

    • Shanae B says:

      Get a real education, grow up, and learn how to spell correctly.

      • There is no reason to be rude. She was just giving her opinion, the spelling mistakes are not a big deal. Also you tell her to grow up, but the way you are acting is immature. As believers we should have a safe place to discuss and ask questions, by being hostile, you only allow for more confusion.

        • Cathy says:

          THANK YOU UPSIDEDOWNQUESTIONMA_996!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i (cathy) was thinking the same thing. when me and my hubby fight (which doesnt happen often. we’re too busy doin other activities if u catch my tokyo drift LOL) he always smacks me upside the head with a Kombucha bottle. but do i care? NO! do i want to take the kids and run away with Clarke, my lawn boy? I mean, since we’re all Christians here, I’ve thought about it…. (Don’t tell God LOL!) however, what was the question again? sorry, i’m at a PTA meeting with Clarke (don’t ask) and the punch was a lil heavy on the PUNCH if you catch my tokyo drift… LOL

e-book img

Sign up to receive our blog posts via e-mail and get a copy of our free e-book:
Reaching Beyond Myself
30 Day Devotional

Privacy guarantee: We will never share your e-mail address with anyone else