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Guys Speak Out About Girls Showing Cleavage

By: Bethany Baird

The girls in the audience sat on the edges of their seats as they watched the video play. The speaker had recorded several different godly guys sharing their personal thoughts and opinions on the topic of modesty.

The guys were asked very specific questions about modesty and then the recording was replayed on the big screen for the girls.

One question was asked,  “When a girl shows midriff is that a temptation for you as a guy? Why or why not?”

The girls in the audience were shocked to hear the responses from the guys.

The girls had no idea that the clothes they wear could be such a hindrance and temptation to the Christian guys around them.

The girls in the audience had only viewed modesty from a girl’s mind, but never stopped to think of modesty from a guy’s perspective.

That’s exactly what I want to do in this blog. I want to bring in a few godly guys and have them share their thoughts on a very specific topic.

I’ve been observing and there seems to be a white elephant in the room that not many are addressing. I’m not sure if it’s because we as girls just don’t want to talk about it, or we don’t care, or that we’re just oblivious. It’s time to stop being oblivious and start talking about the elephant.

The white elephant in the room is this: Christian girls showing off cleavage.

I have a feeling some of you are thinking, “This is another legalistic post putting rules in the Bible that aren’t there.” Actually, no. This is simply a challenge to myself and to my sisters in Christ to rethink modesty in the area of showing off cleavage.

It’s a challenge to evaluate your current modesty standards and see if there is any way you can become more of a blessing to the Christian guys around you.

I want you to step out of your girly mind and try to view yourself from a guy’s perspective for just a minute.

Put all of your ideas about modesty on hold. Put your defenses down and open your ears and listen to what some godly guys think. Are you willing to do that? Here we go:

Godly Guy #1

“I don’t want to be dogmatic about it, but I would say that, in general, I do appreciate it when girls cover up cleavage…depending on the situation, it can be just a bit less distracting that way. Sometimes you can tell when a girl is trying to use the way she’s dressed as a way to get attention. It’s the spirit she has.”

Godly Guy #2

“Almost every time a woman’s cleavage is left exposed before a man’s eyes, the man will mentally acknowledge that part of the woman’s anatomy, and be tempted to sin.

Now, I understand that our culture’s dress code allows for women to show certain parts of their breasts. The sad fact of life, though, is that when men see a small part, it’s very easy for them to imagine the whole thing.

I don’t want anyone to hear me say that girls are responsible for my sin if I lust after them though. I have the power that comes from Christ to cut off the chain immediately after I’m tempted and keep myself from sinning.

I just want girls to know that I have a huge appreciation for those of you who are sensitive to the weaknesses found in their brothers in Christ, and who are kind enough to cover their intimate areas so that I am not sorely tempted to sin against God.”

Godly Guy #3

It’s confusing to me when Christian girls reveal cleavage. Our mission and aim as Christians is to show honor to God through what we do – and showing off your cleavage to the world, I’m pretty sure, isn’t directing people’s eyes to God; it’s directing them to your body.

I’d be honored and impressed if the girl I marry had realized early on what a precious gift her body was for me and my eyes alone and had decided not to reveal anything more than was necessary to the world.”

Godly Guy #4

When cleavage is revealed a whole new dimension (literally and mentally) to a girl’s body is opened up in a guy’s mind. It’s not like guys should try to ignore the fact that a girl’s body is different than his own. But just because guys know the difference doesn’t mean girls should let every guy see that difference.

Showing cleavage also exposes and reveals a private part of your body that should be saved for the enjoyment of your future husband. It just takes away how special it is, and diminishes the value of that part of your body.

Wow! Talk about insight into a guy’s perspective.

It’s so interesting to me that each one of those guys was basically against girls showing off cleavage. They each acknowledged that when a girl is showing cleavage, it’s distracting and can be a temptation. We should take that to heart and apply it to our outfit selections.

Here is the good news, there are still godly guys out there who value you for more than just your body. There are single guys out there striving for purity. That is really encouraging!

With all that being said, let me make a very clear point here: The ultimate purpose and goal for having any modesty standards should be to honor Christ first. Your heart should be focused primarily on honoring Christ in this area and as a result you will most likely bless your brothers in Christ. The purpose of this post is simply to give you an inside scoop into a godly guy’s brain.

Putting it into action.

I want to challenge you to think through each of these guy’s comments and evaluate your current wardrobe. When you get dressed each morning ask yourself these questions:

1. When I am talking with a guy will he be tempted to look at my chest instead of my face?

2. Is my shirt so tight that a guy can visualize vividly what’s underneath?

3. When I lean, bend, move etc., will the guys around me be able to see down my shirt?

4. What are my motives in wearing this top? Am I fishing for attention from guys and using my cleavage as a lure to get that?

5. If I think this shirt could be a temptation to guys, am I willing to change and wear something else?

If we each answered these questions honestly, I think it would change the way that we dressed. In the end though It comes down to your heart motivation. Do you desire to push your brothers in Christ towards purity? Do you desire to point their eyes towards Christ and not towards yourself?

When your heart’s desire is to point others to Christ and not yourself, dressing modestly becomes so much easier.

Wrapping it up.

We’ve just heard from several single godly guys who each expressed appreciation for girls who desire to help guys out by covering up their cleavage. These guys aren’t against a woman’s beauty or body, they just want to preserve their hearts and eyes for their future wife’s body.

There is a time and place to show off all of your God given beautiful body, but until you’re married it’s not the time. Just check out Proverbs 5:15-23 if you aren’t quite convinced of that. Or, take a quick scan in Song of Solomon and you will see that there is definitely a time to show off your beautiful body within the context of marriage.

Let me leave you with one more comment from a godly guy:

“Guys are 100% responsible for guarding their eyes and choosing not to lust. But it sure is a blessing when Christian girls choose to help us out by dressing modestly”

Let’s view our clothing choices as an opportunity to bless (not hinder) the Christian guys around us.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the guy’s comments about cleavage. Feel free to ask questions, share insight, or add to what’s been said.

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | another.point.in.time

Guys Speak Out About Girls Showing Cleavage

 

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  • Lally

    I agree with this but um, one question: what happens when you go to the beach?
    Haha seems a silly question but still, it’s kind of interesting to know if this applies to going to the beach too?

  • Great questions Laily! That’s one we have asked ourselves many times in the past. Our post on bikinis does a great job of explaining how we view beachwear. 🙂 Check it out:

    Are You Ready for Bikini Season?
    http://www.girldefined.com/ready-bikini-season

  • Kristina Stutzman

    This a great reminder for me to keep lookin at how I can improve my dress. And it’s always good to hear what guys think about different topics. Thank you!!

    • Jesse Brauning

      Sadly, these four ‘guys’ aren’t really what they seem. None are as godly as they claim to be. Don’t be fooled by men’s excuses for desiring modest women – weakness and lust have nothing to do with it. The only real reason a man prefers a modest woman, is because a woman willing to be modest for a man is a woman easily controlled by him. Men who ask for the women around them to modest are really just domineering, women-hating people.

  • Christine

    Good article. Wondering how you feel about swimming and bathing suits…?

  • Jacey Faith

    Great article Bethany! I have always wondered what guys think of how I dress. Thanks for doing this, it was a huge help!

  • DA

    Very interesting and informative viewpoints! I’ve read tons of articles about modesty, especially with regards to men’s viewpoints on it, but I still learn something new every time. I’m a bit busty myself, so I always try to pay extra attention to that area of my body. My only issue is I like my clothes to fit (not tightly, but not super loose either). Now I wonder if maybe the way my clothes fit may not be as modest (to guys) as I thought o_O lol, this is definitely something I will keep in mind for the future!

  • Kim

    My husband likes to say that its the guy’s responsibility to guard his eyes. When a Christian woman puts it all out there many guys just won’t come and talk to her because they don’t want to sin with their eyes. For guys, a practical means to do that is just staying away. So, for all those single ladies complaining about guys not coming around, just covering up is a REALLY good first step to inviting great guys who love Jesus to come and talk to you. The good guys will be working HARD not to look at you lustfully. Its a deterrent when you show your cleavage. I think the harder thing for me, as a wife, is when other married women put it all out there. We were recently at a church event where an elder’s wife came out with all guns blazing. My husband was being careful with his eyes, but she was all over socializing with everyone. He finally found a corner and examined the bushes. Later he said “I really wish women, especially married women, would be more careful about how they dress. It creates a situation, as a guy, where you don’t have a safe place to put your eyes.”

    • lois

      My boyfriend said he chased me as I dressed modestly and that many other women dressed like sl*ts. He dismissed immodestly dressed women as sl*ts. True, if you dress immodestly, good men will avoid you and both women and men will judge your character negatively. You might get a lot of whistles and second glances but your value has been diminished.

  • Jayme

    I think we need to address the bottom half of our bodies as well. You can have a long, sleeve turtleneck 2 sizes to big but if you’re wearing a mini skirt or Daisy Dukes with it then the purpose seems almost defeated. Some think that as long as the skirt goes below the knee it is sufficient but we need to consider splits in the skirt and the tightness of it (showing curves, riding up when sitting, bending over, etc.). Just a few thoughts. This is a great article! I also appreciate the approach that it isn’t a brow beating, as so many do about the fact we ‘need to protect men from lust’, but more of a suggestion that we should give it sincere consideration to help them.

  • Catrina

    This is really interesting. I never thought about how a godly guy sees cleavage. I am a pretty modest girl but sometimes I don’t think about how certain clothes look to guys. I will be more careful. I didn’t know guys had these opinions and am glad i know they do so I can be more aware of it.

  • Jesse Brauning

    Not going to approve my comment, eh? Don’t want a real debate, just head bobbing and agreement? Shame.

  • Jesse Brauning

    After the four ‘Godly Guys’ got on stage or whatever, they invited Godly Guy number 5 up, and he had some interesting things to say:

  • Jesse Brauning

    To Godly Guy 1 – Mr. Easily Distracted:

    “Hey dude, did you know that the way girls dress isn’t all about you? Sometimes girls pick their clothes because they like their bodies and they like the way their clothes look. If it distracts you and leads you to sin, maybe you need to do some soul searching and ask yourself why you are so easily distracted. Are you unhappy or unsatisfied in your current relationship?”

  • Jesse Brauning

    To Godly Guy 3 – Mr. Confused:

    “Okay, let me get this straight. You’re confused when girls want to celebrate their bodies, which God gave them, and feel pride instead of shame? All eyes should be on God and not on girls, right? So I hope you never celebrated publicly after scoring the winning touchdown on the Football field, right? Or high-fived another guy ever at all, right? Because I’m pretty sure almost anything you do in your life is going to make people around you think about you in some way. Sure, giving God glory is great, but your implication is that its not possible to glorify God through mundane and secular actions, or through a good body-image and attractive visual appearance. Please. No wonder you’re confused. I think you need to go back to school and study the reformed worldview a little more carefully.”

  • Jesse Brauning

    To Godly Guy 4 – Mr. I Learned Anatomy in School and that was Plenty Thanks:

    “This guy, amiright? Yeesh. The weakness and corruptibility of the male brain is a crutch we dudes like to lean on an awful lot, isn’t it? I’m going to gloss over the weird circular logic you used at first – Your ‘girls shouldn’t let guys see their bodies because let’s be real, they saw breasts once on an anatomy poster and that was plenty till marriage thanks’ holds a lot of water – I mean, wait, what? Why can’t guys see girls’ bodies again? Oh that’s right, you didn’t say. You just said they shouldn’t. You know, Guy 4, I don’t really see you as a spiritual leader, so I don’t really feel compelled to take your word on this one. The real doozy, though, is the bomb you drop in your second argument. So every time a guy sees a part of a girls’ body, there’s this magic virginity meter that loses some health, right? That’s what I’m getting from this. The specialness and value of a girl’s body is based on this virginity meter, and God is happiest when that meter is chock full right up until the vows are sealed with a kiss – baloney! What a bunch of woman-hating nonsense! There is absolutely nothing a man can do to a woman by looking at her, touching her, or anything that will decrease her specialness and value, and there is no such thing as a virginity meter. That’s just something you invented in your head to feel more like you are the sole owner of the woman you marry, which, sorry for you, is another woman-hating lie you tell yourself.”

  • Jesse Brauning

    To Godly Guy 2 – Mr. Tricky Talker:
    “Wow, man. You realize you can’t have your cake and eat it too, right? Either it is your responsibility to avoid sinning, or its her responsibility to keep you from sinning. Since your sins are your own problem, which you yourself acknowledge, why do you still put the onus on the woman to cover her body?…

  • Jesse Brauning

    News flash, ladies: Guys are more complex and mature than you give them credit for or allow them to be. They are responsible not only for their own sin, but also for allowing you the control over your body that you deserve as a full and equal human being. If they try to guilt you into increased ‘modesty’ with claims of gratitude and pleas of weakness, they’re just using you as a crutch to keep them from having to be real human beings themselves.

  • Jesse Brauning

    Don’t let men dictate what you wear, wear what makes you happy. Let men take care of themselves.” -END

  • Jesse Brauning

    There we go. Maybe some of my post made it through now.

  • Jesse Brauning

    …And If you’re so good at avoiding sinning, then why is it still a sore temptation when you look at parts of a woman’s body? Your breast fixation must be pretty severe if its so easy for you to imagine a woman without clothes because you saw some cleavage. Do you watch a lot of p o r n in secret? I bet you do.”

  • Beverly

    The one thing that isn’t mentioned here is what the sin is that they fight so hard to not do and why it is so easy for them to sin. I have spoken to a very godly man about this same issue, he he explained is that it only takes a second for that sin and that is to “finish the picture” in his mind. cleavage, mid-drift, skin tight clothes…..the image can quickly get “finished” of what the rest of it looks like and so on.

  • Rebecca

    Great post!!!! You don’t know how good this is to hear!!

  • Jaryn Froah

    I honestly never thought about this much before. Its a big eye opener to me! Thank you for posting this.

  • Hurricane

    So, in other words, breast are bad and we need to cover them up, lest a male be tempted to imagine that they exist under that shirt and think about them. This is really not ok to put this kind of body shame and responsibility on a girl to be always be dressing for the benefit of men (that is what this article is asking). Yes, women have breasts. Sometimes they are large. Think about the boys! What will a boy think about this shirt? Will this cause him to imagine me in an impure way? Maybe we should be talking to the young men about dealing with their impure thoughts and temptations if this is a problem rather than shifting the problem to the young women.

    • Amy Miller

      Oh please, you missed the whole point! Put your defenses down and simply put youself in a mans shoes. Yes, we as women ( Christian women) need to be more concerned about causing our brother to stumble by keeping ourselves modestly covered. Havent you heard by now that God has designed men and women differently in that men are aroused,.turned on by sight and women by touch etc? If we who are call ourselves Christians dont love our brothers in Christ enough to cover those parts that God intendex for only our husbands then I question our walk with God. Dress as women who profess godliness…. What did God mean by that? Im sure He didnt mean, expose your cleavage!

      • Judy Peterson

        Or your crotch by wearing pants.

        • lois

          Judy — you mean “tight pants.” I am a modest woman and I don[t consider wearing pants immodest.

          • Judy Peterson

            No, I don’t mean “tight pants.” I mean all pants. I do not hate on women who wear pants. MANY of my friends wear them. I do, however, want women to consider my views on this–especially if they have daughters.

            I began wearing skirts and dresses only about five years ago (I am 66 years old, so I wore pants for a LONG time). Here is what changed my mind about all pants. (I will not hate you if you disagree).

            Pants form a V that draws attention to the center of a woman’s sexuality. When a woman wears pants, the attention can easily be drawn there–even from the back and even in loose-fitting pants. The form of a woman’s buttocks is also usually openly displayed.

            When teenagers and young girls sit in their pants with their legs spread apart, there is nothing more than a thin piece of cloth hiding their most intimate areas. The eye is drawn there. Even though that area is covered, the mind of a young man (and old men as well) can think beyond the cloth! It is not enough for a simple piece of material to hide and protect that area.

            We women are naive, I think, about what arouses the thoughts of males. When a girl/woman wears a MODEST skirt or dress, there is no exposure of the groin area either from the front or from the back.

            I do not expect that many women will agree with me. I only ask that we be open to really evaluating the nature of pants and why they can be offensive and provocative. I do not want my daughters or my granddaughters to openly draw attention to that which God meant to be private and only for the eyes of a husband. That includes even the “covered” area.

            I ask women to do a week’s test and really concentrate on women in pants. Try to put yourselves in a man’s place and really evaluate what you see. How many times do you see a woman’s buttocks clearly outlined? How many times do you see the crotch area of a woman or girl openly displayed–only covered by a thin piece of material?

            That is the problem with pants–not just the tightness.

  • Jim Schreur

    I’m a dad of 5 daughters who are all physically attractive. From the earliest days of their lives I have tried to help them understand that as much of a blessing it may be, it is also something that can be hard to have be a part of who they are. Although it is the word usually used, I think the use of the term modesty is not the best way to get at the real issue. In I Timothy 2, Paul also uses the terms decency and propriety (appropriate) which I think make a deeper point. Something that is immodest can be a big fancy house in a run down neighborhood. It’s not bad, it just sticks out like a sore thumb and gets all the attention.

    Decency is defined “polite, moral, and honest behavior and attitudes that show respect for other people”. The definition of propriety is “fear of offending against conventional rules of behavior especially between the sexes”. I think these words don’t get the attention they deserve. The word that isn’t used in the bible but I think makes the most sense is “provocative” because it describes the way women are encouraged to dress. Websters defines provocative “serving or tending to provoke, excite, or stimulate”.

    The author of this article wisely points out the responsibility men/boys have, but women need to think of it too. They need to be honest about their motives in how they dress and see that dressing provocatively tempts men and degrades themselves.

  • Casey apling

    I find that if a young man, especially a young man that has worked out and have amazing muscles, and have their shirts off, make me have impure thoughts. Also the bulge in their pants also makes me have impure thoughts as well. These young men are making me have these impure thoughts need to stop. I suggest they wear baggy pants and no tight shirts, and never take your shirts off. It’s causing me to sin.

  • Jennifer

    This is a great conversation starter, but I don’t think my conversation would focus so much on modesty though. You see, these types of articles chap my hide a bit. Impure thoughts come from the heart. Nobody MAKES you have them. If you realize this is a weak area for you, male OR FEMALE, then it is your responsibility to keep that in check. It is not the responsibility of the people around you. If someone is tempted to be a thief, is that the fault of the mother that left her wallet sitting in the diaper bag and then carelessly left it just sitting on the pew while walking away to visit other members at church? If somebody is prone to lie, is it our fault because we keep talking to them? These types of articles shift the focus to the person who is being looked at lustfully instead of squarely onto the person who is actually doing the sin. Yes, we shouldn’t run around scantily clad. But, then again, the definition of that is also subject to the culture you are living in. We need to be teaching our daughters AND SONS that their heart and soul are their own responsibility and that nobody else can bring them into or out of a relationship with God except themselves. When standing before the throne of God would you really have the nerve to start offering up the excuse that I was made to lust because I could see cleavage? And likewise, when you stand before the throne of God are you really going to try and justify why you wore a bikini to the beach?

    • Judy Peterson

      Modesty is NOT driven by culture, Jennifer. Women in this culture know what modesty is–they simply decide to ignore it because they dress for themselves. They dress to be “hot.” They dress to be “sexy.” They dress to turn men’s heads and be noticed. Any woman who does not acknowledge this is lying to herself when she looks at her skinny jean-clad backside and thinks she looks “good.” Today’s clothing for women is not modest; it is meant to entice and provoke. Many Christian women dress to accommodate the culture and not to please God. There should not be found on the body of a chaste Christian woman skinny jeans, short shorts, and bathing suits. In fact, I don’t think pants belong on a Christian woman period. The buttocks and the crotch of a woman’s body should not be so exposed and outlined that her private areas are points of focus. When only a thin piece of clothing separates a woman’s most intimate, sexual parts, there is no modesty. It is a thing of shame.

      Culture does not change the truths of the Bible. Women are told to be modest. We know what that means–we just don’t like it and we don’t care whom it affects.

      • Jennifer

        The word MODESTY has changed in meaning over time. When Peter asks women to dress in modest apparel, he is not talking about how much skin is showing. He is talking about dressing so as not to bring a great deal of attention to yourself.

        Plus, when I’m out working my farm, it is not practical for me to wear a dress. And, FYI, when you wear a dress there is still just a thin piece of clothing (if you are wearing underwear) between a woman’s most intimate parts and the world. Also, a dress leaves less of a barrier to access than pants do.

        The bottom line to all of this is that it is our responsibility to keep ourselves in check. As I wrote above, I get the impression God isn’t going to be too interested in hearing our excuses as to why we committed sins.

        • Judy Peterson

          Yes, dresses can be immodest, but I don’t think I was clear in how they differ from dresses. If a dress is so tight that a woman’s buttocks are outlined and the imprint of her underwear can be seen, that is not modest.

          With proper skirts and dresses, the buttocks are not framed and the crotch area and thighs are not exposed. With pants, the buttocks and the crack between them that leads to a woman’s private area is visible to the eye. If a woman bends over, a man can easily think about access to that area. It is exposed except for a thin piece of material. When a woman stands or sits in tight jeans especially, the eye automatically is drawn to the crotch by the V that is formed. Men easily think about that which is beneath that exposed area covered only by a cloth. I often see girls sitting in tight jeans with the legs spread. Women think nothing of that, but many men will struggle with their thoughts about the exposed crotch area that is not visible with modest skirts and dresses.

          This is my problem with pants, and it has nothing to do with the “as pertaineth unto a man” argument. The woman’s body should not be outlined in such a way that her shape and private areas are drawn attention to. Modesty, no matter what the age or what the culture, demands that those areas be concealed by more than a strip of cloth but by that which hides the total form of the flesh beneath. I am not advocating gunny sacks or burkas, just modest skirts and dresses that draw attention to a woman’s face!

          • lois

            I once sat in a Starbucks cafe and watched woman after woman come in with yoga pants tthat showed every nook and crany, leaving nothing to the imagination. When they rested their behinds on chairs as they waited in line, the chair lifted and separate, giving everyone an eyeful of their butt cheeks and everything in between.

            Some female pants are cut in a way that outlines one’s buttocks and private area….it is possible not to dress in that way.

            I don’t know how female don’t know any better. When I Was a little girl, I knew what was appropriate or not, what was sexy or not, and what types of outfits drew attention to my body. I cannot believe todays’ girls’are that oblivious. They are doing it because they are trying to be cool, hot, or just don’t know any better.

      • lois

        Judy — I don’t think “pants” are immodest. Goodness…but I know what you are talking about….Men’s pants seem to be more loose fitting whereas women’s pants are often designed to show every curve of the behind and sometimes genitals. That is why some women pose for pictures with their head looking over their shoulder with their behind facing the camera so that the spectator can get a full view of her private area. Gross if you ask me. Not all women’s pants are cut that way, however. You can wear a nice pair of pants that flatters your figure without compromising your modesty.

        • Judy Peterson

          Lois, the problem with ALL pants is that they are designed to form a V. As one follows that V, he comes to the crotch area. All that covers a woman’s very intimate area is a thin piece of clothing. This is true in loose-fitting pants as well. ALL pants form that V. Young girls and women especially carry themselves in such a matter that draws further attention to that area.

          Sitting with one’s legs apart NATURALLY draws the eye to the crotch area. The covering is not enough to keep a young man’s imagination in check. From the front and from the back, pants draw attention to an area of a woman’s body that is intended only for her husband’s perusal!

          Pants are immodest–by their very design and nature. Loose-fitting or not, pants expose that which should be hidden, even covered by material.

          • Candice

            If you’re going to go so far as shame pants, you might as well tell women to wear a burka to “stop tempting men”. Oy. Men run around wearing pants that hug their behind and shirts that show their defined arms and chest, but no one ever criticizes them for being “immodest”. If a man can’t keep his eyes off my fully clothed crotch, then they need a good lesson in self-control. That’s their problem, not mine.

          • Judy Peterson

            It IS your problem. It is apparent that you do not understand the make up of men and their struggles in this area. The VAST majority of women are NOT sexually aroused by men’s exposed arms and legs. They were not designed to.

            It is also apparent that you do not care how your actions affect others. The truth remains that MANY women know exactly the type of temptation they are inflicting upon men. They expose their breasts, and then chastise men for not looking at their eyes when they speak to them. They wear form fitting dresses, tops, and pants and then complain when men look them up and down.

            Why do YOU dress the way you do? Do you dress for attention? Do you dress to entice? Do you dress to be fashionable? Do you give ANY thought to the men who are wired to be aroused by your body shape and exposure?

            Women basically fall into two areas in this matter: (1) They are careless or naive in their clothing choices, and give no thought to how those choices could affect others. (2) They deliberately set out to arouse and stimulate a man’s sexual desires in order to manipulate and control.

            Both are inexcusable. When a woman knows a man’s weaknesses but for selfish reasons intentionally exacerbates them, she IS to blame for what he thinks and what he does. It is more HER problem than his. If you love men, you will help them succeed in this area and not cause them to stumble.

          • Amrita

            Judy, thanks for the laugh!

  • Jacob

    I think the problem here has more to do with the lack of personal responsibility for ones thoughts and actions than it does with women showing cleavage. If anything, the cleavage and provocative clothing of christian females should be seen as an opportunity for mental and spiritual growth by males. Strengthening ones conviction, and will to be a “godly guy” through the resistance of a sexualy driven mentality.

    • Jennifer

      Amen Jacob. You get it!

      • Judy Peterson

        No he doesn’t and neither do you, Jennifer. It is difficult enough for men to resist sexual sin. Women who think it is OK to give men an “opportunity for mental and spiritual growth” in this area will in MOST cases end up providing a stumbling block instead.

        Are we to push the boundaries as far as we possibly can in hopes that we will not succumb? No! Women do not listen to the pleadings of men in this area for one simple reason and one simple reason only–selfishness. “I’m going to wear what I want to wear and I don’t care whom it affects.”

        Jennifer, can you ascertain which men out there are able and willing to resist “a sexually driven mentality” and which are not? You are not. When should err on the side of excess modest instead of always trying to push the limits for their own self-centered desires (e.g. fitting in, wanting to look attractive, wanting to be “comfortable,” etc.).

        • Jennifer

          Judy, I took what Jacob wrote tounge in cheek. Allow me to reword what he wrote in the manner in which I took it.:

          The problem here has more to do with the lack of personal responsibility for ones thoughts and actions than it does with how others are dressed. Let’s just flip this around and look at this from another perspective. Men could view the cleavage and provocative clothing of females as an opportunity for mental and spiritual growth. You could view these females as strengthening ones conviction and will to be a more “godly guy” through the resistance of a sexually driven mentality.

          Does that justify provocative attire? No it does not! In the same way provocative attire does not offer an excuse for immoral thoughts.

          Quit justifying the sin!

          • Judy Peterson

            Jennifer, I was in NO way justifying a man’s sin for his indecent and immoral thoughts. You are accusing me for not saying something. That’s not fair. I was not addressing the man’s fault in these matters. But since you misunderstood, let me be plain. No man is ever justified in lusting after a woman who is not his wife. Period.

            In light of that, however, no one is to provoke another person to sin. This is what I was addressing.

  • ;pos

    As a heterosexual woman, I felt cleavage distracting and immediately have a lower opinion of the woman in my mind in terms of her morals and character. I also have no interested in her friendship or partnership. She just looks cheap, desperate, and slutty.

    The only place I see cleavage typically is on television — and I immediate keep thinking the woman in question should cover up, that her exposure is not as great as she thinks it is. Often she debases her body and is trying too hard to be sexy. You can see the sagging breasts and weird camera angles that make them jiggle. I think the audience doesn’t think she’s sexy, but rather is debasing the woman’s body, with the woman allowing herself to be debased.

    My female manager once decided to show cleavage in the office. She came in, with both breasts exposed and then clunked them both on the talbe, pretty much giving me an eye full. Instead of listening to her, I had to use my mental energy not to look at her immodesty. The display was gross and unsettling — and my view was she did this as a power play over other women who are more competent than she is. Managers were impressed with the performance of other woman. This cheap manager “competed” by whipping out her breasts.

    Honestly, I have never seen her the same since. Even when she covers up now, all I can think of is that image of that gross woman calling me into her office and then bending over and clunking her two big breasts on the desk while she talked to me.

    Incidentally she is also a classless, immoral woman who is known to cheat customers and to get drunk at office parties. She is married with children and has the morals of an alley cat. Typically immodest women advertise their low virtue by displays of cleavage. Good woman know otherwise, no matter how much immoral women try to rationalize their sin.

    • cheeze.wiz

      I stopped reading after your first sentence… You’re ignorant

  • texassa

    Christians sure do seem to put a lot of consideration into what women should and shouldn’t be doing in all areas of life because of the way they may affect or be approved by men.

  • Amanda M.

    Well, it’s a good thing I don’t really care what guys think. I show a bit of cleavage because *I* like my cleavage. If a guy gets that distracted by a little cleavage, I’m going to wonder how he functions on a day to day basis.

  • JasonA

    Maybe we should follow the Muslim example of putting all women in burkas? That seems to work out really well. We could strip them of all jewelry so that their good looks that God created wont be a problem and cause men to have “thoughts”. We could beat them when they even so much as look at a guy since “guys are just too weak to have self control”. That will teach them to be modest. Would that solve the problem of these poor weak men that cant possibly help themselves? Maybe we should just segregate the sexes so there wont be any problems? Or we could just castrate all men so they don’t have any sexual thoughts at all. Would that make you happy?
    In my opinion, if a guy really has that much of a lack of control over himself in normal society then he needs to remove himself from society and get help instead of trying to make society change to his disabilities.
    Seriously, its a slippery slope. First its the cleavage (which I’m sorry to break it to you girls, its not that big of a deal) then its the tightness of the clothing or shape or color or whatever the thought police decide next.
    Get past yourself and start praying for the real reasons that we are here …. to help people with real needs.

  • cheeze.wiz

    So glad I’m not a straight man… It must be so hard to get through a day

    • Emily

      HAHA IKR

    • Jamie

      As a gay woman… IT IS

  • Nannoo

    “Godly Guy” LOL
    More like sexist.


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