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Happily Ever After with His Wife’s Last Name

By: Bethany Beal

My younger sister, Ellissa, was sitting in Starbucks recently when she overheard a conversation by two of the baristas. It went like this:

Guy #1 “When I get married, I’m going to take on my wife’s last name because it’s more socially acceptable.”

Guy #2 “Really?”

Guy #1 “Yeah! It’s more socially acceptable these days.”

Wow! What a conversation.

I was aware of modern girls saying “no” to the name change, but I didn’t realize that guys were okay with taking on their wife’s last name.

That was news to me.

Thankfully one of my favorite authors has already tackled the tough topic of why it’s crucial to say “I do” to the name change. You can check out her article here.

I want to focus in on God’s incredible design for marriage and why you as a girl should shout for joy to take on your future man’s last name, and not the other way around.

Marriage isn’t about political correctness or social acceptance.

It’s about representing Christ and His relationship to the Church. It’s a paradigm that points to something greater than ourselves.

Christ is the bridegroom and we as the Church are the bride. It’s very clear throughout Scripture that we as girls represent the Church and guys represent Christ (Ephesians 5:25-27)

Think about it. When you accept Christ as your Savior He doesn’t take on your identity, you take on His (John 1:12)

You become:

  1. A new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)

  2. A royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9)

  3. A child of God (John 1:12)

  4. The body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27)

  5. A temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

  6. The bride of Christ (Revelation 17:7-9)

When you accept Christ as your Savior you take on His identity. You no longer represent yourself but Christ. You are His.

In God’s perfect wisdom He has chosen to make marriage a reflection of this picture. A picture of the gospel.

How foolish would it be for you to accept Christ as your Savior and then expect Him to take on your name? Or your identity? Pretty foolish.  

In the same way, as a Christian girl, it’s just as foolish to demand that your future husband (or current husband) take on your last name. How does that reflect the gospel in any way, shape or form? It doesn’t!

It’s not Biblical and it doesn’t point to the awesomeness of Christ’s plan for marriage.

Side Note: Before you blow your top remember that the guy represents Christ. What did Christ do for His bride? He laid down His life for her (Ephesians 5:25).

When we as Christians choose to fully accept Christ’s plan for marriage, it’s the most beautiful picture on earth. It’s a reflection of the greatest act of love ever shown. It’s a picture of the gospel. And you are being invited to represent that picture.

I love how Mary Kassian says it: “Since the relationship between husband and wife is a paradigm of the relationship between Christ and the church, Christian women who change their name model and bear witness to the reality of Christ changing our names when we enter a relationship with Him.”

Now tell me, who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? I know I do!

I highly doubt Mr. Barista Guy #1 will ever read this blog but if by a miracle he does, I hope that He will change his mind about taking on his future wife’s last name.

It’s time we as girls joined together, and as Mary Kassian puts it “say I do” to the name change.

  • Will you say “I do” to the name change when you get married?

  • What do you think about a guy taking on a girl’s last name? Is it Biblical?

  • Are you willing to be a part of the incredible story of the gospel that God has allowed you to participate in?

  • If someone were to ask you “why should I as a girl take on my husband’s last name” what would you say?

I’d love to continue this conversation in the comments section below. Write me a note and I’ll be sure to get back to you.

Photo credit: | alesk

Yellow Car. Just Married


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