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Hope for the Girl Who’s Miserable and Lonely

By: Guest Blogger

I can remember a time when, as a teenager and young adult, I was lonely.

Really lonely.

It was a constant struggle and I always felt like I was on the outside looking in as I watched my friends and peers in their budding relationships.

I have vivid memories of crying and praying that I would somehow find the person God had for me. My study bible had tears on the pages as I searched for scripture that would be encouraging in my moments of intense loneliness.

There were times I felt miserable. 

Since that time, I have learned so much about where some of those thoughts and feelings originate. I have since become a wife and mother and I’ve also realized more and more just how our spiritual enemy works against us. 

I’ve learned that what tends to happen is that in daily life, ideas are planted in our heads. Some are encouraging and true, while many are definitely not. If we dwell on and feed into those unhelpful and unhealthy thoughts, they take root they begin to grow. Those roots go deeper and deeper until they become core beliefs, or “strongholds” as scripture calls them.

They become the information that we use to view and interpret the world around us.

Basically, those thoughts are going to impact how we see ourselves, how we see those around us, how we see God, and how we see our own futures. 

Unfortunately, when those core beliefs are not true, and they are in direct contradiction to what scripture says, it creates a  great deal of anxiety, fear, and depression. When we look around at all the messages in the world around us and we hear the whispers of the enemy, those messages taunt us and they wear us down. 

We get bombarded by messages like, “you’re not enough unless you have a significant other,” or “what’s wrong with you that no one wants to spend their life with you?” In fact, I was even asked at one point what was wrong with me that I wasn’t married yet!


When we make a conscious choice to acknowledge those lies from the enemy and replace them with what God says is true, while wearing our spiritual armor, it makes all the difference in the world. 

Scripture says that our struggles are not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces.

It says that we need to wear our spiritual armor and be on alert against the enemy. That means all of those thoughts-all of those discouraging, defeating, destructive thoughts that are planted on our heads-we need to be aware of them and replace them with the Word of God.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:12-13

God’s Word is your sword. It’s not an accessory.

It’s a weapon to be used to defend yourself against the enemy. You can defend yourself against those thoughts by choosing to dig into God’s Word and believing the promises inside of it. 

  • What are some of your favorite verses that tell truth about who you are in Christ?
  • What are some of your favorite verses about your value as a child of the King?
  • What can you choose to dwell on every time the enemy tries to trip you up with the lies he has given you?


The Author: Keri Kitchen is the wife of her childhood friend, mother of 3 little boys on earth and one little girl in Heaven, and a daughter of the King. Keri is also a mentor, blogger, and speaker with Every Day Incredible, a ministry for Christian women seeking a Christ-centered life balance. 

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11 Responses to Hope for the Girl Who’s Miserable and Lonely

  1. Nelli Savchenko says:

    Thank you! I needed this today! I have been kind of struggling with something similar to that! Thank you Jesus!

  2. Shanae B says:

    God’s Word is your sword. It’s not an accessory. I love that! We really do need to be ready for thought and feeling battles at every turn. Very true post, thanks for sharing!

  3. Snarky says:

    Yeah…. When you’re sad, lonely and depressed don’t seek out actual therapy or help, talk to your imaginary friend!!!

    • Heather Hemsley says:

      One, God is not imaginary… and two, if you are depressed, you can still seek out therapy. There’s nothing wrong with that. But God should always be the first answer to everything cause he’s the one that helps you the most. And like Mrs. Kitchen was saying, if you read the Bible and put on the spiritual armor of God, the lies of loneliness will be shielded away. 🙂 Four, if you don’t agree with half of GirlDefined’s posts, why on earth do you still read them?

      • Snarky says:

        Ehhh I just think it can be potentially harmful if you have serious depression and you just try to pray it away. You’re not going to get serious results since depression and other mental illnesses are due to a chemical imbalance in the brain and isn’t a spiritual issue. I think it’s fine if a person with a mental illness wants to pray and that helps them, however prayer should not be a replacement for professional help in these situations. Depression left untreated can get worse, cause other mental illnesses and lead to suicide in serious cases. I think that if a person realises they have mental health problems they should first seek professional help and then on the side pray if that helps them. I know that for some people prayer and meditation can be calming, but it’s not a replacement for treatment.

        • Ruth says:

          No where in this post does it say prayer is a SUBSTITUTE for professional help. I’m not sure where you grabbed that from. Everyone needs Christ in order to live a full-filled life (this looks a bit different for everyone but basically a life that has joy at its roots and not just temporary happiness). I have suffered from depression before on several occasions and the best thing to do is to let go ie not worry about anything because God takes care of His children. Hebrews 13:5; Matt 6:25-34 (If you’re not saved then that doesn’t apply). The idea in this post is that prayer is just as important in life as anything else. It’s not something “you do on the side.” We should seek help both on earth and in heaven not one over the other. I sought help from friends and strangers as well as God and looking back I’m glad I didn’t give in to my depression.

        • hannah says:

          my best friend suffers form Depression and say that meds do help but God helps more so.

      • Anon says:

        The proper response to legitimate issues is therapy. If you are chemically depressed or miserable because of abusive, you ought to seek professional help. It’s not “prayer comes first” or “therapy comes first”. They are both important.

        “Prayer” here can mean Christian prayer, meditation, self-reflection, etc.

  4. Anna says:

    Thank you so much! What is her blog called?

  5. hannah says:

    Thanks for this post.

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