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How Comparison Can Become Poison to Your Soul

By: Guest Blogger

It was already late in the evening when I found myself sitting in front of my laptop googling beauty tips: How can I put on my makeup in a way that conceals my trapezoidal face? What haircut would suit me best? Is there a secret to clear skin?

Well, I’m the girl who always changes her hair color, the one who sleeps with coconut oil in her hair (my hair really seems healthier these days, I’m not kidding!), and tries out cosmetic products when friends tell her about how effective they are.

It always takes place in the same way.

At first, I’m very excited and hopeful that the new beauty advice would finally help and make me feel more fulfilled this time. I try the new mascara, the contouring-stick, the zinc oxide cream and wait for the result.

Sometimes, I’m happy about my new accomplishment, but this euphoria only lasts until I see a new picture on Instagram that shows a woman who seems to have everything I don’t have (beautiful wavy hair, an oval-shaped face, and tanned skin).

I wish I could tell you now, “Haha, I’m just kidding. I’m absolutely not like that outward-obsessed girl.

In my heart, I know that God created me exactly how He wanted me to be such as David says in Psalm 139. The truth is that I need to read this passage in the Bible perhaps every day. I guess I even need to wallpaper my room so that I would never forget what it says: “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well” (Psalm 139:14).

But the enemy doesn’t want me to believe in God’s love, grace, and faithfulness. He wants me to listen to his lies and to believe them. He wants to weaken me…to make me doubt my identity in Christ and to distance me from embracing God’s grace. The Enemy of my soul knows how to use not only social media but many other sources in my daily life to do just that.

I believe one of those serious fiery arrows of the enemy is the comparison.

Do you realize how comparison poisons you and steals your joy? If we compare ourselves to others and conclude that they have something we don’t, but want to have (e.g. that they are more beautiful, more talented, more intelligent and more successful), we start feeling unhappy and ungrateful.

Comparison causes more than dissatisfaction. Behind our frustration hides an even bigger problem: We are accusing God.

Our message is: “God, you are not good. All the blessings you have given me aren’t enough. I know better than You for what I need – and I desperately need that shiny hair, that cute apartment, that job, a boyfriend, etc. Only then can I be truly happy.”

However, in the midst of our grumbling hearts, we must remember this truth: God is holy – we are dust. God is perfect – we are sinners. Our Lord is so holy that we’re not able to see His face. God covered Moses while His glory passed by because otherwise Moses would have died immediately (Exodus 33:20).

God is our creator, He knows what we need and He already gave us so much more than we deserve. 

He sacrificed Himself to set you free from all your sin, from everything that separates you from Him. And now, “Stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

Do not be overcome by your own sinful pride and idolatry – don’t be a slave of comparison, but test your heart and bring all your dissatisfaction to the cross. Ask God to fill your heart with His joy and His peace. You are a daughter of the one true King – abide in your relationship with Christ. Sister, we are on this journey together. Let’s be faithful.

I’d love to hear from you below.

  • In what ways are you currently struggling with comparison?
  • What can you do in order to defend yourself from the deceitful “fiery arrows” of the enemy?

This guest post was written by Mirjana Joy Mertin from Church Girl Blog. 

Photo Credit

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Radical Purity

9 Responses to How Comparison Can Become Poison to Your Soul

  1. Girlady Bouvier says:

    The worst part is that this beauty obssession makes us seem problems in things that are completely normal. I remember being almost paranoid with the size of my pores, my stretch marks or my lack of a tigh gap. Honestly I’m still a bit insecure about that, but not to the point of seeing myself as less of a person because of that – just like you said, when we go into the way of self-depreciation, we’re actually telling God that He didn’t work hard enough while creating us. Coming to this realization changed the way I approach make up and beauty in general. I want to enhance and compliment my natural features instead of pursuing a beauty standard that forces me to hate the way I look.

  2. RedFox3 says:

    I’ve been one of the people who was always worrying about getting something I wanted and not getting it, but then once I got what I wanted, I realized how empty it was. . .because I assumed it would complete me. But no, that’s not how it works. . .

    You see, we should let Jesus complete us, and then enjoy the stuff He gives along the way, instead of trying to enjoy Jesus, but wait for stuff to complete us.

    And that’s about it. 🙂

  3. Leah says:

    Loved this blog so much! It totally was applicable to my life. I struggle daily with comparison, mainly because I dont like they way I look sometimes. Pimples, blemishes, ughhh!! I sometimes wish I have what other girls have- clear skin, a boyfriend, manageable hair etc. But I know that there is hope for this sin, in Jesus Christ!

  4. Abby says:

    Thank you so much for this article! It really spoke to me today. I love to do plays and things like that and I recently found out that I didn’t get a part in a play that I really wanted to be in, and one of my really close friends did. I have been very upset because i have always felt “less than”. I feel like maybe I should just stop trying because I think I’m just making it worse for myself. I’ve never been called fat, but it’s always felt like people are secretly gossiping about me and talking behind my back. I’m pretty sure the reason I didn’t get a part in the play is because I’m fat. I love acting but I don’t think I want to continue trying if I’m just going to constantly be hurt and let down.

    Any help?


    • Godlovesyou:) says:

      Hi there! I’m not the one who wrote the blog, but I used to worry about what other people thought and I always felt less than. So I wanted to share some stuff I learned.

      Okay…in this unfair world, we are oftentimes treated worse or better depending on various things. It’s not cool, but that’s how people are. But Jesus isn’t like that at all! He has no favorites, or least favorites. It says in James, He is not a respecter of persons. (Aka, He sees us all the same, in need of a Savior.)

      I was recently struggling with how God sees me. I would think, there’s no way He can truly love me or want me as much as someone better, but it isn’t true. He loves us all. He died for all. You aren’t less than anyone :). One time God spoke to my heart…..about something. He thinks each of us is special, regardless of who we are. I’m not saying He agrees with what we do all the time, but He still made us special, regardless of what we do.
      The starving child in Africa who has no name is special to God.
      Adolf Hitler was special to God.
      Taylor Swift is special to God.
      The thief on the Cross was special to God.
      You and me are special to God.
      Paul…a Christian killer. .. .was special to God…and greatly used in spite of his past.

      It says. . .that God wants none to perish…

      You are NOT less than 🙂 Abby, you are loved passionately by a gracious God. And your body, no matter the size doesn’t make you less than. Maybe people are teasing you, but if they really knew the truth of Jesus, they wouldn’t be thinking like that, they’d be kinder. If you are a tad overweight, and are worried about that, PLEASE don’t starve yourself, or pick up an eating disorder, because those are very destructive. In the summer of 2016, I overate, and would diet….to keep my weight balanced, I had a lot of bad symptoms n stuff and it was sooo unhealthy. You are beautiful, regardless of your size, just be healthy, because if you are saved by Jesus, your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. And that’s pretty cool.

      So, instead of stressing about what other people are saying (if they are saying something….don’t assume, that can cause problems.) …. look to God’s view. He loves and cherishes you and thinks your special. He determines your value, and He was ripped apart on a cross and poured out His precious blood (more fine than gold), so I’d say Jesus values you sooooooo much!!! God bless you!!

      • Godlovesyou:) says:

        I meant don’t assume they are gossiping, or that you lost the audition. If you know outright that they are, pray for them, forgive them….Forgiveness is sooooo hard, but its a choice, not a feeling…:)

  5. lily says:

    hi. i try not to compare myself to anybody but i was compared to those beautiful girls by other people many times and it made me very insecure. once back in school one very egoistic girl came up to me looked right into my eyes and said “youre not that ugly”. from that moment i always thought that people might actually think im ugly. satan attacked me in such way a lot of times, only when i met my husband i realised that beauty is not just on the outside, and he loves my looks 🙂

  6. Jacklyn Toler says:

    This was so wonderful. Comparison is such a funny word. I am a voice teacher, so basically my WHOLE LIFE is about development, change, growth, and comparing with the single focus of growth. I have devoted my life to helping others feel confident in who they are and the gift God has given them. However, the days I spend the most effort encouraging others I can even begin to compare myself with the ones I’m teaching. It is so subtle! Small things creep in. My heart gets tired of helping others fight that I go home and lose my own battles. Remembering the cross, ad the fact that salvation through Christ was NEVER dependent on how pretty, put together or skinny I am. I am a sinner needing His grace. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!

    – Markel

  7. Krystel Lumacad says:

    I am also struggling the same way. As a Christian girl I know its wrong to constantly compare myself to others. But with God’s Words and God’s grace we are always reminded about the truth. About his truth. We are loved. We are beautiful and we are created the way exactly how He wanted us to be. 🙂

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