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How do I Stay Content When all of my Friends are Getting Married?

By: Bethany Beal

I was sixteen years old and hanging out with some of my best girl-friends. The four of us were full of ideas about our futures. We had big plans. Especially when it came to our future relationships.

The four of us were sure that marriage would be apart of our lives.

I clearly remember sitting at a little cafe with my besties and taking “votes” on which one of us would get married first. It wasn’t a matter of “would we get married” it was simply a matter of “when.”

Little did I know that my “when” wouldn’t happen for over 14 years from that moment.

Never in a million years did I suspect that I’d be one of the last to get married.

I’d attend dozens of weddings, wear countless bridesmaids dresses, host wedding showers, and still never experience any of that for myself.

Without some serious focus and intentionality, this season of attending weddings can become miserable. If you’re single, you know exactly what I’m talking about. When all of your friends are getting married, it can be extremely difficult to handle.

Over the years of attending weddings, God has done some amazing work in my heart.

As a result, I’ve learned to be truly content and joy-filled. I’ve learned to trust God in a way that has transformed my heart and brought me true peace during this “unmarried” season of life.

If you desire true contentment while all of your friends are getting married, this blog is for you. Here are three practical truths that have helped me during my single season and I think will be super encouraging to you as well.

1.  Learn to Trust God with Your Life Journey.

This was a huge one for me. It was probably the biggest game changer in my life. I was so good at trusting God for other people’s journeys, but not for mine. I believed that God was directing and working in the lives of my friends, but I would often question His work in my own life. In my mid-twenties, I decided to get serious about learning how to trust God. I searched the Scriptures and realized that God truly is the same yesterday, today, and for all of eternity.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

He is the same God who protected Daniel and closed the mouths of the lions (Daniel 6). He is the same God who chose Esther and used her to deliver the Jews from annihilation (Esther). He is the same God who put Joseph in the right place at the time and used him to save His people from the famine (Genesis 37- 50). He’s still that very same God today. He hasn’t changed.

We need to remember who He is and accept that He is truly trustworthy.

Learning to fully trust God has made such an impact on my life, that I wrote an entire chapter about it in my new book, Love Defined: Embracing God’s Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships. Here’s a snippet of what I share, “Trusting God with your singleness is an essential step toward finding satisfaction.You will feel most content and joy-filled the more you surrender and entrust your desires to the Lord.”

I challenge you to seriously consider what it means to fully trust God. How would trusting God change the upcoming wedding season for you? Consider memorizing Proverbs 3:5-6 and making that your wedding season anthem. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

2. Live All Out for Christ During the Season of Singleness.

When I stopped viewing my singleness as an “in-between stage,” my life drastically changed. I stopped waiting around and instead started pouring my heart and time in God’s Kingdom work. I started mentoring and discipling young women on a regular basis. I got serious about serving at my church. I got intentional about women’s ministry and co-founded GirlDefined Ministries. I loved on my family and chose to become a good and reliable friend. I dug deeper into my relationship with Christ and continued growing in my faith. The more I focused on using my life to serve Christ, the more content I became as a single person.

As I say in Love Defined,

“Instead of wasting our days waiting for the next season, let’s live with purpose and intention. Let’s take advantage of this incredibly unique season of life and live with eternity in mind.”

Living all out for Christ takes intentionality.

It doesn’t just happen. I encourage you to get serious about this area of your life. If you attend a local church, ask someone in leadership about the church’s needs. If you live near a public school, look into one of their Big Sister or Big Brother mentor programs. If you have social media, creatively looks for ways to challenge and encourage the people who follow you. The more you get your eyes off of your needs and onto the needs of others, the easier it will be to live joyfully during the wedding season.

3. Surround Yourself with Good Community.  

Good community has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Solid friends and a solid church can make all the difference in a single person’s life. Pouring into others and being poured into is so essential. God designed us to be in fellowship with Him and in relationship with others. Don’t get me wrong — I get that this is hard. It can be difficult to invest into others. But remember, hard doesn’t automatically mean bad. I encourage you to make good community a high priority in your life right now. Make an effort to get involved with a good Bible-believing church. Get involved with a small group. Invite people out to coffee. Initiate social gatherings. Host a Bible study.

Do whatever it takes to get involved in people’s lives and to get people involved in yours.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

For me personally, I have found so much encouragement through my local church and in the relationships I’ve established there. Having a solid community has helped me overcome loneliness during the wedding season.

Whether you’re nineteen, thirty-one, or forty-five, it’s possible to thrive during the wedding season.

I encourage you to consider my three points from above and ask yourself which one you can begin working on today.

If you’re already doing all three, which one can you strengthen and grow in?

If you’re serious about living a more joy-filled and contented life during the wedding season, these three practical points will jump-start you into doing just that. They’ve been game changers for my life, and I’m confident they can be game changers for you as well.



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8 Responses to How do I Stay Content When all of my Friends are Getting Married?

  1. d_lovesdogs says:

    Hi Bethany! Thanks for the blog! These are great pointers for me. I am a girl that so desires to get married someday so this blog helped me to see what I can be doing through my single years. You are amazing how you are handling singleness! I know all those pointers in the blog are something I can do.

  2. Shanae B says:

    This is a great post! I just finished reading Love Defined last week, and remember reading these things! This is an encouraging reminder for me! I don’t really have a problem with my singleness, but a number of other people in my life do. Especially since this summer I turn 30, and my sister and two cousins are getting married. It’s like people want to control me in this area. Because of my personal life situation that God has me in right now point #3 is very difficult for me to do. Especially serving at church. Which makes people view me falsely and negatively. Thanks for posting this though! 🙂

  3. Bella D. says:

    I’m already beginning to pass through this season! This was a great time to read this article!

  4. Aiza Samaniego says:

    A lot of AMEN to this post. I believe great commitment to God plus the presence of great company matter in the season of singleness. No matter how a lot of people push the pressure to me, they just become tired of it because I don’t get affected, merely because I stand firm of the promise of God that there is a definite time for me to enter the marriage stage, I just have to wait and do His plans for me. Thank you for your encouraging videos. I love watching them.

  5. Liz says:

    I just watched the video that Kristen Clark shared on questions to ask for getting to know a guy. Good book I recommend to each girl that wants to please God & have a healthy Godly relationship that may or may not lead to marriage. I haven’t finished reading their amazing book, but a question I asked a guy was, ‘Would you please share your testimony with me?’ Sadly the sweet guy was nervous to share it with me. Sadly I heard recently that he was dating & has seen another girl while messaging me without my knowledge. He said things that were hurtful that I’m sure he doesn’t know it hurt, but I’ve forgiven him & he called it off. God has someone else for me. *what are boundaries?

  6. Grace Obe says:

    I’m working on intentionally living for Christ and seeking my community. Having just moved to a new state, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by socializing and constantly trying to make new connections. I trust God will renew my strength and purpose every morning, guiding me to the people who need me, and whom I need to connect with, the most.

    • Ruth Jackson says:

      I totally get it! I moved to a new state almost two years ago and still sometimes feel overwhelmed with trying to make connections — meaningful connections. I want real friends so badly that sometimes I pursue the wrong ones and wind up heartbroken. But every morning, I try to remember to thank God for the friends I have and help me to be patient. This summer, I’ve been filling up my weekends with activities with current friends and meetups with potentially new friends. Plus, I know when I am bored — I get myself into trouble ie binge watch NCIS or buy things I don’t need.

  7. Sarah says:

    Thank you, Bethany. So very true. God loves us all. So many people do not have a relationship with God & very few attend church. It is so sad.

    If a guy is seeing a gal & contacting you. What is the best solution for a situation like that. I didn’t know a guy was dating & had seen another gal & while contacting her he contacts me. It seems like cheating. He recently falsely accused me of something & said he could no longer contact me or be a friend. I was told he might be seeing someone, but once I was told I didn’t contact him. He claims to be saved, but I’m not sure. Have I made the right move by Not responding to his message that he is accusing me of is false?

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