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Why Romance, Modesty, and Femininity Point to the Gospel

By: Kristen Clark

“Instead of wasting time on topics like romance, modesty, and womanhood…why don’t you keep the focus on the gospel? Your Christian blog should primarily be about how to love Jesus more.”

Over the years, we’ve received several emails and DM’s from Christian girls who have expressed their concern to us at GirlDefined Ministries, asking why we waste time writing about “secondary” issues rather than keeping the focus exclusively on the gospel. They’ve expressed disappointment that we take time to write about “minor” issues like romance, dating, modesty, and femininity.

Let’s talk about this.

Why do we take time to write about topics like love, romance, modesty, and femininity?

I mean, as Christian girls, shouldn’t we focus on loving Jesus and loving others? Yes and absolutely. Loving Jesus and loving others are the greatest commandments (Matthew 22:36-40). This should be the engine that drives everything else in our lives. However, loving Jesus and loving others isn’t just a passionate feeling — it’s an action. True love for God should result in a heart change that ultimate leads to a life change. People don’t know we’re Christians by our inner desires…they know we’re Christians by the Fruit of our life (John 15, Romans 12:9-21). 

As followers of Jesus, we reflect the gospel and show our love for Christ through our heart-transformed actions. 

The Bible refers to these “actions” as good works (Matthew 5:16).

Our actions, words, and choices should reflect the image of the One we’re called to bear. And since we are image bearers in all things, these “secondary” issues matter. In fact, we would argue that issues like romance, love, modesty, and femininity only matter because of the gospel.

Because of Christ and His work on the cross, we are made new. We have been given a new identity. As His children, we are called to honor and glorify Him in every aspect of our lives. Titus 3 talks about how our good works as believers should be an overflow of our Salvation. As Christian women, we should strive after good works in every area of our lives. Not to earn our Salvation, but to live out the impact of our Salvation. 

And that is exactly why we write on these sort of topics. In fact, our book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity, addresses a lot of these topics as well. The way we navigate beauty issues, interact with guys, view success, treat our family, and live our lives as females will directly impact our testimony for the gospel.

Let’s take a quick look at each area.

True Love and the Gospel. 

Hollywood’s version of true love is often rooted in strong feelings; but God’s definition is rooted in genuine actions (John 13:35). Biblical love doesn’t hinge on what someone else does or doesn’t do for you— it’s based solely on your own personal choice to give love.

No person in all of history demonstrated this type of love better than Jesus himself. Romans 5:8 reveals this powerful love when it says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God’s recipe for true love is rooted in selfless action and undeserving grace. Biblical love has the power to change lives, restore relationships, and draw you closer to your family and friends.

Putting others above ourselves and choosing to show true love to them is exactly what Christ demonstrated through His death on the cross. If we take God’s version of love into our romantic relationships, family, friendships, and marriage, we will display the gospel in a profoundly impactful way. Read more about this in our blog post titled, True Love: What it is and What it isn’t

Modesty and the Gospel. 

Here’s a crazy thought: clothes did not exist before sin entered our world. There was no shame and no reason to cover our nakedness. But from the time God killed the animal in the garden and covered Adam and Eve (Genesis 3), clothing became a symbol and foreshadow of our need to be covered by Christ’s righteousness. Just like Adam and Eve needed God to cover their shame, we need Christ to cover ours. That is why Christ had to shed His blood on the cross — to clothe us in His righteousness and save us from our sins.

Clothing is so much more than “just being modest.” Clothes are a powerful picture of the gospel. Our clothing is a constant reminder of our need for Christ. They’re a reminder of what Christ did for us and the price that He paid for our sin. They remind us that a day is coming when Christ will return again and make all things new. 

When we begin to view clothing from that lens, covering our nakedness makes so much more sense. Wearing clothes started back in Genesis and should continue until we are ultimately perfected in Heaven with God. Although the Bible doesn’t give us a black and white standard for modesty, we should all care about this area of our lives because God does.

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” 1 Timothy 2:9-10). To read more about clothing, check out, The Naked Truth About Why We Wear Clothes.

Femininity and the Gospel. 

In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve and intentionally made them to be male and female (Genesis 1 & 2). Being a female today has a ton of significance because of that original act of God. God purposely, intentionally, and with forethought invented the woman – you – to be totally different from the man.

In order to give you and me a small glimpse of God’s divine nature, He carefully crafted the human race to be a reflection of His personal image (Genesis 1:26). He designed the man and the woman to display the glory of God in ways that are unique to each gender.

He designed us as equally valuable humans with two different roles and purposes in this world. We are called to glorify God by serving Him in ways distinctly designed for our female gender. When we embrace and live out biblical femininity, we glorify God and put Him on display. Read more about this in our blog post titled, Choosing Feminine Faith in a Feminist World.

When we dig beneath the surface, we quickly see that topics like love, romance, modesty, and femininity are so much more than “back-burner” issues. 

God cares about every area of our lives and calls us to glorify Him in how we navigate each area. Embracing a Biblical understanding of love, romance, modesty, and femininity isn’t as much about us as it is about us living a redeemed life that reflects the God who saved us. 

God cares about our hearts and our actions. That’s why James 2:14 & 26 says, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”

The way we live our life in small and big areas matters. And that is exactly why we tackle “secondary” issues here at Girl Defined. And that is also why we are so excited for you to get your hands on our book, Girl Defined (if you haven’t already). The way we live our lives as Christian women is a daily opportunity to put the gospel of Jesus on display. 

I’d love to hear from you below. 

  • How has the gospel impacted your own life in areas like love, romance, modesty, and femininity?

PS You only have a few weeks left to join us for the 2020 Girl Defined Online Conference! Tickets are only $39 and you’ll get lifetime access to everything! Get your ticket now and join us on July 31 – August 1, 2020. 

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