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How to Evaluate a Guy’s Character from a Biblical Perspective

By: Kristen Clark

When I was a single woman, I remember people telling me things like, “be sure to marry a man of godly character!” Or, “make sure you know his true heart.” Or, “don’t settle for anything but a genuinely Christ-focused man.”

Okay. I appreciate the advice…and I agree. These are all good things that I want in a future husband.

But how in the world am I supposed to know what a man of character actually looks like (in real life)? How do I discern between a really nice guy, and a guy with genuine godly character? And in all seriousness, how do I actually measure a guy’s character in the first place? It’s not like a physical piece of wood that you can wrap a tape measure around…so how in the world does this work?

If you’ve ever heard similar comments and had questions like mine, you’re not alone.

Marrying a man of godly character sounds great, but unless we know how to practically evaluate his character, we won’t evaluate it correctly.

We won’t measure it with the right tools.

Just because he goes to church, joins a Bible study, and is funny doesn’t mean he has godly character. Just because you get along with him and love spending time with him doesn’t mean he’s a great option for marriage.

Instead, you need to be asking questions like, “what kind of character does this guy have?” “Where is his heart in regard to what God’s Word teaches?” “Does he genuinely love the Lord, and is this evident in his actions?”

In this post, I want to show you a simple, biblical, practical, and measurable way to evaluate a guy’s character.

This doesn’t have to be a mystery any longer. By using this list, you can quickly discover how Christ-centered a guy is or isn’t. You don’t have to wonder if he’s a godly man…you can actually figure it out.

So let’s dive in.

By using a series of biblically based questions, you can quickly discern what kind of character any guy has. This list isn’t exhaustive, but it’s a great starting place. 

1. What does he believe about the Bible?

This question is foundational and will reveal a lot about this guy. Does he uphold the Bible as God’s true and inherent Word (2 Timothy 3:17)? Does he build his worldview and beliefs on the truths revealed in Scripture (Psalm 19)? Does he look to God’s word as the ultimate authority in his life? Does he believe the Bible is true and applicable for his life today?

2. How do his actions and words align with each of the following areas (this is key)…

SALVATION (Rom. 10:9): Is this guy a genuine believer of Jesus Christ? Does he understand the gospel message (Jesus died on the cross for his sins, was raised to life again, and the only way to heaven is through belief in Him)? Does his life display the marks of a true Christian (Romans 12:9-21)?

CHURCH (Eph. 4:16): Does he value church and see the importance of being plugged into a local Body? Does he submit himself to the godly leadership of a biblical church? Does he look for ways to get involved and serve his brothers and sisters in Christ within the Body?  

FAMILY (Eph. 6:1-3): Does he honor his parents in the way he speaks to them or the way he speaks about them? Does he respect the leadership God has placed over him through his parents, even when he doesn’t agree? How does he treat his siblings?

AUTHORITY (Hebrews 13:17, Rom. 13:1): Whether it’s his parents, pastor, boss, or teachers — how does he respond to authority? Is he respectful towards those people or rebellious?

INSTRUCTION (Prov. 19:20): How does he respond to correction and instruction in his life? Does he have a humble, teachable spirit, or more of a prideful arrogant heart? Does he seek outside wisdom and counsel, or try to figure everything out on his own?

WORK (Prov. 21:5, Col. 3:32): What kind of work ethic does this guy have? Is he hardworking or lazy? Does he take the initiative with his job (or school work) and get things done? And in his work, what is his driving motivation for why he works? Is it for God’s glory, or for his own glory?  

MARRIAGE (Eph. 5:25-33): What does he believe about marriage? Does he understand the purpose in God’s design for marriage to be between a man and a woman? Does he value his God given role as a male, and yours as a female? Does he believe marriage is a serious and lifelong covenant?

SEXUAL PURITY (1 Thess. 4:3-5): The way a guy handles sexual purity says a lot about his character and desire to honor the Lord. Does he value sexual purity and fight for it in his private life? Does he lead your relationship in the way of purity, or is he more prone to compromise and sexual sin?

IDENTITY (2 Cor. 5:17): Where does he find his identity? Is it in his athletic abilities, his education, status, his job, his passions, or something similar? Or, is it clear that his identity is firmly rooted in his relationship with Christ and his purpose as a Christian?

SIN (1 John 1:8-10): How serious does he take the sin in his life? Does he hate sin, or excuse it? Does he confess his sin on his own, or is he usually caught/confronted about his sin? Is he genuinely repentant with a humble heart, or is he simply upset over being caught?

This list is a great starting place for genuinely evaluating someone’s character according to God’s word.

So, how did your guy’s character measure up against it? Be honest now. According to God’s word, does he have godly character or ungodly character? Based on this truth, is he a guy that would be wise or foolish to get to know?

I’m not saying he has to be perfect (none of us are even close); but is he intentionally striving after the things above? Is he actively pursuing God and growing as a Christian? That’s the goal for all of us.

Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not, I pray this character test is helpful to you. I encourage you to use this right now and in the future whenever a guy comes into your life.

Put his character to the test.

Don’t settle for a guy who isn’t interested in honoring God with his life.

I’d love to hear from you below.

  • What did you think about the character test? What other biblical topics would you add to it? 
  • How does your own character measure up against this test?

Photo Credit 

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  • Thank you so much for this list! I’ve been looking for something solid like this recently. Very good. Thank you!

  • Andrea Arias

    As I was reading through all of this, the thought that kept coming into my head was if I was striving to grow in character the same way? Is my foundation in God firm and rooted in His word? I’ve been trying to work on this-I’m good at expecting more from others than myself and I realized I need to grow more in these areas before I ask another person to grow in them. Because if as women we are striving to grow in Christlike character and conviction, then -like you said- we know not to settle for less. Thank you so much for reminding me of this and putting it back on my radar as a priority!
    May God bless you!

    -Andrea

  • white canary

    HOLY COW this was so helpful! I have been wondering about this for a while! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I am not in a relationship currently, but I do tend to look at guys and wonder what our relationship could look like. This was so on-the-spot-helpful!

  • The list is a good start, but I really think it misses some of the most important points:
    1. How does he treat others, especially those who are weaker, disadvantaged, etc. Does he respect women as both women and capable human beings? Does he *see* and respect homeless people, or does he look right through them, or snarl, “Get a job!” (Matt. 25:34-47)
    2. How does he judge others – i.e., does he say, “that person is a sinner,” or does he say, “there but for the grace of God go I”? (Matt. 7:1-5; Rom. 2:1-3)
    3. Does he stand up for others who are treated unfairly? When someone does him wrong, and then repents, does he forgive them? (Micah 6:8)
    4. Does he just talk about his faith, or does he actually *demonstrate* his faith, not only in his own conduct, but in how he treats others? (James 2:18)
    5. How does he measure against Mark 12:30-31?

    To me, these are at least as important as those listed above. And, fortunately, they are relatively transparent. It’s hard to hide how you treat the “least of them” – including the homeless, LGBT folks, single moms, etc., etc.

    • Alia

      Those are also good tips.

      However, is quite hard to really know someone. My husband used to present all those futures described by you and Kriten over the 3 years we spent in courtiship. I start praying for our relashionship even before he ask me to be in a relationship and he always saying that he was praying too. I needed to the important decision of leaving my family, my country and my life to marry him and live in his country. However, one thing he hide very well was his true character and his secret sexual struggles. We have been married for 2 months and a half and it has been a nightmare. I live like a doormat and choose words like if I am walking over eggs. I am humilated for don’t have a job and for so many things. If it was not enough he struggles with sexual sin. He lust over women in the streets in front of me. He doen’t like me or my appearance and he said to me how there was the woman in his workplace that was very atractive and he couldn’t take her out of his mind. There is so much pain and bitterness in my heart at the moment. I ask God for strength and love to love and respect my husband, dispite he despises me. It’s so hard. I praise the Lord for the Christian family who is helping me and couseling both of us, but the path is not easy.

  • Miriam Lagomarsino

    Okay I don’t want to sound like I’m making this guy up to be someone he’s not, but the guy I’m interested in really is a godly man. He’s striving for these things and it make my heart very happy, and I have been learning alot from him. But, I don’t know if that still means I should pursue him, how do I continue to pursue him?

    • Allie

      Let him pursue you! That’s what God intended 🙂

      • Miriam Lagomarsino

        Its funny, I just read this and over the past month God has really changed my heart to know that that’s what he intended and he opened me up to be open to the fact of letting this friend pursue me. I’m grateful for your comment and sorry for getting back late. Thank you though!

  • Sara

    Wow, what a great list! Sometimes we as christians (and probably especially girls) can be so focused on the wrong things, so we miss out on the real and important stuff!! Thank you for speaking more truth into what we should be focused on, and not just ‘what feels good’ or ‘what looks good’.

  • Joshua Samuel

    Hi guys , thanks a lot for sharing such articles and it’s a blessing . But for me I haven’t dated a girl and for me it was like one sided love from the beginning . Whether Christian Girls don’t bother about the external look ( I mean the hair ) and whether they would love to date a guy who is economically strong even though he is a believer ?

  • RESHMA

    wow this is really amazing….. i am surely gonna try this….hank you sooo much sisters…GOD bless you!!

  • Jude

    If god is guiding you and has this all planned out already, why do you need all these steps? It’s suspicious how low down hypocrisy is on the list of sins.

    • Lilly

      Jude, God doesn’t always tell us what to do for every step of out lives. He gave us his word to guide us, and Kristen is simply taking biblical ideas from His word, and making them easy to understand. God wants us, as Christians, to learn discernment, to learn how to identify the differences between Godliness and sinfulness, and learn how to follow God’s plan. This blog helps teach this to us. Thank you soo much for this blog Kristen, soo helpful!

  • Leah

    Like so many other girls, I really loved this article. There is a guy in my life, and many years ago I know God put on my heart that I was going to marry him. Now he’s kind of strayed from Jesus and is more focused on his work, and comes to church occasionally. We’re just friends at the moment, and I’m currently waiting on Jesus for his guidance.

  • Hayley

    Yes, good points. But … isn’t it true that all guys struggle with sexual feelings that aren’t really sins? Being guys, they deal with things a lot differently than us girls. I was in a relationship were mistakes were made, and I feel like a lot of Christian-relationship-advice is more into shaming and criticizing than trying to help Christians move on. I’m not saying this post is – it’s one of the better things I’ve read, and I appreciated the way in which this specifically was put.
    However, I just struggle on that point of purity. Just because a mistake was made (not necessarily “all the way” but I believe that it’s not really here nor there – it was wrong no matter what), does that mean people should call it quits? We’re all sinful, and all struggle with temptations, no one’s perfect 🙂


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