conference conference


How to Mentor and Disciple Another Girl

By: Bethany Beal

I sat in the conference session with my eyes wide open. It was one of those moments where every word spoken pierced straight into my heart. As the speaker shared about his passion for mentorship and discipleship, I knew my life would never be the same.

After that conference, my life took a drastic turn for the better.

I went from having head knowledge about the importance of discipleship to having a heart and passion for it. I was turning into a girl who deeply desired to reach out and minister to the young women in my sphere of influence. It was like I was beginning to see with new eyes.

Until this turning point, I had never been truly intentional about one-on-one mentorship.

The idea had simply never traveled from my brain into my heart and out into action. I knew discipleship was good, but I hadn’t caught the vision for it. In response to that conference, I decided to do something crazy: I asked my two youngest sisters if I could mentor them.

With looks of excitement, they willingly agreed.

That was two years ago. My only regret? I wish I started doing this sooner. I look back and wonder what I was thinking. I had younger sisters right beneath my nose, and the idea to mentor them never occurred to me. Not even once. I just figured, “I’m a good sister and a good example. They’ll figure this life thing out.”

I now realize that mentorship is so much more than being a good sister.

– It’s about taking the time to personally and intentionally pour into the young women around me.

– It’s about setting aside time each week to talk about life and the Bible.

– It’s about intentional accountability.

– It’s a focused time for me to reach out and pull another Christian girl along in her relationship with God.

Instead of waiting until we think we’ve “arrived,” let’s choose to make an impact for eternity right now.

Watching my sisters grow in their relationship with Christ and mature as young women has been so inspiring. It’s been amazing to watch God use my small efforts to impact my sisters lives so profoundly. I’m not a superhero mentor. I’m sure not a super Christian. I’m not even a qualified counselor or teacher. I’m just a girl who saw the need for mentorship and decided to take action.

I’m confident that each and every one of you could do the same.

Too often we think that discipleship and mentorship is only for “older, more mature women.” That idea simply isn’t true. Older women definitely have tons to offer us, but we as younger women have tons to offer as well.

Instead of waiting until we think we’ve “arrived,” let’s choose to make an impact for eternity right now, right where God has us. Let’s create a sisterhood of girls mentoring girls, a community of young women willingly and intentionally pouring out into the young women around us with enthusiasm.

Imagine the impact that we could have! Imagine if each one of us reached out to one girl and began mentoring her. Then imagine if that girl reached out and began mentoring someone, too. The ripple effect would be immeasurable.

Here are five myths about mentorship it’s time to debunk.

Myth: Perfect mentors are perfect people.
Truth: We often think that we have to be “perfect” to minister.

That simply isn’t true. Just think of Jesus’ disciples. They were far from perfect, and Jesus used them in mighty ways. We don’t need to be perfect to reach out and mentor; we just need to be willing. We need to have a desire to honor God and a willingness to pull someone along the journey with us.

Myth: Mentors are always “older women.”
Truth: There’s no age requirement.

I used to think that I couldn’t really be used by God until I was a certain age. I thought the real work was reserved for the oldest and wisest of us all. Then I realized that God can and does use young people to impact His kingdom. My younger sister, Suzanna, started mentoring another girl when she was only twelve years old. She had a little friend that she would “babysit” during a weekly Bible study my mom hosted at our house. Instead of just playing games, my younger sister decided to intentionally talk about Jesus with this little girl. They memorized verses, read through a devotional, and grew in their understanding of who God is. The next time you think you’re too young to have an impact, remember my little sister.

Myth: I need to go to Bible college to mentor.
Truth: You have the resources you need to mentor.

We don’t need to have the highest level of biblical education and knowledge to make an impact. We have the Word of God that is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword. (You can find that promise in Hebrews 4:12). If you don’t know what to do or you feel ill-equipped, just read through a book of the Bible and discuss it as you go. You don’t have to be a Bible superhero to read God’s Word. You just have to open it and start reading. (Consider reading either Girl Defined or Love Defined. Each of those books has a built-in study with questions to ask and discuss).

Myth: I need a five-year plan.
Truth: No elaborate planning is required.

Throughout my years of mentoring, I’ve realized that it can be as formal or as informal as I want. Sometimes I just read a book with a girl. I don’t have a big five-year plan or goal in mind. I’m just reading and studying with her. There are other girls, like my sisters, that I plan to mentor for as long as I can. But even then I don’t have an elaborate long-term plan. I just know that I want to reach out and pour into their lives for as long as time allows.

Myth: I need to wait for a girl to ask me.
Truth: You don’t have to wait for someone to ask.

This is by far the biggest thing I’ve learned about mentorship over the years. I used to think that young women would have to approach me and ask me to mentor them. That was a bad plan. Often young girls are too scared and intimidated to ask an older girl to mentor them. Instead of waiting for them to come to me, I go to them. I pray, look around, pray some more, and then go ask. I’m encouraging you to do the same. Don’t wait for the girls to come to you; you take the first step and go to them.

I would love to hear your thoughts on mentorship.

  • Have you ever been mentored?
  • What kind of impact has mentorship made in your life?
  • What is keeping you from reaching out and mentoring a young woman around you?


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23 Responses to How to Mentor and Disciple Another Girl

  1. TLC says:

    Hey Bethany! I love this blog post! I have a question for you though… what’s you thoughts on a young woman mentoring/encouraging a young woman who’s like 2 months older then her? Thank you again for the post!❤❤

  2. Ariel says:

    Hey Bethany! Thank you so much for this! I recently started mentoring a girl that was a camper of mine from a Christian camp that I counseled at. The thing is, I live in Michigan and she lives in Colorado. So we have to face time every week. My question is are there any resources that I could dig into or something, cuz I really have no idea what I’m doing. The only thing I’ve been able to do with her is pretty much ask how she is spiritually and constantly encourage her to get involved in a church near her. But is there a good Bible study you could recommend for me to do with her?
    Sorry this is so long, but thank you again for the post it was really encouraging. 🙂

  3. Emmy says:

    Thanks for the encouragement to reach out to the younger girls in my life 🙂

    Your ministry prompted me to ask an older girl to mentor me a while back, and we’ve been meeting to study the Bible and encourage one another for quite a few months now 🙂 I’m 18 and she’s 21, so it’s not a huge age difference and we’re almost peers, but she definitely has more wisdom and life experience and is a wonderful humble, godly example.

    I’ve wanted to mentor a younger girl for a while now, and this post is another nudge to do it, but what’s holding me back is my fear of coming across as haughty, like “I’m so much more mature and godly than you, let me help you.” Obviously I would never say that, but I don’t know how it would come across to a 13 or 14 year old. I’m thinking instead of saying “I want to be your mentor,” I could just offer to start meeting with her on a regular basis to study the Bible and support and encourage her in her walk with Jesus. How does that sound? Not that I would never mention the word mentor, but I don’t want to seem pretentious.

    • Yes. Great idea. You don’t have to use the “mentor.” You can just invite to do a book or Bible study with you!

      • Emmy says:

        Thanks for the reply, Bethany 🙂 I’m planning to go for it, though I’m not sure when I’ll ask her. I could ask her through chat, but I’d rather ask her in person. The tricky thing is that I don’t usually get to talk with her one-on-one and I don’t want to make it a show… but I’ll be praying for the right opportunity.

    • Maddy K says:

      Hey Emmy! I just wanted to say go for it! I’m 14, and I would absolutely love it if an older girl came up to me and asked to mentor/meet with me!

  4. Shanae B says:

    This is a great post! I especially like the myth busting part! I had a mentor during my middle school years of which I’m thankful for! Then she married moved away and my family church hopped during my high school years so I lost that. The churchs I’ve gone to throughout my twenties had groups or something that you would have to sign up for or initiate, so I’ve had very little of this for myself since high school. It’s more important now than ever that we start investing spiritually in girls lives! The might get little or none at home. Then they can be discouraged at school, from peers, social media, other kinds of media, and the culture. Thanks for sharing this!

  5. Erika says:

    Thank you for this post! I’ve never had a mentor, but my parents taught me a lot when I was younger. Now I recently started meeting with my little sister approximately once every two weeks to study the bible and talk. I wasn’t sure if that counts as mentoring but now I think it does. Whenn she’s older I’d like to read Girl Defined and Love Defined with her, but at the moment I think those aren’t quite her kind of topics yet. 🙂

  6. Grace says:

    Thank you so much for this post! I recently began mentoring another younger sister in Christ who attends the youth group I help out with. I have honestly felt very unqualified at times, thinking that I was not experienced or knowledgeable enough to be a mentor to her, and I was feeling discouraged. I was literally just praying about this when I saw this article!

  7. Bella D. says:

    Oh, thank you for writing this post! I have four younger sisters plus many, many younger friends that I have been clueless about going out and mentoring. Thank you for giving me vision to look past the many doubts I’ve had!

  8. Snakwe Adriel Dlamini says:

    Wow this has been eye opening. However I’m quite nervous on how to go about the whole mentoring thing. I have two younger sisters and I feel like I’m not good enough for mentoring them.

  9. brianna porras says:

    I really needed this! I have been having doubts about starting my mentor ship on my college campus through Chi Alpha since it felt like a lot of work to be a leader but this made me feel like it will be worth it.

  10. Ashley D says:

    Hi Kristen and Bethany!!
    I’ve been thinking and praying about mentoring a girl younger than me for a little while now. Every time I think of mentorship, she comes to mind, but I feel hesitant to ask and I’m not sure why. I am a little nervous for her to answer, but before I ask I want to make sure this is God’s will! Can you help me understand how to be sure of that? What is something you would recommend doing? I mean I know prayer, of course, I just really want this to be a fruitful relationship! Thanks!

  11. Anna Laura says:

    Thank you so much! I have two younger sisters and with one of them I don’t really have a good of relationship that I really want to change. I have been thinking about mentoring but I had a feeling of not being good enough. So thank you for writing this post! Because of it I’m going to ask my sister if she would like mentoring. I’m really looking forward to quality time with my sister!

    • Brooklyn says:

      Hey Anna Laura!
      I know you made this comment a month ago, but I want to encourage you. It is totally possible to create a good relationship with your younger sisters! Let me tell you a little bit of my story.
      I have three younger sisters. Back when I was 13 and the one next up was 9, we didn’t have that great of a relationship. I figured that we were sisters for eternity, so we might as well get along. At the time, I did not like her. But I worked at our relationship. I took the initiative. I sucked up my embarrassment of my little sister and talked with her in public. We are now the best of friends, and I am so glad I took that initiative. I am working on doing more of the same with my younger two sisters. This post has encouraged me to not only be a friend, but a mentor. I need to reach out and ask them what God is teaching them, what I can pray for them about, etc.

      Lets work on being a mentor to our sisters. We can do this.

  12. Emily Sadler says:

    I really enjoyed this article. Had had a mentor my last two years in high school and a little bit of college. I did a mentorship with a younger woman in a more structured setting, but this is inspiring for me to keep the lines of communication open with this person. Thank you for sharing!

  13. Caroline Elstrom says:

    I’ve been looking for ways to mentor some of the younger girls that I know. I have sisters, age 12 and 7. The 7-year-old is probably too young for anything too deep, but she could still benefit from some counsel. The 12-year-old is the one that I would most like to work with, but I don’t know how to approach her about it or if she’d be open to it. I would also love to mentor some of the younger girls in my church, especially middle school/junior high age girls, because I know how easy it is to feel lost at that age but I don’t know them that well and wouldn’t know how to approach them about it.

  14. Stephanie S. says:

    How to indoctrinate people, nice! Question, does this work for Satanism as well? Really curious because I have a girl in my class who seems like she would be really interested in the teachings of our father the Antichrist, and like this says I shouldn’t wait for her to approach me on the subject. She might just be shy, or she might not really appreciate having my beliefs shoved down her throat. No matter! With the right push, I can show her the way of the Satanic Temple and free her of any of those silly doubts she may have that He is the way, whether she likes it or not. Thanks Girl Defined! Now I can truly be a proper disciple of Satan, and spread his word ever further!

    • TheCrimsonFukr says:

      A true madlad

    • Lygeia says:

      …. I was going to say the same, no kidding. I´m happy there is more people like me. I´ll tell you more: You can totally mindwipe her until she thinks everything you say it´s OK, depriving her of any and all free will.

      Happy brainwashing, and hail Satan!

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