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Why I’m Not Looking for JUST a Husband

By: Bethany Beal

I am going to do something that I’ve never done in a blog post before. I’m going to open up my journal and share some completely personal things that I wrote down this past week.

Here’s the deal, last week I was sitting on my bed praying for different members in my family, for the GirlDefined Ministry and then, for my future husband.

As I was praying for my future husband, my mind started working and I began truly thinking about what I was praying for. I wondered…am I praying for JUST a husband or am I praying for something more? Do I JUST want to get married and have a man in my life to call “honey” or do I want something bigger than that? Is my end goal to JUST get a guy?

Here is what I wrote in my journal right after I finished praying: 

“My life is not at all what I would have imagined, but, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I would not have guessed that I would be twenty-six and single, running a blog for young women, trying to publish a book, mentoring young women, directing AWANA and still working in my dad’s business. I,100%, thought I would be married and doing…who knows what. 

I trust that God must have a plan for my life beyond what I could have ever hoped or dreamed of. If I’m not married, I trust that God has a purpose SO big for me right now! God is huge and He could provide a husband if He wanted to. God, you are SO big. You can do far more above all that I could ever ask or think.

You parted the Red Sea, made Joseph of Egypt second in command, healed people and turned water into wine. I trust that you can, and will, bring me a husband if it’s Your will. 

I do desire a godly husband, not JUST a husband. 

When people ask me if I want to get married, I say, ‘absolutely!’ But not just for the sake of having a husband. I want to join forces and serve God in ways I couldn’t serve Him as a single. My goal is always the same, serve God.” 

I realized I wasn’t looking for JUST a husband. 

That night I realized that I want so much more than “JUST a husband.” I want a godly husband. A husband who has a vision to serve the Lord and make an eternal impact with his life. I realized that my desires over the past couple of years have totally shifted. I went from just wanting a guy in my life, to desiring to marry a godly man who I can serve the Lord alongside of.

The truth is *I never thought I would say this* I would rather remain single and serve God to the fullest, over marrying a “less-than-passionate-about-God-guy” just to get married.

Why you shouldn’t look for JUST a husband. 

I want to challenge you to evaluate your desires and ask yourself what your dreams of the future are. Do you desire to get married JUST because you want a husband? Do you JUST want a guy in your life? Do you JUST want a boyfriend?

When I was younger, I used to think that relationships and marriage would JUST work out even if the couple wasn’t passionate about God, didn’t consistently go to church or have solid spiritual convictions. I’ve lived long enough now to realize that relationships don’t just work out. I’ve seen it on both sides. Great girls who “settled” for not-so-great-guys and it didn’t just work out. I’ve seen guys marry self-absorbed girls and the relationship sadly didn’t last.

Don’t marry a guy JUST because you want a husband. It’s not worth it. The fun and excitement and romance will soon die down, real life will kick in and you will wake up next to a man who’s biggest goal in life is his own happiness. God will be way down on his list and you’ll have wished you had waited.

Desire a godly man. 

I hope that you will start praying over the desires of your heart and ask God to help you desire a godly man. Pray that God will help you become the type of woman that a godly guy would want to marry.

I recorded a video on the topic of “Praying for Your Future Husband” and I highly recommend watching it. I list some of the qualities that I’m praying for and I think it will help you gain a vision for the type of man you should desire. I also recommend reading my blog “What Your Dream Guy Wants in a Girl.” It will help you figure out what you need to work on so that a godly man will want to marry a girl like you.

Heart Check. 

  1. Are you looking for JUST a husband or are you looking for a godly man?
  2. What character qualities should a godly guy have?
  3. What character qualities should a godly girl have?
  4. Will you pray and ask God to change the desires of your heart towards wanting a godly man and not JUST a husband?

 Photo credit: | JohnONolan

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