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Is Being a Woman about More than Getting Married and Having Babies?

By: Bethany Beal

If being a woman is entirely about getting married and having babies, then Kristen and I are failing miserably.

I don’t have a husband, which means I don’t have children, and Kristen has a husband but God hasn’t given her children yet. As most of you know I would love to get married and Kristen would love to have children.

Despite our deep desires and open hearts toward those roles (being a wife and mother) God has chosen not to fulfill all of those desires in either of our lives.

Discovering True Womanhood

As a younger girl, I believed that the ultimate fulfillment and climax of my life would come from being a wife and a mom.

I would spend hours upon hours dreaming of my future and was sure God had created me first and foremost to fulfill those specific roles.

As I grew older I slowly (very slowly) discovered that although marriage and motherhood are extremely (emphasis on extremely) valuable roles, they are not the ultimate purpose for my womanhood.

They are not the ultimate purpose for your womanhood.

Important Note: This blog post isn’t intended to contradict or devalue anything we’ve written in the past about the importance of marriage. This blog post is simply to help make sure that our priorities are in the right order.

Your Ultimate Purpose

Your ultimate purpose as a woman is the same as every other human being on the planet. Male or female, black or white, tall or short, introvert or extroverted, it doesn’t matter.

We, as human beings, share a foundational purpose (and it doesn’t have to do with being married).

You were created first and foremost to live passionately for these 4 things:

1. For God’s Glory

When God created the very first humans He gave them the ability to sing, talk, dance, laugh, create, work and do so much more. Everything about their lives was intended to bring God perfect glory. Despite how far we’ve come from those perfect days in the Garden, our purpose remains the same. We were created for God’s glory.

“…everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made” (Isaiah 43:7)

This first point should be the foundation of everything you do. Don’t believe the lie that you were made for you. You were not made for your glory, you were made for God’s glory.

2. To Declare His Praises

“My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name forever and ever” (Psalm 145:21).

“My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day” (Psalm 71:8)

“Praise the LORD, my soul. LORD my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty” (Psalm 104:1)

You get the idea. We were made to declare God’s praises. There are dozens and dozens of verses that encourage this “praising God” lifestyle. Declaring God’s praises should be totally intertwined with your existence. The more your mouth is filled with praises for God, the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be.

3. To Become like Christ

If I play darts I have to focus intently on the bullseye in order to aim my dart in the right direction. In the same way, we have to focus on Christ in order to aim our life in the right direction. Becoming like Christ should be the bullseye for life.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

Your life isn’t ultimately about looking cool, being popular, making stacks of money, getting the right job, or having a perfect family. Your life is about becoming like Christ and reflecting Him through every choice you make.

4. To Make Disciples

We were created to tell others about Jesus and help others become more like Him. Your life should be constantly focused on creating Christ followers.

Single or married, every woman is capable of doing this. No excuses. In fact, it’s a command so this point shouldn’t even be optional.

“And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age’” (Matthew 28:16).

A Bigger Purpose

I’m so grateful that God has given us as women such clarity for our lives. We were made for Him. It’s soooo simple, yet so complicated.

Our true purpose never changes. In fact, this topic reminds me of that quote I pulled from my journal and shared with you all in a previous blog.

“When people ask me if I want to get married, I say, ‘absolutely!’ But not just for the sake of having a husband. I want to join forces and serve God in ways I couldn’t serve Him as a single. My goal in life (whether married or single) is always the same, serve God.” –Bethany’s Journal

Thankfully God doesn’t leave us empty handed on our true and ultimate purpose. Those four points I shared are only the start. Those points are the roots of your tree and everything else should grow and branch out from there.

Keep in mind, since God did create men and women to be different, we need to pursue His best plan for us as women. If you are interested in studying the practical side of your womanhood, I would encourage you to check out passages like Titus 2, Proverbs 31, as well as the book of Esther.

If you really want to gain a deeper and more thorough understanding of your womanhood, check out Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity. That book is filled with everything you need to know to begin building a solid foundation for your womanhood.

Where is Your Heart?

I want to challenge you to evaluate your heart and ask yourself if those four points reflect your heart. Do you desire God’s glory above all else? Do you praise Him every day? Do strive hard to become like Christ? Do seek out people to invest in and help them become like Christ?

Why don’t you just pick one of the four to start with.

This week take time every day to live out the point you picked. If it’s “declare His praises” take time every day to praise God in private and in public.

I’d love to hear which point you picked and why. Feel free to share your thoughts with me in the comments section below.


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25 Responses to Is Being a Woman about More than Getting Married and Having Babies?

  1. Kathleen Princess Aldama says:

    I chose point number 3. It’s hard to think, feel, and act like Christ. It is really a struggle for me to act in the way God will receive all the glory especially in stressful times, but that’s where the power of God comes in. I know that if I will just sincerely ask for His guidance and wisdom everyday, I will have the strength to face each day with the thought “I have Jesus in my heart, I can do all things through Him. I can be a woman designed to be Christ-like.” 🙂

  2. This is a great article! I think it’s so easy for us girls to think that marriage is the only thing out there for us, when we should be focusing on the Lord and doing everything we do to Him! I’m choosing point number 1 and trying to think about every single thing that I do and ask myself if it brings God glory. Thank you for writing, Bethany!

  3. Victoria Rowbottom says:

    As an almost 23 year old I lose sight so often of my true purpose in life. I see so many of my friends courting/dating and married and feel left out like “what’s wrong with me”? Especially as I’ve never dated and never had interest shown my way. Thankyou for your encouragement through this article. It helps me shuffle my priorities to where they should be. So often I fall into the trap of discouragement and loneliness, when Jesus is the only one who can truly fulfill my longings of my heart. And I know if marriage is in my future, God is keeping me for His best for my life. I’m choosing to desire Gods glory above else! My human weakness says “just do what feels good for you.” But Gods plans are higher, His ways clearer, His love deeper than anything I may find by doing my own ways. Thanks for helping me redefine my mission in life, Bethany! Girl defined is a beautiful ministry and I appreciate all you do!

    • Brittany says:

      I think as single girls we often sit around and mope about being single. We see pictures of someone getting engaged or dating, and instead being happy for them, we feel sorry for ourselves. I don’t mean to seem insensitive. All single girls have fallen into this trap at one time or another. When we get focused on ‘poor single me, all alone’, we tend to forget about the important things. And we start to backslide in our spiritual walk.

      What would you do if some guy started showing interest in you? Maybe he did seem like ‘Mr. Right’, maybe he didn’t. But if you’ve spend so much time dreaming about getting married, and feeling sorry for yourself being alone, he will mostly like seem like your only prospect. I’ve heard many stories of this happening, and the girl suddenly forgetting about friends and family, and pushing them away, because they wanted the attention and thought this might be their only chance. They ruined their other relationships because they wouldn’t take advice from parents and friends, to be cautious, and jumped into something too fast. I think this it one of the biggest dangers of dwelling on our singleness.

      God hasn’t promised us marriage. He hasn’t promised us a romantic relationship. But He does have a plan for our lives. Like you said, “But Gods plans are higher, His ways clearer, His love deeper than anything I may find by doing my own ways.” Doing things our own way always makes a mess. I would encourage you to look around and find someone to help. There are so many things we can do beside think about our singleness. Help someone in need. Encourage a friend. Pick that dusty Bible off the bookshelf and actually study it. Make things right with someone you have wronged. Once your eyes are off your own situation, that is when you will find peace and fulfillment.

      Being single isn’t a curse – it’s a blessing. Don’t think of it as a crutch, but as time when you can put all your energy into serving God. There’s a Bible verse that says single woman serve God, but married woman have to serve their husband and God. Being married is a way of serving God too, but I think you have much more free time to do things for Him when you’re single. I highly recommend the book “Sacred Singleness” by Leslie Ludy. It really puts things into perspective.

  4. Mackenzie Alexis says:

    Love this pos!!! Thanks Bethany!

  5. Anna says:

    I choose point #1. I want God to be glorified in my everyday deeds. Great post Bethany! It inspires me, knowing that there are other girls like me in the world, trying to do what the Lord desires. God bless!

  6. Shanae B says:

    Read another article on this topic from another site earlier this week, totally agree! There’s so much emphasis on concentrating on getting married, college, career, etc… over what is actually most important for us as godly women. Thanks for posting!

  7. Victoria Rowbottom says:

    Kerry, Your post encouraged me in the fact that I realize I am not “the only one” out there, trying to figure out life and sometimes feeling left out. I was raised a “good Christian girl” but now in the adult world I see how hard sometimes it is to be the exception and a misfit in someways. Not drinking, not partying, living a very “clean life” is what some people call weird and abnormal. I had a older gentleman tell me once, “You mean you’ve never done anything bad? I mean, you are just “pure” and he just spat out the words with disgust. He then continued to tell me my job was to do something really bad and not tell my parents. I was 18 at the time. But we are called to be a “set apart” and a “peculiar” people. And yes, I sometimes wonder when my “turn” will come, but I like to think that when I’m ready, if its God’s plan, it will happen. And when that day comes, I also know I won’t regret one minute the single years. For, I am determined to use the single years for God’s glory, not my own!

    • Kerry says:

      Wow. I also thought I was the only one especially at this age (I’m 24 this year) and having never dated makes me feel like a loser but that almost always happens when I take my eyes off God. It is hard especially when everyone around you is dating or getting married and finding the right one or a 100 wrong ones and I’m like I think there’s a “undateable” sign on me that I’m unaware of. And not wanting to do the wrong things or being pure is actually looked down upon in our generation so I lost a lot of “friends” because I don’t live the way they do. But I totally agree with you and I think being happy now as a person and being complete in Christ is important so that we don’t depend on any human relationship for that worth. Some days will be hard but we have Jesus on our side. xoxo

  8. Britt says:

    Preach it! I’m glad you aren’t teaching the s3xist mumbo jumbo that woman’s primary purpose is makin’ babies and pleasing her husband. Women bear the image of God in their own unique way. Let’s bring glory to Christ!!!!

  9. MO says:

    Great article, I need to hear this!

  10. Lizzy says:

    Thank you! I love this article. I can definitely relate to thinking a lot about my future and sometimes defining myself by it. But I need to stay centered in what matters most!

  11. SedaJane says:

    I agree with this. As I read it, questions just popped up in my mind – like, Yes, I want to live for God’s glory, but HOW do I glorify God? What actions/thoughts/deeds does that entail? (The 2 great commandments and the Sermon on the Mount came to me.) And what does it really MEAN, to praise God? is it just words? In context, I think it must be more; I think the implication is that praise carries over into action – what actions praise God? (Micah 6:8?) What does it mean to become like Christ? And so on. Thoughts?

  12. Brittany Bradley says:

    I really love this post. I feel like so many women, and I am guilty myself, make marriage the ultimate goal for their life as if God hasn’t given them so much more worth and ability and talent to bring him glory. Thanks so much for the reminder I was looking for something like this.

  13. springagaykening says:

    life would be for more than marriage and children if you didn’t shame nonconformity and push a brain-washing agenda
    helping to progress as a society for the better would be a good thing to do with your life, but you’d condemn that

  14. Geritude says:

    Who needs children when you have pizza

  15. Snarky says:

    So basically the only purpose for a woman outside of getting married and making babies is to kiss gods butt….greeeeaaattt…. -_-

  16. Called says:

    Seriously Geritude…

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