Keeping Marriage Straight: Why the Bible Never Recognizes Gay Marriage

By: Kristen Clark

We live in a country where marriage has now been officially redefined and legalized to include “any two people who love each other, regardless of gender.”

However, our Supreme Court can’t redefine what they didn’t create. Sure, they can change the laws and give legal recognition to same-sex couples, but that doesn’t make it real marriage. In God’s eyes, they are not truly married. They can’t be.

The very first verse in the entire Bible tells us exactly who the author and creator of marriage is. He was the only one on the scene when it happened. “In the beginning God… (Genesis 1:1 emphasis added).”

Did you catch that? This verse might seem unimportant, but it’s actually the foundation for your entire belief.

In the beginning GOD. Not you. Not me. Not anybody else. Only God.

He was there. He was there in the beginning and He is the author of marriage. He is the only one who can define it.

The Bible never (not even once) recognizes or acknowledges a homosexual marriage.

The Bible never, even negatively, refers to a homosexual person as being in a “marriage relationship.”

The Bible also never refers to a homosexual person as “loving” their partner. Why? Because God is the author and definer of marriage and love, and homosexuality does not align with either of His definitions.

From the beginning of time, God created marriage to be between a male and a female (Genesis 2).

God intentionally and purposely created the male and female genders to reflect the image of Himself. This is so important for us to understand.

“When God created male and female, He had the dynamic of His own relationship in mind. The Lord created the two sexes to reflect something about God. He patterned the male-female relationship (‘them’) after the “us/our” [Trinity] relationship that exists within God. He designed the two sexes to put God on display.” -Nancy Leigh DeMoss

God created marriage to be between a husband and wife to reveal profound truths about the gospel.

“Together, male and female (gender) testify to the character of God and portray the greater reality of Christ and the church. This spiritual truth is so magnificent that God chose to put it on prominent display throughout the entire world. Scripture is emphatic that the storyline of male and female (and male-female relationships) has little to do with us, and much to do with God.” -Nancy Leigh DeMoss

The male and female genders represent different aspects of God’s character and nature.

We represent different things within the context of marriage. God intentionally created the husband to represent Christ (as the leader, the head, the protector, etc). God intentionally created the wife to represent the bride, which is the Church He redeemed (Ephesians 5:23).

The reason the Bible never acknowledges or mentions “gay marriage” or “homosexual marriage” is because it fails to represent who God is. It fails to represent His gospel message and His plan of redemption.

True marriage, as defined by God, can’t exist between the same gender because it fails to meet God’s criteria.

Sadly, many modern people are claiming things like, “since God is love, he must love everything.” This is a lie from the enemy and couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yes, God is 100% love. But he is also 100% just and He is 100% holy. Why do you think a loving God sent His only Son in the world to be brutally murdered (John 3:16)? Because God’s holiness was offended by our sin and His justice demanded a payment.

To understand an accurate picture of God, we must view His love, holiness, and justice on equal ground.

Despite popular opinion, the Bible never says that God loves or accepts the act of homosexuality. In fact, the opposite is true. God’s love, justice, and holiness are in direct opposition to the homosexual lifestyle. God views homosexuality as a twisted and perverted version of true love and true marriage.

As John MacArthur points out:

“God’s condemnation of homosexuality is abundantly clear – He opposes it in every age.

– In the patriarchs (Genesis 19:1-28)

– In the Law of Moses (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13)

– In the Prophets (Ezekiel 16:46-50)

– In the New Testament (Romans 1:18-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Jude 7-8)

Why does God condemn homosexuality?

Because it overturns God’s fundamental design for human relationships – a design that pictures the complementary relationship between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:18-25; Matthew 19:4-6; Ephesians 5:22-33).”

Instead of recognizing, “In the beginning was God…” the leaders of our nation have decided to become their own gods and make up their own rules. “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools” (Romans 1:21-22).

Isaiah 5:20 paints an unsettling, but accurate picture of our nation, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…!

What should our response be?

Although this has been a historical, but sad day in America, we have to remember that homosexuality and “gay marriage” isn’t the real battle here. The battle is for the hearts and minds of those who are lost.

Without Christ and His gospel, we would be just as lost and confused. Just like we were once, homosexuals are hurting people who desperately need the power of Christ to transform their lives.

As we move forward into this new season, may we speak the truth of God’s word in the love of Christ to everyone we meet.

John MacArthur exhorts us, “Make it a gospel response — confront him with the truth of Scripture that condemns him as a sinner, and point him to the hope of salvation through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Stay faithful to the Lord as you respond to homosexuality by honoring His Word, and leave the results to Him.”

This new sexual revolution is going to cause many hurting people to become even more lost and confused. As my local pastor said, “The wedding cake may taste good at first, but it will soon turn to gravel in their mouths.” Sin never satisfies. It can’t. There is no light apart from Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6).

May we be ready for the broken when they come.

May we be ready to reach out and show them the life-changing, hope-giving, soul-restoring power of Jesus Christ. And may we never redefine what God has created.

Let me hear from you.

  • Describe why God created marriage to be between a man and a woman?
  • On the topic of homosexuality, what do you find confusing or unclear about the issue?
  • How are you being pressured to accept and embrace “gay marriage” today?

Photo credit: Here 

Straight married couple kissing - Girl Defined

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  • RoseRed

    An acquaintance of mine recently asked me if I was okay with Gay people. Shocked, I found myself lost for words and merely shook my head. She then very plainly asked me why. My answer was, “Because the Bible says so.” She let the issue drop then and didn’t say anything more about it. But I wasn’t feeling pleased with my answer. Number one, I couldn’t remember the Bible stating anywhere that marriage involved a male and a female. Number two, our world has been saying that it doesn’t matter what gender, love is love. Now I’m realizing more and more that Homosexuality is wrong. And I wish I had given her a better answer. Thank you for posting this, Kristen. Now, I hope to give people better answers.

    • Jesusfreak17

      One differentiation we all need to remember is that though we disapprove of homosexuality, we (should) still love homosexual people. They are just sinners like us! We don’t want to support their sin, but the more we love them, the more likely they are to realize their ways are wrong and we have something better.

      • Guest

        I think the issue here is that many people are getting judgement and opinion confused. I have a lot of gay friends, I don’t like that they are open about their sexual sin but I’m not judging them. See my opinion does not mean we are judging them. I feel like many Christians feel the same way. People just need to know the difference and that would also Save a love of heartache on both ends of the spectrum.

        • Jesusfreak17

          Yeah, that can defiantly be true too! But sometimes the fault it with us and we are judging. I judged gay people for awhile until God kinda woke me up about it and was like, “Hey, you sin too, just in other ways. I love them just as much as I love you.” Both ends could use some work but we’re not responsible for how the world perceives us and what we do but how we perceive them and what we do.

      • Lizzy

        What do you mean when you said we should love homosexual people? How can you love people you barely know and show them that you love them without supporting their sin?

        • Jesusfreak17

          Well it depends on your relationship with an individual struggling with it. If you don’t know anyone who struggles with it then I guess the main thing is to not judge them. Then if someone walks into your world with this problem, you can love on them just as you would any other person in whatever type of relationship you have.

        • Valerie Valcourt

          You love the person and not the sin by praying for that person. The word teaches us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Yes we are all sinners, but we want to inherit the kingdom of heaven..which can only happen when we turn from our wicked ways. This means that we have to love everyone, and pray for them because their lives depend on it. What does love look 1corinthians looks like patience, it looks like kindness, it does not boast, it does not envy. We continue to do these things regardless if a person is gay, straight, black, white, red, purple, or pink. Whether they are liars, murders, rapist, cheaters, fornicators or whatever sin is on them. The demonic forces that this generation is battling is real. The bible teaches us that this battle is not against flesh and blood. so its not about the people. its a spiritual warfare going on.

        • Brooklyn

          Ok so I don’t mean to sound rude about this but pick up your bible and start reading. God has been dealing with sinners like you and gay people since Adam and Eve messed everything up. He still very obviously loves us. How did he show his love for us? When Christ died for us. The bible says that greater love has no one than this, that one would give up his life for a friend. Jesus tells us to love our enemies, love our neighbors, basically love everyone. Read the parable of the Good Samaritan. All the religious people who were expected to help the dying man on the side of the road completely ignored him and left him to die. Only the Samaritan man stopped to care for the man on the side of the road. Samaritans didn’t follow all of God’s commands, picked and chose from the bible, and we’re basically rejected by everyone. So why is the Samaritan portrayed as the good one here? Because he loved and cared for his neighbor- the man dying on the side of the road. If you don’t love gay people you are literally disobeying Gods commandments. So serve gay people. Sacrifice for them. Even lay down your own life for them. Yes, speak the truth, but don’t center every (or even many) conversations around their sin. They, like you, are not defined primarily by their sexuality. Learn about their interests, befriend them, treat them like you would treat anyone else. Pray for God to guide you in speaking the truth in a completely loving and graceful way. And for goodness sakes don’t treat them like a freak or like they’re such a terrible evil sinner unlike you the perfect angel who does no wrong. Jesus died for them just as much as he did you so act like it.
          So basically treat them as a friend. Don’t focus everything around their sins. Pray for them. Serve them sacrificially. Remember that their sexuality is not the primary component of their identity. Recognize that they are human and that their lives are just as complicated and messed up as anyone else’s. Remember that you don’t know everything and unless you face rejection and discrimination because of how you are you probably don’t know much about their experience. Befriend them, not for the purpose of showing them their sin but for the purpose of loving them and leading them to faith and love that is only found in Christ.

      • Lizzy

        This is still me, by the way, I changed my name.

    • Valerie Valcourt

      Actually, God defined marriage between man and woman when he created Adam and Eve. Most importantly, God illustrated the gender roles when He used Christ and the church..where Christ is the bridegroom, and the church is the bride. He clearly states in Ephesians the role of the genders as well. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church. Then He went on to say, Wives submit to your husband. There is a reason for this. God is a God of order. Gay marriage does not illustrate this order, nor does it recognize these roles. Remember, although the law of the land has rules, heaven and earth will pass away. God’s word will remain. So let’s not get caught up in feelings and emotions. This is the time to know the truth. Love with truth.

  • Dolly

    First of all, I just want to thank the writers of Girl Defined and their bravery to speak what is true, what is right, and what brings honor and praise to God.

    Secondly, Miss Kristen, you are right on all accounts.

    Also very quickly. I do believe Deuteronomy had something to say about homosexuality. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure it was in there somewhere.

    Have a beautiful day!

  • Jacey Faith

    Thank you for publishing this!!!!!! Our country has fallen so much, and only God can change the hearts of the people.

  • Clarissa

    I agree 100% with what you wrote! Placing God, above all else, is the key to success in everything! As mentioned in Job, there are certain things that we humans cannot control and only God can — creation of the stars, the sea monsters, and the foundation of the earth to name a few. Human “ways of life” cannot take the place of God’s sovereign, omniscient, omnipotent hand. Thank you for declaring truth and pointing us to the Gospel amidst this world covered in a new blanket of sin.

  • Elizabeth Williams

    I totally agree and this is what I’ve been saying! Just because you change the law, doesn’t mean you’ve actually changed anything! And even though a lot seems to be changing right now in our day, it really hasn’t. The important things are still the same! God is still God, Who He said He is. The Bible still means what it says and has/will never change. Right is still right and wrong is still wrong.Great article 🙂

    • Valerie Valcourt

      YES!! Heaven and earth will pass away, but His word will remain the SAME.

  • Elisabeth

    Thanks for the awesome post!!God placed the husband and wife marriage in place just how our culture had placed the Snowwhite and Prince Charming Theory,because what each one represents seems and is so perfect, Nothing could be better!!Thank you Girls for always speaking out, and speaking the truth!!

    • Azi

      What is “Snow White and Prince Charming theory”? I’d like to ask because I think I’ve heard of it before but aren’t sure if it’s what I think it is.

      • Elisabeth

        In my opinion,I think it’s really simple,Ya know how God placed Adam and Eve in the garden together and they loved and cared for each other before sin.Well,I think it’s our cultures way of adaption to what seems to be the most wonderful thing there is!In an imperfect world that is.Such as the kings and queens of the Midle ages.

  • Gods_girlcoco

    I am a devout Christian. However, I am completely ok with the ruling of the supreme court. My best friend is gay and is now engaged. I can’t wait to attend his wedding. Is homosexuality is a sin? Yes. However, we are all sinners. Therefore, why should our beliefs restrict others from being with who they love and being who they are? Love is love….and that’s what it will always be. #Lovewins Thanks for the post.

    • Guest

      I agree that love wins. (God’s love) It’s great that you are a Christian and understand that homosexuality is sin. So let me ask you a question: Is it loving to endorse sin? What if you saw someone about to kill a someone, but did nothing to stop the murder? Imaging going up to the person who is about to commit the murder and you say “What you’re about to do is sin, but if you love doing it and it’s part of “who you are”, go right ahead!” Is that right?? We MUST love the person, but let them know we can NOT endorse their sin and explain the truth in love.
      Thanks for your honesty in your comment…keep trusting in the Lord and he will always show you the right path!

    • rain

      Love won 2015 years ago when Jesus died on the cross for us, not a few days ago with a court ruling.

    • Valerie Valcourt

      Love is God. God is Love. Marriage is not about being with someone to make you happy, its not about looking cute together. Its not about feelings and emotions. Marriage is about glorifying God. Homosexuality does not do that. The purpose of marriage is to illustrate the picture of christ and the church. Gay marriage destroys that picture. We can love a person and not love their sin. The word teaches this. Since we know the truth, we will be judged. Stand by the word, and not your feelings and emotions. Heaven and earth will pass away, but His word will remain.

      • Brooklyn

        Hi sorry just wanted to correct your huge theological error right there. You said love is God… Nope. God is love but love is not God. Love is a characteristic of God uniquely expressed in His perfect love. But love is not our god. We do not worship love. Love is a characteristic of God, sort of like how God is holy and God is just and God is good and God is wrathful. However we do not wor bail wrath or justice or goodness. We worship God, all of these things are characteristics of God, attributes of God, but do not solely make up His identity.

    • Eve

      Wow where exactly do you draw the line then? Can a man marry his daughter if he “loovves” her? What about a man and his pet, can they marry? Two brothers can they marry? I have yet to meet a supporter of “gay marriage” who consistently believes that any two people (or more who knows?) or beings who “looove” each other can marry. Sorry but you are very confused like the rest of the world about what love is, I can tell you right now love is not a feeling nor is it lust nor is it perverse, love is an act of will the sooner you understand that the sooner you’ll be able to see why Christianity and “gay marriage” are completely incompatible.

      • That is the most moronic argument ever made. Stop eating paint chips, you stupid hate monger.

      • Olivia Anne

        Are you HONESTLY comparing two consensual adults to a man and a dog?? If you think those things are on a similar comparison level, I pray for your soul!

  • Great post! Thanks for standing for truth! 🙂

  • seh092

    Love this post!! What I don’t understand are the Christians who are happy this passed. I mean, do they not care that it goes against God’s Word?

  • Thanks for standing out on this issue and for sharing Scripture and truths from God’s Word!!

  • Marie

    I support Gay marriage because Jesus asked to treat others the way you want to be treated. I would be devastated if I could not marry the person I loved.

    • Valerie Valcourt

      God is love. You can love the person without loving their sin. The true purpose of marriage is to demonstrate the relationship of Christ and the Church, God created it as a picture for us to understand His love for us. Gay marriage robs this. Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with Christ. Our God is a God of order. Gay marriage is out of order. You can love a person but not their sin. Be careful to not be conformed by the way of the world, but be transformed with the renewing of your mind. As christians we have to stand for truth.

  • giggle

    in marriage the guy represents the head,he’s the leader, you can’t have two heads in a marriage because they will always be going in separate ways and the marriage will fail. and it’s the same thing the other way around if you have no head you won’t be going anywhere any time soon….or ever.

    • firelovesinnocence

      idk giggle my girlfriend and I plan on getting married and we already give each other plenty of head

  • Brooklyn

    Quick question I’m curious to what y’all would say about re-marrying after a divorce. Because about 80% of married couples I know are either divorced or remarried after a divorce. The bible talks about the evil of divorce way more than homosexuality, so shouldn’t you not recognize married couples who divorced their first (or second, or third, or eighth) marriage? Because to me it seems that God for the most part let’s governments decide which marriages to recognize and which not to. An example of this would be literally every polygamous marriage in the bible. The bible recognizes these marriages as marriages even though it goes against Gods design for marriage. Even though I do believe gay marriage is wrong, I don’t see why you would claim not to recognize it as marriage despite that extremely ungodly and unbiblical marriages being seen as much better despite their obviously condemned flaws. Please either stop saying that gay marriage isn’t marriage or start saying remarriage after divorce and all polygamous marriages throughout history and around the world aren’t really marriage. Just be consistent for goodness sake.
    To sum it up, here’s my main points that I would like someone to adress:
    1. Why not recognize gay marriage when other ungodly marriages that don’t glorify God are recognized, even by the Christian community?
    2. If we shouldn’t recognize gay marriage despite it being legalized, then should we also not recognized ungodly or even unchristian marriages? Should Christians be the only ones allowed to get married?
    3. Why is remarriage after divorce so accepted and even applauded and celebrated by Christians while the same Christians turn around and refuse to even call gay marriage a true marriage?
    4. Should we refuse to recognize every marriage that is not exactly as God designed it?
    5. Since the bible recognizes ungodly marriages as still marriage, shouldn’t we do the same?
    Anyways I’m really curious to know what you think about this. Thanks!

  • Jack Medaris

    Unfortunately for you, marriage is not a purely symbolic or religious thing anymore. In the United States, there are currently a huge amount of legal benefits to marriage. And because the US government is supposed to be separate from any religion, marriage between people of any gender must be legal.

  • Violet

    lmao this argument is as weak as ever. While the Bible never mentions gay marriage, it does mention slavery. A lot. And mostly, it’s not really condemned. So, uh, there goes the moral superiority there.
    All verses “condemning” gay people can be chalked up to misinterpretation. Hebrew’s a very different language from English, and the Bible’s an old piece of literature. Stuff gets lost in translation.
    Not to mention the fact that, to my recollection, Leviticus condemns some pretty wacky stuff. If you’re not going to enable active hatred towards people who wear mixed-fabric clothing, plant their gardens in an unorderly fashion, or claim to be wizards, why are you giving gay people so much trouble? Give it a rest, already. We aren’t living in biblical times.

  • Saltasaurus

    Along with what Violet said I’d just like to point out that there might be just one or two other small reasons God wasn’t cool with Sodom. Like you know, the attempted rape thing. But sure, they could have been killed for being gay too I guess. We’ll go with that.

  • Olivia Anne

    Whaaat. Your marriage isn’t real to me because I’m not the same religion as you! See how dumb that sounds. A marriage between two atheists wouldn’t be real to you either huh? Forget this. If it’s recognized by law, it’s a marriage! Maybe not to your beliefs, but it’s so naive to think you get to declare what is and what isn’t a marriage. How you feel about men is how some women feel for other women. Judge not.

  • Olivia Anne

    Does ANYONE actually do research or just believe what they are told? Being gay is not anymore a sin than wearing makeup. The lord said to get rid of the old testament, duh.

  • Gay and Okay

    You’re one of those people who believe in conversion therapy or not

  • Leslie

    i love your reading your articles because laughter is good for my gay soul

  • Amelia Nannette

    I like how you said the Supreme Court can’t dictate what it didn’t create. Because it makes it easy for me to pick apart your argument.

    I hate to break it to you, but Christianity didn’t create it either. It has existed long before Christianity had. Ancient societies everywhere have had marriage as a tradition. So according to your logic, Christianity should also be unable to dictate what marriage is.

    Also, the Supreme Court isn’t dictating what you choose to view as marriage, it’s dictating what marriage is according to the law. By your logic, everyone who isn’t Christian (or even your denomination) shouldn’t be allowed to be married. Would you argue that Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindis, Sikhs, Jains, pagans, atheists, etc., should also be banned from marriage unless they convert to Christianity?

  • SansanD

    Why is it so hard for people to accept equality? so you can get married but I can’t? why are you better then me?
    did god make me less then you because i’m gay?

  • Tash

    this is ridiculous. the LGBTQ community isn’t harming anyone. they’ve done nothing to harm you. just look at all the beautiful couples who are so happy that they can finally be themselves, and all the straight people also made happy by seeing it. God didn’t write the bible, people did, thousands of years ago. don’t be so ignorant. PS- homosexuality has been around since long before Christianity was even thought of.

  • Anonymous

    Why does it matter what people do personally that doesn’t harm others? Everyone sins. Why is everyone more aggressive towards the gay sin than other sins? Gay marriage is not the only thing people have redefined. The bible doesn’t mention most things in life from new technology, innovation, industrialisation, globalization, progressive etc. You might think gay marriage is wrong, but the majority of the people in the U.S and western countries accept it. Just let people live their lives and let God himself judge them, not you. If you simply love everyone, you’ll live a happier life.

    • Shanae B

      To your sin question, it’s partially because homosexuality is one of the sins directly listed as an abomination in the Bible. The word homosexual is also never mentioned outside of a list of sins or in talking about people committing sins.

  • Anon

    …so am I the ONLY one who remembers that the Bible was written by a human, not God? And honestly, people can put whatever views they have in there…the way you’re dragging it out is like you’re about to ask the Bible if you want to have pizza or a salad for dinner tomorrow

    • Shanae B

      If humans and not God as you say wrote the Bible then it wouldn’t be list as one of the sins.

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