What to do When You’re Not Getting a Kiss Under the Mistletoe

By: Bethany Baird

The cold weather. The beautiful lights. The white snow. The music. The traditions. The feelings of warmth and love. The gifts. The Christmas season.

I don’t know about you, but when the Christmas season rolls around, I get in a sentimental, sweet, and special sort of mood. I soak up my time spent with friends and family and treasure every special tradition we celebrate during the December month.

One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is…wait for it…the Christmas music. I absolutely L-O-V-E Christmas music. I admit, I’m guilty. I break all the rules. I started listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving this year. I just can’t get enough of it.

Steal a Kiss Under the Mistletoe

One of my personal favorite Christmas songs is “Come On, Christmas” by Matthew West.

“Well, there’s just something about this time of year

You can feel the excitement in the air

Everyone’s hangin’ with family and friends

And it’s making you feel like a kid once again

Steal a kiss under the mistletoe…”

And then it happens. The talk of mistletoe. If there is one topic that seems to overwhelm the Christmas season, it’s romance. Romance and holidays seem to go hand-in-hand these days. Which is fabulous, If you’re in a relationship or married. But, if you’re single (like I am) it can present a whole new world of feelings and emotions.

Holidays and Romance

As a single girl, I totally get it. I get that the holiday season can be completely awesome and completely difficult at the same time. I realize that and want to acknowledge that. I know there are many of you out there who have a “love/hate” relationship with the holidays.

I’ve talked to countless single girls who have expressed their desire for just wanting that “someone special” to share the joys of the season with.

I’m sure many of you can relate.

You hear the music, you see the pictures, you feel the “love in the air” and you just wish you had a man to enjoy it with. But, you don’t. It’s just little old you with your Christmas music and peppermint mocha. You dream of the day when you will have a family of your own and someone to “steal a kiss under the mistletoe” with, but that’s not your current reality.

A New Perspective and a Little Bit of Hope

From one single girl to another, I want to share with you a new perspective and a little bit of hope. I want to encourage you with some nuggets of truth that have really helped me remain joyful, happy, and content during the holidays, despite my relationship status.

1. Don’t Compare.

One of the biggest things, we, as single girls like to do, is compare. We compare our lives to those around us and then cry because we don’t have what others have. God has a different plan and time frame for each one of our lives. Let’s remember that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, all-amazing and totally in control. You can one-hundred percent trust Him with your relationship status. Trust that His timing is best and don’t compare His plan for you to His plan for others.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

2. Remain Outward Focused

When life is all about “me, me, and me” it becomes very sad and depressing. Get your eyes focused on others and choose to bless those around you during this holiday season. Get creative and think of ways to add some unexpected fun to those closest to you. Bake and decorate sugar cookies with your siblings, read a book (Lamplighters are amazing) by the fire, drink hot chocolate and look through baby albums, write cards to soldiers, or, visit an old folks home. Do something this season to unexpectedly bless someone around you.

3. Make the Most of the Season

I encourage you to make the most of the season. Don’t let it slip by without making some amazing new memories. Awesome memories aren’t reserved for those only in romantic relationships. We, as single girls, can have just as much fun and memory making as those in relationships. You just need to make some efforts to create those special moments.

4. Focus on the Reason for the Season

Take some time to read through, either, Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John over the next few weeks. Seriously, take some time to remember that Jesus is the true reason for the season. The movie “The Nativity Story” is also an incredible reminder of what the season is all about. I highly recommend it.

I’d love to hear from you now. How do you remain joyful and content during the “romantic holiday season” as a single girl? How do you keep a smile on your face when it feels like all of your friends are happily enjoying the mistletoe?

Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Photo Credit 

Girl in winter wonder land

images images images
  • Lindsay

    We must remember that Christmas isn’t about family- it’s about Jesus. He is all you need.

    • Madeleine Grace

      Your so right Lindsay thank you!!!!

  • Anonymous

    This is clearly something I needed to read, because recently all my friends have plunged headfirst into romantic relationships and I seem to be the only single one, I never really felt bad about it though because they always seemed to be the ones getting hurt and all, so I figured it was safe to be single, and to save my first kiss, and I was content, but I admit the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me, I even thought about agreeing to date the guys that showed interest but I just couldn’t, there is like this big wall I can’t seem to scale with guys, so I think maybe God is protecting me from making choices because of those around me instead of for Him and myself, and when the right guy comes at the right time I will eventually scale the wall, thanks for this, especially tip number one; Don’t Compare, it always seems to be an issue with me, I have no problem being happy for the people around me, but with being sad when my own situation pales in comparison. I think this really helped. Do you have any verses you recommend I could meditate on?

    • Lindsay

      “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26

      • Madeleine Grace


  • Judy

    Thank you!!! I love reading the blogs here!! Christmas is hard!! Especially when those aunts and uncles, now cousins too, are asking about my relationship status.
    I love helping with my church youth group, some of those young ladies are single too, I love hanging out with other single ladies, no matter their age. 🙂 I suggested once of your blogs this week to one of my youth, she loved it and had been reading more.
    Thank you ladies for your blog ministry!! I’m grateful to God for you!! May God bless you as you continue to faithfully serve Him!!

  • Madeleine Grace

    This is something I’ve been struggling with, it started last year and has continued through this Christmas season as well! It seems like all my friends either have girls friends or boyfriends! And I just recently found out that a friend of mine from bible study he has a girlfriend! This gets me down but something I recently started doing is writing my future husband letters! That had really impacted me and kind of in a way put life in perspective! It’s given me hope to know that hey my guy is out their an that will be me one of these days, I just have to hold on a trust The Lord and remember what the season is all about!!!

    Thank you for this article it was trully a blessing! 🙂

    Merry Christmas!

  • Elaine

    This is a great post. I was wondering, though, where do you get the images for your articles? I’m a young writer and I find the images get me thinking of beautiful story lines and I would love to get some for myself. I would really appreciate it!

    • Hey Elaine, We currently get most of our images from Flickr. They have a great selection of high quality free images. I hope that helps! -Bethany

      • Elaine

        That helps a lot. Thanks so much!

e-book img

Sign up to receive our blog posts via e-mail and get a copy of our free e-book:
Reaching Beyond Myself
30 Day Devotional

Privacy guarantee: We will never share your e-mail address with anyone else