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Lost Virginity Does Not Define Your Worth

By: Bethany Baird

She had the reputation of a harlot and a track record to back it up.

If God was going to use a woman to impact history in amazing ways, he shouldn’t have used this woman. Why would God use her, a harlot, when there were so many other well-put-together women around?

We don’t know all of the details of this woman’s story, but we do know this.

Rahab, the prostitute, was the mother of Boaz (Ruth’s husband) and the great-grandmother of David (a man after God’s own heart).

In fact, Rahab was honored to be one of the few women in the lineage of Jesus.

Rahab the harlot, the woman who’d given her body away as a way of making money, was chosen to be in the lineage of Jesus. She was given one of the greatest honors any woman throughout all of history could have ever been given.

God chose to use an imperfect woman, with a repentant heart, to accomplish amazing things.

I wish we, as Christian women, would slow down to remember stories like Rahab’s. I wish we would slow down and remember the women that God chose to use for Kingdom purposes.

In today’s blog, I want us to slow down for just a bit.

If you struggle with guilt, shame, embarrassment, and/or pain over your own lost virginity, I have a word of hope for you.

Your worth has nothing to do with your virginity or your lost virginity.

Your worth has nothing to do with your good or bad works. Your worth has nothing to do with your reputation. Your worth has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done or ever will do. You can’t earn your worth and you can’t lose your worth.

Your worth is found totally and completely in the love God has given you through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ.

Sadly, the enemy, Satan, so desperately wants you and me to pay for our sin.

He wants you to believe that your sin is so bad that God could never forgive it. He wants you to believe that Jesus is so ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed in you. He wants you to believe that God doesn’t really love you. He wants you to believe that your worth as a woman is tied up in your own perfection and holiness.

We have some words for the enemy. Not today, Satan!

His future is sure (read about Satan’s future) and we know the True King who will reign forever and ever.

We reject the enemies lies and we will not let him destroy our lives.

We have a God that will have the final say. We have a God that sent His perfect Son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins once and for all. He has every power, every authority, every control, every sovereignty, every reign, every right, every perfect love, and every plan for our futures.

Hear this truth loud and clear.

God loved each one of so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. He didn’t send Jesus to die for perfect, holy, upright people. No! He sent Him to die for wretched sinners. He sent Jesus to the cross to pay for each and every sin you have committed and will commit.

Please do not spend the rest of your life living in guilt over the sins that Jesus has already paid the price for.

You don’t have to pay the ultimate price. Jesus has paid it.

You can have true and lasting forgiveness for anything you’ve ever done. No matter how horrendous, God will forgive you.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

Think back to the life of Rahab (read more about her story here).

If she had believed the lie that God only used “good girls” and “perfect people,” the very lineage of our Savior would look different.

Thankfully, she was able to accept the forgiveness of God and went on to live an amazing life for God.

That is what I want for you.

I want you to walk in the forgiveness that God is offering you.

Don’t live your life trying to pay for your own sin. Accept the work Jesus has already done and move forward in freedom. Yes, there may be earthly trials, challenges, and scars that we carry because of past sin. But, that doesn’t define us and that doesn’t hinder God from using us in huge and awesome ways.

I would also encourage you to read, Lost Virginity: Practical Help to Reclaim Your Future, to help you gain even more wisdom and truth in this area.

Let’s talk.

What’s keeping you from walking in freedom?

Will you choose to accept the forgiveness that God has offered you?

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  • Shanae B

    This is very true! The enemy tries to hold any sin we commit over our heads and use it to keep us from what God has for us! To you girls out there who aren’t virgins anymore, as one who still is, God doesn’t love or think us better than you. Everyone has some kind of sin they have to give to God and work out through Him! Paul when he was still called Saul was going around killing and persecuting Christians before he came to God. Then afterwards God had him travel and spread the gospel and he wrote many of the books in the New Testament!

  • elanda pienaar

    I can’t express how grateful I am for this post. Just today I probably spent 5 hours online searching for answers on how to live a pure life after losing your virginity and I couldn’t find anything, until I saw this. Thank you so much for sharing some hope. Bless you.

  • xoxo Smile_sunshine

    Thank you so much for this post….. I have been suffering from this enormous guilt, making me live in a very low self-esteem everyday life. Thank you so much for the reminding scripture in 1John 1:9, cause I am a christian since a kid but never knew that this sin would have held on to me so tight in my lows. I will learn to keep my eyes still on God’s love instead of focusing on what Satan has been trying to do on me. This needs a long-term healing time to recover, but I believe in Jesus.

  • Ana

    Ok God totally answer my prayer. I was talking to God about this today, Actually I was crying out to Him. Begging Him for His forgiveness. I was NOT raised in a Christian home and well I was part of the world. I only follow my passion and sin. Moving forward to today and I can’t help but to feel unworthy, dirty and it seems that I can’t forgive myself for all my sins. The enemy has me believed that the reason why at 30yrs old and not married is because God is mad at me and I am unworthy for any godly man. I cannot express how sorry I am that I did not waited on my husband, which now I believe it will never happen.

    • Shanae B

      God can and will forgive any sin we give up to him! Ask Him to help you move forward from this point and he will be faithful! If it’s his plan for you to be married at some point down the road it will happen! Just concentrate on Him and work towards growing closer to Him right now. He will bring about other relationships (friendship, romantic, or otherwise) in His timing!

      • Ana

        Hi Shanae,

        Thank you for your inspiring words. I am crying out to Him everyday since I He came into my life. He has cleanse me, but now I need to believe myself.

        • Shanae B

          Just keep it up, it will happen! 🙂

  • Leah

    AN AMAZING REMINDER!

  • Michaela Miller

    It’s such a burden to carry one’s own sin!
    Satan knows this. That’s why he wants us to carry it.
    Jesus wants to carry it for us! We should let Him!
    There is freedom and there is room to breath when the chains let lose when we give it to Jesus! <3
    Thank you for this blog post! I am definitely sharing!

  • Raquel Alves

    Thanks for this. God is awesome! And death has no more power over us, now that we are alive in Jesus! I surely need to remind this to myself more often. God bless you, dear sisters!

  • limor sayag

    I love that you touched this topic!
    I lost my Virginity when I was 20 while feeling disconnected from God. I felt so guilty and wanted to take it back, but it was too late.
    I can say today that God has given me a new heart and a deeper understanding of purity.
    I’m now 25 and in a relationship with an AMAZING Godly man!
    One of the hardest things I ever had to do was tell him about my past. He saved himself for marriage (an he’s 30!) and frankly was surprised that I didn’t do the same. I never knew that my sin would effect someone else in such a way. In my mind I really thought that he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, since I’ve already been forgiven, but I understood that it actually was really hard for him to accept, not because he thought that he was more “worthy” than me but for him just the thought of me being with another guy was unbearable.
    We are still working through these feelings but not giving up on etch other and praying and working on this issue.
    Just wanted girls and woman that also lost the virginity to know that you can still fined a Godly man but it doesn’t mean that your past won’t be something that you BOTH need to work on. Don’t give up by feeling that your not worthy of a good life.
    God wants us to learn from our mistakes and RUN to him with everything that we got.
    Lets not look back but look forward to the amazing plan that God has for us.

    Wow.. felt good letting that out 😉

  • Emily Maynard

    Thank you so much! I still hold my virginity, but struggled with a different sin for a few years until a few months ago. The devil has been holding it over my head, and although I knew I was forgiven and my sin did not define me, it was reassuring to hear someone else back it up biblically.


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