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Lust: A Christian Girl’s Problem Too

By: Kristen Clark

I have an honest confession. As a young high school girl, my heart was full of lust and I did very little to fight against it.

One night, God got ahold of my heart and everything changed. I came across a little hardback book that blasted truth into my heart like never before. It’s the little book written by Josh Harris called, Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is.

Tears streamed down my face as I realized how wrong and sinful I had been. I felt dirty before a Holy and perfect God.

I confessed my sin and asked Christ to forgive me.

Was life perfect after that? Not even close. But I now had ammunition and knew how to fight the battle raging in my own heart.

When most of us hear the word lust we often think, “Oh, that’s just a guy problem.” I thought the same thing once, but I was very wrong. As Josh Harris says, “lust isn’t just a guy problem–it’s a human problem.”

So what exactly is lust?

“Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden. To lust is to want what you don’t have and weren’t meant to have. Lust goes beyond attraction, an appreciation of beauty, or even a healthy desire for sex–it makes these desires more important than God. Lust wants to go outside God’s guidelines to find satisfaction.” – Josh Harris.

Basically, lust demands instant gratification.

The root of lust almost always starts as a tempting thought. What you do with that thought (about something you saw, read, or heard) will determine whether or not it becomes a sin.

You can choose to reject the thought or you can choose to entertain it.

When you choose to entertain a lustful thought, it becomes harder and harder to resist the next time. Hiding your lust doesn’t make it go away either. Many Christian girls, just like you, have a secret dark place in your heart that nobody knows about.

A place where you think and dream about sexual things in a sinful, lustful way. A secret place where you may privately view pornography. A secret place where you feast your mind on erotic sex-driven romance novels.

You may look pure and happy on the outside, but on the inside you know the truth about your heart.

You know the truth about your secret sins.

And guess who else sees everything you do in private? God does. Psalm 90:8 says, “You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.”

Just because our sins are done in secret doesn’t mean they’re a “secret.” God sees all of them. Our secret sins offend a holy God, and there will be consequences.

The results of a lustful heart is a broken relationship with Christ, lack of desire to grow spiritually, confusion about your sexual identity, struggles in your future marriage, and a strong bondage to sin.

You become a slave to the very sin you thought would bring freedom and pleasure.

As Jesus said in John 8:34, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.”

If you’re struggling with lustful sins right now, chances are you’re doing something to feed that ugly beast. I know I was. I challenge you to examine all of your actions, thoughts, and activities. Remove anything that is tempting you to sin.

Here are some ways you could be feeding your lust today:

  • You feed your lust by watching movies or TV shows that romanticize sex before marriage.
  • You feed your lust by reading romance novels that encourage sexual adventure and exploration.
  • You feed your lust by viewing online blogs and websites that promote promiscuity and display sexual images.
  • You feed your lust by staring at the Hollister poster for just a little too long.
  • You feed your lust by looking up “hot guys” on your social media apps.
  • You feed your lust by: Fill in the blank ________________________

Do whatever it takes to break free.

The turning point in my life (back in high school) was when I brought my sin into the light. I confessed my sin to God, then did the hardest thing on the planet!

I actually confessed my lustful sin to my parents and asked them to hold me accountable.

This was HUGE.

Getting my sin into the light and seeking accountability was one of the best (and hardest) things I did, and it was the turning point in my battle. I also threw away any movies, music, and books that caused temptation for me.

What I learned, and what I hope you will learn too, is this:

Sexual sin is not something to be taken lightly because it is not taken lightly by our God.

As Paul David Tripp says, “The question underlying all human thought, motive, and behavior is, will I live out my identity as a creature of God (and for the behavior, as a child of God) or will I live as my god with no higher agenda than my own satisfaction?”

I know how hard the battle is, and my prayers are with you. As a daughter of the King, you’re not alone in this fight. God will help you break free.

My prayer for you today is that you would passionately pursue 1 Thessalonians 4:3 which says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.”

God wants you to experience the amazing, mind-blowing pleasure of pure and holy sex within marriage one day.

Don’t settle for the cheap worldly version.

Let’s have an honest chat below.

  • Do you have secret sins that need to be confessed to God and your parents (or a wise mentor)?
  • What things make it hard for you to resist lustful temptation today?
  • How have you been successful in overcoming lust?
  • What tips would you give to a girl who is currently struggling in this area?

For more help on this topic, read some of our other posts:

My Secret Thought Life
Porn, Not Just a Guy Issue
When Romantic Fantasies Get the Best of You

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Radical Purity

14 Responses to Lust: A Christian Girl’s Problem Too

  1. Pooja jersy says:

    It is very much important matter all girls and guy gone through this situation…
    some time we use to get temptation but we have to come over from that .. it ll be very much difficulty fact but must n should we have to come we have to ride on that … Even i through the same way fighting with this kind of feelings n all……..Your message is very much usefull for youths… When we r fill up with the spirit of god we wnt committe with this

    • GirlDefined says:

      Thanks for sharing! Yes, it is something that most girls and guys go through. I pray this article was helpful and encouraging to you. 🙂

  2. Liz H says:

    Awesome post. I own that book, and it’s so awesome! Thank you for your encouraging and convicting words. Love you!

  3. Lisa Hallahan says:

    Kristen! This was amazing! I am in the process of writing an article about girl’s struggles with lust that will be published at the end of the month and this was just perfect timing! I know that I have struggled with this sin and that many others do too. Thank you for being so open and helpful! God bless <3

  4. keke says:

    I’m realizing this as well. I found a Bible verse the other day which said that if you think about lustful thoughts, you have already committed adultery. Wow, another thing which I regret, is reading young adult novels which were not good, producing visual pictures of lust. We should warn young girls to keep away from young adult novels, because more than ever they are growing more and more sinful, political, and controversial to our religious beliefs.

  5. Elisabeth says:

    Thanks girls, I used to really struggle with this a lot, but then I realized that trying to jump ahead of God’s timing is only going to make me miserable, and loose precious things, and so as a kind/teen I decided to just enjoy being that!It has worked exceedingly well for me, and I love it!!It was nearly as easy to give up or get out of as I just said, but someone that’s still in it, I say”Get out of there as fast as you can and just enjoy what you should not what you shouldn’t

  6. Elizabeth Williams says:

    I think a big problem for people is that they don’t guard their hearts! Like you said, music, movies/tv, books, websites, etc. We have to constantly be on guard for anything that can feed our flesh!

  7. Cynthia Autry says:

    Someone be truly honest with me. Is masturbation a sin?

    • Rachel Kroner says:

      Yes, it is sexual immorality.
      Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18

  8. Lina says:

    Thank you for these convicting words!

  9. Anna says:

    Wow thank you. I have been really struggling in this area. Your article has been so encouraging and challenging. Thank you so much for writing on this subject.

  10. Amber says:

    This is an area I struggle with a lot. And I thought I was the only one. I talked to someone a while back and after that it was easier to fight the sin. The person I talked to suggested I have an accountability partner but I was a bit to lazy/embarrassed to actually find someone. It’s been about 5 months since I told this person and for about 1 month I’ve really been slipping back into mastrubation/lust. I know it’s a sin, and I am constantly confessing to God. I know a Christian counselor that I can talk to, and I will.
    Something that does help me though, is to read chapters of the Bible. Even if it’s the Old Testament. Or even listening to the Bible on audio.

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