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Will Marriage Turn Me Into Princess Perfect?

By: Bethany Baird

As a little girl I thought that meeting Prince Charming, falling in love, and living happily ever was (basically) the entire point of being a woman. Not being married by at least nineteen would have been a disaster in my little girl mind.

Fast forward a chunk of years and – surprise surprise – I’m not married. Nineteen is long gone and the husband is nowhere to be found.

Not Prepared.

Looking back I realize that at eighteen-to-nineteenish years old, I was absolutely not prepared for marriage. I thought I was prepared, but looking back, I wasn’t.

I (100%) bought into the lie that no matter what my character flaws were as a single, I would turn into an angel as soon as I got married. Don’t laugh at me, I know you’ve had this thought too. I was positive that any impatience, discontentment, laziness or whatever the issue, would disappear as soon as I married my prince charming.

My future husband’s overwhelming love and adoration for me would turn any of my weaknesses into pure love for him. I would be the ultimate wife.

Yikes! Was I confused or what?

To be completely and brutally honest, I must confess that I didn’t realize how wrong my thinking was until about two years ago. Seriously. It was a rude awakening.

It wasn’t an overnight revelation, but a combination of my sister Kristen getting married, and me going through a serious relationship myself.

During those two events God slowly opened my eyes to this important fact: Whoever I am before marriage is the same girl I will be in marriage. The good, the bad, the ugly. It would all follow me down the aisle.

All hope is not lost!

I can honestly say now that I’m grateful I didn’t get married at 19. My poor husband and I would have both had that rude awakening. I wouldn’t have turned into a magical Princess Perfect, and he wouldn’t have turned into Prince Perfect. We would have both continued to be sinners. He would still be a sinful human man, and I would still be a sinful human woman.

Thankfully, I’ve come to terms with that truth. I realize now that I will only be as “princess perfect” as I prepare myself to be. My character will only be as good as I make it. My relationship with God will only be as good as it is before marriage. My peace and contentment will stay the same. Nothing magical will take place. My heart will be the same.

What’s inside will come out.

Don’t make the same mistake.

If it’s your heart’s desire to get married by 18, 25, or 40, don’t make the same mistake that I made. Don’t believe the lie that you will transform into miss “perfectly loving and lovable” the day that you get married.

We need to start listening. Married women have been telling us this truth for years, but out of foolish stupidity we ignore them. We chat with our single girlfriends and high five each other over our inexperienced ignorance. It’s time we stopped believing the lie and started believing the truth. It’s time we took responsibility and started making some changes.

I challenge you to believe the truth.

When it comes to marriage, you will only be as ready as you prepare yourself to be. You have the time right now to make changes. By God’s grace you can begin working on your weaknesses and sinful struggles today. You can grow in your relationship and knowledge of God. You can spend time studying, reading, learning and growing.

Don’t wait until you are married to work on your character. Start now. Take full advantage and prepare yourself. You will never become “Princess Perfect,” but you will be a whole lot better off than having not prepared at all.

What about you?

Have you bought into the lie that you will turn into “Princess Perfect” when you get married?

Are you willing to work on your character now, so that you can be a bigger blessing to your husband in the future?

Specifically, how can you improve your character?

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Pre-Prom Shoot

Girl in pretty dress.

 

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  • Lorli

    I think this lie impacts the divorce rate significantly. Rather than realizing that you are both sinful humans, you begin to feel like, ‘things aren’t going perfectly… he must not actually be my prince charming.’ If you think that marriage will always be perfect, you place a tremendous and unrealistic strain on yourself and your poor spouse.

    • Great thoughts Lorli! Sadly, so many divorces happen because one person doesn’t “feel” like they love the other person anymore. Marriage will never be perfect, but each person can choose to grow/strengthen their own character and in return selflessly love the other. Thanks for sharing!

  • Marie

    Wow… Great job! A good reminder that preparing for marriage starts right within my family… With parents and siblings. I can’t think of a greater training ground. Learning to be selfless, giving, thoughtful, accountable, flexible, organized, resourceful… Hmmm, reminds me of, oh yes, Jesus! God is using all those around me and my circumstances to help mold me into the image of Jesus! Thanks for reminding me of my purpose right now!

    • Thanks Marie! Starting in your own family is the PERFECT training grounds for marriage. Keep up the good work!

  • Elisabeth

    Like you, Bethany, When I was really little I also thought the world would come to an end if I wasn’t married by a young age mine was sixteen.But as you said that age for me come and went also.I’m so glad I didn’t get married at the at no kind of wife would I have been. Know 17 soon to be 18 I see how I need to grow so much in order to even possibly get married at your target age . It’s nice to know some one thanks as I do.

  • Bethany

    Thank you so much for this post! These thoughts have been in the back of my head every time I think about marriage and dating/courtship, but nothing has ever happened to make me really think about it. This post has definitely done that, and I’m going to try to do what you suggested–I’m going to spend more time in the Word, changing and improving upon my character flaws and drawing closer to God.

  • Pooja jersy

    Really Its encouraniging us to prepare us to become better than before…. Thank you so much for posting these kind of msgs …

  • Emmy Paige

    This post feels like it was pointed right at me! I am seventeen, and I STILL think I will turn angelic and perfect once I enter into matrimony! Thank you for your words. It was so insightful and encouraging :).

  • Pingback: What a Single Guy Taught Me About Marriage()


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