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Is Masturbation Wrong for Christian Girls? (Part 1)

By: Kristen Clark

Caution: This topic may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Without being unnecessarily graphic, my hope in writing this two part series is to offer helpful biblical counsel for the many Christian girls who are struggling in this area.

It used to be that most blogs and books dealing with sexual sin issues were geared towards men. However, over the past few years many women have opened up about their own sexual sin struggles, expressing a need for help in this area as well. Praise the Lord! We, as women, are not immune to lustful sins any more than men are.

Lust is not a guy problem…it’s a human problem.

If you’re a girl who has struggled with any sort of lustful sin habit, you’re not alone. Millions of Christian women (single and married) are facing similar temptations every day. And by God’s grace, many of them are finding freedom and victory over their struggles!

I am going to be very open and transparent in this post because I want you to know that Christ has the power to help us overcome our sin and to find lasting victory.

Jump back in time with me.

As a single girl in my mid-teens, I remember crying out to God one night in desperation. My desire for physical intimacy was so strong that I felt like I couldn’t bear it anymore! I honestly wasn’t sure how I would survive until marriage with such strong sexual desires. “How is this a gift?!” I questioned God through my tears.

I knew how much God valued purity and holiness, but it seemed impossible to stay consistent for any length of time. I tried to control my lustful thoughts, but they seemed to overpower me more regularly than not. Masturbation had become a common theme in my life.

I didn’t know for a fact if it was wrong or not…but something deep in my heart told me it wasn’t God’s best.

The shame and guilt I felt after giving in to my lust was like a heavy dark cloud that lingered until morning.

My struggle with lust and masturbation became a constant companion throughout high school. I was on a roller coaster of winning the “battle” one week and losing it the next.

I was growing sick and tired of it.

As I entered my junior year of high school, I came across a little book that changed my life forever. Many of you have probably heard of it. It’s Joshua Harris’ famous little hardback book titled, “Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is.”

For the first time a lightbulb went off in my heart. After devouring that book, I gained a Biblical understanding of my God-given sexual desires.

I realized that my sexual “drive” wasn’t the enemy.

My sinful heart was.

God created our bodies with the capacity to enjoy pleasure and there is nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The problem comes when we allow natural urges to drive our heart and actions to sinful places.

My eyes were slowly opened to how Holy God was and how weak and needy I was. Instead of trying to muster up good behavior, I fell on my knees and cried out to a Holy God in humble desperation. I confessed my heart of pride and selfishness and asked God to forgive me of my lustful sins and for worshipping idols above my worship of Him.

For the first time I felt free. Free!

My battle with lust wasn’t over, but I was more victorious than I had ever been before.

Masturbation was no longer a normal part of my life.

In fact, from that point on until I got married (7 years later), I only gave in to masturbation a handful of times. Now, don’t get me wrong – I still fought against lustful thoughts in my mind on a regular basis, but they weren’t the theme of my life anymore. Praise the Lord!

I share my story with you to let you know that victory in Christ is possible. You are not alone in your struggles. We serve a powerful God and no sin is too great for the Cross of our Savior to conquer!

So, to answer the question in the title of this post – yes – I wholeheartedly believe that masturbation is wrong for Christian girls. In fact, I don’t believe it’s right for anyone.

Despite what popular psychologists might say, I do not believe masturbation is a “healthy and normal part of singleness.”

Our modern culture tells us that our sexual urges are like balloons on the verge of popping, and we need to release the intense pressure every now and then.

Although it might feel that way sometimes, God has given us the power through His Holy spirit to say no to the flesh and yes to righteousness. We are not victims of our sexual desires.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

The truth is, the more we give in to our sinful desires, the more we fall prey to their grip.

We continue to crave, but are never satisfied. That’s how sin works. It promises satisfaction, but always leaves us empty and hungry.

Regardless of how strong our sexual urges may be, as Christian girls, we are commanded to live pure and holy lives for God’s glory and our greatest joy. God will give us the strength we need to walk in righteousness…we just have to make the choice to strive after it wholeheartedly.

3 Reasons Masturbation is Wrong for Christian Girls:

1. Mind Toxin

While engaging in masturbation, it is very common for pornographic images (whether imagined or seen) to be used to fuel the act. From what I’ve experienced and researched, it seems that sexual fantasies accompany masturbation 99% of the time. Masturbation isn’t a solo act, but one that is fueled by lust.

Although the Bible never addresses masturbation directly, it addresses sexual immorality and lust many times. Lustful thoughts are toxic to our mind and heart.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Galatians 5:19 says, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality…”

Rather than seeing how close we can get to the line of compromise without going over, we should do everything within our power to stay as far away from the line of sin as possible.

Even if you claim to masturbate without lusting, why go there? Why allow yourself to be vulnerable to sin?

As long as lust is allowed to grow in one’s heart, the temptation to masturbate will probably always be present. Lasting freedom is only found when we attack our lustful sin at its root and do everything within our power to destroy it.

2. Sexual Isolation

The Bible clearly teaches us that God created sex to be enjoyed between one man and one woman within the context of marriage (1 Cor. 7:9, Heb. 13:14). God created sex to be an expression of our love for our spouse and a way to create intimate bonds with one another.

Even within marriage, sex should always be about loving and serving the other person, not about getting what we want.

When sexual intimacy is ripped out of its God-ordained context, it is no longer about loving and serving someone else, but about serving self.

Masturbation fuels selfishness.

As Tim Challies says, “Masturbation is inherently self-centered. An act meant to be shared toward two people is completely and exclusively about one person, all alone.”

Outside of marriage, sexual pleasure is isolated from “community.” It is isolated from serving another. It is isolated from loving another. God never intended sexual pleasure to be enjoyed as a solo act, but as a gift to be shared and given within marriage.

3. Self Worship

As Christians, our goal in life should be to “love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind” (Luke 10:27). We cannot fully serve God and serve self at the same time.

We can’t worship a holy God and satisfy our lust simultaneously. We can only do one or the other. Either we’ll choose to deny self and worship Christ, or we’ll choose to deny Christ and worship self.

Masturbation elevates self to be the center of our worship…the center of our heart’s affections.

Galatians 6:7-8 is a sobering reminder, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

We cannot worship God and worship self at the same time.

Winning the Battle.

Regardless of how often or little you struggle with sexual sin (namely masturbation) you are not out of reach of God’s conquering power. Christ died on the cross so we would no longer be slaves to sin.

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin” (Romans 6:6).

If you desire to conquer your struggle with masturbation, there is no better time than now to humble yourself and confess your sin to the Father. Freedom begins today.

This post is the first half of a two part series. Click HERE for Part Two. 

For now, I’d love to hear from you below.

  • In what ways do you feel defeated and weighed down in the area of moral purity?
  • On a practical level, how do you fight against the lustful temptations in your life?

Photo Credit: Here 

Sad girl. GirlDefined.com

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  • Thea

    There is a typo in the article. Supposed to be 2. Sexual Isolation

    • Thanks! Fixed it.

      • Leia

        Hi! Wondering where the 99% statistic comes from?

        • Sara

          She pulled it from her a**

          • JN Mullaney

            I struggled with masturbation a lot in junior high and still struggle with it occasionally but thankfully God has helped me overcome it and I have a lot less urge to do it because I always felt so guilty and dirty. Thank You so much for writing this!!!!!!!!!

          • Irena

            When I was about 14 or 15 It happened to me, But then I started thinking it was wrong. It gave me thoughts about things that are reserved for marriage. I asked God to forgive me and that I would try not to ever do it again. I resisted the urge for a while. But finally gave in and I felt so horrible. Pleas pray for me.

  • Esther Ty Hubbard

    Awesome article and thank you! Wish I had read this earlier before my mind went into all these lustful thoughts. For me many times its early in the morning when I’m to tired to fight. I’ll say scripture and pray, but at that moment it seems like the thoughts are more stronger. I know God is faithful and I receive my deliverance as I continue to see Him.

  • You see broken, I see mended

    I struggle with this, but i, from this moment on will not masturbate ever again. I will rely on the power of God to get me through this. Thank you so much for doing this article, it has opened my eyes!

  • Rebekah Teravskis

    Thank you Kristin for being so transparent! I knew it was hard to write this, but I really appreciate your transparency and openness.

  • Elaina

    Hi, My name is Elaina. First thank you for being so honest and sharing your experience with us. Sometimes the devil tries to tellvus were are the only ones. I grew up being a pastor’s kid. I started struggling with masturbation when I was seven years old. I had some bad influences at that time who introduced me to it. Throughout my life it seemed to follow me. What I mean by that is no matter where I moved there always someone who found me and told me to keep doing it. I felt so ashamed, so confused. I struggled with masturbation until I was about 14. I look back and it makes angry that the devil attached me in that way. I ask God why he could allow that to be shown to me at such a young age. I realized,and excepted the fact that it was sin, and strived to change. It wasn’t easy, and I messed up plenty of times. Eventually I realized I couldn’t do it in my own strength. That was probably the biggest thing for me. Once realized I want perfect I was going to mess up but was forgiven and I could overcome this not alone but with God. Yeah so that’s it. Sorry for the long comment. This post is very much appreciated. Thanks.

  • Mimi

    Kristen thank you so much. Until about a week ago I struggled with it massively but your post has given me extreme hope. Thank you so much again

  • Madison

    Thank you so much for this, I have been struggling with this for quite some time and I have committed myself to purity a few weeks ago this is so encouraging! prayer is truly a great tool against lust and temptation when I turn my mind and heart to thanking the lord I can focus on what I need, not what my flesh wants me to do, and constantly reading my bible Psalms is one of my favorite books and in Psalm 37:4 it says “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” now obviously God is not a genie but when you are in a relationship with him in prayer and study of scripture your desires will change and they will line up with what God wants for you!

    • Amen! Love that word of truth, Madison. Keep fighting the good fight! It sounds like you’re on a good road. Keep looking to Christ for your satisfaction and fulfillment. Much love, Kristen

      • Madison

        Thank you Kristen! I will!

  • Rebecca

    Great post- I’ve come to the same conclusion about it being a bad direction even though it isn’t specifically mentioned in Scripture. My greatest current struggle is that of the mind and heart- coveting what isn’t mine. I’m very affected by outward appearance (like most men are), which isn’t a sin necessarily, but our response to a sexual stimulation is. I’m amazed at how accurate Paul’s description is- in my mind I serve the law of God, but in my flesh I still serve the law of sin. “Who can rescue me from this body of death?” I’m a 27-year old single who has never dated with currently no good prospects. I might have decades of celibacy in front of me. I’m believing God’s grace will be enough.

    • Thanks for sharing, Rebecca! I sounds like God has taught you a lot through your struggles and journey to freedom. Keep fighting the good fight and never give up. Christ IS enough and He can help you conquer this! -Kristen

  • Thanks for this ladies. It really helped me.

  • Thanks for sharing, Phoenix. Sometimes the first step to finding freedom from sin is to bring it into the light! I’m so glad you’re being open and honest about your struggle. I will be writing a part 2 to today’s post which will offer some helpful tips on how to overcome masturbation, so be sure to check back on the blog this Monday! I’m praying for you girl! -Kristen

    • Phoenix Paradiso

      Thank you Kristen, for your prayers. I can’t wait for Monday’s post!

  • Hannah

    Thanks for sharing truth and encouragement once again!

  • Abigail Jackson

    Thanks for your honesty and transparency, Kristen. This is definitely something I’ve struggled with, and it’s almost worse because I had no idea where to find out about it. Asking the people around me would be admitting to it, and there was no way I wanted to do that. We need more people who are honest and brave about addressing such personal issues. Thanks for handling a difficult subject with love and humility! You’ve definitely helped me see it in a new light.

  • Amy

    Thank you for discuss this. I agree that it is wrong and am slowly getting away from
    years in this sin. I’ve found it helpful to admit the sin to trusted friends and also to keep
    away from temptations and ideas that can lead to wrong actions. I agree that the isolation
    and an strong imagination fueled the desire and it was a visious cycle. Though depression and a strong sense of anxiety accompanied my sin lapses, I’m learning to put my trust in God more. I look forward to reading the second part of this series.

  • Amanda

    Thanks so much for being willing to share this! When I was 13, I first began to struggle in this area, and up until I was 16, it continued. I went to summer camp the summer I was 16, and there my counselor shared her struggle with the same thing. Afterwards, I broke down crying, and shared my experience with her, and asked her to pray for me as I told my parents. At the end of the week, when our cabin prayed before we left, she told us that I had inspired her to tell her parents about her struggles. I was overwhelmed by how amazing God was, that He used my sins and struggles to help someone else. I very much appreciate when anyone is transparent about their personal struggles, because that can help others so much to be brave and share their own issues with others, and feel less alone. So, thanks for this!

  • Shimei

    Hi Kristen. Thank you so much for this enlightening post! I struggled with it for many years and only recently found true freedom! Thank you for the Christian perspective of it – most of the stuff on the internet encourages it and justifies it but as a Christian I suppose I always knew it wasn’t really as sinless as they made it out to be. Thanks again!

  • CA Pastors wife

    Thank you for finally addressing this very topic! I have counciled so many young ladies in this area, only to find other Christian women encourage it! I’ve even had young ladies tell me they were encouraged to do it at various camp settings! Lord help us! I’ve yet to meet any girl who is deep in it, who felt good about it afterwards. My heart breaks to see so many young ladies addicted to it, BUT in the same token, my heart is greatly encouraged to see so many getting victory! Thanks for posting!!!!!

  • Georjen

    Wow. I am so amazed by your boldness and bravery, Kristen. I’m struggling with the same sin ever since I was a kid. It has been my dark secret and I just want to break free from it. This blog has helped me and encouraged me a lot to fight for my purity. I realized that I’m not alone in this struggle. Thank you! I’m looking forward to reading the part 2. God bless!

  • Ariel Welch

    Thank you so much! I have been searching and searching for something like this. I am sixteen year old and sometimes I still have problems with this. I am thankfully in the process of freedom though. It’s so hard to find an article like this one. I’m so glad that I’m not alone and that there is hope for me. I still haven’t met anyone, personally, who will talk about it. I haven’t told ANYONE! Not even my best friend, whom I trust with my life. Should I tell someone? Or can I just keep this between God and myself? Thank you again!

    • Lab

      I struggled with this very problem and question. For years, James 5:16 would (at the time, living in sin) “torment” me–it’s actually the sin itself which keeps you bound with this torment, and made me even feel scared to obey God’s Word. I wanted to serve God, I wanted to do the right thing, but I was just too scared and embarrassed to confess. But the thing was, I wanted to get baptized and I felt I couldn’t because this sin was haunting me. I thought, “Hey, I already told God about a million times already that I’m sorry. I don’t really need to tell anybody.” That’s actually just a form of self-justification for sin.
      I go to a very small church and the pastor has known me since I was a baby (now an adult). I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t tell my parents, or any of my family members because I knew for certain it would break their hearts. God lead me to meet some very dear friends who, without knowing exactly of my sinful problem, guided me to figuring out what to do. It took days and nights of crying, praying, repenting..and God led me to a deacon of a nearby church–who, by the way, knows me and my family, and was also a youth leader/church counselor for many years–and after ‘suggesting’ to him that I have a problem/sin I’d like to confess, he accepted. He listened to my confession, gave me advice based on the Bible of what to do. Praying was the most important thing. Praying to God for strength against temptation, for cleansing, for peace.
      Pray to God to lead you and guide you through His Holy Spirit to know what to do. It’s a lot better if you do tell somebody, but make sure who it is. It could be your pastor or youth leader. Or any person that you know is godly and strong to “take it”. Sometimes, as my friends pointed out, you’ll want to confess a sin to a brother/sister in Christ or even your very best friend that you think you might be able to trust, but then it’ll turn out that they’re not very strong in this area and you’ll wind up with problems you’d rather not have. This is how I went through this battle of pride and, Praise God, came out victorious! But the main thing I can suggest to you to do is to certainly pray about it, but definitely don’t let it (or any other sin) “slide”. Why take the chance?

  • Caroline

    Thank you so much for sharing! I, too, struggled with this issue for years but I am joyful to say that I have found lasting freedom in the Holy Spirit. For so long I tried in my own strength to break free but now I see that it is only by God’s Spirit within me that I have freedom from the control that this sin had on me. Even though I still face ocassional temptations in this area, I have the power to choose to resist because of the Holy Spirit.

    2 Corinthians 3.17 (AMP) Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom].

    Galatians 5.16-18 (AMP) But I say, walk habitually in the [Holy] Spirit [seek Him and be responsive to His guidance], and then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the sinful nature [which responds impulsively without regard for God and His precepts]. For the sinful nature has its desire which is opposed to the Spirit, and the [desire of the] Spirit opposes the sinful nature; for these [two, the sinful nature and the Spirit] are in direct opposition to each other [continually in conflict], so that you [as believers] do not [always] do whatever [good things] you want to do. But if you are guided and led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the Law.

    Keep seeking Jesus, ladies!
    I’m praying that the Lord Jesus will deliver you and fill you with His presence, power, and freedom by His Holy Spirit!

  • Caroline

    Thank you so much for sharing! I, too, struggled with this issue for years but am joyful to say that I have found freedom in the Holy Spirit. For so long I tried in my own strength to break free but now I see that it is only by God’s Spirit within me that I have freedom from the control that this sin had on me. Even though I still face temptations in this area, I have the power to choose to resist because of the Holy Spirit.

    2 Corinthians 3.17 (AMP) Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom].

    Galatians 5.16-18 (AMP) But I say, walk habitually in the [Holy] Spirit [seek Him and be responsive to His guidance], and then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the sinful nature [which responds impulsively without regard for God and His precepts]. For the sinful nature has its desire which is opposed to the Spirit, and the [desire of the] Spirit opposes the sinful nature; for these [two, the sinful nature and the Spirit] are in direct opposition to each other [continually in conflict], so that you [as believers] do not [always] do whatever [good things] you want to do. But if you are guided and led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the Law.

    Keep seeking Jesus with me, ladies!
    I’m praying that the Lord Jesus will fill and continue to fill us with His presence, power, and freedom by His Holy Spirit!

  • Nikole, God’s Child

    Thank you for giving us a part of yourself. And thank Hod you did I it

  • Heather Hemsley

    When I was little, I became known with musterbation, but I had no idea it was wrong. No body knew about it, so I thought it was okay.. Until my mom brought me and my sister out of the house for a couple of days to talk about girl things. One of the things she talked about was musturbation! I immediately felt shameful and guilty. I confess, it took many days to try to get myself to stop because I was so used to it and yearning for it. But with God’s help, I now have no part of musturbation. Thank you so much Kristen for posting this! “– I still fought against lustful thoughts in my mind on a regular basis, but they weren’t the theme of my life anymore. Praise the Lord!” Yes!

    • Marie

      Wow! That is really great that your mother talked about it with you!! Prevention is better than cure. It would be great if more people talked about it and if more mothers could talk about it openly and honestly with their daughters before it becomes an issue. That way, if it still becomes an issue, at least ya got someone to turn to for accountability. I used to struggle with it and didn’t know whether it was wrong or not. I’ve been free of it for a couple years at least, but no one knows about it…cept my Maker. :-/ I wish I never did it.

      • Heather Hemsley

        Yes, I wish a lot of mothers did that. Then I think a lot more girls could have been kept accountable for their actions.

    • Nunya Biznizz

      Correction: Pray to God, not a saint. God is the only one who can and will listen to your prayers; praying to anyone else who would be an idol can’t do anything for anyone, buddy.

    • Emily Ambler

      Masturbation in no way is wrong, it is exploring your body that in no way damages or expoits others or yourself. Pleasure should be seen for what it is, a good feeling that all should get to experience. I hope that you get the opporunity to love your body for what it is 🙂

  • Pingback: Is Masturbation Wrong for Christian Girls? (Part 2)()

  • EllieC

    I also had this problem a couple years ago, but finally, with God’s help, I managed to overcome it. For any Catholics (or otherwise, if you feel comfortable doing it) out there reading this, I would advise saying a little prayer to St. Maria Goretti (the patron saint of teens struggling with purity) whenever sinful thoughts enter your mind.

    God bless!

    • Nunya Biznizz

      Correction: Pray to God, not a saint. God is the only one who can and will listen to your prayers; praying to anyone else who would be an idol can’t do anything for anyone, buddy..

  • Steph

    Hi kristen, thank you for your post and you encourage to talk about this topic, praise the Lord.
    I had never shared about my weak with lust with my sibblins in christ, because I was abash about it. I thought that just I am fighting with it, I discovered my taste for it when I was in high school when I was playing (using the pillow like a horse) I didn’t know about masturbation but I felt a sensation that I have never felt, so, it was the begining of my problem with masturbation. I wasn’t christian follower, but now I am a christian girl but until some moths ago I wasn’t clear if it is really bad. now sometime I fell temptation of come again in this but now I’m clear of truth and leave my think and desire in prayer and little by little and this temptation is less in my mind. Thank you for sharing it because many people (like me) doesn’t talk about this problem? That is real and many girls are searching for answering

  • danie

    hi kristen
    thank u for posting this I really struggle with this

  • Jen

    Basically, don’t look at your genitals, don’t even think about them. That’s what works for me. I really respect the Christian character from The Secret Life of an American Teenager, she doesn’t give into her desires!

  • Emma V

    OMGoodness!! I lit cried while reading this cause I felt like I would never be free. That this would be a struggle for the rest of my life. I felt like I was in a prison chained to the floor and was never going to be free. Thank you sooo much for writing about this!! God bless

  • Anna

    Thank you so much for this. This is what I needed to hear. I have been struggling with this so much.
    God bless

  • Shayle

    This has been a struggle of mine since middle school, on and off for about 14 years. It’s sad and embarrassing to say, but it is a part of my testimony. It’s something that has had a hold on me for too long now, and I’m ready to fight against it harder than I ever have to beat it. I have a lustful heart that led me into a homosexual relationship as well as giving in to guys I was dating to feel loved and adored by them. I’m in a season of singleness and learning about myself. Grown for the Lord, and this is the biggest struggle I have had to face. I want help with this and I need prayers for strength and renewing of the mind and heart.

  • Leah

    Wow! I really thought I was the only woman who struggles with this! It’s encouraging to know that I’m not the only one. I’ve struggled with this issue since about the age of eight, and I continue to struggle with it now. I need help, but I always give in to temptation. It’s embarrassing. I really need help.


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